I'm so excited about this chapter! It almost feels like I'm starting a new story but not quite since I'm using a lot of the same ideas, which was intended when I decided to make two endings. I've been planning how each chapter I wrote for the J/H ending would be changed fora J/P ending. I'm also watching the show again on Netflix and how I love Jackie in this. She is honestly hilarious and her growth in the show is probably one of my favorite character development to watch (Hyde is second). Anyway here is a version of the lean on me chapter that triggers a change in the dynamic of Jackie and Peter to help them move from friends to more. Hope you like and plz review.

Lean on me

Sunday, December 2, 1979. In Peter's apartment above Abbot's bar.

Hearing Steven telling her how much he loves her and how sorry he is; it's everything she's wanted to hear from the moment the stripper walked into their lives. But now she can't. She made a choice and is a legally married woman.

"Do you love him?" The question startles her because… in a way she does. But, she knows what Steven is asking and she can't bear to look at him and try to explain so she looks to the ground and nods.

"No, look at me. Look into my eyes and tell me if you love him like you love me. I know you still do because what we had can't be forgotten in a few months and if you didn't love me you wouldn't be this worked up."

She knows he's right, but she doesn't want that kind of love. The kind that shakes and brightens your world only to rare it apart. But then she feels his finger under her chin, making her raise her eyes to meet his blue ones. "Tell me doll," he whispers. She feels like crying because he looks so sincere, so real and honest, and then he's slowly getting closer, with an expression so tender and caring that she can't move or talk. She just stares at his beautiful eyes until she feels his lips on hers. It's the sweetest, most wonderful kiss, and she can feel his love and knows he means it and the feeling of his tongue entering her mouth shreds the last of her defenses to pieces. So she kisses him back and gives into the joy of his lips and his body as his arms envelop her and pull her close. It's heaven and love and it might mean he's ready for a real relationship. He's ready to trust her.

Trust… Trust! Peter! She pushes away and covers her mouth with her hand. What have I done?

"I can't do this. Peter and I… we care about each other."

"Care? Doll, that's not enough. I'm not perfect. I've been a piece of shit since the ultimatums and Chicago. I know that, but I also know I can give you what you need. Jackie, you need love. You crave it and fight for it and you deserve it... that fairytale once in a lifetime kind of love that you've always spoken about."

She shakes her head. Why couldn't he say this before? Why didn't he understand that all the antics and demands and attitude were me begging for love? Why couldn't he talk to me about it back then? Peter did and understood that I was just so lonely and didn't judge me for sleeping with him or acting like a crazy demanding bitch half the time. Just listened and tried to help me be better. I can't betray him and embarrass him, not today, not like this. "Peter and I may have met when we were heartbroken, but in a short time we've built enough for me to never ever want him hurt. He trusts me and I trust him. That's a place you and I never truly got to. I don't think we ever could."

"Yes, we can. Give us one more chance... Doll, we deserve one more chance… me and you… you're the one, Jackie. You're the love of my life"

"It's not love!" She steps even further from him. "You feel lonely without Samantha and guilty because Michael told you."

"You're wrong. Samantha wanted to stay with me after her husband showed up, but I kicked her to the curve. I couldn't care less where she is or what she's doing. And if I just felt guilty I would have tried to say sorry and given up when Red, Donna, Peter and half this bar got in the way. I wouldn't have tried this hard. But I love you. You're my chick, the only one for me."

And the nurse and the biker and the stripper were what? Figments of my imagination. She shakes her head knowing that's not the case. They were real, the very real women he used to punish her for his inability to share his heart and to trust, for her demands and mistakes, for all the bad even when she didn't really cause the pain and he just deduced wrongly. When things get hard he always makes her the enemy and the prize to pay when that happens is just too high. This doesn't work.

"You know… in therapy, I've learned that you can't really love someone properly until you learn to love yourself… to understand your best and worst qualities and still value who you are and what you have to offer and openly share it with another person. You and I… we were never taught how to do any of that… how could we not question our worth or guard our hearts when the people that should have loved us most acted like we didn't matter at all. Steven… even if I was the one for you and you the one for me... sometimes for two messed up people... love isn't enough and it just doesn't work."

