A/N: Thanks you for clicking on my story!

If you've read my Secret Passages story, you know 18-year-old Elsa attempts suicide in chapter 23 after the parents' shipwreck. Here...what if Anna broke into Elsa's room herself instead of getting Gerda to help and discovered Elsa's powers then? So, diversion from canon in that Anna finds out about Elsa's magic three years before the coronation.

Also, depending on how fast time goes by in this timeline, OCs and plot points from my main Frozen timeline may or may not occur, with differences of course.:) And, obviously, Hans's actions will be different since Anna and Elsa will react differently by coronation time three years later.

On to the story!

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

Elsa could barely hear Anna's last question and quiet sigh, but it was clear enough to Elsa's sharp ears. She rested her forehead on her knees on top of her crossed arms. Yes, I do, but why did you ask me that, Anna? There's no snow on the ground outside. Just leave me alone. I wish I could leave and disappear forever. Anna could take care of Arendelle as long as someone helped her. She doesn't need me. I'm useless for anything and everything besides hurting the people I care about. I should just relieve everyone of the trouble and leave myself. Elsa found herself slipping off her gloves and holding a sharp shard of ice against her wrist.

I should at least tell Anna good-bye. I can do that. She doesn't need me-I hurt her. But I know she still cares. Elsa squeezed her hand into a fist. "Goodbye, Anna..." she whispered. Her terrified eyes darted around the room. I don't want Anna to be the one finding me. I'd hurt her more. Elsa felt more trapped than ever. Where could she go to die where Anna would not see her?

I don't know what to do. Go away, Anna. I can't let myself exist any longer. I'm just a danger to you. Elsa's fingers clenched around her makeshift weapon as she jerked it across her wrist. It didn't hurt at first, and somehow she felt disappointed that she was so numb right now. She deserved for it to hurt, because she had hurt Anna and her parents were dead.

Anna jumped to her feet on the other side of the door. She'd been talking to Elsa for awhile now, and that was the only thing she said? Elsa is depressed. She's going to-no. I'm not letting her do that! "Elsa! Don't you dare! You promised!" She banged on the door as hard as she could. "ELSA! Let me in!" she howled. "DO NOT DO ANYTHING! You PROMISED ME!"

Elsa retreated to the opposite corner and curled into a ball, silently waiting, silently letting the tears come, finally. The magic inside hurt. It sparked painfully in her chest, wanting its owner to let it out. Ice crackled beneath Elsa even as she struggled to hold it inside. It's taking so long. I want to go. Anna will be safe and I'll be nothing. I can end this finally.

But I did promise Anna. I did. I broke another promise. Elsa stared at her arm through tear-filled eyes and threw her shard of ice away from her. Red and purple streaked the ice around her, and it vaguely crossed Elsa's mind that she wasn't sure if the red on the ice was from her being scared or from blood.

Elsa was still just sitting there in a ball, her eyes now screwed shut, when she finally grew aware of someone near her. The loud incessant Anna-pounding on the door was gone. It was quiet. Too quiet. She didn't move. Maybe the someone would just finish her off. That would be okay. I can't even die right.

...you promised Anna. Elsa, you promised not to do this. Why? Why did you try anyway?

I hurt. I'm so tired of hurting and I don't want to hurt anyone again and I don't deserve to be here in the first place. Elsa put her hands over her face. Stop it. You'll get ice in the hall. If Anna sees- Elsa slumped to her side, feeling dizzy. A familiar voice nearby made her open her eyes again. Anna...? No I must be imagining things.

"So this is why you've been in here for so-Elsa! Elsa, no!" Anna gingerly picked her way through the rest of the maze of ice in the freezing room. There was Elsa in the corner, looking very small and tired, and here was the explanation for all the secrecy. Her big sister had ice magic, and she obviously couldn't control it. This was weird, very weird, but somehow Anna didn't feel all that surprised. Or disturbed. It explained everything. It even explained the cold drafts emanating from Elsa's room and Elsa's I'm dangerous, I can't be around you comments. She shivered. Do I get help or do I do something myself? Myself. Myself, I'm not leaving Elsa. I'm never leaving her again. I don't care what's weird or different about her. She still just needs help. Anna hesitantly bent to touch Elsa's shoulder, trying her best to ignore the puddle of blood beneath Elsa's arm. She's so cold. Almost too cold to touch...

