A Brits, a Yankee, a French and an Hun in Gallia: A Squire/Valkyria Chronicles crossover fanfiction

Chapter 1

1935. An Europe at war. A war between two major factions: In the East, the sun rose over the Autocratic East European Imperial Alliance, also better known as the Empire.

In the West, a network of loosely allied democracies formed the Atlantic Federation. Both nations depend on a precious mineral, ragnite, for their survival. It was because of this that war begun. The Empire vast resources allowed them to go on the offensive quite easily on the Federation.

As the speed and momentum of the invasion continued even further, it was in the belief of the Imperial High Command to set their sights beyond the borders of the Federation. In neighboring Gallia, a neutral Kingdom, they found their next target.

Their rich ragnite deposits made them too tempting for the Empire. They invaded like an avalanche, unable to be stopped. Only a gift from the skies could had saved us from destruction.

Now that I look back, however, when such gift arrived…. My first thought was "These men ain't them chief".

"Irene Koller, in her bestseller book, On the Gallian Front(Op het Gallische front)"

March, 1935

Outside the Gallian border town of Bruhl.

In one of the many hills surrounding the city, something you would not see every day had just occurred. A Churchill tank popped out from existence, with its crew unbelievably(and understandably) confused.

A man came out of the tank, inspecting the surrounding. «Bloody hell! I don't remember Berlin looking so uninhabited!» he exclaimed, with a strong British accent. Another man came out of the tank, expressing the same confusion. «Sir, I doubt that this is Berlin. As a matter of fact, it reminds me more of the Netherlands sir.».

The man, which seemed to be a commander of some sort, looked at him with a funny look. «Well that's just bloody ridiculous, isn't it? I mean five minutes ago we were in Berlin, taking out the last remaining Hunts that had terrorized Europe for so long, and all of a sudden, we have been teleported in the Netherlands?».

The other man looked at him with a look that intended to show agreement. «It would rather seems so. Besides, it would be more accurate that having us in Berlin. Technically it was captured by the Soviets, as a matter of fact.».

The commander looked at him with a disappointed look. «Yeah, no need to remind me of that.». After a while that the commander spent looking around the area, he finally spoke. «Well, we surely aren't going to find out what just bloody happened by standing here. I suggest for the exploration of the nearby area, to find clues of what has just occurred.»

«Sir, should we head toward that village then?» the other man pointed to a small village in the distance, where a large windmill could be easily seen. «Indeed,» was the captain response, «now, my dead Churchill, roll out!».

Down one of the many dirt paths of Bruhl, a tall young man, in his early twenties, with messy brown hair and grey eyes, wearing a light brown jacket and blue trousers walked with a look of nostalgia in his face.

«{I haven't been down this road in ages. It really hasn't changes that much.}» he thought in his mind. As he reached a bridge, however, he could not but notice three trouts swimming against the current. While most people would not pay too much attention to such sight, the young man was surprised in the sight.

« Nu al!?[Already!?]» he exclaimed with obvious happiness in his voice. He quickly took out a notebook in his backpack and started to write notes and drawings. All of a sudden, however, he noticed a rumbling sound nearby. As he turned, he was greeted by the sight of a tank.

The man almost fell into the water from the surprise. Soon, a man came out. He carried a British uniform, his hair relatively short and his eyes green. He had a medium constitution.

«'Morning chump. Are you a native of these lands?» he asked, his arms crossed. The man had still an hard time understanding what was going on, but responded anyway. «J-ja[Y-yes]. Are you-» he said, before being interrupted by the commander.

«Yes, lad. We're British! Do not fear, we mean no harm to you. Our job here is to liberate the people from the tyrannical rule of the Nazis. We wouldn't hurt civilians.».

«Unless we had to bomb strategic industrial areas, that is.» the other British muffed, luckily not being heard from his commander. «Commander Squire, and the other man in the tank would be Bill. Now mind if I ask you, what place is this exactly?».

The man looked confused as to the various information's he just received. «M-my name is Welkin Gunther. And this is the city of Bruhl.» he responded, a bit tibutant. Squire looked surprised by his response. «Bruhl? Ah, I see! We're still in Germany after all! And I even thought that we in some sort of, alternative earth or something. Now excuse me good sir, do you occur to know the best street for Berlin?».

Welkin had his eyes widened in complete surprise. «British? Nazis? Germany? Alternative earth? Berlin? What are you talking about?». Squire started to look at Bill, who had partially came out of the tank too. «Well, bollocks. Now my boy, could you please tell me in which country we're currently in?».