"You don't mean that."

"I do."

"You can't. Don't make the same mistakes as me. Don't commit to something you can't take back."

"It's too late," she says with a sigh.

"Please, Jackie."

Her head might explode. He doesn't understand that when she says too late she means legally too late. I just have to say it.

"Peter and I applied for the marriage license the day after you all saw us have that argument in his Jeep and... the day the stripper's husband showed up…after I left the basement I... I asked him and the next morning we took Donna and Zilla with us, went to the justice of the peace, and signed the papers."

"What?" She walks to a small desk in a corner and her hands shake as she pulls out the envelope with their marriage certificate. She steels herself and nothing about her flinches as she hands the papers to Hyde. He doesn't bother to read them, just looks at her like his world is collapsing. "Why?"

"I knew you'd try to get to me and-"

"You're giving me what I deserve," he says sadly.

"I didn't do it to hurt you."

"But you are! Why else would you do this that day? Why, if not to hurt me!"

"To protect myself! Because with your wife gone-"

"She wasn't my wife!"

"But we thought she was! I knew you would try to rope me back in and I couldn't risk it. I have a chance to have a family and... if I give that up for you… I won't survive the next time you throw us away."

"I wouldn't -

"It doesn't matter anymore! The papers are signed and dated. Today is just a party, I am already married and Peter and I are getting custody of Maddy. She'll be our daughter and that's it. That's my family." Yes. He's my best friend and I trust him like no one else, not even Donna. And Maddy has healed my heart in ways that I didn't know possible. They're my family now and I don't betray family.

"You can annul it. It's only been a few days," he whispers.

I won't make Peter look like a fool today or endanger Maddy's future. She will not end up in some orphanage or temporary home waiting to wait and see what happens. Peter and I are keeping her and we're moving to Virginia and getting a fresh start. This is the way, my choice, my way. I need to do this. She shakes her head. "I understand if you don't stay. I'm sorry."

"No."

"Steven… if you meant what you said. If you have ever loved me or just cared about me in any way then let this go. Let me do what I need." She walks to get the memento box she'd stashed here a couple weeks ago.

****** Flashback ******

They sit by the lake quietly. She turns to look at him. He has a beer in hand and the look in his eyes is a mix of sadness and rage. It doesn't really suit the caring easy going guy she's been friends with for the past few weeks. That bitch, if she ever meets her she'll kick her ass so bad that what she once did to Laurie will look like child's play.

"You're thinking too loudly," Peter says bitterly. "Stop staring at me and remember the rules."

"I don't pity you!"

"Then what are you feeling about me? Because everything about you since I told you screams pity. Poor Peter, his ex walks back into his apartment and he listens to her and sleeps with her only to wake up to an 'I'm sorry, I can't do this,' note in the morning. She probably went home to screw my brother and laugh about having both us by the balls."

"Maybe she did."

He looks at her shocked. "What do you want me to say? I can't say sorry because we made the rules. I can't say I want to kick her ass because you say it's not worth it. Why did you ask me to meet you here and bring my Steven box anyway?"

He shrugs. "You told me breaking and throwing away all your Kelso crap helped you get over it." She nods. He stands and waves for her to follow him. They get to the jeep and he opens the back. There are three boxes in there.

"Monica stuff?"

"Everything I could find in my apartment."

"There's a lot."

"Seven years worth. Wanna break it?" he asks, pulling out a bat.

She smiles and nods. "I have an idea." She gets him to start a fire and soon enough they are breaking trinkets, burning prom and birthday party pictures and recital programs, and drinking way too much beer.

"So, wanna do your Steven box?" She nods and they head to her car. He pulls the box out of her trunk and brings it by the fire.

They drink and she opens it and on the top is the T-shirt. She takes it and… "I can't." She pulls the T-shirt to her chest like a treasure.

"Tiny, I'm -"

"Don't you... dare say sorry. I just can't let it go yet."

"Okay." He puts an arm around her and gives her a beer. They stay the night on sleeping bags. The next morning she shoves the Steven box in one of his closets.

