To Play The Fool

This fellow is wise enough to play the fool,

And to do that well craves a kind of wit.

He must observe their mood on whom he jests,

The quality of persons, and the time,

And, like the haggard, check at every feather

That comes before his eye. This is a practise

As full of labor as a wise man's art,

-Twelfth Night – William Shakespeare

Chapter 1

The quiet woke him up. When Serenity was on the ground she still made noise of some sort. The hum of the lights overhead, the sound of water going through the pipes as the ship flushed out the systems and took on fresh. The sound of footsteps, light on the metal decking and stairs, the cargo bay doors opening and closing… then opening and closing again.

He dozed fitfully after an automatic look at the chrono for the time, waiting to hear those footsteps again, for whatever errand that had to be run accomplished and his crew returned to the boat.

The footsteps didn't come and he woke into the silence with a sick feeling in his gut.

Mal still didn't have a clue when it came to trackin', not in the city, nor the country or even a middlin' town like this one. Five hours past dawn the marketplace was already a goin' concern, and that made findin' the trail a bit harder, but not impossible.

River's boot marks were in the dirt at Serenity's feet. Simon's fancier shoe marks followin' hers for some reason. When the Doc would actually let his sister be the grown woman Doc swore he knew she was… well that was anybody's guess. He'd gotten her inoculations, an' he'd even sprung for one of them fancy contraptions Core women used when they wanted ta save their eggs for when they was actually ready ta have babies.

Simon still weren't really ready ta have his sister start datin' though, for all he said he was, an' proof was in the footprints on the ground, Simon's followin' his sister's steps into the market.

If they didn't have cargo to pick up he doubted they'd've stayed more'n a day. But the ship they were meetin' were late and they couldn't go anywhere with an empty (mostly) hold. Mal had groused an' grumbled an' Zoe had waited him out 'til he'd figured they's better off stayin' put.

If River had met a guy an' were sneakin' out, or being what she called discreet, to meet him maybe it was a good thing they'd been stuck for a day. He didn't see her in the market though or hear her voice. An' since he'd made it half way through the common he should've at least found some sign a Simon. What Mal didn't know about trackin' could be doubled when it came ta Simon. Doc were smart but he didn't have the faintest clue when it came ta hidin' a trail.

As town squares went it weren't one a the nicer ones, dusty, grass half dead from boots walkin' on it, dirt alleys leadin' offa it behind buildings that had some pretension ta durability. The storefronts on the streets off the square featured big windows with security grills over 'em, most a them still down since it were early yet an' the market was thrivin'. Stores'd open as the market was windin' down, catch sales from stragglers and folks from the ports what didn't know 'bout the market.

This far out on the edge of Alliance controlled space you saw all sortsa boats, even some a those odd ones that sailed with cryostasis. Mal'd shaken his head when he'd seen a few of those, muttering about idiots signing up to be a banquet. Simon had gently teased him, asking if he wouldn't like a nice quiet ship of passengers in cryo, sleep his way through a trip.

Mal had laughed and said he'd no notion Simon was aspirin' to be a hot lunch and the Doc had just grinned at him. Doc wasn't bad now that he'd relaxed some. Wasn't always sayin' somethin' stupid ta upset Kaylee. His sister was turning into a helluva pilot. He an' Kaylee were teaching her to cook, Simon too when they could manage. River caught on faster than her brother. No surprise there.

He inhaled and frowned. Markets smelt of livestock, dusty produce, dry goods, second hand stuff to trade, manure and sweat. Town squares like this, so far out from White Sun, wouldn't have a strong Purplebelly presence. Part of why Mal liked 'em so much. So why'd the air stink a knockout gas like the cops used ta put down riots?

Stronger the further around the common he got, strongest near an alley an' under it a strong smell of blood. Grass an' dirt trampled with signs a more than a dozen boots, a half print of Simon's narrow toed shoe, an' a scuff that looked like River's boot heel dragged in the dirt an' partly smeared. Hard to read, but blood was unmistakable.

Smelling blood the body in the alley wasn't a surprise, that Simon was alive was a welcome shock. "Doc," He frowned as he crouched down next to him. "Cào dàn that's bad."

"Jayne," Simon's bloody hand grabbed hold of his wrist with surprising strength even if his voice was weaker than it should be. Doc was paler too, from the amount of blood soaking the dirt he'd lost way too much. "Jayne they took her!"

