A/N: WARNING!

This Naruto is from a different universe. One where things went terribly, horribly wrong. I worked long and hard on this...

...but still, I'm afraid this won't be as popular as the rest of the Unlikely Series T_T

THEY SAID I WOULDN'T DARE TO DO IT! THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE!

WHAT SAY YOU NOW?!

(EDIT) There's also a bunch of anonymous bastards flaming me for doing this, but here I stand!

So lets answer a quick question that some of you have been wondering about.

Tier wise the top three Naruto's at the moment are thus:

(1) We have Saber!Naruto.

(2) Followed by Ruler!Naruto.

(3) Finally, Berserker!Naruto (Shackled) brings up the rear.

Well...here goes nothing! Onwards and upwards! I feel I should clarify right off the bat that this is post-Kaguya Naruto, and ordinarly, a pretty chill guy. But that's where things spin wildly off course. For one, he never fell in love. Never got married. Our boy didn't age horribly as he did in Boruto, he. Like Berserker, he died of old age. UNLIKE Berserker, he decided to do what his class says on the tin.

RULE.

Not the world, because that would be folly, but the Elemental Nations themselves. To keep the peace. He has no desire for the Grail, no regrets and little to live for in a second life beyond the task he suddenly found himself saddled with. He's also unapologetically lawful evil.

So here we are.

A darker, bloodier take on Apocrypha...

...and a Ruler who won't tolerate Shirou's meddling.

No, here we have a Rule who would cut to the quick of that IMMEDIATELY.

Game of Thrones references are obvious and I own absolute nothing, nothing at all~!

Clearly, this Naruto is from another universe, one where things went terribly, horribly wrong...or did they?

As ever, this will be taken down in two days if people don't like it. So by all means dear readers, do let me know what you think!

"There are many ways of ruling. One can rule with words. Or fire and blood.

Be grateful I prefer the former. Perhaps that makes me a hypocrite.

At least I'm an honest about myself."

~Ruler.

A Most Unlikely Ruler

What does it mean to rule?

There as many ways of ruling as there are stars in the sky.

One can rule with kindness. One can rule with cruelty. One can rule with gold. One can rule with military might. The list goes on and on and on through time immemorial. You can be a clever ruler or an inept one; it makes no difference in the end. Either you're worthy of praise and accolades eternal, or you're not. Its that simple. True rulers, I've found, put the needs of others above themselves. They sacrifice the needs of one for the many, no matter the cost. They strike the hard bargain, they taste the bitter steel, all for the sake of their people.

Even if it makes them the villain.

For Rulers are meant to serve their people-not the other way around-and to rule, one must possess wisdom, but also emotion. Be a terror to your enemies, but a saint to your friends. Act fairly in all aspects of life. Do the right thing, even as others shout you down. Hold to your judgement no matter the cost. Do what must be done. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. You serve the people. The people put you in charge; thus, it falls to you to protect them. To ensure their livelihood. To make decisions that benefit them, if not immediately, then in the long term. When chaos comes, when that great pit threatens to swallow the realm and all that you've built up in the span of your life...

...climb. No matter how long it takes.

No matter how many times you fall. Climb.

Some say chaos is a pit. Some are wrong. Chaos is a ladder.

Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. Shatters them so utterly that they can never try again. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to their villages or their gods or their love. Bah! Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is. If you stop in an untenable position, others will eventually climb past you; tear you down, drag you off the ladder, and break you. You can only stop when you reach the top, when your position is secure.

I learned that lesson when I was but a boy; one could say I began climbing the day I stole a certain scroll; the day the truth was revealed to me. In a sense, I suppose I owe my path to Mizuki. Now isn't that ironic? At the end of the day, the fool was actually good for something after all.

"Not human," he called me. "A demon fox," he jeered.

A naive boy would've fallen, let those words break him. Not me.

I strangled him with a thousand hands and he never mocked me again.

In that moment, my world changed forever. Thus my climb began. You see, I had always wanted to be Hokage since I was a boy, but it was then-at that moment-that I resolved to make it just to spite the world. They said I couldn't, thus, I wanted to prove them wrong. At first it was about attention, being acknowledged by those who'd held me down. That changed quickly.

My climb continued.

Through mist and trees and through death and deceit, through lies and treachery, through shadows old and new. I listened. I learned, and I realized the world didn't need an angry brat with a chip on his shoulder, but one -someone!-who knew the truth of the world. A fragmented world divided by warring states. I saw villages fighting villages while their people suffered, and for what? Scraps. Territory. Pride. Love. Still, I climbed; not out of any selfish desire on my part, but because wanted to help people. I wanted peace. Not duty. Not love.

