A/N: Fine, damnit! The Black Faction gets a turn!

Only a few more classes left! Saver and Moon Cancer! That's it! Then we're done and we can start for real!

Well, there's A Most Unlikely Collection, but that's just for the content that never made it off the cutting room floor or one reason or another.

THEN THE MASS UPDATES CAN BEGIN~!

But sadly, there is a matter I must bring to your attention.

...let it be known that I do NOT enjoy being called a dumb fuck.

That's actually worth noting considering my self-esteem's worse than Hashirama's...

Long story short, when people insult me, I don't write. When I don't write, I don't update. Simple as that. Spamming hateful words and reviews that reek of napalm will only make me clamp down all the more, you know. If you have a problem tell me in clear concise terms. Don't tell me to go jerk off in a sock or kill myself or hang my dog. If you have a problem with me then by all means, let us talk it out like civilized gentlemen; not fling insults at one another needlessly.

Bloody hell.

Alter Ego didn't quite get the reception I was hoping for-given that Naruto and Kurama basically fused together-but that's fine. I'm used to getting flak for trying new ideas.

So here, have something I'm certain no one has tried before.

Now the power rankings change once more!

(1) Foreigner!Naruto/Alter Ego!Naruto-Kurama!

(2) Saber!Naruto!

(3) Ruler!Naruto!

(4) Berserker!Naruto!

(5) Beast!Naruto! (Weakened)

Oh, and speaking of Beast!Naruto! The one who thinks he's a beast but isn't?

If you thought what Alter Ego did to him was bad...ohohoho...just wait until you later chapters.

Once again, I own no references or established quotes within! Hope you enjoy the ride, now here we go!

As ever this will be gone in two days if you don't like it. Gunner, Launcher, and Gatekeeper already met such a fate. Meaning? The Beast devoured them.

I'm trying a different writing style here as an experiment, I do hope you like it...? Further clarification, this is HOKAGE Naruto, but he didn't lose his hair, unlike the original.

"Ah, yes. Morality is quite an abstract subject.

To the little girl standing behind me, I am undoubtedly a hero.

Yet, to you, I really am the bad guy. Very well. Let the best concept of morality win."

~Foreigner.

A Most Unlikely Foreigner

Special, they called me.

You're going to do great things, Naruto. You're the child of prophecy. Touched by a goddess. Unique. Prodigy son of Minato and Kushina. Our Hero. Our Lord. Our Savior. Praise him. Praise him. No! Stop that! Praise is all well and good, but I don't want to be worshiped! I'm no god! Knock it off already, ya louts! Seriously! I'll hit you if I have to!

Damn cult!

I don't care what they say these days, I don't particularly feel touched. Sure my hair might've gone white since that brawl with Kaguya, and I might be a bit taller now, but that doesn't make me special, does it? I don't need some cult following after me and warping rumors into truth. I'm just a man. So what if have these big-ass horns poking out of my forehead? Does that make me an oni or something? I think not! I'm still me. I'm still Naruto. I just...look a little different. Yes, that's all.

Oh.

I get it now.

Its because of her, isn't it?

I touched a god and resisted, thus that makes me special.

We were supposed to stop her, Sasuke and I. Seal her. Instead, we accidentally destroyed her. At the end, she tried to turn into...something. I still don't know what it was, only that it was large and hideous. Monstrous. It took everything we had to eradicate her before she could finish transforming into that abomination. I remember watching her crumble, seeing her body turn to dust, weeping in the wind. Her last howl was more Beast than that of a woman. When she crumbled we thought she was gone forever.

Until we found a little girl, cradled in the wreckage of that giant body.

A child bearing white hair and pale skin; a terrifying creature with red horns and skin the color of ashen tears.

The rest of my team-my friends!-wanted to kill her on the spot. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Even after Sasuke and I fought, even after we defeated one another and each lost an arm...I didn't let them destroy her. I couldn't. Something told me it would be wrong. Maybe I should have let them go through with it, but I couldn't. Some might call that illogical. Screw logic, I said. I had to swear up and down that I'd take care of her-take responsibility for her actions-before they even let her into the village. I didn't expect a bloody cult to spring up three months later and start worshiping her-us!-like we were demigods or something!

Now what do I do?

I don't know.

She's taken to following me about like a shadow, a lost little puppy without a master. She doesn't look at anyone else. Doesn't talk to anyone else. A little girl with the appearance of a ten-year-old, one who could barely toddle after me at first without stumbling like a newborn. Now she won't let go of my hand. Gods this is awkward. At least I convinced her to wear clothes. If I hadn't, things would've been...bad. But did it have to be an orange sundress? You're getting weird looks, oi!