"Tā mā de dì yù," He wasn't much good with words in a crisis unless it was cursing. Doc had gotten a tourniquet on his leg, but he was still bleeding too much. It wasn't tight enough. "First things first Doc, gotta keep ya from bleedin' to death." Simon always wore a belt, and he even still had his gun on it, which was no small miracle really. "Gonna use your belt, keep ya from losin' any more blood."

Simon's gun clipped onto his own belt easy enough. The slender belt were soft enough leather that it would tighten good around Simon's thigh, cut off the blood long enough ta get him back to Serenity. A poke with a knife though the leather and the buckle snugged good and taut around the leg. "Stay with me Doc, gonna need that three percent brain a yers."

The Doc still didn't weigh much, even with the muscle he'd started addin' ta his wiry frame, pickin' him up an' puttin' him in what Mal called a soldier's carry was easy 'nough. He got a few looks runnin' through the damn market but there weren't time to go 'round an' be discreet. Serenity's bay door was open, Zoe standin' in the doorway, lowerin' the ramp. The goods musta finally shown up. Her eyes went wide as she saw him runnin' for the ship with Simon over his shoulders an' she shouted for Mal.

Jayne nodded at her an' ran for the infirmary, flipping on the lights an' getting Simon on the table. He could hear Mal shoutin' back to Zoe, man had a voice ta carry 'crosst a battlefield an' it echoed through the cargo bay somethin' fierce.

"Mal! Infirmary! Now!" Jayne could bellow well enough too. "Doc's hurt bad!"

That got Mal running. "What'n the—" He stopped as he got into the infirmary and shouted for River. "Gonna need her brain."

"Ain't here," Jayne got busy cutting the Doc's pants off. Simon weren't in no shape ta help, having passed out somewhere on the run back to the boat. "Doc says 'they' took her. No clue who."

"Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ."

That's a sentiment Jayne could get behind as Mal began to help him get Simon ready for whatever help they could manage ta give him. "Mal he's lost a lotta blood."

"Yeah," Cap'n was nodding grimly. "He ain't a match to me though. Nor Zoe."

"Doc got us all typed, keeps it written on that chart," Jayne nodded at the wall. "Said somethin' 'bout me bein' a universal donor."

"Means you can give him blood," Mal told him. "An' he's gonna need plenty. Get Kaylee to mix you up some juice an' soup or somethin'. Keep you fueled up."

"Yeah…" Jayne frowned as he tugged off Simon's socks. "Mal we got bigger problems. I don' like the looks a this."

"Jiàn tā de guǐ," Mal's curse at the sight of Simon's toes was another sentiment Jayne found himself agreeing with. "Jayne how long'd he been bleedin'?"

He had to think, "Heard footsteps, 'round four am ship time… an' the bay door echoin'…kept dozin'…waitin' y'know…for 'em to come back. Woke up, realized I ain't heard 'em yet…got a bad feelin' an' went lookin'."

"It's after eight now," Zoe commented in her stoic way. She stood in the door, "Cargo's loaded."

"Go see if this tǔ lǎo mào town's got a doctor," Mal commanded grimly. "Don't dare take that tourniquet off yet an' you an' me, we ain't good 'nough at doctorin' to cut off a limb. Jayne, you—" He stopped as Kaylee appeared behind Zoe and cut off the shocked question on his mechanic's lips before she could even speak, "Kaylee, you get on up to the galley, mix up a ton a juice and soup, Jayne's donatin' blood an' he's gonna need it." Zoe took off at a run and Jayne spared a thought to thank Shepherd Book and God that Jason was a late sleeper.

"Pulse ain't too good neither," He did not like the stuttering feel of it under his fingers on Simon's neck.

"Right," Mal was grabbing the needles and tubes. "'Fraid you're gonna start donatin' now Jayne."

"'S fine," He nodded and held out his arm, unbuttoning Simon's shirt with one hand. "Just make it long 'nough I can hand you stuff as you need it. Leastways 'til Zoe gets back."

Simon stayed blessedly unconscious through the whole thing. Turned out the town did have a doctor, not that he was as good as Simon, but he was good enough to clamp off the big ass artery in the Doc's leg long enough to sew it shut and wrap it in the bandages Simon kept on hand. Doc was always going on about having the right supplies since they all couldn't seem to get through a job without someone shooting at them.

Jayne got to sit through the whole thing, attached to Simon by tubes as he was, and had to listen to Mal argue with the town doc about Simon's leg and what needed to be cut off. By the time they'd gotten the doctor and he'd gotten the artery and slice to the Doc's leg sewn up, a lotta time had passed. Weaves would work on the muscles that'd been cut through but once flesh was dead, there wasn't any bringin' it back.

