A/N: *EDIT*

No reviews for this chapter, eh?

Ouch...that makes me sad...

Had to delete another onslaught of hate-filled reviews this morning. That's depressing. I won't repeat those foul words here, but some of those curses and threats were rather inventive. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't getting me,

But onto other matters.

Guess who saw Hobbs & Shaw? This guy. Laughed so damn hard.

Gasp?!

Another update?! How can this be?! Has the world come to an end? I DID say I was going to update everything. Master and Alter Ego are next, I'm trying to crank out one update a day at the very least; doing that triple update a few days ago burned me out so badly that I slept for a good 24 hours. So, no more of those for awhile. Expect the usual double or single updates in the interim. And since BOTH my jobs just had someone quit, that means I have to work even harder. Of course. As if I don't do enough of that already

*sighs*

Anyway, I'm off to work another double. Looking forward to your reviews when I get back.

Here. Another update. Out of spite for the trolls. Enjoy it. Have at ye.

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it.

References are glorious and I own nothing~!

Emotional scene coming up, so brace!

Serenity, as ever, is adorable.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in a pretty and well-preserved body.

But rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming...WOW what a ride."

~Mark Frost.

The Best Laid Plans (Interlude)

"What is our first move, Master?"

Naruto fought down a small sigh as Serenity leaned against his right side, her bright-and now very much full of life-turquoise orbs regarding the map sprawled out on the table before them. Illuminated by a solitary candle, its shadows seemed to writhe and dance in the fading light. It was the most recent outline of the city he'd been able to scrounge up. Atop it, he'd scattered several sheafs of paper and two handfuls of pictures besides. Her keen gaze regarded them all with a quiet intensity; a focus that hadn't been there before when they'd first met. She likely wasn't aware of what she was doing in the first place.

"Look," he coughed, trying to focus on the matter at hand. "Do you have to cling onto me like that?"

Assassin flinched slightly. "Do you...not want me to?"

Naruto sighed. "Nevermind. Do as you please."

She beamed back at him, but her grip became slightly less crushing by comparison. At least, he supposed it did. His body was still quite numb from Kaguya's insidious curse, but at least his limbs responded now when he attempted to arrange the papers he'd sprawled around the map. More important were the photographs and the red strings bound to each. As of thus, only one was blotted out.

Serenity's head tilted. "Are those the Masters in this war?"

His opinion of her climbed again. "They are."

He almost...pitied Assassin.

As someone who had been all but starved of physical touch for most of her known life, she had taken to this fresh stimuli readily. Rather, she wanted to be touched. There wasn't even anything lustful about it; she simply touched him at odd intervals or simply held his hand. As if to make certain he was still there. The pity intensified. He'd thought himself broken, so utterly shattered as to be beyond repair. But Serentiy was worse. Though she might not be under a curse, her inability to touch others was loathed as much as his own failings.

"Mmn!" she jolted slightly as he shifted his weight against her to further regard the map.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Did that tickle?"

"N-No, its not that." Serenity hummed as her body squirmed against his, fingers wrapping around his own. "I haven't really gotten used to being touched yet," she pulled those same fingers to her cheek, quietly marveling at them as if they were made of fine china. Was she actually cuddling them? "It seems like it made me a little bit sensitive." that settled it, she was definitely nuzzling his hand now. Almost fondling it really, well, inasmuch as one could without being outright lewd. The serene smile blooming across her face only made it all the more endearing. "This is...a really nice feeling."

Too cute! Too good! Too puuure~!

Something stirred in the rotten husk Naruto called a heart.

She looked as though he'd given her the greatest gift in the world.

For a second he almost felt...something. A faint buzzing sensation in his fingers.

"Marry me." the words tumbled out before he could think to hold them back. Thankfully he'd whispered them, rather than shout, else he would've had some explaining to do.

"Master?"

"Ahem!" Naruto coughed harshly into a fist before she could ask him to repeat himself. "Its nothing."

Serenity smiled.

...as you say, my Master."

He failed to notice that small, secret smile.

Naruto took a deep breath to steady himself, to anchor his thoughts in his surroundings. Right. Purpose. He'd brought her here for a reason. This bunker-one of several prepared before he'd succumbed to sloth-served well enough as a bolthole in an emergency, but now he'd revamped it for the purpose of strategy. If anyone without his express chakra signature tried to enter, they'd be subject to a vicious explosion. Whether said blast would be enough to take down a Servant was in question, but anyone short of a Heroic Spirit was going to suffer a nasty surprise.

"Right, then." he gestured to the dable, capturing her attention once more. "Lets get down to business. The men-and woman-you see here are our enemies. Do you understand?"

A nod.

With that said, he leaped into the thick of things.

"Caster hasn't been summoned yet," he tapped a finger against the lone blank photograph, "So I have next to no intel on him or his Master. Nor do I have any information on the other Servants. Their Masters, well." here he permitted himself a grim smile. "That's another story."

Serenity blinked.

"Why does Caster matter?"

Naruto muttered something like a curse.

"Because I can't predict what a Caster might do."

Thus speaking, he shifted the photos beneath them as she released his hand.

