Juno Beach, Florida

Spring, 2014

"Remind me again why I have to wear this thing?" Rumple complained as he tugged at the red silk bow tie that felt more like a noose around his neck. Belle giggled from her place on the edge of the bed in their summer home's master bedroom.

"You wear ties all the time. Why does this one bother you?" she asked.

"Because it feels like a bloody noose, that's why," he grumbled while he fastened the last two buttons on the red silk vest he wore beneath his black jacket. "I can only imagine the complaints my sons are making right now since neither one of them enjoys dressing formally."

Belle rose and smoothed out the wrinkles in the skirt of the strapless red silk gown she wore. Although her husband preferred seeing her in blue, the gown she wore accented her curves perfectly. The dress required several fittings before it was comfortable enough for the once again expecting mother.

A loud wail sounded from the playpen beside the bed. Rumple chuckled and reached down to pick up his furious daughter. "Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the playpen," he murmured as he kissed her forehead. "Today is a happy day, Hope, my sweetheart. Your brothers are getting married so can you put on a pretty smile for me?" The child quieted down, her small lips forming a faint smile.

"I don't know how you do that. It takes me hours it seems to get her to calm down but she does it immediately for you," Belle remarked. "She's definitely Daddy's girl."

"Yes you are," he cooed to the toddler. "And any day now you'll get to see your little brother Nathaniel," he said as his shifted Hope to one arm and caressed his wife's belly.

"I have a feeling our son is going to be the complete opposite of his sister if this pregnancy is any indication. Every woman we know tells me they've never seen such a quiet baby. If I didn't know any better I'd think he's been in there reading books the whole time."

Rumple chuckled. "It wouldn't surprise me. It's this little imp that is going to put more gray on my head especially when she starts dating and we've already seen the chaos she causes with magic when she puts her mind to it."

"We have a while yet for the dating nightmare."

"Thank the gods," he muttered. "Let's get going before Bae and Diego wear holes in my floors."

The two grooms waited at the bottom of the staircase. Bae wore a black silk tuxedo with a red vest and tie that matched his father's while Diego was in his officer's uniform. The rest of the wedding party was gathered in the sitting room and the guests were waiting out in the gardens, the majority being from Storybrooke while only a small number came from Miami and Juno as the Golds were still integrating into society in both places.

"You're not ready to pass out, are you lads?" Rumple teased.

"Aww, knock it off Pop!" Diego moaned. "I'm gonna screw up...I know it."

"He's not good at public speaking and is scared to death he'll mess up his vows." Bae spoke up. "I'm good."

"Well as soon as everyone else gets in here we can get started."

"We're coming," Regina said as she emerged from the sitting room with Henry. There had been much debate over who would stand up with Bae at the altar. Both Darling brothers wanted the honor and nearly came to blows over it until Rumple placed them both in a bubble and made them stay there until they fought it out but Bae ended any debate by deciding that his son should be the one with him and Emma wanted no other matron of honor than her best friend Regina. Minutes later Diego's best man Brian Matheson came out with Julianne, who was her matron of honor. Diego knew it still broke his bride to be's heart that it would not be Alexis standing with her as she always wanted and Julianne assured her Alexis would be there in spirit.

As the wedding party gathered, Belle couldn't help thinking about her own wedding. The only dark spot had been her father's refusal to give her away or even attend the wedding. She'd been prepared to walk down the aisle alone when Eric and Ariel stepped in to do the honors. Fortunately, her daughters-in-law had plenty of family to represent them.

"Come on Hope, Mama and Daddy have to get your brothers married," Granny said softly as she took the baby from Rumple's arms while Pinocchio held Ariel and Eric's daughter Melody. Belle and Rumple were expecting their child to throw one of her tantrums until she saw Melody nestled in Pinocchio's arms. The two babies enjoyed being together from the moment they were born. Rumple and Belle kissed their daughter and Granny and Pinocchio went out to the garden to take their seats.

"All right, lads. Let's get going," Rumple said to his sons as he linked his arm through his wife's and walked out to the garden. Jefferson, acting as announcer for the wedding stood near the altar to explain who was who to the mixed audience while Leroy and Sneezy were acting as ushers.

"Grandmother of our second bride Channon McDermott, Mrs. Fiona McDermott," he announced as Sneezy led the elderly lady down the carpeted pathway to her seat in the front row while Leroy took his place beside Rumple and Belle. They arrived from Scotland two days earlier and hadn't had a chance to meet the Golds yet although Channon had explained what they were. The McDermotts were used to keeping secrets and finding out they were among a group of real live fairy tale characters hadn't fazed them.

