Author's foreword: I looked and was disappointed to see that the best Warhammer Mommy wasn't getting any attention, so I came up with this… I hope you enjoy it.

Lots of love, VV

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter One: Days like any other

"Dude you've got to come out with me man!"

Eric cringed as he put his now empty glass on the kitchen table.

He'd been chatting with his younger brother and just stopped at his parent's place for a few minutes. Those few turned into almost half an hour, and since it was a weekday he really didn't want to get caught in traffic driving back into the city to his apartment.

He nodded to his younger brother and waved to his parents through the window, "Yeah man… I will just you know; you've got my number, text me?"

James laughed and waved him off, "Bah! Fine… grumpy boy! Get goin'."

He smiled as Eric stepped off their front porch and walked to his car.

James was petitioning his older brother very hard to buy a ticket and join him for summer music fest.

The week-long event promised to be fun, and a lot of bands Eric liked were playing but… He just knew that his younger brother was trying to get him to be the chauffer, the DD, and overall 'mom' for James' pals.

He made that mistake once before, right after high school, and he swore he'd never make it again.

But, he did want to see Gorillaz, and Billy, and Post, and…

'Oh goddamn it!' he thought, 'When am I going to get another opportunity to see like eighty bands and artists for a week straight?!'

The thought plagued him the whole way home.

…

When he finally arrived at his apartment building he was so frustrated that he nearly sheared the bumper of his car on one of the parking garage's pillars, eliciting a look of surprise and anger from one of the building's security guards.

Eric waved and mouthed 'sorry'. Cringing as he exited and walked past the guard to the elevator lobby.

'You dumbass…' he scolded himself.

Pressing the button for the elevator he stepped forwards as the doors opened and he nearly ran into a man.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" he exclaimed.

When he looked up Eric's brow furrowed in surprise. The man he nearly hit was wearing a thick black sweater and had a scarf and hand wraps.

'But it's June?' he thought.

The man grumbled and spoke in a foreign tongue as he stepped ahead without ever looking at him, or even acknowledging that Eric was about to hit him.

The young man shook his head and whispered, "What the fuck…" as he entered the small elevator.

The room smelt and he rolled his eyes while holding his breath. It might have been food… or BO or even a combination of the two but he really didn't want to make a study of it.

"Don't be racist… don't be an asshole…" he began telling himself.

When he finally arrived at his floor he was thankful to be out of the small box of weird scent.

'I just want to have smoke, and unwind while playing something on steam.'

He nodded and unlocked his apartment door.

'Is that too much to ask?'

His was a small two room apartment with a tiny bathroom tucked into the corner of the main living room.

Posters, video game maps, and anime crap lined the walls and shelves.

With the door shut he sighed wearily, somewhat unhappy to be 'home'.

Throwing his keys onto the small table beside his door he nodded and jumped over his discarded shoes towards his desk.

He booted up his computer and threw on his TV while he waited.

Flicking through the options he eventually saw the title card for an anime that he watched and exclaimed happily, "Oh sweet Netflix has the second season now."

Lighting up a cigarette he clicked play and exhaled as he heard the familiar opening tune of the show's credits.

Mumbling along in broken Japanese he hummed the tune and began clicking his keyboard and mouse furiously.

…

With his TV blaring Eric played several games but none held his fancy for too long.

"Maybe I'll have better luck with an RTS?"

Booting up his saved campaign Eric slogged away for almost an hour. But after losing the same battle a third time in a row he petulantly exited to the main menu, frustrated and tired.

His show was far more interesting than losing to the stupid AI and its cheese tactics…

Binging over half the season, getting through three and a half beer, he eventually passed out uncomfortably in his chair.

When he woke up the bright light of the TV screen beckoned the wonderful question; 'Are you still watching?'

He groaned and tried stretching his arm out as he turned the TV off.

"Ugh… I should have cleaned first…" he complained.

Cans, bottles, and discarded shirts were strewn across his floor and he had just turned off his only source of light.

Standing from his chair he turned around to flick his computer monitor back on when he slipped over his long headset cord.

"Ah! N-No!" he managed to scream.

Losing his footing, like a dumbass, Eric fell forwards into his desk, knocking his half empty glass of flat beer, an open bottle of water, his screen, speakers, mouse, keyboard, and even his computer tower underneath, over.

The sound was horrible as the 'shrine' to his electronic addiction fell to the side with him on top of it.

His chest tightened and he frantically tried to break his fall as he rode the desk over and to the ground, but Eric was uncoordinated at the best of times, and if he got flustered or stressed his coordination became even worse.

Trying to save at least one thing off his desk, while also trying to steady himself to limit the impending damage were far too many things for him to handle. With the grace of a dead bird Eric smashed his own face into his ash, beer, and garbage covered monitor.

…

When the noise ringing in his head stopped he pushed himself off the broken heap of his crappy Ikea desk and looked through the gloom of the room at the shit which had all gone flying in his fall.

He groaned and sat up, "Well…"

His voice faltered and he began standing while walking to the kitchenette. Reaching for the light he shook his head and held a breath.

