There's probably a moral at the end somewhere

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

RAVEN, a narrating witch

GAR, a boy seeking adventure

ROBIN, a wandering hero

STARFIRE, an angry warrior princess

VICTOR, a lost prince

BLACKFIRE, an evil warrior queen

DING DONG DADDY, a cart driver

SLADE, a very bad guy

BIRDS, RABBITS, SQUIRRELS, and various other CREATURES OF THE FOREST

ACT 1

SCENE 1

Scene: A dirt road, with deep forest behind. A peddler cart enters, led by DING DONG DADDY. On the back it carries a girl, all but obscured by a dark cape, from which only a pair of eyes and a small mouth can be seen. This is RAVEN.

RAVEN: The story you're about to be told is about four strangers, who will change each other's destinies irretrievably. It's a tale about the struggle between good and evil, and how sometimes, when these forces are evenly matched, the battle isn't meant to ever end, but to keep going, until the end of time. And I, your faithful witch narrator, will be here to guide you through it. Oh, joy.

The cart stops. RAVEN gets off.

RAVEN: (To the driver) For your troubles. (Offers a few coins)

DING DONG DADDY: Oh, no! Uh, there's no need! Just, move along.

DING DONG DADDY shivers in previously contained fright as he drives away. RAVEN either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

RAVEN: And the story begins with an ordinary boy, whose heart longed for adventure more than anything.

GAR enters. He's a scrawny boy in well-worn peasant clothes.

RAVEN: The boy had ran away from his adoptive parents. They weren't evil or anything. But they were bakers, and the boy was tired of baking and kneading and lighting fires all day. Objectively a bad choice, but hey, the story can't start without it.

GAR: (Seeing RAVEN) Oh, hello miss! Do you know of an inn that's not that one, over there?

RAVEN: No.

GAR: Well, never go to that one. It's the worst! I have no coin and the keeper refused to feed me! Me! An obvious adventurer on an important quest!

(Beat)

GAR: If you must know, I'm in a mission to rescue a friend of mine. He left the village suddenly, and we're not sure he can fend for himself. It's baby-sitting, really. But… (To himself) if I don't find him before nightfall, I'm gonna starve to death.

RAVEN: And so, on top of arranging for her own travel, the witch had to pay out of pocket for the story to move forward. (To GAR) I have money. Here. (Offers a coin)

GAR: Really? Hey, thanks! Good day!

GAR exits before she can change her mind.

RAVEN: But this ordinary boy wasn't so ordinary.

GAR appears as a shadow behind the foliage.

GAR: Pst! Birds! Hey!

RAVEN: Unbeknownst to all, he had the ability to communicate with animals. With them he sought help to find his lost friend.

GAR: Have you guys seen Robin? You remember Robin, right? …Where? …That way? Thanks, dudes!

GAR exits.

RAVEN: The story continues with a wandering hero, who was good and kind, and everything a hero should be.

ROBIN enters. He's a slender boy in adventurer's clothes, with a cape and a belt with several pouches.

There's a rustle in the woods. ROBIN stops and listens.

RAVEN: He had left his home and all he knew behind, simply to wander the world fighting evil, setting wrongs to right, and bringing justice to the land.

There's another rustle. ROBIN approaches the source of the noise, waits, and pulls something out of the bushes. It turns out to be GAR, who yelps.

ROBIN: Garfield? What are you doing here?

GAR: I… followed you out?

ROBIN: (Dropping GAR) You have to go home. I'm not going back to the village. I'm gone for good.

GAR: I know, and I wanna go with you! Have adventures! Go where the wind takes us! I'm ready, let's do it!

ROBIN: I'm not playing around here-

GAR: Neither am I! I'm serious! So tell me, what's the quest? Are you looking for the lost prince?

ROBIN: No, that's not what I'm after. The prince could have been kidnapped. He could be dead already. Or he could have ran away in rebellion against the match the king chose for him. Whatever the case, it's all too uncertain for me to waste time on it.

GAR: So where are we going?

ROBIN: We are not going anywhere. You're going back to the village, and I'm going on my way. (He walks away)

GAR: (Following him regardless) Which is what? What are you doing? Come on! I bought us some food!

They come across RAVEN. ROBIN starts backwards, and takes out a quarter-staff from his belt.

GAR: Oh, hey, it's you again!

ROBIN: What? Gar, you know her?

GAR: Yeah, she was around here earlier.

ROBIN: (Lowly) Gar, that is a witch.

GAR: What? (To RAVEN) You're a witch?

ROBIN: What are you here for?

RAVEN: Don't you know witches live in the woods?

ROBIN: Yes. And I know they hex strangers who cross them.

RAVEN: Are you thinking of crossing me?

ROBIN: …No. (Puts down staff) We're only trying to get through the forest. Peacefully.

RAVEN: (Impatiently) Then go already.

ROBIN advances carefully. GAR follows close by. They exit.

RAVEN: Anyway. Our tale continues in a kingdom far away, occupied by a proud warrior race, a people who found sense only in the honor of battle. There lived a princess, who was about to face a very important dilemma.

SCENE 2

Scene: An ample hall. Through it paces a tall, stately princess, dressed in rich purple robes. Her red hair flutters behind her as she stalks through the room, breathing fire. This is STARFIRE. She's very pissed off.

BLACKFIRE enters.

STARFIRE: Finally!

BLACKFIRE: (Dangerously) Excuse me?

STARFIRE: I-I mean…-

BLACKFIRE: Sister dear, I do believe you forget yourself.

STARFIRE: (Bowing) Forgive me, my queen.

BLACKFIRE: Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?

STARFIRE: Is it true what I have heard of the prince of Stone Court?

BLACKFIRE: The prince of what? Jog my memory.

STARFIRE: Your previous betrothed! The one you mysteriously passed onto me a week ago!

BLACKFIRE: Oh, that prince.

STARFIRE: Why was I not told of this?

BLACKFIRE: Oh, you know I hate upsetting you, sweet sister. I didn't have the heart to tell you.

STARFIRE: You thought it better I found out by our townspeople? I had a right to know. My betrothed could be dead or mangled! He could have been kidnapped by his enemies!

BLACKFIRE: Oh, don't be dramatic, sister. Maybe he only ran away so he didn't have to marry you.

STARFIRE: (Pause) You knew about this. This is why you left him for me, is it not?

BLACKFIRE: (Gasping dramatically) How could you blame me of such premeditated attempt against my sister's happiness? (Pause) But you do know what it means, dear. I have to uphold the law, even in regards to you. Oh, do cheer up, Starfire. I know you. You'll make being a spinster look good.

BLACKFIRE exits.

STARFIRE: (Sighing) Why did I have to be born second? Now I know why she gave such a wonderful match up to me. I knew something must have been wrong with him, and I knew it even as I bowed my head and thanked my sister for the match. But what else could I do? I am my sister's vassal just like everybody else in this kingdom. To the people, I am their princess, high and mighty. But to Blackfire, I am just another subject.

STARFIRE looks out the window.

STARFIRE: I see the path clearly before me. I could do my duty, obey my sister, and resign myself to my fate. …Or I could break out of my apartments, fight my way out the castle, break into the armory to get my mace, escape the kingdom in a merchant's cart, and hunt down the prince myself.

(Beat)

STARFIRE: Galfore! Galfore. Fetch my bag!

STARFIRE exits.

A/N: Tomorrow's my birthday. Gift me a review! ;)