Time to Say Goodbye

His eyes were puffy and bloodshot but he ignored his image in the mirror. Instead he bent to the sink to throw water on his face and wash his hands. He took in a ragged breath and steeled himself for what was to come. He had to go find Jennifer, he had to talk to her. He shook his head. What was he even going to say?

She was humming away to herself as she worked in the conservatory. She smiled as he approached.

"There you are Jonathan, good. You can help me. Pick up those boxes and bring them down to the shed. We won't be needing that stuff in here," she smiled.

"Jennifer…."

She went to him and putting arms around his neck she gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Jonathan reached up and slowly took her arms down. He needed to talk to her seriously.

"Oh Jonathan, I can't believe I never thought of it before. We could have Freeway in here. It's warm as the sun comes though the glass and there's plenty of greenery in here, it'll be like he is getting his walk in the park."

She smiled as she picked up a cushion and pounded dust out of It before replacing it.

"Jennifer…." Jonathan tried again.

"Look at this dust. We really should use this room more often Jonathan. And I was thinking, I'm not happy with our vet, he had Freeway on that diet. It doesn't agree with him. Of course his stomach isn't good when he's eating that jellied meat he doesn't like. I'm going to find a nutritionist who specializes in dogs with sensitive stomachs."

Jennifer would not make eye contact as she spoke. She polished vigorously an old lamp keeping her mind solely on the task at hand.

"Freeway will love the sunshine in this room, he will….."

"Jennifer he won't see it, Freeway is nearly blind."

Jennifer nodded and tried to speak calmly. "I know that Jonathan, but he can feel it. It's coming through the glass. He can feel the sunshine on his back."

"Jennifer Freeway is sixteen years old."

Jenifer looked straight at him now.

"I know that Jonathan, I know his age, like a mother knows…..' she shook her head against the tears began to pool in her eyes.

She turned from him then and went to the other end of the conservatory with her polishing cloth. She picked up a vase and began polishing it vigorously.

"I'm going to have this room so nice, he'll think he's in the park."

Jonathan went to her. He took the cloth and vase from her hands and gently took hold of her wrists.

"Look at me Jennifer."

"No…."

"Jennifer, I'm going to ring Dr Newman today."

'Jonathan no, you can't."

"He can't see, He can't walk, Jennifer its cruel."

"How can you say it's cruel. He's here with people who love him. If you call Dr Newman he'll want to put Freeway to sleep."

Jonathan didn't answer. He looked into Jennifer's eyes and tried to make her understand.

She gave him a scathing look in return.

"That's what you want isn't it, have it all solved by tomorrow. That's how you solve everything, throw money at it and hope it goes away. You don't even want to help Freeway. I've come up with all kinds of solutions and plans and you go straight to calling Dr Newman. Well fine Jonathan. I'm hoping you might have a little more sympathy if ever I fall sick."

Jonathan looked back at her then. That hurt more than any of the angry words that were spoken between them in the last week but he did not rise to it.

"Jennifer, I'm calling Dr Newman."

Jennifer was ready with her angry retort but just then she could feel the emotion in his words.

His voice cracked as he spoke.

"I'm sorry Jen,"

She watched as he walked out closing the door quietly after him. She swiped crossly at the tears on her cheek, picked up her polishing cloth and went back to work in earnest.

Jonathan went back to the kitchen. He went to the basket and crouched down running his hand through the matted fur of his old friend.

"How you holding up buddy," he tried to smile even as tears glistened in his eyes.

Jonathan felt a hand on his shoulder and straightened up. He looked into the kind old eyes of his butler Max.

"I didn't hear you come in,"

"I was putting the shopping away in the pantry."

Jonathan only nodded as his eyes went once again to the basket in the corner.

"Mr H, she doesn't mean it. She can't let go. You know that."

"I know Max but…" Jonathan turned from him and rubbed a hand across his face. "She thinks I just want an end to it."

"She thinks nothing of the kind. She loves you and she loves Freeway. Women lash out like that when they have no control. They're used to having all the answers. They can't cope with stuff like this."

Max looked down at Freeway. The dog looked back at him with tired unfocused eyes.

"He's better today, that pain medication must be kicking in. Why don't you take him out on the porch. He liked that yesterday."

Jonathan could only nod. He bent and gently gathered the dog up in his arms. Freeway whined for just a moment as he settled into the new position. Jonathan walked slowly through the house. Max walked quickly ahead opening doors for him as he went.

It was coming to the end of another beautiful day. The air was still warm but a fresh breeze cut through the stifling waves of heat coming out over the mountain.

The sun left a splash of fire in it's wake as it dipped below the horizon. A gentle breeze caressed Jonathans face as he sat in a wicker chair with Freeway in his arms. The dog let out a sigh and settled himself to try and sleep. He felt heavier in Jonathan's arms, the pain medication had taken all the fight out of him.

"That's it, you sleep," Jonathan whispered in his ear.

They sat in silence for some minutes, Jonathan rocking gently back and forth Freeway wheezing out labored breaths in his sleep.

He looked up as Max returned. Curiously he had Jennifer by the hand.

"Now you sit over here. You don't even have to look at the man you married you can look out at the woods but you're not going to bed after you've been crying like that. You'll have those nightmares again."

Max gave them each a brief but stern look before returning to his chores in the house.

They exchanged looks but sat in silence listening to the wind in the trees.

"How is he?" Jennifer asked in a broken voice.

"I think he's comfortable now."

"I'm sorry Jonathan,"

"No, I'm sorry. I….I'm not trying to end it, I just don't want to see him hurting anymore."

Jennifer went quickly to the chair by his side. She put an arm around him and a hand to Freeways fur being careful not to wake him.

"I know, at least I should have known that. Here we are snapping at each other all week and we're both feeling the same things."

"I don't ever want another dog Jen," Jonathan shook his head.

"Freeway isn't a dog Jonathan he's a reincarnation of a grumpy old man."

Jonathan had to laugh at that despite himself.

"Remember how I'd listen to a record late at night and he'd come up the bed and just give me a look as if to say I Have Had Just About Enough Of You."

Jonathan nodded with a grin.

"He always hated music."

"He likes to watch television though, and not just dogs playing or racing each other I caught him one day watching News Night. Two old senators discussing the state of the nation today and Freeway is bet into it. Like what does he get out of that."

Jonathan and Jennifer huddled closer together as the weather began to turn chilly. Max returned soon after with a tray.

"Max, what is this?" Jonathan asked as he took a steaming mug from the tray.

"Hot chocolate with whipped cream and a little something inside."

Jennifer smiled at him with much gratitude.

"Are we allowed to ask what that something is?" Jonathan grinned.

"Let's just say I learned a thing or two on my trip to Ireland and leave it at that."

Max's Irish concoction warmed them considerably and lifted spirits. Max sat up with them drinking his usual whisky. They shared stories and laughed about old times and sometime amid the warmth and laughter of his family Freeway went to sleep for the last time cradled happily in his dads arms.

Nine months after Freeway's passing the Harts did get another dog. Not because they had any intention of ever replacing Freeway but because another poor little soul was left abandoned on a roadside and God needed to find him a good and loving family who would take care of him like he was one of their own.

The End.