Thank you all for reading. The sequel won't be up for quite a while, but in
the mean time, I'll be working on my HP-KD account stories, and I'll be
redoing some of earlier chapters.
The epilogue is dedicated to my beta, SarahPeach, who's birthday it is today. Oh yeah, and Sirius, I guess, because technically, it's the one year anniversary of his death.
Epilogue
He knew the sun hadn't risen yet, even whilst his eyes were closed, and his face buried against the semi-cold comforter. He ran through a mental checklist of things that could have woken him up.
He had gone to sleep relatively late the previous night, so he couldn't be fully rested, and his eyes still burned slightly from lack of sleep. The tiny remains of pain from in his stomach weren't heavy enough to wake him. His knee itched a bit from the sunburn he had received, but he knew that wasn't it either. His bladder wasn't protesting, so the first thing he wanted to do was to roll over, adjust his pillows, and go back to sleep.
He was quiet for a few seconds though, because he could hear breathing.
He could hear it was intermittent, and the only person in the house with him at that point was his godfather, so it had to be him, or a very sluggish death eater. He could hear no whispered spells, but he could hear a murmur of words that he couldn't quite make out.
He dared to crack open an eye.
He could see the silhouette of his godfather. Still feeling groggy, he licked his lips; feeling dehydrated, and brushed his arm against what he assumed to be Sirius's knee to let him know he was awake without startling him.
"You all right, Sirius?" he could tell by the sharp intake of breath through his nose that his attempt hadn't been very successful. Then again, Sirius had never been one for outward displays of surprise, so it might have been something else.
"Did I wake you up?" their words were both in whispers, despite the empty house.
He shook his head in an outright lie. He wasn't usually such a light sleeper, though.
"Sorry." He said, obviously seeing through the fib.
"What's wrong? Can't sleep?" Opening his eyes wider, he noticed that Sirius was sitting backwards in a particularly uncomfortable chair that had been sitting at his desk, with his hands folded and chin on top of the back. It was why he used the library slash office off of the living room; the chairs were much more comfortable.
"Something like that." He replied, leaving Harry in confusion. For some strange reason, he felt more tired then normal. He had always been pretty good at being woken up at unreasonable hours, unless it was only so he could be bugged for something. "You go back to sleep, Harry. I was just about to leave anyway."
"No, it's fine. Get in." His voice didn't leave much room for argument, but it didn't seem like Sirius really wanted to protest anyway.
"Thanks." He said, quietly, accepting the covers in Harry's hands, and he lay against the pillows besides him as he scooted over.
"What were you doing in here, anyway?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound like he was upset for the invasion of privacy.
"I was just watching you sleep..."
"What?" he asked in confusion. Why would anyone want to watch him sleep?
"That's what us parent types do..." he said, smirking a bit. He was really getting into this parent thing, Harry could tell.
"And do you... do this often?"
"Over the summer, I would do it when I couldn't sleep. I'd just come in and sit and watch you sleep. And I'd... never mind."
"No really, what would you do?"
"It's stupid..."
"Yeah, well I tell you about the stupid things I do. I never told Ron or Hermione about the cutting, and all that... well, Ron found out, but I never told him."
"And you wouldn't have told me either if I hadn't asked you about it."
"And with good reason, too. You went and you told Remus about that whole... thing..."
"I hadn't realized that bothered you so much."
"Well, it sort of does..."
"You promise me that you'll never try anything that stupid again, Harry?"
"Of course not, Sirius..."
"Have I told you recently how sorry I am for almost marrying her?"
"Oh, you've said it, maybe five times in the past twenty-four hours, but I'm still happy to hear it, so go ahead, you can say it again."
"I'm sorry... I can't believe she would do something like that."
"And you're sorry that you doubted my suspicions about her being an evil bi- "
"Yes, yes, that too." He said with annoyance.
"I forgive you, I guess... I mean, she was sort of attractive, in an evil, conniving sort of way." He said, smirking just a bit.
There was a comfortable silence, until he posed the question. "So are you going to tell me?" He stared at Sirius across from the huge bed; his head propped up against his hand, as he rested his elbow in his pillow. Sirius groaned, in the same position as him.
"Ugh... I thought you had forgotten."
"You don't have to tell me if it's that personal to you, Sirius." He said, playing the 'I guess you can't confide in me' card.
"No, no it's all right. I'll tell you. I- I was praying, Harry." He said, his voice sounded as if he was expecting to be teased.
"Well that's nothing to be embarrassed about, and it certainly isn't stupid."
"I'm not really a religious person, you know?"