The older girl flinched slightly but didn't really react. Anna bit her lip. Then another thought struck her, a blanket! I can put a blanket on her. Anna slid ungracefully over to Elsa's bed and yanked the comforter off. She wrapped it around Elsa's freezing body and just scooped her up. "I got you, Elsa," Anna whispered, tears filling her eyes. "I got you and I'm never letting you go again. I love you. I'm gonna keep you safe, even from yourself. I don't care about the ice, I don't care one bit." She struggled to her feet and carried her cold Elsa bundle awkwardly into the hall. I'm going to protect her, I don't care what it costs or if she's 'dangerous' or what, I don't care. Anna wondered if whatever strange abilities Elsa had were hurting her somehow, but something deep inside told her that probably wasn't the case, and that Elsa's issues had very little to do with her magical powers and everything to do with just her very normal human self. "You're going to be okay, Elsa. You're safe now," Anna whispered, thinking that she was also going to keep Elsa safe from herself if she was going to hurt herself, so there.

I don't know what's happening. Am I...dead already? Can I stay here in this dream forever? I feel like Anna is holding me and the ice isn't hurting and wanting out. Elsa's head drooped against Anna's shoulder. There was nothing to fight any longer. Staying in this weird limbo was not bad. She couldn't really move squished against Anna, but somehow she also just felt safe and peaceful. She was never ever peaceful. This felt peaceful. This was nice. Elsa stayed in the strange place between awake and unconscious for a long time. Someone gave her something sweet and chocolatey to drink awhile later, and she swallowed gratefully. The sense of safety and peace did not go away, and she was vaguely aware that someone loved her and wasn't going to leave her alone or throw her away or abandon her again.

Likewise the ice stayed oddly at ease and did not torment her any longer.

"-lsa...? Elsa, please say something. You're scaring me." Anna's voice sounded very far away. "I'm scared you won't wake up."

I don't want to wake up, that means I'm not dead and I will have to get away from Anna. I can't let myself hurt her again. Elsa clenched her fists, and the wound on her left wrist pulled and hurt. She kept her eyes closed, trying to go back to the happy place, but it was no good. This was real and she was not dead, and Anna was there.

Anna found me and she saw the ice, Elsa thought in horror. What have I done?! Elsa's blue eyes flew open and there was Anna sitting next to her and this wasn't her room it was Anna's and what if she lost control again and the ice, it might come out and it could hurt her little sister and she needed to get out of here. "I...I'm so sorry!" she blurted, and tried to get up, her gaze darting around the room in terror, her body shaking all over. Ice tingled in her fingertips and frost spread over the bed as Anna held her still. "Don't touch me! I d-don't want to hurt you!"

Anna reluctantly let go, and she felt like crying as she watched Elsa bolt out of bed and stumble to the opposite corner of the room, nearly tripping several times over things Anna had left all over the floor. Icy footsteps followed Elsa, and she stayed in the corner trembling, her eyes screwed shut as she spoke that stupid conceal don't feel phrase to herself. But she didn't leave the room. That's surprising and...good. "Elsa, it's all right, I promise. I'll stay over here if you want me to, okay?"

Elsa stared at Anna in surprise, her focus on the old mantra broken. She slowly nodded. Anna doesn't sound like she hates me. She did see the ice, didn't she?

"Can you maybe let out a little bit of ice on purpose? I wanna see your magic, and I sure have no idea how it works, but there was so much ice in your room. It must hurt to hold it all in." Anna paused, then added, "And I'll stay here if you don't want me close. Cross my heart." She looked perfectly calm and at ease mentioning Elsa's powers, and Elsa found this awfully confusing.

Why isn't Anna scared? She doesn't sound remotely disturbed at all. Elsa gulped. "I...why aren't you scared of me? Why didn't you just...let me die?" she whispered. I shouldn't even exist. Especially not this close to Anna. Elsa realized something else, to her great surprise. Anna knew nothing about Elsa's magic, but she knew that it hurt her to hold it in too much. Why did Anna know that? Why was she being so understanding? Why wasn't Anna looking at her differently? But no, Anna just stood there and acted concerned but otherwise like everything was normal.

