A/N: EDIT: Reviews aren't showing up for ANYONE on the site since last night. They appear in our inboxes, but not on the site proper itself. Hopefully the site can fix this soon; until then, none of us can reply to them.

Yes, this is short, and I'm sorry for that.

Not my usual style, trying a more visceral style for this chapter.

Because, contrary to popular belief, I'm actively working on other stories~!

DOUBLE EDIT: Oh, lovely. Now the trolls/flamers are actively saying they want to murder me. I'm gonna report that shit. Also. How. The hell. Do I keep rolling! A Certain Very Angry Berserker! Seriously, Penthesilea! Stop spooking me! I'll update your story, alright! No more spooks! In other news, I've been gearing up update everything. Aye. Everything. Die Another Day, A Most Unlikely Berserker, A Boy's Journey, those three are set to be updated soon as well.

Imperfection...is a bit of a hot mess that I honestly need to rewrite.

*grins*

WARNING!

Are you prepared shenanigans?

Are you prepared to suspend your disbelief?

Wait, what? You actually are? You expect them at this point? Well, alright then. Off we go!

"I am not a good person. Nor am I a bad person. I simply am. Learn from my lesson, Berserker.

Its too late for me to change. But you? There's a chance. Be better than me."

~Ruler.

A Most Unlikely Brawl

Release was at hand.

Penthesilea knew it in her heart of hearts; with every step that carried her toward the still-distant church. They hadn't even reached the town proper yet and already her blood had begun to sing. The cool night air was a boon against her super-heated skin, lending a swagger to her every step. She didn't even deign to conceal her anticipation as she trailed after Ruler. Her gauntlets ached for action. She longed to materialize her flail and bring it crashing down upon the cathedral's spire, to hear him scream as she tore flesh from bone!

Because he was here.

Berserker could sense him -as he could no doubt sense her!- among the Servants lurking in the building ahead. There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. For better or worse his Master hadn't let the coward flee. Good. There would be no escape for him. Not this time. If it weren't for the Command Spells binding her, she would've bolted already. Even now she felt them snapping and fraying around her body. She knew they would break the moment she saw him. Nothing could stop her. She would not be denied.

Weapons bared, body clad in her signature, armor, Penthesilea stormed toward her destiny.

"Achilles." the word escaped her in a low growl, steam wafting between her teeth. "I'll kill him. Kill, kill...KILL...!"

"Remember," Naruto's voice briefly plucked her from the maddened sea of her insanity, "You have to fight smart tonight. Or you'll die."

She ignored him, all thoughts of strategy forgotten as they pushed through another abandoned alley. What need had she of strategy? Her fury would be more than-

Tan fingers flicked her forehead with explosive force, bringing the tiny Berserker up short before the madness could subsume her fully once again. There was a joke to be had there somewhere, but she wasn't in the mood to have at it this time. It didn't so much sting as it did startle her and she found herself forced to bring brought both hands around when her minder tried again.

She glowered up at him and massaged the mark he'd left there. "What was that for?"

"For not listening." Whiskered cheeks pinched in a scowl as he sauntered past her. "Don't act like a mad dog, Penth. That's not you."

She grit her teeth and stormed after him. "Then you don't know me very well. What he did to me. What I lost...!

"Wrong again, your majesty."

Try as she might, Berserker didn't understand why Ruler insisted on treating her like this. Or approaching their destination in anything less than astral form. Why do this? Why drag things out? Why take in the scenery? It was night. There was no scenery, nor were there any people about. What need have she of the full moon or any such frippery? It only served to further heighten her anticipation. Meeting the Red Faction was going to be a torrid affair at worse, an outright disaster at best, but she didn't care. So long as she had her revenge. The lie tasted like ashes in her mouth.

What good was strength if it didn't prevail?

She wanted to believe she was strong; that she could slay HIM through strength of arms and nothing more. And yet Naruto's words clung to her like vines, tripping her up. He'd said himself that he didn't relish the idea of facing someone like Achilles in a fair fight. Just the thought made her blood boil and she had to forcibly tamp down on her rage. What hope did she have as she was now? She loathed the idea of asking, and yet...

"I've thought on what you said yesterday," her own admission startled her. "Tonight...if I fail...if I survive...I'll need to be stronger."

Naruto looked down at her as they walked. "And?"

Berserker squirmed. "I need my true body."

