A/N: This story is a calboration piece between myself and CTR69. All mistakes are our own. We have both been working dilegently for your reading pleasure. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.
*WARNING* MATURE READERS ONLY! THERE IS ADULT THEMES IN THE STORY *WARNING*
Disclaimer: Sheldon has bought all right to Penny and himself and has given us express permission to pair this couple up... Oh... Sheldon's a fictional character? He certainly didn't seem this way while pushing us to write this...well if your sure... Then all ownership belomgs to the creators of The Big Bang Theory. From now on know as TBBT.
THIS IS A SHENNY STORY. PLEASE DON'T READ UNLESS YOU ARE SHIPPERS OR GENUINLY INTERESTED. ALL FLAMES WILL BE LAUGHED AT AND OPEN FOR FUNNY RESPONSES. Constructive critisum is welcomed. Please be polite.
Thank you and as always, Happy Reading!
Saturday evening
Like so many times before, Sheldon was making his way up the staircase to the fourth floor, pondering on his beautiful blonde neighbor. It was Saturday and Saturday was laundry night. As of late, Penny had been joining him for these relaxing evenings. Yes, she tended to prattle on and on about her week, but he had come to enjoy the alone time with her. He enjoyed her simpleton way of thinking. Her general pleasure in the smallest, simplest things brought him a new perspective to life. She made him think about things he never cared about, because… well, because she cared. He found himself constantly stumped at some of the things he didn't know, yet she did.
He had to google quite a few things since meeting her, just to get a basic idea of what she is talking about. She has always challenged him. At first he found this infuriating. He hated the fact she knew things he didn't. He had an IQ of 187 and yet this uneducated attractive blonde knew things he, Doctor Sheldon Cooper phd phd, didn't. As time went on, he learned to appreciate the challenge. So little in his life challenged him this way, that the rarity was nice.
Sheldon reached the third floor while contemplating his neighbor. In the last year or so, he had come to enjoy her company. More than that, he liked it. She was utter chaos, but she brought challenge and uniqueness to his life. She alone could make his mind wonder on things other than science. She alone made him wonder about relationships and if he should try one for once.
Her laughter traveled down the stairs and made his stomach squirm, heart race, and a genuine smile appear on his face. Sheldon reached the fourth floor anticipating Penny's nightly response. Sheldon looked up to say hi to Penny, however she was pressed up against her apartment door, while some netherandual tried to stick his tongue down her throat. A funny feeling stole over him as he watched his neighbor, his Penny Blossom, reacting to the man. Before Penny could see him, Sheldon dashed into his apartment, going straight to his room to think over this new feeling.
Penny sighed as she shut her door. Her date had been a complete failure. Not only was the conversation completely tedious, but it did nothing for her. She felt as if he was pawing her instead of trying to woo her. He absolutely bored her to tears with his talks of sports and how "great" of a catch he is. To top it all off… she missed her laundry night.
Penny knew she would have to make it up to Sheldon, somehow. She decided to surf the web for ideas on how to make up a missed routine event of a neurotic homeostasis gorgeous man. Penny really wished she had told her friend 'no', when she called about the double date. Maybe she should ask Sheldon for lessons on how to tell people no. He could do it with such ease, more or less careless about hurting other people's feelings.
To make up for lost time and bad mood, she prepared herself a bubbly hot bath with a glass of wine, and a little self love. Simply relaxing to the tones of gentle ambient music, taking her mind off things, before calling it a night.
Sunday evening
Penny barged into 4A without knocking.
"Sheldon, did you change the wifi password again?"
"Good evening, Penny." Her neighbour pretended to not care for her. He casually continued to type on his laptop, not losing a beat. It hurt her, when he didn't even look at her. Penny sighed, she knew Sheldon did this out of spite.
"Can you please tell me what it is?" She asked in a pleading voice.
"I'm under no obligation to provide a private information to a stranger." Sheldon spoke in a strict tone.
"A stranger? What are you talking about? I'm your friend, Sheldon!"
"Well..." He tried to lead her to his hurt feelings.
