Easy Money

Locker Room - Cheyenne Mountain

Daniel sat on a bench, awkwardly trying to tie his shoes while balancing a load of books. Two marines, one a 6'3" weight-lifter named 'Mookie', the other, nicknamed 'Rock', studied the archaeologist closely.

Unaware of the scrutiny, Daniel sneezed, dislodging his glasses.

"Is that the guy?" Mookie said, unimpressed with Daniel.

"Yup, that's him. Doctor Geeky T. Bookworm," Rock said.

"You serious?" Mookie said incredulously, taking in Daniel's glasses, too large uniform and general air of dweebishness. "That wimp really thinks he could beat me in a fight?"

"Yeah, he's been boasting about how 'buffed' he is and he wants to take on the best marine. That's you, Mookie," Rock said.

"Yer kidding, right?"

"Nah, I guess he wants ta prove himself for sumpthing," Rock said. "Go for it, we'll get a betting pool going. It'll be easy money."

Mookie approached Daniel, tapping him on the shoulder. Startled, Daniel jumped, causing the books he had been carrying to fly into the air.

"Hey doc, I heard ya wanted to fight me," Mookie said.

"Well, yes, I guess so," Daniel said giving Mookie a cheerful grin. "I think it would be fun."

'Fun?' Rock thought. 'Mookie's gonna kill him.'

"Whatcha say you and me duke it out tomorrow at 1400 hours," Mookie said.

"Uh yeah, sure, sure, why not," Daniel stuttered, as he looked around blindly for the books he had dropped.

"Okey dokey. See you then," Mookie said, unsuccessfully trying to repress a smirk. 'Oh yeah, easy money,' he thought happily.

The next day a large crowd assembled in the gymnasium. Odds were calculated, bets were made. It seemed that virtually the entire population of the SGC had a stake in this fight; with most of the gamblers putting their money on Mookie. Not everyone was putting their faith in the muscle-bound marine, however. Jack, Sam, Janet, Teal'c and General Hammond seemed oddly serene for people who were about to lose their shirts.

The two men entered the ring; Siler had generously volunteered to referee the fight.

"Ya sure ya don't wanta back out now, Doc?" Mookie said.

"Oh, I don't think so," Daniel said as he removed the baggy shirt, revealing his fit, muscular body. Mookie's jaw dropped. The audience gasped.

"Look at those shoulders, and those arms too. Somebody's been working out," one of Janet's nurses sighed.

"Yeah," another said dreamily. "I can't wait until his next physical."

Meanwhile, in the ring, Daniel faced his opponent. The grunt of marines, realizing that the fight might not be as one-sided as they had assumed, muttered unhappily amongst themselves.

"He don't look like no wimp. You sure that's the right guy?" one said.

"Yeah, that's him. I don't unnerstand. He's not supposta have any muscle," another marine said in dismay.

"I got 50 bucks on Mookie. He better not lose," the first marine said.

"Okay, showtime," Daniel said as the marines gaped at him.

Daniel, relying on the martial arts Teal'c had taught him, easily defended himself, outmaneuvering his opponent with consummate skill. The crowd watched, first with astonishment, then, their hopes of a quick victory rapidly disappearing with every blow Daniel struck, dismay.

Finally, tiring of the sport, Daniel knocked the marine unconscious with a mighty right cross.

"Sweet! Way to go Spacemonkey!" Jack crowed.

"Thanks Jack," Daniel said.

"I have taught you well, Grasshopper," Jack said.

"Actually, Jack, Teal'c showed me that move," Daniel said.

"DanielJackson proved to be a most apt pupil," Teal'c said. "He equaled, nay surpassed many fine warriors of the Jaffa."

The assembled crowd finally picked their collective jaws off the floor.

"I don't believe it!" Major Griff said. "I'm out 200 bucks."

Jack smirked. "Griff, twenties is fine," he said, grinning from ear to ear. "The rest of you can wait until payday."

Several days later the SGC commissary was filled with unhappy (and broke) marines. Oblivious to their plight, Jack counted his winnings, separating the tens, twenties and fifties while Daniel was deeply engrossed in the latest copy of 'Archeology Today'.

At a nearby table, several disgruntled marines were complaining bitterly about the outcome of the fight.

"That was a sucker bet," one grumbled. "How was I supposed ta know the guy knew how to fight? He's a geeky bookworm, for pete's sake."

Daniel couldn't help overhearing their conversation. "Excuse me," he said, putting down his magazine. Turning to face the marines, he said: "I've spent the last five years with a Special Ops Colonel and a Jaffa Warrior, and it never occurred to you that I might have picked up a few tricks along the way?" Daniel said, shaking his head. "How do you think I lasted this long? Did you think I TALKED the enemy into submission?"

"I dunno. I thought the big guy watched yer back, or the Colonel looked out for ya," the marine said.

"Oh for crying out loud," Jack said, momentarily setting aside his winnings. "Do you really think I'd have anyone on my team who couldn't carry his weight in a combat situation? Didja think Daniel ducks behind a rock whenever things get rough?"

"I dunno," the marine mumbled.

"By the way, you owe me fifty dollars," Daniel said.

One of the other marines looked at Daniel. Thinking hard, his face showing the strain of the unaccustomed activity, his brain slowly arrived at a conclusion.

"Hey doc, you set us up," he accused. "You're like one of them pool hustlers."

"Me," Daniel said in mock innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yeah, ya did," the marine persisted. "You KNEW you could take Mookie."

"Nah, it was a lucky punch," Daniel insisted.

"Sure it was Doc. Sure it was. Come on guys, let's get outta here before we lose the rest of our paychecks," the marine said, glaring at a very smug Colonel O'Neill.

As they exited the commissary Jack called out, "thanks again guys, hey, when you see Mookie, you might want to suggest he get some boxing lessons."

"Don't forget, Jack, half of that is mine," Daniel said gazing at the impressive pile of money in front of him.

"Peachy," Jack said.

As he picked up his magazineDaniel grinned to himself and thought 'easy money'.

The End.