This is the piece I wrote for the Commander in Chief Contest. It won two judge's favorite awards. I really enjoyed writing this and hope you enjoy reading it. If anyone wants to do a banner for this or any of my stories, PLEASE contact me. I don't have the talent necessary to make that kind of art.

Many thanks to Sally Hopkins for stepping in as beta on this one as Edwardsfirstkiss was participating in the contest and couldn't help me out this time.

Summary: The President of the Forks Valley Home Owners' Association is a buttoned up, pearl choker wearing stickler for the rules. She secretly dreams of losing control at the hands of a man who doesn't play by the rules. Lucky for her, she just got a new neighbor.

Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight and her characters. I make them wear pearl chokers and ride around in golf carts!

Forks Valley HOA

"No, no, no. That will simply not do. The rules of the HOA state very clearly that you cannot install a clothesline in your backyard."

"Bella, you're being ridiculous. First, the line is only up when I'm drying clothes. Secondly, my lilac bushes hide it from the street and thirdly, I'm saving electricity. It's good for the environment."

"Rules are rules." Bella Swan, president of the Forks Valley, Home Owner's Association replied sweetly, shaking her head hard enough that her high ponytail swung wildly back and forth around her shoulders.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I was your grandmother's best friend. I changed your diapers!"

Bella ignored Mrs. Cope's arguments. Rules were rules. "Shelley, if the HOA made an exception for your clothesline, the next thing you know there will be dog poop on every lawn and Christmas lights up before Thanksgiving," Bella answered quickly before handing the elderly woman an official Forks Valley HOA ticket of compliance. "You have twenty-four hours to take it down and become compliant." With a swish of her ponytail, Bella hopped back into her HOA-provided golf cart and drove away, completely missing the lewd hand gesture the woman she considered a pseudo- grandmother was flashing behind her back.

Rows of neatly trimmed lawns flew past as she drove down the smooth road. Rose bushes bloomed with various hues of red, pink, yellow and purples in nearly every yard along with decorated birdbaths and artistically placed rocks. As she drove through her picture-perfect neighborhood, Bella looked for anything out of place. A garbage can still sitting at the curb after the morning pick up, flower gardens in need of weeding, children's toys left to lay out higgledy piggledy in yards and driveways-anything that didn't conform to the HOA rules.

Just as she suspected, every home looked just like the last.

Perfect.

Bella smiled and congratulated herself on running a tight ship.

The wheels of her cart squealed as she came to a skidding stop in the driveway of Rosalie Hale. Rose lived at 1106 Poe. Her two-story house was a pale yellow with gray-bluish trim with tidy seasonal flower gardens laid out attractively alongside the front of her house. Jacob Clearwater, the sixteen-year-old that lived at 2511 Twain, was mowing her lawn while his fourteen-year-old brother, Seth ran the edger and cleaned up the clippings. The Clearwater brothers were one set of siblings who were HOA approved to work the lawns of Forks Valley. Between the Clearwater boys and the Lahote sisters, Leah and Emily, the neighborhood looked like one of those poster billboards from the fifties and sixties that depicted the perfect neighborhood to live in and raise a family.

"Hey, Bella!" Seth greeted with a wave as Jacob gave her a crisp salute from his position on the red Troy-Bilt 382cc mower. Bella was quick to note that both boys were wearing the HOA-prescribed uniform for lawn work of long pants, Forks Valley branded tee shirts, and closed-toed shoes.

Bella waved back before letting herself into Rose's, thirty-two hundred square foot house.

"Is that you, Bella?" Rose's voice called from the kitchen.

"Hey," Bella replied, taking a seat at Rose's immaculate breakfast bar. "Your lawn looks great."

Rose lifted her beautifully coifed blonde head from her oven, as she lifted a pan of perfectly baked chocolate chip cookies. "Those boys do a great job, don't they?"

"Cookie?" Rose asked, offering Bella a plate of cooled cookies. Bella took one cookie, placing it carefully on the delicately hand-painted dessert plate. Rose placed a tall glass of lemonade in front of her friend.

"I'll be right back," Rose said, picking up the tray of cookies and two glasses of lemonade, before walking out to the front yard.

Bella scarfed down her one cookie and then eyed the plate of unguarded cookies. "No Bella, just eat one cookie. Just one. Not two, just one. Remember the rules. Control yourself," her inner voice scolded.

To remove temptation, Bella took her glass of lemonade and moved to the living room. She watched through the large and spotless picture window as Rose treated the two Clearwater boys to cookies and lemonade. The boys and Rose chatted as they ate their snack.

"So, did you take care of Cope?" Rose asked, placing her tray of delightful temptations onto the table right in front of her friend.

"Yes. I gave her twenty-four hours to take it down."

"Wow, a whole twenty-four hours? You're letting her off easy." Rose laughed.

Bella fixed her friend with a pointed stare. "Hey, you're the one who turned her in!"

Rose snorted, running her immaculately manicured hand through her long hair. "Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before someone informed Sergeant Swan about the infraction."

"You sure it wasn't payback for her voting against you hosting the last block party?" Bella asked with a smirk.

Rose's blue eyes turned a shade darker as she commented. "She's just jealous of my superior planning skills," she said, crossing her long legs. "Plus, she knows everyone loves my fried chicken more than hers," she added with a huff.

Bella laughed at her friend. Rose had a long-held belief that her great-grandmother Hale's buttermilk- brined fried chicken was Master Chef quality. Bella had to admit it was pretty damn good.

"Regardless, the clothesline is against the rules. It had to go."

~~~FVHOA~~~

Twilight was settling on Forks Valley as Bella left her friend and made her way home. The light of the setting sun cast an orange and pink glow over the picturesque neighborhood. Bella waved to her neighbors as they walked their dogs. She made sure to notice that they all had bags of some kind to pick up any droppings. Per the HOA rules.

Bella pulled her cart into her two-car garage, parking it next to her freshly washed and detailed Volvo XC40. As she opened the door into her house, she glanced back and took in her garage space, quickly making sure that everything was in place. Satisfied that everything was where it was supposed to be, she opened her door and entered the home left to her by her grandmother.

Upon entering her home, she was immediately, greeted by her Pomeranian, Pikachu. Pikachu danced around her feet as she walked into the kitchen. "How was your day, Pik?" she asked, filling his little water and food dishes. Bella paused to watch her six-pound dog dive right into his bowl. Their reunion taking a backseat to his love for food.

"Nice talking to you." She sighed and moved onto the refrigerator to get her own dinner. Chocolate chip cookie guilt laid heavy in her stomach, causing her to bypass the leftover chicken enchiladas, and settled on a green leafy salad.

Bella rinsed her bowl and put it into the dishwasher. She then decided to put in an hour or two of work. As a medical billing and coding specialist, Bella had the luxury to work whenever she wanted, as much or as little as she desired. As long as the codes were correct and in on time, Bella was her own boss.

After finishing work for the night, she wiped down the counters, swept the floors and poured herself a glass of Moscato, adding two ice cubes for dilution. Grandma Swan always said a lady should never drink to "sloppy level". The ice cubes diluted her drink just enough that it would last the rest of the evening making it unnecessary for another glass. Bella took her wine and settled onto her couch to continue reading her latest book. For the next two hours, she lost herself in a fantasy world of passionate embraces, heated glances and rough and tumble heroes who scoffed at the law and faced insurmountable odds to get back to their ladies.

At nine forty- five sharp. Bella closed her book, and took her wine glass into the kitchen where it joined her salad bowl in the dishwasher. She let Pikachu out into her fenced yard so he could do his business before bed. In exactly eight minutes, he arrived back at the door. Together they made the rounds through her house, turning off lights and checking the locks. Pikachu's little nails clicked loudly in the quiet house. By ten o'clock, her teeth were brushed, her face washed and her hair had been brushed before being put back into a ponytail. The last thing Bella did before climbing into bed was to take off her grandmother's pearls. "Goodnight Grandma. I love you." Bella murmured as she closed the lid to her grandmother's jewelry box. She reached down to pat Pikachu goodnight as he settled into his doggy bed and then got into her own.

Bella instructed 'Alexa' to set her alarm for seven a.m. and then asked her to turn off the light. Darkness settled over her bedroom and Bella ended another day in Forks Valley.