They say love is the death of duty. And duty, the death of love.

I don't put much stock in love these days. I don't reject it...I just don't see the point in it. Perhaps that's foolish.

Perhaps I let a bad experience burn me. Who knows? Would you, if you'd seen what I'd seen? I can't say. We've never met.

Tell me, what good is love when that love does nothing but hurt you and those around you? Consider it, if you will. If that which you love, that one person or thing you treasure beyond everything else in this world, brings you nothing but pain, then can it truly be called love? No. If that love manipulates you, belittles and berates you at every turn, uses you for her own gain, is that true love? No. If that love chooses another-someone who wants to burn the world-for a misguided belief and LIES to you all the while, is THAT the love they tell stories about? NO! That love is a lie! AN ILLUSION! Nothing but ash in the wind! That is not love! That love is a lie!

Tell me, if your precious "love" commanded you to silence your own troops and stand by while thousands of men women and children burned alive, would you have done it?

Would you have kept your oath then?

That's not an oath, little bird. That is idiocy. And I wouldn't let the world burn for a boy's love.

So I did what must be done. I did not hesitate. I showed no mercy. I put on a traitor's mask and smiled a traitor's smile for Sakura, promising her that I would do whatever she said. That I would stand aside. There would be no resistance from me, I told her. The village would burn, and she would have what she wanted. We would join Sasuke. The world would know "peace".

I kissed her.

I lied; I told her that I loved her.

I promised her the three of us would rule. Together.

Then I drove my knife into her heart. I still remember it, you know. That moment. That look. The feel of her body shuddering in my arms, convulsing. Her lips falling away from mine as the kunai slipped into her chest and ended her life. The way she looked-looked!-at me, horror dawning in those lovely green eyes, a thin line of blood running down her lips as her mouth worked in mute horror for words that never came. She must've realized what I intended for her then; because she punched me, tried to stagger away. She was a skilled medical ninja; she would've survived if I gave her time, I think.

I broke her neck to make sure that wouldn't happen.

Perhaps that was cold. Perhaps that was cruel of me, to promise her on one hand stab her heart with the other. But I'm not a fool. He was. A naive boy with an idiotic crush, pining for someone who at best, would never return his affections, and at worst help a madman burn an entire village alive. Not in a million years. He never could have climbed. He never would've been able to fly, much less rule fairly. He would have been blinded by that idiotic affection, and it would've led us to our death. So I killed the boy. I strangled him, and a man was born from his ashes.

Sakura was the first friend I killed; she would not be the last.

Her body was still warm when I marched my men out of the gates and met Sasuke's so-called army in the field. No speech. No offer of mercy. Only eradication. Say what you will about White-Zetsu and their ilk, but they make effective shock troops and devastating spies. Give them a chance to disguise themselves and they'll wreak havoc on your forces. If I hadn't been there, if I hadn't been able to see through their deception, things might have gone badly for us. But they didn't and they died. And my "best friend" was overwhelmed by sheer bloody numbers. I wasn't even the one to kill him, though I tried; that honor went to Neji. When all was said and done, he beat him into a bloody pulp.

Good man, Neji. He advised me for years after the war until old age finally took him. He died in his bed, surrounded by half a dozen grandchildren. Ah, but I digress. Back to the climb.

Through fire and blood, through invasion and war. Through the machinations of "Tobi" and his puppets. Through Madara. Through the Akatsuki themselves. I conquered. I fought. I united. I gathered all the survivors to me-under my banner-and saved whomever I could, whenever I could, but it wasn't enough. Too extreme, they said. Too brutal. Many judged me for my methods, for my actions, and my deeds lived on in infamy. As if they expected me to save everyone. As if I could. It was war. People DIE in war. There's no way around that.

I did what no one else would!

I unlocked powers not seen in centuries!

I plucked the eyes from the skull of a man who called himself Pain!

I stared down an immortal army and beat them back with sheer willpower alone!

I faced a mad goddess in mortal combat and I swallowed her soul. Plucked it from her chest, and devoured her.

I brought the world to heel, to order, and when they rose against me-as I knew they eventually would-I gave them a choice. Join me or leave. Some did. Others refused. One tried to stab me in the back. I did not kill him for his faults. No. That would've been the act of a wicked man. Only fools destroy what they cannot control, and I never wanted to control people. I only ever wanted us to be safe. To be ready. That blasted woman wasn't the end of it; she was merely the beginning of an invasion, the first wave of something far, far worse.

I didn't begrudge them that choice, even when they vilified me as a villain.