His jaw clicked open. "Well. I expected...things...but not that."

"Can you do it or not, Ruler?!" she balled her fists at her sides, cheeks turning pink.

"Sure, I guess." he shrugged. "I mean, the Grail lets me make alterations to those who are willing, but are you sure about this? You probably wouldn't be a Berserker anymore."

"If tonight fails, then-HEY!" Naruto flicked her forehead again and she yelped, drawn from her destructive thoughts once more. "I...you...that's cheating! I was unprepared!"

Flickering blue eyes rimmed with violet twinkle back at her. "Shi~no~bi~! Or have you forgotten. That's what you get for doubting yourself!"

Incredulous, she gaped up at him.

And then:

"AAAARGH!"

She flailed at him like an angry kitten, to no avail. Because the blond bastard -the absolute scoundrel!- simply held her back with an outstretched hand against her forehead. Short as she was, Penth knew she couldn't hope reach him; not without actively utilizing her weapons. Blast this body. She loathed limiting herself like this sometimes. Ruler wouldn't be so cavalier with her if she were in her true form! But that didn't matter. She would endure as she always had. So long as she killed HIM any indignity she suffered was more than worth it...if he just kept his mouth shut.

"Don't be sad, short-stack." pearly white teeth gleamed at her. "We all have our...shortcomings."

By Olympus, those puns were too painful to ignore!

"Ruler."

Naruto tilted his head. "Hmm?"

Baleful red eyes bored into his. "I am going to count to three. If your hand is still upon me by then...the hand comes off."

"Think you can reach me?" his lips quirked.

In hindsight, the Berserker knew Ruler was acting the fool; doing this on purpose; he was trying to distract her from her own destructive impulses and darker thoughts. Penthesilea knew this. He'd never tease her like this unless he had a good reason for it. Fine. He wanted to be the focus of her ire, did he? She'd play his game. For now. Until she found him.

The queen lowered her head. "One."

Naruto frowned. "What's wrong? Short fuse?"

"Two."

His smile grew. "Bit of a short timer there, eh?" his elbow poked her ribs. "Eh? Eh?"

Her head snapped up.

"Three!"

She wasn't at all prepared for that arm to fall away abruptly and sweep her behind its owner.

"Halt, fiend!" a new voice cried.

This close to the church, the last thing the amazoness had expected was to be challenged by another Servant, but challenged they were.

At a glance, one could say Lancer- for with a weapon like that the newcomer couldn't be anything else- was intimidating to a fault. They almost resembled a dragon standing astride their great warhorse. Were it not for the cold yellow eyes regarding them within that helm, Penthesilea might well have dismissed them as a mere beast astride another. But that ugly lance looming in their hand was anything but beastly. Just the sight of it made something in her soul shudder.

Said Servant thrust it at them as her steed cantered to a halt some yards away.

Ruler -Naruto, she reminded herself- barely batted an eyelash.

"You must be Lancer of Black." he sketched a humble bow. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Penthesilea nearly burst into flames on the spot. He wasn't doing this. She wasn't doing this. They were not doing this. Who was this warrior to interrupt them?! A Servant seeking an alliance? Some stray perhaps? She did not know, nor did she care. She simply wanted them gone from her sight. If they wouldn't begone, she'd put them in the ground.

"I have come to cut you down and put an end to this farce."

She got her wish.

Penthesilea and Naruto exchanged a bemused look, for once in complete agreement on something. At a wordless glance, the unlikely pair parted. Ruler sauntered to the left, Berserker stalked right. Their paths ran parallel to one another, slow strides carrying them with

"Well, you're honest at least." Ruler blew out a bemused breath and summoned a staff to his right hand. "Don't do this, Storm King. You'll die."

Storm King? The title sounded almost familiar, but she couldn't place it. Bah. Probably not important. She wanted violence. Now.

...my apologies." that dark lance rose. "But for the sake of the Black Faction, you must fall here today, Ruler."

"Ho?" Penthesilea paused and cocked her hips with a scowl. "You're ignoring me? Bold of you."

That helmet inclined a fraction of an inch. "I have no interest in a child."

And she needed no further provocation to summon her flail; the comforting weight of the spiked ball and chain smacked into Penthesilea's grasp like an old friend. One she began to swing in slow, lazy circles over her shoulder, uncaring for the way her soon-to-be-victim startled at the sight. And if the Queen of the Amazons brandished it with a smile...well. Anyone watching was a liar. It wasn't as if she enjoyed this. No. She took absolutely no pleasure in the thought of beating this uppity creature to death. She'd let Ruler have his words, but by the gods she would stove Lancer's head in if they took another step forward.

