Chapter 1 – Finding Lucifer

Chloe has made up her mind. If she is honest with herself, she was ready to accept the truth about Lucifer months, even years, ago.

She has to talk to Lucifer, find him, pin him down, question him before he can disappear on her, again! He's likely planning on vanishing. That much had become clear to her when he had flooded the church with this angelic music of his.

So, Chloe will not attend the get-together after Charlotte's funeral. She briefly squeezes Dan's arm while Trixie and Zoé assure her that they'll remain with Dan and support him, and that Trixie is going to stay at Zoé's overnight afterwards in case that dad needs his space.

Chloe smiles fondly at her daughter who seems to know them both so well, these days. Who is growing into an adult at an amazing speed - loving, caring and simply good.

Her daughter, who squeezes her hand and holds her heart. "Go find Lucifer, Mommy," Trixie whispers. "I know you want to. And you should. He's so afraid. You know that, don't you?" Trixie smiles genuinely at her. Her dark eyes twinkle with a bit of mischief, as if her slow-on-the-uptake mother amuses her to no end.

At her bewildered look, Trixie clarifies. "Lucifer's afraid that you're afraid. Of him, that is..." (the "duh" unspoken). The girl reaches up - she notes that she does not have to stretch that much these days, how fast is her little girl growing? - and pecks her on the cheek.

Trixie whispers into Chloe's ear, sharing a secret. "He's not a scary devil, mommy, he's a scared devil! Right?" She giggles at her own joke, "...and don't forget to give Lucifer my package, it's to honour my deal with him. Please? No, mum!" She releases an exasperated huff. "Don't look at me like that! It's completely harmless!" A deal with the Devil, harmless? "Ask Lucifer for our deal, he'll explain. And tell him that I adhered to everything that he's told me to do." For a brief moment, her girl's face becomes solemn and pensive.

Then her dark eyes start to twinkle, she brightens up again and thrusts a box wrapped in a devil-emoji decorated napkins into Chloe's outstretched hands – or rather, into her puzzled face - what deal with the Devil, monkey? – and off she hops, her springy steps careless, full of brimming energy, a young teen in the making.

Chloe weights the box in her hands. It is not heavy. Another reason to find Lucifer. She thinks she does not need one, but her daughter knows better.

She needs a catalyst. Obviously.

Now Chloe has a delivery to make, her Devil to find and a new reality to face.

The list of questions rustles in her pocket as Chloe enters her car and starts the engine. Question No. #1 on that list being "why me" and all that the question encompasses. But there are much, much more questions, her list of questions to ask Lucifer, Decker-style, is as long as her notepad grew when he'd given her a list of his lovers.

Her very unique way to work through stuff, she thinks: to cling to systematic thinking, analysing, after all logic and reason has exploded into her face. Chloe chuckles at the irony.

She joins the highway that leads to the beach. Their beach.

Chloe guesses she inherited the "systematic thinking thingy" from her dad; the go-for-it bravado from her mum. The ingredients that make her a good cop, that urge her forward, now.

Dad... Chloe's heart clenches. She may actually see him again, in Heaven... because it actually exists! If she's going there. Lucifer seemed convinced of it, as he'd told her, after Charlotte's death. Why was he convinced that she would end up in heaven? She has killed in the line of duty, has killed Malcolm... Isn't that a deadly sin?

Only it doesn't feel like one. So, what divine entity determines who is going down and who is going up – was it Him? God? Or one of his many, according to Lucifer's words, siblings? Or... Jesus...? Had he been a real person? Had Lucifer known him...? Question #26 on her list. How many siblings does Lucifer have, anyway...? Question #23.

Neither the internet nor the Bible have been very precise on the whole "what are Angels like", "what can they do", "what do they look like" and "how many Angels are there" topic.

Systematic thinking. Which she has done to no end for the last three days, feverishly, head spinning, taking notes, revisiting her very own notes from the beginning of her work with Lucifer; systematically going through all of their cases, wondering how much divine or devilish ingredients they held.

Researching about Christian myths and lore. Shaking her head at all the "thy shalt and shalt nots" and "praise the Lord" archaics, wondering how much of what was written there was (old) man-made, and how much of it was actually... Lucifer's Dad, now that she knew He actually exists.

A long, analytical review of all the situations, funny words, observations and things that Lucifer the Morningstar, crazy club owner, playboy extraordinaire, about as mature as a 12-year old and by the way Satan himself, had said and done since she knew him.

The analysing has given her considerably more clarity. For one, he obviously never lied to her. For another,

However, with each item resolved, Chloe's long, fat list of questions to ask Lucifer grows and grows. Mysterious puzzles, facts contradicting each other, or missing pieces of her new, raw and suddenly divine reality.

Chloe grips the steering wheel harder. She hates it that this new-found reality is paralyzing her, condemning her to a passive, enduring role - just because she does not know this new reality's rules, settings, framework and destiny. So, she's going to change that!

There is only one way forward. Which means overriding her insecurities around Lucifer, her friend she has fallen for – the actual Devil - and, most likely, also to overcome his. "Not a scary devil, a scared devil" Trixie's voice sings in hear ear.

Chloe clenches her jaw tightly, her car swerving now into the smaller lane that heads out of the city, towards the coastline.

To find Lucifer, the real him. To get answers. Finally.

