a/n: Ok, so first, thank you so much for everyone who has supported this story! I am astounded by how many people stuck with it. It was supposed to be done long before right now. It's only four chapters, and it took me this long. Gah. I am ashamed. Second, thank you for your patience, and I hope that this ending doesn't disappoint! Third, this is unedited, and I'm sure Rose doesn't have a dog, but that's ok, this is ffn, we'll pretend. Please let me know what you think. ❤️

Ch 04 || Release

"Marinette. Marinette. Girl, what's with you?"

Marinette blinked, Alya's words finally reaching her. She glanced up at her best friend, and judging by her exasperated expression, Marinette was sure that zoning out while Alya had been talking wasn't very polite.

"Sorry," she murmured as sincerely as she could muster, offering an apologetic smile.

Alya's brows shot up quizzically. "What's up? That's not the first time you've blanked out on me today."

She shrugged, not pausing in her steps. In her hands was a pastel pink paper bag which contained a handmade gift, something she'd designed herself. They'd been invited to Rose's birthday party, and were heading toward her house. It started in a less than fifteen minutes, but Marinette wasn't worried. They weren't that far away.

"Guess I've been distracted."

"I thought you'd be ecstatic," Alya said teasingly, nudging her in the ribs. "Nino said Adrien got permission from his dad to come tonight. Which means he'll be there! Why aren't you jumping around? You could make your move."

A soft, fond smile touched Marinette's lips, but it didn't threaten to expand into dreamy, nervous laughter the way it normally would have when Adrien was mentioned. Her gaze drifted skyward, fingers lacing together. "Maybe."

"Oh, girl." Alya stopped walking, a hand coming to rest on her shoulder. "C'mon. Spill."

"Hmm?"

"Don't 'hmm?' me." She narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"There's nothing to spill," Marinette said with another casual lift of her shoulders. "I'm just tired."

"You've been tired every time we talk about something like this," Alya countered.

"Can't you just consider the possibility that I'm actually tired?"

The look on Alya's face was enough to tell her she wasn't convinced. Despite being unable to tell her best friend what was truly on her mind, it was a little comforting to know that underneath that curious exterior, Alya was worried.

"Maybe you should focus on the fact that Nino will be there," she said, hoping for a change of subject.

Her words had the desired effect. Alya rolled her eyes, but the light pink dusted her cheeks gave her away. Alya was all cool and collected around him—the opposite of Marinette when she was around Adrien—but it was obvious, at least to Marinette, that she cared deeply for him.

Alya began to chat animatedly about Rose's party again, but it was nothing she hadn't heard before. And once again, Marinette was quick to descend into her own thoughts which she'd fruitlessly tried to ignore. Thoughts that ate her up all night, and then again throughout the school day.

Thoughts which included a certain black cat superhero whom she would meet with again in three hours time for patrol.

Marinette had a sinking feeling that it was going to be the same as their last few patrols. Quick, but distant, and full of tension. A familiar, unpleasant ache came to life in her chest, like a wound that kept reopening. It wouldn't fully heal until she and Chat tore down this wall that had somehow been constructed itself between them.

She wanted to fix this. Wanted him to trust her again. Wanted him to open up to her. Wanted a chance. She didn't know how or where to start.

Marinette stayed mostly inside her head until they arrived to Rose's place, offering the occasional hum of agreement and "oh, girl, I know" just to keep Alya's pressing questions at bay. By the time they reached the door, Marinette was surprised to hear a lively chatter on the other side. It seemed like most of the guests had already arrived.

"Oh! Marinette, Alya! Come in, come in," Rose squealed excitedly, ushering them inside without hesitation.

"Happy birthday," Alya gushed, grinning wide.

A pleased blush dusted Rose's cheeks. Somewhat thankful for the distraction, Marinette followed behind Alya. Rose's house wasn't big, but it wasn't small, either. She could see Juleka. Kim. Alix. A glance to her left showed her that Max, Ivan, and Mylène were here, too. She blinked in confusion. Where were Nino and Adrien?

"Happy birthday, Rose," she echoed politely, before presenting the bag in her hand with as wide of a smile as she could manage. She had a feeling she was failing miserably. "Where should I put this?"