"I killed a man known as Kayneth, who might've been Lancer's master," he tapped a grim picture crossed out with red ink, "But his fiance escaped. We can expect her to summon in his place and seek revenge. Thankfully, Sola-Ui isn't all that strong, so she should pose little threat to you."

"Hai." she chirruped.

A hand flitted to the next picture.

"Now we have Tohsaka Tokiomi." calloused fingers glided over the photo of a man in an impeccable red suite. "He may look like a ponce, but he can fight like a devil when pressed to it. His main magecraft appears to be fire. He'll like summon Archer or Caster. Likely the former. Are you with me so far?"

Serenity nodded silently, her gaze never once leaving the table. She was absorbing his instruction like a diligent student.

Well, well, well. Chalk up another point for her. She'd proven herself a quick study with remarkable gusto.

Naruto stepped back and let her wriggle her way into his arms, back against his chest.

Another shuffle and Serenity found herself gazing at a gaunt, pale-haired man clad in a worn blue hoodie and jeans.

"Next comes Matou Kariya." scarred fingers idly tapped the picture's reflective surface, guiding her fingers alongside. "Like me, he's a bit of a latecomer to the War and somewhat unstable. Unlike me, he was definitely aiming for a Berserker Servant the last time I checked. He's likely summoned one by now and should be treated with caution." Seamlessly shuffled this photo next to that of Tokiomi. "There's some bad blood there between him and Tohsaka, though I'm still investigating. We could use that."

"What kind of bad blood?" she asked.

Grudges were a dangerous thing indeed, she'd seen this.

But something in the way he'd said that concerned her. He sounded...angry.

Naruto grimaced. "Something involving a daughter. Something I might have to deal with. Personally."

Yet another photo flitted by and landed within Serenity's grasp, revealing a young man's face to her curious eyes.

"This is Waver Velvet. A rookie by all accounts from what my clones were able to gather." Serenity thought she saw her Master smile in her peripheral vision, but she couldn't be sure. "Ideally he should be an easy target. His Servant will not. Riders are often the most unpredictable of the bunch. Whatever he summoned took out my clones before they could so much as catch a glimpse of it."

His fingers danced and the papers moved anew.

"Here we have Kotomine Kirei." she found herself gazing at a dour young man in priestly garb. "He's supporting Tokiomi in the war, but for what purpose, I don't know. He has Command Spells, but I don't know what he'll summon. For some reason I have a bad feeling about him. Remember his face."

A palm flitted into another photo as she committed it to memory.

"And finally we come to Emiya Kiritsugu. Also known as the Magus Killer." his voice turned cold, prompting Serenity to look up. "We'll deal with him last. He will undoubtedly summon a Saber in this war. I know that for a fact. He even managed to dispel the two clones I sent to spy on him; so he knows he's being watched."

His message delivered, Naruto leaned back from the table and looked her square in the eye.

"Now," he finished, "What do these six Masters have in common?"

He was testing her, she realized. Waiting for an answer.

It dawned on her all at once, but she hesitated.

"I won't punish you for a wrong answer." Naruto clicked his tongue in mild admonishment. "We're on the same side, remember?"

"They aren't allied with one another." realization broke like the morning light.

He smiled, then. An actual smile.

"Precisely. So here's what we're going to do." her Master spoke slowly and deliberately as he outlined his plan to her. "None of these mages are allied. Mages do not trust one another; we're going to play off that fear and turn them against one another until their snapping at each other's heels. Perhaps even steal their Servants if possible." he cast a gaze to his marked hand. "We could always use more firepower."

Serenity stiffened. "Steal...?"

His hand mussed her hair fondly. "Don't worry. No one's going to replace you."

The small Assassin released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding all this time.

"Should that fall through, well, that's where you come in. As I can't seem to bloody well die, I'll act as bait to draw the enemy Servants out into the opening. You mentioned you were able to disguise yourself?" at her nod, he clapped his hands. "Good. You'll be targeting the masters."

Serenity felt her face darken.

"I'm sorry, I wish I were stronger-

His hand snapped out, fingers alighting under her chin.

"Don't be sorry." A grim growl rumbled in her ears, drawing a flush to her cheeks. "Its better this way. After all, you said yourself that you aren't suited to front-line combat. That's not your fault."

Still, the silent shame hounded Serenity. She understood her role in this; even if it wasn't one she necessarily liked. It was her duty to obey; to act as the silent blade and strike where her Master could not. Though she did not enjoy the act of killing, she understood the necessity of it. She could touch her Master and be touched in return. The same likely didn't apply to the other Servants and their respective Masters. Violence was merely a means to an end to preserve her own happiness. With that in mind, she steeled her resolve and bowed low.

"I will die for you, if need be."

His expression grew tense.

"No."

Serenity faltered. "No...?"

"Life is not a journey to the grave, Serenity." Naruto informed her primly. "We are going to win this. Do you hear me? Don't throw your life away. Stay alive." Something crystallized in his expression. As a matter of fact."

His hand rose, and a lone Command Spell puled against his palm.

"I ORDER you to survive."