I want to believe she's an innocent.

Maybe this wee sprite of a girl isn't really Kaguya, isn't that monster we defeated. If so, she's only a child now. I promised that I would take her of her. I never go back on my word. I keep telling myself that there's naught to worry about really; in this state she's no threat to anyone save herself-

Urk.

She just called me Daddy.

Oh, gods. I wasn't ready for that. I can feel everyone staring at me. No! Wait! This is a misunderstanding! I swear! I didn't tell her to call me that, really! That did it. My reputation is officially ruined. I'm not cut out to be a single parent. Maybe I could find somehow to help me? Put out an advertisement, you know? "Single parent looking for potential partner to raise an unruly god-child" No? Too subtle? Aw, hell. I've got a bad feeling about this, but I can't just leave her alone, ya know? I feel...like she needs someone.

Someone to show her the difference between right and wrong.

Some people will curse me for this. Say I'm the bad guy for taking her in.

But am I? I'm just doing what I feel is right. I can't bear to leave her behind like this.

I'm gonna go down in history for raising her, I just know it. She's gonna get all kinds of bad habits.

What? Why are you looking at me like that? What did I say? Hey! Don't look at me like that! I'm not a freaking lolicon!

(...0o0o0...)

What was she thinking?

What had possessed her to conduct her summoning alone? Suspicion? Regret? Jealousy?

...guilt?

Fiore Forvedge Yggdmillennia knew she shouldn't be conducting her summoning alone-not when everyone else planned a single summoning later that night-but here she was in the throne room regardless. It felt like she was betraying her brother, but something spurred her on in spite of her own silent fear. Grandfather had already summoned his Servant long ago-and what a monster that one was-in this very room some weeks before; perhaps the location would grant her luck, given that she'd mysteriously misplaced her catalyst for the ritual.

Her catalyst was mean to be broken remnants of what might've been an arrow, once.

Or a horn.

She'd had the ritual words drilled into her years ago, she'd known what she was preparing for.

They flowed from her as natural as breathing, spilling out into the world alongside the blood from her opened palm.

"If you heed my sincerity, answer!" the last of the chant wrapped around the summoning circle at her non-responsive feet and the world blazed blue.

Despite her success, the young master did not feel a tug on her circuits; nor experience any strain on her veins. The homunculus system was in place to prevent any such strain on the Master's part. In this moment she almost thought it was a shame. Without it she initially couldn't discern who or what she had summoned, nor how strong they were. In the end she was forced to wait for the smoke to clear, to watch it waft away against the high ceiling. In time, it cleared enough for her to make sense of what-who!-she was looking at.

"Well, well, well!" a young man's resonant voice boomed off the walls and into the arcane haze. "Looks like we got lucky this time around eh, kiddo?"

"Mmm. Very lucky." A girl's voice answered, and it didn't belong to Fiore. "Who is she?"

"Likely our new Master." came the sardonic reply.

"She's...small." was her instant retort.

"So are you." he snickered.

"How rude!"

What.

As the smoke continued to wane, two separate pairs of eyes gazed placidly back at Fiore, one blue as the deepest ocean, the other pale as driven snow. Two of them. A duo. Plural. A pair, rather. As in more than one and whatinthebluehellwasgoinonhere?! Fear seized her faltering heart in a vicious vice and she shrank back in her wheelchair, suddenly terrified for her safety. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Stupid girl! Had she bungled the summon somehow? Was this an enemy Servant of Red, come to take her life? She hadn't brought her bronze link manipulator; if they took it into their head to attack, she wouldn't be able to defend herself in time. Still, her mind gibbered madly.

Two of them?

That shouldn't be possible.

And yet her vision didn't waver.

"Don't be so tense," the young man uttered a jaw-popping yawn and palmed his mouth. "We're on your side, you know. You summoned us, didn't you?"

The girl's head bobbed in mild agreement.

"Summoned us." she parroted him with a small smile.

"Hey, talk normally, you know." her companion admonished sternly.

With that Fiore's gaze snapped toward the larger of the unlikely duo, watching like a skittish mouse as he removed what might've been a hat of some sort to reveal whiskered cheeks, blue eyes, and blond hair gone almost pure silver, through stress or other means she knew not. Twin horns the color of scarlet skies jutted from the center of his forehead, poking around the curved plate of a well kept headband bearing the sigil of a leaf. As to his attire...beneath a white cloak bearing red flames, she glimpsed a long orange-sleeved shirt and a pair of dark pants with matching sandals. He looked almost...fatherly by comparison.