"Shall we?" he asked the couple.

"Lead the way Grumpy," Belle said with a smile.

"Father and stepmother of our grooms Baelfire Gold and Diego Rivera, Rumplestiltskin and Belle Gold."

"Mrs. McDermott," Rumple greeted his future in-law warmly.

"Call me Fiona, lad," she corrected as she grabbed him and kissed his cheek.

"Lad? Madam, I'm three hundred years older than you are!" he exclaimed and laughed.

"You still look like a lad to me," the elderly woman teased. "And a handsome one at that. If you weren't already taken...my apologies lassie," she added to Belle who was giggling.

Great gods in Heaven, even Channon's grandmother is flirting with me!

"I've gotten used to it Fiona," Belle said.

"Well, he's handsome and..virile...two children in four years. Not lacking in the bedroom department, eh lassie?" she asked Belle who blushed.

Rumple buried his face in his hands and shook his head in disbelief. "I'm in hell," he muttered. "Just do me a favor and keep your hands to yourself you saucy old wench!"

Fiona snorted. "Lad, if I want to check out the goods, I'll check out the goods...or I'll just ask your wife. I'm old but not dead yet. I can still have a good roll in the sheets when I get the urge."

"What in the hell have I gotten myself into?" he moaned.

"Mother of our bride Channon McDermott, Miss Catriona McDermott," Jefferson announced while Sneezy brought Catriona McDermott over to her chair beside Fiona.

"Mum, why does Rum look like he wants to crawl in a hole?" Catriona demanded of her mother. Fiona cackled.

"Your mother's flirting with him," Belle giggled.

"Mum! You could've waited for me!" Catriona protested.

"Oh no...no no..no! What is it with the women in your family!" Rumple growled at Fiona.

"Well, wouldn't be the first time we've shared a man, eh Cattie my girl? And we are proud whores," she reminded him.

"Aye," Catriona agreed and smirked. "Only my daughter won't share that fine specimen she's marrying, dammit all."

"Wonders never cease," Rumple muttered.

"Mother of our bride Emma, Snow White," Jefferson announced as Leroy escorted Snow to her seat.

"Did I miss something?" she asked Belle who was still chuckling.

"Don't ask," Rumple hissed.

Bae and Diego walked out to the front of the aisle with the pastor and waited for the rest of the wedding party to enter. They would alternate between pairs from Bae's party then Diego's.

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Emma and groom Baelfire Gold, Miss Wendy Darling escorted by Mr. Michael Darling."

Rumple and Belle glanced back at the pair, beaming with pride as the siblings walked up the path to stand on Bae's side.

"Thank God we found some place for those boys in the wedding party or we would've had a brawl on our hands," Rumple whispered to his wife.

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Channon McDermott and groom Diego Rivera, Mrs. Elizabeth Molk escorted by Mr. Jonathan Darling," Jefferson announced as Beth and Michael followed his brother and Wendy down the path to stand on Diego's side.

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Emma and Baelfire Gold, Azkadellia Hopper escorted by Mr. Archie Hopper."

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Channon McDermott and Diego Rivera, Mrs. Victoria Dennison escorted by Mr. Drake Dennison." Belle glanced over at the man Channon once described as the love of her life and the father of Victoria's teenage son. Victoria and Julianne managed to locate the fathers of their children with Rumple's help, unaware they had a connection to Channon's family or that they were former MI6 agents in hiding after being falsely accused of treason.

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Emma and Baelfire Gold, Miss Ruby Lucas, escorted by Dr Victor Whale."

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Channon McDermott and Diego Rivera, Mrs. Melanie Willis escorted by Mr. Colin Whitmore," Jefferson announced as the spouses of Channon's matron of honor and Diego's best man entered together.

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Emma and Baelfire Gold, Mrs. DG Cain escorted by Mr. Wyatt Cain."

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Channon McDermott and Diego Rivera, Miss Angelina Whitmore escorted by Mr. Andre Dennison." Julianne and Victoria's teenagers were the youngest bridesmaid and groomsman, their parents watching with pride as they moved into their positions on the McDermott/Rivera side of the wedding party.

"Bridesmaid and groomsman of bride Emma and Baelfire Gold, Mrs Ariel Willamett and Mr. Eric Williamet." The former mermaid and her prince also waved to Rumple and Belle and their daughter who had fallen asleep on Pinocchio's shoulder and joined their group.

