You're On Speaker - Deadpool

Disclaimer ~ I do not own Avengers

*The one where Deadpool calls Peter in the middle of his class*

Peter was in his science class when his phone went off. At first, he didn't notice it. But after about ten minutes of buzzing in the otherwise silent classroom it became hard to ignore. Everyone was looking around, trying to figure out who's phone was ringing.

"Sorry Mr. Harrison! It's mine," Peter exclaimed, finally figuring out the buzzing was coming from his backpack. He pulled out the phone to see who had been calling, in case it was important, and sighed. Fifteen missed calls from Unicorn, aka Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool.

"Well answer it Mr. Parker. You know the rule," Mr. Harrison said while giving Peter a pointed look. Peter scrunched his face. Yeah. He knew the rule. If your phone rings in class you had to answer it on speaker in front of everyone. Peter knew protesting was futile but he couldn't help but try.

"You really don't want to hear what he has to say," Peter said feebly. But Mr. Harrison continued to stare at him. As did the rest of his classmates. Peter sighed and answered the sixteenth call, putting it on speaker before speaking.

"Hey Wade. You're on speaker so behave," Peter said in a no nonsense tone. Of course the man on the other end didn't care.

"Or what? You'll spank me?" Wade didn't hesitate to say the line, just like Peter didn't hesitate to hang up. He was given disapproving looks from his teacher and shocked looks from his classmates but Peter didn't care. A few seconds later his phone rang again and he put it back on speaker. "Okay I'll behave," was the first thing Wade said.

"What do you want? You know I'm in class right now," Peter hoped that would be enough to get Wade to end the call. Naturally he hoped for too much.

"Just wondering if you wanted to catch a movie with me tonight!" Wade announced, much to the disbelieving looks from the entire room.

"You called me sixteen times to invite me to a movie?" Peter questioned. He wasn't even surprised.

"Of course! You're just so cute and innocent that I want to kidnap you at any chance I get. Except your dads, aunts, and uncles would kill me. They even have a list for who goes in what order. Which means I have to ask you and be all proper about our dates. So? Movie?" Wade asked. Peter could feel the puppy dog eyes through the phone and sighed again.

"Nothing R or M rated."

"It isn't! Promise!"

"Fine. I'll text Aunt May and tell her."

"Ooh! And don't forget your dad," Wade announced in a singsong voice.

"He's not my dad. And if I tell him who I'm going to the movies with he will undoubtedly try to behead you again," Peter ignored the looks his classmates were giving him. He didn't have the energy to care right now. He just wanted the call to be over so he could get back to his homework.

"Meh. Didn't work last time," Wade's voice was cheerful and carefree. Peter mouthed to Ned that he'd explain later.

"Is there anything else?" Peter asked raising an eyebrow. Yes he knew Wade couldn't see it. Didn't matter.

"Nope. We can grab dinner first, my treat, and then we can spend the whole movie making out in the back," Wade was using his mischievous tone. The tone that told Peter he was just messing with the others in the room.

"Just for that you are sitting a minimum of three seats away from me." Peter ignored the weirded out looks his teacher and classmates were giving his phone.

"But sweetie! How am I supposed to cuddle you during the scary parts?" And the weirded out looks have upgraded to extremely weirded out.

"Bring your unicorn plushie. Just keep your hands to yourself."

"Then I'll just use my mouth," Wade said in a singsong voice, "Don't need any hands for a good blowjob." Peter grimaced at the thought. He knew Wade wouldn't ever do that to him but did he have to say things like that when he knew Peter's class could hear every word? He didn't want to deal with the rumors that this call would bring.

"Keep it up and I'll tell Tony. I also won't make anymore chimichangas for you," Peter went for the low blow, yes, but let's call it karma for the blowjob comment.

"Ouch. Sunshine. Right in the balls. I promise I'll behave! Just don't take away my chimichangas!" Wade actually sounded panicked at the thought and Peter knew he had won the argument.

"Good. Now I'm hanging up. I still have to finish my science homework. I'll meet you at the sandwich place," Peter said.

"Kk! Bye Petey Pie!" Peter knew Wade was waving at the phone before he hung up. Peter dreaded looking at his classmates but he had to. Instantly his face flushed at the stares they were giving him.

"I warned you that you didn't want to hear what he had to say. Just be happy he was relatively tame this time," Peter said to his teacher. "He's usually a lot more vulgar. I think he only held himself back because he really wanted to go to the movies. I'm pretty sure he wants to watch that new zombie romance. Though I could be wrong and he wants to see Frozen. It's hard to say with Wade," Peter mused. He then realized he was rambling. "Anyway! No we aren't dating. I'm just his only actual friend so he likes to hang out with me when he's around. He just takes some getting used to before he stops being creepy," Peter explained. With that, he turned back to his assignment, phone in his pocket, and refusing to look at anyone for the rest of the class. He was secretly looking forward to hanging out with Wade though. Tony refused to let him even remotely close to Peter.

Just watched Far From Home when I had the idea for this and I couldn't help it. Granted, my idea was for Harley, Natasha, and then Deadpool but meh. At that point I had just decided I was gonna do a phone call for as many MCU people I could think of. Deadpool was my most planned (cause I was joking around and talking to my friend about it) so he was written first.

So I read this thing online that writing out the dialogue first and then going back and adding the details makes writing a million times easier. I one hundred percent agree with it.

I have two other chapters ready and will post them immediately after this one. Who knows, you guys might even get the fourth chapter I'm working on posted tonight. Depends on how long I stay writing on my computer.

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