Manhattan, New York

*THWIP*

*THWIP*

*THWIP*

Man, I love hearing that sound! Being smart enough to build your own web-shooters really helps out a lot. Well...the web-shooters part; being super smart's not bad or anything, but if you're like me, its probably gotten you nothing but being stuffed in lockers, thrown in dumpsters, and having your head in the toilet. Jesus, that sounds even worse than I thought, ignore the previous sentence, being smart is cool! Stay in school, kids!

Boy that was schmaltzy. Who writes this stuff again? Oh right, some 22 year old dude who lives with his mom.

Ahem, anyways, you probably know who I am right now, but for the uninitiated, I'm Peter Parker, but to everyone else in the Big Rotten Apple, I'm the AMAZING SPIDER-MAN! Yeah, put that in a comic, why don't you?

Anyways, you know how I got to where I am today, spider-bite, woke up with chiseled, manly abs, Un-*sigh*Uncle Ben died, I fight supervillains with cheesy names and equally as cheesy outfits, blah blah blah. B-but this is not a tragically depressing origin story, this is where we focus on the good stuff! See, optimism!

What's that? You wanna know what's going on? Right. It's nighttime, I just got back from foiling-no I can't really call it that-a, ahem, social call with the only Black Cat, or as I know her, Felicia. How I know her? You'll see soon.

God, it's so awkward stopping her robberies; she tries so hard to pull off the whole classy cat burglar schtick. It's almost adorable. I will admit, she is easy on the eyes, but she's just too awkward. She tries too hard. I'll give you an example.

Flashback time!

"So, here we are again, Spider," Black Cat says. We were both on one of the many rooftops in Manhattan and she's just robbed one of the fanciest jewelry stores in the whole five boroughs.

Yeah, stakes are high.

"So it seems, sexy cat burglar lady! Or should I say, Felicia Hardy!" I responded. I really gotta work on my heroic dialogue.

Felicia's eyes widened before she tried to play it cool again. "I think I might have a secret stalker," she continues, smirking and crossing her arms, which was making her cleavage more prominent than it should. Seems like she got the message too, when she struggled to zip back up her suit.

"Goddammit," she mumbled.

"Uh, you need a minute, there?" I asked.

"No! I mean-maybe you should come and help me get outta this," she flirted (or tried to, at least). That 'trying to be sexy' smile was back on again. She purred and made a scratching gesture.

"Ok stop! Just stop! This is too awkward for me right now!" I exclaimed.

"I'm guessing you say that to a lot of your fangirls," she snarked.

I huffed out in frustration. "No, just the unsubtle, flirty ones."

Felicia rolled her eyes and dug into her cleavage, taking out a rather beautiful, gleaming diamond necklace. She walked toward me, took my hand and slammed the necklace into my palm. "Dude, you've really gotta work on your game."

"Yeah, whatever, you wannabe-Selina Kyle."

"She wishes she could be me."

SHUT UP!

Now I'm just web-slinging as fast as I can so I can make it back home. Steak, here I-

*TACKLE*

Gah, what the hell, spider-sense?! Did you take an off day or something?!

I crash down pretty painfully onto some rooftop (I'm way too distracted to really say anything about it), and dirt and dust covers my eyes. I lift myself up and I look to see-oh Christ, not him again!

"Hahaha! We know how much you hate it when we get the drop on you, Parker!"

Stupid ass echoey voice, stupid ass black alien goop suit, looks he abusing steroids, and my God, that creepy grin.

But, I gotta keep up the cocky, snarky appearance, so I smirk and put up my dukes. "Looks like the jilted lover returns."

If you don't know the story, me and some alien goop got in a relationship, and I had to call it off; I told it, 'it wasn't him, it was me'.

"We told you before, we wouldn't stop until you suffered, and you haven't suffered enough, Spider-Wuss!" Venom hissed out.

You know what, enough inner thought stuff, I'm tired and annoyed, let's get this over with!

"Bring it then, you symbiote freak!" I yelled, putting up the famous 'Bring it' gesture. We launched toward each other, punching and punching and-oh you know what I mean, it's a super fight!