****** End Flashback ******

She pulls out the little troll she once gave him. "I gave you this, daydreaming you would turn into this big executive and we'd live in a mansion… that you'd get me a unicorn or at least horse with a fake horn and we'd ride into the sunset like a knight and his lady," she says and tries to smile. She wraps his hand around the toy, kisses his knuckles, then steps away. "I know it was silly, but keep it and remember how much I believed in you. I still believe you're so much more than you pretend to be. Steven I want you to be my friend. Let me go but be my friend and let me be yours."

"How? How can I ever-" he swallows the lump in his throat.

"Run the store, stop getting wasted, avoid jail cells. Find something that gives you purpose and learn to love yourself. Be the man I've always thought you're meant to be."

"What if I'm meant to be the man that loves you?"

She shakes her head in denial, this hurts so much. She didn't know he could still cause her so much pain, but it doesn't change things. She does her best to keep her zen as she goes to the door and calls Donna. "Please Steven." You need to leave. Please go and don't make this harder than it is. He puts the papers she gave him on the table. Donna and Kitty walk in.

"I know I didn't do it right, but I loved you... It scared the shit out of me and that made me fuck everything up, but I've always loved you... always will."

"You should leave," Jackie says with a choked voice. Her heart is breaking yet again, but she can't show him. She can't crumble, not yet.

She sees Mrs. Forman looking between them with sadness and then she takes his hand gently, like a mother does a hurt little boy. "Come on, honey."

The moment he leaves Jackie can't hold it anymore. She lets out a strangled sob. Why? Why did he have to show up now? Why couldn't he love me before? Why? She feels Donna arm around her. She can faintly hear her friend saying that it will be okay, but mostly she hears her own wails and it's like her ears are buzzing. Donna makes her sit and she notices the mirror on the center table. Somehow that brings back the reality of today. It's her wedding day! She's supposed to be perfect. "Oh God, my makeup. I… I just..." The tears keep rolling. "That's the hardest thing I've ever done."

"It's gonna be okay."

Jackie nods. "I wish… Michael had never told… this hurt him and I… I don't want him to go off the deep end... again… I just... I'm sorry."

"Sush… Mrs. Forman has him and Eric won't let him run off again. Don't worry, midget." They hold on for a little longer then Donna separates from her. "Well Mrs. Mercer, I'm no make-up expert, but I can help you clean up and then you can redo your face until it's perfect." Jackie nods and breathes deeply. "Let's fix you up and bring you to your new family, yeah?"

"Yeah." Get it together Burkhard. You did it. For the first time in your life, you didn't forgive the boy who cheated. And the Formans and W.B. will take care of him. He's going to be okay. Now stand your ground and finish what you started.

Abbott's bar stage area.

Peter Mercer has never been considered an indecisive guy. Quite the opposite. When his father taught him to play the guitar and told him he could be one of the best, he began to practice daily and kept it up even after dad died and he got to kick ass with the band. When he was five he met a girl who was so beautiful she couldn't be real and she sang like an angel so he decided to love her. He became her friend and then pursued her in middle school and was true to her all through high school and after. He was all in. When he decided he had to help his brother, he turned his life upside down and enlisted. It was only after two of the people he loved most betrayed him that he lost that ability to just go for it.

Now he second guesses everything and being dressed in a suit pretending to wait for his bride that he actually already married is all too strange. And seeing Mrs Forman lead Hyde downstairs, like he was a lost boy, and passing them with her begging him to leave it alone doesn't help. Did he get to talk to tiny? Is she okay? Am I doing the right thing? What is the right thing anyway? Call this off, get an annulment and leave Maddy hanging and Jackie vulnerable to her ex? Would he pull a Monica and use her only to yank the rug from under her right after? Or is he for real and ready to pull his head out of his ass? Would Jackie want that or is she better off without him?

Then Leah is there telling him to get ready. She's so damn excited! And his uncle is pulling him aside and asking how he's doing and all he can do is squeak out a simple "fine". It makes old Henry laugh as he walks away murmuring something about a bat shit crazy kid that might faint. Then she's there and damn if this tiny girl isn't a beautiful bride. Then it's all so fast.

