The hot water felt glorious as it washed away the final traces of grime from Nirauan. The soothing, real water shower eased abused muscles from sleeping on rocks and dirt. Water so hot it was nearly scalding. Mara felt like she stayed under its comforting spray for an hour before finally leaving the fresher, her skin pink and steaming in the cool room. After dressing in blessedly clean clothes (her body suit might sluff off dirt, sweat, and blood but it was no fun to wear for a month) she was forced to confront the issue she'd been avoiding since landing on Ansion.

She was engaged. To be married. To Luke Skywalker. And had been for two whole days.

Mara had actually seen little of Luke since they landed. Luke had wanted to go as far as the ship would take them. She had put her foot down at that. Jedi trance or no, two days in hyperspace to reach Ansion had been enough. She had needed to be clean, fed, and rested. And frankly, so did he. The rest could all wait.

So, after securing the Chiss ship in a private hanger, they'd both agreed to head straight to one of Talon Karrde's safehouses, the second reason for putting down on Ansion, But now that she had taken care of the necessities and had a quiet moment, she let herself reach for that new space at the back of her mind. A sensation that was pure Luke. Warmth, goodness, and a Force presence that was both soothing and awe-inspiring. A place that would now and forever belong to him. What in the galaxy had she gotten into now?

This new bond-this new aspect to her relationship with Luke-intimidated and humbled her all at once. Mara now knew, without a shadow of a doubt, his ability for conviction, loyalty, and love. A man she'd known for ten years, in whom she'd only caught glimpses of such traits before. This new understanding of the core of his self, made her admire, made her love him, even more.

You can use the L word now, Mara chided herself. There was no tip-toeing around it anymore. He knew she loved him and she knew the feelings were reciprocated.

It had been a slow process, falling in love with him. One she didn't even realize had happened until it was shoved in her face. And yet, what did she actually, really, know about him? Many of his exploits she'd gotten second hand, and when combined with those she'd been present for, it made up only one small part of his personality. Galactic changing events aside, what had been the forces that shaped him? Something as important as the people who'd raised him all the way down to his favorite color. Reading about him in a file or the few conversations they'd had during her infrequent visits to his academy wasn't the same as knowing.

That's what distressed her the most. In the moment he'd asked her to marry him, with their minds still so closely intertwined, she couldn't imagine not being with him. Now that they were back in their own heads and the threat of impending death removed, the thought of going to Karrde and telling him she was marrying Luke Skywalker because of the Force sounded ridiculous, even if it felt so right.

Mara shook her head and mentally cleared her thoughts. Feeling her swirling emotions calm, she said to herself, I need a plan.

One had only just started forming when the door chime rang. Already knowing who was on the other side she called, "Enter."

The door opened and a freshly showered Luke stuck his head in but didn't enter. "Are you done thinking? Want to get something to eat?" he asked, hair still slightly damp and curling at the nape of his neck.

"Stay out of my…." she started to say but he interrupted.

"I wasn't," and he entered the room fully and she could see he was wearing the generic pants, shirt, and jacket that the safe house provided. Carefully chosen so as not to stand out in a crowd. But despite the blandness of the attire it suited him. The tan pants clung to his thighs, the fabric spanning the muscles beneath to suggest without stretching. The deep blue shirt brought out his eyes and took them from pale blue to a brighter shade and the black jacket was a durable fabric that emphasized the breadth of his chest and shoulders. To cover her sudden attraction she gave him a disbelieving look which made him add, "I couldn't tell what you were thinking about, just that your mind was occupied with something."

She sighed and apologized, "Sorry." Mara was still used to keeping him at arm's length. "I'm not used to this."

"No apology needed," he said, waving it away. "You're not the only one who's going through a paradigm shift."

"You're right, I'm sor…."

"Are you hungry?" he cut her off again to keep her from apologizing. "I find that thinking on a full stomach is better than an empty one. Not to mention I'm starving." To emphasize the point his stomach growled. Loudly. Then hers, embarrassingly, echoed a half second later.

She could tell he was trying not to smile but his complete amusement leaked through his shields to the bond. Giving in and smiling back at him she said, "I guess that's a yes." Food was third on her list of priorities anyway. After a shower and clean clothes.

He gave her a full smile at that, and a sudden wave of relief and nerves hit her before being quickly bottled up. Evidently, she wasn't the only one unsure of their new relationship. How does one go from friends to engaged as fast as a blaster shot?

