It was a few days before Christmas. Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and Teddy were all out in London doing some last-minute shopping.
"Oh, what are we going to do? How do you buy gifts for people who have more money than anyone could dream of?" Hermione sighed, trying to figure out what to buy their newfound friends for presents.
"I think they'll appreciate anything we give them, to be honest. Maybe some muggle contraptions?" Ginny shrugged.
Harry who was pushing Teddy's stroller smiled smugly. "See this is why I thought ahead and had bought them all mobiles with our numbers already in the contacts. I made sure to put your number on speed dial for Draco, Hermione." Harry smirked.
Hermione rolled her eyes and punched him lightly on his arm but she was having a hard time hiding her smile.
"Oh! Look at her blush!" Ginny teased. "Speaking of Draco, how are you two? He looked like he was having a hard time saying goodbye to you after breakfast today." she waggled her eyebrows.
"No, he wasn't," she denied but the thought still made her feel giddy.
"Yes, he was and you looked like you didn't want him to leave," Harry grinned. "You know you can talk to us about this. We know you fancy him."
Hermione sighed before a grin took over her face. "Alright! He's just...different. He's sweet and pays attention when I get lost in my rants. He doesn't mind having some quiet time just reading in the library. He debates with me and doesn't concede easily just because he assumes I'm right. He genuinely wants to get to know me and cares about whatever I have to say."
"That's well and all, but on a serious note, have you actually opened up to him- you know, about the war- about everything? Has he opened up to you?" Harry asked pointedly as they stopped near a restaurant for some lunch.
Hermione stiffened. "No, actually. We seem to avoid any heavy topic unless we have to talk about it which is rare."
"Hermione you know you can't-"
"I know, but it just seems too soon," Hermione shook her head and walked into the restaurant, requesting a table for four and a high chair from the maître d'.
Ginny and Harry shared a concerned look before following her in.
After eating, the group continued walking down Oxford Street.
"I think I'll buy the boys a PlayStation and a couple of games to go with it. For Daphne and Pansy, I think I'll get them a few designer pieces– oh and there's a book I know Draco might find interesting-"
"Ooo," Harry and Ginny cooed.
"So Draco gets a special gift then?" Harry smirked.
"It's just a boo-" the words died on Hermione's lips when she caught a glimpse of someone in her peripheral vision. She turned her head but the figure was already gone and her head began pounding. Her steps faltered and Ginny caught her before she could lose her balance.
"Woah, Hermione, are you alright," Ginny asked worriedly.
"Yeah, just a little–" Hermione's words cut off as she suddenly passed out on the floor.
"Hermione! Hermione!" Harry panicked. Because they were in muggle London now surrounded by many patrons, they couldn't apparate to St. Mungos. Instead, they allowed people to call an ambulance.
The ambulance had arrived quickly and they were preparing to put Hermione on the stretcher.
"Take Teddy to Draco. I'll ride with Hermione in the ambulance so I could confund the paramedics and apparate us to St. Mungos," Harry whispered tersely.
Ginny nodded frantically and waited for the ambulance to drive off before rushing towards the closest apparition point.
Taking Teddy out of his stroller she murmured a quiet sorry and kissed him on the forehead before apparating back to Grimmauld Place. Kneeling in front of the fireplace, Ginny floo-called for Draco Malfoy.
"Ginny?" Draco said confused as soon as he answered.
"I need you to come get Teddy quickly!" she said frantically.
"Woah, Woah, calm down! Now take a deep breath and tell me what happened."
Ginny did as he said but she still looked distressed. "Harry, Hermione, and I brought Teddy out shopping in muggle London but after lunch we were just walking when Hermione fainted!"
"What?!" he blanched.
"We-we couldn't take her to St. Mungos straight away because of all the muggles so they called those muggle healers. Harry went with her to confund the healers so he could apparate to St. Mungos instead. I need someone to watch Teddy so I could meet them there!"
"Open up your floo, I'm coming with you," he demanded.
"I don't think-"
"Ginny, I'm coming with you. You could come through and leave Teddy here. He'll have Blaise, Theo, Pansy, and Daphne all here to watch him."
Ginny hesitated before nodding. "Oh alright."