«We…..we're in Gallia sir.» was the boy response. At this point it was hard to see if he was even trying at this point. And people called him weird for his love for nature. At the very least he didn't think he belonged to another planet!

The two British men looked at each other's once more. Squire then turned toward Welkin. «I'm sorry good sir, but I believe that the last record of a nation called Gallia had died with the bloody Romans. Now could you please be a bit more serious? My trigger has become relatively sensible with hunts in recent years, ya know, World War two and all.».

He then showed the boy that he was armed with a Sten submachine gun. At this point the boy was in complete confusion. All of a sudden, the small quarrel was stopped after the sound of a dropped rifle could be heard.

«Oh god ... Het Keizerlijke leger is er al![ Oh god...The Imperial army is already here!]» a man, with a firefight like helmet with the world Bruhl written on the top exclaimed, with despair in his voice. Squire turned toward the man, which was alongside another man with the same look of despair in his face and with a similar helmet.

The only one that took a stance was a young woman, of average height, with long, brown hair tied into two pigtails. She kept on holding on her rifle, and although she was trembling a bit, she was still keeping a serious and determinate look. «Give me a reason why I shouldn't shoot you.» she said coldly, turning toward Squire.

«Now now my dear, there is no need in using violence. We of the British empire do not wish to make enemies in Europe.». Despite his words, she didn't seem convinced. «Well, you're surely doing a poor job here, driving a tank around here like it was nothing. As much as I'm concerned, you are part of the invasion force of the Empire!». Squire looked at the girl confused.

«I say, we indeed serve the Empire, but judging by your aggressive stance, I believe that you refer to a different empire.». He walked closer toward the girl, while still keeping a distance. «Now miss, I understand well that you may have an hard time trusting foreign forces here in….Gallia, but I assure you that the British empire would never invade this country. As a matter of fact, we ignored its existence up to now.».

Welkin ran forward between the two. «Don't listen to him! He's insane! He thinks that he's from an alternate earth, and kept on talking on nonsense, like Nazis, Germany, Berlin!». The girl pointed his rifle at him as a response. «Shut up! Or I'll promise this rifle is going to gain its first kill!».

«I doubt that, my fair lady.» was Squire response. «You see, if your little group of resistance fighters will not put their guns down, I am afraid that we'll have to go on the offensive. That tank over there, is armed with a 152 mm armor, a 95 mm gun and two machine guns. And I don't see any sort of anti tank equipment in your pretty dress. So either we solve this peacefully, or I will be forced to order to shoot.».

A short silence followed. «Bloody hell, this is more suspenseful that the Sudetenland crisis.» one of the crew member of the tank said, as he pointed the tank gun at the girl and the two men, who were considering dropping their guns and running away.

The tension was eased by someone calling for Welkin. «Welks? Ben jij dat? [Welks? Is that you?]». «Well thank heavens. It would seem like our crisis has passed.» Bill commented, as he saw the girl who called for Welkin.

She was a girl with a similar age to the one of the girl with the rifle, except she had short black hair and black eyes.

« Oh godzijdank, eindelijk iets normaals! [Oh, thank god, finally something normal!]». Welkin exclaimed with extreme relief. This had to be, by far, the craziest day of his life. The girl was greatly worried. The girl with the ponytail however was furious.

«The crisis has NOT passed! I'm not going to yield to anyone without reacting, armed with a tank or not! And we're not resistance fighters! We're Bruhl Town Watch!» she exclaimed at the top of her lungs. Squire simply looked at the girl with pity in his face.

«Now now ma'am, I'm sure that we can advert such crisis. For a starter, how about you introduce yourself, just like this fellow gentleman over here.». The woman sighed as she started to calm down. «All right. My name is Alicia Melchiott.».

«I'm Isara Gunther, the younger sister of Welkin.» the other girl politely introduced herself. «I'm commander Squire of the 21st Army Group. And now that presentation had been finished, I'd say that we discuss the current situation. I can tell by the looks on your faces that you're as confused as Göring when we repulsed Sealion.»

«Not that we're less confused.» Bill said inside the tank, «I mean, first we were in Berlin, and now we're in some sort of cartoonish Netherlands. There's even a Dutch wife. Considering how she was pointing her gun at the tank, I wouldn't be surprised if she gained Dutch Courage.».

As they marched toward the city of Bruhl, the group told information's about their different worlds and, most specifically, about their wars. While showing the various dialogues between the Gallians and the British would allow for a good character development, the narrator turned to be too lazy to show everything.

«So let me get this straight,» Alicia said, looking at the tank and its crew, «You were in this so called "Berlin", which apparently was the capital of a really evil empire, and all of a sudden you were teleported in our world?».