"Doesn't mean you can't pray. Who were you talking to?"
"James... your mother... I'm- I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing with this adoption, Harry. I mean, I don't want to take the place of your father, but it really feels right. I just don't know what they would want me to do, Har."
"If they loved me the way you're saying they do, I would think they would want me to be happy, though. Don't you think?"
"I just don't know. I mean I know they would want you to have a good life, but James always had this sort of... protective thing with you. I mean, he let us play with you, and everything, but he didn't like the idea of all of us trying to become sort of surrogate fathers for you when you were young. He was really supportive of me settling down and having a family of my own. Like he was saying 'Get your hands off my kid.' You know?" It seemed like Sirius suddenly realized who he was talking to. "That isn't to say that he doesn't want you to be happy... I mean, he loved you something fierce..."
Harry stared with a bit of shock. His father? He hadn't really expected. The way Sirius almost hero-worshiped him? He hadn't really expected him to be the territorial type.
"I'm sure he wouldn't take it so far as to that he would rather see me grow up without anybody rather then have someone take his place. If he's up there watching... that must really freak you out."
"Yeah, it does. I mean, I know if your mother could have a word with me right now, she would probably hit me for the whole thing with Carmon. She had quite the right hook, actually." He said, rubbing his jaw as if she had done it that morning.
"If you don't want to adopt me, it really wouldn't be that big a deal. You're my godfather, and whatever happens, that's not going to change."
"No, Harry, I think that despite whatever James would think of it, the choice is really yours. If you agree to it-"
"Which, as I've said many times before, I do."
"Then we should go along with it."
There was a silence. Harry rolled over onto his back, and stared at the ceiling.
"You ever wonder about Ron?"
"He was my best friend, Sirius. Every night I wonder about him."
"Do you think he's still alive?"
He paused for a second, then he turned to look at Sirius. "No."
There was a silence for half of a minute, and he knew that Sirius probably thought the subject had closed, but he spoke regardless.
"I don't think it was ever really a matter of believing that he was missing or not. It more how long my optimism and denial would hold out for."
"I'm not going to lie to you, because I don't think you'd believe me anyway. The chances he's alive are really slim, Harry. But, for all we know, he could have lost his memory and be living with a muggle family or something."
"For all we know, I guess."
"Have you... had any visions of Voldemort lately?"
"No. That is strange, though, isn't it? With all the things that have been going on during this school year, I haven't even really been paying attention to it, but that's kind of strange, don't you think?"
"Yeah... I'm not one to be pessimistic, but that rarely means anything good."
"Maybe he found out a way for me not to hear his plans..."
"I hadn't thought of that... but you might be right. Maybe once we get back from break I'll talk to Dumbledore about it."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."
Harry rolled over on to his stomach with his head turned out so that he was facing Sirius.
"Hey, Sirius?" he started, his voice taking on a groggy tone.
"What's going on, Har?" he asked, stealing a pillow out from under him.
"Can you... tell me something about my mum?"
Sirius seemed a bit taken aback. "I guess it must get annoying hearing about your dad all the time..."
"No, it's not that... I don't know anything about my mum though."
"Well, she didn't really like your father all that much up until the end and after Hogwarts. After his head deflated a bit, you know?"
"Where you two friends?"
"My head deflated a little after James's did, but up until they started going out I didn't really know her all that well." He said, scooting closer, and running a placating hand through Harry's hair, making his eyes droop. He closed his eyes, listening to his godfather speak in a low, calming voice that Harry figured was probably instated so that he would get to sleep easier.
"Stuff really changed after the incident with Remus and Snape, and I think I really got my priorities in order. I mean, I had moved into your father's parents house by then, and the idea that I had almost killed someone really scared me, and what I had done to Remus... he refused to talk to me for almost that entire year after it happened, and that really got me thinking that I needed to be more mature. Then your dad started dating your mom, and I started going with girls for more then a week..."
"What about Mum though?"
"Well, she loved your father so much, but I supposed you don't want to hear that." He didn't respond; making noise was beyond his capabilities right now.
"But I don't think that anyone loved you as much as she did. Not even me. She cared so much about you, I think James was a bit jealous of you, she spent so much time with you, and everything."
He listened, hearing half of what Sirius was saying, the other half hearing only the voice and noticing with detachment how tired it seemed to make him.
"Me and Remus didn't even get a chance to baby sit for you until you were almost six months, she was so protective of you. She barely ever went out."
Harry had the idea of asking what his first words where, having only heard the word 'baby', but he was bordering the line of consciousness and sleep, and he was really tired...