~~~FVHOA~~~

"Beep, beep, beep, beep."

"Alexa turn off the alarm." Bella scrubbed a hand over her face, yawned, threw back the covers and got out of bed. Pikachu yawned from his bed and watched his roommate walk into the bathroom. He knew breakfast came after his human wetted herself. He figured he had another twenty minutes to snooze.

In exactly nineteen minutes and thirty-eight seconds, Bella reappeared from her bathroom freshly showered. Her ponytail was high on her head and her pearls were wound around her neck.

Bella Swan was ready to start her day.

Bella checked her email while she ate breakfast-one piece of whole-wheat toast and oatmeal with blueberries. There were a couple of noise complaints, an accusation regarding a possibly stolen newspaper, and an idea for this year's block party theme.

"It looks like another beautiful day in the neighborhood," she sang to Pikachu. He lifted his little head to glance at her but immediately went right back to eating his Kibbles n' Bits. Bella sighed at her dog's inattention and once again wondered why she didn't just get a cat.

With her laundry washed, dried and folded, dishes washed and put away, garden harvested and weeded, Bella set out upon her rounds.

"Helloooo, Mr. Banner. Don't forget to blow those clippings off the sidewalk," Bella called out cheerfully as she passed.

"Mrs. Westbrook, don't forget to get those tricycles put away. We can't have our driveways looking like a junkyard." Bella smiled to herself as the cool breeze rushed through her hair.

"Mr. Bauer, it's a little early to be putting out flags for the Fourth of July. The HOA rules clearly state that 'No holiday lawn decorations be put out until the holiday is within seven days of the actual date of the holiday and all decorations are to be removed within five days after the holiday has passed. With the exception of ten days for Christmas.'" Bella smiled as she instructed her neighbor on proper lawn decoration etiquette.

"But I'm going to be at my daughter's house for the fourth and won't be home until after the holiday. It's just a little over a week early and they're American flags. What do you have against patriotism?" The frustrated man pled his case to the stony-faced Bella.

"Jack, you know I have the utmost respect for our soldiers and their sacrifices. My own father is a man of the law. You also know I respect rules. And it's my job to enforce the HOA rules. What would happen if we all did whatever we wanted? Do you want anarchy in the neighborhood?" Bella scolded the older man as one would a child.

"I don't see how my twelve little American flags equals anarchy? And I don't appreciate your condescending tone, young lady," Mr. Bauer retorted.

The smile that had been affixed on Bella's face slowly disappeared. "Well then, I guess you can file a complaint with the president of the HOA for review." Bella turned quickly on her heel and retreated to her golf cart.

"But you're the president!" His last statement was unheard by the very woman it was directed at.

Bella hadn't gotten more than half a block from the contentious Mr. Bauer before her cell phone rang.

"Bella, where are you?" Alice Brandon squealed.

"Geez, Alice, tone it down. I don't want to add you to my noise complaints."

"For the love of…Where are you?"

"I'm just turning off of Smiley, why?" Her question was met with another squeal from Alice.

"Yes! Get over here now! There are people moving furniture in and out of Elizabeth Platt's house. MEN type of people. New neighbors!"

"Alice, calm down. I haven't received any new requests to approve new neighbors. Perhaps she's just getting a new couch?" Bella tried to calm down her over- excited friend. Alice had been single for the last two years and was known to become overly excited when in the presence of eligible men.

"Whatever! Just get over here!" Bella rolled her eyes as Alice abruptly hung up. She turned left and headed over to 2508 Hemingway, where her friend and apparently a couple of hot furniture movers, were waiting.

Bella's cart came to a halt next to Alice's prized hydrangea bush. After her divorce, Alice had been babying the large flowering bush for years as if it were her, well, baby. It had flourished under her care and now offered blue balls of petals the size of softballs. Bella carefully turned to walk around the bush toward Alice's front door when a tiny but freakishly strong hand, gripped her arm and pulled her down to hide behind the behemoth shrub.

"Holy crap, Alice!" Bella exclaimed as she was pulled to her knees beside her grinning friend.

"Quiet! They'll hear you," Alice warned, turning her head away from Bella to resume what could only be assumed was spying on the furniture movers.

"For cripes sakes! What is so importa-"

"-What did I miss?" Shocked, Bella looked over to see Rose slinking out of Alice's house. She was crouched down low carrying three glasses of dark red-colored liquid Bella hoped was Rose's famous sangria. "Here," Rose muttered, shoving a glass into Bella and Alice's hands before shuffling over to take her spot next to Alice.

"Well, Bear Man hefted a whole dresser out of the house by himself and Cowboy brought out two chairs." Both women giggled and took a sip of their drinks, turning to look back toward Mrs. Platt's house. Bella shook her head and was delighted to learn that her glass did indeed contain sangria.

"Damn! I bet his muscles practically bulged right out of his skin," Rose mused with wide eyes and a goofy grin.

"Sure, sure, but Cowboy's thighs were practically pornographic." Alice moaned and licked her lips.

Bella rolled her eyes at the nonsense being perpetrated by her friends and greedily sipped her drink while watching her friends ogle the two men who were across the street and down two houses.

"Why are we hiding?" Bella asked and was then quickly shushed by the two lushes hiding in the bushes.

"Beeeecuuuuse we're hiding," Rose answered matter-of-factly, slurping her wine.

"Obviously, you're hiding. Why are you hiding?" Bella tried to break through to her tipsy friend before standing up and pointing toward the house they were surveilling.

"What the hell-?" Rose squealed and tried to grab Bella while trying not to spill her drink.

"-You're going to ruin it!" Alice yelled, jumping up to tug on Bella's arm, determined to get her to return to crouching like a juvenile delinquent hiding from the police.

It was too late. Alice may be a diminutive five foot two inches tall, but her voice carried like a hulking carnival barker's. Bella guessed that Alice's vocal ability was an asset in her line of work as an auctioneer. Even though she dealt in mostly high-end antiques and artwork, where the clientele were hardly people you would yell at, you'd swear you were at a local farm auction with as loud as that woman was. Before Bella shushed Alice, both men turned and pointed to where the girls were huddled behind the giant hydrangea bush.

"Crap sticks!" Alice exclaimed.

"What? Are they coming? Pleashe shay the pretttttty mens are coming." Rose's slurred words brought a smile to Bella's lips. While Bella took great pains not to become sloppy, her friends did not. Rose had once been the dutiful wife of an up and coming lawyer who controlled almost every aspect of her life. And when it came to light that he had been double billing his clients while also sending money to his secret wife and family in San Diego, Rose dropped him like a hot rock and vowed to never give up control of her life again. Rose's career as a real estate agent required her to keep a friendly and somewhat straight face as she moved about the community. So, a slightly tipsy Rose was not to be missed. Especially for the embarrassment points Bella would gain when bringing up such events at later dates.

Before Bella could inform her tipsy friend that they'd been discovered, the two men in question were standing in front of their fragrant hideout.

"Well, lookie here Jasper," the burlier of the two men said. " This bush grows more than just pretty blue flowers."

