-Prologue-
[Hachiman POV]
"Wow 19:00 accurate to the second, Hachiman are you ready go?"
"Honestly? Yes I have waited too long for this moment, but I don't know how those two will react, I bet they are going to be extra worried."
"Can you blame them?"
"Nah the first time around I was just like them...still I can't believe it...my waiting is finally over"
-SEVEN HOURS EARLIER (12:00)-
"So Zaimokuza, let me get this straight, you spent 20.000 yen"
"25.000"
All Kami in the world I need an answer, why do I, Hikigaya Hachiman, always end up dealing with bullshit?
"25.000 yen to buy a necklace."
"It's an amulet Hachiman!"
Seriously, if you just tell me there is a higher purpose for all of this crap I'm listening to... I'll smile... and creep the hell out of the people around me.
"A stupid necklace to do a séance and now you want me to gather other 2 people?"
"3!"
But truly, there wasn't any spare pair of rotten ears? Really, I'm ready to bargain. I can't take it anymore
"3 people to do it with you because you're too scared to say some bullshit in front of some made in china stone thing."
"That was excessively rude from your part but the basic concept is on spot."
"Siiiiiighhhhhhh why do you always come to me when you want to do this chuuni stuff?"
I said massaging my temples after my eardrums had tried to commit seppuku for the past ten minutes.
"Not today buddies, not today"
I couldn't believe it, just yesterday I had to run a marathon, keep up with the golden boy Hayama Hayato, try to figure what was going on in his Riajuu head (seriously all Riajuu can explode) and have him make peace... or something along those lines with the Fire queen Yumiko Miura.
I needed a vacation for goodness sake! Sure I'm part of the service club, but problematic teenagers of Sobu High, give me at least a week from a request to another... even better don't come at all, figure on your own your OWN DAMN BUSINESS!
To be fair in this precise moment I was pretty tempted to give Zaimokuza the same advice. I mean saying "Deal with it yourself" seems a pretty universal response, able to convey not only the desire to be left alone of the speaker, but also to point out how little the speaker cares about a precise topic.
However there was a problem.
"Zaimokuza if I agree will you get away from the bathroom's door? I have been trapped here for fifteen minutes and lunch break is nearly over."
Yup I couldn't get away from my oversized... acquaintance because he had trapped me while I was taking a piss... wow every time I thought my existence was already pitiful enough my life always managed to reach lower levels.
"If-" *crunch "you solemnly swear to help me, I will let you go"
Responded the fat otaku chewing a sandwich.
*BLRRR-Dammit I was hungry!
"Fine fine, I swear"
I gave up punching the bathroom's door to make that idiot move.
"You have to swear solemnly!"
"What?"
"Something like I, Hikigaya Hachiman, swear on my honor t-"
"UGH! Hell no, its embarrassing and more importantly don't act all mighty, you're trapping me here only because you're too scared to make this request at the club with Yukinoshita and Yuigahama present"
"N-nnnnnooooo, t-that's not true!"
"Sssuuurrrreeeeee"
"Okay, okay, Yukinoshita scares the hell out of me and Yuigahama triggers my social anxiety."
"Everything triggers your social anxiety!"
"Please help me I'll give you all my shinies"
"Even Rayquaza?"
"ALL OF THEM"
"FINE NOW LET ME GO! I'M HUNGRY!"
IF ONLY I HAD REFUSED BACK THEN
-FOUR HOURS EARLIER (15:00)-
"And that's the end for today's lecture, enjoy your clubs."
AAAAAAAAHHHH! Finally! How was it possible to have a subject so boring? Math was simply unbearable, for the past two hours I just pretended to be focused on the lesson while doodling on my notebook stars and anime eyes or playing tic tac toe against myself.
I was a tough opponent, 258 matches and 258 draws, somehow I was always a step forward to me... utterly ridiculous.
"Hikki"
A warm hand suddenly tapped on my shoulder.
Oh God who dared to interrupt my fusion with the desk?
Peach hair, sweet voice, possesses two abundant Yuigahamas, ah it's Yuigahama.
"Yo"
I said in monotone greeting the girl while my cheek was still stuck on the desk.
"Hikki we got club"
She said shaking my shoulder a little more.
"Five minutes Yuigahama, I just finished warming my desk, I'm going to take a quick nap"
I retorted enjoying the warm wooden surface.
It was soooo comfy, maybe today I could skip club and forget about the Zaimokuza issue...Yeah that would be nic-ouch!
'Cheek pinched, cheek pinched!'
