I don't own Naruto.

For months, she couldn't see anything, and she could barely move her muscles. Am I dead? Or is my body paralysed? The girl would wonder.

When she could finally see again, the people around her were big. No, her brain supplied, I'm the one who's small.

With much difficulty, she brought her hands up to a level where she could see them to confirm her suspicions, and true enough, she had short, stubby fingers that could only belong to a child.

Her surroundings were different from what she was used to. While most people did have brown hair, there were plenty others with a colourful array of other hair colours. Literally. They spoke Japanese, but the clothes they wore were different from the usual Japanese fashion.

(She would know. Watching anime had familiarised her with the country of origin, and tempted her into learning the language.)

It was also what led her to realise where exactly she was. After all, clothes of the Naruto World were easily distinguishable. Bandages, fishnet clothes, sandals, flak jackets, and the very obvious Konoha forehead protectors left no room for discussions.

Once she had properly organised her thoughts, she made a firm decision.

I'm not going to be a ninja.

That didn't mean to say that she planned to live a normal civilian life, though. Why do that when you've already done it once, right?

And so, she experimented with chakra. She started with simply feeling the circulation of chakra within her body, then slowly moved on to concentrating them in different parts of her body. Occasionally, she'd try to stick parts of her clothes, such as her loose sleeves, to her skin and test whether they'd come off if she tried to hang them in midair. By the end of each day, she would exhaust her chakra level past the safe limit, but was careful enough to ensure that she wouldn't suffer from chakra exhaustion, so as to gradually increase her chakra capacity. Or at least, that was what they reasoned in the fanfictions she had read.

When she could properly walk without stumbling about again, she practised walking up walls in secret. It had been scary at first, considering she could fall and die at any point of time, but practising chakra control had turned out fruitful results, and soon enough, walking against gravity became second nature to her.

One day, a ridiculously unusual and unlikely event occurred.

The girl had been brought along for grocery shopping. She was snug in her mother's warm arms when a crow swooped down to peck her on the head, and since was barely over a year old, her delicate scalp started bleeding.

"Shiori!"

Oh, so that's what my name is, she thought, before passing out from the pain.

I hope it doesn't scar.

When she came to, she noticed the white walls of the hospital and the lack of pain in her head, as well as the hurried footsteps of doctors and nurses in the corridor.

The doctor beside her removed his glowing green hand from her forehead and turned to her mother, informing her that her child would be fine but should still take precautions, so on and so forth.

He had also referred to her mother as "Nara-san".

Who knew she had been a Nara?

Anyways, the Mystical Palm is amazing, the girl thought. I wonder if I can work at the hospital without having to become a medic-nin. Maybe if I'm skilled enough, they'll make an exception for me.

And so, she returned home with a new goal in mind.

As it was, she knew that the hospital wouldn't accept a young child just because she had good chakra control, especially not if she was unwilling to fight on the battlefield. And so, she was stuck coming up with a solution.

Her chakra control and capacity was already much higher than average, but if she couldn't prove herself useful in the medic field, it was possible that she would be forced to become a ninja.

Or even worse, Danzō or Orochimaru could kidnap her.

What if I were to learn the Mystical Palm without being taught? That'd be a Hashirama-level of genius, and they would have no choice but to accept me. And I'm pretty sure Narutopedia mentioned that only few medic-nins were able to use it, so that in itself should be good enough.

It was a wild idea with a high chance of failing, but possibly foolproof, so she was willing to try it out.

What was it they said about the Mystical Palm again? She was pretty sure it was...

"The user applies their hand to the afflicted or wounded part of the body and sends chakra into it, accelerating the body's natural healing abilities. Although its most obvious use is as a way of treating external wounds, it can also be used for internal illnesses. Users must be careful to only use as much chakra as is needed for the specific injury. If too much chakra is sent into the body, this can disrupt the body's circulation, putting it into a comatose state," the silent voice in her head read out quickly.

Good thing she had eidetic memory.

In your face, Sakura.

Well then, how should she start? Maybe it has something to do with regeneration of cells and multiplication of nutrients in the body...

It took her three long years full of frustration and patience to reproduce the Mystical Palm, but she did it. About half of what kept her going was her ability to use the Substitution Jutsu with air.