When the rest of Kaguya's kin finally came calling years later, I was waiting for them. With a united nation behind my back. We crushed them, to a man. With no survivors. They didn't stand a chance. When the time came for the final blow, I did not falter. I did what must be done. I did not hesitate. I showed no mercy. Only then, in my later years, did they understand. I was not a tyrant. I never tried to BE a tyrant. I was just a man. And what is a man but a miserable little pile of secrets?

I took no wives. I fathered no children, yet I made certain my legacy would continue.

In the end I adopted an orphan from the war, raised her as my own, and eventually entrusted my legacy to her. I lived long enough to see her usher the shinobi world into a new golden age, then her son and his son's daughter. The world had no more need of an old warmonger like me by then, and I was content to let myself fade away. So I did. My legacy was secure. I stepped aside and passed quietly in my sleep. Oh, I could have lived on for centuries yet, but I chose to pass. For my family. For that little girl I plucked off the battlefield and all who came after her.

I suppose that's what endures in the end.

Its the family name that lives on. Not honor, not strife, but family. Its almost funny, really. I didn't realize that until the very end. But still, I ruled. I have no regrets. Some may ask why I did what I did. I had a choice you see; betray myself or betray the world. Cling to my ideals or forsake them. Save myself or save those in front of me. Sasuke brought an army, not only to our doorstep, but to everyone else. An army of dead men and old monsters long since past, numbering in the millions. And what came after it was...worse. Much worse.

So, yes. I broke my vow to save the world; though I suppose I'd already broken many more before it.

If I had to do it all over, knowing where I'd end up, I pray I'd make the right choice again.

I picked up the broken pieces after the war and forged them into a dynasty.

I fought. I won. Now I rest. Let history speak of my as they will. Perhaps there are better stories than mine, less violent paths out there. I tried to take them, when I could, where I could. I played my part and paved the way for those who would come after me. Let them rule my empire or divide it as they see fit. Those that I saved lived. Their children and their children's children lived. Because of me. Call me a monster if you must. The blame begins and ends with me. Denounce me, demean me, damn me to the darkest pit. You have that right. But know this. This "monster" saved the world. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.

That is what it means to Rule! Making the hard choices for your people!

No matter the cost, no matter the pain! No matter what!

That is the essence of a Ruler!

(...0o0o0...)

"This is not the way, my son."

Shirou scarcely heard the voice before someone took his arm.

The assault was quick, ruthless, efficient. Just the sort he would use to surprise an enemy.

One moment he'd been striving to summon a Servant, right arm raised as he offered the catalyst to the circle; then his world spun and he found himself gaping at a severed stump just below the elbow. Not a heartbeat later, he went blind in his left eye as a someone raked a hooked staff across his face. As he stumbled and tried to draw his blade with his remaining hand, that same someone subsequently swept his legs, all but shattered his sword, and knocked him to the floor of the church. The sound echoed hollowly against empty pews, followed by a cry of pain when his back struck said floor.

"Pardon the interruption," a rich, rumbling voice resonated throughout the room. "Don't get up on my account. I won't be but a moment. Now listen, and listen good. This!"

Whack.

"Simply isn't."

Whack.

"How we do things!"

Whack.

Each blow rained down on Shirou with ruthless, relentless intent. Three blows in three seconds, each barreling through his crippled defenses as a hurricane would a wooden shack. With a horrible crack, the deadly point of that staff slammed down into and through Shirou's stomach. In that moment any further resistance became moot on his part. Even a reincarnated Servant such as himself was not invincible, and he wasn't a particularly strong Servant at that. His opponent had dealt him a grievous-if not mortal-wound and just disarmed him, figuratively, if not literally.

Even so, Ruler did not go quietly.

Blood bubbled up between faltering fingers as the white-haired man grit his teeth and grasped at the staff. he tried to rise; to no avail. His enemy's staff was well and truly wedged in his flesh, scraping his ribs, brushing his spine. He could no sooner tear it out than he could remove his remaining arm. Almost as if it had become part of the floor itself. Still he tugged at it, to no avail. That silent, stubborn part of himself that he couldn't quite cast aside, even after ridding himself of all his anger and hate, refused to lay down and die.

"Stubborn, aren't you?" the voice came on again, accompanied by the faint sound of footsteps. "Now you're just making me feel bad."

Someone clicked their tongue in mild admonishment and just like that the staff tore itself free. Through hazy eyes Shirou glimpsed the vague outline of his attacker as he lay sprawled out on the floor; rather he saw the outline of their boot mere moments before it cannoned right into his face. His head jerked aside. Teeth shattered like glass.

Blood spattered like fine wine.