"Well, we need to get us one of these for Edward's yard." Bella was knocked aside as Alice swooned to the side when the blond man spoke.

"Hi there, bear man." Rose waggled her fingers at the big guy. Her usually perfectly coifed hair had been done in a tight chignon, but through her drunken antics, it had come loose and was now hanging off to one side. She had a giant smile planted on her face that was showing a mouth full of dark red -wine- stained lips.

Both men burst into laughter. Alice and Rose joined, though it was doubtful whether they understood that the two strangers were laughing at them. Bella, ever the proper lady, untangled herself from Alice's limbs, stood up and held out her hand to the one Rose's bear man identified as Jasper. "I'm Isabella Swan, Forks Valley Home Owners Association President." She properly introduced herself. Jasper politely shook her offered hand.

"Jasper Whitlock. Pleasure to meet you." Alice's giggles resumed over Jasper's obvious southern drawl.

"Emmett McCarty, all-state offensive lineman for two years, senior-year homecoming king, and vice president of local chapter seventy-four of the Betty White fan club. Damn glad to meet ya!" Bella's hand was immediately grasped by the over-sharing, dimpled man who pumped her hand enthusiastically.

"Um, okay." Bella muttered, extracting her hand as politely as she could manage.

Emmett moved away from Bella to stand in front of the swaying, Rose,

"So, ladies, mind telling us what you're doing?" Emmett asked, putting his dimples on display with a wide smile.

"We were hiding!" Rose exclaimed, happily. She swatted coquettishly at his arm. Bella held in her laughter for propriety's sake.

"Oh, really?" Emmett asked. "Why were you hiding?"

"Because Bella would have written us up for sitting out in the front yard with our boobs out." Emmett and Jasper erupted into laughter at Rose's statement. A confused Rose looked to Alice for an explanation, but Alice just shrugged and took another large sip of her wine.

"Booze, Rose. I would write you up for being drunk on the front lawn." Bella mentally face palmed over Rose's correct, yet incorrect statement.

"Puhleeeeeze, you would soooo write me up if my boobs waaaas out." Rose explained in a slur.

"You're right," Alice said pointing at Rose and then pointing at Bella. "She's right. You would totally write up our boobs. You wrote up old lady Cope and she was like a second grandma to you."

"Rose turned her in!" Bella explained with a huff.

The two strange men's eyes bounced excitedly between the bickering women. Their amusement clearly evident on their faces

"That's it. The boobs are coming out!" Emmett's eyes widened in excitement as Rose began to undo the first couple buttons of her blouse. Her generous D-cups threatened to escape from their tight cotton prison.

"Oh. My. God! You two are cut off!" Bella reached over and took their glasses, eliciting a whine from Alice and a muttered "bitch" from Rose.

"Emmett, Jasper, it was lovely to meet you," Bella said as she hurriedly began pulling her sloshy friends away from the bush and back toward Alice's front door. "We'll let you get back to moving in Mrs. Platt's new furniture."

Emmett looked quizzically at Jasper and then back to Bella, who was now pushing her friends into the house before uttering, "You got it wrong, B, Edward is moving in. G'ma Platt is moving out."

~~~FVHOA~~~

Bella's golf cart glided easily over the smooth asphalt as she drove towards 2413 Hemingway. The eight a.m. crisp morning air felt invigorating. Sitting securely beside her was her binder of the official Forks Valley HOA regulations. Her hair was gleaming as it tapered down from the high pony tail atop her head to the middle if her back. For the occasion, she'd chosen to wear Grandma Swan's pearls wrapped several times around her throat as an attractive choker accessory to her tan capris and Kelly-green polo shirt. She patted the pearls and took a deep breath as the Platt home came into view. "Here we go Grandma."

Bella reached up and tightened her ponytail, grabbed the HOA manual and made her way towards the front door. She immediately noticed the absence of the HOA-approved dried flower wreath that had hung on Elizabeth Platt's front door for the last eight years. Being absent only for the pre-lit Christmas wreath of holly and red berries and Halloween wreath of orange, purple, and black cat cutouts, also HOA approved. Today, the door stood oddly unadorned.

The doorbell rang out three times. Bella waited the proper ten seconds between each ring. Just as her grandmother had taught her. When the door didn't open and there was no "Just a moment" that was accepted in polite circles as an indication that the person being sought was on their way, Bella waited another thirty seconds and then started the process over. After waiting several minutes, Bella gave up on the polite method and pounded loudly on the door.

After the second series of pounding, she heard a loud, "Stop the goddamn pounding!"

With stronger resolve, she balled her fist back up and went to knock again. Just as her fist was about to meet the door it was wrenched open.

"Someone better be on fucking fire for you to be pounding on my door this goddamn early!" Bella stepped back in astonishment. Standing before her was not the bathrobe-wearing figure of Elizabeth Platt. In her place, was a tall, bushy-haired man wearing only what appeared to be a kilt.

Bella's eyes widened to cartoonish proportions as she took in the imposing figure before her.

"Where's the fire?" the half-naked man asked with a raised eyebrow and a bored look on his handsome face.

"Huh?" Bella managed to force out between being offended by the man's near nakedness and being entranced by his cut glass-like green eyes.

The man let out a bored sigh before leaning on the doorframe, crossing his tan arms over his toned chest. "What do you want?" His brusque question reminded Bella what the purpose was for her early Saturday morning visit.

"Um, I need to speak to Mrs. Platt," she said, dragging her eyes away from his naked chest. Her fingers itched to drag through the smattering of dark hair that resided over his pecs, tapering down to his slim hips where the beginning of a V was visible.

"Grandma isn't here," The disheveled, handsome stranger answered, running an impossibly long fingered-hand through his unruly bedhead.

"When will she return? I need to speak to her about the rumor that someone is moving into her house." Bella attempted to regain the composure due an HOA President.

The mostly nude man eyed Bella in a slow roll starting at her cute pink Keds, up her white capris, to rest for a long moment on her chest that was encased in an official Forks Valley HOA polo shirt, to finally rest on her widened in surprise eyes. Bella was not used to being looked at in such an overt manner. Before she could comment, naked man spoke. "It's no rumor, cookie, I live here now, and Grandma Platt is sunning herself on the beaches of Fort Meyers, Florida."

"She can't do that!" Bella exclaimed, waving her arms. There was protocol. Applications to make and approvals to receive before a new person could take up residence in Forks Valley. Bella clutched her beloved rule book close to her chest.

"It's done," he answered with a bored shrug.

Bella's mouth fell open in stunned silence as he reached down to unashamedly scratch/grab his crotch.

The unapproved house dweller's eyebrow lifted at Bella's obvious stare.

"See something you like, cookie?"

"What? No! I was …"

"Aroused?"

"No!"

"Interested?"

"Absolutely not!" Bella could feel her face redden at his assertion she was checking out what looked to be quite a considerable package.

"Hmmm, my bad," he said, pushing off the doorjamb to stand squarely in the doorframe. His kilt, now determined to be a thin towel that was patterned like a kilt, swayed slightly open with his movement, revealing a length of bare muscular thigh. "Well, if we're done here, I've got things to see and people to do. Thanks for stopping by, cookie."

Bella's ponytail swished back with the force of the door closing in her face. Stunned, Bella stood on the doorstep for several moments trying to absorb what had just happened.

In the five years since Bella had been voted in as the President of the Home Owner's Association, she'd never had a door slammed in her face. She'd been talked to sternly, once a little French bulldog, named "Frenchie" was told to pee on her pristine white Keds-all for telling Frenchie's owner that her rose bushes needed trimming. But she'd NEVER had a door unceremoniously slammed in her face.

"How rude! And my name isn't Cookie!" she called out to the closed door.

Bella stomped to her waiting golf cart. Her beloved rules manual fell to the floor as her cart jerked into gear.

Bella muttered general condemnations as she traveled back to her home.

"Who does he think he is? How dare he say those things to me!" Her ranting continued as she powered up her computer. Finding Elizabeth Platt's mobile phone number, she quickly dialed the number, suddenly energized to speak to the absent woman.

"Hello," the cheerful voice called out.

"Mrs. Platt, this is Bella Swan. I would -"

"Oh, hello, dear. What can I do for you?"

"I would like to talk to you about your grandson -"

"Oh, you met Edward. He's such a lovely boy." Edward. That was the rude man's name. Bella vaguely remembered Rose's bear man mentioning his name the night before.

"About that. Edward told me you no longer live at the house and that -"

"Yes, I've moved to Florida. My sister has been bragging for years about all of the available men in her hoity-toity senior citizen village. So, I thought I would find out for myself. I must say, I've been pleasantly surprised by the yummy man candy." Bella grimaced at Old Lady Platt's girlish giggle. Yuck!

"Ma'am, you didn't file an eight-ten form." Bella's fingers almost lovingly caressed the aforementioned form.

"The what?" Bella repeated her statement.

"Oh, it's not necessary. He owns the house." Bella immediately scrolled down the file looking for the owner of record.

"I'm sorry but you're the only one listed, therefore he must be approved to live here, and I can tell you, we've had several complaints about his behavior -"

"Bella, I'm going to stop you right there. My grandson has been listed as co-owner of my house since he turned eighteen years old. I don't care what your records say he's a co-owner per Forks Bank and Trust, and as such by the HOA rules, he doesn't have to be approved again." Mrs. Platt's voice lost all traces of the girlish tone as she schooled Bella.

"Ummmm …" Bella quickly scanned through the HOA rulebook looking for this ridiculous rule.

"Your grandmother knew about it. I don't know why your records don't show, it and frankly, I don't care. Edward lives there now, and I've got single, tanned, and slightly saggy booty to chase. Good day, dear." For the second time in less than an hour, Bella Swan was stunned silent.

