A/N: this started out being inspired by a scene in the Code Geass Stage 0 Light novel but since i was writing by the seat of my pants it took a mind of it's own and became something else entirely! XD in the novel it's revealed that there was another reason behind Suzaku's patricide, which made his actions take on a whole new level of twisted irony.

I wrote this in my notes on my iphone so if there is any spelling or grammar mistakes please forgive me. Spell check on Iphones are a... witch.

There where times when Nunnally was grateful that she had once been blind. Because without her eyesight her other senses become stronger and even after opening her eyes her senses remained strong.

Which was why she could hear the things people wanted to keep hidden from her.

Gossip from the maids in the room across the hall, political whispers during meetings, soldier's ruckus from the mess hall, and most importantly, the sleep talking of her Knight.

He never talked about himself or tried to explain things away. He still refused to answer certain questions.

He never hesitated to remind her that he was Zero and that Suzaku Kururugi was dead…

But he couldn't hide the truth in his sleep..

When traveling Zero always stayed in the room adjacent to hers, which gave her ears full access to the sound of him sleeping, his breathing… his sleep talking.

Normally, he was a very quiet sleeper; only sleep talking when he was frustrated with something or someone and even then it was barely louder then a whisper.

Even his nightmares were quite…

But she could hear him, as if he was next to her, and She took it all in.

His breathing, his grumbling, his fears, his gasping breath…

She learned a lot about her old friend from listening to him sleep…

Sometimes it was about wanting to throttle someone for causing to much trouble at work, sometimes it was about her stubbornness and other times…

Other times it was about Euphie, or Lelouch… sometimes it was even about their time as children…

She realized a lot about the horrors her friend saw as a child… she learned a lot from Suzaku's pained whispers…

And tonight was no different.

She had learned to wake up at the sounds of her friend's sleeping distress so, when the sound of terrified pleading reached her ears she woke quickly but groggily.

She was confused for a moment.

"Please… Father…" the whisper drifted towards her, frightened and panicked. "Please… please… don't…"

The young Empress shot up in bed. Closing her eyes, she listened.

"Don't…tho' two…" Suzaku's voice clung to her ears, "please… Don't…"

she scrunched her face in worry. Tonight was different. She had never heard him sound this afraid before…

she looked at her wheelchair and hesitated only for a moment before using her hands to move herself towards it.

She could call Sayako but… if she did that then Suzaku might wake from the sound.

Plus, she doubted he'd want her maid to see him distressed.

So Nunnally did something truly foolish.

She tired to slip into her wheelchair all by herself. In the dark.

A thunk, bump, and slide later, she found herself half-on, half-off her chair, staring at the ceiling.

Good news, she thought to herself, I did it. And quietly as well. With some difficulty, She pulled herself upright into the chair. Bad news, I'm probably going to have some new bruises tomorrow…

She moved the wheelchair out into the penthouse living room and was rewarded with the sight of her friend on the couch. And, not for the first time, she realized what a blessing her sight was…

Because if she couldn't see, she wouldn't have been able to truly understand the sight in front of her.

Suzaku was laid out on his back, left hand gripping his chest, right arm dangling off the couch. He still wore Zero's uniform but the helmet and cravat where on the table while he used the cape as a blanket.

But what stood out to her was his face…

Pale and clammy, sweat beading along his cheekbones, and tears slipping from beneath his eyelids… his face was scrunched up it what she clearly knew was terror… pure, uncontrollable terror…

"Please…" he mumbled so desperately, "Don't… harm… 'ose… 'wo…" his right hand reached up, grabbing at whatever was haunting him.

Nunnally moved closer, thankful that Sukazu no longer woke up to the sound of her wheelchair. She placed herself by the arm of the couch, next to his head, and debated on whether she should wake him up.

She wanted to rescue him from his nightmare, but no matter how gently she tried to wake him, there was a fifty percent chance of him waking in a panic.

"Please… Father…" his quiet groans continued, "Don't… harm…those… two…"

That caught Nunnally's attention.

His father? And "those two"? That means Brother and myself, right? The nightmare must be about our childhood but… I don't remember the Prime Minister trying to harm us…

"Father… Don't…" He was repeating the same thing over and over again. As if he was stuck in a loop, continuously repeating the same nightmare.

Or maybe he was reliving something? Something from their childhood?

"Suzaku?" She decided to take a chance and called out to him quietly. "Suzaku, please wake up." She gently placed her hand on his cheek and was surprised when that didn't wake him.

But it did something.

"Father, I won't… let you…" he wasn't repeating himself anymore but his hand was flexing itself as if holding onto something.

"Suzaku." She tried again, patting his cheek. "Please wake up."

"I won't… let you… hurt them…" he was shifting now, as if struggling with something.

"Sukazu!" She raised her voice and shook his shoulders. She wasn't very loud but it did the trick.

"NO!" Suzaku's eyes snapped open and he bolted up. Eyes wide, he gripped his chest with both hands as his breathing became ragged.

Nunnally moved her wheelchair to the corner of the couch so she could reach over and touch his back.

"Suzaku?" She meant for her touch to be soothing but instead he recoiled away from her with a flinch.

He stared at her, eyes wide, and she realized he wasn't fully awake and coherent.

"Suzaku, it's me, Nunnally." She tried again, this time more slowly.

He didn't moved as she placed a hand on his arm. He was trembling but his body began to relax.

"Nun…nally?" He asked.

"Hm," she hummed her acknowledgment with a smile. "You where having a nightmare."