"Because I love you," Anna said plainly, "and I don't want you to live in pain, or let you go and kill yourself, either. Look, I don't understand why you and Mom and Dad kept this a secret. But I know now, so please let me help." I'm not letting her go. Not ever. I'll question her about the magic later when she feels better, not now. "I love you, no matter what is so-called wrong with you or what you've done."

Elsa was silent, but she relaxed ever so slightly and took a baby step away from her corner. Anna's not lying to me. She doesn't care what's wrong with me. A tiny bit of the emotional pain that was always with her now faded, replaced with the knowledge that her little sister knew her secret and did not hate her for it. Anna loved her. The icy footsteps did not dissolve, but they melted to puddles instantly.

Anna smiled at Elsa's reaction. "There you go. Do you...how are you feeling now?" she asked hesitantly, unsure she wanted to know the answer even if Elsa was willing to talk. What if Elsa attempted that again? What if she still felt like doing it again? I don't want Elsa living like that. How much must she have been hurting to want to just...die?

Elsa's expression clearly said she was mulling it over, but she finally just said, "I don't know."

Anna sighed. Of course it won't be that easy to just...make her okay again. Elsa's traumatized and that's going to take time to heal. I know that. I just have to make her see that she's safe and loved, even if she makes mistakes. "What do you want me to do for you? To help you feel better? Can you answer that?"

Elsa turned away and looked down at the floor. "You c-can't fix me. I'm broken," she said softly. Nobody can fix me. Anna might love me, but she can't make the ice go away and she can't fix the rest of me, either.

Yes, she can. Elsa, she was holding you and you felt safe and at peace. The ice didn't even want out. You know that wasn't a dream. You just weren't completely conscious. "I...I'm sorry. I must sound horrible. I know now that y-you...rescued me. I think, I think you were holding me."

"Hey, it's okay. Well I mean obviously trying to...get rid of yourself like that isn't okay, but it's okay to not be okay." Anna paused, waiting for a response from Elsa, but Elsa just stared at her with those pained blue eyes and didn't answer. "What if I bundle up myself and then wrap you up in a blanket? Can I hug you then?"

Elsa hesitated but then shook her head. "I don't want to hurt you." I can't let Anna do that. Why on earth would she even want to?

Anna thought a minute and then grinned. "What if I get you the metal gauntlets from one of the suits of armor downstairs? Then can I give you a hug? I don't think holding your magic in helps you anyhow, and they're probably miles too big, but maybe those would help temporarily to make you feel better about being close to somebody else."

To Anna's surprise, Elsa's pale face lit up with delight, and she nodded. "I think that I would like that very much," she said. I know I can't go around wearing armor gauntlets, but I also know that would be safe. It's like a...not cruel and awful version of those metal shackles in the dungeon.

"Do you feel well enough to come downstairs with me? It's like, the middle of the night. Gerda helped me take care of you but then I told her to go to sleep. Cause I can stay up with you."

Elsa nodded again; her wrist and arm ached and stung quite a lot, but that she could easily deal with. Besides, she was eager to please Anna after breaking that promise. Going downstairs with Anna would please Anna. Promises were important. I have probably lost Anna's trust. I need to earn it back.

"...are you just saying yes because that's the response you think I want, or are you really feeling all right?" Anna questioned carefully. Something deep inside her warned that Elsa could probably easily be manipulated right now because she just wanted her family to approve of her and care for her, no matter how much she tried to stay away. With their parents gone and Anna knowing her secret, Elsa was probably desperate to not chase Anna away.

"...My wrist hurts, but I'm all right, I think," Elsa clarified, trying her best to be honest. She bit her lip hard when Anna scowled. "I'm sorry-I don't know how to explain..."

"Elsa, you don't have to apologize for that," Anna said firmly. "The only thing you owe me an apology for is breaking your promise. Nothing else."

"I didn't warn them about the storm-I was selfish, it's my fault Mom and Dad are dead!" Elsa blurted. Now Anna will probably hate me. She shouldn't be so nice, I don't understand. I can't even go away now. Why did I promise Anna that? No. Stop it. I'm glad Anna saved me. Maybe I can have another chance.

You don't deserve it.

No, but I have one all the same.