The final bridesmaid and groomsman were from Diego and Channon's wedding party. Belle smiled as she watched Miranda Santanna walk up the aisle on the arm of her husband Thomas Matheson. Miranda would also be singing at the reception much to her pleasure and she already knew what song she wanted to hear as she danced with Rumple.

"Matron of Honor of bride Emma, Miss Regina Mills escorted by Best Man of Baelfire Strogoff Gold, Mr. Henry Mills Strogoff-Gold!" Jefferson announced as Henry led his mother over to her position on Emma's side of the altar while he took his place beside his father.

"Rumple, are you crying?" Belle asked softly as she heard her husband sniffling.

"Have something in my eyes," he lied then reached into his pocket for his handkerchief and wiped tears from his eyes before his wife could see them but she had and clasped his hand in hers.

"And that is your answer why we find this man so irresistable lassie," Fiona said Belle. "Most men you'd have to kick in the ballocks to get to show any emotion. "Here lad, use mine," Fiona said and handed Rumple her handkerchief. "Be needing that back once our wee Channon comes in."

"Matron of Honor of bride Channon McDermott, Mrs Julianne Whitmore, escorted by Best Man of groom Diego Rivera, Mr. Brian Matheson." Julianne and Brian took their places on Channon and Diego's side of the altar, Brian patting his friend's shoulder in support.

"Diego looks like he wants to faint," Fiona whispered to Rumple. "You got any mumbo jumbo you can use to calm him a bit, lad?"

"I'll have to keep it simple or we'll have a passed out groom and an angry bride," he said and waved his hand to send a mild calming spell to his adoptive son who seemed to relax a bit.

"I woulda given 'im a shot of good ole Irish whiskey," Catriona said and chuckled. "Right, Mum?"

Fiona swatted her daughter. "Just because your da was half sauced at our wedding doesn't mean we have to repeat tradition! Please tell me you at least had enough common sense to be sober at your wedding?" she demanded of Rumple.

"Was too nervous to drink," he confessed. "Can't say the same for Bae though. Had a devil of a hangover the next morning because he drank enough for both of us."

The last three people to enter were Grace Hatter and the Zimmerman twins. The girls were the flower girls for both wedding parties and Hansel was acting as their ring bearer.

Blue stood up and the rest of the wedding guests followed suit as the traditional wedding march began to play.

"Our first bride, Miss Emma Swan, escorted by her father, David Nolan...otherwise known as Prince Charming!" With her arm linked through her father's Emma came down the aisle first in a strapless silk and lace red gown with a short skirt. They stopped behind Bae. Blue moved to stand beside her former apprentice.

"Who gives this woman in marriage?"

"Her mother and I do," Charming announced and placed her hand in Bae's. Snow kissed her cheek and then returned to their seats. Rumple handed Fiona her handkerchief back when he saw the tears in her eyes as she and her daughter heard their family's piper playing the clan's anthem "White Rose of Perth" on his bagpies.

"Our second bride Miss Channon McDermott escorted by Mr David Molk," Jefferson announced as Channon walked down the aisle with the patriarch of the Whitmore-McDermott Clan. Even Rumple became emotional hearing the bagpipes because his curse memories had given him ties to Scotland. David wore a kilt while Channon had a tartan made of the clan's colors draped over her fifteenth century styled wedding gown. Catriona patted her mother's arm and went to stand on the other side of her daughter.

"Who gives this woman in marriage?"

"Her mother, grandmother and I do," David announced while Catriona lifted her daughter's veil and David placed her hand in Diego's. Catriona returned to her seat, laughing through her own tears while her mother was weeping on Rumple's shoulder while he patted her back.

"Mum, you're not fooling me one bit. You just wanted an excuse to cozy up!" Catriona chastised. Fiona looked up and glared over at her daughter.

"Not like you wouldn't missy!" she retorted. "And that cologne he's wearing..."

"I know," Belle murmured as she rested her head on his other shoulder and indulged in her own wicked thoughts that she planned to act on after the baby was born.

"Ohhh that man of mine looks dazzling in the kilt," Beth murmured. "He'll be wearing it again."