"Good, great. I found a listing for a cafe not too far from here. Had good reviews."

"Okay, just let me finish getting ready." She began to reach for her holdout blaster, vibroblade, and lightsaber, but stopped when Luke made a not so discreet cough behind her.

Turning back to face him, she lifted one eyebrow inquiringly and asked, "You say something?"

"No, no," he said straightening and putting his hands in his jacket pockets.

She continued to look at him expectantly and he relented, "It's just… would be nice to share a meal with you that doesn't require weapons."

She made an involuntary scoff. "When I'm with you Skywalker, I always need weapons."

"No one's trying to kill us."

"Not now, but the way you attract trouble?"

"Mara, I really don't think...," he said, letting exasperation color his words.

Now it was her turn to interrupt. "But if you insist, I'm sure I can improvise something should it come to that."

His forehead began to wrinkle as he looked at her and she could tell he was wondering whether to take her seriously or not. She didn't even need the Force for that. She took pity on him and cracked her shields and sent him a teasing nudge. "Come on. Let's go eat."

It was late afternoon as they set out for a cafe that was only a few blocks from the safehouse. 'House' was a ubiquitous term as it was actually a flat in one of the busiest cities on Ansion. It was early spring in this part of the planet and the air was cool but not cold so the walk was pleasant and passed in companionable silence. While Mara normally kept a half meter or more of personal space around herself, she found that when Luke's shoulder brushed her own as they walked, she didn't find it as annoying as when others did it. The interesting thing was that it was… relaxing.

As they passed through the non-descript town Karrde had chosen for one of his safehouses, Mara thought about her limited experience in dating. She had gone out drinking with Karrde and Faughn's crews and wasn't above sharing a story here or there. But she was their superior and they were not beings she felt comfortable sharing too much of her past with. Mara wasn't even sure how much they knew about her life prior to joining Talon Karrde's Organization.

Karrde knew. After Wayland, she'd told him. Mara felt she owed it to him after all he'd done for her. The tale hadn't seemed to bother him and admitting to her Force powers had been 'Just another piece in the puzzle that is Mara Jade'.

She and Karrde had also shared dinners together that were more like informal business meetings. There were formal meals with clients and she'd even had a couple of social meals merely because she found someone interesting to talk to. But those eventually ended one of two ways: the other was interested in taking the relationship further and Mara wasn't, or the relationship quickly became physical and very quickly fizzled out. Usually because Mara ended it. But those had been few and far between and never very satisfying.

So, despite agreeing to marry him, this aspect of her relationship with Luke was all new to her and she wasn't sure how to proceed.

They arrived at a small cafe with tables set up both inside and out. Since it was a nice day on Ansion and having spent nearly thirty days in a dark cave, she headed for one of the outdoor tables. Luke followed and as soon as they sat down a waiter droid arrived with menus.

"So," Luke said, watching her over the top edge of his menu.

"So," she echoed him, not looking up from hers.

"I was doing some thinking of my own," he started to say.

"Oh, about?" she asked, trying for casual.

Folding his menu and setting it aside he said, "Us."

She folded hers as well to give him her undivided attention, truly curious what he'd come up with. "And what is your idea?"

"That I'd like to know your thoughts about us. This is all happening so fast that I feel we should both be in the same system before going farther."

"I'll admit I was thinking something similar. It's an odd feeling having this bond, but not having much of a frame of reference to go with it," she admitted.

"Yes, exactly," he said in relief. "But how do we fill in the gaps?"

"We… date?" she ventured as the kernel of her initial idea began to take shape.

"Date," he said, an interested tone in his voice.

"Isn't that what normal beings do? The whole get to know each other to check for compatibility, thing."

"We're already past that," he assured her.

"Are we?"

Luke frowned, "Aren't we?"

"I guess in a deep Force Bond kind of way, yes. But I doubt that is how your sister and Solo went about it."

"So we should bicker and annoy the hell out of each other till one of us is frozen in carbonite, almost dying, and thus forcing us to admit that we love each other."

Mara blinked, caught a little off guard. It took a second before she found her voice. "Calrissian said something along those lines but I thought he was exaggerating."

Luke chuckled. "Trust me. I wish I was. Half the Alliance wishes I was exaggerating."

"Bad example then. I've never really dated someone before."

"I haven't either," he said, and she frowned at that.

"Really," she drawled skeptically. "The hero flyboy of the Rebellion? I remember a few women from your file and a few post-Endor."