"But Elsa, you know they wouldn't have listened to you. It wouldn't have made any difference. Look, I love our parents, and I know you do too, but you've got to see that...that making you feel like this isn't okay." Anna moved closer to her, and she was glad Elsa didn't back up.

"They had to protect you from...this," Elsa said in disgust as she pointed at herself. "Mom and Dad didn't make me feel this way. It's just..." she trailed off and stared out Anna's window. I could have been allowed to trade notes with Anna under my door. I could have been encouraged to talk to her through the door, a little voice told her. We could have been doing that since we were little instead of being scolded for it.

Anna's voice was gentle but firm when she replied. "You're not a this, Elsa. You're still just Princess Elsa, heir to Arendelle's throne and my big sister. That weird magic you're so scared of doesn't matter to me. It's pretty amazing, actually. I just don't understand why it was such a big secret. Or why I don't have magic too! Did we have a horrible accident or something when we were little? Or is the magic itself, like, slowly...killing you or something and being around people makes you sick?"

"Yes," Elsa said simply, her voice shaky. Anna is smart, smarter than she realizes.

"Which one?" It must be the first...

Elsa gave Anna a tiny hint of a smile before running out of the room and down the hall to her own room. Then she stopped short in the doorway. Much of the ice had simply vanished. There were still jagged icicles in a few places, but the corner where Anna had found her was completely thawed, and the ice grew thicker the farther away from the corner it was. Anna did that? Does Anna have magic too? Or did she... "She fixes me," Elsa whispered. The ice should have been the worst where she herself had been, and yet it was the opposite.

"Hey, it looks like you thawed most of it, Elsa! Good job," Anna praised from behind her, peeking over Elsa's shoulder. Elsa shook her head and began writing her explanation for Anna's previous two questions on a piece of paper at her desk. Anna tiptoed around the room, fascinated with her sister's magic and the fact that Elsa's room-aside from the icy mess-was completely neat with nothing out of place. The candle on Elsa's desk cast a flickering sheen on the ice, and Anna thought it was pretty.

Elsa stood up and hesitantly held her paper out to Anna awhile later. Please understand. I could explain it on paper, but no way could I explain verbally. She clasped her hands behind her back as she watched Anna light the kerosene lamp on the nightstand and start reading.

'Anna, I'm sorry. I can't talk about this, so I wrote it. You are right. We did have an accident when we were small. We used to play with my powers in the ballroom. When we were 8 and 5, you woke me up to play because you saw the northern lights. We went downstairs to play like always, but...something happened. I was making snow piles for you to jump on, and they were just getting taller and you were jumping faster and I couldn't keep up. I missed and I hit you in the head. The rock trolls healed you, but they had to take your memories of my powers away. I'm so sorry. I'll understand if you hate me now.' Anna glanced up at Elsa and touched her own white streak in her red hair. "That's how I got my white streak!" she exclaimed. "Cool. It really is like it's having part of you with me all the time." Except, how can Elsa think I'd hate her for that?! We were little kids. Sounds like just an unfortunate accident.

Elsa was incredulous at that reaction, but she immediately relaxed. Anna knew the worst thing she had done and still she didn't seem to care. Elsa did not understand that, but it did make her feel much more at ease. There's nothing else I can tell Anna that would chase her away. She just stood there with her hands clasped behind her back, waiting for Anna to finish reading.

'As for your other question, yes in the sense that it's killing me inside. It makes me feel sick that I can't be the sister you deserve, or the daughter Mom and Dad deserved. I have missed you so much. I'm so tired of this. It is not literally killing me, although you were right: it does hurt to hold it inside all the time. If I could get the magic out of me somehow, I would. I hate it.' Anna hesitantly looked up at Elsa when she finished reading. "You should not hate it. It sounds like little us just had a horrible accident. ONCE. How did an accident turn into you being...isolated in here for years? I don't get it," she said, clearly puzzled. She was just a little kid! Same as me. I mean, we fell and got hurt loads of times before...this. Does this mean poor Elsa basically got permanently punished for an accident? No wonder she's all sad and frightened and...hurting. "That's not right, and it isn't fair! Why weren't you taught to use your magical abilities better, or, you know, if nothing was working, just remove them so you'd be okay again? You are sick, Elsa. Even I can see that. You're hurting and struggling to live. What you did to yourself just proves that!"