The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was, "Goodnight, Harry. I love you." Before the hand on his head was removed, and the bed shifted.
The epilogue is dedicated to my beta, SarahPeach, who's birthday it is today. Oh yeah, and Sirius, I guess, because technically, it's the one year anniversary of his death.
Epilogue
He knew the sun hadn't risen yet, even whilst his eyes were closed, and his face buried against the semi-cold comforter. He ran through a mental checklist of things that could have woken him up.
He had gone to sleep relatively late the previous night, so he couldn't be fully rested, and his eyes still burned slightly from lack of sleep. The tiny remains of pain from in his stomach weren't heavy enough to wake him. His knee itched a bit from the sunburn he had received, but he knew that wasn't it either. His bladder wasn't protesting, so the first thing he wanted to do was to roll over, adjust his pillows, and go back to sleep.
He was quiet for a few seconds though, because he could hear breathing.
He could hear it was intermittent, and the only person in the house with him at that point was his godfather, so it had to be him, or a very sluggish death eater. He could hear no whispered spells, but he could hear a murmur of words that he couldn't quite make out.
He dared to crack open an eye.
He could see the silhouette of his godfather. Still feeling groggy, he licked his lips; feeling dehydrated, and brushed his arm against what he assumed to be Sirius's knee to let him know he was awake without startling him.
"You all right, Sirius?" he could tell by the sharp intake of breath through his nose that his attempt hadn't been very successful. Then again, Sirius had never been one for outward displays of surprise, so it might have been something else.
"Did I wake you up?" their words were both in whispers, despite the empty house.
He shook his head in an outright lie. He wasn't usually such a light sleeper, though.
"Sorry." He said, obviously seeing through the fib.
"What's wrong? Can't sleep?" Opening his eyes wider, he noticed that Sirius was sitting backwards in a particularly uncomfortable chair that had been sitting at his desk, with his hands folded and chin on top of the back. It was why he used the library slash office off of the living room; the chairs were much more comfortable.
"Something like that." He replied, leaving Harry in confusion. For some strange reason, he felt more tired then normal. He had always been pretty good at being woken up at unreasonable hours, unless it was only so he could be bugged for something. "You go back to sleep, Harry. I was just about to leave anyway."
"No, it's fine. Get in." His voice didn't leave much room for argument, but it didn't seem like Sirius really wanted to protest anyway.
"Thanks." He said, quietly, accepting the covers in Harry's hands, and he lay against the pillows besides him as he scooted over.
"What were you doing in here, anyway?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound like he was upset for the invasion of privacy.
"I was just watching you sleep..."
"What?" he asked in confusion. Why would anyone want to watch him sleep?
"That's what us parent types do..." he said, smirking a bit. He was really getting into this parent thing, Harry could tell.
"And do you... do this often?"
"Over the summer, I would do it when I couldn't sleep. I'd just come in and sit and watch you sleep. And I'd... never mind."
"No really, what would you do?"
"It's stupid..."
"Yeah, well I tell you about the stupid things I do. I never told Ron or Hermione about the cutting, and all that... well, Ron found out, but I never told him."
"And you wouldn't have told me either if I hadn't asked you about it."
"And with good reason, too. You went and you told Remus about that whole... thing..."
"I hadn't realized that bothered you so much."
"Well, it sort of does..."
"You promise me that you'll never try anything that stupid again, Harry?"
"Of course not, Sirius..."
"Have I told you recently how sorry I am for almost marrying her?"
"Oh, you've said it, maybe five times in the past twenty-four hours, but I'm still happy to hear it, so go ahead, you can say it again."
"I'm sorry... I can't believe she would do something like that."
"And you're sorry that you doubted my suspicions about her being an evil bi- "
"Yes, yes, that too." He said with annoyance.
"I forgive you, I guess... I mean, she was sort of attractive, in an evil, conniving sort of way." He said, smirking just a bit.
There was a comfortable silence, until he posed the question. "So are you going to tell me?" He stared at Sirius across from the huge bed; his head propped up against his hand, as he rested his elbow in his pillow. Sirius groaned, in the same position as him.
"Ugh... I thought you had forgotten."
"You don't have to tell me if it's that personal to you, Sirius." He said, playing the 'I guess you can't confide in me' card.
"No, no it's all right. I'll tell you. I- I was praying, Harry." He said, his voice sounded as if he was expecting to be teased.
"Well that's nothing to be embarrassed about, and it certainly isn't stupid."
"I'm not really a religious person, you know?"
"Doesn't mean you can't pray. Who were you talking to?"
