This is a Cold Fusion AU. Yeah, I wrote a tiny AU of my own fanfic. I do what I want.

Hopefully the reason it's an AU is self-evident. I'm not going to write multiple hundreds of thousands of words just to start over again! But anyway, I found this in my Snippets folder and I honestly have no memory of writing it. It was like Past Dal's gift to Future Dal. It sprang fully-formed from my forehead. And it was sort of not bad and really cheesy and kinda fun to read and…I needed to share it with you. So I made some changes because that's what I do, and here it is.

AND SPEAKING OF CHANGES...if you've read Cold Fusion and you're super-duper attached to it as-is, you may want to download it, because I'm working my way back through it and editing it up. Finally. Actually happening. (Turns out I haven't just been stuck! Turns out I've been depressed! For probably a while now! So I'm finally getting treatment and my whole brain is like WHALKASJDF MUST WRITE) I'm going to post the updated chapters on AO3 but I'm probably also going to update the fic here on ffnet as well at some point, so...heads up!

Title is from Penelope's Song by Loreena Mckennitt, which you should totally listen to.

long as the day in the summertime / deep as the wine-dark sea

Megamind groans. What happened? Was the scan a success? He lifts a hand, rubs his temple, but the electrodes are missing. "What?" he mutters. "What?"

"Megamind?"

His eyes pop open. That's—that's Roxanne. Roxanne Ritchi is sitting on the side of his bed. And, holy crap, she looks like she's about to cry, oh no, oh crap. What did he do? What's going on? Why is she here, where's Minion?

She takes his hand in hers and squeezes it while he's still frozen, pinned on his back by sheer confusion. After a moment, though, his eyes narrow; this is all entirely too similar to the dreams he has sometimes for it to be real. "Miss Ritchi," he says stiffly, "what's happening?"

Her mouth wobbles. "You're going to be okay. You hear me?"

Well, that's ominous. He glares at her and slowly sits up, blinking around at the…wait, this isn't his Lair. This isn't his bedroom. It's similar, but the furniture is different and there's a viewscreen on one wall that seems to just be showing the outdoors. He's lying in his bed—well, now he's sitting up in bed—and Roxanne is perched on the edge of the mattress, just watching him, her mouth a thin line and her blue eyes swimming.

There's. Something different about her face. She's gotten a haircut recently, but that can't be it. She looks…

Oh. She's older. Not much older, probably—hopefully—not more than a few years, but—

His stomach roils. "How out of date am I?"

"Wh-what?"

"I'm a clone, yes?" He cocks an eyebrow and does his best to ignore the way she's looking at him, which is more or less the same way he always wants to look at her. "The last thing I remember is going to sleep so my personality and memories could be recorded without my consciousness getting in the way." He's sort of proud of himself for managing to sound so terrifically calm when all he really wants to do is leap out of bed and dehydrate the woman in front of him before she can see too much of the Lair. The only reason he hasn't done exactly that is because if she's sitting here, in his bedroom…well, it's probably already too late.

Also, he has no idea where the de-gun is.

"How many years has it been?" It must be years. The furniture is different and the walls have been painted dark gray instead of flat black, there's that viewscreen on the wall, there's her slightly-older face. He drops his eyebrows, lowers his head a little, pitches his voice low and serious and prays she doesn't argue. "And where is my gun?"

Roxanne doesn't answer him right away; she's still just…sitting there and looking at him. Just last week he'd considered throwing in the towel; nothing he did would ever amount to anything, nothing he did could ever make a real difference anyway. But now here she is, and she's looking at him like she wants to fall into him, and her voice shakes when she says, "Four. It's been. It's been four years." Then she stands and goes over to the wardrobe, pulls out his gun belt with the de-gun in it like there's absolutely nothing abnormal about her handling his personal items? Which, excuse you? Megamind is honestly too stunned to protest or tell her to be careful, but the fear trickling up his spine when she turns back to him is enough to jerk him out of his funk somewhat.

She starts to approach, but pauses when Megamind sucks a breath through his nose and puts his hands flat on either side of his hips, defensive, ready to bolt if he needs to. His eyes flick from her face to the gun and back again, wary.

Roxanne holds the gun belt out at arm's length, raises her free hand into the air, palm out, nonthreatening. It's not far to the bed, and she stops as soon as the belt is close enough for Megamind to reach out and take it. Which he does, after a long moment, nostrils flaring a little as he lets out a slow breath. "Miss Ritchi," he says, in the same low voice, "that was extremely unwise."