"Is that your Master's command, or your own?" Naruto challenged, raising his own weapon in a familiar stance Penthesilea recognized all too well.

"Mine." those golden orbs narrowed within the slit. "You are a threat that must be eradicated. Nothing more."

"And this has nothing to do with Celenike being your master." the whiskered warrior arched an eyebrow. "Nothing at all?"

Lancer flinched. "How did you-

"Ruler, remember?" a rimmed eye regarded her as the circle grew smaller. "I know full well who you are; and how to break that precious armor of yours. What is it with Lancers and making foolish decision? Is that a class thing? No?" He tilted his head. "Must be an honor thing. Never much understood the concept myself. Honor doesn't win battles, and it certainly doesn't win wars."

"Must be her Master's...tendencies or somesuch." Penthesilea narrowly caught herself and corrected for the slip when the armored knight glowered at her.

Too close. She'd nearly said that word.

"She is a beautiful woman, I will admit that." Lancer scoffed, heedless of what she'd just said. "But that has no bearing on my actions here tonight. You have no place here against me, Berserker." once more that black slit turned to regard her. "This is not your fight. My quarrel lies with Ruler, not you."

The rest of her words droned off into static.

Beautiful.

Penthesilea went horribly still all at once. Her flail crashed to the ground at her feet like so much dead weight. Slim shoulders slumped. Pale eyes turned a baleful red as a low, shuddering snarl fled from her lips. Distantly, she became aware of Ruler's rapidly retreating presence behind her, but only just. How dare she. How dare she. How dare dare daredareDARE!

"Well, would you look at that." Naruto groaned. "You just pushed the "B" button. Nice knowing you."

Lancer's helmeted head shifted. "I'm sorry, the wha-gack?!"

"YOU SHOULDNT'A DONE THAT."

Penthesilea let her flail fly with meteoric speed and smashed the startled Servant dead in their helmeted head. Caught flatfooted by the sudden assault as much as the ferocity behind it, the impact ripped Lancer from their steed and sent them tumbling across the street, their body dragging a deep furrow in the earth.

Horses were good for charges and mowing down cavalry. They also made excellent targets. Bereft of its rider, the servant's mount all but whinnied in distress and turned to support its master. It never made it. Penthesilea tore through it in a blazing blur and barreled after the tumbling Servant with a wordless scream.

For his part, Naruto tapped his staff against the street and resigned himself to try and prevent the massacre that followed. Didn't mean he was above a bit of humiliation, however.

Lancer had only just begun to rise when Berserker pounced upon them, took hold of their head and rammed it to the cobblestones once more. Once. Twice. Thrice. On the fourth the armored servant finally managed to get their weapon up between them and defend themselves with it; a weapon whose tip the unholy little terror somehow caught with her teeth. Her teeth! Who did that?! This one, apparently! In the knight's brief moment of shock a pair of clawed gauntlets latched onto the lance's haft and ripped it out of their grasp.

Those very same gauntlets descended mercilessly on their armor.

"ACHILLES! Die! Die! Die!"

"I'm telling you, that isn't...oh, what the hell." Naruto settled in to wait as the beatdown continued. "She isn't listening."

Slamming and spitting, hacking and slashing, Penthesilea attacked with a singular fury that belied her size; an assault that brooked no counterattack. Fearless ferocity and insanity lent her strength she might not otherwise have had and she used it to absolutely eviscerate the Servant beneath her. Oh. That looked rather painful. She wasn't letting up. At this rate, Lancer's armor wasn't going to hold-

Naruto winced as he heard a loud crack.

A sonorous clang echoed through the empty street as still more of the servant's armor and helmet shattered beneath Berserker's blistering blows; revealed was a bountiful beauty bound behind vicious dark-indigo armor, golden-flecked eyes wide with anger and shame. T'was was a woman! Of course, he'd already known that, thanks to the Grail. Penthesilea did not. Surprise slowed the small Berserker, he could see it in the twitch of her shoulders, the way she hesitated. Just a fraction. A hair.

It was enough for Lancer to lift her legs and kick.

"GET! OFF!"