"Do you, Peter Joseph Mercer, take Jackelyn, as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Do you, Jackelyn B. Burkhart, take Peter to be your legal wedded husband?"

"I do."

Rings are exchanged and soon, "by the power vested in me by the state of Wisconsin I declare you husband and wife."

Then they kiss and it's short but sweet and damn confusing and she blushes. Then they're dancing and smiling for the camera. But he knows something is wrong. Jackie is there but not really. She may smile her pretty smile but he can tell whatever happened while Hyde was upstairs rattled her.

Wisconsin Dells Honeymoon Suite.

She distracted him with shallow talk all the way here. Weren't the flowers really beautiful? And Zilla and Donna outdid themselves in their speeches. Wasn't Maddy the most gorgeous little girl ever? And didn't her wedding dress fit amazing on her? How fitting was it for Zilla and Leah to have 'Dream On' play for their first dance followed by 'I will survive'? Did he mind disco dancing while sober? He indulged her, agreed with most of everything because it was a nice modest wedding and argued against the travesty of having to disco dance in front of his family and friends. But they both knew eventually they'd have to talk.

Now they are both in pajamas looking at the sun setting over the lake from their window. The mix of oranges, pinks and purples contrasts nicely against the snow. It's the perfect view for a newlywed couple, except newlyweds would be busy with other things that don't involve looking out the window.

"I'll take the couch," he says. She nods. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

"Tiny, I saw Hyde leaving. Wanna tell me what happened?"

She sits on the four-post bed pulling her knees into her body. "He didn't want me to marry you." She sighs. "He told me he loves me."

He looks at her and gives her more time, but eventually has to say it. "We could still annul this... if that's what you want. We rushed into this and maybe if we talk to the social worker."

She shakes her head no. "I meant what I said before and now… I love Maddy. We're not taking any chances."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- Flashback -x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

He walks into the Forman basement, comes close to the couch and looks straight at Jackie. He's had a horrible couple of weeks and is so tired and just plain pissed off. "We need to talk."

She bites her lip. "I know. I- Can we go outside?" She looks at him with her big eyes and he feels his anger slightly lessen. So, he nods and they exit using the side door.

They get in the Jeep and he can't hold back anymore. "So I'm your fiancé? What the hell Jackie!"

"I'm -"

"You what! Were gonna inform me for our twentieth anniversary after raising my nice without my consent! What the hell! Why would you say that!"

"I don't know! Maybe it was seeing you all slumped and defeated over your brother and not caring that you have a niece out there. Maybe it was Leah asking me to check on a baby that's been abandoned like I was! Or seeing that the place she's at looks dull and sterile like a lonely hospital. I don't know! I just had to get to that baby and save her because… because I couldn't even manage to have mine born!" She is crying full force and now he feels like shit.

"Jackie... I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry I just… I know she's not mine and… oh God I lied to a nun to see a baby that I'm not even related to! I'm nuts! I'm the devil!"

"No, you just wanted to help and I'm an asshole," Peter sighs. "You're right that I forgot about the baby and then didn't really care and I'm sorry. It's a good thing you found her. I was just blindsided by the phone call from the social worker. And I think I'm starting to get paranoid about when next shoe is gonna drop." He hugs her and she talks against his shirt.

"They kept saying I couldn't see her since I wasn't family. And one of the workers is really nice and might have suggested that an uncle's 'friend' had no rights whatsoever but a fiancé could perhaps work and I just went with it… I just…"

He rubs her back slowly. "But you did this also because of the baby you lost, didn't you?" She nods into his neck. "It wasn't your fault. Jackie, I'm not a doctor but I'm sure you didn't do anything on purpose to lose it. You know you didn't cause that right?"

"I know… I just… my baby would be about a month older than her and… maybe it's not my fault but I should have it and I don't. And little Madeleine, she didn't do anything wrong and should have parents but she doesn't... and then when I met her… she's so beautiful... and she let me hold her and feed her and put her little hands in my hair and… I think I fell in love. Oh God, I'm so stupid! I probably ruined your chances to help her with my lie." She manages to sob even harder. "I do make life crap."