"Good fucking going you absolute idiot."

When the lights turned on Eric furrowed his brow and let out a groan like a wounded animal.

"Ohhhh no…"

Running his hand through his now damp hair he exhaled heavily before stepping back towards the ruin of his desk.

His computer fan was making an awful noise and he tentatively knelt beside the punctured and ruined case.

The glow light of the interior fans changed colours eerily as they tried to continue working.

"Well…" he brought a hand to his mouth, "Good fucking going… that's like six hundred dollars to replace…"

He tried lifting the desk off the case when the whirring began to climb in volume.

"What the fuck? Shit!"

The light of the computer began to glow brighter and he furrowed his brow as he watched green and purple arcs of energy snap out of the computer.

A droplet of beer and his stress sweat flowed down his forehead as he reached forwards, "I've got to unhook the power supply! Fuck! If it shorts out there goes my data!"

Reaching under the desk for the power cord Eric ran his hand along the dented and razor sharp edge of the metal case.

He cut his hand and as he took hold of the cord his blood and sweat connected with the exposed electrical wire.

The sound was deafening, and the light nearly singed his eyebrows.

But the explosion was the most surprising part of it.

All Eric remembered was flying backwards.

When he woke up all he smelt was an acrid, singed, potato-like, scent.

Parts of his desk had been thrown across the room and his chair had somehow flown towards the doorway.

He looked around his now even more chaotic room with wide disbelieving eyes.

Strange purple mist hung in the air and his carpet had a black singed circle emanating from where his setup used to be.

Lying on the floor of his room was a fully grown, mother-fucking, human body!

More than that it was a chick!

'I'm fucking dead… I am hallucinating and these are my death throes… I'm fucking seeing shit.' Is what Eric thought.

But what Eric said was something along the lines of; "Holy fucking shit wh-the what theffucking! AGHHHhaaa!"

He fell to his knees and hid behind his kitchenette's island, panting and shaking before eventually working up the courage to look around the edge at his 'visitor'.

She was pale… With tons of black hair… and a twisted, horned, crown-like headdress… wait.

She looked familiar?!

He slunk back behind the island when the body moved and he heard her groan.

"Aghhh, my bloody head…" she grumbled.

Eric began panicking and hyperventilating. Looking to his left side he reached for his cutlery drawer and drew one of his sharper dressing knives.

His hands shook and his whole body shivered with fear and abject disbelief at what had just happened.

With a cry he jumped up and raised the knife, "Who the hell a-are you?!" he screamed.

The figure looked up at him groggily at first, and then she narrowed her eyes and bared her teeth as she saw the knife.

But he knew her by sight… He knew her by her face, her dress, and her hair…

He nearly fainted at the realisation, but he had to have asked the question, even if it was pointless.

Her face changed as she realised he knew who she was.

Eric lowered the blade and was doing everything he could not to scream in madness or to piss himself in fear.

"Y-y-yo-you-you're…" he stuttered.

She exhaled painfully and tried to move.

Her limbs were stiff and she groaned in pain as she pushed herself backwards.

"You're M-Mo-Morathi…."

She leaned against the wall when she reached it and exhaled spitefully as she tilted her chin up.

Her voice sounded pained but her chest swelled as she chuckled hollowly, "I am."

With a loud exhale Eric dropped the knife into the kitchen sink before he collapsed to the floor.

…

He was out like a light for several minutes, but unfortunately when he came to the room hadn't gone back to normal.

Groaning he looked at his apartment's ceiling and saw the black singed lines from the explosion.

"Oh no…"

Quickly rolling over he began to slowly stand as he looked over the island at his 'guest'.

Her eyes were closed and her chest was moving up and down steadily. One arm was over her lap while the other was holding her shoulder.

She smirked and spoke without opening her eyes, "Oh yes."

Her voice was sarcastic and caustic.

Eric's mouth dried and his hands shook as he tried to get a grip on reality.

"W-why wh-wha-what the fucking h-how?!"

She opened her eyes and looked across the room. "You tell me spell caster? Before I boil your organs, that is…"

Eric shivered and shook his head as his mind raced and his breath fluttered, "W-wait… I… look I have no idea… w-what holy fuck this is unbelievable…"

Morathi tried to move but seethed and hissed at the pain in her arms, "Gah! Enough of this, I am not in the mood for games!"

Forcing herself to stand Eric quailed and watched as his lower jaw chattered.

Her skirt moved and her body swayed uneasily as she balanced herself and straightened.

Her voice grew deep and she began an incantation. Dark purple smoke materialised in her hands before dissipating.

She furrowed her brow and looked at her fingers in disbelief.

"What? But, how?" she whispered.

Eric blinked profusely and backed up until he hit the counter behind him.

Rolling her shoulders and flicking some of her hair behind her she snarled and stretched out her hands.

"No matter…"

Stepping towards him Morathi ignored the debris and empties as she crossed the room and lunged at Eric.