Tenaciously, Shirou still clung to consciousness, refusing to black out in the face of this assault. He was a credit to his given name, if nothing else. He rode the blow, curled up against the pain and willed himself to be calm when his body's first instinct was naught but panic. Though his body faltered and his lifeblood stained the stones, his mind remained silent and strong. Stop. Think. I'm not dead. I can come back from this. Yes. Wounded though he might be, he wasn't dead by any means or measure, not yet. He willed himself to look up, to squint against the full moonlight-though it hid his attacker's face-and look him in the eye.

"Who...are you?"

"Servant, Ruler." pearly white teeth flashed out at him in a grim caricature of a smile. "My true name is Uzumaki Naruto. I have not responded to your summons. Consider this an intervention."

Those words stirred Shirou enough to draw a grimace.

Right.

The ritual.

He'd nearly forgotten.

He'd been about to summon a Servant, hadn't he? After the disaster with Semiramis's catalyst, he'd been forced to delay the summoning and seek another. And another. Another still. Someone with peerless strength, yet also easily directed. In the end he'd given up and chosen brawn over brains. Had he summoned this one by mistake?

No.

For all the shock and the blood loss, the former Ruler felt no connection between them and the Servant before him had openly admitted as much. Which meant the Grail was to blame. It had summoned this one as a Ruler deliberately. As a counter to him. Why? He'd sought to summon a Servant beyond compare. Instead, the Grail had denied him in the moon's glare.

Wait.

The Grail! Shirou's gaze snapped southward.

If he could just reach the catalyst, then might yet get out-

"No, no, no." a booted foot nudged the item away from his grasping hand. "Can't have you summoning someone on death's door. I've dealt with that before. But just to be safe...

He took his remaining arm in the same breath, cleaving it away with all the ease of a master swordsman, heedless of the priest's strangled shout. The pain turned his vision red, threatening to drive him under.

But when he looked for the weapon that had maimed him-now unable to so much as grasp his wounds-he saw no sword in his hand. That made no sense. How could he cut him with that staff? Was it even a staff? Here in the light at last it didn't look like a staff at all, or a sword for that matter. A strange double-helix shaped weapon that seemed to swallow all light, one that threatened to turn him mad if he stared at it overlong.

"Sorry about that." the mysterious Servant hummed, tilting their head. "The sword of Nunoboko isn't something I use lightly, but I have to be sure you stay down."

Legs. He still had his legs. He needed to run...to escape...

That monstrous weapon swung out again, forcing him to tumble half a pace away.

"Damnit, missed." the Servant swore, tracking him as he stumbled toward the door only to hit the floor once more. "Well, that's to be expected I suppose. This body's a bit of a loaner, after all. Still getting used to it. I had to possess a nearby body and rush it here just to stop you, you know? Look. Its already burning out." he raised a crumbling hand, considering the inevitable state of decay as one might a passing cloud. "Its a disgrace. In my age, humans were built of tougher stuff than this. Ah." perhaps seeing the hope in his eyes, Ruler's smile deepened. "Don't worry your pretty little head. I'll have a proper spiritual core once you're dealt with."

So that was it, then. He meant to kill him. The Grail meant to kill him, to reject his vision.

It didn't make any sense. Where had he gone wrong? He only wanted to help.

"Why...?"

"Why?" his killer scoffed, stepping into the light. "You ask why, when you already know the answer? You see, the Holy Grail-such as she is-doesn't much like what you're trying to do. Think of me as the fail-safe. No, she isn't happy with you, Shirou Amakusa Tokisada or your meddling. So I offered her a deal. And here we are."

His attacker dropped down on his haunches, permitting the false priest a glimpse at his features. Sure enough, he found himself gazing up into a lean whiskered face rather unlike than his own, that tan visage framed by a shaggy mess of jagged blond hair spilling down his back. Pale violet eyes glared down at him, rimmed and rippling endlessly. What were they? It felt as if he were staring into the abyss; and something in the abyss stared back in cold disdain; mocking him, his ideals, his very existence.

A hand closed around his head, seizing a fistful of white hair, forcing him to look up.

"Aha. And there it is." whiskered cheeks dimpled in a small smile, and another hand took hold of Shirou's chin to give him a soft shake. "That's the look. I've seen it for years in face after face. You all hate me. You'll be no different, I suppose. You have a right to be angry, I suppose."

Those eerie eyes pulsed and an invisible hand swatted Shirou away like the hand of an angry god, sending his battered boy in a uncontrolled tumble across the floor. It was all he could do just to breathe. Cold. Why did he feel so cold? Was this death? Was he going to die here? No! He couldn't! He mustn't! He still had so much to do! Humanity was counting on him! Without him...without him...