At such close proximity, Penth barely glimpsed the attack; but Naruto saw everything that followed. Twin boots cannoned into her chest and launched her backward into Ruler; she would've bounded right off him too, if he hadn't grabbed her by the hair. Even then she railed against his grip, flinging about in his grasp.

"Don't stop me!" she raged furiously, thrashing at him. "I'll kill her!

"I think her pride died a long time ago...

"You fiends!" Lancer staggered upright as clutched at herself, struggling to preserve some semblance of her modesty. "Have you no shame?! Have you no honor?! Look what you did!"

"No. None."Naruto didn't even deign to frown as he raised his right hand. "Back to your Master, missy. Now. Pull something like this again and we'll kill you."

At that, the Altered Lancer actually growled at him. "Uncouth craven! Don't you DARE use one of those on me...!"

All the air around the angry woman shimmered, words-and a Command Spell-doing what strength could not. Lancer of Black didn't fade. She simply vanished as Ruler exerted his command upon her. One moment she had retrieved her lance, drawn it back to strike. In the next, she turned to golden dust and shot back over the horizon.

Penthesilea guffawed in a rare loss of control at the sight, one hand flying to her mouth. "You did not just do that. That was my kill!"

Naruto flashed her a cheeky grin as one of the many markings wrapped around his arm began to fade. It seemed frivolous to waste such a thing. She wanted to kiss him for it. If he hadn't banished Lancer of Black back to her Master just now, she would have fought them further. That would have spooked the masters, and by definition, Achilles.

"No, it wasn't." he retorted. "There was no need to fight her. This way we can continued relatively unhindered...for now."

"Um...about that." a strangely familiar voice offered from the direction of the church. "Maybe you two should leave."

A faint scuffing sound behind her claimed her attention. Without thinking she rounded on the sound at once.

To his credit, Naruto didn't try to stop Penthesilea. He knew better than that. They had come to an accord and in a surprising show of maturity, he honored that agreement here and now. His hand released her shoulder as she completed her revolution, dreading -knowing!- what she would find there. That face. That hair. That cocksure smile, now narrowed in recognition and disbelief. His mouth opened and words emerged, but she could not hear them, could not decipher that which followed, because she...saw...him. Him. Him. HIM!

"Ah." Somehow, she heard Ruler speak. "Rider of Red. Good to meet you. I'd advise running. Now."

"Wait, why would I run...oh." Comprehension dawned on that handsome face. "Crap."

Also to his credit, Achilles rapidly realized just how badly he'd bungled.

Perhaps he'd failed to recognized her; after all, she'd willfully materialized in a younger form rather than her prime. Perhaps he was so arrogant as to believe he'd done her no wrong. Perhaps he simply failed to realize just how badly he'd bungled. Regardless, he shouldn't have revealed himself and clearly regretted his decision to do so now. In a silent shimmer of light, he summed his spear to his side. She answered with her flail, white knuckled fingers wrapping around the warped metal.

His foot shifted a fraction of an inch, hardly at all.

Penthesilea flew at him with a howl.

"ACHILLES!"

A/N: Not my usual style, trying a more visceral style here.

Angry!Penthesilea is just too fun to write, she kinda stole the show.

Aaaand now cometh the brawl I've been holding myself back from. Fitting that we're getting Achilles over here soon.

Was it wrong that I spent this chapter spoiling her? Most likely. But given the...events that she faces, I thought she deserved it. I'm going around updating all of my stuff, so expect to hear from me again in the next few days.

Reviews are Love. Reviews are Life. Reviews keep me alive.

Lack of Reviews sends me right back into hibernation.

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...revieeeew, would you kindly?

And enjoy these previews!

Death next chapter!

(Previews)

"ROMA!"

"Ruler...why are you smiling?"

"No reason, I just found someone fun~!"

Naruto clicked his tongue in mild annoyance. He didn't like this. Not a bit. Not at all.

"Fine." he groused. "I'll do it myself."

If the Red and Black factions refused to attack each other...well. They just needed a good poke, didn't they? Perhaps another faction would spur them into action.

"Ha?" Caenis tilted her head. "Lancer of Gold?" a wild smile flashed across her tan visage. "Heh! I like it! Let's kill 'em all, Master!"

"A~dor~able~!" Berserker flew at him with a shriek as he spoke, only to find herself swept into a crushing hug. "You know, that never gets old...

R&R! =D