~~~FVHOA~~~

"It looks like a done deal. You're stuck, toots." Rose offered with a shoulder shrug.

"Thanks for the input." Sarcasm dripped thickly from Bella's lips.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger."

"Please. You're just hoping the grizzly dude comes back around."

"His name is Emmett." Rose huffed, giving Bella an annoyed side-eye glance. Bella knew Rose had made contact with the object of her affection.

"Whatever." Bella turned from her blonde friend and returned to stirring up a batch of her famous cherry-chocolate cupcakes.

"What's the big deal?" Alice asked, returning from the bathroom to sit on the stool next to Rose.

"The big deal, Mary Alice, is that I was not informed of this change, and I'm not altogether sure it's legal under the HOA rules!" Alice rolled her eyes and looked to Rose.

"Her panties are in a bunch because she wasn't informed that a super hottie was moving in to Old Lady Platt's house? Seriously?" Alice asked. "Lord save us from young, tan, and toned men. Men who don't smell like Ben Gay, who don't yell at toddlers for riding their tricycles too fast on the sidewalk. Men who don't offer me extensive, unsolicited advice on how to get a thicker and greener lawn. Men who don't ask me to pull their finger, or invite me over for dinner for a quaint hand of bridge. Because God knows how much I like to play bridge!"

"I don't believe I care for your sarcasm," Bella retorted, taking out a tray of finished cupcakes.

"I don't believe I give a shit!" Alice retorted. "For the first time since my fuck face ex and I moved here, there are eligible men in the neighborhood I would actually consider sexing. And I'm not going to let you ruin it!" Alice exclaimed, shaking her fist at Bella.

"Sing it, sister!" Rose added, giving Alice a high five.

"Good God, I'm not going to ruin anyone's 'sexing'. I just want … I just want the rules to be followed."

Rose moved off her stool to walk over to Bella and put an arm around her friend's shoulders. "Honey, I know you take your position as Commander in Chief of the neighborhood very seriously, and I love your commitment to making this neighborhood such a beautiful place to live, but maybe it's time to loosen up the ponytail and the pearls? Edward is moved in and Granny Platt is gone. Besides, tell me you're not even a little bit intrigued with that green-eyed hunk." Rose smirked as Bella's cheeks heated at the memory of the flimsy kilt and what it hadn't done a good job of hiding.

"Uh huh, I thought so. You may find that Edward moving in is a good thing. Give him a chance," Rose said.

"From the covers of those books you're hiding over there" Alice pointed towards Bella's hidey-hole by the couch. "our little strait-laced Bella is looking to have those pearls unwound by her own sexy man."

"Oh really?" Rosalie inquired, flashing a knowing smile at her pearl choker-wearing friend.

Mortified, Bella laid her overheated cheeks onto the cool granite countertop.

"Really," Alice answered for her. "Some of those covers have me needing a change of panties. I dare say Bella has been hiding her freaky side, and I, for one, have a feeling that our new resident might just be the guy to unleash the beast." Alice giggled before stooping down to pick up little Pikachu and placing him on her lap with her hands around his tiny neck in a loose chokehold.

"Bella, I love you, but if you ruin my chances at getting a taste of that cowboy, the dog gets it!"

~~~FVHOA~~~

Bella finished frosting her cupcakes and prepared them for travel. Whenever someone new moved into the neighborhood, she brought them some home baked-goodies, and then when they were soaring on the sugar high, she would go over the HOA rules. Her grandmother had taught her that everyone appreciated a sincere welcome and that most would be less argumentative when their mouths were stuffed with cookies or pie. Bella saved her special cupcakes for special circumstances. And Elizabeth Platt's grandson was definitely a special circumstance.

Bella had looked over the Platt contract several times and could find no mention of a grandson. Just as she was about to call Forks Bank and Trust, she remembered that when Grandma Swan's eyesight started to go, they moved everything to the computer but Grandma insisted on saving the paper copies. It only took a few minutes to locate the amended contract. And there it was: Edward Anthony Cullen, co-owner of 2413 Hemingway. Approved by Marie C. Swan. June 26th, 2011

Her grandmother had approved the kilt-wearing, sexy-haired Adonis. "Crap!" Bella had uttered upon reading the old contract. Not only did she have to apologize with the green-eyed god, but she would now have to go over all of the HOA rules with him. And if the way he acted when he opened the door upon their first meeting was any indication of their future interactions, she was going to have a rough time with him. Hence the extra special cherry chocolate goodness.

Not that Bella was relying solely on her baked goods to get through the meeting. Her grandmother had groomed her well for taking over the HOA. Bella's mind drifted back to the circumstances that had made her a resident of Forks Valley.

Bella had spent the first ten years of her life being bounced between a police chief father who was a by the rules kind of a guy but didn't have a clue to what the rules were to raise a child, especially a daughter. And her free spirit of a mother who didn't enforce any rules or offer any resemblance of stability. By the time Bella was ten years old, being tossed back and forth between the parents had left her feeling unwanted and neglected to the point it began to affect her behavior. She'd started talking back to her elders; she refused to adhere to any kind of schedule, and was acting out in school. It was then her grandmother stepped in between the two bickering parents. Grandma Swan knew her granddaughter needed stability. Bella's mother initially put up a tepid fight to keep her daughter with her the six months out of the year that had been agreed in the divorce, but when the opportunity came to travel Europe with an up and coming ABBA cover band, Renee chose travel and adventure over being a part-time mom.

Bella bloomed under her grandmother's care and tutelage. She'd become an educated and proper lady, but more than anything, Bella had learned that an orderly life and adherence to rules and schedules kept a person moving forward. And responsibility gave a person purpose. She'd watched her mother flit from one part-time job to another, one town to the next, and through a revolving door of men. Renee never had any goals, plans or stability. Looking back, Bella remembered that when she was young, her mother's way of life was very appealing. No bed times, she ate when she wanted, bathed when she felt like it, and with her mother making only a half-assed attempt at home schooling.

At fifty-six years old, her mother was still running around the world, looking for the next adventure and avoiding responsibility. It was not a life that appealed to Bella. At thirty-years old, she much preferred to have the security of her home, job, and friends. Though every once in a while, she would eat breakfast for dinner, and not fold her sheets the moment they came out of the dryer. Just for fun.

