"I deserve that," Steve mumbled over the otherwise silent com link.

Natasha exhaled deeply and slowly lifted her eyes to meet Clint's cold gaze. "I know you too, Clint."

He narrowed his eyes, but remained silent.

"I know you know exactly who survived. You're a tactician, you do your research." She cocked an eyebrow at him and let the corner of her mouth quirk up. "And I know you tried to break into Stark Industries."

"Did break in," he corrected as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Eh," she shrugged one shoulder at him.

"I was outside, and then I was in."

She did smile then. "F.R.I.D.A.Y. let you in."

Clint's right eye twitched, but he remained unmoved.

"What were you looking for, Clint?" Fidgeting with the umbrella handle, Natasha leaned with one shoulder against the wall. To anyone else, she might have looked too casual, if a bit awkward. Clint recognized the tactic for what it was. He didn't budge.

"You tell me." He squared his shoulders. "Since you know me so well." They stared at each other a moment, two immovable forces.

Natasha nodded slightly. "Your way, then. You went there after you discovered Hank Pym was missing and so was his work into the quantum realm." She paused, and Clint motioned for her to continue with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"You thought Tony would've been experimenting."

"Stark literally weaponized the internet. It only made sense to think he'd got his hands on Pym's work too." Clint dropped his arms to his sides, but his fists remained clenched tight.

"Obviously someone like Tony Stark would go screwing around with the quantum realm." Pushing away from the wall, Natasha stood directly in front of him, arms to her sides, mirroring his own posture. "But what do you know about it, Clint? Why would you go looking for it? Why now?"

Natasha maintained her stance, allowing Clint to study her. His gaze lingered on the umbrella, and when he finally met her eyes she could see, really see, the suffering, the exhaustion, the helplessness. His shoulders slumped and he sighed in defeat.

"I met someone. A woman." He turned away in order to avoid eye contact. "Well, she… She found me."

Natasha cleared her throat. "Clint, it's okay. It's… Laura would…" She reached for his shoulder, and he shrugged her off.

"No." He shook his head and repeated emphatically, "No. Not that. Never…" He shook his head again. "No. I," he took a calming breath and pushed his right sleeve up, revealing the telltale scars. "I died. After seeing what I saw, and not being able to stop it. And finding out about Laura and Coop- It killed me, Nat. I couldn't…"

"Clint," Natasha blinked hard against the moisture gathering in her eyes. She reached for him, but dropped her hand abruptly. "Clint, I-"

"I," he nodded to his arm then pushed his sleeve back into place and shrugged. "Was sure I had succeeded. Even saw the bright light." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "This woman stepped out of the light, and I remember thinking there was no way in hell I was gonna see an angel when I died."

Natasha huffed a quiet laugh. "Good guy Hawkeye? Of course you will."

"Hawkeye is dead, Nat." Clint snapped. "I've got more red in my ledger than you could ever imagine." He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

"The woman… She spoke some words I didn't understand. Stopped the bleeding. Told me she'd seen me in another realm, and dragged me into the light. A portal." He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes.

"A portal? Tech or… or magic?" Natasha didn't try to mask her curiosity.

Clint lowered his hand and furrowed his brow. "Magic. How… Do you…"

"Go on," she urged.

"She took me to a place, Kamar-Taj, she called it. Said she'd been there as a student when everyone… When it happened. The Decimation," he spat the last word. "Called herself Ronin. Told me she had spent all the months since searching for answers, for portals to the dimension where the missing might be, or for a way to go back and undo it. Said she would teach me."

"Did she?" Natasha stepped closer to him. "What did she show you?"

"I never learned to open the portals myself," he shook his head. "But I've been there."

"Wait… Where? You've… Clint, you've been in the quantum realm?"

He nodded, barely. "It fucks with your head. I'm… I'm not the same. I've seen… too much, Nat. Too many possibilities. It's not- We aren't… Your plan isn't going to work. Not the way you want it to. Not the way Steve needs it to."

"But it will work."

"With great cost, yes."

"Can she…" Natasha twisted the handle of her umbrella. "Will she help us?"

"She's dead." His face changed then. Harder. Angry. Natasha took a stunned a step back. "A man showed up, crazed, ranting about too many sorcerers. Killed her as she meditated. Right in front of me."

Natasha blanched.

"Ask him if the man's name was Mordo." Rhodey sounded more uncertain than Natasha had ever heard him.

"Who was it, Clint? What was his name?"

"Called himself Mordo." Clint was seething. "A disgraced master."

"Shit," Steve sighed.

Natasha flinched. "Where is he now, do you know?"

"I killed him before he could kill me." All emotion drained from his face.

"He's dead." Natasha reiterated. Clint nodded sharply once. "So you what? Took Ronin's name, wear her colors, and what?"

"I'm going back in there. Into the quantum realm. I'm going to fix this at any cost." He stood rigid, ready for a fight. "And I kill anyone who tries to get in my way."

Natasha stared at him, her face hard and unreadable.

"I told you. I died that day. Hawkeye is dead. I'm not an Avenger. I'm not one of the good guys." He reached for his blade. "I'm Ronin now, and all I want is..."

"We have it." Natasha cut in. Clint glared at her in return. "Pym's work. His portal. We've got it at the compound. Lang showed up one day…"

"Oh god." Clint groaned and Natasha actually laughed.

"But he's been there too. Knows how to get in." She caught his eye and smiled. "He can get in. And you can be guide. We can do this. But we need you."

"It won't work. You'll suffer for it. All of you." He turned his back to her.

"So I should let you suffer alone?" She snapped. "Damn it, Clint. We all lost… We're all broken. You lost more than others, and that, it's shit. I know. But you don't have to do this, any of it, by yourself."

"It's impossible. The cost, it's going to be too much. I'm not strong enough, Nat. Not you, not Steve, not even Bruce's big ugly alter ego…"

"We've got Danvers." Natasha whispered.

"What?" Clint turned slowly back to face her. "She… how?"

"Fury contacted her. Before…"

Clint resheathed his blade and sighed. "It's not enough. It won't be enough."

"It will be." She stepped boldly right up to him, showing no hesitation. "But we need you."

"I'm. Not. An. Avenger. That guy is dead."

Without breaking eye contact, Natasha mumbled a quick, "I'm sorry," twisted the handle from her umbrella, and pressed the release, stunning Clint with the I.C.E.R. blast. "Now!"

A portal opened as Clint, conscious but just barely, collapsed backwards into the compound. Bruce and Thor were ready to catch him and haul him off to the infirmary.

"Restrain him," Natasa called after them as Wong assisted her through the portal and let it close behind her. "He's going to be pissed when the shock wears off." She handed Wong Clint's blade and he nodded.

"As I suspected. A relic from the sanctum." He nodded and handed it back. "It chose him. He speaks the truth." Wong shook his head sadly. "Ronin was a good student. She could have been a master." He looked up at Natasha. "I hope your friend-"

"He can. He will." She placed a hand on his shoulder.

"What now?" Scott appeared out from behind a bank of monitors. He looked at the bundle of wires in his hand and chucked it carelessly over his shoulder.

"Get your suitcase, Lang." Natasha nodded to the training field just beyond the window. "It's time."

A/N

*There's a lot of varying comic book lore about how Clint became Ronin. I completely fabricated this one.

*I.C.E.R. is Incapacitating Cartridge Emitting Railgun, a non-lethal stun gun developed by Fitz and Simmons for SHIELD on the show Agents of SHIELD (gotta represent).

*And of course, Scott's suitcase is actually Hank Pym's lab.