I thought snapping my eyes open.
"Mou Hikki, don't be lazy"
Pouted Yuigahama a.k.a. the cheek pincher, shaking my face.
"It huwrts, it huwrts, it huwrts, okay okay you win"
I groaned freeing my face by that lethal jaw and standing up.
"Perfect I'm just grabbing my stuff"
Said the girl toddling to her desk.
Wait she did all this theatre and she wasn't ready?
"What a rude girl"
I muttered between me and me leaving the class behind, taking a few steps aaaannnnnddd reaching my fantastic waiting-for-Yuigahama spot.
Shaking my stiff neck a bit I laid against the wall and tried to enjoy a few moments extra of peace, but after not even ten seconds my clubmate rushed out of the class and reached me with an angry frown on her face.
"She was faster than I expected"
I muttered preparing to face an enraged Yuigahama.
Actually this last statement makes everything sound too ominous, she looked more cute than intimidating and the fact she started tugging my blazer moaning like a child about how I didn't wait for her, stripped every bit of seriousness from this situation.
Really I was making a serious effort not to laugh.. she reminded me of Komachi
"Oh this is bad Oni-chan instincts triggered"
I thought biting my tongue to endure Yuigahama's childish actions.
I needed a getaway.
"Com'on Yuikinoshita's waiting"
"Mou.. okay"
NAILED IT!
Without further delays we made our way towards the service club clubroom, from the scent of tea spreading Throughout the hallways I deduced Yukinoshita had already brewed our three cups to get through the afternoon.
Mmm, I could have used some tea.
"Yukinon yahallo!"
Said Yuigahama in her usual fashion making her way in the clubroom.
"Yuigahama-san, Hikigaya-kun good afternoon"
"Yo"
I greeted Yukinoshita with my perfect, stylish and most importantly short catch phrase.
I was mentally prepared to spend a quiet afternoon but, without even having the time to seat down a wild fire figuratively exploded in the club.
Before my impotent eyes Yuigahama jumped to hug Yukinoshita's shoulder and began to complain.
"Ne Ne Yukinon today Hikki was acting like super weird"
No no no Yukinishita was doing the I'm going to insult you face! 3, 2, 1.
"Incredible was Hikigerma-kun able to do something even weirder than surviving an aerobic environment?"
"Can you please avoid to compare me to a bacteria? It's pretty mean"
I retorted after receiving a hard blow.
"You're right, no bacteria should be insulted like that."
Critical hit!
"urgh at least things are back to normal"
I thought while the interaction between me and Yukinoshita had returned like usual after we had... something?
I couldn't quite describe the weird situation we got caught up into yesterday while she was meditating my injury post marathon.
Just thinking about what happened made my head fuzzy, I could only recollect a few frames of that afternoon: Yukinoshita's face blushing, Yukinishita getting closer to me and then Yuigahama busting open the infirmary door.
" I still wonder what was going to happen"
I thought staring at the two girl exchanging information about how little I cared about math lessons.
For some reason I could have spent the entire afternoon just looking at them, but unfortunately I had a bomb to drop.
"Yukinoshita, Yuigahama we got a request"
"Oh a request" "I'd like to know what's abou-"
Excitement up.
"Is from Zaimokuza"
"...oh" "...oh"
Excitement down.
As I explained what was the request about the two girls had their faces fall into two perfect deadpans, apparently I wasn't the only one that didn't want to deal with this bullshit; however the always righteous Yukinoshita and the happy go lucky Yuigahama didn't have the heart to just say: "The fat otaku can screw himself up".
And instead they just went for a polite.
"if it's just for a bit I can go"
And a contained.
"Given how Yuigahama-san, and Hikigaya-kun agreed I suppose can't just fall back"
Unfortunately a problem still remained.
"Okay now... who do we trick to be the fifth?"
"..."
"..."
Uh this silence was going to make us progress.
"Everybody make a name on three: 1,2,3"
"Isshiki" "Iroha-chan" "Isshiki-san"
Well we got a winner.
Of course the thankless job to fetch that Fox went on me, so I left the service club and went to reach the student council.
For those guys it was quite a calm day, there was only Secretary-chan and Vice-president-kun sorting out some papers while Isshiki was pretending to read some reports.
Why do I say pretending? How can I explain...that evil genius was holding the file upside down.
*knock knock
I softly punched the already open door to get their attention.
Isshiki's face suddenly rose up smiling, but after she saw it was just me her lips fell down and a disappointed frown invaded her face.
"Yeah I'm not Hayama deal with it"
I thought stepping in front of her desk.