When she had just about given up after two years of nothing, it was by sheer coincidence that she passed by the Academy when the teacher was instructing his students how to substitute with a log. Like a bullet train, her mind went full speed ahead into thinking about the physics of the technique. With the lack of productivity on the Mystical Palm side, she challenged herself to substitute with air instead.

And she managed it. She took into account the volume of air required, experimented with the area needed for the specified volume of air, considered the possibility of air being substituted as well to make up for lack of volume or mass when a log was used, and the distance between gas molecules. Science, she had thought gravely, is my salvation.

And so, with renewed vigour after her success, she once again continued with endless attempts until the chakra in her hands finally glowed green and healed a paper cut on her finger.

It had hurt a lot. Damned paper cuts.

With that, she headed for the hospital to force her way into their ranks.

But not before having a long talk with her parents first, of course.

Nakashima Tooru didn't like his job, but he didn't dislike it either. He sometimes wished he could work elsewhere, but the hospital was so shorthanded that the Hokage himself had personally asked him to work as a receptionist there.

And so, here he was.

"Good morning, Sir. I'd like to work here at the hospital, please."

His eyebrow twitched.

"Where are your parents, kiddo? Are you lost?"

The girl repeated, "I'd like to work here at the hospital, please. I have knowledge in the medical field."

"Sorry, kid, but just because we lack manpower, it doesn't mean that we'll let anyone work here."

The child smiled.

"I know, but how many of your staff can do this?"

He could only stare with his jaws dropped, dumbfounded, as the girl brought up her hands to do the near-impossible. His hands trembled as they reached to the phone on his desk to dial for the hospital director.

Click. "What is it? Make it quick."

"S-sir? We h-have a... situation..."

She muttered under her breath, "Of course they'd send me to meet the Hokage..."

"Hokage-sama will meet with you now."

Smile, she thought. The appropriate smile has a lot of impact. And timing and choice of words. And tone and clarity of speech. And body language. And well, everything you need in an oral presentation, really.

The door opened to reveal the members in the room.

Damn you, Danzō, she cursed when she saw the Elder. Damn you to hell and back. Go die in a ditch.

"Greetings, Hokage-sama, Danzō-sama, Koharu-sama, Homura-sama, and Hospital Director-san. It is an honour to be here today."

"Ahh, Shiori, I have heard of your ability to use the Mystical Palm Jutsu. I hope you wouldn't mind giving us a demonstration?" The old man smiled gently, prompting her.

"Of course not, Hokage-sama," she said, raising her hands to produce the green chakra. An Anbu walked up to her, swiftly cutting his arm relatively deep with a kunai, and placed it in front of her. Shiori hovered her hands over the cut, and she could feel the surprise and incredulity coming in waves from the Konoha Council as it healed.

She vaguely wondered why they couldn't have just given her a dead fish to revive. If they did, she could have maybe brought it home for dinner that night.

Sarutobi cleared his throat. "Well now, that was certainly beyond amazing, especially for a four-year-old. How did you learn it, Shiori?"

The girl in question replied, "I went to the hospital some time ago, and a doctor there used it on me. I thought it'd be great if I could do it too, so I tried it, and eventually I got it."

She stood there silently as the elders in the room scanned her for lies and more details, but she knew they wouldn't be able to find anything even if they were trained veterans.

Not when she spent her previous life lying. And the hardest lies to figure out were the ones mixed with truth.

They asked her everything they could, but the only answers they could get was, in short, "No, I have no teacher. I dunno, I just did it."

As expected, the Hokage offered, "If you'd like, we could sponsor you an early admission into the Academy. Having you as a ninja of the Leaf would truly be invaluable."

"No thank you, Hokage-sama. I don't wanna be a ninja. I don't like pain and giving pain."

Danzō narrowed his eyes. "Do you know what you are saying, child? As a citizen of Konoha, you should be giving your life for the better of your village. Your talents must and will not be wasted."

She continued to smile. "With all due respect, Danzō-sama, Hokage-sama said 'If you'd like.' And I do apologise, but I have to decline this offer. As I have just mentioned, I do not like pain or giving pain."

