Disclaimer: The only marvel movies I've ever watched were Logan, Infinity War, and Recently Homecoming, also half of Venom. I only got obsessed with Peter being a depressed bitch when I watched the gameplay of the Spider-man game. I know nothing else than what I've read in the edgy emo Peter Parker fanfiction I've seen. Please don't hate me, I'm going to try and watch at least Winter Soldier, Endgame, and Far From Home. I also don't own any of these characters, which you might've guessed. I might add in some original characters but like that's it.

Please review and constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

So about the story, yeah so this is set during Homecoming in the scene where Peter's like "if you cared you'd be here" and Tony's there and Peter's like "oh wait oh shit im fucked."

"If you're nothing without the suit, then maybe you shouldn't have it."

Peter stepped back from Tony in shock, those words ringing in his ears until it was all he could hear.

Nothing without the suit. Nothing.

Useless.

Nothing.

You're nothing.

Okay, so maybe Tony never exactly said that he was nothing, but Peter hasn't had these thoughts in a while. The last time he's had these thoughts were when Uncle Ben had died. He couldn't bear leaving his room and he wallowed in self pity and depression. After he had died, Peter refused to leave his room for three months, only leaving to go to the bathroom and patrol and left enough to make Aunt May not worry as much. He had tried to starve himself as much as possible while allowing himself to still be functionable. Him being Spider-Man was the only thing that had stopped himself from just giving up and killing himself.

And now it was being taken away.

Spider-Man had saved Peter too many times to count. The only thing that had saved him was being taken away.

he felt empty.

Peter Parker, the kid who never stopped talking, the kid who practically worshipped Iron Man and the rest of the Avengers, the kid who wished that Happy would put in the effort to talk to him, felt empty.

So Peter replied to Stark by just sighing defeatedly and shrugging. "Okay."

Tony was taken aback from Peter's willingness to give back the suit. He had expected the teenager to fight back and launch into some speech saying that New York needed Spider-Man or something. He had even prepared a script when that happened, saying what he thought a responsible parent—I mean adult—would say.

But he just nodded stiffly and put his arm out so that Peter could give him the suit.

"Oh, um… I don't really have any clothes under here."

Figured. Stark nodded again. "We'll fix that, c'mon."

Peter walked home, dragging his feet behind him. He was sad and exhausted, and just wanted to collapse into his bed and cry himself to sleep.

While he walked, he helped some people with directions and stopped someone from taking a lady's purse.

Nothing.

Nothing nothing nothing.

Just nothing.

Hearing Tony say that, hearing his own mentor say that, someone he had looked up to since he was just a child, someone who had helped Peter be who he is and was a part of the reason he had quit cutting, well.

It hurt.

It hurt like hell.

And Tony blaming him and telling him that it was his fault that the ferry was cut in half was so frustrating. His mentor yelled at him for trying to save people, he was near close to not failing too, if he didn't forget that one section.

But everything bad that happens is his fault, so okay.

No thanks to him, people were alive.

He could've killed people.

You never do anything right.

He just wished it never happened. Wished there wasn't some weird old bird guy flying around dealing alien tech.

He wished that he never yelled back at Tony, or disobeyed him. Maybe then he would've still had the suit.

But it's gone, and he couldn't change that.

Peter already knew that the first thing Happh and Tony were gonna do we're to probably delete his number and forget he ever existed. Which was fine by him.

Less people that cared about him.

Then at least he could finally get out of Tony's hair, poor guy was probably sick of him.

He came home, told Aunt May that he had lost his internship, got comforted by her, and then went to his bedroom after convincing May that he wasn't hungry.

He couldn't sleep.

There was just too much on his mind.

Too much.

There was always too much.

Worry and fear and just so so much.

He felt so empty, but his mind was racing.

You're nothing.

You were wrong.

This is all your fault.

Peter tossed and turned, trying to tune out his thoughts. He had a test tomorrow, he needed as much sleep as he could manage, but his stupid brain was not gonna let it happen any time soon.

You couldn't even make Mr. Stark proud, what makes you think that you're just allowed to live happy? Ben's dead because of you.

No.

No.

Useless.

Useless.

You can't even stop that weird creepy dude with wings.

No.

Stop.

STOP!

He hadn't had these thoughts in a year, why are they suddenly coming back?

Peter felt like he couldn't breathe. He opened the window to let in some fresh air but he still felt sick and he looked down outside.

His brain wandered around before he shook his head and took a deep breath, closing the window and running his fingers through his hair, slowly calming down. The teen took deep breaths and blinked up at the ceiling, daring himself not to cry.

He was okay.

He didn't need Mr. Stark's help, he can deal with himself. He's gonna be okay.

He has to be okay.

He wasn't sure what he's going to do to himself if he wasn't.

He finally fell asleep emotionally exhausted.

Happy was driving Tony back the Avengers Tower, ignoring the fact that Tony had not said anything the entire ride. Must be one of his moods

However, Tony was still concerned over the fact that Peter had given up his suit so easily. Did he have something planned? Did he go too far? He hoped not. He would never admit it, but the kid has grown on him since he's known him. He was a good kid though, he'll be fine.

But he was so unusually quiet when they were heading back to grab a shirt and pants to wear back to his house. What if Peter took it to heart? He was only exaggerating when he said he was taking the suit forever. At most he'd take it away for a week, maybe two. Maybe that was why? But Peter should've already known that he tended to exaggerate things. Stupid teenage minds and their stupid self doubting brains.

Whatever. He'll make it up the the kid tomorrow by picking him up or something from school and treating him to some ice cream store and talk.

"Boss?"

"Hm?"

"We're here."

"Oh, right. Thanks Hap."

Okay, so how was that? Like I said, I have no clue what happened before Homecoming besides what I've already read on this site so can yall just review and try and give me some constructive criticism or something? Thanks!