We made it guys! We finally got to the romance! I know, I know, I've literally never ever posted another chapter so quickly. You have my friend, ALittleSpeckintheUniverse on AO3 (who wrote everything with Spock and Len) to thank for that XD. She was bored and just wanted to finish it today, and I agreed. So here it is! Not perfect because I only kinda looked it over when we were done writing it but it's fine. There will maybe be an epilogue, but for now I'm happy to leave it where it is. Enjoy!

The first thing that crawled back from unconsciousness was scent, and Jim's first thought was I'm in sick bay . Sadly enough, he'd woken up here enough times that he didn't even need to think about it. It was just an immediate fact. As his other senses gradually came back, increment by increment, the steady beeping and bed beneath his fingers only supported that thought. Hm, what had he done again? The memories were always the last to return in these situations.

He mentally went over what he knew already. Bones had probably pumped him up full of enough meds that he'd been asleep for a couple days, judging by previous experience, and there was nothing he could feel besides an annoying stiffness. If he was lucky, Bones wasn't too pissed (but if he was here in sick bay, he probably did something he shouldn't have), but he had to admit he… deserved any lecture after… after…

His heart stopped as the memories finally came flooding back completely. Thomas. The play. Karidian- no, Kodos. He'd known it was Kodos as soon as he'd seen the man's face. He'd invited him here, confronted and arrested him. Fuck, Spock had heard their conversation, and the first person he went to was probably-

Fuck .

He had to get away. The panic overrode anything else, and his eyes flashed open as he tried to sit up, but was forced to stop halfway when pain flared in his side. He couldn't help but hiss aloud as his hand went to the wound. Ah, he'd almost forgotten that part. He'd been stabbed, with a knife, and still went after his attacker, Kodos' daughter, anyway. Without backup. He probably would have been much worse off if Spock hadn't found him, which he was sure that Bones wouldn't hesitate to remind him of.

Well, he would be lucky if he didn't come out of this flayed alive.

Leonard jerked in the chair next to the bed, having evidently fallen asleep. His eyes roamed Jim for a moment before they widened and he shot out of the chair, moving to press a hand to Jim's chest, forcing him back onto the bed. "You stay put. You're not going anywhere any time soon, not with a wound like that," he told Jim sternly, frowning down at him, not yet moving his hand.

Jim huffed, not entirely happy with those words or being pushed back down, but admittedly it was a little relieving. Bones was treating him normally, it seemed. That was good. At least he didn't have to worry about him acting weirdly around him, now that he knew. But it didn't make all of those panicked thoughts just immediately disappear. He didn't make a move to get up again, but turned his head to meet the other's eyes.

"How long have I been out…?" he murmured, deciding to go with the easiest question first. He needed to be well enough to get out of this bed by the time they arrived back at Earth, so he could make sure everything was taken care of. He was assuming that's where they were going anyway, as Spock was the one in charge when he was out and he was fully aware who they had on their ship...

Having apparently decided that Jim wasn't going to get up, Leonard pulled his hand away. For a moment he said nothing, simply sighing and shaking his head as he walked over to his desk. He paused there, seeming to consider something before his gaze rose back up to Jim.

"Depends on if you consider the time you spent almost dying on my surgical table as "being out"," he snapped, though there was no real mirth behind his tone. He looked tired, bags under his eyes more pronounced than normal, a slight slump to his shoulders, and a telltale waver in his voice, "Two days without that, three with, give or take."

Ah, fuck. Of course he was pissed. He always was when Jim almost died (which was really far too often), but he had even more reason to be than normal this time, when it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal if he'd bothered to take care of himself. He was worried too, and it had been a long time since he'd seen him this upset. It really cemented how much he'd messed up this time.

"Look, Bones, I…" He cut himself off, hands going to his face as he sighed shakily. His low blood sugar at the time, as he hadn't eaten anything in days couldn't have helped either, but if he was lucky, then Bones didn't notice. Okay, that was a dumb thought, because he was an amazing doctor, so of course he did. This was a real mess, and he couldn't really apologize as he honestly didn't regret his actions. He did regret how they affected his best friend, though. "I know what I did was stupid… okay? I know. I knew when I did it. But I…" His voice broke then, and he went silent. There was no justification, he knew. Any attempt would just make this worse.

"Jim please, just," he sighed heavily, the sound wavering as he shook his head, "We'll talk about it once Spock gets here, alright? I doubt you want to have this conversation twice. We'll save you the trouble."

