A Queen's Hero

Disclaimer: I do not own How to train your dragon

KEY

'Thoughts'

"foreign language/projected thoughts"

Emphasis/yelling

(A/N: this is my first HTTYD fanfic set in an AU, where hiccup loses his mother later in his life and almost everyone (including Astrid) despises him. Also, a warning, this chapter will include mentions of self-harm and thoughts of suicide. Finally, the dragons are not the only danger in the archipelago)

Chapter 1: Fate

? POV

Burning… his lungs were burning… every breath sent agonizing waves of pain radiating outward from his chest. The pain flowing from his lungs was nothing compared to the one that was slowly crushing his heart. 'How… how can they do that to me, how can anyone do that to someone'.

Too focused on what had just happened, he felt nothing as small branches tore cuts across his face and hands as he scurried through the undergrowth. Not slowing his run for even a moment, he swerves around a boulder blocking his path. Ignoring the larger limbs of the surrounding trees as they rip holes in his tunic, the forest began to thin out as he reached its outskirts. As he emerged from the tree line into a clearing, he slowed his run to a stroll, until finally collapsing onto his knees. Then began to sob.

'Why, I didn't choose to be born like this, I never wanted to be different from everyone else. No, I wasn't just different… I was a weakling, a runt… a hiccup. What did I ever do to deserve their hate?

That's right nothing, Ididn't do anything at all… I couldn't do anything. They wanted someone who talked like them, who walked like them, who thought like them. They didn't want anything that made me… me; my ideas, my inventions, or even my drawings. They barely put up with me just sharpening their weapons in the forge…'.

'The forge, the one place where there was someone who truly wanted me around them'.

'Gobber, our village blacksmith, I've been his apprentice ever since I was little; Well littler. I was more than just his apprentice; I was his friend and he was mine. We would joke and throw quips at each other, all in good fun. He'd tell me stories and asked how my day went, and I'd do the same. In fact, he wasn't just my friend, he was kind of like an uncle I always wanted or even a second father to me'.

'Father, did I ever even have a real father. Stoick "the Vast" Haddock, he's the chief of our tribe, or his tribe "the hairy hooligans". Ever since I was six, he placed the value of his chiefdom and tribe above all else, even me, his son. He spent every waking moment being the chief of the tribe, making sure everyone did their jobs, got along with each other and prepared the village in case of dragon raids'.

'I try to believe that he really cares about me, he just doesn't know how to show it. Everything changed after the death of my mother. It wasn't a dragon that killed her, she died defending the village from an outcast attack. She was as graceful as she was strong, taking down outcast after outcast. An arrow from a retreating outcast was aimed at my father as he was fighting two of them at once. My mother intercepted it before it could hit my dad, and it struck her in her heart'.

'As he watched the burning boat carrying my mother go out to sea, I saw the flames in my father's eyes go out. Two days later he sent me off to train in the forge with Gobber, he said he wanted me to get stronger. I knew the real reason why; he didn't want to see me and see the person he lost. The person who died because he wasn't strong enough to protect them'.

'Gobber confirmed what I had thought, he told me I was the splitting image of my mother. Apparently, I had her eyes and her hair, but I had gotten both of their stubbornness. Gobber meant that last part sarcastically, obviously'.

'That's what I was to him, nothing more than a reminder of someone he lost. Stoick always loved my mother, I knew that was true for as far back as I can remember. She was the only one to stand toe to toe with him, both in their arguments and sparring'.

'When I was born, he didn't believe I would survive my first year. My mother, however had no doubt that I wasn't just going to live but grow up to be one of the strongest Vikings in the archipelago. When she was alive, she spent every moment telling me how much she loved me. When she was gone, I never heard those three words from anyone else'.

'It's been six long years since he made me Gobber's apprentice, for the first few months he tried to teach me how to be a chief's heir. He gave up after I just ended up being a disappointment to him time and time again. Every time he looked at me that's what he saw, disappointment. I wasn't the son he wanted; he wanted a fearless strong dragon fighter not a talking fishbone'.