Next thing she knew she found herself in their flat. She was too distracted to even look around or ask where they were. As soon as she had arrived she was bombarded with questions.
"Not now, you guys. We have to go." Ginny handed Teddy to Theo as Teddy seemed to take a liking to the dark-haired man who had the same nickname as him. She passed off the diaper bag and after Draco had taken her arm, they apparated to St. Mungos.
"Is Hermione Granger here?" Draco frantically asked the mediwitch at the front desk. The young blonde woman seemed wary of him.
"I'm sorry I don't think-"
"Just tell us where she is!" He yelled, pulling at his white-blond hair.
The woman gasped and was just about to call for the guards but Ginny quickly stepped up, shooting a quick glare at Draco.
"I apologize for my friend. He's just very worried. But could you please direct us to Hermione Granger this instant?"
At the mediwitch's still sceptical and untrusting expression, Ginny groaned. "Ugh, I'm Ginny Weasely, Harry Potter's girlfriend and Hermione Granger's best friend. Now, I demand you take us to Hermione this instant."
Draco would've laughed at the comical sight of the way her eyes bulged out but he was too worried about Hermione.
"C-certainly, Miss Weasely. But may I ask, are you sure you're safe? Is Mister Mal-"
"Don't finish that sentence," Ginny hissed. "Just do what you are asked. Now."
Draco's eyes widened in shock just as the embarrassed girl flushed.
"Ri-right this way." she began walking the opposite direction she was facing with Ginny and Draco close behind.
"Thanks, Gin," Draco said genuinely.
She nodded. "No thanks necessary."
The mediwitch lead them to a corridor where they found a frantically pacing Harry.
"Harry," Ginny called out as she rushed over to him.
Harry's shoulders slumped and he enveloped her in a bone-crushing hug, breathing in her comforting scent. When he finally peeked over her shoulder and saw Draco he furrowed his brows.
"Where's Teddy?"
Draco stepped forward. "At my flat being well-taken care of. How's Hermione? What the bloody hell happened?"
Harry ran a hand through his already unruly hair. "I-I don't know yet. As soon as I got here they took her into the room to do some spell diagnostics- wouldn't let me in. Wh-what if it's from some long term damage from the war?"
"Harry-" Ginny tried calming him but he wasn't listening.
"I-if something were to happen I don't know how I'd be able to live with myself-"
"Mister Potter," A healer called out, but Harry still wasn't listening.
"I can't lose Hermione. I just can't-"
"Harry!" Ginny cried out.
"What!"
"Mister Potter."
Harry swiftly turned around, almost losing his footing.
"Yes, that's me."
The healer, a middle-aged man with greying hair smiled kindly. "Nice to meet you, Mister Potter. I'm Healer Evans." Harry shook his outstretched hand and allowed him to continue. "Miss Granger is asleep but before you go in, I need to let you know, we've run some tests." At this, his smile faltered just lightly.
"What is it?" Draco asked worriedly.
The healer seemed to be taken aback by Draco's presence but his professionalism didn't allow him to quite express it.
"Um well, how much do you know about Miss Granger's erm...condition?"
"Condition?" Draco and Ginny asked at the same time.
Harry looked at the healer and he understood what condition he was talking about.
"Everything," he said hoarsely.
"Very well. Well, other than that, while we had been checking her over, she had briefly woken up during and explained that her head had begun pounding and that's when she lost consciousness so we brought in a mind healer."
"And what exactly did the mind healer find?" Ginny asked.
"That's the problem. At first, she found nothing but memories but then stumbled upon something. Are any of you familiar with legilimency and occlumency?"
Draco stepped forward. "I am." He was wringing his hands behind his back. When either comes into play, that's never a good sign.
"Very good! Then are you familiar with a strategy in occlumency where you put up barriers sort of like walls to block out memories?"
Draco nodded. He was brilliant at it, a master really.
Healer Evans pursed his lips. Everything in Harry and Draco's blood ran cold.
"What is it?" Draco asked lowly.
"It seems, while the mind healer was examining her mind they found a barrier. A barrier that seems to have been sealed shut. It couldn't be penetrated and we didn't bother trying too hard."