"Oh my god, is this about missing a laundry night yesterday?" Penny stepped closer into his living room. "Look, I'm sorry I missed out, but I have my own life, Sheldon. You can't stop me going out on a date..." Penny noticed his expression. Sheldon tried to hide it, but she captured a glimpse of it.
"Then I suggest you get your own wifi as well!" He suddenly turned around and raised his voice at her. It scared her. He didn't mean to. His jealousy showed and Penny knew. They shared a moment of silence.
"The date sucked. He was an idiot, so full of himself."
"Your reactions on the hallway begged to differ."
"I'm sorry? Well, at least i had a date!" Penny was losing her patience with Sheldon.
"That's hardly an accomplishment, every man only wants to have coit..." Sheldon kept returning the stabs. Penny threw her hands up in despair, she didn't need to hear the end of it. She already knew what he thought of her promiscuity.
"Shut it, Sheldon." She hissed at him and pointed her finger, warning him to stop.
Penny turned around and headed towards the door. They both knew they hit dead end again. As the doorknob turned, she heard him again.
"Penny, wait." She halted. She didn't turn around, just waited for his apology. "It's Pennymissedlaundrynightforadate. No spaces."
"Thanks! Ass..." Penny whispered the last word and left his apartment, closing his door louder than usual. What the hell was that all about?
That night, two people fell asleep with a knot in their stomachs, thinking about the words they spat to each other. They were angry on each other, but felt the need to apologise as well. Penny knew Sheldon was becoming protective of her. He was not a robot everyone thought her. He had some kind of feelings for her. Feelings he never felt before, but he could sense, were becoming more apparent.
Monday evening
"Hey guys." Penny smiled as she entered the boy's apartment for their scheduled Thai dinner.
"Hi Penny." Leonard and Howard greeted as she took her usual spot on the middle of the couch, next to Sheldon. Raj gave his customary greeting of a wave. While Sheldon just kept on talking about some science thingy. He neither greeted her or even acknowledged her.
"Leonard, want to catch me up?" Penny asked.
"No idea really. He's been like this all day." Leonard replied while looking at Sheldon.
"Yeah anytime one of us brings up your name, he gets like this." Howard continued.
"Huh…" Penny pondered on the current situation. "Well, I guess I'll just eat in my place then." She reached out and began to fill out her plate with a bit of everything. Sheldon observed her movements and waited for the perfect moment.
"Yes Penny. Do come over, be a freeloader and scamper off with our food." Sheldon replied without batting an eyelash.
"What the hell, Sheldon?" Penny exploded. She threw her plate back onto the coffee table. Her appetite was lost to a feel of anger and guilt. How dare he embarrass her again like this?
"I am only being truthful. You are an uneducated freeloader who can contribute nothing to this conversation. So you may leave." Sheldon replied without looking up from his dinner.
Penny stormed out furious as she yelled "It's so back on." The last bit of eye contact between blue and green fury gave them an indication of what's to come.
Tuesday evening
Penny saw Sheldon and the rest of the gang enter the Cheesecake Factory and sit at their reserved spot right at 6pm. She waited until 6:10 pm before heading to their table. She brought the group their regular drinks and left without saying a word.
"Dude, what did you do?" Raj asked Sheldon. He was their usual suspect everytime.
"Me?" Sheldon asked. "I did nothing except sit here on time and waiting for our server to take our orders."
"Well you must have done something… She didn't even say hi to us." Howard commented.
"I have done nothing wrong. She must be busy." Sheldon looked over the menu while watching Penny smile at another table. He could catch brief sounds of her laughter with his vulcan hearing.
"You need to apologize to her, Sheldon. What you said to her last night..." Leonard was always on Penny's side. Sheldon only laughed briefly at his bespectacled roommate.
"Apologising would bring my defeat. Unlike you, Leonard, Penny has no power over me. On the contrary. Before you know it, I will make her succumb, to crawl on her knees before me." Sheldon announced victoriously in his arrogant tone. Howard spat out his drink and coughed loudly, catching a few glimpses from surrounding tables.
The whole time, Sheldon remained oblivious, not realizing how dirty that sounded to them.