"Nightmare?" He placed a hand on his head.

"Yes."

"Just," he began, "a Nigh-hurk!" But he didn't finish. Suddenly his hand flew to his mouth and he tried to fly off the bed. But his legs were tangled in the cape and he fell off instead.

"Suza-!" Nunnally flinched at the sound of retching. "Oh… Suzaku…"

Sayoko appeared at their side and kneeled next to Suzaku, handing him a wastebasket.

He took it without a word and continued to heave into it.

Nunnally moved to his side, while Sayoko left, and began to rub his back.

It was a bit hard to do from the wheelchair but she was determined to help her friend anyway possible.

They remained this way until Suzaku had nothing left in stomach. Nunnally watched as he tried to hold back the dry heaving.

Sayoko returned with a mop, bucket of water, some wet hand towels, and a beer mug filled with water.

She handed a wet towel and the beer mug to Suzaku, who immediately used the water to rinse out his mouth. Once he had finished he pulled himself back onto the couch, somewhat curling up on the side furthest from the mess.

"Sorry, Sayoko-San…" he breathed tiredly, wiping his whole face with the towel.

"Pay it no mind," she gave him a gentle smile and retrieved the towel from him, "I will have it cleaned by morning."

"Thank you…" he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the arm of the couch.

Nunnally moved to the corner of the couch and placed her hand on his head.

"They say that if you talk about a nightmare with someone you will feel better." Nunnally spoke gently as she ran her fingers through his curls.

Suzaku looked at her with half lidded eyes. Eyes… that looked like they held no soul.

He closed them again, leaning into her touch.

"It's fine…" he mumbled. "It doesn't matter anymore…"

"But-" she tried to protest.

"The only thing that matters is that Lelouch was right. The past is the past. I can't change it… it doesn't matter." His voice was void of life and feelings. "Besides… despite it all… I would still make the same choice…"

"Choice?" She asked somewhat encouragingly, hoping for him to slip up and answer her.

"Despite knowing what would happen… I would still do it…" he looked her in the eyes and gingerly cupped her face in one hand. "At that time… I would choose you and Lelouch over anyone… over my family, my teachers, even over all of Japan…"

Nunnally swallowed the lump in her throat.

"But that just shows what a horrible monster I am…" he concluded.

"Your not-!" Her protest died at the look in Suzaku's eyes.

Dead.

Resigned to the fact that he was a horrible person.

Nunnally frowned deeply.

She knew all of what Suzaku had done and yes, it was horrible… but she also knew that he had been broken and shattered.

She closed her eyes and moved her wheelchair as close to the couch as she could.

"Sayoko-San, would you help me please?" She motioned towards the couch, to the spot next to Suzaku.

"Of course, my lady."

Sayoko stood up and helped Nunnally onto the couch.

Suzaku had closed his eyes and was mostly likely to tired to help but that didn't bother Nunnally.

"Thank you." She smiled at her maid once she was on the couch.

"You're welcome." Sayoko Bowed before returning to cleaning.

Nunnally reached over to Suzaku and grabbed hold of his arms. His eyes opened as she pulled herself closer and closer.

Suzaku lifted his head a little to look at her. With a strength and determination that belied her appearance she pulled herself up onto Suzaku's side.

Laying her head on his upper arm, she wrapped her right arm around him and held him tightly.

She supposed she should be embarrassed about this but… Suzaku was one of two people she had no qualms about cuddling with. She mildly wondered if it was because of all the times they did so as children.

But that was something she could think on later. Right now she had something important to say. Something her friend needed to hear.

"Suzaku?" She whispered, a small smile on her face.

"Hm?" He still had the tired, lifeless look about his face.

"You're not a monster to me." She closed her eyes and listened to his heart. "As long as you've realized your mistakes and truly wish to make up for them then… then you can be forgiven."

She heard him take a sharp breath but she didn't give him time to respond.

"But in order for forgiveness to come, you must be willing to change. You must accept your mistakes and never repeat them." His heart was beating faster. "No more betrayals, no more lying, no more selfish desires. But most importantly, no more self-deprecation. How can you forgive yourself if you keep hating yourself?"

"Ninnally… I can't-"

"How can anyone else forgive you if you don't forgive yourself?"

She wasn't berating him or trying to lecture him but she had to at least make him think about her words.

Slowly but surely they had all been healing in their own ways. Suzaku, Kallen, herself, and many others.

But Suzaku's nightmares would always reopen his wounds and pull him into a deep depression.

Nunnally couldn't allow that to keep happening.

"I don't…Want-" Suzaku fumbled for a bit before going quiet. He let out a small sigh and she felt his body go limp. "Forgiveness is something I don't deserve…"

"Everyone deserves forgiveness, Suzaku." Nunnally was surprised at his honesty. He normally kept those sorts of thoughts to himself.

"…" He didn't say anything but she knew he wasn't convinced.

She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Suzaku, my Zero, I forgive you for all the wrongs you've done to my Brother and I."

He snapped to look at her, eyes wide and almost wild. She looked him right in the eyes,

"I forgive you for killing my Brother."

He looked like he was ready to break, like he wanted to escape from her but couldn't. She wasn't strong but her body held him in place. Perhaps the fact he couldn't bring himself to push her off was proof he was indeed changing.

"You may not want to be forgiven but I'm going to do it anyway. You are important to me Suzaku. One of the few people still left that I can truly call family." She reached up and held his face gently. "And I know Brother thinks the same."

And just like that… Nunnally broke Suzaku.

A/N: thank you for reading!