"...Can't you see I'm just a lit fuse ready to...to explode? I'm dangerous," came Elsa's quiet reply. "I hurt you!" Anna is crazy! She is acting like I'm just a normal girl, and I'm not. "And...I can't have it...removed. I wish I could, but it's part of me. I'm stuck with it," she said quietly. "I'm sorry I am like this..."

"You're not dangerous. You had an accident ten years ago when we were eight and five. And then you and our parents decided it was a peachy idea to make all of that magic stay in. With that conceal don't feel nonsense." Anna took a few steps closer to Elsa, and the older girl flinched and backed up a few steps. "Elsa...I know you're scared of hurting people, but what if you knew you could let the magical ice out on purpose without hurting anyone? Wouldn't that, like, make the pressure of keeping it inside less?"

"I can't control it!"

"Maybe you can't control it now because there's so much inside you that it leaks out. Like if you fill up a bottle too far, it overflows. You've been bottling up magic ice and storing it up for ages, right? Must be an awful awful lot!" Anna's face lit up when Elsa actually moved a tiny bit closer and her tense shoulders seemed to relax a little. Not a lot, but still. Elsa already seems better. She still looks sad, but she's not all terrified anymore.

"Why...why does that actually make sense...?" Elsa darted over to her dresser, yanked the drawer full of gloves open, and tugged a second pair on over the ones she was already wearing. Then she pulled the heaviest blanket off the top shelf in her closet and wrapped herself up in it. She hesitantly edged closer to Anna. Surely with her extra precautions it would be okay. The ice was not agitated at the moment; she wouldn't explode and hurt her baby sister.

Anna smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, Elsa. I'm right here whenever you're ready and now that I know your secret, I can help." I might not remember anything about Elsa's magic, but I'm SURE that being isolated in her room made everything worse for her, not better. That I do know. And... "Hey, isn't it sort of linked to your emotions somehow?"

A silent nod.

Anna moved a bit closer within an arm's length of Elsa. The older girl stiffened and eyed Anna warily. "And the magic ice stays in better when you're feeling better? You don't look happy now, but you don't seem so scared anymore, and I don't see any more ice coming out, even if you're all tense and staring like a wild cat." She hesitated before adding, "I think you need some fun, nice things to distract you. Or something."

Elsa was looking down at the floor now, clutching the blanket she had wrapped around herself. I should make Anna go away. I'm not doing what Mom and Dad always told me I should do. That's bad. I shouldn't be happy. They are gone and not me. But...Anna is being so nice to me. She knows what's wrong with me, she knows what I did, and she's still not leaving me. She cringed away from Anna when she felt a gentle touch on her shoulder, but she couldn't bring herself to make Anna leave, even if she felt like it was awfully selfish to let her stay. Anna just being there made her feel more like a normal girl; it was like Anna didn't even see everything wrong with her or else didn't care. "You shouldn't touch me," she said finally.

"I don't care if your magic makes you dangerous 'til we figure out how to help you control and use it properly. I love you just the way you are." Anna resisted the urge to just give Elsa a hug. That would probably chase her away all over again.

I can't do that. I wouldn't be doing what our parents wanted me to do, and they're gone! That's disrespectful. "You need to leave me be and go back to your room," Elsa said after a moment. But...I don't want her to leave! Anna helps. I don't feel so lonely with Anna nearby. I don't feel so...horrible with Anna here.

"I'm not going to leave you for a second right now! I don't trust you to not...hurt yourself again. So no. Besides, why are you saying that anyhow? Obviously you don't want to be alone." Anna watched Elsa just curl up in a ball as small as possible on her bed. It struck her that Elsa probably lay there like that often by herself, listening through the door.

Elsa didn't answer, but she also did not try to make Anna leave again. She felt exhausted and mostly she just wanted everything to stop hurting. And she missed their parents, however much she had struggled unsuccessfully to be good enough. There was a tiny part of her now that wondered will everything be okay now since Anna found out? That tiny bit of hope, usually stuffed down to nothing, felt stronger now. Elsa still had the uncomfortable feeling of too much magic inside her as she always did, but it wasn't overwhelming her now, either. Like Anna had mentioned the idea of the bottle being full to bursting, Elsa felt more like her 'bottle' cap was just able to screw on rather than needing all her willpower and strength to just hold it on the top and still leaking ice out. "I think...I think you are right," she whispered finally.

