Note: FYI this whole thing is super self-indulgent and I wrote it a long time ago lol I've kind of let it languish on my computer and just side-eyed it for a while because it's, like, really self-indulgent, but everything coming up with Yukine cracking finally prodded me into sucking it up and posting it. Might as well get it out there before it all goes down in canon lol

Part 1

Yato had been so careful to watch Yukine and keep him on a short leash after everything with his chipped name and the box threatened to start digging up old, dangerous memories, but it was just as he was finally starting to breathe again that they teetered on the edge of disaster. He had tried ignoring job calls for a while, but had given up on that after baby Ebisu's kidnapping. Yukine was having none of it, and Yato thought that maybe it would be good to keep the kid busy sometimes. Keep things normal.

It wasn't a decision he had made lightly, but it had probably been inevitable. He really did need to take all the work he could get, and Yukine didn't understand his reluctance and would only ask questions. The closer he could make things to normal, to the way things had been before Father and the heavens had decided to disrupt their lives, the better. He could still watch Yukine on jobs, and what would really happen? It had seemed like the obvious choice.

It might also have been the wrong one.

Yato had a weird feeling about the job when he first answered the phone and heard the voice filtering over the line, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what was tickling at the back of his mind and figured he was probably just imagining things. The husky, slightly slurred voice of the man asking for—demanding, really—their help was loud and forceful and angry as he ranted about some scam artist that had cheated him out of money.

Yato pulled the phone a little ways away from his ear with a wince and exchanged a bemused look with Yukine, who was leaning in to eavesdrop. Not that the shinki had to try that hard. This guy was definitely loud when he was upset.

"So," Yato asked finally after a couple more minutes of barely coherent ranting, "why didn't you go to the police?"

Silence fell and only static crackled through the line. Yukine whacked Yato on the arm and groaned.

"Idiot, you're going to lose us the job!" he hissed.

"I don't trust the police," the man said finally, defensively.

Yato quirked an eyebrow, a gesture that went unnoticed over the phone. "So…you've been doing something not exactly legal and got cheated?"

The line went quiet again, and Yukine dropped his face into his hands.

"Good job, bakagami," he grumbled. "You blew it."

It occurred to Yato that this shady guy probably was half a second away from hanging up, so he quickly grabbed Yukine's arm and teleported while the connection was still open. They materialized in a dingy apartment covered in a thick layer of dust and grime with dirty dishes and empty beer cans scattered about. To be honest, the guy should forget about the money and wish to have his place cleaned. Yato was pretty damn good at cleaning, if he did say so himself, and this place definitely needed it.

This line of thought ground to an abrupt halt and plunged headfirst out the window when he spotted the man gaping back at them. He was slouched over in a ratty old armchair, sandy-haired and middle-aged with a round face and foggy eyes and a beer can in one hand.

Yato's breath stuck in his throat, and his heart jumped high with a thud and crashed back down hard enough to crack like glass as the memories he'd buried in its darkest, damaged corner exploded behind his eyes.

"Y-you!" he choked out. It was dark, so dark, and the sliver of light was disappearing with only a glimpse of cold eyes and the faint scent of alcohol to mark that it had ever been there at all.

"Who the hell are you?" the man demanded. "What are you doing in my house? Holy shit, what…?"

Yato stepped in front of Yukine without a second thought, his body reacting on instinct, and threw out his arms protectively to shelter his kid behind him.

"Yato?" Yukine asked, confusion coloring his voice. "What's wrong? Do you know him?"

"Hm?" The man craned his neck and squinted his glassy eyes. "Huh, funny, you look kinda like–"

Yato lunged forward in a panic, crossing the distance in a heartbeat and slamming his hand across the bastard's mouth. The human mumbled his protests, but Yato pressed his hand hard against his mouth and squeezed his jaw like a vise as fury exploded white-hot in his chest and he leaned in.

"How dare you?" he hissed in the man's ear, quiet so Yukine couldn't hear but no less dangerous for it. The bastard's face went white and his eyes went wide, and Yato hoped he had nightmares of ancient, furious eyes boring into his soul long after he forgot the encounter. "I know what you did to your kid, and you'd better watch yourself before I do the same thing to you. His name is Yukine, and he is mine."

The man's eyes nearly bulged out of his face.

"Yato!" Yukine cried. "What are you doing? You can't just attack clients like that!"

"Where did you find my number?" Yato snarled. His gaze followed the shaking finger to the flyer wedged halfway beneath a beer can on the side table. His number and advertising pitch were scrawled across whatever the ad had originally been for. He released his victim to grab the paper and rip it up into a flurry of tiny scraps. "Give me your phone." The man hesitated, and Yato bared his teeth in a snarl, eyes flashing. "Give it to me."