He grimaced and amended himself, "Okay, not in the traditional sense anyway. How about we just talk for now?"

She gave a dramatic sigh. "Certainly doesn't have the same excitement as freezing you in carbonite."

Luke mock glared at her.

"But it's better than being arrested for carbon freezing a Jedi Master."

"Funny Jade," he deadpanned. "I didn't realize how funny you are when you're not trying to kill me."

"The night is still young Farmboy," and she smiled innocently at him.

By this time the waiter droid had arrived, ready to take their order. Luke said he was ready, so Mara quickly scanned the meals on offer and selected the first thing she recognized and liked.

When the waiter left Mara asked, "Why did you order the Special? You didn't even ask what it was?"

He shrugged. "So long as it's human compatible, it's what I always order."

"I didn't figure you for a food neophile."

"Do you know how boring the food on Tatooine is? Aunt Beru did as well as she could with the limited spices available but once I joined the Alliance I realized what I'd been missing." Than he chuckled to himself. "In fact, I have to thank my squadmates in the Rebellion for me ordering the Special wherever I go."

"Let me guess," she said, a smirk on her face. "They tried to get you to eat weird things being the dumb farm kid."

"Naive farm kid," he corrected her. "But yes. And since I was fresh off the farm I went along to fit in." He let out a full laugh and Mara marveled at the change that came over his face when he was happy. Something that didn't usually happen in her presence. Not when you're battling for your life. "I think Red Squadron was on some scouting mission just after we abandoned Yavin 4. Han was along to talk to some beings about supplies. Hobbie, Wedge, and I were getting something to eat. Hobbie ordered for us, set down a container of some kind of fried meat with a dipping sauce. We were half way through our meal when Han joined us. He looks over at what I'm eating and says, 'I wouldn't have gone with the nerf testicles myself, kid, but to each their own.'" Luke managed to say this in a fair approximation of Solo's gruff drawl, which made it all the funnier and Mara couldn't help but laugh. Luke chuckled again and shook his head.

"Did you finish eating?" she asked.

"Of course! They actually weren't that bad and on Tatooine meat is a treat. When we could afford bantha it was usually the cheapest cuts that Aunt Beru would turn into sausages or needed to be slow cooked to break it down and tenderize it. Don't even get me started on how unappetizing dewback is."

Listening to him talk about his childhood made her smile a little melancholily. What would it be like to have a past you could be proud of? "Your aunt sounds like a resourceful woman," is all she said.

"Yes, she was, " he smiled wistfully, remembering his lost family. "Anyway, you learn a lot about your taste buds ordering the Special. You might find something new." He took a sip of a light local brew he'd ordered and asked, "You're not adventurous in your dining choices?"

She shrugged. "I like what I like."

"Sounds boring."

She gave him an incredulous look. "You calling me boring after what we just went through?"

"More like... set in your ways," he amended and was silent for a minute. But Mara could tell he wanted to say more. There was an itch in the back of her mind that she was quickly coming to interpret as Luke thinking. "I just think you could use a little more spontaneity," he finally said.

Not wanting to go into depth with that statement, she went with sarcasm, "Saving you from a pirate gang doesn't count?"

"Nope," he said shaking his head to emphasise his point.

"I'll add it to the list," she said dryly.

"It's not spontaneous if it's on a list," he chided.

"Aren't you just the fountain of knowledge."

"I haven't even started. For one," and he waggled his eyebrows at her. "I haven't even started quoting Master Yoda. That one always gets a groan from the students."

"Yes," she agreed with his students. "Let's skip those."

But he took on a somber and serious tone, "You must unlearn what you have learned."

"New rule," Mara admonished. "No quoting Jedi maxims outside of a training environment."

Luke smiled, "Fair enough."

Their food had arrived and they both tucked in. For Mara it was the first real food she'd eaten in a month. While ration bars were good for emergencies, she would prefer real, well-prepared food such as this any day.

When they both had finished their food and ordered a dessert, his face took on a speculative look, like he wanted to say something more about Jedi training. She caught a quick flash of… something... before it was hidden away again. Luke asked instead what her favorite meal was and Mara was relieved. On top of everything else that happened in the last few days, their ongoing discussion (battle) over her becoming a Jedi was now made more complicated due to her new Force awareness from the sacrifice of the Jade's Fire. One more thing that needed to be ironed out between them.