"I will obtain all the good in the world." he recited the words like a chant, willing his broken body to move towards the church's exit, toward the door. He just had to make it to that door. "A world where everyone is happy, everyone is good, and everyone is perfect." Inch by inch he crawled forward, though to what lay beyond, he knew not. "I will exterminate all evil and create a new, pure world...

"That is not the duty of a Ruler."

The blade scythed past, wedging itself into the door to bar his path.

"And what did you ever rule?" the young man wheezed, struggling upright.

Those eerie eyes regarded him with...pity? It looked like pity but it felt like scorn.

"More than you'll ever know." the words were almost a whisper. "That's why I'm here."

To his dismay, the new Servant didn't refute him; he merely moved in to deal the killing blow. Slowly. Leisurely. He had all the time in the world. Without his arms and bleeding from a gut wound, Shirou knew he was easy pickings for even the weakest of Servants. He could still run of course, but his own injuries hampered him, dragging every step down. Why hadn't he finished him off yet? The tension was almost maddening. If he'd come here to kill him, why linger? What purpose did this stalling serve? None of it made any sense.

Perhaps, had he realized his fellow Servant was actually trying to teach him something, he might've been more astute.

"I understand what you were trying to accomplish and, for what its worth, I understand." that eerie visage regarded him with an almost fatherly smile as he approached. "You wanted peace. Order. Prosperity for humanity as a whole. You died for it once, and you're doubtless prepared to die again. But you gave up your emotions and lost your path. What you're trying to accomplish here...this is not salvation." he paused and spread both arms wide at his sides, as if he intended to embrace the moon itself looming above them. "Quite the opposite, actually. As a certain Berserker would say, this is oppression. And a selfish one at that."

The words struck Shirou like a slap in the the face.

"That's not true." anger tumbled out of him in a rush of denial. "You're lying."

"Am I?" Naruto didn't waver, didn't even blink again. "Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

Shirou grit his teeth. No. He refused to think of it. A seed of doubt had already been planted, allowing it to grow would ruin him.

And yet, when the faux-Servant looked within, the truth loomed before him, larger than life. "I only wanted to...I only wanted to save them...!"

Perhaps the newcomer empathized with him on some level. Perhaps the whiskered warrior saw the anguish in his eyes. Perhaps he recognized the pain as his ideals came crumbling down.

"I know." Regardless, that rough voice softened with a faint semblance of pity. "Believe me. I know what its like to lose. We all falter sometimes. We all fail. But you, you couldn't accept your defeat. Instead you tried to smash the board and start over. You tried to take their choice away." with that said, the true Ruler threw his head back to gaze at that heaven sphere, craning his neck up to peer deep into its unknowable depths, "A true Ruler rules, flaws and all. That's the thing about man. They may be cruel at times, but they also have the potential for incredible acts of kindness."

Something ugly reared its head in Shirou's heart, the ghost of an emotion he'd thought long since buried.

"Kindness." he spat the word like a curse, turning and hawking a wad of blood onto the cobblestones. "You're wrong! Humanity isn't kind! They're cruel! Vicious! They kill without remorse! Life should be precious, yet they squander it! They waste it! They allow themselves to be divided by the merest of means! They kill one another over pride, religion, dogma! Without someone to guide them, they can't be saved!"

"They can. They will."

"Do you truly believe that?" Shirou scoffed.

"I do." That blond mane bobbed in regal agreement. "I've seen it firsthand. Its not for us to decide their fate. We're ghosts, you and I, and the living shouldn't be ruled by the dead." A faint glimmer of that lunar radiance danced in those wild eyes as he returned his attention to Shirou and the matter of hand. "Hold still. I'll try to make this painless. Go back to the Throne, if you can." That hideous sword-staff whipped up in a blur of black, hooking back for one last swing. "Watch this war, if you can. Try and learn from this, if you can. Now...farewell."

His blade descended in the blink of an eye.

It was a swift end all things considered; for his last strike pierced Shirou's chest entirely and found his heart. By comparison to the beating he'd suffered thus far, this was quick and painless. He felt no pain, just a sudden stop before his world began to fade. A small, disbelieving laugh burst from him. He hadn't expected to die like this, his hopes dashed, a kernel of truth given to him in his final moments. His last sight was that of his fellow Ruler regarding him with that same pitiable expression as before. But he would not go quietly. He would have his final words, at least.

"Alright, then." Shirou croaked, gazing up at his killer. "I'll...be...watching...

Then he knew no more; life left him and his body slumped with a final, wistful sigh.