"Good. Um, about which part?" Anna sat on the edge of Elsa's bed, close but not too close.

Elsa instantly scooted over to the opposite edge of her bed. "The...it...it...leaking out because it...wants out because there...there is too much inside," she said hesitantly; then cringed as if Anna would scold her for expressing that. Stop it, Elsa. Conceal, don't feel.

But Anna doesn't mind...me. She won't leave.

You can't risk hurting her. And how do you know she won't? She could change her mind. Why should she even want to stay with you?

I trust her. Elsa scrunched her eyes shut.

"Hey, you don't need to be scared of how I might react, all right? Let the magic out if it wants out. I could even go out in the hall while you do it if you're still scared of hurting me. I'm sure Mom and Dad didn't mean for you to be hurting like this. They were just kind of dumb and...and somehow didn't realize it." Anna did not try to touch tense, frightened Elsa, but she did move a little closer.

"Don't call Mom and Dad dumb!" Elsa protested. "They were just trying to protect you."

Anna sighed. "Leaving you like this is dumb. I'm younger than you and I can see you aren't okay. Mom and Dad are-were-grownups supposed to love and take care of us. That's why they're dumb! I can say that and still love them." She hesitated before gently patting Elsa's shoulder. Elsa flinched again but didn't say Don't touch me. "Did you ever try something besides just that ridiculous conceal don't feel stuff? Cause obviously it doesn't work."

Elsa shook her head. "I...I just wanted to make them happy. But I...I'm...never good enough. Never. I can't do it right. And...and I didn't want...w-want...to let him know...that I..." Elsa's shaky voice broke and she curled into a tighter ball, her fingers squeezing her injured wrist. Stop it. I can't tell Anna that. She shouldn't listen and-

But Anna loves you. She won't think badly or hate you for being...broken. Hasn't she shown that already?

I don't want to hurt her!

Is that all, or are you just scared of Anna seeing what you really are?

Anna couldn't stop herself any longer; she reached for Elsa and just held her close, ignoring the bitter cold and Elsa's protests that Anna not do that. "You're not going to hurt me, and if you do, we will go see the funny rock trolls you wrote about," she said firmly. "Also. Elsa, just look. The magic mess you're making right now isn't dangerous. It's a bunch of snowflakes and soft snow. No sharp poky icicles or anything like that."

Elsa instinctively jerked away from the unfamiliar safety of Anna's arms, unwilling to risk hurting her. Anna is right, though. Soft powdery snow covered the entire bed and part of the floor, and fat snowflakes floated around her, but no ice was leaking out. And instead of scolding her about the mess she had made, Anna just looked curiously at her and smiled. Elsa stayed quiet, but she smiled back a tiny bit. Thank you, Anna. I know it's selfish, but I...I'm almost happy right now. You know what's wrong with me and you still love me just the same. That...makes me think maybe things can be different. Maybe.

The snowflakes stopped falling, and although Elsa couldn't feel it-yet-the temperature rose as well. Her blue eyes stared at Anna in wonder. "They...they are gone," she whispered.

Anna nodded. "They went away when you smiled, Elsa," she said quietly. She has to be happy to be able to control it. Probably at least sort of calm too. "Go back to sleep. I won't leave you alone ever again. I promise."

A/N: So...how will this change the timeline in the future? Maybe Hans's plans will fail before they begin. Maybe the sisters will figure out what happened to their parents sooner. Maybe Jade will act differently. Maybe Elsa will find out about the League of Seven sooner. (I will not be keeping every plot point from previous stories for obvious reasons lol:)) Obviously Anna is already working on cracking the key for Elsa being able to control her powers, so there will be no panicky power mistake at the coronation party three years from now. What will happen in this three years compared to original Secret Passages?

Here Elsa will get (a lot) of extra time to handle her magic with Anna's help compared to canon timeline Elsa. She still obviously needs help with her own non-magical issues, but now Anna knows why Elsa is the way she is, so Anna can actually help her.

Also, to anyone reading League of Seven, the next chapter is ALMOST ready, I am editing it:)

Next chapter coming soon:)