"What are you saying exactly? Why not?" Harry growled, becoming impatient with this healer's slow explanation.
"It means, Potter, that some of Hermione's memories are blocked."
"Correct. However, the bigger question is whether shes doing it unintentionally, purposely or..."
"Someone's put them up. Someone's blocked out her memories," Ginny who had been uncharacteristically quiet answered.
"Yes," he answered with an apologetic nod.
"Why is this such a weird thing?" Harry asked, growing more anxious by the second.
"Because Potter," Draco answered before Healer Evans could. "They're sealed shut. With occlumency, barriers aren't sealed. They're just barriers that can be taken down if you're strong and skilled enough. It already takes a lot of strength and skill to keep the barriers up but to seal up memories like that takes powerful strength and drains a significant amount of energy from one's magical core."
"Precisely."
"Well can't we just ask her?" Ginny furrowed her brows.
Healer Evans looked momentarily uncertain whether he wanted to answer her question.
"I'm afraid that not might be beneficial for her mind. There's a term muggle mind healers use called repressed memories. It's been said that memories associated with big and traumatic events may become subconsciously blocked to protect one's mentality. And for Miss Granger, it wouldn't be very surprising for this to happen all things considered. That being said, this sealed barrier may be one of those and to jump in and ask her about it when it's been blocked for who knows how long may cause more psychological trauma. It could do more damage than good because she'll try and force that barrier open to try and remember what you're asking her to.
"Things that could trigger her to remember whether they be sights, smells, sounds, or thoughts, could all crack that barrier. We're guessing that something had triggered her but she was forcing herself to remember at the same time, that's why her head began pounding and why she ended up fainting. It was all too much too soon."
Harry rubbed a hand down his tired face. "So how do we help her crack this barrier– as you say– safely."
"There are some potions-"
"No," Harry immediately said, shaking his head. "No. She has bad effects when it comes to potions that target the mind."
Draco furrowed his brows. He remembered Hermione mentioning sleeping draughts making her nightmares worsen. He didn't know it was much more than that.
The healer pursed his lips. "The only other way is through talking or as muggles call it, therapy."
Harry nodded. "Talking. Right. Well thank you Healer Evans. Is that all?"
Once again, Healer Evans nodded and smiled kindly, his eyes and the corners of his mouth crinkling. "Yes. You may go see her now. Now if you'll excuse me." The trio all murmured their thanks as he walked away.
Harry and Draco were just about to rush in there before Ginny pulled Harry back with a jolt.
"What is it, Gin?" Harry asked exasperatedly.
"Earlier, when we were out, we were telling her she needed to talk more to- I mean open up more. Do you think that's what caused this?" Her eyes flickered briefly to Draco when she caught her mistake. Thankfully, he was staring impatiently back and forth from them to the door.
Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I don't know, maybe? Let's talk about that later. First, we need to go check up on-"
Harry was cut off by Draco immediately turning and rushing into the room.
Draco pulled a seat next to Hermione's bed and gently picked up her hand, rubbing circles on the back of it. She still looked beautiful. She'll always look beautiful.
Brushing a hair away from her face he sighed. "Thank Merlin you're alright," he whispered. He didn't even care Harry and Ginny were watching him.
"Draco will take care of her. We need to talk," Ginny whispered.
Harry watched as Draco whispered to Hermione and caressed her cheek adoringly. He nodded.
"First off, what did Healer Evans mean by 'her condition'? What condition is he talking about?" Ginny's hands were on her hips, reminding Harry so much of Missus Weasely.
Harry rubbed his temples and sighed. "It's nothing life-threatening, but Hermione made me promise not to tell anyone. It's her secret to tell so please don't ask me. You know I can't and won't tell you. She will when she's ready."
Ginny stared at him for a few moments before nodding. "She needs to start opening up and I haven't a clue on how to get her to do that. While I understand some things like being at the end of Bellatrix wand and the battle, I don't understand the extent of everything she's been through as much as you or my brother do."
Harry leaned against the wall and rubbed his face. "She talks to me but she doesn't Ginny."
"Well, what does that mean?"
