Hey all. I have never written for the Avengers before. I just got into the series a month ago, and I'm obsessed. I saw Endgame, and I really wanted to write something for Natasha. I know everyone else is probably doing this too, so I hope it's different enough to not be the same. Please be kind. I'm still new to the Marvel Universe :)

April 28, 2019: I made two small tweaks to this since posting it.

Sitting in the water with the soul stone in his hand, Clint felt an emptiness. How had they not realized before the price for this stone? He fumbled with his time travel band, wanting to get away from Vormir as fast as he could. Out of reflex, he looked for Natasha, and it cut like a knife when it hit him that he was never going to see her again alive. The image of her lying on the ground staring up at him was trapped in his mind, and he knew it was going to haunt him forever.

...

They had won. Clint reunited with his family, and he felt immense relief that they were back, but the losses that had to happen to get here was stuck on his mind. Tony's funeral was in a couple of days. Everyone was feeling it. It seemed to overshadow what happened on Vormir, and Clint didn't want Natasha's sacrifice to be forgotten. He was planning on what to do for her. He looked at his family as they went about their day. He hadn't even told them yet. He dreaded it. They were sitting at the table later that evening when Lila asked the question.

"Where is Aunt Natasha?" she asked. "Is she okay?"

Clint felt the air sucked out of him. He knew he'd have to tell them, but he didn't know how to even start. His wife, Laura, saw his expression, and without even asking, she knew the answer.

"Dad?" Cooper prompted, looking back and forth between his mother and father. Nathaniel was even watching closely.

"Your Aunt Natasha loved you all so much," Clint started. "So much that she wanted to make sure you all were going to be okay."

"Dad, what are you saying?" Lila asked, sounding afraid.

"She's not coming home," Clint said quietly.

"She's dead isn't she?" Cooper asked, tearing up. Laura reached and squeezed his hand. Nathaniel started to cry too. Lila was still looking at Clint.

"Yes, Coop, you're right," Clint bowed his head. Lila banged the table and stood up, making everyone look at her. Then she stormed off.

"Lila," Laura called after her.

"I got it," Clint said, getting up and following his daughter. He found her sitting outside crying. He sat down beside her.

"Why did she have to die?" Lila asked through her tears.

"It's hard to explain," Clint answered.

"Try," Lila demanded. He took in a deep breath and exhaled.

"She saved me, Lila," he told her finally. "She saved me so I could come home and be with all of you."

Lila took in the information, but Clint could tell she didn't know what to do with it. He still didn't even really know what to do with it himself.

"I hate this," Lila said after a moment, sniffing and wiping at her face.

"I hate it too."

"I can't believe this. I'm really going to miss her."

"I know," Clint said, putting his arm around her. She buried her face into his chest. Natasha had loved his kids as if they were really her niece and nephews, her family. Clint knew how much worse they would feel if he had sacrificed himself instead. Natasha had indeed saved not only him but his family from the grief of losing him. He wished he could thank her, but somehow he knew she already knew that.

...

Clint was lying in bed that night trying to sleep, but it wasn't coming. Laura was sound asleep beside him. They had shared a few tears together themselves talking about Natasha and her sacrifice. Clint was having a hard time not thinking about it. Every time he shut his eyes, he could see her looking at him and telling him to let go. After tossing and turning for a long time, he eventually fell asleep. He found himself in a meadow with the sun shining brightly. He shielded his eyes, seeing a figure standing a little ways ahead of him. Looking around, Clint didn't see anyone else. When he turned back, the figure was right in front of him.

"Hey, you," Natasha said, startling him.

"Natasha?" he asked, staring. She smiled back and tilted her head at him.

"You look surprised."

"I am. Why are you here? Where are we?"

"Clint, I just want you to know that I'm all right," Natasha said. Clint reached to touch her, but he couldn't. It was like some force field was around her. As he looked closely, she appeared to be almost glowing. She was also in a pure white gown.

"Where are we?" he asked again.

"The most beautiful place ever," she answered, still smiling. "Clint, I'm all right."

"I'm sorry," Clint said, feeling himself choking up.

"Don't be. You gave me a family, so I made sure you got yours back."

"Nat, the kids...Laura..."

"Tell them I love them," Natasha interrupted. She turned to walk away.

"Nat!" Clint shouted, trying to run after her. She turned back.

"You can't come with me," she said. "Not yet."

"What?" Clint asked.

"It's not your time," she answered.

"Nat, you know I love you, right? I'll miss you. You are like a sister to me," Clint said.

"I know," Natasha nodded. She smiled sadly. "It's time to go home, Clint."

"Nat, I wish I could change it..." he started.

"You can't change it. It's okay," she said. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Nat...thank you," he said. "I...I don't know how to say goodbye."

"It's not goodbye forever, Clint," Natasha stopped him. "It's goodbye for now. I'll always be right here." She tapped her heart. Clint put a hand over his, and she turned to walk away again. Clint watched her walk until she disappeared into the light. Then he started to cry.

He opened his eyes to find Laura shaking him.

"Clint," she said. "Wake up."

Clint sat up, shaking. Natasha's face was burned into his mind. He rubbed his face. There were actual tears there too.

"What happened?" Laura asked. "You were crying."

"I, uh, had a dream," Clint answered. "But it felt so real."

"You want to talk about it?"

"It was Nat," Clint said, looking at her. "She told me she's okay, that she loves you guys."

"That sounds nice," Laura said gently, touching his face. "You got a proper goodbye."

"I did," Clint nodded slowly. It was a better image to have than the one he'd been struggling with. He still felt sad, but knowing that she was okay somehow made him feel a little better. Tomorrow, he'd give her a small funeral with his family. She deserved a proper send off, and who better to do it than the family she loved. He'd invite Bruce and Steve too. He rested back onto his pillow, his eyes growing heavy. Natasha was in a good place, and she looked happy. It was a small comfort, but it was enough.

I have had two dreams of two different people I've lost in my life that were like this where they told me they were all right, and I wanted to write a similar experience for Clint. Even though it's a dream, it somehow feels real, and it's comforting. I hope you enjoyed. I might write more for this fandom, but I'll have to watch more of the films to get more of an idea on how to write for the characters. Until next time!