Vampire Knight

Phoenix Down – Zero

Disclaimer: Really? No Own.

Summary: His name was Zero Kiryu, but it hadn't always been that. He'd had another name once, Before – another life. But the Now was all that mattered in the end, right? What would have happened had Zero known what was going to happen from the beginning? What would have changed and what would have remained the same? Would he have saved his parents? And what about Ichiru? How would their relationship have changed? Would he still have ended up loving Yuuki? And would his hatred for vapires have changed at all? Reincarnation. Not really (or at all) SI, as Zero is still Zero – just with slightly different motivations and opinions due to circumstances and experiences. SLASH. YAOI.

This all began with me wanting to see what would have happened had Zero possessed the knowledge of what was going to happen in the future. In the beginning I thought about making him a time traveller, coming back to his child body to change the past and all that, but then I got stuck in a SI phase and thought, what the hell, why not?

Thus after reading about SI ending up as Yuuki and other characters I decided to try and see what would happen if I put one in Zero' skin. It will still be him (as I find him perfect as he is, so why change him?) only with a few more memories at his disposal and new knowledge. It will not change him completely. In fact, mostly it will only come up at the beginning and when he ponders on knowledge he should not have otherwise, but for the rest he will be completely Zero, the SI thing is only an excuse to give him that knowledge and it will be that, mostly, that will change his behaviour a little in some cases, not him being another person. Oh and this will be SLASH/YAOI of course.

One last thing, I started this story with the intention of it being ZeroxKaname centric but...well, Zero dragged me away forcibly, got a hold of Ichiru and now would not let him go, so... well, who knows how it will end up? I'm open to everything so It's up to you really. And Zero. Let's us never forget Zero. There's just no telling what the stubborn arse will do. He could even turn this fic completely on its head and end up with Aidou, Kain, Ichijou or maybe even Shiki or Kaito (no Yuuki, however. She will not be bashed or anything, but she will only ever end up as a sister to him and to Kaname as well if this goes as planned. Maybe there is space to arrange something more but in that case it'll be only related to heirs and because I really fucking love Ren and Ai is cute as well I guess). Right at this moment, however, the intention is for this to end up KanamexZero.

Maybe I'll insert some flirting here and there with someone but nothing too much, or with too many – I don't see it being Zero's way after all, but he's still a teenage boy and will be at least slightly lighter in this fic than in canon. And not in love with Yuuki, of course, that also helps. I guess, with how twisted Vampire knight really is in those things, I could still have Zero and Kaname have something with Yuuki and Ichiru while being the real couple. In short, anything is possible. Give me your opinion maybe and I can perhaps insert some one-sided crushes or mutual likes with someone (perhaps a past story in the case of Kaito?) but nothing too important, a way to enforce a closer bond, maybe.

A/N: Only the first chapter (or the prologue really) is in first person.

Well then, what else is there to say but R&R? I'll leave you to it, hope you'll enjoy!

Oh and this work is cross-posted at A03.

CO– VK –OD

CH1: Prologue

And then I died.

Death – A strange place to start a story, I know, but it really was the origin of all that happened in my life, strange as it sounds.

I don't remember exactly how it happened – there is little I remember about 'the Before' at all, in fact.

Only snow. The never-ending snow falling around me.

I did not feel the cold, only shocking numbness as I lay on the soft, white carpet, staring up at the black sky tinged with white.

Then, the Darkness came over me, distant shouts failing to reach my ears.

This is really all there is to say about Before.

I think I was a girl back then, or maybe a boy – It really is not too clear, nor too important in truth – with an average family and an average life. It hardly matters anymore.

Now, I'm as far from average there can be, something which I still don't know it's a good thing or not.

It certainly did not seem so for a long time.

l

O

l

The first thing I remember after Death, is The Darkness.

An all-encompassing darkness which seemed to never end and enclosed everything into it, including my Self.

It was warm and peaceful, safe, in a hazy and not-really-conscious way.

It took me a long while to realize I was not part of the Darkness, but in fact had a distinct consciousness from it.

It took me even longer to realize that my presence was not whole at all but made up of two halves instead – If that even made any sense.

Later then, I realized the other halve had an entirely distinct consciousness from my own.

There was another presence beside my own. A presence I now realized had been there since the very beginning, but I'd simply assumed was a part of me. I could swear at points I could still feel as if it were mine. Yet, it was not so.

