Another day. Another planet. This one looked like Minnesota, and he immediately liked this mission. What could possibly go wrong in Minnesota? He fell back as Carter, Daniel and Teal'c spread out. Maybe this would be one of these trips. Chatting with Carter while waiting for Daniel to finish translations. Or chatting with Daniel while waiting for Carter to collect stones, or dirt, or whatever it was she sampled. Or sitting silently with Teal'c while Carter and Daniel geeked out together. Apparently, this was a very boring planet. Under normal circumstances too boring for SG1 but Hammond had given them a breather after Carter had been lost in space, and hunted by a Kull, after he had been wounded and they all mourned Janet's death. They needed to ease back into things. So here they were, unknowingly stumbling into an ambush and hours later he found himself strapped onto a wall, with Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c in some Goa'Uld mothership dungeon. Just at the moment, Ba'al stabbed a knife into Jack's heart because he wouldn't give him his recently acquired ancient knowledge. Things were going just well. And while Jack was being tortured, killed and revived by the sarcophagus, Daniel was walking up and down in their cell.

"I'm worried about how he will come out of this," Daniel said, rubbing his forehead.

"He's strong, Daniel. He got through it last time; he will again," Sam answered without a doubt. If anyone could go through something like this—twice—it was him.

"It was bad…"

"I read the report."

"I was there."

Sam swirled around. "What?"

"He didn't tell you?" Daniel felt uneasy from the way she bored her eyes into him.

"What are you talking about?"

"I was there… I 'appeared'," he said for the lack of a better word. "I was there every time he came back to his cell." Daniel paused and looked at her.
"He wanted to die, Sam."

First, she didn't know how to react. Then she felt anger boiling up in her. "And you did nothing?"

"Sam…"

"You just watched him suffer through this?"

Daniel was taken aback by the anger in her voice, the redness flushing her cheeks, the disgust in her eyes.

"You know I couldn't…"

"You had all these powers, and you just let him get tortured and killed over and over and over again."

"I was there for him, that's all I could do."

Sam huffed angrily and flashed her eyes at him. He had never seen her that upset—especially not towards him.

"He was broken when he came back. He didn't talk to me, to us. For days. He locked himself up in his cabin, and we had no way of getting to him." She tried her best to control her emotions but wasn't very successful.

"Sam…"

"Did you ever think about how we felt? What that did to us, as a team? We tried everything. We would have done anything to get him out of there. Anything. Hell, he only ended up there because," she choked on her own words. It had been her fault. The Colonel cut her off every time she tried to apologize. But she was sure only because he didn't want her to feel bad and not because he didn't blame her for it. She had pushed him to take the Tok'Ra. She had begged him. And back then, when she looked into his eyes, sharp for a brief second, she understood why he said yes. Not for him—but for her. After he was back, after she had stopped apologizing and after he was done avoiding her and everyone she had thought about telling him why. Why she couldn't let him go. Not because earth needed him, but because she had believed that if he could come back from this, they would have a chance—one day. But she didn't tell him and then she had almost lost him again when he disappeared on P5X-777 with Maybourne.

"It was not your fault ColonelCarter, and O'Neill does not blame you," Teal'c chimed in.

"Maybe he doesn't… but I do. And now he's in that same situation again. Because General Hammond sent us to P4X-765 to take it easy—because of me." She turned away, hiding the tear that slipped her composure.

"My Jaffa is telling me that your friends are fighting," Ba'al dropped casually and immediately got Jack's attention. So this was a new way at him, Ba'al noticed surprised. "They say, Major Carter is yelling at Daniel Jackson."

Usually, Jack would say something snappy, but he couldn't. He was trying to figure out if Ba'al was making this up or if Carter and Daniel were actually fighting. They never had. Usually, they were on the same team, and he couldn't think of one thing they could seriously fight over right now. Ba'al didn't let him wonder much longer and said, "Seems like you forgot to mention that last time I hosted you, Daniel Jackson came to visit."