Venom pushed me off of him (thank God) and I tried clocking him in his dumb face. He blocked it and spun me around and threw me into that little door entrance thing on the roof. I crashed through it and he came following suit afterwards. He lunged at me, but I turned him around and we both went plunging down the stairway.

"Watch that first step, Parker, it's a doozy!" Tall, dark and goopy said.

I just starting punching him really hard in the face, holding back his other hand, and I backhanded-more like backfisted-him into oblivion. He caught my other hand and headbutted me, making blood spill out of my nose; ah great, now I gotta wash this stupid suit again! And just for that, I got him in the nuts! Yeah, take that, f**kface!

"OOH, TOE ,TOE, TOE! Ow!" I screamed in pain, hitting my shoulder on the railway; hey, you try having your toe stepped on by a giant, steroid abusing alien monstrosity!

We both stopped tumbling down the stairs as Venom detached himself from me and jumped down the stairless, middle shaft thingy. I followed suit and saw him land on the fourth story entrance. I slung a web to the wall and landed on the ground.

Feet. First.

"Oh that kinda hurt!" I yelled, holding my right foot. I entered the-I mean-I went through the entrance, and there was no sign of Venom, but all I did see were terrified people in the hallways. I put up my right hand and said "No worries everybody, your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-"

"Surprise!" Venom yelled. He got the drop on me twice in one day! Must be losing my touch.

He webbed one of those food carts and hurled it right at me, sending me tumbling on the ground. Man, that Parker-luck just had to show up while I'm Spidey!

Venom moved toward me, but kept his distance. "Hehe, layin' down on the job, Spider-Wu-" He paused just as I got that cart off of me and I saw Venom clawing at his own face, peeling it back just enough for me to get a look.

Oh, Eddie, what happened, man?

"G-get off me!" Eddie yelled. He pulled and pulled, only barely managing to tear the symbiote off of his face. He looked at me, his eyes showing the fear in his heart. "Help u-me! Please!"

The symbiote enveloped his face again and he took off hopping, pushing one guy out of the way. "Outta my way, nerd!"

I took off running after him and saw him crash through a window, slinging onto a wall and crawling with alarming speed. I shot a web at the highest point of the building and traveled upward to the next rooftop, where once again, Mr. I'm-invisible-to-your-spider-sense got me again!

Man, am I getting rusty or something?

He pinned me down on the rooftop. "Gotcha, Parker!"

I struggled to move my arms, but it was no use; damn alien steroids!

"Come on, fight it Eddie! It's me, man, it's Peter!" I begged. "I know you're in there somewhere!" How cliche.

"Eddie's not here right now, but can we take a message?" Venom mocked. He lifted his right hand and unleashed his claws-

*THWIP THWIP THWIP*

The hell?!

Venom's finishing blow never came, and I see why; his right hand was webbed to the ground by 'not me'. Whoever this person was, they swung down and kicked Venom off of me. Venom tried to fight back, punching at the person, kicking at them, but 'Whoever' dodged all the blows effortlessly. 'Whoever' then blocked a hit and kicked Venom back, sending him staggering. The person then put her hands forward and web shot out of her fingertips.

One moment please...

...AW COME ON, THEY GOT REAL WEBBING AND I HAD TO MAKE SOME?!

Now we're back.

The person cocooned Venom in nothing but white, leaving only his head exposed. They then crawled behind Venom and got him in a headlock, choking him out. It was only a few seconds before Venom stopped struggling and passed out.

I got up and walked toward our mystery guest. "Thanks for the save, uh-" Getting a better look, I saw that this person was a girl, looked about my age, with long, scraggly brown hair, and a red mask with white eyes covering the rest of her face. She had on a red suit with a giant spider on it.

Hey, that's copyright infringement!

"Hey, Spider-boy! You done staring?" 'Web-girl' said, snapping her fingers in my face. I slapped her hands from my face.

"Oh-uh-right. So...what do I call you, Miss Web-girl or something?"

She put her right index finger on her chin. "You know, I haven't really thought this through yet, but I'll think of something soon."

"Sure you will," I snarked. "And by the way, it's Spider-'Man!' Not 'boy'!"

The girl laughed under her mask. "Not with those puberty pipes, bro." She cleared her throat. 'It's Spider-Man, not boy.' We should call you Voice Crack Boy."

