Have this over on Archive and completely forgot to put it over here too! Ahh! Hope you enjoy friends!

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Humans are Weird

-00-

Death was… odd.

He had never really been religious when he had been alive. He wanted to believe there was something after death, of course. He just didn't see how anyone could ever possibly know if there was, what was right and wrong to believe, until he actually died.

"That's what belief is," his sister rolled her eyes, directing their brother (her twin) to cut the carrots waiting at the end of the counter. "You don't know, but you believe."

"Yeah, but how do you know what to believe in when it's impossible to know?" his brother asked.

She smacked him and told him to pay attention before he cut himself. Again.

Either way, he had been open to just about anything while keeping his fingers crossed that it wasn't simply nothingness waiting for him.

An empty black space where he felt like he was floating but couldn't actually see himself wasn't quite 'nothingness'. The creepy voice was odd too.

"How interesting," the voice mused. It was distinctly male, and it had a very unsettling lilt to it that made it sound like whoever it was was trying to persuade him into making very bad life choices. Death choices. Whatever. "What has happened to your soul little one?"

Little? He had died at the age of thirty-two, thank you very much. 'Little' was not how one would typically describe him.

They hummed. "It's not too terribly damaged. Just enough to keep you here, hm? You'll heal on your own, eventually, and then move on just like all the others."

Well, at least the voice was rather forthcoming with information, it seemed. His soul was damaged (which didn't sound good) but it could be healed. Apparently this had happened before. Perhaps it had been damaged by how he had died? Or the things that happened when he had lived? He didn't really have a voice, he had tried as soon as he was conscious, so asking questions was out.

"Although~" The sound was sweet, the word pulled long.

That didn't sound good.

"Yes, this could work. Little one, how would you like to help me make a dream come true?"

He would like to not do that, thanks. This guy sounded like the stranger in a van full of candy every human being had long since learned not to trust.

"Oh, it won't be very difficult. You seem like a strong soul. Strong enough to protect the little Sky until he is ready."

He had not been aware that the sky even had gender pronouns but okay. Did protecting the sky mean he would be part of the atmosphere or something? Global warming was not a thing he wanted to experience on such a personal level.

Something brushed against him, through him, and if he had still had skin it would be covered in goosebumps. That had felt wrong.

"Very flexible," the voice practically purred and he started to get strong creeper vibes. He wanted out of wherever this was, and fast. "Perfect, you should adapt just fine. Now, which one should I have you replace?"

Ew. This was sounding worse and worse. Was there a way to fight back?

"The mother or the father… I suppose it will have to be that one."

He tried to wiggle away. It was so dark he couldn't tell if he was actually getting anywhere but a moment later that disgusting feeling was back. This time, instead of passing through him, it wrapped around him.

"Ah, where are you going? You were going to help, remember?"

No, he certainly did not. He remembered actively screaming his refusal in fact.

"Everything is ready now. I'll leave you alone for a little while. Try to adapt quickly."

He had never wanted to know what a grape felt like when it was feeling crushed. Trust him, it wasn't pleasant. He couldn't even scream, no matter how hard he tried.

Oh, no. Wait. There it goes. He was screaming now.

And ow. It had gotten bright. Painfully so. He couldn't even crack his eyelids open without being blinded. The hand was still holding him to. No, it was more than one hand now. Two. Three? How many hands did this thing have?

A completely different voice spoke, loud and directly into his ear. He startled so badly his own hand hit his face. Had that even been english? It sounded like a bunch of random sounds just mushed together.

...Hand?

Struggling, blinking rapidly in hopes his eyes would adjust faster, he fought to actually see what was around him.

Soft, warm brown eyes stared down at him from a far to large face. He was now being held in the arms of a literal giant. She was smiling and crying, far too pale to be normal with dark bags under her eyes.

"...Nana," she breathed, eyes fluttering. Soft fingers brushed over his head tenderly.

"Ohayo," a deeper voice called and suddenly there was a man. Thick lines surrounded his eyes and mouth, salt a pepper hair beard trimmed close to his face. He glanced at the woman with a smile on his face but worry in his eyes. "Nana?"

"Nana," she said resolutely.

What the hell was happening? Why were these people so big? And- why the hell were his hands so small?!

It would take half a day before he realized he was a baby.

It would take several before he realized he was a baby girl.