~~~FVHOA~~~

Another beautiful day in Forks Valley, Bella thought as she zipped through the neighborhood toward Eliza- Edward's home. She rode past the homes and their manicured lawns, taking great personal pride in the inviting and almost symmetrical look of the neighborhood. She knew that her vigilance as the HOA president was the reason for the postcard-perfect look.

"Okay, just walk up to the door, knock on the door, politely welcome him to the neighborhood and offer yourself up to him for a taste - No. Offer him a cupcake." Bella repeated her mantra several more times as she got closer to the Platt house.

As soon as she turned the corner to Hemingway, her ears were assaulted by the brain-numbing beat of a heavy bass echoing down the street. Her head moved like it was on a swivel as she tried to find where the noise pollution was coming from.

It didn't take long to find the cause of HOA rule-flaunting perpetrator was none other than Edward Cullen.

Bella's cart squealed to a stop as the heavy bass of Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" began playing. Bella flew from the cart and ran to where the large speaker was sitting. She reached down and unceremoniously pulled the plug. As soon as the noise stopped, Edward's head popped up from under the back of the large motorcycle he was working on. "What the fuck happened to my music?" he asked before his eye settled on Bella. "Oh. Hey, cookie, what's up?"

Bella stood straight with her shoulders back and addressed the greasy -faced interloper. "Well, it has come to my attention that you are now living here." Bella stepped back to avoid the large grease stain on the driveway.

Edward's eyebrow lifted. "Um, yeah, I informed you yesterday. What does that have to do with you slinking over and killing my tunes?"

"Your music was too loud. And I do not 'slink'." Edward reached up one of his greasy hands and rubbed his chiseled jaw, leaving a dark mark. Bella clenched her hands to stop her from reaching up to wipe the smudge away.

"Who made you the boss of how loud I can play my music?"

"My grandmother."

Edward erupted into laughter. "Holy shit. That was funny. But really, what's your problem with a little Def Leppard? Let me guess. You lost your virginity to some head banger in the back seat of his car behind the local high school after a football game, and now, every time you hear some kick ass rock song, you're reminded of the crappy experience?"

"What? No!" Bella replied indignantly. How dare this bronze-haired, chisel-jawed grease monkey cast her in such a light?

"C'mon. Give it up. I bet he was horrible. A one, two, pump chump?" he said while lewdly pumping his slim hips. "I get it. That kind of thing would make you hate any song associated with the experience. But don't hate the greatest 80s' rock band in existence because you lost it to a loser." Edward smiled and sauntered over to stand right in front of Bella. She looked right up into his eyes and gulped as her whole body heated at his closeness. "I bet I could give you an experience that would erase that one forever."

"Ahhhhh…" Bella's mouth opened but only one long sound came out. Edward smirked at her inability to form words.

"Oh, cookie. I think we could have a lot of fun." Him calling her Cookie, broke Bella from the spell he had her under. She stepped back putting a respectable distance between them.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm here on official HOA business. Please act properly."

With a huff, Edward returned to his place at the back of the motorcycle. "Well, in that case, you can officially make an appointment with my secretary," he sarcastically shot back. Bella's mouth dropped open as he picked up a wrench and went back to tinkering with the bike's engine.

Edward continued to ignore her as she stood in his driveway processing his dismissal. Secretary? Did he really have one?

Just as she was about to tell him how utterly rude she thought he was being, his front door banged open and out walked Rose's bear man.

"Why'd it get so quiet? And, um, your shitter is full. Oh, hey B." He smiled widely at her presence.

"What the fuck, Em? You broke my damn toilet?" Edward threw down his wrench and shot up from his stool.

"Hey, hey, in my defense you're the one who served me burritos and jalapeño poppers last night. You know what Mexican food does to my delicate system." The big man held up his hands defensively as Edward moved menacingly toward him.

"You didn't have to eat four burritos and half a pound of the poppers, you asshole!"

"Speaking of assholes … you're going to want to check on that toilet." Emmett pointed toward the house with a grin.

"Fuck!" Edward muttered, glaring at Emmett and then turning to Bella before rushing off into the house.

Bella couldn't help but admire the way his butt looked stuffed into his jeans or how strong his thighs looked as he moved or how his-

"You got a thing for Edward, huh?" Emmett's eyebrows shot up playfully.

"What? No!" Bella squeaked.

"Hey, it's okay. I mean, there's no accounting for tastes."

"What are you talking about?" she asked the grinning fool standing in front of her.

"He already told me that you caught him in his towel."

"He answered the door wearing it. I didn't 'catch' him."