Her throat works and she nods. "Probably," she allows. "But. I don't want to make you feel cornered. So. Let me explain, before you shoot me?"

He pulls the de-gun, rolling the barrel to de-hydrate. "Where is Minion."

"He's here," she tells him, her eyes on his hands on his gun. "He's safe. We…we thought it should be me. To do this. Just jump right in, you know?" He studies her, suspicious, but she doesn't sound like she's lying.

After a moment, he jerks a nod at her. "So explain," he says coolly, turning back to his de-gun and making a show of checking the weapon over so he doesn't have to look at her face. "Four years. Fill me in. And I will ask Minion later," he glances up briefly, "and if I find you've lied to me, Miss Ritchi, you're going to lose an eye."

She blinks. "That's quite a threat."

"I believe it's important to be specific."

To his surprise, Roxanne just nods and then carefully sits down on the edge of the mattress again, biting her lip.

"I am serious," he says. "Don't test me."

The look she sends him at that is very frank. "Megamind, you don't threaten anything you aren't willing and able to follow through on. You think I don't know that?"

His eyebrows twitch. "I just threatened to hurt you. Permanently."

"Yes, if I lie to you, which I'm not going to. So it's fine." When he pulls back his head and stares at her, she sighs a little. "You're a supervillain," she says. "And I...can't blame you for being freaked out right now. This must all seem very weird."

Okay. Interesting. He hadn't expected her to just take that kind of thing in stride.

Interesting, but ultimately unimportant. He pulls his feet away from her, sits crosslegged with the de-gun unholstered in his lap. "I believe," he says, as coldly as he can, "you were going to explain. You have ten minutes. That's more than generous. And then I want you out of my Lair."

She looks at him for a moment, and then her face sort of—crumples. She yanks it mostly back under control almost immediately, but it's exceptionally obvious she's crying. "Um," she says, "Maybe—oh, this—maybe this was a mistake." She leans over sideways, away from him, then sits back up again with a box of tissues she'd pulled from somewhere. "Meg-Megamind, would you—do you want me to get Minion in here?"

He's staring at her, his back ramrod straight. "Um," he says. She's crying. Why is she. She's crying again, why is she crying again, why is—

She blows her nose, throws the crumpled tissue at the little garbage can by the dresser without looking. Nails it. And then she lifts her left wrist and pinches the face of her watch, a sleek silver thing Megamind doesn't recognize.

"Min-Minion?" she says.

"Miss Ritchi?" Minion's voice replies, and Megamind pulls a long, sharp breath. Her watch. Her watch is linked to Minion's suit. "Is—is everything okay? Is Sir—"

"Why are you crying," Megamind says.

She shakes her head and looks over at him, her eyes red, her face wet. "Minion can explain," she begins, but Megamind cuts her off.

"You explain," he says, despite his deep misgivings. "If—if you and Minion agreed—it should be you—then—"

"Miss Ritchi, do you need help?"

She pinches the watch again, but Megamind raises his voice. "No, Minion, we're fine. Um. I'll. Be there soon."

There's a pause, and then a very unsteady, "Code: Copy that, Sir."

Roxanne lowers her hand, frowning quizzically at Megamind, her shoulders still hitching.

He feels like he's going to rattle to pieces in a moment. Everything is so weird. But he swallows, and says, trying to glare suspiciously and only partly succeeding, "If you and Minion agreed it should be you, then—it should be you."

She watches him for another couple seconds, then nods a few times. "Okay," she whispers, still looking absolutely miserable. "Give—give me a minute. You," she tries, but her voice cracks and her eyes fill again. "I'm. S-so sorry. I…" She draws a shuddery breath, chokes on it.

Megamind's hands twitch, aching to touch her cheeks, wanting very very badly to reach out, brush the tears away, but—he's not wholly willing to leave the gun. But Roxanne is sitting there and just staring at him and struggling to get herself back under control and—Megamind finally can't stand it, he can't stand it, he has to try. She's in his bedroom, she's sitting on his bed, that must mean something. It must mean something that she's here instead of Minion.

He keeps his right hand on the de-gun and slowly, slowly reaches for her with his left, watching her face the whole time, looking for some kind of signal that he should back off, some sort of revulsion, some disgust, some sign she's going to attack, anything—but it doesn't come. He cups her cheek and brushes his thumb across the freckled skin under her eye, and oh, man, Megamind must have done something right at some point, because she leans into his hand.