He might not know a lot about doctorin' but he knew that time was the enemy. Especially when you had a tourniquet on. Mal managed to argue the town doctor down. The man had wanted to cut the leg off above the knee.

"How much did they cut off," Simon's voice woke him out of the half doze he'd been in. The town doctor had hooked him up to some clear stuff he called plasma, so Jayne could give Simon some more blood. Jayne'd been either dozing or eating since they'd left dirt. "Did you find River?"

Jayne really hadn't wanted to be the one to tell him, "Zoe an' Kaylee went out, went through the whole town. She weren't nowhere ta be found. Mal thinks whoever they were, they got her on a ship an' took off."

Simon's deep breath sounded harsh in the air, "It was a group of men. Dirty, unshaven. One was absolutely huge, bigger than you even. He grabbed me when I tried to keep them away from River. I think they'd gassed her. She was nearly to the end of the alley… I smelled something… like that knockout gas that pacifies people rioting."

"Pacifies 'em right to the ground," Jayne nodded his understanding. "Smelt it when I found you. Guess even River couldn't stop breathing long enough to get away from that. That zāo gāo works fast."

"They weren't purplebellies," Simon told him. "They must have gotten it illegally."

"How ever it was they got it, they got it an' used it. But we'll find her," Jayne reached out and cranked the bed up so Simon wasn't flat on his back. "As for the other thing… see for yourself."

Mal had convinced the town doctor that Simon didn't need as much amputation as the man wanted to do. Once the blood was going back into the leg Simon's flesh had pinkened up pretty quick, to a point. Even Mal couldn't argue about that. Simon's leg now ended four and a half inches below the knee.

The Doc took a deep breath and looked, and nodded, "Well at least prosthetics have come a long way from peg legs."

"Fixed ya up a cane, pipe with some rubber wrapped around the bottom and handle so you can grip it," Jayne picked it up from the floor and showed it to him. "Not much else I could do whiles I's sitting here. Mal says it'll be a while 'fore you need it but I figure just in case. An' if you got doctorin' ta do we got a stool with wheels. Raises an' lowers."

Simon nodded, "I'll need to get on the cortex and refresh my memory on therapies and preparation for the prosthetic, and the cost of them."

"Comes ta that I'm bettin' Kaylee could make ya something works just as good as anythin' we could steal offa Ariel." Jayne gave him a half grin, heartened when the Doc smiled back.

"I appreciate it Jayne," Simon took another breath. "And thank you, for coming to find me, I'd be dead in that alley if you hadn't."

"Eh, heard ya go out, didn't hear ya come back, got a bad feelin'," Jayne shrugged. "I'll get on the comms, let the rest of 'em know yer awake. You tell Mal an' Zoe what you told me."

The first year Simon had been on board Serenity he'd been such a greenhorn that Jayne had been hard pressed to not shove him out the airlock out of sheer irritation. He'd been prissy, proud, half grown and acting like he thought he was a full adult man. It took a while before Jayne had figured out why Simon acted the way he did. Manners and what the Doc considered proper behavior were pretty much the only thing he had to offer apart from doctoring skills.

Simon had relaxed some after Miranda and mostly pulled the stick out of his pì gu. Jayne guessed not worrying constantly about his sister could only help. And they weren't fugies anymore. Plus River was getting her sanity back in huge chunks at a time. So she could not only tell her gē ge when he was being a boob, she could tell him why. The Doc's knowledge of the Black and what was needed to survive increased a lot after River got sane. Mostly because she'd argued him round when it came to practical skills. So, he'd improved, learned to use a gun, and a knife, and what he could do with a scalpel now had nothin' to do with doctoring. Not that he did much, but there were some…moments. Nothin' Mal planned ever went smooth after all. That's just how it was.

But if he'd lost part of his leg in that first year, Jayne would have bet money that he'd crumble, whine, moan and cry. Just, in general, feel sorry for himself. Jayne was the first to admit he hadn't known Simon that well back then. The Doc was soft spoken, polite, and well dressed. There wasn't a hint of steel about him.

He hadn't really had a clue just how good Simon was at what he did until Ariel. First, he'd planned the heist and that was a gorram good take. But he'd saved some fella's life as if he was just as important as River was to him. Doc was commandin', snappin' out orders and information like he was born to it. Like Mal was when a job was going south, figuring a way out, working angles or the way Jayne was when he was given something to track or hunt. In his element River called it. Jayne had finally understood what that expression meant.