"Hello senpai"
"Isshiki"
"What brings you here? Are you here for a request or wait, you might be here only to see me, I appreciate the thoughts, but it didn't really work out try with flowers next time"
"Flowers? I didn't take you for the old school type"
"No woman doesn't appreciate flowers"
"I see... now moving away from your delusion, I'm here for a request from the club"
"If it is about the board game society I already denied the increment of their budget"
Said my kouhai softly hitting the upside down report.
"No I'm not here for that we have a request and we need four people. Counting me, Yuigahama and Yukinoshita we still miss one person."
"So you thought about me? That's totally not appreciated, I'm sorry but I have many reports to read"
Retorted the fox brushing away my request.
Ugh this girl!
"Isshiki you know you have been holding the reports upside down for ten minutes right"
I said with my best skeptical voice.
Hearing my words Irohasu immediately went to find eye contact with me and started to turn the paper keeping a straight face.
"What are you talking about?"
She asked me with devilish innocence.
Really?! She was really playing this game with ME? Okay time to use the heavy weapons.
"Hey isshiki-
"Senpai I can't believe you're threatening me!"
A voice rang in my ears as I was making my way out of the school council room.
"Isshiki I'm not threatening you, I'm just saying that the service club needs your help and that if you were to refuse the rest of the council would discover you pay your lunch everyday with the school budget"
I shrugged.
"I think that's the dictionary definition of threatening"
"Wrong this is blackmailing"
"IT DOESN'T MAKE IT BETTER!"
"See you at the clubroom at 17:45"
"SENPAI!"
-ONE HOUR EARLIER (18:00)-
"So..."
"Mmmm, what Yuigahama"
"Where is Chuuni-kun?"
"I have no idea"
"Making us stay so long at school and then making us wait for so long...why did I agree again?"
"At least you had a choice Yukinoshita-senpai, I basically got kidnapped by senpai."
"Isshiki, I'm not sure if you ever played super Mario but if you know who is princess Peach then you know my... delicate method of conviction is not kidnapping"
"Hikki you're sounding kind of scary"
"Wh-"
"Yuigahama-san, Hikigaya-kun is under the effect of his super villan delusion let him enjoy himself a bit more with this facade"
"Hey"
"Ah I see"
"No you don't see a thing Yuigahama!"
"Thinking about it, this sound like a thing Senpai would do"
"...not you too Isshiki"
I groaned exaspereated while Yukinoshita had seen through my clever act.
This situation couldn't get worse.
"Zaimpkuza Yoshiteru is here!"
Shouted...well he kind of introduced himself so I'm going to skip, opening the club's sliding door.
LMAO the situation just got worse...karma you bitch.
"You're noisy! And late!"
I greeted the silver haired Otaku squaring the various bags he was carrying with himself.
And now what the hell did he want to do with all that stuff?
"I'm sorry Hachiman, but I needed to prepare everything and UGH! Why the other three are girls"
Gasped surprised Zaimokuza pointing his trembling index to Yukinoshita, Yuigahama and Isshiki.
"Did you want three people? I got you three people deal with it"
I retorted annoyed this seance had yet to start and my balls were already falling, I truly wanted to just get home.
"Yes, b-but I expected you to ask to Totsuka-han"
"I couldn't bother Totsuka for something this stupid"
"So you bother me Senpai?!"
"Yes it's kind how our relationship works, you bother, me I bother you...ah before I forget it Zaimokuza Isshiki, Isshiki Zaimokuza"
"N-nice to meet you"
"yeeeeeaaahhhh Zaimotura-senpai"
"eh it's Zaimokuza Isshiki-san"
"Exactly what I said"
"Ehm no in realit-"
"Zaimokuza none cares, let's get over this whole thing, take out your necklace thing."
"Amulet!"
"Same thing"
"Fine"
Responded the Otaku drawing from his pocket a weird pendant.
It was a piece of amber shaped like a disk with the size of my palm, it had inside a weird green gem not bigger than a nail and it was kind of ugly like way too kitsch for anybody in this world.
"..."
"What?"
"Zaimokuza do I have to say you threw away your money? Or you're able to realize it yourself?"
"Shut up! We are going to see who threw away money when the séance is over"
"Fine let's make it quick"
I said grabbing one of the bags Zaimokuza was holding.
Ugh they weighted a ton what was inside?
"Uh Zaimokuza-san what's inside all those bags?"
Asked Yukinoshita after admiring my pained expression.