Which, he's just noticed, is blue. He's not wearing his gloves.

He panics and jerks back; he's not wearing anything. No, wait, he's wearing pajamas. Okay, that's something, but dammit, now he's shaky all over again.

She shakes her head, and now she's reaching for him, and wow, okay, that's new. That's incredible. He leans back, uncertain. "Megamind," she says thickly. "No. Don't…please don't pull away."

"But I don't understand," he exclaims, unable to keep the plaintive note from his voice and hating it, and she withdraws. "What happened?"

Roxanne takes a deep breath and lets it out on a hiss, then gathers herself somewhat. She seems to have drawn some comfort from his touch, which…is…weird. "I'm. I'm going to start at the beginning, okay? Otherwise this won't make any sense at all."

"O-okay," Megamind agrees, clenching and unclenching his blue hands in the covers pooled around his waist. "Yes. Take it from the top."

"Metro Man died."

Well, that's one hell of an opening line. Megamind's eyes fly wide and the world grinds to a halt. "Wha…no. He can't have," he blurts, then recovers. "I, I mean…Hooray? I…won! I think? I finally figured out his weakness?"

That gets something like a smile, that's progress. She sniffs, blows her nose again. "Ugh, sorry. No, you didn't figure out his weakness, but…yes, you won. Sort of. You spent a few months ruling the city—destroying it—but after a while, you weren't happy, you were…bored. Directionless. You had no purpose." Megamind just blinks at her, uncomprehending. "Minion said you called yourself a 'bullfighter with no bull to fight.'"

Okay, yes, that's the sort of thing he would say. That makes a little more sense. His destructive machines are fun to design, fun to build, fun to use, but if nobody stopped him—well, those battles are the most fun. They're. Sort of the point.

"So…I…found a new hero," he guesses.

For some reason, his contribution makes her look relieved. "You made one, actually. You infused Hal—you remember my cameraman? Hal? You gave him Metro Man's powers. Unfortunately, he wasn't exactly hero material."

"It killed him?"

"No, it worked! But he went rogue. And…" She hesitates, biting her lip. "You and I had a…a misunderstanding while you were in disguise as someone else. Did you have the disguise generator in…your time, I guess?"

He shakes his head, thrown somewhat by the lack of segue. "No, but it sounds like a concept I've been toying with for a while," he says slowly. "I still have some kinks to work out, but it's a…sort of wearable hard-light overlay coupled with—"

"With a dynamic pocket dimension keyed to your spatiokinetic signature," Roxanne choruses with him, nodding, and Megamind feels his eyes get huge as his traitorous heart skips a beat because—that's his terminology, these are his concepts, this is Roxanne Ritchi just spouting it off and grinning at him while doing it. Not a big grin, but still. "Yes, exactly. Okay, so. You were in disguise—probably a couple different disguises; Hal didn't know who you were when you were training him—"

"I trained him?"

"Of course," she says, startled. "You and Minion. You needed…you were hoping he'd turn out to be like Metro Man, that he'd fill that niche. So yeah, you were his coach.

"And while you were training Hal, I was working with you on the side to try and figure out your plan so I could maybe stop you. I imagine you were probably trying to sabotage me." She frowns a little, looking distracted. "You know? I never actually asked you about that? Guess I'll never know, now."

His lips twitch. This whole thing sounds like a godawful mess waiting to happen. Which describes most of his plots, honestly. So far this is sounding pretty plausible.

But the next bit comes completely out of left field.

"Anyway, the problem was, we…you and I, we started dating," Roxanne says, and Megamind's heart stutters again as his world creaks on its axis. "I…I was falling in love with someone I thought I knew. We talked…God, we talked all the time, about…everything." She looks like she's starting to struggle again, she's biting both her lips together and blinking, but Megamind is just too stunned to do anything about it because wait, what? We did what now? You were falling in what with who?

She takes another shivery breath and continues. "We talked about our dreams. Our pasts. Our hopes for the future. And…can I ask you something?" she says, and Megamind blinks but nods and tries to focus over his pounding heart, tries to swallow the lump in his throat back down into his chest where it belongs. "If you were in disguise, if you knew I'd never figure out who you really were—would you lie to me about those things?"