Whether Rose picked up on her inner turmoil or not, Marinette couldn't tell because Rose's eyes lit up with glee and she threw her arms around her in a thank-you hug, and when she pulled away she pointed to the table decorated with pink on the other side of the room. "Over there!"

Marinette nodded, already on her way to said table. "Do you know where—?"

Alya already had her phone out, following to place her own gift with the others. "Nino's on his way. He says Adrien is running a little late, but he'll be here." And then: "Hey, why do you look so down? Rose will love that cardigan you made her. She's been wanting one to match her dress for weeks."

She offered a soft, fond smile. Right. She was here to have fun. She couldn't let her thoughts drag her down, not until the party was over. "Thanks, Alya. But... shhh, keep your voice down! She'll hear you. Then the surprise will be ruined."

"She's already sitting with Juleka," Alya said, rolling her eyes.

Alya quickly became absorbed in her phone, and Marinette scanned the crowd once again. Next to her hip, she felt a subtle poke. Tikki was in her purse like always, and the warmth that radiated from her kwami through the fabric was comforting.

Something soft collided with her ankle. Marinette blinked, jolting in surprise.

"Aww, cute," Alya cooed suddenly, kneeling down to the floor. "I didn't know Rose had a dog."

Marinette hadn't, either. It looked fairly young, maybe three or four months old, with a shiny pale white coat and a fluffy tail. It was hiding under the table, it seemed, peering up at Alya and Marinette with curious eyes.

"Rose said she just got him a few weeks ago," came a familiar voice. Nino. Marinette had been so distracted by the dog that she hadn't noticed he'd arrived. "I bet he's nervous around all these people. Aren't you, little dude?"

He knelt down on the other side of the dog, holding out a hand experimentally. The dog sniffed his fingers, before retreating back under the table.

"That answers that question," Alya said, each word tinged with laughter.

She and Nino stood again, and Nino said, "I can't wait to try the cake. It came from your parents' bakery, right?"

It took several moments for Marinette to register that the question had been directed toward her. "Oh, right! Yes. Yes it did." Rose's parents had come to pick up right after she got home from school. "Be sure to tell me what you think. Papa always likes hearing what others have to say about his work."

"For sure, dude," Nino said, tilting his cap down a little as if to solidify his promise.

"The party's about to start," Marinette murmured. "Is Adrien almost here?"

"There it is," Alya said teasingly. "I knew you were going to be excited about it sooner or later."

Marinette frowned, trying to ignore the way her cheeks burned. "I'm just worried something happened."

Nino was looking down at his phone. "He says he's a few minutes away. Got held up by his dad."

She hummed, still worried. But a few minutes passed, and just like Nino had said, Adrien was being let in by an ecstatic Rose, who then announced that that was everyone who had promised to be here.

She'd invited everyone in their class, but Chloé and Sabrina unsurprisingly didn't show. While the old Marinette would have rolled her eyes and scoffed, she knew Chloé wasn't all bad, and Sabrina was only following after her best friend.

All thoughts of the two were soon swept aside as the party began. It passed in a blur, with games, food, and the opening of gifts. It was loud, but that was to be expected from a room full of teenagers. Rose's parents seemed welcoming enough, taking everything in a stride, all the noise and chaos. Finally, Marinette retreated back to the table, watching with affection as Rose started to cut the birthday cake.

She nearly jumped out her skin again in surprise when a familiar blond boy came by to join her. "Hey, Marinette."

"O-oh! Adrien hey. I mean, hey, Adrien." She grinned as wide as she could, and then toned it down a notch when she thought maybe that was overkill. But the grin slipped from her face when she saw the dark rings shadowing his eyes. There was something achingly familiar about the cryptic expression on his face. "Are... are you alright?"

"Hmm? Of course." He flashed a smile—his Model Smile, as Nino had dubbed it—and suspicion chewed at the bottom of her stomach. "I'm glad I got to come."

Her expression softened. "I'm glad, too." Oh, goodness, was that too much? Did that come off as weird? She hurried to fix it: "I—I mean, that you came. I thought you wouldn't because you were late, but I'm still glad you made it! 'Cause you're my friend. Your company is perfect. I mean! Enjoyable. Erm. I—"

Adrien's laugh was gentle, but genuine. "Thanks, Marinette."