"That does not matter. Your talents do not leave room for choice."

"I apologise, but I'm afraid I won't be taking your opinion into consideration, Danzō-sama. They will, sadly, have to be wasted. This is my choice, Hokage-sama."

"Disrespectful child. Do you know who I am?"

"Of course, respectable Shimura Danzō-sama. You were a teammate of Hokage-sama and Koharu-sama, one of the students of Nidaime Senju Tobirama-sama, Warmonger of the Leaf, Elder Councilman of the Konoha Council."

And not to mention, literally, he was also the leader of Root, but she wasn't that suicidal.

"You-"

"Enough, Danzō. She already declined the first time, and it is her wish to remain as a civilian. It is already a blessing that she can use the Mystical Palm Jutsu and wants to work in the hospital. Now then, Shiori, let us discuss the specifics."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

As it turned out, under normal circumstances, Shiori would have been a simple apprentice doing menial tasks like filing and directing patients to the doctors. However, she was considerably not normal and as such, she was allowed to job shadow a senior doctor and occasionally treated patients of her own.

Suffice to say, a lot of her colleagues were not pleased.

Whatever. She could deal with them. Besides, she had other things to do. Like mastering medical ninjutsu within three years, because if Sakura could, why couldn't she?

By the end of three years, Shiori had an office of her own and the diamond-shaped Strength of a Hundred Seal on her forehead was carefully hidden behind her long fringe.

And the only reason why she went through the trouble of getting it was to perform medical ninjutsu without any wasted energy.

She was still not going to be a ninja.

When Katsuki found out that he was born as a very, very distant cousin of Uchiha Sasuke, he knew he was screwed.

So he spent his years training under his parents whenever they were available, and when they died on a mission when he was five, he took whatever he figured would be useful, sealed them in a scroll, and ran away from home.

His made as little noise as he could as he ran to the back gardens of the clan compound. Shuffling behind the hedges, he wiggled his way through the small hole he had dug under the compound walls, refilled the hole with soil, and ran as fast as he could to the one place he betted his future on.

Ichiraku Ramen.

When Shiori was five and still working her way up the ranks, she was only reminded of Ichiraku Ramen when one of her patients snuck in said food.

That night, she called her parents to tell them that she'd be eating out for dinner, then headed for the ramen bar.

Naruto ran into the to his new favourite eatery and sat himself on a stool. "Teuchi-ossan, I'll have a miso ramen with pork cutlets!"

A girl his age took a seat on his left. "I'll have the same, please."

"Me, too!" Came a voice from his other side.

He looked at both of them with bewildered eyes. Was he hallucinating? There was no way other kids would come so close to him, right?

He was still questioning the oddity of it all when the ramen was served.

"Order up!"

Naruto was so startled by the loud voice, he accidentally knocked over the piping hot soup and scalded his arm, and yelped in pain.

The girl beside him turned towards him and said, "Show me your arm."

"Huh?"

"I'm a medic," she explained. "I can heal you."

Naruto was hesitant to believe her, but the pain getting worse, so he placed his arm in front of her.

The girl brought her hands to his injury and they started to glow green with chakra. Within seconds, it was as though his arm had never been scalded in the first place. He breathed, "Woah..."

The boy on his right looked on in surprise, muttering, "I don't think this happened in the anime..."

Anime? What was that?

The girl beside him seemed to understand what he was talking about, though, cuz she told him, "That's because it didn't."

There was knowing glint in both their eyes as they stared at each other. The girl then introduced herself, "I'm Nara Shiori, five years old, and I'm currently an apprentice at the hospital."

"I'm Uchiha Katsuki, five and running away from home." Wait, what?

They looked at him expectantly.

"I-I'm Uzumaki Naruto, five and I'm gonna be the Hokage, dattebayo!"

They nodded. "Good luck."

He blinked. "You... you believe me?"

"'Course we do. It's you, after all," Katsuki said, slurping on his ramen.

"There's someone else who believes in you more than we do, actually," Shiori told him amusedly, "but nevermind that. Katsuki, where are you planning to stay at?"

"Wherever my feet takes me."

Naruto frowned. "Aren't your parents gonna come find you?"