He frowns. Considers that. Considers telling her yes, duh, of course I would have lied, this is me we're talking about, I'm a lying liar who lies, because that would be the evil thing to say. But she isn't talking to him like he's evil. She's talking to him like they're just two people having a conversation, and also she keeps crying at him and he'd rather not give her any more reasons to cry. So he swallows, steels himself, and answers honestly. "Probably not? I would certainly omit…things. But I wouldn't have any reason to lie."

She looks relieved again. Interesting. "You already knew that," he tells her, frowning.

Roxanne takes a deep breath, releases it in a rush. "Yes. I did."

"That was a test," he realizes slowly, and his frown goes dark even as Roxanne pulls up short.

"No," she says. "No, I just—"

"Miss Ritchi, how dare you—"

"Oh will you stop!" she cries. Megamind recoils, blinking. "I am just trying to see where your head is! Can you blame me? I didn't know this you very well! I am here, alone, because I still trust you, Megamind, I trust four-years-ago-you with my life but I don't actually know four-years-ago-you! So I am just—trying to—to see where you are. That's all." She runs a shaking hand through her hair, shifts to sit with one leg under her, facing him more directly. "It's not a test, I swear, I just…I want to meet you where you are, Megamind. But I don't know where that is, right now."

He swallows. Opts not to speak. That. Does make sense. This is weird for her, too.

After a moment or so, she sighs. "Anyway…one night, we were at a restaurant and we kissed," and Megamind's eyes get very big, "and I bumped the disguise generator by accident and turned it off."

He blanches.

"You can imagine how upset I was."

"I…probably," he says quietly, because she seems to be expecting some kind of response. "Yes." Then he looks at her. Sitting in his bedroom, explaining what he'd missed. Despite his interruptions, his suspicion, his threats. "But," he says, "but you're here now. Something must have happened."

He thinks for a second, frowning. She would never have sought him out after something like that, so he must have come to her. And there's only one thing he can think of that would cause him to do that after committing such an enormous faux pas. "Hal was too much for me to handle on my own," he guesses, knowing she'll be quick to correct him if he's wrong. "Without knowing his predecessor's weakness, I would have had no idea how to stop him permanently. You knew Metro Man best; you certainly dated him long enough that he must have trusted you. I went to you for help—maybe he had a hideout, or a…secret cave of some kind."

Something about that makes her grin a little. "You're about eighty percent correct. Metro Man and I were never a couple."

He blinks at her, shocked. "Wait, really? But I thought you two were such a sure thing."

"That's almost exactly what you said last time," she murmurs, then shakes herself. "Well, he was never really my type."

His mouth lifts into something like a reluctant smile. "Really. And just what is your type, Miss Ritchi?"

Suddenly she looks almost shy. "I've always preferred brains over brawn, Megamind." She looks down at her hands, fidgets with her nails, looks back over at him, and if his heart rate wasn't already absolutely berserk, the little smile she sends him would have more than taken care of it. "And my name is Roxanne."

"I…wait. You don't mean to say that you…" He shuts his eyes and shakes his head, trying to wrap his mind around the thought, trying not to hope.

This is a trick. It must be a trick.

"Let me finish," Roxanne says. "I took you to Metro Man's hideout, where—surprise! we discovered he'd faked his death." Megamind scowls. "You should really get the whole thing from him, but long story short, he was miserable as a hero. You asked him to help—"

His head snaps up. "I did what—"

"You told him there was a madman destroying your city," she continues, ignoring this. "Explained about Hal. He wouldn't go for it. He…pretty much told you you could handle it."

Megamind's eyes go very wide, then very narrow.

"We left. I was angry, you were resentful and hopeless—"

"Well, yeah," he blurts, before he can stop himself. There's a kind of roaring in his ears. "He just—you said I was destroying the city, too, before the Hal plot! What, he just, just stood back and watched? Just…let me go on a rampage? And, and he knows I never defeated him! What kind of guarantee did he have that I was going to win this? Irresponsible! Unbelievable! Hal would have been—he would have been monstrously destructive, powerful beyond belief; this defies—it—he—" His gaze, which has been flickering around the room so far, snaps to Roxanne.

"This is how I died," he says flatly, before she can respond to any of this, "isn't it. I've been out of commission for…what, a month? Two? Is any of the city still standing? If I died—if I died, Metro Man would have come out of hiding. Miserable or not, he, he must have come ba—did Hal kill him?" He stiffens. "He's not dead, is he? Tell me he's not dead. If he's dead, we're—we're fucked, but—all right, what have we tried so far? Have we tried drowning him? No, no, we must have tried that already, that's obvious. What about—"

"Megamind stop," Roxanne says, reaching for his hand again, but Megamind startles and scrambles back up towards the headboard and out of reach. She sighs and rubs her eyes. "Please, just let me finish, I've been trying to think of how to fill you in for weeks and this is the best I could come up with, just going in order, start to finish, so please."