"Whatever. It's cool. I like your blonde friend anyway. Hey, are those cupcakes?"

~~~FVHOA~~~

"All that work for nothing!" Bella complained as she stomped back into her house, sans cupcakes. After she told Emmett that, yes, those were indeed cupcakes; he'd grabbed them and ran off into the house like a grizzly bear with a salmon.

"God! He's so infuriating!" Bella griped while quickly changing out of her Forks Valley polo and capris. She tossed on an old Journey concert tee shirt Renee had sent last May, forgetting that her daughter's birthday was in September and a pair of jean shorts that were a modest length. At the back door, she put on her pink Crocs and grabbed her sun hat, iPod, and Bluetooth speaker before heading out into the garden. Gardening always soothed her. And after her latest altercation with Edward, she needed soothing. Pikachu dutifully followed his clearly insane mother out to the yard.

Bella sang along to her Get Moving playlist as she weeded her massive garden. Bella's grandmother had been a master gardener. Her cucumbers and tomatoes had won numerous blue ribbons at the county fair. Bella wasn't by any means a master, but she took very good care of her grandmother's garden and routinely shared the bounty with the neighborhood.

"He thinks he knows me? He knows nothing about me!" Bella griped to Pikachu as she envisioned the head of one Edward Cullen every time she mercilessly pulled a weed from the ground.

"Love in an elevator. Livin' it up when I'm goin' down. Love in an elevator…" Bella sang along to her iPod at a respectable level so as not to offend her neighbors. Her mood had improved slightly as her garden therapy and playlist worked their magic.

She'd just finished with the yellow squash and cucumber sections and was about to tackle her bell pepper and green chili plants when a large shadow loomed over her, eclipsing her pepper plants and half of the asparagus patch. Bella tensed as her fight or flight reflexes began to kick in. Her hand gripped the handle of the gardening tool tightly as Pikachu began barking from his perch under the crabapple tree about five feet to Bella's left. His little body was shaking with every loud yip, but the shadow didn't budge. It was then that Bella realized Pika was not a great watch dog.

"I knew you were a closet rocker." Bella relaxed slightly at the sound of Edward's voice. While he wasn't her favorite person, she was fairly certain that Elizabeth Platt's grandson wasn't a serial killer.

"What do you want?" she asked, returning to her pruning.

"I came to bring this back to you." Her red cupcake holder appeared over her right shoulder. It was empty.

"Thanks," she said flatly, taking the holder and setting it aside.

"Um, I was wondering if you would do me a favor?" Bella threw down her gardening trowel and whipped around to stare up at Edward.

"A favor? Why would I do you a favor when you've acted so horribly to me?"

"Excuse me? Twice you've come barreling onto my property, yelling at me for some minor and probably made-up infraction of your precious rules. Cookie, it's you who's been rude to me!"

That was it! Bella got up from her knees and stood toe-to-toe with Edward Cullen. The favor he'd come over to ask was forgotten in her anger.

"Your neighbors to the right of you have a three-month-old baby girl with colic. Neither she nor her parents sleep regular hours. Not to mention Mrs. Jensen, who lives behind you. She works nights as a paramedic to put her son through college. The music was so loud there's no way either of them would have been able to sleep through it." Edward's mouth twitched as she recounted his bad behavior.

"I didn't know that," Edward said quietly.

"Of course not! Every time I've tried to explain the rules to you, you act like an immature child and run off." Bella pointed a gardening glove-clad finger into his chest.

"No. I'll take the wrap for the music, and I'll be more courteous to my neighbors from here on out, but don't you dare label me as the only immature one here. You caught me yesterday after I'd gotten off a twenty-four hour shift at the hospital. I was dead ass tired and cranky. You banging on my door at eight in the morning was not okay, and today, you just turned my music off. You could have asked me to turn it down." Edward brushed her finger off his chest.

"You're a doctor?" Bella asked, her tone softening a touch.

"Yes. A pediatrician actually."

"You take care of little kids?" Bella's favorite hero in one of her books was a mustached, motorcycle- riding pediatric oncologist. And now one had moved into her neighborhood, sans the moustache.

"Yes, that's what a pediatrician does," he mocked.

Bella bit into her bottom lip until she could taste blood, it was an old habit from her childhood. Her therapist said it was a reaction to her parents fighting over her as a child. She'd always felt it it was her fault they fought, and she would cause herself pain to make up for their pain. Grandma Swan had noticed it immediately and off to therapy she went. Bella had thought the old habit was dead and buried.

"Don't do that. First, it's painful, and you could get an infection …" Bella looked up into his eyes. Maybe it was the shadows, but they looked darker than they did this morning. His chest looked wider than she remembered clad in a tight white tank. His biceps rippled in the sun. She longed to grab onto one. Would it be soft and pliable or hard like tempered steel?

"Um, what was the second thing?" she asked, licking her lips as she drug her eyes up his form in slow motion. When she reached his eyes, she recognized desire and knew he was seeing it mirrored in her eyes.

"What? Oh, hell!" He exclaimed, grabbing her hips tightly and dragging her body forward to meet his. His lips swooped down and took possession hers, knocking her sun hat off. Bella's toes curled in her pink Crocs as his plump lips moved over hers. Her gloved hands rested firmly on the biceps she'd been thinking about since spying them in their naked glory only twenty-four hours earlier. In spite of her proper upbringing, she pulled him in closer, reveling in the moan that emitted from his mouth. Edward's previous assessment of her sexual history hadn't been one-hundred percent correct, but he hadn't been too far off. Her previous boyfriends, both of them, were nothing to write home about, and neither had curled her toes with just a kiss.

Or at all, for that matter!

"Damn, girl. I knew there was a tiger lurking under all of that uptight wrapping." As if she were stung by a bee, Bella pulled away from Edward's mouth. His words ringing in her ears.

"You think I'm uptight?" He ignored her and attempted to dive in for another kiss, but Bella put her hand up and pushed on his chest. "I'm not uptight!"

Edward groaned, let go of her hips, and stepped back. "Seriously? All day long, you ride around in your little cart like a third-world dictator, telling people how to live their lives with your uptight hair," Edward spat, reaching out to flip her ponytail. "your uptight pearl choker, and your cute uptight ass stuck in your uptight pants!"

Bella sucked in a deep breath. "Get out!" Edward balked at her demand.

"Look, I didn't come here to fight. "

"Get off my property!" Bella pointed to the gate.

"Fine! It would probably take more patience that even I have to melt your icy exterior! It's no wonder you're alone," he spat cruelly.

Bella, felt her cheeks redden and her hands begin to shake. She knew that she was about to cry. His cruel words hitting a soft spot.

"Cookie, I didn't mea- "He dragged a hand through his hair and let a sigh.

"-My. Name. Is. Not. Cookie!" Bella threw her gloves down, grabbed her iPod, whistled for Pikachu, and stomped toward her house, leaving Edward standing alone in her garden.

~~FVHOA~~

"Please, let it go and come over," Rose pleaded. Much to Bella's chagrin, Rose and Emmett had begun dating and then Alice and Jasper followed suit. Now her two best friends were dating her enemy's two best friends. Over the last week and a half since their altercation in her garden, Bella had done everything she could to avoid Edward. Luckily, he seemed to have the same idea. There had been no noise complaints, well at least none against Edward. The Bauer's dog, Tiffy was on a rampage against birds and had been going on barking sprees every time a robin landed nearby.

She'd had an Edward sighting on Wednesday when she was called out to mediate a dispute between Mrs. Jacobs and Mrs. Schultz, over who had the right of way on the sidewalk. Apparently, two Rascal mobility scooters could not fit side by side on a normal city sidewalk. The Rascal incident happened across the street from Edward's house. As she was attempting to hold back two ninety-year-old women from breaking each other's hips over a few paint scratches, Edward walked out of his house. Even though his cruel words had hurt, Bella couldn't help but stare as she took in the image of a clean-shaven Edward Cullen in a suit and tie. She guessed he was headed to the hospital due to his attire. Knowing he was on his way to heal babies and little kids had Bella's heart beating a bit quicker. Seeing his long powerful legs and wide shoulders encased in the well-tailored suit had her sighing over how handsome he appeared. And made her wish such a handsome package didn't hide such a jerk.

The week had ended with the Fourth of July descending upon Forks Valley. Managing the morning parade of Tykes on Trikes, most Patriotic Dog and judging the best yard display had ended hours ago, and now, Bella found herself trying to find a way not to go to Alice and Rose's holiday barbeque.

"Rose, I've had a really long day. I just want to take a nice warm bath and go to sleep."

"Uh, huh, no. Get your ass over here. This is the first event we've hosted with significant others since I kicked Royce's cheating ass to the curb. And we want you here. So, change out of your HOA uniform, put on some sexy shorts and get your ass over here!"

Bella immediately opened her mouth to tell Rose exactly where she could stuff her demand, but instead of hearing Rose's heavy breathing, she was met with silence and then a dial tone.

"She hung up on me!" Pikachu gave his mom's distress a moment of consideration before promptly plopping down onto his rug to pick his toes.

After another call from Rose and one from Alice, who had once again threatened her dog's life, Bella was on her way to Alice's house. Edward's comment about her riding around in her cart like a third- world dictator had stuck in her mind, so she'd chosen to walk the five blocks to Hemingway. Though she was having second thoughts as she lugged her basket full of deviled eggs, homemade cheese ball, and sugar cookie bars. She'd thought about bringing Pikachu, thinking that at least he'd be on her side if Edward showed up. But when he refused to come out from under the dining room table to put on his leash- dogs were forbidden to run loose per HOA rules- she'd given up and left him home.

As she walked the five blocks, she noticed many of her neighbors getting together for the holiday. She wondered why Rose and Alice were the only ones to issue her an invitation. She waved at the families enjoying the day as she passed, receiving only an occasional greeting in return. Most just watched her walk by.

Disturbed by the lack of friendly greetings, Bella kept her head down as she trudged onward. As she got closer to her destination, her steps slowed and her heart grew heavy. Edward's comments circled around her brain like a murder of crows looking to feast on road kill.

Her last boyfriend had been nearly five years ago. Mike hadn't stuck around when Grandma Swan died and she'd taken over the HOA. He'd more than once commented on her inability to "let loose" and take a break from her fairly regimented schedule. When her grandmother had been alive, Bella had only been her assistant. She'd been able to walk away from things, knowing that her grandmother was responsible for the idyllic neighborhood they all loved. But when all of that responsibility fell on her young shoulders, Bella dove in head first not wanting to let her grandmother down. After Mike left, Bella put all of her energy into the HOA and had never looked back. Now she was wondering what would happen to her future if she never looked up from her HOA-rule book.

What if Edward had been right?

Was she a dictator and that's why no one wanted her?

As the depressing thoughts swirled in her head, she couldn't help but glance at Edward's house as she walked up Alice's block. She noticed that the driveway was empty. Making the house look lonely and a tad sad.

In contrast, the obnoxiously loud-colored Hummer parked in Alice's driveway, taking up half of the space, looked happy as hell and damn glad to be there. Despite the depressing start to her day, what little she knew of Emmett was that he had the ability to lighten a mood. And that's exactly what she needed.

"Bella!" Alice shrieked as Bella walked out to the overly decorated patio. The girls had gone all out. Patriotic bunting was tacked up along the back fence and the deck railings. American flags were standing proudly in every flowerpot, joining the assorted red, white, and blue flowers.

Alice and Rose had dressed for the event. Each was wearing a sundress made from material with American flags printed all over it. Alice had a headband adorning her head with two American flags pointing up like antlers. Rose had shown a little restraint; only two red and blue barrettes were holding her blonde mane in place.

"I'm so glad you made it!" Alice quickly encased her in a fierce hug, bonking her in the head with her headband antlers.

"Thank you for inviting me," Bella replied stiffly, as she glanced around the yard, looking for the man who had left her crying in her garden and questioning her life choices. Alice pulled back to look at her overly formal friend.

"He's working, but he might stop by later." Bella shrugged hoping to convey a lack of care for where the handsome jerkface was.

"I wish you two could talk this out. He really is a good guy. Did you know he's a doctor?"

"I know. I don't care," Bella lied.

"Hey, babe. Your butt looks great in those shorts by the way." Rose hugged Bella, pinching a jean-clad butt cheek.

"Hey, don't be stealing my girl! I just found her." Emmett boomed, bypassing the open armed Rose to sweep Bella up in a tight embrace.

"Hey! What about me?" Rose exclaimed.

"Rosie, you know you complete me, but B makes the most kick ass cupcakes I've ever tasted. She's my next best girl." Rose swatted Emmett's arm as he put Bella down and swept her friend up into a kiss.

Bella found herself laughing at his antics and was glad he was here.

Jasper greeted her warmly as the group congregated around the barbeque grill.