-00-

Natsuki Nana was… odd.

All of her neighbors agreed. The little girl was sweet, and very mature for her age, but definitely odd.

At five-years-old her language was certainly impressive, but she would sometimes switch from feminine to masculine ways of speech. Even a few english phrases would pop up, which was very impressive for such a young child.

If only her father would actually take action to get her into a good school instead of leaving her to fend for herself while he went to work. The mothers of the neighborhood sympathized with the poor man, losing his wife only a few hours after Nana was born, but that was no excuse for leaving the little one alone!

They had banded together to help take care of her, which is when things started getting very odd. She would switch randomly from dressing up in the dresses they made or bought her to sweats and a hoodie. She would have tea with them, delicate as anything else, and then they would be passing by the park and see her digging through the mud with steadfast determination or playing ball with the boys in the field. She was always on the winning team.

She would talk to herself. A lot.

She once told Masaki-san, the elderly man directly next door, that her imaginary friend was a busybody who couldn't mind his own business so they argued all the time. Masaki-chan, his wife, asked what her imaginary friend looked like. The girl had simply shrugged and said he was just like a ghost so she couldn't tell.

"You're a lady," the stern Hanazawa-san had told her one day after finding her in a tree with scrapes all over. "This is not how ladies act."

Nana had scrunched up her face like she had tasted something sour. "Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't climb trees. That's stupid."

Hanazawa-san and Nana did not get along.

When she turned eight Nana's father surprised her by not only remembering her birthday but by taking the night off to celebrate with her as well.

Natsuki Toshi had not realized his daughter had grown so big until she hugged him after he brought out the small convenience store cake he had bought just that morning.

"It's okay Dad," she had consoled when he started crying. She looked so much like her mother. "I understand."

"Papa loves you," he had told her, desperate for her to understand that he did not leave her alone out of hate.

"I know. I love you too. Don't worry, I can take care of myself okay?"

She deserved better, he knew. But how could he take care of her, look her in the eye and smile, when all he could see was the love of his life in her warm brown eyes and the curve of her smile?

"Take your time dad," she told him, small hands patting the back of his head with her cheek pressed against his. "I know you loved mom a lot. Take your time."

She deserved better.

A few days later he forced himself to meet her eyes. He asked her if she liked school.

Her nose had scrunched up in thought (a warm feeling he had been missing filled his heart when he recognized the face his late wife would make when in deep thought).

"It's okay," she shrugged, spearing her broccoli on the end of her chopsticks. She would do that sometimes. Said she like to mix things up. "Kind of boring. Why?"

There had been a pamphlet in the mailbox on her birthday. He hadn't thought to even look at it before, but had found his gaze drawn to it again after she had gone to bed.

"What do you think about a boarding school?" he wondered. It was still too difficult to look at her, and she was such a bright girl. She would know when he couldn't meet her eyes and no matter how much she told him it was okay he knew it must hurt her. This way he would have the space he needed to mourn, to not see his wife in her shadow each day, and she would not be left unsupervised for so long.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him, a mirror of his own expression. It made him laugh a bit.

"Why?" she wondered.

He let her read through the pamphlet. A girl's school in Italy, designed for especially talented and gifted children. Nana certainly qualified.

"Italy," she had mumbled. "Are you messing around again?"

"What was that?" he wondered, but she had simply waved him away saying she had just been talking to herself.

Later that night, when he had troubles sleeping again, he had heard her arguing to herself about accepting or not. He had read that highly intelligent children spoke to themselves often, so he left her to think it through herself and went down to try to distract himself from his thoughts.

Over the weekend, when he got off early for once, he found her next door playing with the Masaki family's cat.

"Dad!" she had rushed to hug him and something in his heart loosened at the motion. She was such a kind girl. "I've thought about it," she told him as they walked home hand-in-hand.

"Oh?" he smiled, eyes hovering over the top of her head but ears focused on her every word. "You know you don't have to if you really don't want to dear. I just don't want you to be alone at home so often and I think you should make some friends."

The ladies of the neighborhood always chattered away about his daughter when he passed them on the way home. He knew she was often separated from her schoolmates, and even when she did interact with them it was almost always the boys she chose to play with. They treated her as an equal now, but he knew that as they grew older that would start to change. She needed some friends that would stay by her side, especially when he couldn't.

