Disclaimer: Since I don't have much ideas or willpower for long, 2k-5k per chapter stories, I'm doing this! Who knows it might be better for ideas.

This is the first installment of a bunch of quick shots. hehe, Quick shots. Guess my puns came around faster than I t- agh! Why is this cane around my neck!? H-help HEEEE-

(Hopefully, this style works in writing form too)

BEEEEEEP

Who do you like?

A Succubus and Kobold have been arguing over the same guy for a while now, and have tried each their own attacks to woo him. So far, he has dodged each question asked to him and avoided each attempt, whether it be a potion, aggressive hugging, or a medieval trap(yes this happened). This time, however, they are fed up and now they are going to ask him once and for all! Will he pick the Kobold? Will he pick the Succubus? Oh, the tension and suspense!

"We are tired of running after you master!" Says the kobold, spinning him in his chair. Surprised, he quickly stopped his game and put down his controller, facing himself to stare back at the demonic eyes of the Succubus and the giant cute pupil eyes of the Kobold. They both glared with longing.

"So who will it be?" Said the succubus, putting her hips at her side and swinging her tail seductively. The Kobold caught on quickly and sat down, pulling her cute try to lure the guy. He tapped his lap as he looked back and forth between the two, deciding who to go. This goes on for a few minutes before he nods and breaths in, getting ready to say who he will go on to be with. They both leaned in, each praying to the Fallen God that she would be chosen for her perfect soulmate.

"I...choose...this game!" He said as he turned back around to play some more League of Legends, humming pleasantly while the two mamono are left, trying to process what just happened?

"Did he just...choose a game over us?"

"I...think he did..."

(Long pause)

BEEEEEEP

Roommate~

"So, are you ready for your new roommate Jake?" The mother said as she and Jake were cleaning the basement. They had renovated it a few months earlier, but a week after that a letter came in the mail about a foreign exchange student coming to stay with Jake and his family for a few months. Being the very nice family that they are(and after some conversation about Jake having to possibly share his toys), Jake took it with pride and decided to do it. For the toys!

Besides, he was in 4th grade now. It was time he took off his baby jammies and put on his big boy pants, and he was ready to move on to the big boy pants. Sharing will definitely prove that, especially to the uncles that keep hugging him and making baby faces at him. Yuck!

Ding dong! That was the bell boys.

"It looks like your roommate is here Jake." His mom said as he ran towards the door, excited to see who his buddy is! Maybe they can go outside and play! Maybe he can show him his awesome hot wheels set his dad gave him! Oh boy, the door's opening, he's jumping up and down and...

Wait why is her skin blue like a blueberry slushie?

"H-hi" she said to him as she hid her mouth behind the sleeve of her kimono. She looked to be the same height as him, and the same age too. In fact, she was the same age as him. Jake's first thought was that he got an alien, which was gross. Wait a second, aliens are cool!

"Wanna play with my toy's?" he said, pointing to his hot wheels packed neatly in the corner of the living room. She nodded and took his hand as Jake both lead him to the toys. In mere moments(and a few notes on how to properly make vrom vrom noises), they were busy giggling and playing away. Jake's mother and father chuckled to each other as the mother of the blue-skinned mamono came up, with her own and the child's suitcase of clothing.

"You must be Yonni, the mother." Jake's mom said to Yonni, holding her hand out. "And you are the Carol I presume. Tom told me about you on the car ride here. Thank you again for taking me and Honna in for this. You made the renovations?"

"Yep, running with the best AC, just how you err...Yuki-onna's like it. Do you think she and Jake will get along?"

"Oh, I'm sure they will..." Yonni said, staring at Jake excited for the future

BEEEEEEP

Frontierman

Rockefeller, as he grew up, wrote and updated a specific will for his rivals, should he die before them. His last update was that Juliana have Melisa care for his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren when he was gone. Carnegie also went this route, mostly to share a laugh with his rival over some fine wine on an evening. Honoring her valid rivals, she did the only sensible thing that would work.

...Make Melisa forever young. Besides, she had to do this anyways. Could you imagine living longer than the person that you have exclusively serve you for their entire life? What an insult to their servitude.

Currently, Melisa was babysitting Abby and Louise(Actually names of descendants from Google), the wyvern grandchild and the gremlin grandchild respectively. At first, she was confused about why this was done to her, but she had come to accept the caring for children, managing to do that and serve her mistress at the same time. Edison and Morgan helped a bit with the inventions and materials and playthings, but it still was a fulltime job during the times when the real parents were busy managing their ancestor's wealth, or doing rich people stuff. Mostly the latter.