'Yep, a fishbone, that's what most people see me as. After his failed attempt at my training, several villagers led by my uncle Spitelout Jorgenson convinced Stoick to train his son who was "real heir material"'.

'Snotlout, my cousin/chief bully, whose ego was as big as his head. He along with the twins, Tuffnut and Ruffnut Thorston, made my life a waking nightmare. With his daily beatings and the twin's near constant pranks, my life outside the forge was painful. They did all this unopposed from the other villagers, but something good did come from my torment'.

'After a rather nasty burn I went to Gothi, the village healer, I found out I could heal my wounds quicker than anyone else. She told(wrote) me never to tell anyone about my ability and I haven't told anyone yet, not even Gobber. She was the only other person besides Gobber to treat me with any kindness '.

He got up and staggered toward the edge of the clearing that ended in a cliff. His mind wandered as the strong wind from the sea tugged at his auburn mop and clothes. Wobbling, he stared at the sheer drop and imagined what would it feel like to just let go. It would be quick, maybe even painless.

He brought his focus up from the jagged rocks at the bottom of the cliff to spot an incoming storm. The waves and wind from the storm would wash away any remains he would leave if he fell, it would be like he just vanished. He gazed above the storm clouds to the peaceful morning blue sky, then tears began to swell as he was reminded of why he ran. He was strong enough to take beatings, ridicule, and neglect. But the one blow he couldn't brush off was what she did.

'Astrid Hofferson, she was a Valkyrie descended to Midgard. She was brave, strong, and honorable. Overall, she was beyond beautiful, almost a perfect shieldmaiden. Her clan was the most skilled in berk, especially her uncle, "Fearless" Finn Hofferson. When the flightmare arrived on berk, he managed to wound the legendary beast, but it fled before he could finish it off'.

'After his bout with the beast, Finn began training Astrid in combat. His brother wanted a son, but Finn never cared that his niece was a girl. Strength through honor, that's what he preached through his training. I watched her as often as I could, seeing her have the support and love of her family was something I longed for myself. I developed a crush on her, it was not just about her looks, but because she had what I always wanted. She was strong, fearless, and loved'.

'But seeing her stand beside Snotlout and the twins and lie straight to my father's face was too much for me to bear. I remember standing at the top of the stairs in my home and stared right at her, my face twisted in pure anguish and tears threating to flow'.

'She stared right back with a stoic visage that could match my father's. She saw what really set those two houses and the food storage on fire, it was Snotlout and his two lackeys messing with my unfinished launcher. She knew the truth and still lied for my bullies, worst yet my father believed them… them over his only son'.

As his breaths began to quicken, he frantically searched his surroundings for a way to escape from his personal Helheim. He couldn't go back through the village to the docks, he feared his fractured mind would shatter like glass. He scanned the coastline for anything that he could use.

'Who am I kidding, there's absolutely no way I'll find a boat, let alone something that would float' Then he spotted an abnormal object swaying in the surf, 'maybe the Gods are smiling upon me', he jogged back into the forest.

Emerging from the trees, he got a clearer view of the abnormal object. It was an old small boat… really old. It was far too small to have been a fishing ship and it didn't even have a mast of any sort. The hull's wood was a pale grey color like the surrounding stones that dotted the shore. It was amazing that he even found the boat among the sea washed boulders.

As it swayed gently with the waves crashing onto the beach, hiccup checked the hull inside and out. He sighed as he couldn't find a single leak in the old rowboat, he carefully weighed his two options now. 'I could stay and hope my life gets better or take my chances out on the sea with a storm on the horizon'. Sitting on the bench with his arm propped up supporting his chin, he thought about his life up until now.

'If I stay, things will only get worse, soon even Gobber won't be able to keep me safe. If I go, I might get lost at sea and die'. Hiccup glanced around in the boat, trying to find anything that seemed useful. After about ten minutes of rummaging inside the hull and the surrounding rocks, all he found was two oars and a small weathered wooden box.