She also didn't want to get into the old argument because she was having a nice time with him. There was no crisis looming, no political agendas to wade through, just the two of them sharing a meal and bantering like old friends. Which they were, but she couldn't remember a time when her teasing hadn't had a mean, sarcastic, or goading edge.

Now she just wanted to see him smile and to push just enough till he pushed back. It was something he'd never really done before. She was slowly discovering his playful side. And she liked it.

The Jedi Master was gone and what was left was pure Luke Skywalker. She'd caught glimpses of him from time to time, but being the last Jedi, with the weight of rebuilding the Order on his shoulders, was always present. Now she was seeing him as just Luke. A farm kid, turned rebel hero, turned Jedi, but still just Luke.

"You're thinking too much again," he said, interrupting her thoughts.

"All things considered, I think I have that right," she said, perhaps a little too defensively.

"You do," he soothed. "But sometimes the thinking gets in the way and you just have to feel."

"I thought we agreed, no lectures?"

"It was actually no 'Wise Jedi Sayings'. This is a personal observation," he said, face going thoughtful. "When we let logic and reason guide something that is intangible and undefinable, like love, then we're bound to remain separate."

"That doesn't sound like something a Jedi would say."

"The Jedi of old, no. They would say that love should only be approached with logic and reason. That to form attachment leads to possession and fear of loss which of are of the Dark Side. And in some cases, that may be. But if you approach love as outside of yourself, something you give and not necessarily need to have reciprocated, then that is selfless and of the Light."

"And when that love is reciprocated," Mara hedged, challenging him. "How is the fear of loss managed so as not to despair and court darkness?" With his approach to not allow himself to love for fear of loss, this was a point she needed to know that he understood. That she wouldn't be coddled.

"I don't know," he admitted.

"That's not an answer."

"When you find one would you let me know? All we can do is trust in the other person's abilities and agency."

"That doesn't sound like you from a few days ago."

"Actually, I've believed in this philosophy for a long time," Luke said in a far off voice, gaze turned inward. She could feel it when he mentally shook himself and gave her a tender smile, "It just took you to remind me of it."

A bit disbelievingly she asked, "My pointing out all your faults reminded you of the power of unconditional love?"

"Yes."

Even though he said only one word, the power of his thoughts suddenly enveloped her. Mara wasn't trying to read him but she had been loosening her mental shields all throughout the meal. He was suddenly there, through the bond. Admiration, respect, gratitude, and love flowed into her. It was overwhelming and comforting all at once.

Mara's first instinct was to reinforce her barriers, so instead, she let the emotions flow and after a moment extended her own self toward him. She let herself embrace his feelings and let him feel her own trepidation, admiration, respect, and love.

The moment was less all-encompassing then fighting for their lives in the cloning chamber yet all the more intimate because it was a quiet, mutual exchange. Their minds came together slowly, tentatively. Like a court dance where the partners took turns leading, following, swirling in patterns of pure emotion. Mara could sense every sentiment that came to him. Enjoyment at their meal, happiness at the proposed peace with the Empire, relief to be away from the Hand of Thrawn, and foremost in his mind, pleasure at being in her company.

She followed that train of thought and let him feel just how much she was enjoying their time together, the humor of his jokes, the exuberance of their banter, and the appeal of this new wardrobe.

Her mind entangled with his. Luke's pleasure and hers mingled to the point where they were indistinguishable from each other. Lost in each other's eyes without actually using them to see.

The dance would have continued if they hadn't been interrupted by the return of the waiter droid.

"May I get you gentles anything else? Some caf perhaps?"

Their shields fell into place so fast that it was like a physical blow. She actually winced and saw a tightening around Luke's eyes that suggested he was also experiencing the loss as a tangible reaction.

They declined anything further and when the droid left, Mara tried to rein in her discomfort over how intimate a moment had passed between Luke and herself. In the middle of a cafe.

They finished their last few bits in silence. Both safely back behind their mental shields. Mara wasn't sure about Luke, but she was unnerved with the depth that the bond had allowed in a short span of time and in such a public place. She was sure that the other patrons and staff had been completely oblivious to their mental exchange. But it bothered her and she wasn't sure why.

Part of the reason may stem from being completely surprised by the server. Even with a droid, to lose her awareness because she was so wrapped up in something, or someone, had not happened in a very long time.

The second most worrying aspect was her previous mental connection to the Emperor. While this felt nothing like those brief, cold, and always one-sided exchanges, she'd vowed to herself never to allow anyone that level of access to her mind and then the Force had gone and made an even deeper connection.