«Yep. It would appear so my lady.» was Squire response. «I've got to say,» one of the Bruhl Town Watch member said, «your Nazi Germany reminds me a lot of the Empire if I have to be honest.».

Squire nodded in agreement. «Yes, the similarities are uncanny. However I must say that your "Empire" reminds me more of Russia. I don't suppose that they are by any chance socialist?». Isara shook his head in disagreement.

«Not at all. They are an absolute monarchy with almost no parliament. I must guess that the people are suffering in those territories.».

«Do not worry my dear Isara,» Squire continued, «with the help of the British empire, those Imperialistic powers shall not threaten the sovereignty of Gallia. We stopped the Germans from their expansion frenzy, we shall stop the Ruskies too.»

Alicia turned around in embarrassment. «Tsk, please! We could have held the Imperials on our own!» she exclaimed. The tank crew was doubtful. «You stopping the Empire? You mean a small militia made up of volunteers? You look as well defended as a German flank at Stalingrad!» was Bill response-

Alicia simply accelerated her pace. All of a sudden, however, gunfire could be heard. «LOOK OUT!» Alicia exclaimed, as she ducked. All of a sudden, a small group of soldiers charged down the hills. They were covered in an armor similar to the one of medieval soldiers in the Middle Age.

They tried to attack the group by storm, charging like madmen. However, before Alicia and the Town Watch members could respond fire, the group of soldiers had been decimated. «Typical Russians.» Squire said, with an irritated tone.

«I mean, didn't they see we had a bloody tank! As a sportsman like a British, I found this unbelievably unfair. I mean, who charges at a tank without thinking of some strategy!? Or simply sneaking around?!».

«That seems really unlikely, sir.» Bill responded, «I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't be filled entirely with Vodka. Even a French would refuse to surrender and would charge forward with that bloody thing on your body. Beside, how could they sneak around with that bloody thing they're wearing?».

Alicia sighed at the tank crew discussing. «{Sportsmen? Against the Empire it's just now worth it. Still, this tank can come handy.}» she thought to herself. She then turned to Welkin and Isara after having picked up two Imperial guns. «Isara. Welkin. You know how to fire a gun?» she asked. The duo nodded in agreement.

«C'mon guys! Let's go! For Gallia!» Alicia exclaimed, as they prepared to face even more men.

The team charged toward, after having crossed a bridge. «I spotted thee of them!» Welkin exclaimed, pointing at three scouts. «Gunner, if you please.» Bill then said to the tank gunner. The shell eliminated easily the three men. «Thank you.»

Another soldier attempted to outflank the group, but was shot dead by Welkin before he could get too close. «Good shot, my boy. You know, despite these being Russians, I expected a bit more troops to try and rush forward against us.».

«Indeed. This is uncanny.» the gunner responded. Almost as the Imperials heard the last comment of the British gunner, a small group of them charged near the hills, but were easily repulsed by Alicia, Isara and the Bruhl Town Watch members, with considerable help from Squire's tank.

«Looks like there are no more enemy soldiers, ma'am!» one of the watchmen exclaimed. «Brilliant! Victory in the field has been achieved. I recon this operation 100% successful!» Squire exclaimed, with a triumphant tone.

Alicia remained silent, alongside the other Gallians. «So it begins.» she said, with a cold tone. She then turned toward the rest of the group. «I'll do whatever it takes to protect the people of this town. Are you with me?» she asked, with a determined tone.

«Do not fear my fair lady, of course we are in this struggle. We cannot just surrender!» was Squire response. «Indeed, we're British!» Bill exclaimed, in approvation. «Indeed, if we surrender we would be sent in a Siberian Gula-I mean we're British!».

Alicia sighed desperately at the British discussing. « God, we hebben ECHT je hulp nodig in deze.[God, we'll REALLY need your help in this one.]».

Hello folks! I would like to warn you that this fanfiction is not meant to be connected with the Second Universe. The events of Valkyria Chronicles do occur in the Second Universe, but Squire does NOT exist in that universe.

If you're wondering who the hell is Squire, well you probably just missed out the funnies British youtuber that ever lived. I highly suggest checking out his channel:

channel/UCfwY-BIInmUEtz6YnntsKzA

Also a possible spoiler for the story. Remember how sad Valkyria Chronicles could be at times? Yeah, throw that at the window. This is going for the most a comedy, full of gags and parodizing of both historical events, events of the game story and, most importantly, the game mechanics.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review so I can learn your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions, so stay tuned. Also remember to like and follow. See you on the next chapter.