"No you don't," he says. "Shush…. it's okay we'll find a way to help and get her out of there, okay?"

They separate and her hands move to her face to clean her own tears. "How? I made an even bigger mess of things? I should have just waited until you were done in the hospital and then dragged you there with me."

"Or I should have listened to you when you tried to talk to me instead of telling you that I only cared about if and when he would recover and you were free to deal with that bitch's baby any way you pleased. It doesn't matter anymore, we're here and we'll figure something, okay?"

"Okay… but how are we going to talk to them and get her out of there without my lie coming up?"

"We'll just go there tomorrow and I'll meet her and if we need to... wanna get married?" Her eyes go big.

"What?"

"It wouldn't be real like… I won't demand anything… we just keep the story you told and get her out and then once the dust settles we'll get a divorce and see what's best for everyone then. The social worker told me they'd be forms to fill to make sure we'd be good to keep her but she saw no immediate problems. And I… well would they give a baby to a single guy who's leaving the state in a couple of months to serve in a Virginia base?"

"Ummm... probably not. We'd still have to live together if we're gonna take care of her and I'll probably have to go to Virginia with you, even if we're not really together."

"Right... yeah." He nods. "It's not so bad, right? We get along and have fun and it's not like either of us has this amazing prospects for love."

She giggles. "I suppose. Not my dream proposal but yes, I'll marry you."

"You think we should try and..."

She smiles. "Why not?"

He turns to her and kisses her briefly.

"Okay, it's too soon for me. I feel like it was yesterday that I slept with Monica and… I can't do this."

"Sorry. If it helps, I'm not there either. I just… maybe with time?"

"Yeah. Maybe. Look we'll go tomorrow and I'll meet her and we'll decide if we still want to keep the lie after. Fair?"

"Fair. Thanks for listening to me and my crazy reasons."

"Hey we may not make each other's heart race yet but we're friends and it's my family you're saving. It's me that should say thanks."

"That's cool."

"I'll see you at the bar tonight and we'll figure tomorrow's trip?"

"Yeah."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- End Flashback -x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Alright then. Are you gonna be okay?"

She shrugs. "It's just… I keep wondering... Why couldn't he say it before? Why is it that every time he says it, it's tainted? First, after the nurse thing fell apart on him. Now after his drunken marriage blew up in his face. Why can't he say he loves me because he wants to?"

"I don't know. Makes it hard to believe it's true."

"But it is. He loves me. I could feel it."

"Then maybe we should tell him… see if-"

"No." She moves and sits next to him, then takes one of his hands and looks at him. "Peter, do you remember what I asked you when I came to you that day… after the husband showed up in the basement? What you promised me?"

"You asked me to marry you right away so that you wouldn't fall for it and get hurt again. And I promised I'd make sure that what happened to me with Monica wouldn't happen to you."

She nods. "Can you keep helping me?"

He smiles at her. "Yeah."

She kisses his cheek and moves to the bed. He turns off the light and gets comfortable on the couch.

"Wanna play twenty questions?"

He shakes his head with a laugh. "What are we thirteen?"

"Whatever. Now, who's your favorite Partridge family member?"

"Tiny, that show has been over for like five years."

"So? You still watched it."

"No I didn't!"

"Oh please! Who is your favorite? Mine is Keith."

"Of course it is," he says sarcastically.

"Don't be a jerk."

"Fine, Laurie. She was hot."

They spend about an hour on twenty questions and then go to sleep. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears her soft sniffles.

"Jackie?" He gets up and walks toward the bed.

"I'm… fine."

He sits next to her and then she launches into his arms. "Hush… it's okay. I got ya. It's gonna be okay."

Once her tears dry he tries to put distance, but she holds on. "Stay."

"Okay." He lays next to her and she places her head on his shoulder.

"Thank you."

"Wanna play twenty questions?"

"Sure."

"I'm gonna regret this. What's your favorite accessory?"

"Oh that's a hard one!"

Hope you liked! I have 8 chapters outlined for this and then done with the alternate end. Look forward to feedback.

LREAwrites