Leonard studied Jim for a moment longer before tearing his gaze away. The sound of the comm whistled through the cabin as he pressed the button. "Calling Mr. Spock," he told the computer, who helpfully connected him to the comm nearest to the Vulcan.

"This is Spock. Doctor, is Jim well?"

"Yes, Spock. He's woken up. If you can spare the time-"

"I shall be there in approximately three minutes. Spock out."

Jim had progressively gotten paler through the conversation. No, if this was about what he thought this was about, he wanted no part in this conversation. Ever. Whatever 'talk' needed all three of them certainly couldn't be good, could it? Especially after what had happened… what they knew now.

"What… what is there to talk about? There's nothing to talk about." He really didn't enjoy hearing how fast his heart rate sped up instead of simply feeling it. See, this was one of the reasons he really disliked being stuck in sick bay. Bones had forced a lot of conversations Jim didn't want because Jim couldn't leave once admitted. It was all to help him he knew, but he'd really rather not have this one. This time was too personal.

"Jim, you know that's not true," Leonard replied, stern but exhausted as he left his desk to return to the chair next to Jim's bed. Leonard slumped into it, head falling into his hands, elbows braced on his knees.

"Your heart tells me enough. Spock has also told me a decent amount. It'll be easier for all of us if you just cooperate," he paused to heave another sigh, "Please, Jim."

Jim's jaw set as he looked away, temper flaring slightly. He wasn't some child that had to be told to hold still for a hypo. Why couldn't they just respect when he didn't want to talk about something? He was a grown man, and a captain at that. But this time, it wasn't a problem he could just order away.

"There really doesn't need to be a big deal made out of this," he murmured. "He's in custody now and it won't be a problem again. Isn't that enough?"

"It's more than just him," came Leonard's voice after a moment, soft and tentative, "Jim, as your doctor, I need to know your full medical history. As your friend-" He paused for a moment, as if that word wasn't quite right. When no other word seemed to come to him, he continued, "As your friend, I'm worried for you and what you've been through. I want to know how I can help. I also want you to know that you don't have to carry this alone. You're not alone, Jim."

His entire body tensed. It was somewhat painful with his stab wound, but that wasn't even a blimp on his radar at the movement. He wasn't angry, not really, but the words came out almost if he was.

"Well, the records are gone and I can't make them come back," he snapped quickly, frowning as he looked anywhere but the other. "It was twenty years ago. A lifetime ago. No matter what happened then-" He took a sharp intake of breath, silent for a long moment before he spoke again. This time, his tone had lost all bluster, all volume- he was quiet, firm. "It was twenty years ago."

There was a long silence, only interrupted by the beeps of the medical equipment. Leonard seemed to attempt to begin speaking several times, only to stop when the words wouldn't be enough. After several more beeps, the doctor took a deep breath before he took his face out of his hands and focused on Jim once again. "And yet it still affects you today," he stated simply, "just like it did while we were in the academy. Just because something happened a long time ago doesn't mean it won't stop hurting a person. There isn't an expiration date for pain and trauma, Jim."

Jim's fists clenched by his side. It wasn't like he was wrong. He'd known since their academy days that Bones read him better than anyone else ever had. Hell, he was the first one to really try instead of just accept that it was just one of quirks he had. But some part of him still grinded against those words. Accepting what the other said, even at face value, went against everything he'd told himself for years. Sure, his mother and Frank started it with how they'd treated him after Tarsus, but it was Jim himself that tried to bury everything later.

What was there to say?

He said nothing, simply going silent. It wouldn't matter to try and argue this anyway, because soon it would be two against one… and Spock was the one that had heard the majority of, if not all of the confrontation against Kodos. Everything he'd done to keep this all a secret meant nothing now. It was stupid, trying to run away from it. It wasn't like he'd ever succeeded, in the first place.

The buzz of the doorbell broke the silence. Leonard jumped in his seat, cursing under his breath as he stood and crossed the room to let Spock in. Spock immediately crossed to the bed where Jim laid, intense gaze fixed upon the man. Leonard relocked the door before warily returning to his chair, eyeing Spock.

"Captain," Spock began as he fell into a relaxed stance, his hands behind his back, "I must admit that I am relieved to see that you are awake. The way that the Doctor was hovering constantly over your bedside led me to believe that you were in a dire condition."

"Spock!" Leonard balked, sitting up straight in the chair, "Jim didn't need to know that!"