"Uh some scrolls, candles, a bag of chips, other stuff and the instruction on how to use the amulet"
"Etto that's weird"
Commented Yuigahama shooting though Zaimokuza's heart.
"Also what's with this fragrance? Dawning tsudere? What is it?"
Asked Isshiki studying the content of the bag I was hoding.
"Nothing, nothing! That's just something I bought at the combini store coming here!"
Hurried the fat otaku snatching the candle from the fox.
Uhhh the nerdy level of this guy always left me astonished... but now I wanted to know how the dawning tsundere was like.
"Okay Zaimokuza set what you have to and...let's do this thing"
"YES!"
During the following twenty minutes, Zaimokuza began to draw weird glyphs on the floor with a chalk and to scatter across the room various scrolls.
"He must have bought then in some souvenir shop"
I thought suppressing a yawn.
Other ten minutes and Zaimokuza called the girls to place themselves around a desk where he put on the amulet.
"Hachiman stand on the desk and hold the amulet"
"uh like this? Wow this necklace is heavy"
I said standing on the desk while watching Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, and isshiki, from above two necklines out of three gave pretty neat of a valley... the other one flat land.
"Yes perfect, now I lit all the candles and we can start"
"Try not to set everything on fire"
"Hachiman how little faith do you have in...shit! bad fire bad fire! NOTHING HAPPENED everything was under control"
"Sure...by the way what are you going to do? I get Yukinoshita, Yuigahama and Isshiki have to form this circle around me and the desk, I'll hold this amulet or whatever, but you? why are you standing close to the window?"
"Hachiman such a stupid question, I'm going to film everything and become viral!"
Joyed Zaimokuza taking out from nowhere a digital camera and putting hit on the window sill.
"...dha I'm too lazy to get angry, just do whatever floats your boat "
I grunted as he went to turn off the light of the clubroom.
*click
Suddenly the only light left in the room was the one produced by the many candles Zaimokuza add scattered all over the place. The white glyphs on the floor glittered of orange reflecting the gleam of the fire and for a moment all this stupid situation actually seemed the real deal.
"Okay now what do we do?"
I asked letting the amulet hang down from my hand.
"Hmn standing to the manual that I printed from internet"
"Wait from interne-"
"The girls need to repeat together "Spirits of past and present heed our call""
"Cringe"
"Hey google said it not me"
"yeah yeah and I? What do I have to do?"
"Stand there until...ahahaha lol you have fallen for this Ads now your Pc is fucked"
Said Zaimokuza reading the manual he found online until his voice died in his throat.
" Eh Zaimokuza what was that?"
I asked vaguely concerned since the otaku's face had become, red, scarlet, crimson and now was getting kind of purple.
"SON OF A BITCH!"
Before I or any of the girls around me understood what was going on, Zaimokuza charged out of the classroom way faster than any person with his physique could.
Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Isshiki and I were left dumbstuck and none of us even moved until Yukinoshita gathered herself, went to turn on the lights and fetched the manual Zaimokuza was reading two minutes ago.
"Ritual... credit card... you have fallen for this Ads Oh Zaimokuza-san fell for an idiotic commercial and dried up his own credit card"
Said the ice queen totally unfazed.
"oh so we can go home?"
I asked jumping down from the desk and putting the amulet in my pocket.
"Hikki the clubroom is a mess how can you go home now?"
"We can have Zaimokuza clean it tomorrow, besides Isshiki is already trying to sneak away"
I said pointing at my foxy kouhai who was just trying to slip through the club door.
"AH! A thing just happened I can't remain BYE!"
Screamed Irohasu leaving us the three poor idiots alone in the clubroom filled with scrolls on the floor and still lit candles.
"I'm going to grab a mop"
I said using this carefully crafted excuse to leave like Isshiki did.
Unfortunately two hands grabbed my shoulder before my masterplan worked out.
"Hikigaya-kun" "Hikki"
'Scary scary these two were scary'
"You are not planning to ditch us right?" "That would be pretty mean Hikki"
Scray scary scary scary.
"No I? What?"
"..." "..."
Please say something you two!
"..." "..."
"Yes... I humbly apologize"
"Good now we are going to take something to clean with and..." " you are going to wait for us"
"Yukinoshita, Yuigahama please don't take it personally but you're scary, realllllllyyyyy scary"
Left alone after the pair of wicked witches moved away to grab some cleaning tools I checked my smartphone.
18:59
"God it's so late Komachi is going to kill me"
I muttered putting the phone back in the pocket.
Yet it couldn't quite fit because all the useful space was occupied by Zaimokuza's stupid amulet.