Serenity couldn't help but shudder as the Command took hold; scarlet sparks spat across her body and bound it to his will. She wanted to protest, to tell him that she would be happy to die for him, that her life had nearly no value to her, none at all...but she held her tongue. To waste one of his three marks on such an order, to place such value on her own well-being...it baffled her.

"But, why...?"

"Its too late for me." Blue eyes crinkled in a weary smile. "The things I've seen, the lives I've taken...I can't go back. But you can."

Her spine stiffened. "No. I don't want to go back." she said. "I want to stay here. With you."

"Are you sure?" he asked. You might regret that choice, come the end."

Naruto blew out a sigh.

"Every single Servant and Master we encounter in this war is an enemy unless I say otherwise." by contrast to his earlier remark, these words were cold and biting. "I want you to do whatever it takes to survive, but in the same vein, I'd appreciate if you didn't hesitate against our enemies. So. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy." a flicker of warmth shone through his icy facade. "But by the log be careful out there, alright?"

Was this what it meant to care for someone?

Serenity wondered about that.

Surely it must be.

For an Assassin, she was remarkably pure of heart. It didn't take much to earn her loyalty; on the contrary, it was quite easy to earn. Though weak, she was one of the kindest Servants to exist. When she loved she did so unconditionally, without reserve or preservation. If you were good to here, then she would be good to you.

Simple, no?

In the brief time that they'd known one another, her Master had willingly opened both his arms and his home to her. Her poison meant nothing to him. She could touch him as she wanted and he made no attempt to push her away. It...meant more to her than words. Now he'd outright forbidden her to die on the battlefield. If he hadn't had her loyalty before-and he did!-then that speech secured it. She would stand with him. Through blood and darkness and death, even if it made her a monster in the eyes of her fellow assassins, she would stand with him. Even if...even if another tried to take him from her. She wouldn't mind.

Because she was the first to see the truth.

She knew that he valued her above any who might follow.

Thus, she granted him a tentative nod. "I will follow your lead."

Naruto hummed in agreement. "That's all I ask. Now, its your turn."

The petite Assassin blinked. "My turn? I'm afraid I don't understand you, Master."

He took her confusion in stride. "Let me phrase it this way. Who do you think we should attack first?"

Serenity considered that, not as herself, but as an Assassin should. Who was the greatest threat? Who was not? In terms of power, Saber was the single greatest adversary. And yet Naruto had adamantly stated that they were going to avoid Kiritsugu for least. So who, then? Moreover, who needed to be eliminated first? Had that been the intent of his inquiry? Or was he merely testing her further? Her head buzzed with countless questions, yet she gave voice to none of them.

His grin grew. It was not a pleasant smile, but she didn't mind as he laid a hand on her head. The madness was not directed at her.

In the end, she voiced her opinion. Remarkably, it was the right one.

"Correct!" he preened happily. "That's our target."

His smile only widened.

"Berserker."

A/N: Hope you liked it~!

Ahhhhh, references, references for miles.

This Naruto may not be a good person, but he's far from stupid. He's a thinker, the sort to turn enemies against one another while reaping the rewards. But if he realizes what the Grail in this war is, what it will do...will he use it? I wonder about that. If you knew a world would burn to save yours, would you still make that wish?

Faker!Naruto just might. Or he might not. Only time will tell.

Some of the lines came from the video "Serenity Wants to be Felt" on youtube. Its a pure little piece of fluff, and a voiced comic at that. Give it a look.

I don't own jaaaaaack, I'm just a penniless author.

As ever, this will be gone in two days if folks don't like it.

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the previews.

Oh, and a warning...!

A SERVANT FALLS.

(Previews!)

When she approached, he didn't move. Didn't turn away.

She kissed him softly, tenderly, haltingly.

"Please be safe...my Master."

"Stand in the ashes of a thousand dead souls and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer."

"For too long I have suffered. I will have my wish. This curse will end!"

"Even if this world has to die for it?!"

"SHUT UP!"

"HOW DARE YOU~?!"

It was like watching a hurricane.

An unstoppable force met an immovable object.

One descended on the other with a shriek and then there was only motion.

Faker and Berserker collided in a ceaseless storm of blows; their bodies writhing and twisting like shadow and flame. Neither gained the advantage over the other. One was stronger; the other, faster. Their skills put them at a stalemate, and oh god, the sounds coming from them as they fought. Whomever this woman was, she was wholly, utterly furious with Naruto. Still, his curse allowed him to fight on in spite of his grievous wound and fight he did, enduring wound after wound until ohmyhehadjustsentherflying...

No. It wasn't her place to watch this. Duty called.

Silently, she slipped way to find the enemy Master in the dark.

He would never see her coming, so she swore on her pride as an Assassin...

Saber raised their blade. "Surrender, fiend."

All at once, the laughter stopped.

...no. Don't think I will."

Serenity made a face.

"No. He is my lord. My master. My everything. I will not abandon him."

Caster sniffed.

"I wish to propose a truce."

"Why?" Naruto shot back in an instant counter.

She frowned. "My master offends me. You are more...pragmatic."

R&R~! =D