"James... your mother... I'm- I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing with this adoption, Harry. I mean, I don't want to take the place of your father, but it really feels right. I just don't know what they would want me to do, Har."
"If they loved me the way you're saying they do, I would think they would want me to be happy, though. Don't you think?"
"I just don't know. I mean I know they would want you to have a good life, but James always had this sort of... protective thing with you. I mean, he let us play with you, and everything, but he didn't like the idea of all of us trying to become sort of surrogate fathers for you when you were young. He was really supportive of me settling down and having a family of my own. Like he was saying 'Get your hands off my kid.' You know?" It seemed like Sirius suddenly realized who he was talking to. "That isn't to say that he doesn't want you to be happy... I mean, he loved you something fierce..."
Harry stared with a bit of shock. His father? He hadn't really expected. The way Sirius almost hero-worshiped him? He hadn't really expected him to be the territorial type.
"I'm sure he wouldn't take it so far as to that he would rather see me grow up without anybody rather then have someone take his place. If he's up there watching... that must really freak you out."
"Yeah, it does. I mean, I know if your mother could have a word with me right now, she would probably hit me for the whole thing with Carmon. She had quite the right hook, actually." He said, rubbing his jaw as if she had done it that morning.
"If you don't want to adopt me, it really wouldn't be that big a deal. You're my godfather, and whatever happens, that's not going to change."
"No, Harry, I think that despite whatever James would think of it, the choice is really yours. If you agree to it-"
"Which, as I've said many times before, I do."
"Then we should go along with it."
There was a silence. Harry rolled over onto his back, and stared at the ceiling.
"You ever wonder about Ron?"
"He was my best friend, Sirius. Every night I wonder about him."
"Do you think he's still alive?"
He paused for a second, then he turned to look at Sirius. "No."
There was a silence for half of a minute, and he knew that Sirius probably thought the subject had closed, but he spoke regardless.
"I don't think it was ever really a matter of believing that he was missing or not. It more how long my optimism and denial would hold out for."
"I'm not going to lie to you, because I don't think you'd believe me anyway. The chances he's alive are really slim, Harry. But, for all we know, he could have lost his memory and be living with a muggle family or something."
"For all we know, I guess."
"Have you... had any visions of Voldemort lately?"
"No. That is strange, though, isn't it? With all the things that have been going on during this school year, I haven't even really been paying attention to it, but that's kind of strange, don't you think?"
"Yeah... I'm not one to be pessimistic, but that rarely means anything good."
"Maybe he found out a way for me not to hear his plans..."
"I hadn't thought of that... but you might be right. Maybe once we get back from break I'll talk to Dumbledore about it."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."
Harry rolled over on to his stomach with his head turned out so that he was facing Sirius.
"Hey, Sirius?" he started, his voice taking on a groggy tone.
"What's going on, Har?" he asked, stealing a pillow out from under him.
"Can you... tell me something about my mum?"
Sirius seemed a bit taken aback. "I guess it must get annoying hearing about your dad all the time..."
"No, it's not that... I don't know anything about my mum though."
"Well, she didn't really like your father all that much up until the end and after Hogwarts. After his head deflated a bit, you know?"
"Where you two friends?"
"My head deflated a little after James's did, but up until they started going out I didn't really know her all that well." He said, scooting closer, and running a placating hand through Harry's hair, making his eyes droop. He closed his eyes, listening to his godfather speak in a low, calming voice that Harry figured was probably instated so that he would get to sleep easier.
"Stuff really changed after the incident with Remus and Snape, and I think I really got my priorities in order. I mean, I had moved into your father's parents house by then, and the idea that I had almost killed someone really scared me, and what I had done to Remus... he refused to talk to me for almost that entire year after it happened, and that really got me thinking that I needed to be more mature. Then your dad started dating your mom, and I started going with girls for more then a week..."
"What about Mum though?"
"Well, she loved your father so much, but I supposed you don't want to hear that." He didn't respond; making noise was beyond his capabilities right now.
"But I don't think that anyone loved you as much as she did. Not even me. She cared so much about you, I think James was a bit jealous of you, she spent so much time with you, and everything."
He listened, hearing half of what Sirius was saying, the other half hearing only the voice and noticing with detachment how tired it seemed to make him.
"Me and Remus didn't even get a chance to baby sit for you until you were almost six months, she was so protective of you. She barely ever went out."
Harry had the idea of asking what his first words where, having only heard the word 'baby', but he was bordering the line of consciousness and sleep, and he was really tired...
The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was, "Goodnight, Harry. I love you." Before the hand on his head was removed, and the bed shifted.