The small hand in his had tightened, drawing him back. She swung their hands back and forth. "I think it'll be fun. I've never been to Italy before."

He had chuckled. "You've never been anywhere before sweetheart."

She had huffed out a very sassy sigh for such a young girl and he laughed harder than he had in a long time. It was easy, when he wasn't looking at her. Easy to love with all of his heart and not let it be tainted by loss.

"I'll call every night," she promised, linking their pinkies together as they got to the door. "Or at least text you goodnight. You have to text back otherwise I won't sleep."

"Ah, taking yourself hostage I see," he mused, kicking off his shoes once they were in.

"Uh-huh. If you want me to grow up healthy and tall then you need make sure I sleep well."

He had turned, kneeling in front of her and meeting her eyes for the first time without seeing his wife. Instead he saw a beautiful, brave child who was taking care of her dad more than he had taken care of her.

"That's all I want," he said earnestly, pulling her in for a hug.

Thin arms wrapped around his shoulders, a little nose pressing into his collar. "I know Dad."

When she turned ten he drove her to the airport, heart fluttering rapidly in his chest. "Are you sure they will get you when you land?"

"Yes dad, they have everything set up to take me straight to school. They told you that when we went to visit over the summer remember? And yesterday when you called to make sure. And this morning when you called again."

The whole neighborhood had seen them off. Even Hanazawa-san had seemed teary-eyed as they said their goodbyes. Nana had given them her dorm room address so they could send her little gifts if they wanted.

"You return as a fine lady, understood?" Hanazawa-san had sniffed, handing her a collection of handkerchiefs she had made up just for this occasion.

Nana had accepted them, distaste clear on her face but eyes warm as always. "I'll come back as a fine person Hanazawa-san."

The elderly woman had huffed, but her lips twitched tellingly.

"I'm sorry," Toshi ran a hand through his hair, triple checking the time to make sure they would not be late. "I just want to make sure you get there safe. I asked for time off to take you but with this time of year-"

"Dad," she tugged on his arm, pulling on him until he bent down to her height. She was getting so tall. "It'll be okay."

"I know," he hung his head.

Small hands (but not as small as they had once been, he realized sadly) smushed his cheeks together and lifted his head. She was smiling, short hair pulled back in a sunshine yellow bandana. Her front left canine was missing. "I'll be okay. You will too, I promise."

She let go of his face so she could hook their pinkies once more.

"We'll be okay," he smiled, eyes watery. "You'll call me as soon as you land?"

"I will."

"And when you get to your room?"

"I'll probably just text you for that one."

"And at night?"

"Of course!"

They had said goodbye right before she boarded her flight. Tight hugs and watery eyes, and then he was watching her walk away.

It was hard. He knew this would do them both some good, but it was so hard. Still, she deserved better. She deserved the best.

His heart caught in his throat when she turned around to wave at him, bright grin pasted on her face. He smiled just as bright, waving back just as enthusiastically.

They would both be okay.

-00-

"Window seat, nice," Nana grinned, plopping herself into her seat and tucking her backpack under her legs. She had some books from home, one from Tooru-san from down the road, and a little game console her dad had bought her specifically for this trip. She wore a short-sleeved blue shirt and a light green vest over that. Her legs were covered by the swaying dark blue skirt Hanazawa-san had made for her a few months ago. It was a girl day today.

"Italy is where everything will begin."

She rolled her eyes at the slithery voice in her head. "So you keep saying. I still haven't agreed with any of this."

"Then why go?" he sounded amused, like her answer was already decided.

"Look, I don't want any part in whatever you're trying to do," she told him for what felt like the thousandth time. "Saving the world and all that is great, but I don't really want to have a kid okay?"

Honestly, it was hard enough coming to terms with the fact that he was now a she. In the past life she had always been teased by her siblings for being rather effeminate, but it was different actually being female. Human bodies were fricken weird, okay? Adjusting to male weirdness was its own hurdle, she never thought she would have to adjust to both.

'You said you liked being a girl,' the ever invisible companion pointed out, sounding far too happy as per usual.

"I said I like some things about being a girl. Just like I liked some things about being a boy. Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't have minded the global warming thing."

"What?"

"Nothing. Shut up," she ordered him when her seatmate finally arrived. It was an older couple, thankfully. They seemed nice enough, and perfectly content on ignoring her.