"Who are you?"

"Me?" the larger of the two blinked before an easy smile bloomed on his whiskered cheeks. "That's an easy one. Uzumaki Naruto, at your service!"

"No. Not allowed." A pale finger poked his cheek insistently, muffling the last word. "Not fair. My turn."

"Oh, right, right." Naruto's head bobbed. "The runt's called Kaguya. Say hello, Kaguya."

She waved cheerily.

"Hello~!"

Fiore reluctantly risked a glance at her, this companion who couldn't have been more unusual if she tried. Whereas "Naruto" was a healthy young man with admittedly odd horns and a grin to match, his ally was anything but. Where he was large, she was short. While he was loud, she had seemed soft-spoken and almost painfully...shy.

Until now.

Now she was looking at her, and Fiore wasn't sure she liked that look.

Clad in little more than an orange sundress with a pair of long dark breeches to preserve her modesty, she couldn't have stood more than four feet tall. All in all she was a small sprite of a girl with pale skin and ashen hair, she nevertheless laid claim to him in an almost childish way; taking up residence on his back, draping herself atop his shoulders and head in a crude parody of a daughter riding on her father's back. She too possessed a pair of horns, though unlike his own, hers jutted further toward the middle of her head.

Those horns almost seemed to glow in the faint light as the unnamed girl gazed down at her.

Beneath their shared gaze, she dared to ask the question that had been nagging at her for the last five minutes.

"Are you...Archer?"

Merry blue eyes twinkled back at her.

"Nope. We're Foreigner."

"We?" Fiore squeaked out. "So there really are two of you."

Kaguya tilted her head. "You're not very bright, are you, Master?"

Quick as a flash Naruto reached over his shoulder and flicked Kaguya in the forehead for her cruel remark. Fiore started a bit in her chair, otherwise steadied herself at the sudden-if parental-display of aggression from the duo claiming to be her Servant. Sure enough, a pained yelp greeted him as she swayed on his back. "OW! That hurt, daddy!"

"What have I told you about being rude?" he admonished.

Her face turned inward in a childish pout.

...no to be?"

"Good girl." he grunted. "Now apologize."

"How?" the pale girl sulked.

Those keen blue eyes turned back to Fiore, as though regarding her for the first time. They noticed her legs. Narrowed. Even as silent shame flooded her cheeks, that stern gaze didn't waver. Foreigner seemed to consider for a moment longer, then his gaze snapped back to his other half. No words were exchanged between the two of them, but judging by the way the latter's brow furrowed, an accord was struck regardless.

"Really?" Kaguya whined. "Do I have to, papa? We were only just summoned. I'm still tired...

"You hurt her feelings, so yes." he flicked her forehead again. "Do it. Now."

"Fine, you're such a softie, papa...

Fiore jolted.

"No, really, its fine-

Before the magus could think to protest further, Kaguya moved.

In a single bound she hopped off his shoulder and slid to her side. There was something unnatural about the movement; she didn't so much as walk as she did glide. Every movement was measured and calculated, grace personified, exactly the sort of thing you wouldn't expect from a little girl. But this wasn't a little girl, was she? She was a Heroic Spirit-or at least part of one according to Naruto's claim-yet the eerie serene smile she saw lurking on that pallid face was almost horrifying to behold. As if she were but a shadow, a fragment of something that had once been...more.

"Try not to move." the words wrapped around her body like a noose and the young master found herself helpless but to obey. "This might be...painful."

A pale, perfect hand descended upon her right knee and grasped it gently.

Moments later, the left quietly took up residence on the other.

And suddenly, Fiore found she could feel her legs.

Her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

"What...what have you...?"

Pain snarled up her spine, but only for a moment; because in the next she was too overwhelmed to experience anything else. Her toes twitched. Her legs felt numb, as though they were only just now waking from a long and terrible sleep, bringing a thousand pins and needless with it. Fiore didn't care; because she could feel it. Everything. She could still feel her magic circuits humming happily, awake and active within her legs as if they had never hurt her at all, but moreover she could feel them. Move them. This was the greatest gift she could've been given. Greater even than the Grail itself.

"There." Kaguya sniffed imperiously as she vaulted onto Naruto's shoulder. "Now I'll be useless for the rest of the day. I hope you're happy, Papa."