We were not one, but two.

Still, I could feel a bond between us that almost made that notion appear ridiculous.

Of course we were one. We were madeto be one.

I had yet to be conscious of having a body then, there were no physical boundaries at all it seemed, only us and our two consciousnesses uniting into a single presence.

We often huddled together, sticking so close, becoming one or separating once more as we wished it. There were no confines at all between One and the Other.

It was beautiful, a communion so great nothing could compare, a communion of souls and life itself. It felt like nothing could divide us back then.

And then the time came that we became physical entities, gaining physical bodies and the awareness of being permanently distinct; and suddenly our souls felt constricted, halved, missing, and they longed to reunite, to become one once more.

As this process took place, I could feel the tiny body of the presence that was once I, press against the side of my own slowly forming body – almost trying to be reabsorbed once again, to become one as we once were.

I was the same, trying to enclose the other presence completely, feeling the hole inside my soul so keenly as it cried out for its missing piece.

I remember I had always unconsciously coiled around the other presence even before, trying to hold it, protect it like something precious. It was my soul, my jumbled instincts and perceptions had said. It was the most precious and perfect part of me and I had to protect it. There was no question to it, no doubts or hesitation – it had to be protected above all else. It could not be made to disappear, it had to keep existing and living beside me, if not inside me.

In fact, I somewhat liked that it was another presence, distinct but at the same time united with my own to form a sole being. I'd liked it when we shared everything and had no boundaries, were a single soul, but I did not wish to return at when we were each unaware of the other. I wanted to feel it there, beside me and part of me at the same time, and I had a feeling if we became one completely once again, then It would lose its own bright consciousness, engulfed by my own. I did not want that – It was too precious.

I only wished our physical restraints would disappear and leave us as before.

And thus, we grew like this inside the Darkness. We each were the first presence the other sensed, the first thing the other felt. We were each part of the Other. We tried to remain as close as possible as our physical boundaries grew and with it, our awareness of our surroundings.

At some point, we started to feel a soft thrumming resonating around us. It beat in time with Our soul, coming from nowhere and everywhere at once, embracing us. It was...strange, comforting, coming from outside and inside both, vibrating within Our begin. It was a little later we realized there were two distinct beats, a soft thumping coming from us and one beating around us, almost with the same rhythm but at the same time distinct. It only beat in true sync with the Other's, as we were one after all – we shared everything, and everything was one (One Soul One Heart).

Our Heart beating in sync always calmed us, a physical proof of our Oneness instead of the usual boundaries that came from it.

After a while we started hearing other noises as well – voices,my mind whispered – coming from outside the welcoming Darkness. They felt as warm and safe as the Darkness itself, although then we could not understand what they meant.

We huddled together to listen to it at times. Others, My Other Half fussed while hearing them and so I tried to push out at them, moving hands and feet I only then realized to possess.

Other times, when My Other was distressed by our distinct presence and my closeness only amplified the sense of loss and of hollowness, I reached out for them – to the voices – on my own, trying to get them to reassure My Half, but it did not always work. Often times it was me the only thing able to calm my Other, even when it was my presence to cause the distress in the first place.

We remained together in the Darkness for what felt like an eternity, although we did not have a sense of time yet, nor of anything that was not Our self, the Darkness or the Voices.

Then, one day, it all changed.

Suddenly, the Darkness started to compress around us – the welcoming embrace becoming a cruel clamp, dangerous rather than safe, and we felt Ourselves being squeezed along. Something was pushing to bring us somewhere, dividing us. I pushed back, trying to get safety for my Other Half at least, but it was useless – I was useless.

I felt myself being squeezed one last, painful time before the sharp pain of breathing with my own lungs for the first time and from being hit by too many stimuli at once invaded my senses. Then, I felt myself being fully, irrefutably separated from my Other for the first time in my life. I cried.

It an was almost physical pain, a feeling a little like being pulled in two opposite directions – neither hold deterring as they pulled and pulled at you till your something gave and you tore in half.

But the worst pain was the one my soul felt as it was left grasping for something that was no longer there, reaching further than it was used to stretch in its fledgling state. I felt...incomplete. I did not like it. At all.

I felt myself being handled by different presences – others – which registered as strange and outsiders to my soul as it desperately tried to stretch, to find the one it recognized as belonging. Our Own.