The young man choked back a squeal as she easily wrapped her hand around his throat. He didn't quite know where to look. Her face was flawless, and her intense eyes were even more piercing in person.

The fact that she was so scantily clad… didn't help…

It also turned out that Morathi was easily taller than Eric; she was also dimensionally larger too.

Her arm flexed and she visibly strained against some kind of fatigue or pain in her body, but she tightly held him in a death-grip.

"Where am I? What pitiful name do you call this place? You foolish wizard!"

Eric's face grew red and he tried prying her hand off his neck with all his strength.

"Y-you're on E-earth…" he croaked out.

She furrowed her brow, never having heard the name before. Obviously.

He looked into her unblinking eyes, struggling to comprehend that he was being strangled by a very-real, fictional, character…

"I-I'm n-not a, gah, cack! A wizard!"

This was a sentence Eric, as well as any other person in their right mind, never thought they'd have to answer genuinely. She lightened her grip and her brow softened, momentarily. She didn't believe him and then doubled her efforts.

Eric struggled and his desperation finally gave him the strength and impetus to actually touch, and 'hit' her to defend himself.

He brought his fist down onto the crook of her elbow and kicked his left leg forwards into her thigh.

The two collisions hurt her far more than they should have and her face contorted in pain as she let go and stepped backwards, hobbled by the strikes.

Catching his breath and raising his hands Eric tried to be as diplomatic as possible, "Look I have no idea how you got here! There was an explosion and you just kind of appeared!"

Morathi's face tried to stay level but she held her arm tightly and her legs visibly strained to keep her up.

"Keep still your lying tongue, and prepare to die!"

Eric's eyes widened as she turned and reached for the sink and the knife within.

"Whoa, wait!" he cried.

She took hold of the blade and before she could turn around Eric felt a rise of self-preservation like he never felt before.

He leapt towards her and screamed, "Noooo!"

Colliding with her back and the mass of hair flowing down from her head, the 'almost-otaku' used all his strength to tackle Morathi and bring her to the floor.

She let out a wail of pain at the hit and lost her grip on the knife.

Only because of her weakened state did Eric have any chance of bringing her to the ground.

What followed next was a tense wrestling match in whom Eric did everything he could to avoid, or break out of, her grip.

She hissed and bit at his right arm.

"Ah! AGH!"

She laughed and began striking him as hard as she could.

The whole time Eric poorly tried to defend himself while weakly protesting "Stop!" "No!"

Eventually he won out with a blind punch.

Mostly he was just trying to deflect or stifle her blows… He'd not been in an actual physical fight since middle school… and he couldn't quite get past the fact that he was up against a woman… and not only that but an actual breathing, fantasy character…

It was fucking Morathi!

How was he supposed to fight?!

As she battered him he threw out a wild uncoordinated fist. It struck her in the jaw and her eyes fluttered as she leaned backwards, limp, and groaning.

With a fat lip quickly forming Eric brought his arm away from his face and he uncurled his body.

"I… I won?"

Looking down at his opponent Morathi groaned and bared her teeth, gritting, as she weakly writhed on the ground, her eyes shut tightly.

"Holy shit!" the human exclaimed.

Standing up Eric hastily reached for the knife which had flown out of the kitchenette, landing near the overturned couch.

"Look… I have no idea what happened, but! Y-you can't just try to kill me!"

By the time he turned around Morathi had forced herself to roll over.

"Oh come on! Please!" he cried.

She looked up at him angrily as she tried to push herself up onto her knees.

"Stop it! Please!"

She ignored his words and growled as she tried to steady herself. Putting her hand on the edge of the island she tried to stand. Her breaths were ragged and she swayed uneasily, pausing in her advance.

For the first time since her appearance she actually looked around the room.

Eric watched as she blinked and tried to understand her surroundings.

'She seems kind of confused' he thought. 'Well duh! If she's literally actually, the real Morathi… then she's never seen anything artificial before… she's kind of like a time traveller I guess?!'

"Where am I?" she finally asked. Her voice seemed somewhat earnest and just a little less wrathful than before.

Lowering the knife Eric coughed and responded, "I told you; Earth. You…"

Her lips rose and she leaned against the island for several seconds, moving from side to side.

"Are you okay?" Eric asked involuntarily.

She spread out her arms against the ledge for better balance and tilted her head upwards.

For the first time she saw what was illuminating the room.

The pot lights in the ceiling and their round bulbs made her furrow her brow.

Almost entranced she extended her right arm towards the light and breathily mumbled, "Curious…"

The strength in her limbs failed and the angle of her heavy headdress made her fall to the side.

Dropping the knife and lunging forwards Eric tried to catch the Druchii witch.

Barely making it in time Eric awkwardly gripped her by the shoulder and did his best to ease her to the floor.

She was unbelievably heavy and the habitually sedentary Eric groaned and grit his teeth as he did his best to hold her.

"Holy fucking shit!" he exhaled.

Gulping and looking her over briefly he shook his head, "She literally looks like her character model…"

Stepping away from her unconscious body he began wiping his brow. "W-well… What the fuck do I do now?!"

…