It took Jayne time to figure it out, but one thing Simon always had was spine. And he was stubborn to boot. Butted heads with Mal often enough, didn't take any shit from Jayne either. He'd gotten his first hint of Simon's spine on the Lassiter job. He still hadn't liked the Doc much then but he could respect the man's attitude about them working together. And the Doc had held to his word too. Then Jayne heard about what happened when that Early hún dàn had snuck onto the boat. Dealing with a stone-cold killer like Early without pissing himself in fear, and trying to protect Kaylee and his sister took some stainless-steel balls. So Doc just picked an' chose when he put his spine to use. Top three percent weren't for nothin' Jayne guessed.

So, he'd had to revise his opinion of the Doc a bit. Then Simon had caught River writing out his letters for him while they were repairing Serenity. He got a job hauling crates on the docks during the day so he'd earn and nights he worked on Serenity. He'd been so gorram tired he couldn't even hold a pencil or see straight to type in the cortex (if it had been working, which it weren't). Simon had pulled him into the infirmary and checked his blood pressure and all the other zá wù and then given him some injections. "It's not much, Vitamin D, some B-twelve and Vitamin C. I'm going to give you a sleep aid, it'll help you stay asleep for about four hours. That's the minimum you need to stay healthy. I'm going to give you some supplements to take with meals. You come and see me every week, I'll check you out, make sure you're not coming down with anything."

He hadn't taken no for an answer on that one, climbing up the side of the boat with his doctor bag at night when Jayne had been working on welding Serenity's hull. He was sure they made a hi-larious sight, Simon with his medical bag and injectors, checking Jayne's blood pressure an' levels an' all.

River had helped too, watching him when he'd been working and sending him off to sleep somewhere while she took over the tasks. Once she got sane Jayne could see River as more of a little sister and Simon a little brother. They certainly teased each other enough. More than once he'd caught River fixing the crew quarters since everything had gotten tossed around when Serenity had crashed. Being towed to Eavesdown hadn't exactly helped either.

She'd taken great care to hang all his guns up in the same spots they'd always been, made his bed and put his clothes in his little bureau. Even his gun and girly mags were stacked where he'd always kept them. He guessed she'd done the same with everyone else's bunks too from the shocked exclamations he heard outa the rest of the crew.

Ever since Simon had caught him with River writing letters he'd inquired after Jayne's family and how they were. He remembered that Jayne's father was a welder and still employed even with other workers laid off and asked about his work. Maybe he was just being polite but he asked and he listened to the answers.

Now he limped into the galley, using the cane for balance as he tried out the prosthetic Kaylee had made, "Mal said you got post. How are your parents doing?"

"Dad's still workin'," Jayne nodded. "Ma's worried 'bout Mattie. She got another spell of damp lung."

"How long has she been sick?" Simon took a seat and pulled one of his datapads out of the satchel he carried. It kept one hand free for his gun since the other was on the cane.

"Pretty much most a her life," Jayne did his best to explain his little sister's health problems. Silverhold wasn't the worst planet to grow up on. The mines were fairly productive and the manufacturing plants gave pretty steady employment. They smog wasn't too bad and if you were smart like Mattie the schools would do their job.

Simon kept taking notes and frowning as Jayne told him about Mattie. "Jayne, was there ever a time you can remember when a lot of people got sick at once when you were growing up? Maybe when Mattie was very young?"

Jayne shook his head, "Cain't recall anythin' like that, companies are pretty strict makin' sure ev'ryone's gettin' innocked an' all. Mattie come 'bout three weeks early though, I 'member runnin' for the midwife halfway 'cross town."

"Hmm… well that let's out one of my theories, though her being premature could have something to do with her lungs developing properly or not," Simon rubbed his chin. "Would you mind if I sent a letter along with yours to your parents? Asking some more questions? It's hard to diagnose when I can't see someone and a secondhand medical history doesn't help."

"Yeah Doc, whatever ya need," Jayne nodded. "We get close enough we could wave my folks even."

Simon was walking more easily on the pros-the-tic these days. He'd jokingly called it the peg leg when Jayne had trouble saying the fancified word for it. No offense intended to Kaylee who'd made the thing an' kept it in working order. Kaylee was happier'n ever 'cept for missing River, because Simon had a lot better idea of what she did with machines. He'd even set himself ta studyin' so he an' Kaylee could talk about her job some. Of course, it might also have somethin' to do with her and the Doc havin' sex. A lot. He was thinking of stealin' some soundproofing stuff an' convincing Mal to put it in the walls.