He snatched the phone out of the guy's hand without waiting for compliance and opened up the call history to delete it all. He wasn't taking any chances. The man would forget meeting him soon enough, and it would be an awful shame if he stumbled across Yato's number again and the god lost control and did something he shouldn't.

"Yato!" Yukine hurried across the room to grab his arm. "Yato, stop it!"

The man swallowed and pressed himself as far back into his chair as he could go. "H-how–?"

Yato threw the phone back at him and glared. "Don't ever call me again. I believe in karma, and it will be a lot more painful if you get it from me." He threw his arm around Yukine's shoulders and pulled the spluttering shinki close. "You lost your chance."

They had to get out of there now. This was dangerous. Yukine's name was already fragile, and… So far he wasn't showing any signs of recognition, but it wasn't a risk Yato was willing to take.

He teleported to the first place that popped into his mind and dragged Yukine along with him. They materialized on a street mostly empty of people, and a chilly breeze swept past them.

"What the hell, Yato?" Yukine demanded, shrugging off the god's arm and glaring. "What was that?"

"He wasn't anyone worth helping," Yato said shortly.

"How do you expect to be a god of fortune when you attack people like that?"

"Oh well."

Yukine huffed out a frustrated breath and looked around. "Where even are we?"

"I don't know." Nothing immediately jumped out at Yato, but he wouldn't have been able to teleport here if he didn't know of it. "I just wanted to get out of there before I did something I would regret."

"Yato?" Yukine's features softened and he bit his lip as he studied the god's face. Quiet worry pinched Yato's heart. "Are you okay? You're shaking…"

Yato looked down at his hands. They were trembling. Actually, maybe his whole body was.

He was furious at that bastard and at himself for not doing anything. He was shaken from the memories chewing on the edges of his mind, the ones he carried so that Yukine didn't have to. But mostly he was terrified. He was terrified that this could send Yukine over the edge, work its way into the cracks and rip open a veritable Pandora's box.

But so far all he felt from Yukine, past his own raging emotions, was concern. It occurred to him that he had handled this all wrong from the get-go. If he hadn't reacted, Yukine would have no reason to suspect that anything strange was going on. But how was he supposed to do nothing? It had blindsided him so suddenly and painfully that he wouldn't have been able to contain his reaction even if he'd thought of it.

"Fine," he croaked.

Yukine's brows knit together, and the worry glowed brighter in his amber eyes. "Have you run across him before? I mean, you don't usually work with people more than once, but–"

"Oh," Yato said as it finally hit him. "This is where I named you."

There was a familiar-looking mailbox over there, where Yukine had been drifting. Up there, the streetlight Yato had jumped down on to claim the lost soul. Up further, the rooftops he and Hiyori had been running along to escape the ayakashi hunting them. Had it really been a year already?

Of course this was where he had come by instinct. This was where it had started, where he had given Yukine his second chance and picked up the burden of his first life for him. This was where the memories had first hit him like a freight train before he had locked them away as best he could. Before they had been dug up again.

"Really?" Yukine looked around curiously. "I don't remember much from then."

"Do you remember the words I used to name you?"

"Not really. Everything was pretty hazy at first, and I haven't seen another naming." Then Yukine shook his head as if shaking the curiosity right out. "What does that have to do with–?"

Yato shoved his hands deep into his pockets and stared blankly at the mailbox. "You, with nowhere to go and nowhere to return, I grant you a place to belong," he said quietly. "My name is Yato. Bearing a posthumous name, you shall remain here. With this name, I make thee my servant. With this name and its alternate, I use my life to make thee a regalia. Thou art Yuki. As a regalia, Setsu. Come, Sekki."

His words were quiet and didn't bear the weight of a command like they had then, but they weighed heavy on his heart just the same. He let out his breath and meticulously tamped down his out-of-control emotions just like he had back then. Just like he always did when he wasn't supposed to show them. Or feel them.

"O-oh… That's…" Yukine swallowed and shook his head. "But why–?"

"We gods use our lives to name shinki and bind them to us," Yato murmured, slouching down in his jersey as the winter breeze whispered past. "We bind you to our lives and write your names on our hearts to give you a place to belong when your soul can't move on or go back. It's why we feel your emotions and bear the weight of your sins, and why it hurts so much to lose shinki. It feels like having a piece of our heart ripped out, and then it's so empty."