Naruto paused, considering him, considering the blood, considering the work he'd wrought.

"I'll try not to disappoint you, then." he murmured.

Naught but silence answered him.

After a moment's hesitation he knelt and placed a hand over the boy's face, easing his now-sightless eyes shut. His fellow-Ruler was no longer a Servant in the traditional/physical sense; he hadn't been for quite some time since coming into contact with the Grail and being granted flesh. As such, his body did not dissolve upon his death. Still, the lingering sight of his corpse offended his replacement. It didn't feel right, leaving him like this, even after killing him.

Thankfully, there were ways to remedy that.

A quick tap of his staff rendered the ground rubble underfoot. Another caused the soil to stir and swallow the dead Ruler's body, taking it down deep into the depths were it would never be found by man or beast. A third and final such strike loosed a fissure of flame into the earth after the remains, ensuring that no one could ever extricate the ashes. It was done, then. The False Ruler was dead.

And the Grail responded.

The change began slowly at first, his vision went white at the edges as he felt his fingers go numb, frayed flesh beginning shimmer and distort. Next came a fleeting rush of weightlessness accompanied by nausea as the Graild did its work. Ruler calmly closed his eyes against it, stoically riding out the rush of vertigo that followed. A calm surety of strength rushed in to fill the gap, and when next he opened them he found himself gazing down at the ruined remnants of what had once been his host. A faint twinge of guilt plucked at him, but nevertheless he repeated the procedure for the human he had forcibly possessed.

In his place he found he possessed a proper spiritual body, connected directly to the Grail.

All was as it should be. And yet...

"Sorry, pal." he apologized to the homeless man whose body as it sank beneath the stones. "You have my thanks, for whatever its worth."

It still didn't excuse what he'd done to this poor creature; this man had been on his last legs when he'd taken him, dying from a terminal illness; one not even a Servant of his caliber could hope to cure. His spirit had been surprisingly pliable when he'd made the offer. There had been no one left in his family, nor friends to mourn him. He had been alone in his final moments. Now he lay dead at his feet. Just another victim. Death seemed to follow him wherever he went, even as a Servant.

Still, Ruler was nothing if not dutiful.

Banishing his blade, he turned toward the lingering magic circle.

"Now, then." a small smile plucked at the corner of his mouth, "What are we going to do with you?"

All but ignored until this very moment, the summoning circle had lain dormant during their conflict. Still, the mana fed into the ritual by Shirou remained if only in part. Someone was waiting on the other side; roused by the bloodshed, eager and awake, ready to come crashing through the barrier between their their worlds. They needed only a Master to stabilize their body and a catalyst to stabilize their form. He could feel this strange stray through his bond to the Grail, just as he he could feel the catalysts discarded underfoot. All was in readiness. It just needed a little...push. Just a tiny nudge, and a Servant would be born into the world.

It seemed such a shame to deny a pure soul their rebirth.

Naruto considered the catalysts for a moment.

Yes, such a terrible shame indeed.

The first was a tiny little thing, barely a rust-worn scrap of what might have been a ball and chain in an age long forgotten. Hmm. Perhaps, in this timeline, the fool priest had simply failed to find the catalyst he originally sought for himself. Who knew? Likewise the second-a broken dagger-dagger initially baffled him, but with the knowledge given him by the Grail he had a strong inkling of whom the latter was meant to represent. A stray impulse plucked at his mind and he reached down, gripping each catalyst in hand. Hmm.

Why not?

He could do with an adjutant.

Someone to help him enforce order.

Perhaps it was spiteful of him to steal a Servant from the Red Faction, but something about his fellow Ruler had riled him. Stealing peoples emotions away? Manifesting their souls? It reminded him too much of Madara by half, and the boy who still formed the core of his being bridled at the insult. You couldn't force happiness upon someone. They had to choose. Taking that choice away was the same as tyranny itself. For all his flaws, he'd always given those he ruled a choice, and he'd been fair in his judgement. Yes, he decided. This would serve as a lesson.

"Let chance decide, then." he decreed, throwing the pieces onto the circle. "I've always been a bit of a gambler."

It ignited almost immediately and he grinned headlong into the light.

Remarkably the Grail didn't punish him for his impudence; perhaps it knew his mind, that he had no desire to usurp it. Perhaps it simply didn't care, now that the usurper had been silenced. No, on the contrary, it allowed the Command Spells to bloom on his the back of his hand in brilliant red relief. Naruto released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His gamble-his whim!-had paid off, then. Three more added to the plethora he already commanded. That momentary flash of blazing blue brilliance abated quickly, roaring into existence only to shrink just as quickly, the smoke sucked away into the void.