"We're not very far," Simon was following Mal. "Jayne and I could take the shuttle."

"Doc, neither a you knows how to fly the shuttle," Mal pointed out and Jayne looked over at him curiously.

"Why're we taking the shuttle somewhere?"

"Doc, we gotta get the cargo dropped on Clawthorn and then we're headed to Pelorum with more of those gorram dolls," Mal shook his head.

"It won't take long," Simon argued. "Jayne says Mattie is a pilot. You keep saying we need a pilot for when we need to make a fast exit."

"That true Jayne?" Mal looked at him and Jayne nodded dumbly as he figured out what Simon was doing.

Along with teaching him his letters so he'd write better and helpin' with the spellin' and asking about Mattie's health with letters of his own, Simon was trying to make a doctor's visit to Silverhold so he could help Jayne's little sister. Even though he was worried sick about his own missing little sister, of which, so far, there'd been no sign. And Simon was arguing to maybe hire Mattie on, which would put River outa a job if they ever found her. Or at least usin' that as a ready excuse to get Mal over to Silverhold.

"Yeah, Ma said she's been workin' the docks, mostly flyin' a whale chaser, movin' cargo containers, but she's a good pilot," Jayne nodded again. "Ain't got fancy schoolin' though."

"I don't need fancy, I need someone to get the boat off the ground," Mal shook his head. "Thought she was sickly though?"

"Flyin' don't require a ton a hardiness. Ain't like flyin' 'round the docks on Silverhold's callin' for barn swallows an' crazy ivans," Jayne shrugged. "An' she's breathin' better on the ships. Leastways that's what she said in her last letter."

"Well…if you can promise me it won't take us more than a day out of our way…" Mal was looking at Simon who nodded. "We'll divert to Silverhold after Clawthorn. Simon can do his doctorin' and we'll see if Mattie will do as a pilot."

Mattie had met them at the docks, "Hey," She greeted Jayne as if she'd just seen him yesterday instead of three years ago, giving him a big hug. She was still too thin, a half a head shorter than he was, but her hair's just as curly as his, fallin' in a braid over one shoulder, an' her eyes were the same bright blue.

"Mattie," It always gave him a jolt that she was taller than their Ma, taller than the Doc actually. "This's Doc Simon, an' this's Mal, he's Cap'n a the boat."

"Nice ta meet yas," Mattie was politer than he was. "'M Martha Cobb, but ev'ryone calls me Mattie. Be pleased if you'd do the same."

"Good to meet you too," Mal nodded shaking her hand. "Jayne says you're a pilot?"

"Yeah, licensed an' all," Mattie nodded. "Had to pass the tests 'fore they'd let me fly a whale chaser. Just need a few hours to get to know a ship an' then I'm usually good. Company moves me 'round to different boats dependin' on where I'm needed."

"Mattie, Jayne mentioned you're prone to an illness called damp-lung," Simon held out his hand to shake hers politely. "I hope you'll allow me to listen to your lungs, maybe I can help."

"If ya can that'd be a relief," Mattie nodded. "Lord knows when I get one a those spells I cain't work an' that's part a why I keep gettin' moved 'round to different boats. An' it's hard on Ma and Dad, doctors ain't exactly cheap."

"Well I assure you; I won't charge you a pence," Simon smiled at her, completely unphased by yet another woman topping him in height. Doc was good like that. "Jayne's like family. Anything I can do to help I'd like to."

That were something unexpected. Simon didn't throw words like family around lightly. He didn't say things he didn't mean neither.

"Sure, if you think it'll help," Mattie was nodding. "Don't see the harm."

"And with that ringing endorsement," Simon was grinnin' so Jayne knew he hadn't taken offense.

Author's Note: So this was something I had in the back of my mind. How River was taken and how Simon was found. The way he and Jayne have gotten closer.

Chinese Translations:

Cào dàn (damn it! / fuck!)

Tā mā de dì yù (fucking hell)

Nǐ tā mā de tiān xià suǒ yǒu de rén dōu gāi sǐ. (Fuck everyone in the universe to death.)

Jiàn tā de guǐ (damnit/ bloody hell)

tǔ lǎo mào (hillbilly / yokel / redneck / bumpkin)

zāo gāo (Crap, nuts, crud)

pì gu (butt)

gē ge (big brother)

hún dàn (bastard)

zá wù (junk)