"Why me?" Rumple moaned, grateful his sons were too entranced with their brides to notice that the three women he was sitting with were ogling him like a rooster in a henhouse. Belle's attentions he enjoyed while he wanted to run and hide from the McDermott wenches. Guests, however, had noticed and were concealing snickers behind their hands. He was never going to live this down. He dreaded the photographic evidence popping up on Facebook the next morning. He quickly detached Fiona from his shoulder so that he could pay attention to the rest of the ceremony much to her disappointment.

"Ladies and gentleman...I give you Mr. and Mrs. Baelfire Gold and Mr. and Mrs. Diego Rivera!" the pastor announced as the newly married couples faced the congregation. Rumple and Belle rose from their seats and embraced Bae and Tink first.

"Thank the gods I'm free from those two!" he exclaimed.

"What did we miss?" Bae inquired.

"Oh, let's just say flirting with Rumple seems to be a McDermott family trait," Belle chuckled.

"What? Who? Channon's mother or her grandmother?"

"Both," Rumple and Belle said in unison.

"Both?!" Emma and Bae exclaimed, laughing themselves.

"What's so funny over here?" Diego asked as he approached them with Channon on his arm.

"Papa had to fend off Catriona and Fiona," Bae answered.

Channon beamed. "Whaddya know, Grammy still has it in her. Oh and Rum...watch your ass. I mean it literally."

"Why?" he asked, dreading what her answer would be. He had his answer when he felt someone giving him a hard smack on his backside and turned to face a grinning Fiona.

"Do you mind?" he cried. Belle buried her face in his shoulder and laughed again.

"You and that nice backside of yours owe me a dance," she said and walked over to Diego, swatting his. "Ummm...yours too. Now let's see if it runs in the family...oh it does! You too lad!" she said to Bae after he received his own smack while their wives had tears streaming down their cheeks as they laughed.

"Shameless old wench!" Rumple muttered.

"Oh Cattie! Come here love!" Fiona called to her daughter.

All three men thrust their hands behind their backs to cover their bottoms, knowing exactly what the elderly woman had planned. Channon glanced over at Emma and Belle who nodded and moved behind their husbands to move their hands, giving Catriona a clear shot.

"What the...Belle don't you even...!"

"Emma!"

"Channon!"

"Here ya go Mum!" Channon announced. Catriona grinned and stepped up to each man, smacking him.

"Why don't you the rest of the men," Rumple growled.

"Oh we will...but you owe me a dance too...all of you do," Catriona said. "C'mon Mum! Let's go get us some booty!"

"Booty?" Belle giggled.

"Ummm...don't you think we should warn them first?" Diego asked as they watched the two women approach Wyatt.

"No. I am going to enjoy this," Rumple said and grinned evilly.

Wyatt was in a deep conversation with David when he felt a hard smack on his backside.

"What in Ozma's name!?"

He spun around to face the elderly woman who was supposed to be Channon's grandmother however, she still looked young. She stood with Channon's mother. The two of them looked like sisters.

"Have at it, Cattie my girl!" Catriona smacked him a bit harder.

"You pack quite a wallop!" Wyatt laughed. "But shouldn't we be introduced first? Sheriff Wyatt Cain."

"Soooo my boy, are we going to have a dance with you and your lovely booty this evening?" Fiona asked.

He blushed. "Ummmm, I guess so!" he glanced over at his wife.

"Ah go for it Tin Man!"

"Wonderful...your turn princey boy!" Fiona said as she approached Charming and smacked him. Catriona followed suit.

"Ummm...yikes! I...youch...!"

"No dance with this one, Cattie. Too much of a softie, I like a firm one with a little spice like those Gold men and our Sheriff here." Fiona said and they walked away. Wyatt sniggered while Charming glared at him.

"What the hell was that?" Emma asked as she and Snow approached them chuckling.

"You've just met the 'Backside Bandits'," Channon said as she and the rest of the Gold/Rivera clan joined them.

"Backside Bandits?"

"Back in Scotland when they recruit men for the house they make their decisions based on how firm their butts are," Channon explained.

"Now they're going for Robin Hood...better go warn Regina before she roasts 'em!" Tink said as she dashed over to her friend and whispered in her ear. The former Evil Queen threw back her head and laughed hysterically when she saw her boyfriend get corned by the McDermott women and smacked. "What's the verdict, ladies?" she called out while the former thief wanted to hide in the palm trees.

"He'll do," Catriona called back.

"Well if they would get done molesting every adult male here, we could get the reception started," Rumple muttered.

"You gotta admit, it is kinda funny Pop." Diego teased. His father glared at him.

As they were walking into the ballroom Belle gasped as she felt a sharp pain in her lower back.