But the whisper of mystery in his eyes remained. The suspicion chewed harder. Deeper. "What's wrong? You look like you haven't slept."

Adrien ran a hand through his hair. "Is it obvious?"

"Kind of, yeah," she said without thinking. "Erm, I mean, you don't look terrible. You never look terrible! You just—"

Darn it. She was digging her own grave, like always.

"I'm sorry," she said eventually, faintly. "I was just worried."

"I should say the same for you," he said suddenly. "We both look like we need a nap, don't we?"

Marinette giggled, although it sounded hollow and strange even to her own ears. Tikki moved again in her purse, as if sensing she was uneasy. Carefully, Marinette said, "Is there something on your mind?"

Adrien's gaze drifted to where Rose and her parents were, vigilantly weaving through the crowd of teenagers, making sure not to make a mess as they handed out piece after piece of cake. It wasn't long before his entire expression became undecipherable, the smile fading quickly. "Do you know what it's like to humiliate yourself in front of someone you care about?"

Adrien was asking her that? She humiliated herself in front of him almost on a daily basis. She was a babbling, clumsy mess around him.

"All too well," she muttered.

"I... I embarrassed myself in front of her," he confessed softly, releasing a slow, quiet breath as he spoke. "More than once. I guess I can't stop thinking about it. It kept me up all night."

Marinette tried very hard to ignore the sting in her chest upon hearing the word her. He'd embarrassed himself in front of a girl. Was she someone he liked? Already it felt like something was sinking inside her. Deeper. Deeper.

"What about you?" he asked, looking directly into her eyes. "What kept you up?"

Marinette opened her mouth, but no words came out. It was too easy to get lost in those eyes, beautiful but so, so sad. She struggled to find her voice, and when she did, it was croaky. Fragile. "I have this friend. I'm worried about them."

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hmm," she said, before looking away. She couldn't handle the intensity of his gaze. "I think I upset him. Now... now things are weird between us."

"You? Upset someone?" That spark of laughter, of life, was back in his voice. "I can't imagine you upsetting someone." Then, with a bittersweet smile: "Maybe you should talk to him."

"Maybe," she said faintly. "Maybe you should talk to your own friend. Maybe it's not as bad as you think it is."

"Maybe," he echoed, his smile widening a fraction. "Thanks, Mari—ahh!"

Marinette was startled when he put a few feet of distance between them, and she flushed hotly when she realized how close they had been, but the sensation was gone quickly when she saw the look of horror etched across his features. Her eyes widened in confusion and—

Oh. The dog had come out from under the table. He was eyeing Adrien—or, rather, Adrien's shirt, with intense interest, as if there was something in his pocket that he wanted.

A low growl emitted from the pup, and Adrien immediately circled around. Suddenly he was behind her, and his hands were resting on her shoulders.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," a voice said abruptly, and it was then that Marinette realized Adrien's startled yelp had captured the attention of most of the guests at the party. Rose's mother was walking toward them, two plates of cake in her hand, and she set them on the table so she could help put some distance between the dog and the two teens.

"He's usually very quiet," Rose's mother persisted, gently taking hold of the pup's collar. "Rose, honey, I'm going to put him in your room for a little while, if that's ok? I'll be right back."

Rose squeaked something in reply, and then her mother was off, cooing at the animal who still looked very intrigued by Adrien's presence. But Marinette's focus was solely fixed on Adrien's fingers.

His fingers which were attached to hands.

Hands which were touching her shoulders.

"Um—" She tried to think of something to say, to do, other than blush and stutter like an idiot. "A-Adrien—"

"Sorry! Sorry," Adrien repeated quickly, but only released her when the dog was out of sight. "He... he startled me."

"Are you ok, dude?" Nino was abruptly next to them, open concern written all over his face.

Marinette's gaze met Adrien's for a second time, and her heart squeezed when she caught the deep, primal fear glistening in Adrien's eyes. It was an expression that was hauntingly familiar. Too familiar. It was the same look that weighed heavy on her conscious, dragging her down, down, down, for weeks.

All she could think was, Chat.

"I'm fine," he said, although the words came out breathlessly. "I guess he startled me. I didn't know there was a dog here."

"I'm sorry, Adrien," Rose said, crestfallen. "He usually doesn't growl like that! He's very peaceful."