"Servant, Berserker. Queen of the Amazons, Penthesilea." a young woman's regal voice swelled within the church like a siren's song. "I have complied with your summons."

Oh! So Shirou had been trying to summon someone from the Trojan War. That mad sense, Penthesilea was a powerful warrior in her own right.

Ruler found himself looking down.

Down, further still.

...eh?"

Golden eyes gazed up at him, framed by long, pale hair tied in loose blue blow. That fair face contorted in a scowl, her petite-yet-chiseled form shifting warily from heel to heel as she continued to state him down. And her clothes...gods above, her clothes! Did she have to be so absurdly brazen in what she wore?! She looked five-to-ten years removed from the warrior queen he'd expected, yet only a simple band concealed her breasts, and only a half cloak and breached to mask her thighs. Gauntlets and greaves aside, she looked rather formidable. His human self would've squawked and squalled and screamed for this wee sprite of a girl to cover herself up immediately. Now? He merely arched an eyebrow at this strange creature and her scanty attire, this severe beauty-

No. Not a beauty.

Something told him something horrible would happen if he said that word. Even to him.

"A Servant summoning a Servant?" she blinked at him, momentarily taken aback. "How unusual."

"This is an unusual war." Ruler retorted. "The one who intended to summon you is unfortunately...indisposed."

Penthesilea seemed to consider that for a moment. Then those golden orbs narrowed upon him as if he'd wronged her somehow.

"Listen well, knave. I care little if you are my Master or not. However!" she gazed up at him coldly, serenely, ready to strike at the slightest provocation. "If Achiles is here, you will bring him out. Now. Else there will be trouble." An ugly spark of something flashed through her gilded gaze, a dark growl creeping into her voice. "Keeping him a secret will get you killed."

Achilles?

...I know no such Servant."

A lie, of course. The Grail provided the information the moment he'd heard the name. But he had no need to tell her that, nor did he feel particularly inclined to. Her grudge against "that man" was fairly well known among Servants, even without the Grail guiding them. As such, he wisely refrained from mentioning his name lest her wrath turn on him instead. That might actually be dangerous given her absurd strength. Should she go mad with no other target in sight, she could inflict lasting damage...

"But he must be here!" the amazon stamped an outraged foot in sullen anger, pulling him back to himself. "How else would I be summoned?!"

"If you want him he's yours." Naruto caught himself shrugging. "But until then you will behave."

With that lone word he reached out and expended a single Command Spell, wrapping it around the length of her body like a fine wire. Penth's first instinct was to lash out, to strike down this fool who dared to command an oath from her. Her eyes darkened in instinctual madness, but the seals only wrapped around her all the more. She snapped at him, and the whiskered warrior only sighed.

"Jeez, now you're just being troublesome."

"How did you...?"

"I'm the Ruler of this war." he clicked his tongue at her in mild admonishment. "I thought that much would be obvious. Please don't try to attack me, it won't end well."

Berserker sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth, her slim shoulders tensing in a fit of near apocalyptic fury. "You presume to command me, boy?"

Ruler rolled his eyes and raised another hand. "Gee, let me think about-YES."

When he spoke again his voice rang like thunder, a whip against her will and the second such command spell brought the proud queen crashing to her knees. A third such order had her sprawled out against the ground in a right state, barely able to do more than glower at him. Even then she struggled against it, thrashing her back and arms like a wild tiger against the floor until the Command Spell restrained even those. Still she refused to bend, to break before him, resisting him with her gaze alone.

"Gah! Bastard!" she forced the words through a stiff jaw. "How dare you?!"

"Bastard? I prefer the term lawful evil. I really don't like the idea of using these in the first place," Naruto sighed over her incredulous protests. "For whatever its worth, I'm sorry. But I can't have you berserking on me for no reason. So lets establish the terms of our contract from the get-go." Rinnegan eyes narrowed to vicious violet slits as he knelt before her. "We're both Servants, here. I will not hurt you."

Penthesilea looked up, but refrained from spitting.

"I will never forsake you." he continued, in spite of her disbelieving stare. "I will not force you to do anything untoward against your will. You don't have to respect me, you don't have to listen to me, hell, you don't even have to keep our contract if you find serving me that odious. Of course, quid pro quo, if you do stay, I'd ask the same of you."

She only blinked in disbelief. "That's it? You'd yield your power so easily?"

"That's it." his head bobbed. "Although...I'd also appreciate if you didn't murder me to death."

"I make no promises. Release me!"