He grits his teeth and nods jerkily. Keeps his finger on the trigger of the de-gun.

She swallows. "So. I couldn't believe you would give up, but…we left the hideout and I was trying to come up with some kind of plan, but then you turned to me and—and I'd never seen you look like that before, open like that and still so angry at everything, and you said—and I quote—'I'm the bad guy. I don't save the day. I don't fly off into the sunset. And I don't get the girl.' And then you said you were going home."

Megamind still doesn't say anything. He can't. He'd said all that? He must have; the inflection she'd used is definitely him, but…that's unusually candid, for him.

"So I decided if you wouldn't go after Titan—that was Hal's superhero name," she clarifies when he looks abruptly confused, "then I would."

He starts. "Miss Ritchi! You didn't!"

"Well somebody needed to, what else was I supposed to do?" she snaps, sharp for a moment. "I figured I'd try talking to him, but if that didn't work, I couldn't take him out on my own. But I knew you'd come back. If I got into hot water, you'd help me."

"You couldn't have known that," he protests, taken aback, bewildered. He'd resolved not to interrupt, but this is ridiculous. "You—you can't have—trusted me like that, that's crazy! You could've been killed!"

"The Megamind I knew would never have run from a fight," she declares, her head up, glaring at him, challenging. "Even when he had absolutely no chance of winning. It was your best quality. I needed you to be that guy—and you were." And then suddenly her glare vanishes and she's beaming at him, smiling bright white and looking right at him, and he's…small and the wrong color and ugly and wrong and she's smiling at him. "Megamind, you were amazing.

"I mean, there I was, tied to the top of the Metro Spire with a one-way sign, Titan trying to act all menacing and evil—he gave you an hour to come stop him, just one hour to escape from prison and come up with a plan and bring it to fruition—and the timer runs out, so he cuts through the building, starts to knock it over. And then, BAM!" She throws her arms out to the side in a show of wild enthusiasm, and he jumps. "Lasers and smoke and lightning from your storm generator and Guns 'n' Roses and a giant floating you head made out of thousands of brainbots crowing about how dare he challenge you…oh, I wish you could have seen yourself," she adds, looking at him again, still bright-eyed and smiling at the memory. "Turns out it was Minion disguised as you in the end, but it was obviously your idea. It was the single greatest show you've ever put on. It was magnificent."

Him? Magnificent? She doesn't look like she's joking.

"And you did it to save my life," Roxanne says. "My life and the city.

"Anyway, so Minion caught me on the hoverbike but we still almost got run over by the Spire. He threw me clear before the bike crapped out, so the spire impaled his exosuit, but I hit a shop awning, so I was okay.

"And then you showed up, disguised as Metro Man, and chased Hal off." Megamind can't help but snort at the idea, and a smaller smile tugs at Roxanne's lips. "I had no idea it was you, at the time. As far as I knew, you were lying against the fountain in the square with…with the Spire sticking into your chest and I was so scared. Megamind, that was the most scared I'd ever been up to that point. I thought you were dead."

He almost can't take that. The idea that Roxanne—the one person he's been trying for years to get to notice him, to give him a second glance—was afraid he was dead. The idea that she might want him to be alive. Minion would miss him if he died, and maybe a few of his uncles, but Roxanne? Never.

But. Here she is, saying it, so.

She takes a deep breath. "You weren't, of course," she says with another little smile. "I don't think I've ever been so glad to see Minion in my whole life. Titan came back, though, and he did beat you up pretty badly—you spent a week and a half in a healing coma at my apartment—but you got him in the end. Witty one-liner parting shot and everything. You took away his powers for good." She grins. "You served him his ass on a plate, saved me, saved the city, and you did all the important bits wearing your own face.

"And then you rebuilt the Spire and replaced everything you'd broken," she finishes with a little shrug, while he's staring at her and trying to process all that. "You haven't gone all the way to the right side of the law; you've still got intel coming in from Lancaster and York but they mostly manage themselves now. They're halfway unified, actually, now Spider is on the rise."

"Miss—Roxanne, wait. Stop." He shakes his head. "I'm…I'm so confused. You forgave me for lying to you?"