Oh, that…

"It appears to me that Major Carter is pretty concerned about you."

Jack didn't like where Ba'al was going. He saw the mischievous look on Ba'al's face and knew he was onto something. His worry would be confirmed only minutes later when the door opened, and his heart dropped in a free fall. Two Jaffa were dragging Carter in. Her eyes jumped through the room like a wild animal, searching for the danger it smelled in the air. When her eyes found him, she frowned. He must look as bad as he felt.

"Major Carter. I'm glad you could join us," Ba'al said charmingly while he moved in circles around her, letting his eyes glide all over her body.

"I can't say I feel the same way," she snapped back at him.

Don't tease him, Carter, Jack thought, trying to tell her the same with his eyes.

"Too bad," Ba'al turned back to Jack. "Well Major Carter, let me explain what's happening here. Your Colonel has a piece of information I want," as he was talking, he strolled towards Jack, peeking over his shoulder once in a while to watch Carter closely. "As you know, he's pretty stubborn, and I'm afraid after our last intermezzo he got used to my preferred methods of getting people to talk."

Ba'al decided to demonstrate what he was talking about. Just like a devilish Home Shopping host, he grabbed the torture stick out of a Jaffa's hand and poked it into Jack's side. The pain that shot through him almost felt familiar, nevertheless it hurled him forward and let him gasp for air.

"Interestingly," Ba'al kept going, now standing right in front of Jack deliberately positioned in a way that Jack could see Carter and the other way around. "While he doesn't tell me what I want to know, I happened to pick up some, let's call them vibes." He waved his hands in the air, musing about this as if he was talking about some fun gossip he had picked up during brunch. "Feelings, you might say." Ba'al quickly glanced over to Carter and noticed his words weren't landing yet. "Which brings you, Major Carter—or should I say, Samantha—in the unfortunate position of helping me get the information I want."

Ba'al was now staring directly at Jack, who had done his best to keep his face under control. Ba'al's words did things to his body no physical torture had ever done. A cold sweat pearled down his back, his heartbeat accelerated while his head jumped to what Ba'al's words implied. He was going to hurt Carter. Badly. Endlessly. Until he got what he wanted from him.

"I don't think I can help you with that," Carter said. Her voice steady, but Jack could hear the fear in it.

"See, that's where I think you're wrong." Ba'al was waltzing back towards her.

"We are trained not to be influenced by our team member's pain," she said, but even Jack didn't buy it.

"Carter." It was the first time Jack said something. A warning, a 'just be quiet for crying out loud.'

Ba'al only granted him a quick satisfied glance, before he turned back to her. "Team members—maybe."

Jack watched as Ba'al nodded to the Jaffa and they let her go. He slowly moved around her until he was standing right behind her, so close Jack could see his breath ruffle her hair. A sick feeling rose in Jack, making him want to puke as he watched Ba'al lean closer and almost softly place his hand around her neck in a choking grip.
"But what about…" And then he leaned even closer. Carter winced when his lips brushed against her ear, and then he started to whisper so silently, Jack couldn't hear a word—but he could read her face. Shock ripped her eyes wide open. Her glance was pointing at Jack, digging into his heart. He tried to keep his face neutral, but he wasn't sure it was working. Everything on his inside was bubbling. If he could only get rid of those restraints, he would leap forward, rip him from her and kill that Ba'al snake with his bare hands. But he didn't even try. Any sign of emotion would only feed Ba'al's plan and in turn, would cause more pain to Carter.

"He's not going to give you what you want, no matter what you do to me." As usual, Carter was quicker than him. She had her cool back, at least in her voice.

A cruel grin spread on Ba'al's face. "We'll see. I have time and the feeling that I'm going to enjoy this very much." With those words, he lifted the torture stick and pressed it into her back. Carter reared from the pain, but not one sound was coming over her lips. The second she had her face composed again, she locked eyes with Jack. And they told him: Don't you dare to say a word. He tried to give her something back, something encouraging, but he knew this was just the beginning; she didn't even know yet what pain felt like.