In it he found a ball of twine, a small rusted carving knife, an equally rusted dull hatchet, and a faded journal whose contents were too worn to be legible. Only the first few pages had some scribbles; the rest were blank, 'perfect, now if I run out of room in my journal, I can use this one'.

The waves started to grow larger and forcibly rocked the small ship, sending hiccup falling on his rear. 'The storm is almost here, I may have to go back to the village', That thought sent waves of sorrow throughout his body. 'I'm never going back, if I do there's no telling how long I'll last before I snap. I am not taking the easy way out'. He subconsciously pulled on his sleeves, trying to hide his shame.

The only other person who knows about his cutting was Gothi, and she only found out after treating an unrelated injury. When she saw fresh cuts on his arm, she smacked his head with her staff.

To say that she was angry would be an understatement, she was furious. She wrote a clear warning in her sandbox, "if I ever find out that you do this one more time, not only am I going to smack you harder; I will tell both Gobber and your father, do I make myself clear lad?". After a sad nod, he promised he would never harm himself again.

'There's no way I can go back, if I do, I'm not going to be able to hold myself together. I need to leave, even if it's just for a few days or a week or two'. Between probably getting lost at sea in a storm and dying or staying on berk and guaranteeing his demise by his own hands, the choice was clear. After slicing through the frayed rope that looked older than the boat itself, hiccup began to row as hard as his thin arms would allow. He should thank Gobber and the forge.

He, like all children born in berk, had gone through wilderness survival training during his early childhood. He learned everything he needed to know to survive for days at a time, by himself since none of his peers would group up with him; not even his only friend, Fishlegs Ingerman. he broke ties with him at the pressure of his family and he didn't blame him. Family is all someone has in this life; hiccup would never break up someone else's for his own selfishness.

The waves began to swell, and the rain came down hard as the storm raged overhead; 'looks like Thor won't take it easy on me'. hiccup knew many islands surrounding berk, ones that he could camp out easily with what he had in the boat. Some even had soft beaches that he can use to spear fish for food. he could also forage berries and other edible plants, that was the benefit of having a slender body like his. He didn't need a lot of food to survive.

While he was imagining what his short getaway would be like, he didn't realize a tall wave was coming right at his poor small boat. His eyes lock on the mass of water bearing down on him, fear chilled him to the bone worse than the cold rain pouring down on him. 'So, this is how I die, I'll at least be with my mother', was the last thought that ran through his head before the massive wave smashed onto his small boat.

Hiccup's unconscious body began to sink into the depths along with what remained of his boat. 'Twelve years, I couldn't make it pass my twelfth year. It's not like anyone will miss me besides Gobber and Gothi, yep no one would want to remember a runt, no one'. Fate however had other plans for the boy.

Darkness began to engulf his small body as he sunk deeper and deeper. His fair skin bathed in the light of the surface quickly becomes shadowed only for an instant, as a creature hidden in the murk slowly circles hiccup. Getting closer with every pass, it's long and slender body avoids the few rays of light piercing the darkness of the ocean depths.

It peers out of the shadows at its intended prey, patiently waiting to ensure their end. Satisfied, as its prey has not made movements of any kind, the creature violently grabs the boy's body and drags him into the sunless void.

(A/N: yes, I know cliffhanger. I promise I'll try to avoid using cliffhangers in the future, emphasis on TRY. So, what do you think, I'm going to keep using POVs in the following chapters. I know most of Berk is somewhat OOC, but this is an AU. I'll try to keep the OOC to a minimum, maybe. Also, I'm going to attempt to match the major events in canon timeline as close as I can, but keep the plot going in the direction I want. The word count may not stay at +2000, it's hard to write chapters that long. Incoming OC's in the next chapter. Updates will be sporadic; I am kind of writing this story on the fly. Reviews are welcomed since it's my first Fanfic, but only constructive criticism-no Flames.)