The other reasons were more elusive. Embarrassment was part of it. So was discomposure and uncertainty. Even though it was all of those things there was more to it. Whatever it was, she would need to think on it more to pin it down.

The sky had been steadily darkening and twilight had crept up on them as they talked and ate. Mara hadn't even noticed the air chilling with the setting sun but she now felt the bite of the breeze through her light jacket. After settling their bill using a dummy account Karrde had set up, they started back to their building in silence. But whereas the walk to the cafe had been companionable, the walk back was tense. Mara was completely out of her element. She liked things straightforward and didn't care how others perceived her. But she had always cared with Luke and nothing was ever straightforward with him. Now even more so. She wished he would say something but he seemed lost in his own mind.

Great, she thought. The one time I need Luke's overly emotional insights and he's giving me space. And he was. Literally. Luke was walking further away than before and she could tell he was keeping his thoughts and feelings tightly contained. She wished for the warmth of both his mind and body.

She would either need to ask him or figure it out for herself. Whatever it was.

They arrived back at the house still ensconced behind their shields. Mara was just passing through the living area when Luke cleared his throat.

Turning she saw the skin between his eyebrows pinched in a slight frown and his eyes were worried and apologetic. "Look, Mara, I…" he began.

"Did absolutely nothing wrong," she finished for him, trying to reassure him that this was her issue and not his.

"But you…" he tried to say and but she again didn't let him finish.

"Returned the contact in the cafe. I didn't have to, but I did. If anyone should apologize it should be me. We were having a really nice time and then I just shut down."

"No, you didn't know what would happen. I didn't even know that such a simple contact would turn so...intense so quickly."

The next words she spoke were difficult to get out. Emotional openness was not her forte, but they needed to be said. "I guess we have some experimenting to do. Hopefully next time somewhere less public."

"So you're not… I guess I just thought..." he stuttered.

"That I'd been scared off?" She finished for him. "I wasn't. Just caught off guard." And to prove her point she reopened the link between them. She was not surprised to find him there, waiting. Guarded, but not closed off as she had been. She sent him a wave of reassurance and she saw the frown lines on Luke's face replaced with a more hopeful expression.

"But I won't lie and say I'm completely comfortable with the level of access you have to my emotions. Or even vice versa."

"I understand," he said coming to stand before her. "We can take this at any speed you want."

"Anything slower than lightspeed would be good," she said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Sublight?" he asked hopefully.

"How about we try groundspeeder and work our way up?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you…" Luke had begun to turn away to his own room, no doubt wanting to give her space but Mara stopped him with a hand on his arm. He turned back with a question in his eyes and mind but she leaned in and kissed him. It was the first time she had kissed him. There was nothing gentle about the kiss and the surprise she felt from him was not wholly unexpected, but the quick flash of desire that was abruptly blocked left her wanting to deepen the kiss. Bring the yearning back to the fore.

"You don't need to hide from me, Skywalker," she whispered against his lips and it was as if a floodgate had just been opened as his desire met with hers in an astonishing blaze of passion.

The next kiss was a hungry exchange, each eager for another taste. His hands came up the cup her face and hers found his hips of their own accord.

When they broke apart for air he said in a husky whisper, "This seems a little faster then groundspeeder. More like a swoop bike."

Before he could close the minute distance between their mouths she tapped his lips with her forefinger. "You're right. And as much as I would like to see where this goes..." She kissed him quickly again before pulling out of his hands, "I think we need to come to a better understanding of all of..." Mara passed her hands between them and then tapped her temple, "...this."

Luke took his own step back and inhaled deeply before letting out a cleansing, centering breath. "I agree. What we have or could potentially have is too important to me to rush into anything."

At least not yet, she thought as she stepped back to head to her room, thankful for his understanding, "I'll see you tomorrow." Even as she said it, she felt a pull low in her stomach that made her think she was mad for insisting on a 'delay'.

"Tomorrow," he said as she walked away.

Author's Notes:

Last year I wrote the finale of a series that had no beginning. This is that beginning. Work has already begun on part 2 and a sequel to Because The Night so bear with me as the rest of the parts of the series may not be presented in order but I do have an outline for the whole thing.

Special thanks to my lovely beta Evilmouse for putting up with fixing the same typos on every story. I'll learn someday.

And to Celinamarinss for giving this a test read when it just didn't feel like it was quite right yet.