Ba'al let go of her, and immediately one Jaffa grabbed her, lifted her and carried her to the back where she was strapped onto the wall—two straps around her ankles, two around her wrists, one around her neck. Just like him, she was pinned to the wall on the other side of the room. Far but close enough, so he was able to read her eyes. Ba'al gifted both with a sarcastic smile and said, "I'll leave you to it then." and left the room.

Jack stared at the door for a long time before he found the courage to look at her. What had Ba'al whispered into her ear? He wanted to know. But he knew this was just the first act in this play called torture. Ba'al wanted Jack to ask her and suffer when he heard the answer. Or, he wanted him to wear down while thinking about it. So he tried to push the thought away. Maybe he would allow himself to get lost in her blue. Looking at her eased his pain and healed some of the wounds the earlier torment had caused. But as soon as he found her eyes, he saw fear, anger, confusion, despair. He tried to communicate without words, not knowing what to tell her. That it was going to be okay? That he would protect her? None of the things were true, and he knew it. He would cause her the greatest pain she would ever feel—because he was not going to tell Ba'al what he wanted to know. Jack knew she was strong. She would last and try her best to make it easier for him to stay quiet. While he knew that, he had no idea how long he could watch her suffer. Not long, he assumed.

Seconds after his eyes had found hers, she broke the connection and looked away. Her expression almost hurt as much a nudge with the torture stick.

"Carter." Her name just tumbled over his lips. He wanted to ask if she was fine, but well, that was a stupid question. He wanted to ask what Ba'al had whispered but feared her reply. He wanted to say 'It's gonna be fine", but that was a lie. So all he asked was, "Daniel and T?"

"Still down there, Sir. No one came for us before they got me," she said so very professionally.

"Maybe they can get us out." It was only a slim shimmer of hope, but they had to believe in something.

"Maybe." She didn't sound convinced.

Jack tried to crack his neck, twist his arms, find a position that was slightly different from the one he had been strapped in for the past hours. But no chance. He couldn't move just like he couldn't move his brain away from the thought about what Ba'al had whispered to her. He didn't know what was worse: knowing or not knowing. He decided for not knowing.

"Carter?" It was a question, and she understood.

"It's fine, Sir," she smiled dimly, a lousy attempt to make it seem it was nothing.

"Carter." Now a command. He couldn't let it go. Something inside him told him that whatever Ba'al had said was making this situation worse. Would create more pain and suffering. And he knew she didn't tell him to protect him. She just didn't understand that he needed to know. Like really. It would drive him crazy.

"Tell me."

Before he could say another word, the doors opened, and Ba'al came in.

"Missed me already?" Jack said.

"I missed her. She much more beautiful in pain than you are." There was a wicked glint in Ba'al eyes.

Jack was taken aback, realizing that this was not only to get the information Ba'al wanted but equally for his pleasure. He noticed the way Ba'al was looking at Carter. How he gently pushed a strain of hair out of her face. And it made Jack furious. She was not his to touch like this.

The doors opened again, and two Jaffa carried a big box inside. They placed it in the middle of the room, and Ba'al seemed delighted.

"Oh, new toys," he rejoiced and pulled out something that looked like a neck brace. The Jaffa opened Carter's neck strap, and almost ceremonially Ba'al stepped towards her carrying the brace like a crown on his open palms. He put it around her neck and closed it tightly.

"Let's have some fun, shall we?" Ba'al said.

Jack growled as he watched Carter hang in there. She wasn't fighting the restraints or Ba'al's touch. Good Carter, save your energy, he thought.

"So, Colonel, where is it?" Ba'al stated the obvious question. The reason for all of this.