Jim couldn't help the small, amused huff that left his lips at the words. His mood still wasn't the best, considering what he was fully aware was coming next, but it was a small reprieve he'd really needed at the moment. His… feelings for them aside, they were quite a pair and he'd always enjoyed watching them interact. He'd watched their conversations morph from… something vaguely hostile to playful banter. It had taken them a month less than he'd thought. (He still owed Scotty some alcohol from his good stash. Damn, he should know better than to make a bet with him anymore...)

"Thanks, Spock," he replied, amusement dripping from his tone. "I definitely needed to know that."

"It was pertinent information about the behavior of the Doctor," he agreed, inclining his head, "I believed that you would appreciate knowing about it."

Leonard made an indigent sound, his face slowly growing red. "So what if I did?" he asked, crossing his arms as he glared at Spock, "Maybe the fact that Spock commed me every hour, on the hour, for an update on your well-being is pertinent information too. If I didn't know him better, I'd say he was worried."

Spock's expression remained carefully impassive. "The status of my commanding officer is crucial, Doctor," he replied, eyebrow raised.

Leonard grinned as he leaned back in his chair, "Ah, your Vulcan pride just won't let you admit that you were worried. Luckily I know that particular pinch on your forehead when you're worried, so I can tell Jim with confidence that you were concerned."

Spock's only response to that was a half-hearted attempt to cover a sigh.

Jim actually laughed at that, though not much because doing so was painful. Since when did they become so close? It was strange he hadn't really noticed. He shoved the uncomfortable feelings he had about that down, immediately. It wasn't his business how they felt about one another.

"Perish the thought," he teased lightly, finally meeting Bones' eyes again. This almost felt… normal. He wondered what the new normal would be for them, after this, because it sure as hell wasn't going to be the same when they were done here.

"Ah, you're right," Leonard replied, smile softening as he met Jim's eyes, "He wouldn't know concern if it hit him between the eyes. Who am I kidding?"

Spock cleared his throat then, drawing Leonard's eyes back to him. "I," the Vulcan began, closing his eyes, seeming slightly hesitant, "I will admit that I have been concerned, since before you arrived under the Doctor's care for these past three days. Your behavior has been abnormal, Jim, not only in your actions as a captain. You avoided Leonard for several days before the incident. You missed our regular chess match. You have been distracted and irritable. I now know what the cause was. However, knowing has not eased my worry. Instead, I have found that my concern has increased. Jim, I..." He trailed off. For once, it seemed that Spock was at a loss for words.

Whenever he was expecting the conversation to happen, it certainly wasn't right now. The change was so sudden it caught him completely off guard. His eyes were wide for a moment before he looked away with a frown. He thought of Spock, at the very least, as a very close friend. He had for a while now. He was fairly sure Spock felt the same by this point, but it was one thing to be 'fairly sure' and quite another to have it confirmed so absolutely and completely. He never thought that the Vulcan would ever be comfortable enough to be so forthcoming about his own feelings in such a way, and he'd accepted that long ago. It was simply his culture. For him to put that aside for Jim… another strange, fuzzy feeling rose in his chest, that this time refused to be pushed down.

"I… knew you noticed," he admitted, eyes closing. "I was expecting you to ask me about it. You'd never hesitated to ask about something strange I was doing before. But I... You're right about the fact I was distracted. Didn't really think about it too much besides a passing thought." Most of his energy went into trying to seem normal and pushing down the nausea, along with planning for how he'd confront Kodos. He hadn't had anything left after all of that. "I knew Bones wouldn't offer me the same courtesy, though. If I hadn't avoided him, he would have seen there was something wrong immediately."

"You bet your ass I would have!" Leonard spoke up, any evidence of a smile washed clean from his face as he focused on Jim again, "This is why the three of us work better as a team, Jim. Spock's the brains, you're the brawn, I'm the heart. Well, we've all got a bit of all of that, but that's beside the point. We're a team, and we help each other out. If you'd've just talked to one of us, you wouldn't be sitting here in my care again and Kodos would still be on his way to prison. We're not here to judge you, Jim, just to help. And we're not just helping because we're your crewmembers and it's our job to."

"Leonard is right," Spock agreed, gaze settling on his friend and captain, "We are your friends. If you have taught me anything in our time together, Jim, it is that friends do not let friends suffer or act alone. Therefore, by your teaching, Leonard and I will not accept your acting alone in this anymore."

"Forgive the insubordination," Leonard added quickly to the end of Spock's words, a hint of a smile on the corners of his mouth as his gaze moved between the two, not settling as he waited for the next person to speak.