"It's fine. Really! I'm good." Now he looked nervous, but was quick to paint on that Model Smile. Wider. Wider. "The cake looks amazing."

And just like that, the subject was dropped. Rose was quick to give the credit to Marinette's parents, to which she offered a wobbly smile.

Rose's mother reentered the room, and the party resumed like normal. Alya winked at Marinette suggestively, and at any other moment, she probably would have struggled not to melt into a pile of goo because wow Adrien had been so close and she'd managed to actually talk to him—

But that look on his face lingered in her mind, even as everyone shared laughter and grins. She felt a nudge by her hip. Tikki. Marinette gave her purse a subtle, gentle pat, trying her best to dispel the lost feeling that settled deep within her.

She couldn't. Everyone was having such a good time.

Marinette was screaming inside.

Marinette checked the time, only to find out that only a minute had passed since the last time she'd done so. Patrol didn't start for another twenty minutes, and with the help of her yo-yo, it would only take a few minutes to reach their meeting spot. But she was tired of waiting. It wouldn't be so bad if she left early, would it? Then again, she'd go from anxiously waiting for time to pass in her room to anxious waiting for Chat on a rooftop. There wouldn't be much of a difference.

"Do you know what you're going to say to him?" Tikki asked quietly, coming to rest on her left shoulder.

"Not a clue," she said, burying her face into the palms of her hands. "I have no idea what to do, Tikki. It feels like we fought about something."

She hadn't told Tikki about her suspicions. Maybe because once she admitted that Adrien and Chat's strange behavior were somehow linked out loud, it would feel real.

So she shoved that thought down. Further. Further. And she wouldn't tell Tikki because, even if she did, there was no guarantee that Tikki would answer her honestly. She knew how important it was for their identities to remain a secret. It'd been engraved in her brain since day one. Tikki probably wouldn't be able to tell her the truth.

And she didn't know if it was true. It probably wasn't. Her brain was just so clouded with concern for the both of them that she was jumping to conclusions.

Regardless, she needed to talk to Chat. She couldn't handle this. It was eating her up. And then, when she loosened the tension between her and Chat, she could worry about Adrien.

"It'll work out, Marinette," Tikki said comfortingly.

"But what if it doesn't?" Her throat ached in a way that foretold tears. "What if we just keep drifting further and further apart? I can't lose him. He's my best friend."

Tikki pushed herself into the air, nestling against Marinette's cheek. "You won't lose him. I'm certain. Ladybugs and Black Cats always find a way to work through their struggles."

She sniffed, blinking hard to dispel the stinging sensation in her eyes, cupping her hands around her kwami. And then she nodded, basking in the reassurance of Tikki's words. Yes. They'd figure this out.

Tonight, she added silently, pushing herself off her bed with renewed determination. We'll figure this out tonight.

She called for her transformation and made her way out of her room, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. While Chat could blend in with the night, Ladybug's costume was much more noticeable. Still, she'd learned to be stealthy during her patrols. That was why they scheduled these patrols so late in the evening—so they'd be able to comb the city for signs of akumas while its citizens were getting ready for bed.

It didn't take her long to reach their meeting place. She blinked when she saw Chat was already there.

Chat often came early, so she shouldn't have been surprised. She knew how much he liked the outdoor air, even when it was cold. A strange mixture of dread and excitement caused her stomach to flutter.

"My Lady," he said as way of greeting her, winking at her.

The words passed through her skin. Wrapped around her heart like a ribbon. Squeezing. Squeezing. It both flattered and saddened her to know that she was still his lady, even with how awkward things were between them.

"Hi, Chat," she said, with a tiny smile.

He leaned on his baton like it was a cane. "Do you want me to take the East half?"

Right. Back to professionalism.

She didn't want to go back to professionalism. Maybe that was what she wanted sometimes, but not tonight. It wasn't Chat. Their relationship had never truly been professional—they were just teenagers with the weight of the entirety of Paris on their shoulders, and with Chat's silly puns, with his flirtatious comments and gestures, it wasn't all business. They were partners, but it was so much more than that. He was like her other half. The distance between them made her feel so empty.

"Actually," she said eventually, swallowing hard, "I was thinking we'd walk together if... if that's ok?"