Her expression softens. "I did," she says quietly. "I was furious at the time, but…like I said, it started as a misunderstanding. I startled you while you were disguised and you didn't know what to do. You've never done well with surprises. And it wasn't as though you lied to me about anything but your name. You said it yourself, just now—you had no reason to.

"That was last July. It's November now—the next November, I mean—and…we've been together ever since." She sends him another little smile, a shrug. "A year and a half, almost."

He stares at her, speechless, and this time he doesn't move when she edges closer to him, when she slowly takes his hand. He flinches, but he doesn't move away.

"It hasn't always been easy," she continues in the same soft tone as before, looking at his eyes, his face. "For either of us. We've argued. Yelled at each other—sorry about that, by the way," she adds, and he manages a noise like 'sokay. "We've had our share of problems. But we always came back, we always talked through it with each other. There are things we waited to tell each other—it took me nearly two months to finally admit to you that my last boyfriend was abusive, and you took even longer than that to tell me about everything that happened when you were fifteen. And that was okay. You didn't have to tell me any of it. Or," she adds gently, giving his fingers a little squeeze, "what happened when you were seven. In Washington. What…what they did to you."

All the blood drains out of Megamind's face. "I," he says, lightheaded, "I must have really trusted you. To. To have told you a…a thing like that."

She smiles. "You did. I hope you will again. It took us a long time to get to the point that we really, truly trusted each other, but…it was worth it. You were worth it. And I'm sorry to bring up Washington, but…you deserve to know how much I know."

He's quiet for a long time, processing all that. She just listed off two of the absolute worst times in his life—things even Minion doesn't know the details of—like they were nothing.

No, he realizes, not like they were nothing. With the hand-holding and her gentle tone, she knows exactly how much those experiences have cost him. And she's treating them with the appropriate respect, and…

His heart hurts. His stomach hurts. His throat feels like he's just swallowed a rock and he wants to cry, but he can't—not here, not now, not where she can see. But, God. He feels like he's just been ripped in half. This can't be real. This…everything she's telling him is pretty much his happiest dream. The best things he's never dared to hope for, barely allowed himself to think about—a stable relationship, public acceptance. Not to mention an end to Lancaster and York's tedious squabbling. He almost can't believe it.

Almost. Because here she is, and she knows these things, and what she's describing—the things he'd done, things he'd said, things he's built—they do sound like him, a little. If he extrapolates.

Well, if it is true, then it must be okay for him to ask the impossible. Worth a shot. And if it isn't real, if it's a dream or a trick, well, he'll just spend the rest of the day in bed, nursing a broken heart, like he usually does when he wakes up from these dreams.

"Roxanne," he says. "Would…would you be willing to…stay? With me?" The halting words sound nothing like him; he's totally exposed, here, and trying desperately not to panic. "I'm not the man you...you f-fell in love with. But," he says, and swallows again, and looks down at their joined hands, feeling very unsteady and very much like this whole thing is going to explode in his face, but hoping, hoping, "…I think…I could be. Someday."

Her smile flares so wide this time that it honestly startles him, and—oh, and—wait, was she afraid? That doesn't make sense; what did she think he was going to say in the face of all this? No, she's wrong? No, this isn't him and he doesn't want this life with her in it that he apparently has?

"You are the man I fell in love with," she tells him, still smiling all over her face, her eyes alight. "Whether you have his later memories or not, you're still the same person you were when I fell in love with you. I know you play outside the law, I know you've hurt people. I know there's blood on your hands and I know you're totally sincere about wanting to defeat Metro Man. Please don't ever think I don't understand that." Then she scoots forward again and she's close, she's too close; he tenses—but Roxanne takes his face in both hands, and his heart just stops. "But knowing the truth of all that doesn't change who you are. You're sweet and funny and kind. You never hurt me, not once, and you even went out of your way to keep me safe a few times."

He stares at her. "Y-you…" he whispers. "You're w-wrong, I'm not…I'm not…"

"You are," she says, staring straight into his eyes. "Megamind, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I love you."

He stares for another couple seconds. He wants—he wants to run. Wants to hide. Wants to wake up in the life he remembers where everything is familiar and everything still hurts but it's a familiar hurt, not like this, not scary like this. But as much as he wants to run…he also really super very much wants to kiss her. She's so close. He could totally kiss her. She might even want him to.