That warm feeling in his chest only increased, unsurprisingly. Somehow, both of them expressed their disapproval for what Jim had done (fair) without actually lecturing him, which was… strange. Bones had never held back before, and while what he said might count as a lecture to anyone else, it held nothing on any of his actual lectures. It felt like there was… more to this. There was something that came after this, wasn't there? Both of them were working up to something, but for the life of him, Jim couldn't figure out what.

"As far as I know, all rank went out the window the minute I woke up," he sighed. He couldn't be much of a Captain in this bed, anyway. "I… did think about telling you. Both of you. But honestly, what would I have even said? 'So the leader of this troupe of actors is a war criminal that's presume dead, which I'm sure of because I… knew him personally.'" His throat felt tight all of a sudden. "Really didn't know how I would do that." Would they have even believed him if he'd just said he'd known Karidian was Kodos and left it at that? Maybe.

"Don't think I don't trust you both. That was never a reason. It… It was all me." All his issues. If that drove them away, it wouldn't the first time someone had decided he was too much work.

"That's exactly what I said when you found out about my divorce," Leonard replied, gaze softening to something pained, "after I'd spent a year drinking and driving myself into the ground. Do you remember what you told me, Jim? That you wished I'd've told you the moment it happened? That you weren't leaving me alone in that hellhole anymore? And I told you that you shouldn't have to deal with me." He paused, huffing a self-deprecating laugh as he shook his head in disbelief, "You said that was bullshit, that we were in this together. Guess what, Jim? We're still in this together. You helped me through that, and now I'm gonna help you through this with Spock's help, because he's a part of our 'together' now," His tone left no room for argument. Spock simply inclined his head in agreement to Leonard's statement, gaze intense on Jim as they waited for his response.

"Well, of course I came and got you. Your mom called, you know, asked me to check up on you. She didn't know I'd already arranged a week's vacation to find you." He shook his head with a small smile. "Wasn't hard. But this is…" He sighed. Nope. It was best he didn't say what he was actually thinking. But that was different , because this was Bones, not Jim. But he knew neither of his friends would accept that response. Jim knew, because this would not be the first time he'd tried it.

"If you say 'different', Lord help me, Jim, I will-," Leonard began, leaning forward, though there was no real anger in his voice. Rather, exasperation shown through.

"I believe you missed the entire point of the Doctor's monologue, Jim," Spock interjected, moving around the bed to stand by Leonard's chair, "If the situations were reversed and he were in your place, you would desire to provide him with aid. We are proposing to aid you. You do not need us to aid you, but we are offering because we wish to help. We wish to be around you and for you to be at your optimal state. You indeed can reach that by yourself, but we believe that we have the capacity to support you so that you might reach that point in a more timely manner, should you desire to have us."

Jim was quiet for a moment as he worked through the words internally. It took him a moment longer than usual, but considering he was probably pumped full of drugs, that wasn't concerning. "I just…" He sighed, a hand going to his hair. Ugh, it was greasy, he couldn't wait to take a shower when he was out of here. "I just… I'm not really the kinda person to tell all my deepest darkest secrets and cry about it after, and…" He sighed again. "I don't know what you guys want me to do. I haven't even mentioned it to anyone since the day I walked out the hospital." His stepfather had made it clear he was never allowed to use it as a crutch, after all.

Leonard sighed, glancing back up at Spock, who gave a single nod. They both turned back to Jim as Bones began speaking again, "You don't have to tell us anything, Jim. I got an email from a Dr. Claire Maris. Spock's read it too. We know enough for you to lean on us if you need to. You just don't need to be alone with this anymore, alright? That's all we want."

Sharp, unwanted recognition sparked in his eyes at the name, and his jaw set once again as his face went pale. They knew . It wasn't just inferences and assumptions anymore. He didn't know what exactly she'd given them, as it couldn't be the medical records he'd deleted without a thought, but she was one of the only people who knew the entirety of what had happened to him on Tarsus. Whatever she had told them was more than accurate, and most likely , and he hated that fact. With that settled, confusion overwhelmed everything else. If they knew, why…

"I don't…" Now, it was his turn to be at a loss for words, wasn't it?

Spock and Leonard shared a long look before Spock turned back, resting a hand on Leonard's shoulder while he met Jim's eyes. "Jim," he began, tone soft, "What we have learned has not changed our opinion of you. You are still the man we know. We are still proud to call you our captain and friend. Our knowledge will simply make us more diligent in preventing situations that would bring rise to those memories."