"You know, maybe next time stick your head into one of these machines. At least it's gonna kill you in the end." The second he finished his sentence, Carter's body convulsed in pain. Her head threw back against the wall, and her limbs stiffened in her shackles. Then, like her body was made from yell-o, she toppled, and her head dropped lifelessly. Jack winced; he didn't feel the pain and yet felt it just by watching her. All at once anger mixed into fear as he watched Ba'al lift her head and roughly shake her.

"Samantha, we're only getting started."

Carter's eyes fluttered open, and immediately she composed herself. She yanked her head out of Ba'al's grip and stared at him with an unbreakable glance. Ba'al seemed fascinated by her. He turned around and looked at Jack.

"I'm certainly enjoying this, so go ahead with your jokes," Ba'al was boring into him. "Make her laugh," he added with an angst-inducing undertone that gave Jack the chills.

He knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself.

"Bastard," he mumbled, unfortunately, loud enough for Ba'al to hear.

As a reply, another round of agony ripped through Carter's body. She didn't scream. But when the pain faded away, he saw blood dripping from her mouth, and he knew she had bitten her lips to let no sound escape—to make this easier for him. Carter, he thought and felt his heart skip a beat. Something that must have shown on his face, because Jack found Ba'al staring at him with a pleased smirk and the epiphany that torturing Carter was the right path to breaking Jack O'Neill. Without moving his eyes from Jack, Ba'al did whatever he had to do to active the brace and Carter's body was rattled again. This time much longer than before, but still, no sound made it over her lips. Then, she ripped her head back, and her eyes found his. He wanted to return her glance, be there for her, but he couldn't. The pain in her face ate him alive, so he lowered his eyes and hated himself for it. When he looked back up again, it was just the moment life was leaving her body. Ba'al noticed the panic spreading on Jack's face and turned to Carter. He lifted her head only to let it drop.

"Oops," he said in a way only the devil himself could speak. "I guess we'll have to try again."

Hours later, or days—who knew?—he woke from a quiet sound.

Carter had died.

And a little bit of him with her.

She had been put in a sarcophagus and brought back to life. But that little piece of him that she took when she exhaled her last breath couldn't be resurrected.

Now she was lying in the corner of the room. Jack was still strapped to the wall, and his head snapped up when she let out a groan.

"Carter?"

"Yeah," she mumbled, trying to push herself up.

Thank god, he thought. "Hey," he said instead.

"I think I died," she said and rubbed her sore neck.

"Yeah."

"Is that what he did to you last time?"

He had never talked to her about it. It was locked up deep inside of him, a place he was not ever willing to revisit it. But if she needed to know, he would open it up for her.

"Kinda. Not that neck thing."

Many other things, he thought and hoped that Carter wouldn't have to go through any of them.

"It's pretty bad."

"Yeah."

She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Jack watched her head bob to the side, immediately worried that life had left her again.

"Carter," he said tensed.

She didn't react.

"Carter!" he said again. Louder. Even more worried.

"Just a minute," she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

He let out a breath and leaned back himself. He'd been strapped to this wall since Ba'al had noticed pain and torture wouldn't make Jack talk after he had killed him seven times. Everything hurt, and he was so thirsty.

"Carter," he said again, and finally her eyes opened. Looking into them gave him peace—at least for the moment.

"I know you're the one who just died, but could you give some water? I'm kinda stuck here."
She nodded, and he watched her slowly get up to her feet. He knew how wobbly it felt. Being brought back to life wasn't as refreshing as you might imagine. The sarcophagus only made you feel better and stronger when not all life had been sucked from you before. With small steps, she walked towards the water bucket and took a big gulp herself before carefully caring a cup over to him. She lifted it to his head, her finger accidentally stroking along his jaw. A sensation that sent waves through his body—good ones for once. While he took greedy sips, he looked at her closely—tired eyes in the so refreshed complexion. The sarcophagus let the body forget what happened, but not the soul.

"I'm sorry," she said suddenly, and first he didn't understand why. "I pushed you to take the Tok'Ra, and because of me Hammond sent us to P4X-765."

