Yusuke and the Customers

AN: Hello All, its been over a decade since I've written in this dearly beloved fandom. Arguably Yu Yu Hakusho is what got me into anime in the early 2000's, on Toonami. Though Rurouni Kenshin and Gundam Wing were pretty awesome too.

I've had this idea kicking around in my head for years. Some of these tales are based off of my experiences, and others are based off of stories from the website NotAlwaysRight, which I highly suggest you check out. I swear I remember reading in the manga that Yusuke goes and works for Keiko's family's ramen stand. My manga is packed away so I can't read the book, and I wasn't able to confirm. But this is fanfic, so the source material is meant to be tweaked, right? Anyways, we'll see if I add any more chapters.

Summary: Keiko had cause to regret suggesting Yusuke come work for her family's restaurant. Like with any customer service job there were difficult customers. She kept track of her favorite stories.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho

. . .

Keiko had cause to regret suggesting Yusuke come work for her family's restaurant. He had calmed down a lot, and hadn't killed anyone so far. Considering what a slacker he had been in school he had a surprisingly strong work ethic. Keiko could only suppose Kazuma and Kurama had rubbed off on him over the years. All this wasn't to say there weren't… incidences. Like with any customer service job there were difficult customers. She kept track of her favorite stories.

. . .

There was a line of customers for the lunch rush. Yusuke was feeling a little pressured, but only to keep his temper in check. After all he had been through it'd take more than 20 customers to rattle him. He finished with one customer and the next one stepped up.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

The man pulled a gun from his pocket, careful to keep it from everyone else's view. "Give me the money."

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Look, there are people behind you waiting. Are you going to order or not?"

The man raised his voice and the gun. "Give me all the money in the register!"

Several people behind him stepped back.

"No," Yusuke said in an annoyed tone. "Now are you going to order something or not?"

"No! Give-"

The man wasn't able to finish his sentence. Yusuke yanked the gun out of his grip with one hand and punched him with the other. He jumped over the counter, grabbed the would-be robber and threw him out of the restaurant. After settling himself behind the counter again Yusuke smiled at the remaining customers.

"I can help whoever is next."

They all stared at him.

. . .

It was a relatively quiet day. Yusuke liked days like this- he could get a nice nap in. It was ruined by a customer walking in. Yusuke mentally sighed, went to the register and gave the standard greeting.

"Yeah, I want a cup of tea," the man ordered. He put a large bill down on the counter.

Yusuke was annoyed that he had to break such a large bill on the cheapest item on the menu, but none the less did the transaction.

"Hey, you shorted me!" the man yelled.

Now, while Yusuke was not the best at academics, working the cash register was easy. On top of that, years of fighting had honed Yusuke's observation skills. He knew he hadn't shorted the guy.

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"Nope."

"I demand to see the manager."

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Its up your sleeve."

The man froze, then ran out the door.

Shrugging Yusuke drank the tea himself.

. . .

"There is a hair in my ramen!"

Yusuke looked down at the bowl. There was a blonde strand of hair on top of the ramen.

"So?"

"So! I demand a free meal! This is disgusting!"

"Yeah, that's not happening."

"What! This place is dirty! I-"

"I made the ramen and that is not my hair."

The woman looked at Yusuke's short, definitely not blonde hair and scowled. She dropped the bowl on the floor and left.

Yusuke seriously thought about throwing the bowl at her, but refrained himself.

. . .

Arguing with customers was probably one of the most entertaining things Yusuke could do. They weren't scary at all. Kuwabara's kitten was more scary then these losers. It was really fun to watch them get so upset though. This current customer wanted a free meal for some stupid reason and there was no way Yusuke was going to give in.

"Look here you stupid punk, you're going to give me a free meal!"

"I really don't think I am."

The other customers were watching the argument with interest. The regulars were well familiar with Yusuke and settled in to enjoy the show.

"I'll kill you, you stupid-"

"Hey!" Yusuke held out a hand and yelled, startling the guy into shutting up. "I charge for every death threat. Pay up.

That threw the guy for a loop. "What?"

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Every time someone threatens to kill me they need to pay me. Seriously, is it that hard?"

The guy stared at him.

"Apparently it is. Look, either pay up and continue losing this argument, or leave."

"You're crazy," the guy said.

"Naw, just tired of the death threats. You have no idea how many I've gotten."

The guy looked at Yusuke again and left.

"No one ever wants to pay," Yusuke complained.

. . .

"Where is my food!"

Yusuke turned to look at an angry woman. He looked over to his left where a bowl of ramen was sitting on the counter. "Its right there."

"You should have brought it to the table!"

"That's not how this works."

"This is no way to treat a lady!"

"Well, when I see one I'll bring her food to her."

The woman left in a huff. Yusuke enjoyed her food.

. . .

Kuwabara wiped tears from his eyes as he tried to calm his laughing. He didn't even feel guilty about laughing so hard. The stories Urameshi shared were just so funny. There was no way he couldn't laugh. To think, the toughest Spirit Detective getting yelled at by some prissy middle aged woman.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Yusuke grumbled. He couldn't help but smirk a little. Some of the stories were pretty funny. He really did have good self-control, which enabled him not to punch the living daylights out of all the stupid people he met. Telling Kuwabara about the stories was pretty good too, because his friend's reactions were funny.

"Do you have any more?" Kuwabara asked.

Yusuke thought a moment. "Well, I do have a few more."