There was a few moments of hesitation, stretched out long enough to make her anxious.

"Oh," he said faintly. "Sure."

"Ok," she said, nodding to herself. She drew in a shaky breath, forcing herself to not lose her resolve. She could do this. She could fix this. "Ok."

He nodded, too, although a look of anxiety crossed his features. It was gone before she could blink. He extended his staff, and she tightened her grip on her yo-yo. Then they were both plummeting toward the ground, and then up toward the sky. It was something both of them were long used to: up, and down, whizzing gracefully through the city, with fleeting moments of weightlessness before the cycle started anew.

Chat stayed a few feet ahead of her the entire time, painfully silent, which wasn't at all what she wanted. Her feet dusted across a sidewalk, and she flung out her yo-yo string, just barely catching his wrist before he pushed himself skyward again.

It's all or nothing.

"Chat." Why did she feel so out of breath? She stood, panting and unsure, desperately hoping he'd turn to face her. "We can't keep doing this."

He paused. "Doing what?"

"Please, stop," she murmured, pulling ever-so-slightly. It stung that he was trying to pretend like nothing was wrong. "Tell me what's going on."

"Ladybug—"

"I won't judge you," she went on, careful to keep her voice low. Even though they were in a secluded area, it felt like there was a spotlight on them. Like someone was listening. She took a tentative step forward. "I just... I want you to be able to talk to me. I want you to know you can trust me."

"Of course I trust you," he said, now turning to face her. His eyes were wide with shock, as if he was offended that she didn't think it was true.

She swallowed again, this time with more difficulty. "It feels like you don't." She blinked rapidly, trying her best to keep her voice steady, but she wasn't sure if she was succeeding. "A-and... I get it. There are things you don't want people to know. There are secrets you want to keep to yourself. I respect that. But... but I can't... I can't handle this. I hate this distance. I'm so worried about you."

Chat's expression crumbled almost immediately. "My Lady..."

Another shuddering breath. Nice, slow. She was ready to speak again when a series of barks split through the air, startling the both of them. By then her grip on her yo-yo had slackened, which meant Chat was free of her hold. His whole body jerked upon hearing the noise, tail straightening, ears flattening.

And he was behind her, fingers curling around her shoulders, looking around wildly as if trying to find the source of the sound. It didn't seem too terribly close, and she couldn't find it when she looked, but the noise had been very loud in the silence of the night. On any other night, Chat's reaction would have been comical.

But it wasn't. It was far, far from funny. Ladybug sucked in a sharp breath, shocked to her very core, and not because of the barking.

Hands. It was the hands on her shoulders.

All at once, memories slammed into her, hard enough that the impact felt physical. Mere hours before, another pair of hands had been squeezing her shoulders in terror, just like this. And with that memory came a voice:

"I guess I don't like being locked up."

Another blond boy had told her that months ago, when she'd defeated Riposte.

"I've got homework to finish, and I don't want to be caught taking a cat nap during class again."

She remembered the day they'd both accidentally fallen asleep in class. She remembered the way he'd flinched away from Nino, the same way Chat had flinched away from her on the rooftop. She remembered the horrified look in his eyes at Rose's party.

"I embarrassed myself in front of her."

Ladybug turned to look at him, painfully slowly, eyes widening, bit by bit. She studied his hair. His eyes. It was like the last few pieces of the puzzle were finally sliding into place, and when everything clicked, her heart felt like it was ready to burst through her chest. She had been right. She'd been right, and it still didn't feel real.

"Adrien?"

She hadn't meant to say his name out loud. It just came out, in such a soft whisper that she hoped desperately that he didn't hear. But he was Chat—he could hear a pin drop—and it was obvious that he did.

The way he froze up, the way his eyes bulged, the way his mouth fell open... it told her everything.

"Wh-what?" he said, instantly backpedaling. "What?"

"It's... it's been you," she whispered, throat constricting. "This whole time."

"Ladybug, I—" But he couldn't finish. His voice died then and there.

She felt like sobbing now. But she couldn't. She needed to get out of the open. So, just like she'd done that first day, just like she'd done yesterday, she snaked an arm around him and they were moving away, away, away.