~~~FVHOA~~~

"So then, Mama Cullen told me that if I ever brought her baby boy back in that shape again, she'd carve my balls out with a rusty spoon!" Everyone burst into laughter as Emmett told the story of the spring break he, Jasper, and Edward had driven to Fort Lauderdale during their freshman year of college. Apparently, Edward had let loose a bit much and had come back engaged, dreadlocked, and tattooed.

"Man, I was sitting in the car, and I was terrified!" Jasper added, wiping tears from his eyes.

"No shit! That woman is terrifying when she's in Mama Bear mode," Emmett commented, cupping his groin and wincing at the memory.

"Engaged?" Alice asked.

"Dreadlocked?" Rose laughed.

"And fucking tattooed!" Everyone turned around as Edward walked out from the house. His full lips turned down into a frown as he remembered the aforementioned tattoo. Bella's face immediately lost its smile. She turned her head and suddenly became transfixed by the leftover bits of hot dog bun on her plate. She missed Edward's sigh as he watched her.

"Yeah, he got a giant -"

"- Don't you say another damn word! We have a pact!" Emmett motioned zipping his lips and throwing away the key at Edward's demand. Jasper, Alice, and Rose laughed.

"Let me get you a plate." Alice scurried up from the table to fix Edward's food. From under her lashes, Bella could see he'd taken a seat directly across from her.

"What about the engagement?" Rose asked.

"She was a waitress at the bar where we'd pretty much made our home. Pretty boy there," Emmett said, pointing at the red faced Edward, "had her so far under his spell that she didn't card our underage asses the entire time. It was glorious." Emmett smiled at the memory, while fist bumping Jasper.

"Glorious? I had no recollection of the event and I never got my five hundred dollars back for that stupid ring," Edward griped.

"I forgot about that. You maxed out your ATM allowance and bought her that ugly ass ring from the pawn shop," Jasper explained.

"It wasn't that ugly," Edward muttered, digging into his food.

"It was butt-ugly! But not as ugly as you were with those god-awful dreadlocks." Edward's shoulders slumped a bit as Emmett continued to spin his story.

"I thought they were cool." Edward huffed.

"Dude, you looked like a reggae reject with your pale legs, sunburned face and multi-colored beads!"

Bella laughed loudly at Jasper's description.

"See, B understands."

"You think that's funny?" Edward asked. Bella instantly lowered her head again.

"Bella, it is funny. I looked fucking ridiculous. My mom had to shave my head to get all the knots out. I looked like a plucked chicken for months." Upon hearing him use her actual name, Bella looked up to see Edward smiling at her.

It was unnerving.

"He did. It was the first time since we became teenagers, that girls bypassed a piece of Edward for me and J."

"Word," Jasper agreed.

"Well, I would bypass him for you even with hair, cowboy. No offense, Edward." Jasper grinned at Alice's comment.

"Me too!" Rose agreed.

Both girls locked lips with their men, causing an awkward silence to fall over Bella and Edward.

"I'm going to start the dishes," Bella commented, getting up and retuning to the house.

"Here." Edward put down a stack of plates and silverware onto the counter next to her.

"Thanks," She muttered.

"Um, I'll dry." Edward grabbed a dish towel and moved to stand beside Bella.

"I got it. Thanks." Bella wasn't sure she could stand to have him so close. So far, he'd acted halfway decent to her, and his new attitude was wreaking havoc on her nerves.

"Please. I want to help. Besides, sitting out there with those four is making my stomach churn." She shrugged and handed him a plate.

They stood side by side in silence cleaning up.

Bella was letting the water drain from the sink when she heard Edward sigh loudly behind her. She instinctively stood straighter as if bracing for a blow.

"Bella, I'm really sorry for what happened the other day. I shouldn't have done that." Was he sorry for kissing her or the hurtful words?

Or both?

She had to know.

"Please say something."

"What are you sorry for?" she asked softly, wringing out the dishtowel.

"What? All of it."

Bella nodded slowly, trying to regain her composure.

"Bella…" Bella felt Edward move close behind her.

"Excuse me." She shrugged his hand off her shoulder, covertly wiping the few tears that leaked onto her flushed cheeks, and moved around him to leave the kitchen.

"Guys, I'm wiped. I'll see you tomorrow." Bella faked a yawn and moved to leave when Rose and Alice voiced their dismay.

"What? No."

"You're going to miss the fireworks!"

"But I have pop bottle rockets and Roman candle,." Emmett whined, pointing to a box full of incendiaries. Bella opened her mouth to tell Emmett those were not HOA-approved fireworks, but when she saw Edward come out onto the deck, she snapped her mouth shut, deciding she was officially off duty.

"Um, just be careful and don't burn anything down or blow anything off." Bella ignored Rose and Alice's open-mouth astonishment and walked toward the door.

Edward opened his mouth to say something but ultimately just moved out of her way.