Then, another cry broke the air, another soul – My soul – crying out as my own. I instantly knew it was my Other Half and felt immediately reassured to have found it again. The relief did not last long however, as we were not reunited as I had hoped, but brought even further apart instead. I could not understand what was going on back then, I only knew they were taking my Other away and remember our screams, rising till they joined as one, united, no matter how far apart we were.

I think we cried till we were settled back together, bodies touching, huddled close as we were in the Darkness, although they felt more restrictive than ever before, strange layers being added to keep us firmly as distinct beings.

I remember opening my eyes for the first time then – as I felt my Other presence being finally settled back into Its rightful place beside me – and being met with the most stunning and beautiful sight I could ever imagine.

The first thing I saw, was my Other Half's gorgeous, huge, teary lilac eyes and beautiful tuffs of silver hair. We were so close I could see them perfectly despite my blurry eyesight, and I knew It did as well.

I came to a realization then, one I abide to still now.

My Other was even more precious than anything I could have thought before, and I had to protect and cherish It, no matter the price.

Not much is to be said about what happened after. Our souls and bodies too strained from the stress of leaving the Darkness and our forceful separation to remain conscious.

From that day onward however, everything had changed for us. The Darkness was left and we could no longer stay together as we liked. Those…foreign presences kept separating us. Some were familiar, however, and reminded us of the Voices we felt when still engulfed by the Darkness. Those presences always reunited us in the end, although each time still took way too long for our liking.

With time, we learned how to sense each other even further apart and we soon stopped being distressed when separated as we could still feel each other, still be one, united, even when divided.

It came to a point we could feel the other's presence anywhere in what we later came to realize was our home, and a bit still after it – although we still did not like it and always longed to reunite.

Months passed, and slowly a strange knowledge started to filter into my brain. Memories, of things I should not know and should not realize nor understand, came to me. I had always felt more strangely aware even when we were back inside the Darkness – one of the reasons, I suspect, why My Other recognized myself as the main body of our common soul and tried to engulf itself with my presence.

It was, perhaps, also the reason why our presences managed to keep separated, however much I detested our physical limitators (Bodies – such useless things when you had).

I did not care about them, aside from the fact that they helped me protect My Other better and be closer to It. I did not care for the memories of the average girl/boy I had once apparently been as s/he went about her/his life. It was not me, not anymore – I realized that without problem or drama, as my new self was much more than I, for I was Myself and My Other. There was no Other in my memories and thus I did not care for them. I only cared that they expanded my ability to think and to realize. I know part of that at least, if not the memories themselves (I don't think, no – no memories, at least not many or clearly, only the effects, as we shared everything, even our brains) bled through to My Other, as he also became more aware and started to realize and process things – although whether to the same extent or not remained to be seen.

It was thanks to that we came to realize what we were: Brothers, Twins. It felt so/such restricting a term for what we felt, however, that we simply referred to each other as Our Others in our minds. There was no need for labels or identifications: we simply were and we were Each Other.

It was also at that point we realized what the two other presences always around us were – our parents – and that what we remembered as coming out of The Darkness was our birth taking place.

The words that filtered around us were still unfamiliar – another language – but I could get a few words here and there making sense sometimes, almost as if I had already heard them somewhere before and only had to remember it (Japanese, my memories whispered).

We learned our names then as well, although we still had troubles understanding which of us was named what – we still, even to that point, had difficulties differentiating Our Self at times – and as such we simply kept not using them. We really had no need for such things anyway, as they only served to distinguish us further and we were simply One.

I still remembered the names however, as they sparked some half-forgotten memory that I could always feel at the edge of my mind when I thought of them but could never reach. Besides, one of them was the name of my Precious Other and even if I could not tell which one yet, and for however useless they were to us, it had to be treasured like every other part of It.

Zero and Ichiru.

Those were our names, but I did not realize till much later what they meant for us and for this new life I had found myself in.

CO– VK –OD

Well, this is it for the first chapter! A little short perhaps but the next one will be longer – and with way less notes, promise.

What do you think? Please let me know. Also, what do you all thing about my writing? Good, bad, passable? Did I make too many grammar errors? Let me know all you find, I'm eager to improve following your advices!

Even if you don't think you'll keep reading this, please review anyway and let me know why! Maybe I could resolve some problems that way as well.

In short, Write down anything and everything you want to say!