"Storytime storytime!" Chimed both as they giggled and waves their hands at Melisa from their luxurious twin beds. Melisa tiredly picked the toddlers up and went to the chair she sits in for telling tales. Abby flapped her wings just enough to float down to the ground, Louise sliding down her arm like a fireman pole instead to plop onto the floor beside Abby. They both quieted down and waited, completely still for the oncoming excitement. Melisa smiled softly and cleared her throat as she started to talk.

"Today, we will go back in time to a place, long before me or Morgan, before all the greats of our beautiful chaotic time."

"The very first demon lord!?" The both pipped up, excited for that story. She shook her head and laughed. "Oh imagine if I was that old you younglings...no, this will be a different story."

"A story about...frontiermen."

BEEEEEEP

Forbidden Stuff

Door is kicked down as a random police officer comes in "FBI you and your Baphomet are under arrest!" He points the gun at the dude and the baphy holding their hands up, while The Office continued to play on the TV they were formally watching.

"But officer, he didn't do anything to me I swear!" said the Baphomet, getting up and walking into plan sight. She had on a dress that covered her entire body and no sign of illegal activity going on. Not even a scratch.

"See? Nothing!" Said the guy. He also had nothing showing that proved of any illegal activity. The officer looked up and down in every crevice of the house, but found nothing lewd and out of the ordinary. Heck, the most sexual thing there was Micheal making another joke in the episode playing.

"Ok, it looks like you both are completely c- wait what are you doing with your hands?" He pointed his gun at them, as the raised their hands up again, except now they were holding hands while the others were up.

"But officer-"

"No butts no cuts no coco puffs now get on the ground now before I shoot your goddamn hands off!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"AHHH this is officer counterstrike we got a 4-7 going down in the residence quadrant Alpha Charlie Zulu requesting immediate backup AHHHHHHH"

(More chaotic sounds and random gunfire

BEEEEEEP

Holstaur Youtube Video

"They call me milky, cause they milk m- wait h-hubby what are you doing? N-no wait don't touch there yet I'm still recording my funny video-o-o-a-ah-ah!~ oh, sempai your hands feel so good on me! Ooh...oh gods...oh I can feel it coming out...oh yes...oh...oh yes..."

Plot twist the holster is actually just getting a back massage from her husband because her back had been kind of stiff lately. What? Oh, you thought he was touching the...oh...oh wow...like wow you are such a perv...smh horny bast-

BEEEEEEP

Kill it with slippers

"What the fuck are you!?" Said the teenager dual wielding her mom's slippers. She was going into the garage to get her dolls and soccer balls when she had found the most peculiar thing - A Jorou-Gumo sleeping in the darkness of the garage, and the attic left open with webs connected to the stairs. As she yelled the thing, the Arachne opened her eye and stared at the girl, yawning and standing up on her six spider legs. "You woke my up during my 9 pm nap...what are you doing in my house young one?"

"Your house!? My and my mom and my dad live here!"

"Oh? Well then, I guess we can't let them know what we are doing from now on...shame you woke me up during my more devious hours~" The spider started to approach, eager to wrap her 'prey' up for sadistic play. "Oh, you are approaching me?" Said the teenager, puffing up her chest. "Instead of running away, you are coming, right at me? Even though I'm sure you have heard from many insects and spiders who had told you the secret of my mom's power, like a spider scrambling to warn the others before it becomes squashed by its final foot?"

"I can't trap that beautifully faked tough girl act without getting closer~" She continued her slow approach, webbing starting to appear on her fingers.

"Oh ho, then come as close as you like to your demise." The girl said, wielding her slippers like blades as she walked down the garage steps, walking at the same pace to the showdown of the lifetime. The distance continued to close down, any chance of backing shrinking more and more. 5 steps, 4 steps, 3 steps, 2 steps...

"Daisy! Are you watching Jojo again? You better not be breaking anything with all the quoting!" Yelled her mom, the feeling of the threat of harsh punishment by the one true god running through both their spines. They both looked at each other scared and nodded, the spider girl quickly writing a note to the teenager and retreating to the safety of the attic, while the girl got her dolls and quickly left the garage before the mother could punish her, and the spider if seen. Once in a safe place, Daisy read the note.

'Come back l8r for fun times?~'

BEEEEEEP

Hello! I'm am the Danuki that ran this episode and I have come to say I hope you have enjoyed these shorts and see you in my next installment of "I'm awesome and rich".

Oh, I mean um...wait does this have a name?

"Well, no boss but-"

You're fired. Give me all your shit.

"But I'm not even in that department!"

Oh, you're right...I still want all your shit, and your family's shit. Now.