"This disk is so damn heavy, where the hell did he buy this thing anyway?"
I said extracting the amber disk before starting to study it.
Mph this amulet was really a weird piece of jewelry, not because how ugly it was, but because I couldn't get my head around how that green stone had been placed in the middle of all the amber.
"It must be fake as fuck, Zaimokuza got scammed...twice"
I chuckled trying to push back in the pocket the amulet...
Key-word trying, the amulet suddenly slipped from my hand and crushed on the floor.
Golden shards flew all over the place and before I knew it a green flash enveloped me.
BBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM
19:00
[Yui POV]
BBBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM
When I first the explosion I didn't understand immediately what happened, I just knew a green light had engulfed the hallways. Yukinon looked as confused as me, however the moment she realized where the explosion came form she dropped all the mobs in her hand and began running like a madwoman towards the clubroom.
"Hikki"
I whispered while a terrifying truth busted in my mind.
Like Yukinon did, I threw away everything I had in my arms and rushed after my friend. We ran through the hallway faster than we ever run before, I could feel my heart ready to explode, still I didn't care I had to see Hikki I had to see he was okay.
He had to be okay, he had to be okay.
"HIKKI"
I screamed sprinting in front of Yukinon and entering in the clubroom.
Everything seemed untouched, desks, scrolls, candles everything was just like we had left them, but Hikki was laying on the ground with his face covered in cinders.
I...I froze every single muscle of my body seemed to avoid my orders, I wanted to rush on his side check if he was okay, but I couldn't, I just couldn't move.
"ah.."
With an almost strangled lament Yukinon dashed past me and reached Hikki.
She kneeled before him moved her hand to check his pulse and..
"Ugh! Fucking Zaimokuza that thing was a fire cracker"
A pained groan filled the room.
Suddenly my heart returned to beat and all the tension I had on myself flowed away like a bucket of icy water.
"Hikki are you okay?"
I asked reaching him and Yukinon.
"Yeah yeah that damn necklace was supposed to be some magic trick. I dropped it and it flashbanged me, ah I see stars all over the place."
Complained Hikki scratching his eyes.
"Hey weren't you two supposed to bring a mop or two, can't clean this mess bare handed."
"Y-yes... I think we can't Hikigaya-kun"
Muttered Yukinon still over worried by that flash.
"Don't tell me you two were planning to leave me alone here to clean"
Chuckled him trying to calm down the over tense situation.
"Mou Hikki we aren't like you"
I said keeping his game up until Yukinon calmed down and the three of us began cleaning together.
[Hachiman POV]
After the clubroom had been tidied up I and the two young ladies came out from the school, the air was chilly, but I had my trusty coat with me so it wasn't a problem...damn how much I missed this coat.
"Bye bye Hikki see you tomorrow" "Good night Hikigaya-kun"
Said Yuigahama and Yukinoshita as they headed towards their respective homes.
"Yeah... Bye"
I responded weakly unable to say I wanted to spend more time with them.
...Uh for the first time in centuries I was worried about time...wow my waiting was seriously over.
"So how did it go?"
Asked a blonde haired woman hidden in the shadows of the school.
"Fine, it was way less triumphant than I had imagined, but after having waited two thousand years I take what I get"
"Do you know that all your enemies are going to search you right? The circle has closed your immortality is going to fade away, and soon you won't even be able to wield your bow."
"Always so dramatic Bellona, you and I weren't nominated as war Gods because we were push overs"
"Say what you want but you know how many people from how many pantheons want your head"
"They didn't make it in a thousand year, now that I'm going to lose my immortality I don't see why they would even bother, my life span is the blink of an eye for them"
"Better safe than sorry, only because you aren't a God anymore it doesn't mean you're set free from all that bullshit... well until my circle doesn't end and the young me I get shoot 2100 years ago...see you around Hikio"
"See ya Yumiko"
-TWO THOUSAND YEARS AGO-
[HACHIMAN POV]
"What the fu-
Hello there CacciaFulmini here, just posting the first bit of a story that came out from my mind after reading a post on Ask reddit. Hope to have capted your interest.
I have yet to decide more parring but 8 out of 10 it will be only an 8manXYumiko
GODS SHEETS
Name: Hikigaya Hachiman
Alias: Hachiman of the eight banners
Age: 2017
Occupation: God of war and agricolture.
Divine weapon: ?
Name: Miura Yumiko
Alias: Bellona
Age: 2117
Occupation Goddes of war
Divine weapon: ?