The smallest of smiles quirked between them and with a snap of his fingers, the command binding her limbs went slack. She surged upright to her knees but found only an outstretched hand waiting for. Some might have taken it, accepted the olive branch without a second. Not her. Penthesilea was not so easily swayed. She batted his hand aside and rose with a huff, ignoring the bemused look it earned her.

Still, the seed had been planted.

He'd given her something to think on.

Gods above, she hated it when enemies made her think.

A gauntlet-clad fist lashed out, demolishing the nearest wall she could find. It felt good to smash down the stone and mortar; to actually hit something that wasn't him. Fresh moonlight spilled through the opening, and she paused just long enough to glance at him in an attempt gauge his mood. For his part Naruto lazily pulled himself to his feet and scooted past her, as if he'd made the opening himself.

"Looking forward to working with you, Berserker." Her Master hummed, patting her head before stepping into the opening himself. "Now, then! There's work to be done!"

Wait, what?

Penthesilea frowned.

"I don't understand. What work? Hey!"

Humming softly, Ruler shambled off into the night.

After a long, ponderous moment, Penth followed after him.

As such, she missed the smile small alighting upon those whiskered cheeks.

"And now," Naruto hummed to himself, "Let the games begin...its time for some sin...

A/N: Ruler!Naruto is not someone you want to mess with.

Saver!Naruto is a saint-and he'll get his own tale-but this one's an outright menace.

Be grateful he has some morals and no wish, or the world of Apocrypha would literally be on fire.

I feel I should also point out that Naruto may-or-may-not have just started his own faction by accident. He doesn't know this of course, but...

Before anyone asks, yes this will be an almost entirely different roster, in part because Ruler!Naruto was summoned, and promptly killed Shirou, a ripple that changed everything. The Master remain the same, the Servants...not so much. As far as appearances goes, our boy's basically the same. He aged better than his cannon counterpart, kept his hair, and his jawline is a bit harder. And he's powered by the grail directly in this iteration. Meaning he can give stubborn Servants a good thrashing if step get out of line. No. Mana. Restrictions.

Now lets get into the meat of the matter.

Achilles will be summoned as Rider of Red, naturally. For one, Penthesiila's getting her debut against him. I almost pity him this time around...almost.

EVERY. OTHER. SLOT. IS. OPEN.

So vote with your reviews, ya scallywags! Tell me who you want to see! Let the ideas flow forth like fine wine!

As ever, this will be taken down in two days if people don't like it. So by all means dear readers, do let me know what you think! This story's been quite a long time in coming-on the backburner for a while indeed-and it'll have some fan favorites...

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...review, would you kindly?

And enjoy the previews!

Potential ones!

VOTE ON EM!

References ahoy, because that's my shtick~!

(Previews)

"You hurt me, Naruto! You broke my heart and I'll never stop trying to hurt you back!"

Penthesilea gulped.

"Ruler...why are you smiling?"

"No reason, I just found someone fun~!"

"Will you serve?"

Saber smiled serenely.

In a single graceful movement, they knelt.

"If you will have me, Master. My blade is yours."

...you're mocking me, aren't you?" Rider twitched.

"Oh, no, no, no, no." Then he spun. "Achilles! Look! Its Penthesilea!"

"Where?!'

"Bahahahaha!"

"ACHIIIIIIIILLEEEEEEES!"

Oh. She's actually here. Well. That's unfor-

"Ara, ara! Its so very nice to meet you again, Naruto! Or should I call you Ruler this time?"

Naruto planted a hand against his forehead and tried not to groan. "I take it you're familiar with me?"

Raikou beamed. "Quite well~! Do you not remember the time we spent together? I'd be more than happy to regale you~!"

...yeah, that does it. I'm just no good with people like her."

"You lot will conduct this war proper." Ruler admonished each of the Masters. "Properly."

"And if we refuse?"

Those strange, rippling eyes regarded them with quiet intent.

...remember that I serve the Grail." his smile seemed sincere but Archer recognized the menace behind it all too well. "If you insist on dancing around the matter? I'll make a new faction and beat you into the ground. I'm quite certain you don't want that, and neither does the Grail. Really, I have no interest in fighting any of you. But if you force me, well! I'll just have to wipe you out."

His sword swung again, and the world reasserted itself.

"So. Play. Nice."

"There you are."

At a glance, one could say Lancer was intimidating.

A bountiful beauty bound behind vicious dark-indigo armor, she almost resembled a dragon. Were it not for the cold yellow eyes regarding him within that helm, he might well have dismissed her as a beast. But that ugly lance in her hand was anything but.

Ruler sighed. "Don't do it, Storm King. You'll die."

...my apologies. But for the sake of the Black Faction, you must fall here today, Ruler."

R&R! =D