"Oh ha ha," I shot back.

"Aw, relax bro. I'm just breaking your balls. Not that they've dropped yet."

"Alright, it's nice to know that I have a groupie with a sense of humor, but who are you?"

"Oh, you don't know?"

"Know what?"

Web-girl got in a thinking pose. "Hmm...nope, not gonna tell you. You're supposed to be a genius."

I heard Venom groan in pain. Uh-oh. Looks like this night-

*WHACK*

Never mind.

Apparently, my new fangirl saw this and roundhouse kicked Venom in the face.

"Back to bed, buddy," she joked. I laughed at that.

She turned toward me and did a fist pump. "Yes! I knew I could make you laugh, Peter!"

My eyes widened at hearing my name from her. "H-I don't know who thi-"

"WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?!" she yelled, pointing somewhere. Like a moron, she made me look, and when I turned back around, she was gone.

I sighed. "This evening's been too crazy," I whispered, walking toward the unconscious symbiote freak.

I looked down at my trademarked 'Spider-watch' (not in stores yet), and it read 9:19 p.m. S**t! I totally missed dinner with Aunt May, and now she's gonna kill me with nagging! Oh I can see it now: 'Peter Benjamin Parker! Do you know what time it is?! Oh you nearly gave your dear old aunt a heart attack! You know I don't much time on this earth! You should be ashamed of yourself for putting me through that!'

That, that was my old lady voice. I know it's terrible.

I grabbed Tall, dark and slimy by the scruff of his neck and decided to drop him back off at the Ravencroft Institute. I figure since I'm in trouble anyway, might as well get something else done...

Brooklyn Bridge

'Web-girl's' POV

I sigh and look down at my airborne feet. Something told me to ask him...but I couldn't. I had a feeling he wouldn't have cared. Call me cynical, but-you know what, call me cynical.

It's been 4 weeks; four weeks and going and I've finally found him. Just don't know how I-no, we-could break the news to him. He'd probably freak out

"CLANK CLANK CLANK*

I turned to my left side and saw him climb up and take a seat next to me. "Hi Ben," I said, disappointment in my voice. Not at Ben, just at my situation.

He had on a blue hoodie with a spider on it, sleeves cut off, red pants, and web shooters on both of his wrists. Ben's my brother, if you didn't know. In fact, we're all Peter's siblings. I think.

"Did you find him, Jessica?" Ben asked, his voice full of hope. I turned toward him and nodded.

"Aw, dude, this is sweet!" he exclaimed. "I can't wait to meet him!"

"That's the problem, little bro!" I nearly shouted. "How can we just show up and be like 'Hey Peter, we're your brothers and sisters. Let's hug'?"

"Exactly like that," Ben said matter-of-factly. "Jess, with all the stuff we've seen and he's most likely seen, is this really gonna be super freaky?"

"I hope not, Ben," I said. I gave my little brother a hug. "I hope not."

"Oh, waah, waah, waah! Tch, wussies."

I rolled my eyes as I stopped the hug and looked at...ugh, my oldest brother, Kaine. He's like, 6'4", looks just like Ben, but he has a beard. Yeah, he's obviously the oldest out of us. And a massive jerkass.

He had a suit that was both red and black and it just screams '90s anti-hero!'

Kaine leaned on one of the pillars of the bridge. "Sup, wimps?"

"Not now!" I growled.

Kaine put his hands up in surrender. "Whoa, keep your panties on, ho."

Did I mention he was a jerk?

"Anyways," Kaine kept flapping his dumb lips, "you find the a #hole?"

"She did!" Ben exclaimed. God, he's so much like a little kid, it's almost pathetic. That's what I find adorable about him.

"I say we ambush him. A classic welcome," Kaine suggested.

I groaned at this. "Does everything need to be about violence with you?"

Kaine shrugged and put his mask on. "I'll be back." He swung off into the night after that. Probably gonna go beat up some thugs or whatever. You got issues, Kaine. Eff it, we all have issues.

My name is Jessica Drew Parker, and I have no idea what to do.

I decided to revamp this story with a new plot and different characters. So what do you think should happen?

Read and Review.