Penny returned with their usual orders. Sheldon's was a perfect barbeque bacon cheeseburger with barbeque, bacon, and cheese on the side. Not a single thing was wrong with it and yet Sheldon felt as if something was wrong. Penny once again left without so much of a hi.
"Whatever you did, fix it!" Raj replied as he was stuck with his Indian food even though he had wanted a burger tonight.
"I am doing no such thing." Sheldon replied as he put together his burger and took a bite. It tasted different. The burger tasted the same and yet...different. He could not put his finger on it but it was starting to bother him. Penny refilled their drinks and left the check, all without saying a word. Leonard tried to fix it on his own, when he handed her the money.
"I'm so sorry for his behaviour, Penny. Is there anything I can do? Do I need to call his mother again?" He looked her with her pleading eyes.
"I'm busy, Leonard. See you tomorrow." Penny continued with her shift, paying little attention to him. She took his money and smiled like to any other customer.
Wednesday evening
"Hey guys who's ready to kick some butt?" Penny asked cheerfully as she entered 4A for another night of gaming with her guys. She won't allow Sheldon to destroy her mood today.
"Hi Penny. Whose team are you on tonight?" Leonard asked her kindly as he set up Halo.
"What do you mean whose team, Leonard? Penny is always on my team." Sheldon replied aghast, interrupting them.
"Actually…" Penny caused everyone to look at her. "I think I'll be on Howard's team tonight."
"But Penny…" Sheldon looked troubled.
"I'm sorry… am I educated enough to be on your team?" Penny replied looking challengingly at Sheldon. Silently daring him to make a comment. Everyone felt some sort of tension building up.
The other three looked at each other knowing this was going to end with another panty pinata fight. Or as they call it, PPF.
"Your desire to win is cute, Penny. But still no match to my superior hand-eye coordination and spatial awareness. While you can barely remember a single order in the Cheesecake Factory, I have a capacity to follow each player on the map at all times." Sheldon replied arrogantly.
"Oh, it's so on…" Penny's eyes narrowed as she anticipated her revenge. She wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug smile off his face by a no-scope headshot. "Come on, Howard!" She scooted to the right side on the couch, practically into Howards lap.
Gameplay commenced and to the guys it seemed as if Sheldon and Penny were out for blood. Within an hour the guys' avatars were sitting next to each other watching the two go on a death hunt for each other. Each round they quickly disposed all the noobs, leaving with just one-on-one showdown.
"Gotcha!" Penny yelled as she shot what she thought was Sheldon. Her shot gave away her position, leading Sheldon to an easy kill.
BOOM! 'Headshot' Game's announcement echoed into the room.
"WHAT!" Yelled Penny as she watched her avatar get blown to pieces.
"No way!" The guys marveled the glorious moment, while comments flooded the in-game chat.
"I have told you once, you are messing with forces beyond your ken." Sheldon yelled standing up in pride and facing her.
"And I've told you," Penny yelled back standing right in front of Sheldon, poking him the chest with each word. "Your Ken can kiss my Barbie!" She hated his smug look staring down to her. She swore one day she will get up on the cushion and give him the same treatment.
Sheldon stood toe to toe, faces so close to each other they felt the others breath on their face.
"Umm…guys….it's just a game." Leonard tried to calm them down.
"Shut it Leonard!" They both responded turning to give him a death stare at the same time.
Leonard held his hands up in defeat. They turned back to staring each other down.
"This means war." They both growled. "It is on!"
The glared a bit longer before turning away from each other. Penny to her apartment. Sheldon to his room. The guys looked at each other as if they just found out that the comic book store burnt to the ground.
That night set the mood for the next several weeks. The arguments getting louder and louder. Longer and longer. If they didn't know any better Leonard, Raj, and Howard would think this was all some kind of foreplay. But Penny would never go for a crazy-ass wackadoodle and Sheldon had no deal. She continued with her futile saturday dating nights, just to get into his face, he continued to block her access to his food and wifi in a war of attrition.
So it was no surprise. When the next fight broke out.