The voice in her head ('imaginary friend', ha. She wished), which she had 'affectionately' named Snake, started talking again when she was one-year-old. He had then rambled on about the fate of the world, something called the Tri-ni-set, the Mafia, and a boy called Tsunayoshi. The boy who was, apparently, supposed to be her son.

Her son. Because she was a lady. And her body could do that now.

Awesome.

Coming to terms with being a girl hadn't been as hard as she thought it would be. Her siblings had always told her she was way to relaxed and accepting of things but she had always thought big things (like being reborn) would be difficult to process. Puberty would be an… experience, to be sure, and sometimes his brain would switch up on the pronouns (screw you Snake) but there really wasn't anything she could do about that besides move along. So, as with all things in either life, she figured 'eh, to heck with it' and did whatever she felt she needed to.

That didn't mean she wanted to have a baby. I mean… that's supposed to hurt a lot right? And it killed her mom in this life (which made her feel absolutely horrible. Poor dad). Pregnancy was, clearly, not a great time. The baby, sure, yeah, it's adorable. He loved kids. Shit. She loved kids. Would have loved to have some before, you know… the Death, but she had never, ever heard of a pregnant woman being happy about the trials and tribulations of actually having a baby. No, that part just sounded awful.

The only reason she hadn't one hundred percent shut down Snake was because… Well…

What if he was telling the truth? About the Tsuna kid? What if he was really going to save the world one day? Could she actually get in the way of that? And the kid himself, if he was going to live originally and her refusal to have kids took that from him then what did that make her?

'When you meet Sawada Iemitsu-'

She shoved her headphones over her head (which would do nothing, really, since he was in her head) to make it clear that she was ignoring him and pulled out her gaming pad to see what her Dad had put on there.

She was going to an all-girls school. She didn't plan on leaving anytime soon, and the only times she ever would, would be when she was traveling home to see her Dad. She would not meet this Iemitsu guy.

-00-

When Nana turned eighteen he returned home dressed in a long sleeve, button-up blue flannel shirt and jeans. It was a boy day that day, but his Dad didn't seem to notice the change in posture or clothes. He was a little shorter than he had been in the last life (which was aggravating but doable) and he had finally come to terms with the absolute horror of puberty (he had cried for days). He was eternally thankful that he had been bisexual in the last life because that would have been a hell of a lot harder to think around than it was. Now all he had to worry about was his part in a relationship because what the actual fuck do girls think on dates?!

Even as a girl, he did not understand girls. Or boys. Humans were fucking weird.

Pushing those mental crises out of the way, he returned home and was ecstatic to see his Dad again. Toshi was equally ecstatic. They were both thrilled when he looked him dead in the eye and burst into a wide grin that was not tinged by sadness or grief. Only love.

Toshi stayed home to finish the late dinner he had made for them, to celebrate. Nana had run down to the convenience store for one of their traditional cakes.

There had only been one left, and he just barely got there in time to snag it before the boy that had been wandering the isles got there first.

"Ah!" he had jumped, startled when Nana whipped in front of him and snatched it away. "S-sorry, I didn't realize you-"

He had trailed off, eyes wide and face flushing a brilliant red.

Nana wondered if he was dying. "You okay?"

"I-I'm fine!" his voice cracked (and ha! That was one thing he had not missed this time around). "I-I just- here! Let me pay for that!"

Nana scrunched up his nose. "Why?"

"U-uh," he flustered, attempting several times to make eye contact and failing repeatedly. "B-because you're b-beautiful?"

Nana blinked rapidly. Wow. He had been flirted with before, even flirted back a few times, but this guy was bold as heck. Also a bit of a mess, but that was okay. He was cute.

"I'll buy it myself," he told him, almost snickering when his shoulders slumped. "What's your name?"

Shaking off the rejection (surprising, for how shy and nervous he had been), he beamed at Nana with a crooked grin.

'Ah', he realized once again. 'I am still, absolutely, gay'. Did it count as being gay if he was a girl now? He even called himself 'she' more often than 'he' in these last few months (being surrounded by girls all the time seemed to be affecting that) so maybe when the girls in the dorms made him flush it would be gay that way instead? Agh. Whatever. Not important.

"I'm Sawada Iemitsu! May I ask your name?"

...Ah.

Shit.