She didn't stop until they reached the Eiffel Tower. It was tall enough that she was sure no one would see. When they landed, her cheeks felt damp and sticky.

"I... I don't understand," Chat said, looking so very lost. "H-how...? How did you know?"

Sniffling, she wiped fiercely at her eyes. And then—and then she didn't care anymore. About their identities, about the secrecy, everything just didn't matter. She could see clearly now, the damage she had caused by not telling him who she was. Yesterday, if she hadn't been so tense when he hugged her, he wouldn't have pushed her away. And weeks ago, when he'd been hyperventilating on that rooftop, she'd still panicked when her earrings beeped. If she hadn't, he wouldn't have felt the need to tell her to leave. She probably could have stayed with him, helped him calm down, talked him through it.

And... and... and oh goodness, he'd been so ashamed. He'd told her so back at the party. That was why he wouldn't talk to her. She desperately needed him to know that he didn't need to feel embarrassed over something like this. Every part of her ached for him to know that.

He didn't need to suffer by himself. Not again. She'd left him twice. She wasn't about to do it again. Whatever the consequences, she was willing to face them if it meant he wouldn't push her away anymore. Anything was worth that.

"M-My Lady—what're you doing?" Chat said in a panic when she reached for her earrings.

"I'm here for you," she told him, and her voice broke as she spoke, thick with tears and emotion. "With or without the mask. Always."

And then the magic was gone, leaving her vulnerable and exposed in front of her partner. She barely noticed Tikki's heavy gaze on her. A few more tears cascaded down her cheeks, and slowly, slowly, she looked up at him.

"Ma...Marinette?"

There was no going back now. He knew. He could see. She fumbled with her earrings, struggling to put them back in, and when Tikki was summoned back into the earrings and red magic swept over her, she threw her arms around his shoulders, choking on a sob.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "I'm so, so sorry, Chat. I'm sorry I made you feel ashamed... I'm sorry you felt like you had to deal with those fears by yourself... but I'm here. I'll always be here. So... so please, just... trust me."

It took several achingly long moments, but he finally returned her embrace, sinking heavily until they were both no longer standing. By then she couldn't tell which one of them was shaking. She felt rather than saw him take a deep breath, and was he crying, too? She couldn't tell. She hugged him tighter regardless, resting her chin on his shoulder.

This release was something they both needed.

It felt like an eternity before they pulled apart, but when they finally did, Chat—Adrien—expelled a breathless, croaky laugh. "Th-this... this was not how I expected to reveal my identity to you."

Ladybug laughed as well, although it came out as more of a hiccup. She wiped at her eyes again. "We... we're silly, aren't we?"

"Yeah. Yeah, we are."

"I... talked to you, about you."

"I guess I did the same, huh?" And then, suddenly, he was pulling off his ring, and before she could even begin to look surprised Adrien Agreste was staring at her, with his kwami—Plagg, the back of her mind told her—looking at the two of them with an unreadable expression.

She hadn't had any doubts. But it was weird, knowing Chat was Adrien and actually seeing it.

"Just to make it fair," he murmured, before slipping the ring back on, and he was Chat again.

Her lip wobbled again. She was exhausted, because she had no idea what time it was now, or how long she'd been crying. Her eyes felt swollen and puffy, and her head ached.

"You know," she said hoarsely, looking at him directly. "It's ok to be afraid sometimes. I'm afraid of a lot of things."

Chat blinked, quiet for a moment. Then, hesitantly: "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she echoed.

"I..." He stopped, scared and uncertain. "Thank you, My Lady."

Later, she would it would probably hit her that it was Adrien calling her his lady. Later, everything would hit her, probably just as she was about to fall asleep, or maybe even the next day, when she met him in class. She'd have to face Tikki and Master Fu. But right now, in this moment, all she could think about was how good it felt to know that the wall of tension was finally crumbling, that there was no more distance, no more pretending. Just unwavering warmth and trust.

Tikki had been right. It had worked out. Not in the way she'd expected, but it had.

"Hey. Marinette," Chat said quietly, her name falling from his lips like it was the first time he'd ever said it before.

"Hmm?"

"I'm here for you, too. And I do trust you. More than anyone."

Her head came to rest on his shoulder again, too tired to think about how close they were, and allowed her gaze to sweep over the starlit sky. "I know."