She feels that she has to hurry before it's too late, before Lucifer runs and, likely, never returns. Her heart starts to race at the mere thought of losing him for good. She does not want to examine why the thought nearly kills her.

Chloe can feel the little chain with the bullet radiating warmth over her fast beating heart.

The sun sets and the last golden autumnal rays gloss the yellow sand.

Silver cobwebs glitz in the dry marine grasses, swaying gently in the mild ocean breeze. Chloe inhales deeply. She enjoys the taste of salty air on her tongue, filling her lungs. She always has. It calms her. Even after her father's death...

Lucifer's Corvette is not at the parking place, nor does she find another fancy vintage car with an "LM" or "Fall1n1" on its plate. Nevertheless, Chloe knows where she can find him. Could he have flown here? Now that she knows that her best friend, the Devil, has wings...? Question No. #6 on her Special List of Questions to ask the Devil.

Chloe follows the narrow wooden-plank trail through the sand, up from the parking lot over the rising dunes down to the beach, their beach. It lays there, golden, glossed by the setting sun.

To her right, Chloe passes a group of rowdy teens (young adults?) who occupy a public fireplace. All male, it seems, which she finds unusual. They may be drinking alcohol and smoking something stronger than joints in the public - should she intervene? Whatever they are drinking or doing is quickly hidden as Chloe passes their campsite.

Chloe decides against it. She's not on duty and has a more pressing mission, so she keeps her badge hidden.

A lone seagull screeches as she passes the highest point of the path over the dunes. The sound of the crushing ocean waves holds something eternal, soothing her nerves temporarily. She closes her eyes briefly and inhales, drawing in courage.

Halfway down the dunes, a smaller sandy trail begins. She takes off her boots and enjoys how her bare toes dig into the still-warm sand.

She senses Lucifer's presence before she discovers him. It astonishes her that she does, but she no longer questions her gut feelings when it comes to her unusual partner. Lucifer Morningstar, the Devil. Fallen Angel.

Whatever.

She grits her teeth, determined and walks on. She's going to find out and change her own worldview forever in the process.

Chloe recognizes Lucifer's tall, dark silhouette set against the glowing evening sky in a heartbeat, although there is still a quarter of a mile between them. She thinks for a second that she sees the shadow of his wings framing his dark, elegant silhouette from behind. Somehow.

Maybe she's starting to see things. She needs more sleep and a less spinning mind, if you please. Her heart beats faster as she moves towards him.

Lucifer leans against a large boulder at the foot of the dunes, shoulders tensed, taking a long drag from his cigarette. Chloe sees the red dot glow. It reminds her of his hellish eyes and... she remembers his soft lips on hers, now holding the cigarette. Why on earth does she think about his lips? Pull yourself together, Decker!

Does the Devil get ill, ever? Can he intoxicate himself with alcohol or smoking or... other... poisons? She remembers that he once survived poisonous gas. And, oh well, his liver usually seems to be a bottomless pit, effortlessly breaking down boatloads of narcotic or alcoholic molecules of each variety humankind has ever invented.

But, there was more, once….

She recalls his "homeless magician" breakdown, when he had tried so hard to get drunk, and then to even get shot; where he appeared drunk from grief and brimming with the desire to be punished himself. The Devil, of all… beings.

Never letting her in, never explaining himself to her!

However hard Chloe tries to be there for him. She had felt so hurt and rejected when he'd stated bluntly that she "has never understood and never will", after they had arrested the shooter who was grieving for his dead wife Cassandra.

Now that she knows, she has to seize the chance and understand, she has to! And seize him. Who happens to be Satan, actually. But he's also Lucifer, her weird partner who nicks Monopoly figures and lets her daughter paint his cheek. With an unicorn, of all things! And who nicks Dan's pudding. She needs to find him to be able to recognize him. Finally.

And then, there's the whole strange vulnerability thing which may be a little bit more literal than Chloe had thought. Question no. #7 on her list.

Chloe feels spinning, light-headed, somehow detached from her body as she nearly jogs through the sand towards Lucifer's lone figure.

She remembers their last time on the beach, bathed in evening light. When she had thought that they could become more than "just friends"...

And then, just after she nearly died, he has fled to Vegas and broken her heart so thoroughly that she thought she'll never recover. Now, she actually has a – still very vague – idea of why he might have had done it. Question #5 on her list.

Coming closer, she can now see him properly. Some of his dark hair has escaped the ever-taming discipline of his hair products, curling across his forehead. She likes it, she really does. Her fingers itch to touch his curls, to sneak around his nape, to frame his face, to feel his stubble under her fingertips. Down, girl. You came for answers. And he's actually the Devil, what are you thinking?

Lucifer is deep in thought, or so it seems. She takes in his lean elegant frame against the glowing sky, his strong, masculine jawline and nose, his shadowy stubble and dark hair.

She feels this stupid singing joy inside her heart when she looks at him – has it always been like this?

Is it because he's just beautiful, or because he's an Angel? Or is it all part of an elaborate temptation scheme, because he's the Devil? So she'll be damned for feeling... friendship... for... the Devil? She's done a lot of thinking and she's practically certain that all the bullshit of collecting souls or tempting people into sin is just that - vilifying bullshit!

Or is it just – him and me, no divine strings attached...?

Chloe wets her lips, nervousness suddenly overwhelming her. She keeps her fidgeting hands steady by clutching the box Trix had given her and carefully steps forwards.