"Belle, is something wrong my sweetheart?" Rumple asked worriedly.

"No, no...it was nothing...just a little pain that's all."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine," she insisted as they sat down. While they waited for the brides and grooms to enter she felt another sharp pain and reached for her husband's hand. "Rumple..." she moaned. "I...I think it's time."

"Time for...that time?!" he cried.

"Yesss..." she groaned through her pain.

"Henry!" he called out. His grandson ran over to their table.

"What's going on Grandpa?"

"Belle's having your uncle and I have to take her to the hospital. Can you make our excuses to your father and Uncle Diego please and tell Granny she may need to keep Hope a bit longer?" Rumple asked as he helped his wife to her feet.

"Rumple, you shouldn't be driving her there yourself," Regina said as she approached them.

"And just what do you suggest, dearie?" he asked sarcastically. "We can't just pop in!"

"Rumple!" Belle wailed. "If you don't quit stalling I'm going to end up having our son right here and I am not thrilled with that idea!"

"Grandpa, Jimmy's got the car running so you and Belle are going in the limo and Dad said he and Uncle Diego are gonna go ahead of you in his car with the siren on so people get outta the way," Henry explained when he returned.

"Your father and uncle should stay here with their brides and their guests!" Rumple snapped.

"You're not talking us out of it, Papa," Bae insisted as he and Diego escorted the couple out to the limo with their brides close behind.

"You get us to the hospital quickly but in one piece Jimmy or so help me you will become a snail!" Rumple hissed at their driver. Jimmy chuckled.

"Rumple...quit being such a...ahhhh...beast and get in this car!" Belle shouted. "Oh gods..why did I let you do this to me...again!?" she moaned once they were in the limo and speeding off toward the hospital.

"You had no objections at the time, my sweetheart."

She glared at him. "You had the easy part. Next time I am gonna find a spell that will make you have it, not me!"

"Oh you can try dearie but there's no spell in the world that will allow a man to deliver a baby."

"Ooohhhhhh Nathaniel you were so quiet all these...why do you have to be difficult now?"

"Belle, sweetheart, try not to talk."

"You keep quiet!" she barked.

He should have been prepared, she was worse when she was delivering Hope mostly because it was her first time giving birth and what happened was nothing like she'd read in her books, lasting ten hours and their child's magic was already manifesting itself. He was hoping their son would take pity on them and not take as long being born.

"Rumple...my water just broke!" she cried.

"Jimmy for the love of God, hurry the hell up! I don't want to be delivering my son myself!" he snarled.

"Almost there, Mr. Gold."

By the time they got her settled in the delivery room Belle's contractions were closer together and more intense. She looked at her husband, her blue eyes pleading with him to use his magic to help her but as before he knew using magic on a pregnant woman was dangerous. He could only stay by her side, hold her hand and whisper words of encouragement in her ear. It was its own form of magic and as if their son heard his mother's thoughts, he decided not to keep her in agony for long. Less than three hours after her labor started Nathaniel Robert Gold made his entrance with a small cry.

"In the twenty years I've been in practice this has to be the quietest newborn I've ever heard," the doctor said as he handed the baby to the nurse to clean. Belle and Rumple laughed through their tears remembering their daughter's far more dramatic entrance.

"Oh, our first was bit louder," Rumple quipped.

"And here he is," the nurse said softly as she placed Nathan into his mother's arms while Rumple leaned over and kissed his wife.

"I love you," he whispered. "And I love you too Nathaniel."

All the new parents wanted to do when they returned home was fall into bed and sleep for at least a day even though it would not be possible with two young children in the house. Rumple was used to being awakened at all hours by a screaming infant while Belle was still adjusting to it. Most of the time Rumple was already in the room and had their daughter reasonably calm by the time she walked in but she refused to go to sleep until she heard her mother's voice telling her a story while walking her around the room. They decided that if they wanted another child they would wait until Hope and Nathaniel were a bit older or just be content spoiling the grandchildren they expected their older children to provide them with as well as spending more time with the one they already had.

Jimmy unlocked the front door while Rumple escorted his wife and their son into the house. As they entered the living room, he froze in place, his cane crashed to the floor and his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at the sight that met his eyes.

"What...?" Belle whispered.

"Sweetheart, go on upstairs. I'll take care of this," he hissed.

"But..."

"Go on!"