"It means, she talks to me about some things but not about what we went through. We have before- briefly- but its like because we went through every single thing together, very beginning until the very end, it's like we already understand each other and there isn't a need to talk anymore about it because it's easier to move on when we're not constantly reliving it.
"I think she needs to talk to someone who has no idea about any of it. Someone who has a different perspective. Someone who could help her cope better. We both saw the same things and it's hard to talk about it with each other sometimes because of the bias there. She needs to confide in someone who will see things differently. Talking to someone else won't make it feel ask if she's reliving the past but help her accept it's all happened. I'm learning to open up more because I have you and while Hermione and I will always be there for each other it's just...different. She needs to open up to someone who will accept her."
"Draco."
Harry nodded.
"Do you think she will?"
Harry sighed. "We just need to give them time. Give her time."
OoOoO
Hermione blinked her eyes several times to adjust to the light. She felt a weight on her hand and looked over. To her surprise, it wasn't Harry or Ginny but Draco Malfoy cradling her hand against his cheek as he slept. How long had she been out cold? Where are Harry and Ginny?
Judging by how numb her hand was, she hazard a guess that it had been a long time and she found she didn't quite mind not having her hand to herself.
Draco's cheek felt warm against her hand and she smiled. Even in his sleep, he looked anxious but still breathtaking nonetheless.
Hermione reached over with her free hand and tried smoothing out his furrowed forehead with the pad of her thumb. As if he knew it was her, Draco's features immediately relaxed and sighed in contentment.
The flutter in her stomach only increased and her breath hitched. He was so precious.
Hermione caressed her fingers softly against his cheek then down his jaw. Under her smooth fingers, she felt the prickly sensation of his stubble. She found that she liked the scratchy feeling and for a brief second, she wondered how it'd feel rubbing against other parts of her skin.
Feeling the heat in her cheeks Hermione quickly moved her hand from his jaw to her silky hair. She couldn't admit it, but she'd always wondered how his hair would feel gliding between her fingers as she combed through it- her fingers almost itched to do it and now she could.
Giving in to temptation, Hermione lightly combed through his hair. It was much softer than she imagined, almost like fine silk. It was soothing doing this and she found she quite liked doing it.
Hermione continued finger-combing through Draco's hair as she tried to recall what had happened. Her, Ginny, and Harry had taken Teddy out to muggle London for some Christmas shopping. They had been teasing her about buying Draco a book for Christmas when she saw a familiar figure in her peripheral vision. She was almost certain they had been watching her. When she turned to look they were gone and that's when the pounding in her head began. Now, all she knows is that she feels is lost and that bit of longing once again.
Growing up, Hermione had never been good at not knowing something and not knowing what exactly happened earlier and not knowing why she sometimes suddenly feels the way she feels was bothersome.
She was too lost in her thoughts and absent-mindedly running her fingers through Draco's hair she didn't notice even the slightest when he began stirring awake.
Draco woke up to the soothing feeling of someone running their hand through his hair and on occasion would scratch his scalp in way that made him want to pur.
Adjusting to the light then tilting his head slightly, noticing the crick in his neck, Draco saw the object of his deepest desires lost in thought, one hand cradled in his under his cheek and the other was buried in his hair.
His heart began pounding and he grinned to himself. Being the selfish person he was, he closed his eyes once more and relished in her attention.
Never in his life did Draco ever think he'd find himself in this position with her. In his dreams, most certainly, but he never ever believed his dream would become a reality.
The soothing ministrations were enough to make him lull him back to sleep but he knew he couldn't despite really wanting to. He heard the healer loud and clearly. Hermione needed to talk- to open up- and he desperately wanted her to open up to him.
It didn't escape his mind how she persistently tried to avoid talking about anything dark or heavy. He was the same, but he found he wanted to open up to her. He wanted to talk to her. While becoming vulnerable was not one of Draco Malfoy's repertoire, he found himself wanting to be vulnerable with Hermione and wanting her to be so with him. But it seemed like she had made it some unspoken rule not to bring it up unless they had to and Draco didn't want that. When he said he wanted to know all of her and for her to know all of him, he meant it.
Taking a deep breath, Draco sighed and squeezed Hermione's hand. Her hand in his hair instantly froze and she pulled away immediately when his eyes slipped open.