No. That's because there's something wrong with her. He clenches his fingers in the sheets still tangled around his legs. This is a trick, it has to be. She doesn't want him. Not really. She can't possibly.

"Megamind," Roxanne says in a quiet voice. "Put your hands on me."

Huh?

"Do it," she says. "Put your hands on my face, like I'm doing with you. I'm serious."

Slowly, he leans forward, reaches out, lays his long hands flat on either side of her face, his fingers in her hair, cupping her cheeks. Then he tweaks an eyebrow, hoping she'll tell him what she wants next, because he's not going fucking anywhere from here on his own initiative; he doesn't dare.

"Now," Roxanne says, without breaking eye contact, "kiss me."

Megamind's eyebrows pull upward, pleading. Is she serious? Can he? Really? But she's leaning forward too, she's smiling, there are tears in her eyes as they close, and then Megamind can't look any more. He hesitates, then closes the gap, brings his mouth to hers, and oh. Yes. This. Oh, yes.

You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I love you, she'd said that, out loud, with her actual voice, and now she's kissing him. Okay. This is. Greatest best thing ever. Okay. Okay, no: he doesn't want to run from this, actually. Mostly what he wants to do is cry because God, God, he never thought he would hear those words, least of all from her. But here she is, kissing him, telling him she'd been scared he was dead, telling him she'd forgiven him for lying to her, telling him he saved her life, he was amazing, magnificent, telling him to kiss her, touch her.

And she's holding him, too, the same way, and she breaks the kiss to brush more kisses across his face, his eyelids, his forehead—his forehead—and that's more or less when he realizes she's beaten him to the chase in terms of crying. "Rox, Roxanne," he protests, gripping her shoulders and moving her away a little so he can look at her face. "Roxanne, what's wrong?"

"Sorry, I'm sorry, just…you were dead," she whispers. "You were dead and then Minion said maybe we could make a clone, and I…I was so scared you wouldn't…" She gives a damp little laugh and shakes her head. "It doesn't matter. You do still want me. You do? Still want to be with me?"

He nods frantically, not trusting himself to speak, and he's relieved when that gets a wobbly laugh out of her.

"Oh, good," she whispers, and bends her head forward and, and oh fuck, there goes his heart again because she's nuzzling his head with her head and that's. A thing that's happening. He's going to cry, it's going to happen; he's fighting it but he is losing.

Then she says. "Um. I should mention, um." She sits back, moves to hold both of his hands. "I honestly think Wayne is almost more scared than I was."

Megamind's forehead creases. "Wayne? Wayne Scott? Metro Man?"

She nods. "He…thinks of you like family," she says quietly. "He's started referring to you as his brother, he—Megamind, he was gutted when you died. I've never seen anybody put their fist through so many walls."

Well if that doesn't just beat all. But it's a brave new world where Roxanne is in love with him so what the hell, why not, this might as well happen too. But the mind still boggles, and Megamind just goggles at her until she explains, "There was a fire at the manor. It killed his father, it almost killed his mother. Keep in mind, at this point you'd gone through the whole months-long process of realizing how discontented you were without him to challenge you, and probably being glad he was alive, and—"

"And being extremely angry at him for not helping with Titan," he finishes, "and then going through that whole loop again a few more times, probably." He sighs. "Okay. Yes. I can see me wanting to…help. With that."

She grins. "I'll say you helped. You helped develop a medical procedure that probably saved his mother's life."

Megamind frowns, is quiet for a moment, trying to get his head around this. Just because he can conceive of it happening doesn't mean it makes any sense to him. He wrinkles his face. "Right, okay, but…Metro Man?" He shakes his head. "But I…but he…"

"He cares about you, Megamind. And I know you don't remember any of that, but…please? Try not to throw it in his face?" She sounds extremely hopeful. "For Minion's sake, at least? They're friends now, and Minion will be in the middle, and…"

Actually, that helps somewhat. If Minion can be friends with Metro Man, then, "I'll try," Megamind says, nodding jerkily. "I'll…I can't promise anything, but I'll try."

"Thank you."

Megamind hesitates, then pulls his hands away and swings his legs down to the floor, slowly stands up. "Speaking of Minion," he says, "I should really go see how he's doing. Are my clothes…?"

"Left side of the dresser is yours," Roxanne says, but when Megamind opens a drawer he sees black denim instead of spandex. Confused, he lifts a pair of jeans out. They're definitely his; there's no way they'll fit anyone else. The next drawer he opens contains shirts and scarves. Huh. Looks like he wears civilian clothes now.