"They're dead," he deadpanned. "And the clan is practically the epitome of bad luck, so I'm staying as far away as possible."

"Oh..." He really didn't know what to say.

"I can't take you in, the Nara clan would be accused of kidnapping if you were found," Shiori looked at Katsuki apologetically.

Naruto's heart thrummed in his chest. "My apartment's kinda small, but you can stay over! I-I mean, if you want to? I'm not forcing you or anything, and I get it if you don't want to stay with me..."

Katsuki grinned. "That'd be great help, Naruto! I'll take you up on your offer, thanks."

"Make sure you do the house chores," Shiori huffed. "Don't trouble the kid."

"Hey! I'm not a kid!"

"Yeah, we're not kids!"

She pinched her nose bridge.

At seven years old, Katsuki miraculously remained hidden from any watchful eyes while cohabiting with Naruto. Before long, news of the Uchiha clan massacre spread like wildfire and Shiori came over for a visit.

"The hospital's really packed right now," she told them as she stuffed chips into her mouth. "The room Sasuke's in is surrounded by Anbu. I think you should stay inside for a while, Katsuki. You still want to become a ninja, right? When's the Hokage's next visit, Naruto? We should get Katsuki's last name changed as soon as we can."

And when the Sarutobi visited Naruto to relief some stress, he hadn't expected to see the young medical prodigy and a forgotten Uchiha. They requested for a name change, pointing out how dangerous it was if the boy were to be found as another survivor, even if he was appointed Anbu guards, and all other facts that Shiori could find thrown into his face. He returned to his office later that day with no choice but to handle the documents himself.

And so, Uchiha Sasuke never had a distant cousin his age, and Katsuki became an orphan no one had ever found until he was seven.

He successfully enrolled into the academy with heavily subsidised fees as an emancipated child, and the remaining was paid by Shiori.

Working at the hospital earned her a lot more than one would expect, especially since they were shorthanded.

In the subsequent years, Naruto and Katsuki would visit her in the hospital if they got injured during spars, and even as they were separated into their own genin teams, they remained tight knit as ever.

And no one had noticed, but Shiori was very protective of her friends.

Katsuki waved his hands in goodbye. "See you guys in a week, then."

He was off on a mission outside the village together with his genin team to the Land of Spring.

"See ya, Katsuki!"

"Be careful not to run into missing-nins or tyrants."

"Hey, it's not like we planned that! And I totally handled it just fine!"

"I'm sure you did."

"Aargh, I can never tell whether it's sarcasm or not with you!"

Katsuki laughed fondly. "I'm off now."

"Did you hear? Apparently that team that was sent out to the Land of Springs was ambushed, and one of their genin was so severely injured, he was admitted to the hospital after informing the Hokage."

A pair of feet paused in their steps.

"Tooru-san."

"Shiori-san?" The man speaking turned around. "What-" He froze upon seeing the look on her face.

"The genin you were talking about just now. Please take me to him."

He was scared.

His other teammates, including his sensei, were already down for the count and he was on the verge of passing out himself.

"You're a tough one, ain't cha? Too bad you won't be up for long!" The enemy cackled, charging towards him. He couldn't find enough strength to dodge the oncoming attack.

Was this the end? No wonder Shiori didn't want to become a ninja...

Even if he managed to somehow avoid the attack, it was still one against ten. His vision blurred and just as the enemy was about to deal the finishing blow, a figured appeared in front of the man and dug their kunai into his throat.

What just-?

The figure disappeared and arms caught him from behind, gently laying him down. "It's okay now," a familiar voice whispered into his ear. "I won't let them hurt you any longer."

And he blacked out.

Substitution with air might as well be an S-ranked jutsu, she thought, but that's not important right now.

"Ha! You think just because you took one down, you can take all of us?"

Indeed. What's more important is getting rid of the threats.

She looked back at her injured friend.

And for hurting him, they will pay...

She gripped the kunai in her hand tightly and used the Substitution Jutsu over and over again, until all of them were unmoving on the ground.

... with their lives.

A/N: It sure got dark, huh. I'll leave the rest up to your imaginations.

This fanfiction is currently only available on Fanfiction, Archive Of Our Own and Wattpad under the user MarchEclipse.