Trigger Warning for abuse. If this is a problem for you please tread carefully.

"Your what?" Raph quietly asked, but I knew, same as everyone else in the room, it was the calm before the storm.

"Raph, please?" I couldn't finish that, what was I supposed to say. Please listen before you judge? Please let me explain before you kick me out? Please help me get Jade out of the state and into hiding? "Please."

He sighed as his tense shoulders loosened and he looked up to the ceiling. He walked towards me and his brothers subtly moved towards us, just in case his temper got away from him.

He wouldn't hurt me.

And I knew that to be true, even if I wasn't sure about anything else, I knewthat.

He kneeled beside me,much to the silent shock of his family, took both my hands in one of his as the other gently held my face.

"Why didn't ya' tell me?" He softly questioned, and I wanted to cry. His understanding and disappointment hurting so much more than his anger ever could.

"I wanted to forget." I told him honestly. " I just wanted to move on, and forget."

I had tried so hard to do just that, and I'd nearly convinced myself that I had. But the past has a way of sneaking up on you, of making itself known when everything is going your way. This was my rude awakening, a reminder of what I couldn't escape.

"I think I need to start from the beginning..."

Raph took the seat next to me and held my hand and I got subtle nods of agreement from the rest of the room while Chrys gave me a nod of encouragement from her place on Donnie's lap.

"I was 22 when I got married, my parents loved him and I did too, at least I thought I did. " I huffed at my naivete before I continued. "We had a great 6 months together, he would tell me stories about giant turtles in New York city who fought like ninjas." I couldn't look up, so I just kept staring at Raph's hand while I played with it. "He was obsessed with the "urban legend" of them and their enemies. His favorite character was always the bad guy... that should have been a red flag. He didnt want me to get a job, so that he could see me whenever he wanted, so he started asking me to pick up the chores around the house after I quit my job. It wasn't a big deal until... the job wasn't done how he liked it."

I really didn't want to talk about this, I was stronger because I'd survived. But they needed the truth, they needed the whole, ugly truth.

"He started off with just a back hand to the face a few times a month, nothing serious. He'd always apologize afterwards and I'd convince myself he was telling the truth when he said he wouldn't do it again. Then he started locking me in the basement when he left the house, wouldn't let me eat unless he was eating beside me. He would "make love" to me to apologize."

My eyes welled up, ugh, I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't want to remember. But then Raph squeezed my hand in comfort and I calmed enough to continue.

"After our 1st anniversary Chrys stopped by with a gift, she knew immediately that I wasn't ok. She left when Zach asked but I got a beating for her showing up in the first place. She came back the next day, hours after he'd left for work. She broke in and got me out of the basement. While she helped me pack my stuff she told me our parents hadn't believed her. I hadn't kept in contact with them, so they didn't want to hear from me now."

That had hurt me just as sharply as Zach's abuse, abandonment in my time of need. But I still had Chrys, I reached across the table and squeezed her hand. I wasn't the only one who lost things by running off.

"We ran, I'm not into cities so I figured a big city is the last place he'd look for me. By the time we got here I knew I was pregnant."

They knew the rest. But I could see their confusion.

"Hiw did he know about us?" Donnie asked.

"He had a buddy who lived here, would tell him stories about the turtles... and the shredder."

"He liked the shredder." Leo said, not really needing to ask.

"He had a tattoo of the foot clan symbol, "like" isn't a strong enough word." I told him. "Somehow I completely forgot about all of that until he showed up tonight."

"And you're positive it's him?" Raph gently asked, still not releasing my hand.

"When he..." The tears fell this time, I didnt want to share this with them, I'd planned to tell Raph when we were alone, I hadn't even told Chrys this. This was worst of it all, I would gladly take his abuse again if he hadn't threatened my baby. My Jade. "After he would... "make love" he would say, "My gift, for Shredder."... I never understood what he was saying. Then one night he got really drunk and told me that he wanted to be a part of creating the next generation of ninjas for the Shredder... That's why he wants her. For Shredder."