He turned and took Yukine's face in his hands, meeting the shinki's startled gaze with solemn eyes. "I have named you and given you a piece of my life so that you could have a second chance at yours. I have given you a place to belong in my heart, in the space where I have written your name and bear your sins and feel your pain. You will always have a place to belong here for as long as you want it. Your name is Yukine, and you are mine. I want you to remember that."

Yukine stared back with wide eyes as the color crept into his cheeks and his emotions tightened Yato's chest. Then he shoved the god's hands away, crossed his arms over his chest, and glowered at the ground like it could hide his blush and misty eyes.

"What are you getting so weirdly sappy for?" he asked. "Gross."

Yato could feel one corner of his mouth twitching upward and his eyes softening as something finally loosened in his chest. His kid was such a teenager sometimes. And Yato would fight anything to keep him just the way he was.

"Let's go home," he said. "Maybe Hiyori has come over by now."

Yukine dropped the subject, by now knowing there was no point in pushing the god when he didn't want to talk about something, but Yato could still feel that edge of puzzled concern as they headed back to Kofuku's shrine. Hiyori wasn't there, so Yato shoved Yukine at Daikoku to take a shift in the shop and escaped upstairs.

He flopped over right onto the floor and folded his arms over his stomach as he stared up at the ceiling. Yukine was blissfully unaware downstairs just like he was supposed to be, but that didn't soothe Yato's melancholy. That anyone could do something like that to their kid was unthinkable. And to do it to Yato's kid…

Yukine had been robbed of his chance to grow up and have a proper family and live a happy life in the human world, and instead been left with a fear of the dark that he didn't understand and a dangerous Achilles' heel that could push him into crossing the line if something went wrong. Yato did the best he could, but he knew he couldn't make up for everything Yukine had lost. And with Father lurking around every corner deciding how best to use Yukine and Hiyori to control Yato, things were only getting more and more dangerous. If Father decided that Yukine was a threat that needed to be eliminated like Sakura, if he decided that the benefits of keeping him alive as leverage no longer outweighed the benefits of getting rid of him altogether…

Even if Father didn't interfere further, he'd already chipped Yukine's name with Chiki and the incident with the stone coffin had dragged everything a little too close to the surface. And today, stumbling across Yukine's father like that…

Just because Yukine seemed unaffected didn't mean that it couldn't cause problems later. How fragile was he right now?

Yato wasn't sure, but it twisted his stomach into knots. He let out his breath in a shaky sigh and closed his eyes. He relived Yukine's last moments again there in the dark, letting the memories play out and then carefully packing them away again. It wouldn't do any good to dwell on them any more than he had to.

He let his anger and grief and fear run their course, and then quietly packed those away too. He pulled himself back together one piece at a time, until he was sure he could wear a smile when Yukine returned.

"Yato?"

He opened his eyes and twisted his head around to see Hiyori standing in the doorway. "Oh, hey! You finally made it!"

"Are you alright?" she asked, worrying at her lip and peering at him with concerned eyes. "Yukine says you freaked out on a job earlier…"

"Yup, I'm fine!" He sat up and hopped to his feet with a grin. "Hey, wanna go out? I bet Yukine is almost done."

He practically flew out the door, dragging Hiyori and Yukine with him. He had no plan in mind, but the echoes of the memories were making him claustrophobic and he wanted to be out under the sky with the people he cared about the most. There was a whole world out there that he wanted to give Yukine. A whole wide world beyond the box.

They really just wandered around in the chilly winter air until Yukine started complaining about the cold and insisted they duck inside a restaurant to eat and talk, but it was enough. Yato kept a close eye on him, searching for any sign that something was wrong, but the kid seemed perfectly fine. This didn't entirely soothe Yato's worry, but he let himself relax just a little.

He kept himself together until well after the sky had darkened and Yukine was tucked safely into bed. Sleep eluded him, but he didn't bother fussing about it. He had suffered countless sleepless nights over the centuries and knew when it was pointless to try.

He wedged himself on the windowsill, back to the frame and one leg hugged to his chest while the other dangled above the floor. His worries and woes had always surfaced more persistently in the darkness, when there was no one to see him break.

Tonight, he was watching Yukine toss and turn restlessly on his futon. The kid didn't normally move that much in his sleep, and Yato's chest was feeling peculiarly tight. Dreams were a dangerous place, wedged somewhere between the conscious and unconscious. They were the first place that fragments of memory would begin seeping through the cracks and poking at the mind.

