Like a Moth to a Flame

Gray wasn't sure of when it had all begun.

Currently he was sitting at a secluded table, slightly hidden despite having a good vantage point of the comings and goings of his guildmates.

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best of ideas to be at one of the places the reason of his turmoil might enter at any given point.

He wasn't there yet.

For now.

It gave Gray some respite. Even though he was aware that it could be broken at any given moment.

So, for the moment, Gray sat – hid – and contemplated.

Before him was a half-empty mug, he would pick the mug up at random moments, give it a swirl so that its contents sloshed around, while looking at the shallow depths before letting out a sigh and placing it back on the tabletop.

He needed this time alone.

He needed to order his thoughts, to make sense of the senseless, to come to a conclusion.

The whole time since he'd gotten to the guild in the morning – and here Gray could hear the teasing voice laughing, correcting him that it was more afternoon than morning – he'd failed to get to a conclusion.

So, if that didn't let him get anywhere, he needed to change his point of view. So he went back.

Back to the beginning when they met.

It had been instantaneous. An almost explosive reaction.

Because that's what happened when they got together – everyone would became aware of that soon enough.

And it became a game. A tight-rope kind of thing where they would walk on but it was better not to press too much.

Natsu and Gray.

Both their names came to mean trouble.

Yet…

Yet they kept finding ways to get back in trouble, to try to outdo the other.

A firm rivalry was established.

But they also got into hot water enough times together to forge a deeper, oft hidden, friendship underneath.

It was strange.

It was good.

And Gray wouldn't change any of it for the world.

Because while Natsu became his absolute rival, the one to beat at every and all times – that Natsu also made the door that Gray had closed off after all the crap he'd been though open once again. And by opening that door Gray had found a new family then.

And so they grew up.

It was messy, it was loud and filled with laughter, tears, fighting. It was fun and the best.

But Gray had also noticed that, at one point, an unmentionable wall had risen between them.

Gray chalked it to them being busy; missions making them head in different directions at different times.

Fortunately, they always managed to come back home, to the guild.

That didn't mean that their fights weren't still going, no. They fought.

Gray had noticed, with some bitterness, that things had become too serious during said fights.

There was a strain in their relationship. To the point of them acting almost as strangers to each other.

Gray found ways to distract himself. But a certain hollow still remained. A Natsu-shaped hollow that Gray pretended didn't exist.

While reminiscing, Gray suddenly noticed that he was no longer alone. Juvia had taken the chance of Gray being distracted to sit across from him at the table.

She didn't say anything but the air of anticipation over something that surrounded her made Gray uncomfortable.

"I'd like to be alone." Gray said, unprompted, even before she could open her mouth to speak.

Defeat spread over her features for an almost too quick moment before she left. Leaving Gray by himself once again.

The ice mage folded his arms on top of the table, resting his head in them. A moment of relief spreading over him as the air became breathable again.

Juvia always seemed to be shrouded in what seemed to be a heavy aura and Gray just didn't need that at the moment.

But the main reason for his turmoil still stood.

Natsu.

After all they'd been through, everything came back to Natsu and him, invariably.

And Gray couldn't deny it – he had to be honest with himself. He felt the pull. The deep connection between them.

Gray was drawn to him, Natsu was his true North.

And Gray would go.

Always.

Like a moth to the flame.

Not caring if he risked burning, being consumed by that tremendous fire.

Gray relied on Natsu to bring down the icy walls he raised. And in exchange Gray would calm the impetuous streak of the fire mage.

It felt right.

If Gray believed in silly things, he might say that they were fated to be together, in an eternal dance of seeing who among them would win.

However that wasn't exactly how Gray was.

Even if the pull between them was inevitable.

Even if, the more Gray thought about it, the more it made sense.

Even if he was slowly discovering new things about himself.

Different sides of the situation.

And then he realized that there was only one thing for him to do.

He had to talk to Natsu.

Timing seemed to be on his side because he noticed Natsu and Happy entering the guild, chatting excitedly.

His decision made, Gray stood and walked towards Natsu.

The fire mage looked confused at him for an instant but when Gray grasped his hand walking outside, a muttered "we should talk" the only thing he said, he allowed Gray to lead him.

Gray caught himself. Nerves starting to rise on his belly due to anticipation. But it was time they understood whatever this thing between them was.

Gray really needed an answer.