He had hoped to never think about Ba'al's torture again. Yet alone go through it another time. Most of all, he had hoped that no one he knew would ever have to suffer through this—above all, not Carter.

"If someone needs to be sorry, it's me," he said.

Her eyes softened, there was this look in them he had seen before. Back then, when he had killed her because the entity had possessed her. A look that said: it's not your fault. He allowed himself to get lost in her eyes. Feeling all the feelings he felt for her. A different kind of torture—one that he couldn't stand right now. Not when he knew that Ba'al did those things to her because he sensed that Carter wasn't just Carter for Jack.

Jack twisted his neck and flinched, "Carter, could you?" Motioning towards the strap around his neck.

"He's not gonna like it," she said.

"What's he gonna do? Kill me?" Jack answered, and it made her smile. Her jittery fingers reached for the clasp and opened it. Freedom—at least a bit of it.

"The things he does before are worse," she whispered all life gone from her voice.

"Carter…" he said without knowing how to continue. "We gonna get through this."

"Yeah, maybe. But what then?" Carter said, and he knew she was right. What then?

"I don't know where it is," he said to make her feel better. Or to make him feel better? He knew she wouldn't allow him to give in and give Ba'al what he wanted. But every time he refused, she would have to suffer. It was all up to him. And if she knew he didn't know, maybe she would hate him less for it.

"And even if you did, you can't tell him. He would destroy earth the second he found it," she said, looking at him with an intensity that made his stomach turn. She was so close he could smell her, feel her breath, see the wetness on her lips. It numbed his senses in a good way. No pain, not right now.

Just that moment, as if he had waited outside, the door open and Ba'al pranced in.

"Oh, am I interrupting?" Ba'al said smugly. Jack could hear how pleased Ba'al was to find them in this intimate situation. Just a confirmation that his plan was working out. Pleased that Sam Carter was the way to breaking Jack O'Neill. And he did a terrible job at hiding his satisfaction, "I can come back later, so you two…" he suggested.

Carter stumbled backward, but there was no escape. The Jaffa already grabbed her wrists and dragged her into the middle of the room. They tried to push her down, but Carter wouldn't be Carter if she'd go with it. She fought back and sent one Jaffa tumbling. From the corner of his eyes, Jack watched Ba'al watch Carter in delighted amusement. The way he looked at her as the other Jaffa wrangled her to the floor was frightening. Once the Jaffa she had stunned was back on his feet, he hit her hard with his staff weapon. Something Ba'al did not approve of. The Goa'Uld turned around, his eyes flared up, and with two steps he stormed towards his beefy subordinate and with a strength only Goa'Uld possessed grabbed him by the throat and lifted him, so his feet left dangled over the floor.

"No one touches her," Ba'al said with an uncontrolled voice.

Oh fuck, Jack thought. Ba'al had never lost his cool. And now he did over a Jaffa punching Carter.

Jack watched as Ba'al tightened his grip, the Jaffa gasped for air and then dropped dead to the floor. As if let loose by this event, Ba'al swirled around, ripped the torture stick out of the other Jaffa's hand and pressed it into Carter's side punishing her for his rage. She threw her head back, opened her mouth for the first scream Jack ever heard from her. A cry that resonated in Jack's body and made him feel part of the agony she felt.

"Stop it," Jack yelled. Never had he seen the torture stick being used for that long. But Ba'al didn't stop. He shoved it deeper into her muscles, causing another scream to leave her lips.

"Tell me where it is," he said with a fire flickering in his eyes as he darted them into Jack.

"I don't know."

"So be it," Ba'al said and moved the torture stick to her neck. The instant the stick touched her skin, she fell forward. Life leaving her body for the second time. Jack closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, Ba'al was right in front of him. Jack wanted to say something, but before he could even think of a comment, the torture stick dug into his stomach and sent him to the land of the dead. Maybe he would see Carter there, he thought.