When The

Universe Laughs

Disclaimer: This was inspired by Turbomagnus' 63rd chapter of 'Women Are From Earth, Men Are From Krypton', titled 'The Third Edge'. Which is a follow up to my 'The Other Side Of The Equation' fic.

"Honestly, Jonathan, I don't see the problem! Clark's a fine young man and I'm happy my Lutessa has found such a fine upstanding fellow!" Declared one Lionel Luthor to fellow father Jonathan Kent.

Who was just in no way happy at all about the current state of affairs! Affairs involving his adopted son from another planet, Clark Kent. Whom, upon meeting Lutessa 'Tess' Mercer-Luthor, Alexander 'Lex' Luthor's sister by several years apart, had practically fallen head over heels in love with the girl. Making him forget all about his crush on Lana Lang and funnily enough, allowing him and Lana's boyfriend, Whitney Fordman, to actually become friends. Well, after Clark had pranked him a couple more times for the Scarecrow incident anyway. Something Jonathan had immediately blamed the influence of the Luthor siblings on after he later learned of the whole thing! The farmer/husband/father was of the high opinion that Lionel's daughter dating his only son was some plot to gain further inroads to Smallville.

And that she'd end up dumping his son in the most horrible way possible once said plot was done and over with. But not on his watch, no sir! He wasn't gonna let it happen! Unfortunately for him, years of being repressed for the good of his own safety and the family's had caused cracks to form in Clark. Cracks of rebellion and a number of other things that is and not willing to see things for as they were, Jonathan naturally blamed it on the influence of the Luthors. Now Lionel, at first, wasn't too enthused about his little girl dating farm boy from Smallville of all places. At least until he realized several things. One being that it was one Clark Kent, the second being that he was rather good for his little girl and wasn't after her for money or status, and the third? Well, nobody ever accused him of anything false where being a bastard was concerned!

As the man greatly enjoyed the fact that Jonathan Kent was NOT happy about the whole situation between their respective children. There had even been a number of occasions where he had offered young Clark tips on where to take his little girl for dates. All within full view of cameras and such that he knew would have photographic and video evidence in newspapers and in the news broadcasts by the next day that Jonathan would be able to see. See and lose his cool and make an ass of himself. Jonathan scowled at the smiling man as he pointed a finger at him. "Its some kind of sick game of yours, Luthor!"

"Considering my sister and Clark have been together nearly 4 years now, that's a really long sick game." Lex pointed out from nearby in a dry manner.

Earning himself a scowling glare from the farmer for his efforts. Not that this deterred him any! "And plus, its a no brainer those two are gonna get married. Meaning that he'll my brother in another way!"

"I've always thought of Clark as another son and it'd be an honor to have him in the family."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU ALL NEED TO STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SON! WHOM SHOULD BE DATING SOMEONE LIKE LANA, OR CHLOE, OR THAT WILLOWBROOK GIRL!"

"Uhh, it turns out that Kyla's really into other girls, Mr. Kent." Declared Pete who nearly pissed himself when the man turned his glare on to him!

Though this was only actually discovered when Tess talked not only Clark into doing a threesome, but Kyla as well. It was perhaps the greatest thing ever pulled off in the history of Humanity thanks to Clark's morals (which weren't all that of the American Farm Boy Persuasion these days) and stubbornness and Kyla's distrust in Luthors. If Pete didn't still have his issues with the Luthors, he'd seriously consider nominating Tess for the US Presidency. Deciding to get things back on track somewhat, Lionel spoke up. "Honestly, Jonathan, its long since past time for you to get over this ridiculousness where my family and Clark is concerned. I could care less if the boy has powers or not. Hell, I've been transferring a lot of my ownership of properties to the Queens and the Swanns for Goodness sakes! If only so that I don't have to be here so often these days!"

For there were other pastures anew for him to partake in after all. And of course, to add fuel to the fire because the man couldn't help himself, he pointed out that the lovely Martha clearly agreed with him judging by the look of exasperation on her face. "I'd sooner encourage Clark to date that Baker girl then accept him and Tess. And we all know how her relationship with sanity is."

"Actually, that's just a front she puts on so everyone leaves her alone." Chloe added in helpfully and got a glare in return.

Man, seeing this happen is ALWAYS better then seeing a movie!

Sure, it sucked like nothing else that Tess had what she wanted but at least there was some entertainment value in the whole thing to make up for it for the most part! "I'm putting my foot down on this, Luthor. Your daughter is to stay the Hell away from my son from this point on! If I have too, I will send him far away from here so he can be safe from the influence of all Luthors!" Shouted Jonathan.

And for him, sending his only son to Martha's father was as far as it got! Well… Unless he really wanted to be drastic and see if Jor-El could do something. But he wasn't ready to go that far just yet! But damnit, he was done with the Universe laughing at him! "Well, looks like we have perfect timing as usual, Clark." Announced a female voice.

Causing those present to look towards the source to see one Lutessa 'Tess' Mercer-Luthor and Clark Kent. "I'm still convinced you have a secret Meteor power for this kind of thing." Clark told her, making the Redheaded beauty roll her eyes good naturedly.

For it wasn't the first time he'd brought that argument up and she knew it wouldn't be the last! "No, babe, I just have an impeccably good sense of excellent timing."

Plus… It was pure luck half the time on her part! But she wasn't gonna mention that to him anytime soon! It'd ruin the fun of the whole thing! "Well, anyway, before Clark got us off track..."

"What can I say? Its fun." Shrugged the young man in question and getting a mock glare from the Redhead.

"As I was saying, as we yet again appear to have good timing, we have an announcement to make." Declared Tess.

While noticing Lana was no where to be found. Which probably meant she was stuck at the Talon or having a picnic/poetry session with the good Byron Moore. Everyone looked at the two expectantly, though it should be said that Jonathan's eye was twitching. Most likely thinking of something he felt was horrible. Like the girl being pregnant by his son. And it being part of some foul plot. "Actually, Tess, we have TWO announcements to make."

"Oh, that's right!"

Jonathan's fists were so tight his knuckles were pure white. Something an amused Lionel noticed as he just lived for that sort of thing. "Clark and I have decided that once we've graduated high school, we're gonna go back packing across Japan!"

"And… Since we're engaged now, we're gonna get married after that's done." Clark added with a wide grin on his face.

Greatly shocking everyone present and for his dad to grind his teeth as he looked at an elated Lionel. Whom was about to give a hardy congratulations to the two when a certain Farmer interrupted that. "Lionel?"

"Hmm? Yes, Jonathan?"

"I'M GONNA WRING YOUR NECK!" Shouted the man as he went after the Billionaire with a red face.

Martha groaned loudly and hid her face in her hands as Clark used his powers to keep his dad from following through on his threat. "Well, here's to many, many years of quality family moments between us." Lionel told the irate man with a smile.

Something that only served to further set off the good farmer. "LET ME GO, CLARK!" Damn the Universe!

Author's Notes: Heh, that was tons of fun!