Watching Yukine twitching around was only heightening Yato's anxiety, and he was debating waking the kid up just in case. He was worried that the incident with the stone coffin had already started kicking up nightmares of the box, even if Yukine thought they were just related to the traumatizing affair with the heavens. The incident today could start dredging up new bits and pieces to insert into the already dangerous dreams.

He was still debating when Yukine sat up with a start and sucked in a deep lungful of air. His ragged breathing filtered through the still air, and the echoes of fear bounced around Yato's chest.

"Nightmare?"

Yukine jumped and twisted around in a flurry of blankets. "Y-Yato? Holy crap, you scared the life out of me!" He clutched at the front of his pajamas and frowned at the god perched on the windowsill. "What in the world are you doing? That's really creepy, you know."

"Sorry." Yato tilted his head and studied the shinki illuminated in the circle of lamplight, running his gaze over the wide eyes and tousled hair. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Yukine muttered.

Yato was unconvinced. He didn't know how bad the dreams were or what was creeping into them, but he was sure that the box would be there as the common element between forgotten memories and reality.

He shifted his weight to press the tips of his toes to the floor for balance and opened the window. He slid it all the way open and resettled himself more comfortably on the slightly wider ledge. The leg bent at the knee fell to the side, leaving his foot wedged beneath his other thigh and his knee poking out into the night.

"Come here," he said.

"Why?" Yukine asked, suspicion gleaming in his amber eyes. He shivered as the room began filling with chilly air. "Shut that thing before we freeze."

But Yato remembered that Hiyori had said Yukine wanted the window open after the box.

"Come on, kid." He shrugged out of his jacket and arched an eyebrow. Yukine sighed but untangled himself from the blankets to pad across the floorboards. "Come on up."

Yukine stared. "Up…there?"

"Yup."

"No thanks." The shinki pulled a face. "I'll probably fall off the roof or something."

"Oh, please. It's not that hard. Come on. Do you really think I'd let you fall?"

"Yes," he muttered. "That sounds like something you'd do—push me off the roof for fun and get a laugh out of it."

But he made an aborted motion to climb up, before hesitating and eyeing the small space. He let Yato take his arm and guide him up to sit with his back against the god's chest. His nervousness danced like butterflies in Yato's stomach, but Yato wrapped an arm around his waist.

"How mean," Yato said with a soft laugh.

"What are we doing up here?"

He hummed absently and draped his jersey over Yukine's shoulders. "Here."

"Gross. When was the last time you washed this thing?"

"Contrary to popular belief, I wash all my clothing regularly, thanks. I'm not a total slob."

"If you say so," Yukine said doubtfully, but he slid his arms into the sleeves. "Seriously, what are you doing? I don't know why you always sit up here anyway. It's weird. And it's, like, really late and I'm tired." He glanced back at the circle of light his lamp cast over the futon, and his anxiety ratcheted up a notch.

"Look up there." Yato pointed out at the sky.

"At what?"

Yato wrapped his arms snugly about Yukine and pulled him close, dropping his chin onto the kid's head as he stared out at the night. "It looks dark, but there are so many stars and the moon is so bright. And you wouldn't be able to see them at all if not for the darkness. It's pretty, isn't it?"

Yukine glanced back at the lamp again and wriggled around a bit, but then fell still once more. "Since when are you a stargazer? And seriously, could you learn the meaning of personal space?"

But he was watching the stars now and didn't slide back to the floor, and Yato smiled into his hair. Yato let his gaze wander about the star-spangled sky, drifting across the pinpricks of light smattering the darkness and the black voids between.

"It's like the sky stretches on forever," he mused. "There's a big world out there under the sky, like you could run forever out in the open air."

Yukine was quiet for a long moment. "Yeah," he said softly.

Yato stared up at the tiny stars high above, stretching across the whole world and vanishing into the recesses of the universe. "Makes you feel kind of small, doesn't it?"

Another pause. "You're a god. I don't think you're supposed to feel small."

"Well, shinki aren't supposed to be sarcastic little brats, but here you are. Here we are."

"Whatever."

They lapsed into silence, with only the chill and darkness and twinkling stars for company. That and each other.

Yato held Yukine close long after he had calmed and drifted back into sleep with his head lolling back against the god's shoulder. He waited until Yukine had given up fighting sleep before letting out a sigh. How Yukine could sleep up here was beyond him, but he supposed it must be easier when there was someone holding you to make sure you didn't fall.

He rested his chin on the nest of unruly blond hair again and settled in to keep watch for the night. The stars shone brightly high above, but the wide world they stretched over, the one that he wanted to give Yukine, felt tight and suffocating around him as the chain tightened around his neck.