Naruto hummed contentedly

"Quite happy." he patted her little head, drawing a pleased purr from his other self. "Now, then...

Even as Fiore struggled to grasp this sudden-and blessed!-change of pace, the other half of Foreigner approached her and bent the knee with quiet regal grace. A long hand rose, palm up, fingers splayed. There was no lust in his smile, only a warm empathy that she knew all too well, one that rather reminded her of her brother. He made no move to touch her, nor to grab her hand, anything at all. Instead he patiently waited for her to come to terms with all that she'd been given; allowing her to reach out of her own accord.

"May I?" his voice sent a quite shiver shooting down her spine.

Slowly, reluctantly, Fiore's fingers curled around his.

And she stood.

When her Servant pulled her to her feet, the young Master nearly tumbled to the floor. Her legs wobbled weakly, muscles atrophied from years of disuse and only his firm grip on her hand prevented her from falling on the spot. Yet as he held her, as she clung to him for dear life, something changed. A healing pulse fled from his hand and pooled in the aching muscles of her legs. It was not an immediate cure for her malady; it did not grant her the strength to walk on the spot...but it did speed the process somewhat. Enough for her to stand, if only for a moment.

Tears sprang to her eyes and this time, she couldn't fight them.

Years of pent up emotions came rushing out at once and she was swept up in their flood.

They came without word or warning; one moment she was gaping up at the kindly soul who'd given her legs back; the next she was blubbering into his chest like a little girl. A small part of her felt him stiffen awkwardly at this sudden and unexpected contact, but he made no move to tear himself away-likely because he was still holding her up. Kaguya muttered something and looked away, but she unbent enough to pat her head despite her earlier animosity. Fiore only cried harder.

"Oh, jeeze!" Foreigner sputtered and began to squirm helplessly. "Look, I know you're emotional and all but I don't have any experience with this sort of thing!"

"I don't understand." She stammered out. "Why go to all this length for me, then? What did I do to deserve such kindness?"

Foreigner merely beamed back at her. "Its what I do, you know?"

That was the moment Fiore's world changed forever, though she knew it not.

It would be a glorious war that followed, one she would happily walk into for her Servant's sake.

After all, Fiore had just been given her dearest, most treasured wish. How else could she possibly repay him?

You see, in that moment the poor girl had no hope of turning back; because she'd fallen hopelessly, utterly, irrevocably in love with her Servant.

A/N: Aw, little Kaguya's a good girl~!

Aaaaaaaand Fiore's fallen in love.

Feels good to have a more light-hearted take on things here...with its own darker moments coming up. Consider this Naruto a rogue Servant, one who wanders rather than fights.

But when he DOES fight...oh, boy.

And he's a proud-if unwilling-papa of a little Kaguya.

She's so deeply intertwined into his legend that he can only ever be summoned with her...much to his chagrin. Now don't give me that look! Its been done before! Bonny and Read, as well as Artemis and Orion. Poor Naruto. Everyone sees Foreigner as a lolicon. I couldn't help myself, that absolutely made me and my team howl with laughter. Putting him in the Black Faction makes it even more of a mess. He'll flat out say what manner of woman he prefers, but through unfortunate misunderstandings and such he just can't seem to win.

OPEN SPOTS ARE OPEN VOTES! REVIEW AWAY ME HEARTIES!

Well, Berserker of Red is settled already, as you'll see.

So In the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

Some are serious.

Some are silly!

(Preview)

"Ha? My wish? I guess...

His smile broke her heart into a thousand pieces.

"I'd like a family. Not just for me, but for the kid too, ya know?"

...goodbye, old friend."

"DESTROY!"

"Long time no see, Master~!"

"Get up!" she shook him fiercely, desperately as the enemy approached. "You have to get up!"

...give up, child. That fool will never rise again. I've done you a favor."

"Quiet! Shut up! I hate you!"

...that is your right."

And he struck.

"He just hit you!" little Kaguya hissed in his ear. "What are you going to do about that?!"

Naruto roared.

"HIT HIM HARDER!"

And the world absolutely erupted.

"Bad girl! None of that! No Cthulhu powers up in here!"

His fellow Foreigner hissed. "What are you-ow!"

His hand descended ruthlessly.

"NARUTO CHOP!"

...I'm dissapointed in you, Foreigner."

"Its not like that~!" the blond wailed helplessly.

"What the hell are you supposed to be? I can't get a read on you."

Berserker growled, low and deep in his throat.

"My name...is Arjuna. Prepare to die."

"Oh balls-

R&R~!