Belle cradled the baby against her chest and and went upstairs to their bedroom. Granny Lucas was asleep in a chair beside Hope's playpen. Belle placed Nathaniel in the empty crib beside his sister's playpen and gently shook the older woman awake.

"Thank you for looking after her for us, Granny," she said softly.

"It was no trouble at all. You go on and get some sleep. I'll keep an eye on you until Rum comes up. Where is he by the way?"

"He has a situation to take care of downstairs and thankfully the walls in this room are thick because we won't have to hear him once he starts yelling," Belle muttered as she crawled under the covers. "And they'll get no sympathy from me either."

'WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PEOPLE DO TO MY HOUSE?!" Rumple roared at the group of people passed out in various places in his living room and the living room itself in disarray. Robin was the first to awaken and lowered his head sheepishly as he addressed the sorcerer who'd once tried to wipe the floor with him for stealing a wand.

"Ummm..we made a bit of a mess none of us were...ahhh...in any condition to clean up."

"My living room looks like a goddam frat house during rush week! I want all you sons of bitches up off your asses and putting this room back the way it was or so help me God I'll turn you into the pigs you've made of yourselves!"

"Can't turn me into one," Regina muttered from her place beside the former thief.

"Don't count on it, Regina! Now get up!"

"What's all the commotion, lad...Good God in Heaven, what a mess!" Fiona exclaimed as she came up behind him with her daughter close at her heels. "Not to worry lad, I'll get these lazy asses moving without you having to tire yourself zapping 'em." Fiona said to Rumple who was angry enough to unleash the Dark One for an encore. "Cattie my girl, did you happen to bring The Bruiser?" she asked her daughter. Catriona smirked.

"That I did, Mum. Not quite what I had in mind to use it for but I'll get it."

"What's The Bruiser?" Rumple asked.

"You'll see lad, you'll see," the older woman said, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Catriona returned minutes later holding a thick wooden paddle in her hands and handed it to her mother. Fiona smirked at the sorcerer as she smacked the paddle in her palm. "Now then lad, here is how this old lass administers some discipline. May need you to put in a few wallops for me if my hand gets tired, Cattie."

"Right behind you, Mum."

Rumple watched with a mixture of shock and amusement as the two women sauntered over to where Diego and Channon lay. Catriona turned him over while Fiona gave him a hard smack with the paddle.

"Owwww!" Diego howled as he jumped to his feet and rubbed his backside. "I'm not ten anymore!"

"Well, you were acting like it. Now you grab some rags and a bucket of soap and water and start scrubbing the shite off these walls or you'll sporting blisters on your arse. You too Channon!" she snapped at his wife who quickly got up. Hearing the commotion, various other members of the wedding party started waking up and got moving once they saw Fiona coming toward them with the paddle.

"Fiona, do you mind if I borrow this?" Rumple asked, indicating the paddle.

"Have at it, lad."

Rumple walked over to where Bae lay on the floor on his side snoring. He raised the paddle and smacked Bae's backside hard.

"Owww what the...dammit Papa, I'm not a kid anymore!" he protested as he rubbed his sore backside.

"No but you'll wish you were never born! Now get your ass up and scrub your mess off my walls and carpets! You too, dearie!" he snapped at Emma.

"Huh? Wha...?" she moaned.

"Get up!" Rumple snarled.

The young woman sat up slowly and gasped in shock. "Ohhhh shit," she moaned as she surveyed the mess. It wasn't as bad when she passed out during a game of truth or dare with Robin, Bae and Regina but it quickly went from bad to complete disaster quickly. She glanced over at the coffee table and saw the scratches from hers and Regina's heels when they did a strip dance on it on a dare from Bae, hoping she was sober enough to use a spell that would make them vanish before Rumple had a chance to see them. She also had to find her bra and panties...God only knew where they ended up. They had to be with Regina's somewhere and the sooner she found them the better because it was too damned drafty in just her bridesmaid's dress!

She crawled over to where Regina lay and shook her. "Gina, c'mon, we gotta get up!"

"Noooo..."

"Come on dammit, we have to and find...you know what!"

The former Evil Queen's eyes opened. "Oh shit...I don't remember where I...oh my God!" she gasped when she looked up.

"Who do these belong to and why the hell aren't they on your bodies?!" Rumple barked as he held up two strapless bras with one hand and pointed to a lamp where two pairs of panties hung. Every other newly awakened female in the room issued a quick denial of ownership. Rumple walked over to where Emma and Regina were sitting and dropped the bras in their laps, their silence labeling them the guilty parties. "You, I expect this kind of behavior from," he said as he pointed at Regina. "You, on the other hand, Miss Swan, need not follow her example! You can collect the rest of your undergarments yourselves because I am not touching them!" he added as he walked away.