Draco felt almost empty without her touch and deeply missed it.
When he lifted his head to look at her he found that her cheeks were red and she was avoiding his gaze. He couldn't help the chuckle that slipped out his mouth.
Hermione's eyes snapped to him and reddened further under his amused expression. Of course she missed the way his eyes had shown in mirth and adoration.
"Don't be embarrassed," he murmured, letting go of the hand he had been cradling. He grabbed her chin between his finger and thumb and gently turned her head to face him but she was still avoiding his eyes.
"Look at me," he whispered. She hesitated but did so nonetheless.
Draco smiled and he allowed himself the pleasure of caressing her jaw with his thumb before pulling his hand away.
He knew she'd be even more embarrassed if he talked about what she had been caught doing so he let it go– for the meantime that is.
"You know, you gave me quite a scare earlier. Hearing Ginny in a fit of panic tell me you were in the hospital put me in a right state."
"Oh," was all Hermione could say as she watched him with wide eyes.
Up close, Draco could see the millions of gold flecks in her whisky eyes that he loved so much. He could count the freckles scattered across her button nose and the tinge of pink still in her cheeks. Not beautiful– bloody magnificent.
"Oh," Draco mimicked. "What happened?" he whispered, his expression turning serious.
Hermione looked down at her lap and bit her lip. It had always been hard for her to open up to anyone other than Ginny and Harry. They were familiar. They were her family. But for some inexplicable reason, she found that while she couldn't talk openly about some things to them, she wanted to with Draco. Of course, she was still reserved but she didn't get that niggling doubt whether or not she should be opening up to him. On the contrary, she found she wanted to be vulnerable with him she was just wary he wouldn't be able to understand and worried it was too soon to be talking about any of it. It was why she avoided heavy topics to begin with.
"Honestly? I really don't know. Do you ever get that feeling that something seems so...familiar?" At Draco's nod, she continued. "We were just spending some quality time out when I thought I saw someone familiar but before I could get a good look they were gone. Then suddenly, my head started hurting and that's all I could remember before everything went dark.
Draco hummed. "By familiar, in what way do you mean?" He had vowed to himself he'd get her to talk no matter how heavy the subject and this was a start.
Hermione furrowed her brows as she tried to think while Draco waited patiently.
"I-I think it was someone I knew. I had this feeling they were watching me."
This made Draco nervous. Who was watching her? Why were they watching her?
"I don't know if I'm crazy or if it's just me but I felt like I was supposed to know them but my subconscious was telling me I shouldn't."
Hermione and Draco didn't get a chance to finish their conversation as Harry and Ginny had walked right in with Healer Evans who did more diagnostics before discharging her.
OoOoO
After arriving back at Grimmauld Place, Hermione was surprised that Harry with his overprotected nature, didn't offer to walk her to her room and tuck her into bed. Instead, he volunteered Draco, much to everyone's surprise.
"Ginny and I need to go pick up Teddy and drop by the Burrow. We'll be back soon," Harry had said before giving her a kiss on the forehead. Ginny had then engulfed her into a big hug and promised to return before the couple disappeared into the green flames.
"Here, I'll walk you to your room," Draco said holding out his hand. He smiled to himself when Hermione didn't hesitate taking it.
Hermione settled herself under the covers of her bed as Draco grabbed her a glass of water. After placing it on the bedside table he took a seat on the bed next to her.
"You need to rest this mind of yours," he murmured, tapping her temple lightly.
Hermione giggled and Draco smiled.
"Will you be back tomorrow?" She asked mid-yawn.
Draco wondered if her tiredness was the reason for her candid question but he found himself not really caring. All that mattered was that she wanted to spend time with him.
"Try and stop me," he whispered.
Hermione smiled lazily as her eyes drifted shut. He waited until her body fully slumped before caressing her cheek and planting a lingering kiss on her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow, Hermione."
Draco didn't leave right away. Instead, he sat in one of the chairs in her room and read a book from one of her shelves. He read and waited until Ginny and Harry returned before going back to his flat but he'd never admit that he had spent the majority of his time watching her instead of reading like he appeared to be. It seemed all he could do was watch her.