"We'll also be able to better understand your moods, which'll let us help you, just like you drive people who really don't need to see me away from the sick bay when I'm having a bad day. You don't have to do anything or say anything, Jim. You're stuck with us and our help," he told Jim, offering him a smile.

Though that didn't clarify much, it was a comfort that at least there wasn't really anything they expected from him, at least now.

"Well, as funny as it is to watch ensigns run out of here like you'd set them on fire, it's really a pain when they're so scared of you I have to order them to go to the med bay for any sort of check or vaccination," he joked, trying to chase away those more than fond feelings still swirling in his chest. "I… I have to say this isn't what I expected you guys to say when you found out…" Well, he'd hoped they wouldn't have found out at all, but they likely knew that already… Besides, dancing around the subject like this was far more comfortable than actually talking about it. "Seems like I have no choice in the matter, though… but, I don't really mind that." He didn't realize how comforting that was until he'd said it.

Leonard's grin was sudden and bright. Even Spock's lips quirked at the admission. "That's good then!" Leonard told the room. Had he been standing, he would've been rocking back and forth on his heels in pleasure, "I'm glad we've got that sorted out. Now-"

"Now we discuss the other matter we have been meaning to talk to the Captain about, Leonard," Spock told him, squeezing the man's shoulder.

"Oh, right, umm," Leonard deflated a bit, and, if possible, he looked almost shy, "That would help with this too, wouldn't it?"

Spock looked to the ceiling in a moment of exasperation. "It would indeed, Doctor. Jim, Leonard and I have been speaking. We had been planning to discuss this with you at a later time, but the present seems as though it would be the most beneficial time to propose it." Spock looked to Leonard, who gave a nod. "You need not agree to this if you do not desire it."

"If you say no, we won't be offended! But, Jim, we've both taken quite the shining to you. Um, that is to say, I've been interested for a long time, but..."

"What the doctor is not so eloquently proposing is a relationship between the three of us, Jim, should you have us."

Jim was completely silent for a moment before groaning as his face turned bright red.

"Are you kidding me…" he spoke to himself quietly before shaking his head as he suddenly turned to Bones. "Are you kidding me!" he repeated. "We could have been dating this whole time?! I've had a crush on you since the academy! And you-" He turned to Spock this time. "Just when I thought I was set in that, you come along and…" He covered his face with his hands, and his voice was slightly muffled from them. "I'd be pretty dumb to say no when you two are all I've wanted for months now." This was a dream. This had to be a dream, right? There was no way he was this lucky in real life.

Leonard looked slightly dumbfounded before his grin became a beam. "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, we're idiots!" he proclaimed, laughing, "I've liked you since the academy too! God, I thought you weren't interested. I'm a fool!" His laughter continued as he reached out to rest a hand on Jim's arm.

Spock smiled without restraint at the two humans. "I am glad that we have come to an agreement," he told the two, fondness evident in his voice, "I look forward to witnessing our relationship progress."

"We're total idiots." Jim had removed his hands from his face by then, revealing his own wide grin as he placed one of his own hands on top of Bones'. "But luckily, Spock was rational enough to see through that, huh?" He shook his head, all those emotions finally spilling over. He couldn't remember ever being this happy in his entire life. A thought, a memory really, suddenly occurred to him, and he couldn't help the laughing (if painful) fit that came next.

"Oh god! How long has your mom been trying to set us up?" he asked Bones, memories of last Thanksgiving and not so subtle hints brought to the forefront of his mind. "You gotta call her tonight. Just don't tell her I'm hurt…Oh, by the way, Spock, you might want to just assume you're going to have plans for most holidays now. She always insists."

Leonard sobered slightly, though his grin remained. "Oh God, she's probably been trying since our academy days. Ma'll be over the moon. We can all call her tonight," he told the two decisively, "She'll be put out if she doesn't hear from you Jim, and she'll be mad if she doesn't get to meet Spock."

Spock looked dubious, but he nodded nonetheless. "It would be a pleasure to meet your mother, Leonard. My mother will certainly be pleased when I tell her. She is already fond of both of you, since she met you last."

Leonard turned his hand to lace his fingers in Jim's. "It's settled then. We'll call her tonight after my shift is over."

"Sounds good," Jim replied. That would at least keep him from getting too bored tonight. But that wasn't what mattered in the end. Looking between Spock and Bones, that warm feeling he'd been denying all this time swelled. Love.

For the first time in a long time, the anxiety finally drained from the back of his head, and his shoulders felt lighter than since he was twelve years old. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel as if he had to hide anything anymore. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel unlovable.

For the first time in a long time, James T. Kirk was finally happy.