"You look like you're about to pass out, lad. Go on up to bed with your lassie and me and Cattie will keep these twits in line," Fiona said softly.

Rumple chuckled. "Oh I have no doubt of that."

"And by the way...I will be getting a dance from you and that backside of yours before I go back to Scotland."

"I'll make you deal...if you can get these assholes to put my house back in order I'll give you and your daughter two dances each...and in one of my old outfits since I hear you have a fondness for a man in leather."

She grinned. "Nice incentive there, lad. Very well, I accept."

"And the deal is struck," he said as he shook her hand and left the room.

"Ohhhh Cattie," Fiona called out.

"Yes, Mum?"

"We've been promised two dances each from the man who has the best backside in this house in leather if we can get these twits to make this place look like it was before the bomb went off so let's make sure they follow through."

"Don't worry...they will," Catriona threatened as she smacked the paddle in her palm. "I see people slacking over there!" she yelled. "Get scrubbing or you'll be getting well acquainted with The Bruiser here!"

"What's all the yelling about?" Archie asked when he and Az came downstairs.

"Oh Holy Jesus," Beth exclaimed.

"Oh boy! Someone's in trouble!" David added.

"Deege, Ambrose, Wyatt, what the hell?" Az demanded of her sister, brother-in-law and friend when she saw them frantically scrubbing stains off the walls.

"Ummm...the party kinda ran late," DG said sheepishly.

"Really late...OWW!" Ambrose yelped.

"Less talkie more scrubbie, lad!" Fiona growled, waving the paddle in his face.

"This is cruel and unsual..."

"Zipperhead, do the smart thing and zip it!" Wyatt snapped.

"Bite me..."

"She's comin back, both of you...shut up!" DG cried.

"I guess we'll leave you all to it," David chuckled. "Some of us were smart enough to go to bed after the reception, right Archie?"

"My conscience is clear," Archie replied with a smirk. Regina flipped him off before she got smacked again.

"Queenie, I wanna see those dainty hands calloused before lunch!"

"Oh they will be," she muttered.

Belle awoke when she heard her husband enter their bedroom.

"Did you turn them all into the pigs they are?" she asked angrily. "Food all over the floor and walls...beer cans...beer bottles...this house is not a zoo!"

"Be grateful you didn't see the panties on the lamp."

"What?!" she screamed, waking both of the children. She jumped out of bed and picked up Nathaniel while Rumple picked up Hope. They sat down on the bed with the children in their arms. "Mommy's sorry she yelled. She's just mad as hell at the idiots downstairs who made our home a mess. Thankfully some of them didn't participate."

"Snow and Charming will be having a talk with their daughter. I think our sons learned their lessons."

"So what did you do to them?"

"I unleashed the Backside Bandits on them all...except for Bae. I walloped his ass myself." He laughed. "They actually have a paddle they call The Bruiser...and I promised them if they make those idiots get the house back to what it was, I'd give them two dances in my gray and black leather outfit."

"Mmmm...even I'd want a dance with you in that...before I took it off. You do have it here, don't you?"

"It'll be arranged because if I know those two, they'll come though."

"They can have their two dances but you're mine afterwards."

"I always am." Suddenly he felt a sharp tug on his hair and glanced down at Hope. She was pointing at Nathaniel.

"Nate?" she asked.

Her parents smiled. In the last three months of Belle's pregnancy they'd been working with Hope to try to get her to pronounce her brother's name. Nathaniel was too difficult for to say so they decided to teach her the shortened version of it. "That's right, sweetie. This is Nate," Belle said.

"Nate play?" she asked hopefully.

"Not yet honey...he's too small right now but you'll be playing soon enough."

She frowned. "Play with Mel?"

"She may not be awake yet, sweetheart," Rumple said.

"Wanna play!" she wailed, her emotions causing her magic to react and items from Belle's dresser started floating in the air and crashing against the wall. The child grinned. "Play now."

"Hope, stop it!" her father said firmly only to find that there was a bottle of baby power being shaken over his head. He sneezed as he inhaled some of the powder.

"Daddy have snow!" she declared, clapping her hands.

"Hope! Stop it..now!" Belle commanded and soon found herself being sprinkled with baby powder. Rumple waved his hand and the powder covering them vanished and all the items were returned to the dresser. Hope glared at him.