She brushed past, careful not to touch him.

Bella began her walk back to Clemens Blvd. Back to the house her grandmother left her. Back to the small, indifferent pet that was tiny and HOA approved and not the large Doberman she originally wanted. Back to reading erotic literature, alone on her couch. Back to the responsibilities that were left to her …

"Bella, wait up!"

Edward's voice interrupted the sad recounting of her life.

She didn't stop.

Edward's six foot-two frame had no problem catching up and then matching Bella's strides.

They walked in silence for nearly two blocks before Bella couldn't handle it anymore.

"What are you doing?" Bella demanded, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to face Edward.

"Um, I wanted to talk to you about the other day."

"Edward, I'm really not interested in hearing you recount more of my deficiencies." Bella started walking again.

"That's not what I was … Would you wait? Please." Edward tugged on her arm, pulling her to a stop.

Bella wasn't sure but in the twilight of the evening with the shadows falling over his face, it looked as if there was remorse shining in Edward's eyes.

"Fine! What do you have to say?" Bella's arms crossed defensively over her chest. Now that he had her stopped, he was at a loss as to how to start the conversation.

"So, last week, um, it was a rough week, and I think I let my exhaustion get the best of me. I may have taken it out on you and I'm sorry." It definitely looked like remorse but then it was kind of dark.

"You don't think I'm uptight?"

"Yes. You- Wait. Let me finish." Bella began powerwalking away from him.

"For the love of … Would you stop and let me finish apologizing? I swear, you are the most infuriating woman I have ever encountered."

Bella stopped and turned on him so quickly, that her ponytail slapped him in the face.

"I'm infuriating? Are you fucking kidding me? Since the moment you got here, you have caused me nothing but trouble!" Bella's rant came out in such a rush she didn't notice the decidedly un-lady like word she'd used. However, Edward did. Though he was smart enough to keep that to himself.

But he wasn't a saint.

"How do I infuriate you, cookie?"

"Oh my God! What is wrong with you?" Edward smirked, stepping closer to the sputtering Bella.

Edward took a chance and reached out to take her hand. Bella immediately tried to pull it back but Edward wouldn't relinquish his hold.

"Let go," she demanded.

"No." Edward pulled her one step closer and began rubbing circles on the back of her hand.

She attempted to pull her hand away again but part of her couldn't deny that she was enjoying his attentions. Edward infuriated the crap out of her and had made her feel badly about herself but another part realized that her initial attraction to him hadn't gone away.

And that was doubly infuriating.

He could tell that his actions were keeping her a little on edge. Exactly what he wanted.

"I know I've been a problem, and I admit I've been pushing you a little," he said softly, pulling her one step closer.

"Why?" Bella could feel her walls cracking the closer he got.

"You know that story Emmett told tonight?" Bella nodded, keeping her eyes on her hand in his.

"Well, there is a reason I lost my damn mind on that trip. I grew up in a very controlled home. My parents weren't mean or anything, but I had a regimented schedule with lots of rules."

"Rules are good. They give you structure and support," Bella muttered, staring at how amazing her petite hand looked encased in his long fingers.

"Yes. That's something I know very well. My father is a thoracic surgeon at Seattle Grace Hospital, and my mother is a state senator." Bella's eyes widened as she remembered aspects of the story of his spring break freak.

"Yes," Edward said, nodding at her. "My drunk, dreadlocked and engaged ass embarrassed the shit out of my parents."

"What happened?"

"Well, once I dried out and got the dreads removed, I was able to understand why I basically lost my mind in Florida. Growing up with two very accomplished and fairly public parents wasn't easy. If I didn't get straight As', played varsity on both baseball and football, I heard about it. If I said a mean word to someone or even something that could be misconstrued as improper, I heard about it. My life was full of responsibility and regimented to a ridiculous point. And I accepted everything with a smile because that's what was expected of me. When I left for college, it was the first time where my life was really mine, and I took advantage of every opportunity to live it. I wish I could say that spring break trip was the worst of it. But that would be a lie." Bella looked in astonishment. She couldn't imagine worse.

Edward laughed at her expression. "I'll spare you the details."

"But you're a doctor. That's a lot of responsibility and strict rules."

"Yes." He nodded. "And my childhood really prepared me for the profession I chose, but, Bella, even with a demanding profession and with tons of responsibility I have, I still find the time to let loose. You have to or else you run the risk of not living. I guess when you barreled into my life with your binder of rules and tight ponytail, all I could see was me ten years ago. And it made me sad to think that a woman as beautiful as you, wasn't giving herself a chance to live."

Bella nodded in thought. Maybe he was right. She could stand to loosen up a little, but she still had responsibilities. She opened her mouth to say just that when he beat her to it.

"I'm not asking you to burn the binder and start rolling around the neighborhood in a bikini and roller skates. Actually, I'd kill to see you in a bikini but then I'd have to kill everyone else who saw you." He smiled and drew her closer as Bella laughed at the absurdity of his statement.

"Would it kill you to let some of the rules go?"

"No," she agreed, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck, surprised at how natural it felt to hold him like that. "Wait, did you call me beautiful?" She pulled back to look into his eyes.

"Cookie, you're absolutely gorgeous." Even in the dark, Edward could swear he could see her blush.

He didn't waste any time. Edward bent down and gave Bella Swan the second best kiss of her life, and if she were wearing her Crocs, they'd probably melt from the heat Edward was putting out.

"Waddaya say? Do you want to play by the rules, or take a walk on the wild side with me?" Edward whispered into her neck.

"I have a couple of questions?"

Edward pulled back, hooking his arms firmly onto her hips. "Okay. Shoot."

"Do you have a real kilt or just the towel?"

"I have two actually," he said with a smirk. "One in Cullen colors and one in Platt colors. I'll model them both for you."

Bella beamed at the thought of seeing him clad in the colors of his ancestors.

"Why do you call me 'Cookie'?"

Edward sighed and looked off to the side. "At first, I was just trying to get a rise out of you, but then after I'd seen you a couple of times, it seemed to fit. This whole place is cookie cutter. Every lawn perfectly groomed every driveway free from clutter. You know-cookie cutter, no personality." Edward felt Bella tense; he'd anticipated her reaction and reaffirmed his grip.

"I know now that's not true. You're full of personality just begging to be let out. I think there are many layers to Bella Swan, and I want to know them all." Bella thought of the stacks of erotica she had hidden in her closet. She'd never shared them with anyone for fear they would chastise her and make her feel stupid for enjoying the elicit fantasies they evoked. Perhaps Edward would be the one she could finally share them with?

The man wore kilts for God sakes and had a tattoo.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, nuzzling under her ear.

Bella shivered at his touch and leaned back to give him better access.

"Can I see your tattoo?" To her disappointment, Edward pulled back from her neck and took a step back. She was afraid she'd asked too much. "It's okay. You don't have to show me something that personal."

Edward smiled and cupped her chin, tilting her head back so he could look her deep in the eyes. "Cookie, if you want to see my tattoo, you're going to have to invite me inside. Not even a rule flaunter like me would have the guts to get naked in a nice friendly neighborhood like this. Are you ready to break some rules?"

Bella's eyes widened for a heartbeat before grabbing his hand and dragging him inside her house.

The next morning, Bella's garbage container sat in it's usual place waiting for its Monday pick up. There was nothing out of the normal except the large binder thrown haphazardly to the side of the dumpster that read Forks Valley Home Owners' Association Official Rules.

Thank you for reading! If you feel so inclined, please drop me a review and let me know what you thought of my Commander in Chief. Oh, did you all get the reference to a beloved character from Planetblue? LOL! I LOVE that guy!

Much love,

ruinedbyrob