He glances back at Roxanne. "Um," he says. "Can you…um…"

"Oh! Oh, I'll turn around," she says quickly, doing so.

He swallows. That'll have to do.

The jeans are snug, but they fit well enough. He's used to spandex, so snug is good. The first shirt he pulls out of the drawer throws him for a loop, though. "This is a turtleneck," he says blankly.

"There's a zipper in the back. It's hidden."

"Oh!" Well, would you look at that. Perfect. He shrugs into it, tugs the zipper up, folds the collar over and immediately feels so much more comfortable than he was in his pajama top. He can pop the collar of his pajamas as much as he wants, but it doesn't offer nearly enough protection.

He glances over at the full-length mirror. Okay, he's not complaining; he looks pretty sharp. And Roxanne has turned around; he can see her in the mirror on the dresser, and judging by the color in her cheeks, she's liking what she's seeing.

He starts to turn to say something suggestive to her—he doesn't know what, but as long as she's delusional he might as well abuse her good graces—but then his eye falls on something on the dresser that makes his heart flip over and leap into his throat.

Rings. On the dresser, rings. Four of them. Two plain silvery ones and two more heavily-adorned ones, and the plain rings are made to nest with the other two.

Roxanne is in the middle of standing up and stretching; she doesn't notice what Megamind has seen, doesn't notice his hands trembling as he picks up one of the plain rings and reads the tiny inscription on the inside.

M & R 10/31/12

His blood rushes in his ears and he has to lean hard against the dresser to keep his knees from buckling.

I'm married, he thinks, and then, No. We. We're married.

Roxanne's not delusional, holy shit. It's all real, holy shit.

"Megamind? What're you…oh. Oh, no, I meant to put those away," Roxanne exclaims, dismayed, hurrying forward. "H-here, you don't have to..."

She reaches for them, but Megamind moves lizard-quick and grabs his other ring off the dresser, clutches them both to his chest and backs away. "Why?" he asks, suspicious, his voice cracking. "Why do you want them? Why would you hide this?"

"Because you didn't ask for this," she says. "And I…I thought, this, on top of everything else?" She shakes her head. "Megamind, you didn't ask for this, I'm so sorry. I still want you, if you'll have me, but I don't think you'll believe me for a good long while, so…"

Megamind lets out a hoarse bark of laughter. No, she's got it backwards. This is possibly the one thing he would believe, simply because it's so unbelievable that it must be real, just like every truth in his life has always been stranger than the strangest fiction. This, in combination with everything else—yes, all right, okay.

He slips his rings onto his left hand, which is still shaking badly, then glances at the dresser and quickly swipes up the other two. Roxanne looks confused, but only for a second, because in the next second, Megamind has dropped to one knee in front of her.

Her mouth falls open. "What?" she gasps. "Megamind, no, you can't, you just woke up and you don't know that we'll…I mean, we'll try, but you can't know that you want…"

"Солнышко моё, I absolutely can know that," he says, and okay, he's not sure why she looks so stricken at that, but fuck it, he's gone this far and he's going all the way come hell or high water; he's never done anything by halves before and he's certainly not about to start now. "Miss…Roxanne," he says, gazing up at her, "this is all I've ever wanted. And yes, I do know that I…well, I grew to know you and I fell in love with you once, I can do it again. Besides," he adds, grinning sheepishly, "I'm already completely infatuated with you. You're amazing by any metric, I know that for a fact right now, that's as much a fact as gravity. And I'm willing to bet you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd stake my life on it." He smiles, dizzy and giddy and his heart sounds like thunder in his ears and if this is a dream, no, he never wants to wake up. He glances at the rings he's holding and his smile widens. "In fact, it looks like I already did stake my life on it once.

"So…will you?" he asks, his heart in his mouth. "Will you, Roxanne Ritchi, stand by an old villain while he tries to get his bearings? Will you wait for my heart to catch up with yours?"

Her lips pinch together as her eyes fill. "Will—will you, Megamind, be patient with me if I forget you aren't the man you were? Will you wait for me to come to love you for the man you are?"

"I will," he tells her, and now they're both crying, but…well, if they're already married, she's probably seen him cry before so it probably isn't that big of a deal. Wow. Wow.

She holds out her hand so he can put her rings on. "Then so will I," she whispers, and pulls him to his feet so she can kiss him again.

And. This time there are tongues involved. Megamind could get used to this.