"No fair."

"Oh yes it is, missy and don't sit there and act like you don't understand me. You may be in a child's body right now but I know your mind is more developed and I want it to understand this: you are not to use magic against anyone in this family."

"No poof..." She waved her hand in the same way he did. "On Mommy...Nate...or Daddy?"

He shook his head. "That's right...no magic."

"Price?"

"Yes. It comes with a price and sometimes it hurts."

"Okay. I not do it. You mad?"

"No, I'm not mad." he said as he hugged her.

"Mommy mad?"

"No sweetie," Belle replied and kissed her cheek then returned a sleeping Nathaniel to his crib. She looked over at her husband. He could barely keep awake himself and trying to convince their daughter to go back to sleep was next to impossible once she was woken up. He decided to try to see if Ariel and Melody were awake. Luckily they were and Hope ran to her friend as soon as she was set on her feet. By the time Rumple returned to the room Belle was already asleep and as soon as his head touched the pillow so was he.

"Now then, this is what this room should look like," Fiona said with her hands on her hips as she and Catriona glared at the exhausted members of the cleanup crew. It had taken them most of the day and for two of them, quite a lot of magic, but the living room was restored to its former glory. "Be lucky you lot aren't in Scotland because my house is much harder to clean. You can go sleep your hangovers off now but if I found out your rooms look like this...well...you get the idea." she said as she held up the paddle. They all glared at her as they left the room and retreated to their bedrooms. The two women sat down on the love seat, poured themselves a drink and turned on the television, falling asleep themselves.

Fiona felt someone shaking her shoulder gently and gazed into Rumple's brown eyes.

"I believe I owe you two dances."

She looked down and saw him wearing a pair of silk pajamas. "Where's the leather, lad?"

He waved his hand and was now dressed in his grey and black leather suit.

"Is that what you looked like where you're from?" she asked, unable to resist staring as did her daughter.

"Close. When he was fully under his curse, his skin was almost reptilian and he usually wore brown leather and silk shirts," Belle explained.

"Lassie, I don't know how you are able to stand there so calmly when I would have thrown him to the floor and had my way with him by now."

Belle giggled. "Oh, there'll be time for that but he has a deal to fulfill first."

He bowed and held out his hand to Fiona, escorting her into the dining room while Catriona and Belle followed close behind.

"This is the happiest Mum's been since my father passed away," Catriona confessed as Rumple led his giddy partner across the dance floor to "Unforgettable" and "All The Way"

"How long has it been?"

"Thirty years. My father was a good man. He knew what Mum did for a living, hell all of Scotland, England and Ireland knows what we do for a living, but he didn't give a damn. He loved her all the same. I guess Rumple reminds her a lot of him."

"What about you? Has there been anyone? Channon and Jamie's father?"

"He was already married when we met and will never divorce his wife or even acknowledge my children as his. I'm happy dating once in a while but taking care of my girls and guys is more important to me."

"It's your turn Cattie. My, that man is a marvelous dancer!"

Belle smiled. He'd used a great deal of magic on his leg so that his dances with them would be perfect and it would catch up to him later but he didn't care and she loved him all the more for it. Catriona chose to dance to two of her favorite songs from the Sixties "Unchained Melody" and "At Last". In her heart, Belle wished the two McDermott women would've been able to have a lasting happiness with their true loves but she was learning that in this world, very few people believed in true love anymore.

"It's your turn now, lassie, since you didn't get a chance to dance at your sons' wedding," Fiona said softly. "And thank you..."

"You're welcome."

She was about to take her husband's hands in hers when he stepped back.

"What's wrong?"

He waved his hand and she was back in her old golden gown, restored to its original beauty and took her into his arms. "Much better," he murmured as they danced to the same Spanish love songs Miranda was singing the night they had dinner at Casa Miranda.

"This isn't exactly like the dance scene in the movie is, it?" Rumple asked his wife referring to the animated version of their story.

She scoffed. "I like this better… still a bit of my beast left in the man. The prince turned into another brainless fool with good looks when the curse broke…at least that was my impression."

Rumple chuckled. "Don't let anyone at Disney World hear you say that."

"Maybe we should go there and do just that." she suggested.

"I don't think Orlando is ready for us yet. You said you wanted to see the world, sweetheart and we'll do it a bit at a time," he vowed.

"I'm in no hurry. We have the rest of our lives to do it."