"If you don't like bitter food why would you order black coffee?"

"I need the caffeine."

'This isn't a date' is what Akutagawa wishes to think.

Nobody has a date at nine in the morning, nobody should be this energetic at nine in the morning, Nakajima Atsushi is both. He is energetic and chatty and therefore irritating. Now that the lump has gone down a bit, how he still finds him cute –when his hair is an utter mess of white and black, the hoodie he's wearing looks two sizes too big on the body and three too small on the sleeves, and likes plumb-and-banana milkshake– is a mystery.

"You are weird." They choose Akutagawa's usual spot to sit. It feels like any other morning; Nakajima is a nice variation.

Nakajima isn't attending college right now, though he would like to when economically possible. He works part-time at a convenience store near the station. Even if it is a pain having to deal with troublemaker clients or old ladies that only want to chit chat, Atsushi finds it enjoyable. When talking, Nakajima does a lot of gestures and moves his hands around. Now that he has finished his story about a guy who tried to steal his phone, Akutagawa can't help but look at his hands. They are blue and green on the sides and on the fingers, but Atsushi has told him he doesn't paint or work on anything art related. Trying to make Nakajima tell him then why his hands are a colorful mess has ended in failure. Tsk. Atsushi also tells him about his cat; Akutagawa curses his luck: he is allergic.

"Is this because I called you simple yesterday?"

Nakajima doesn't answer though, slurping his smoothie with a smug gaze. The little shit.

"Where do you know Tanizaki from?", asks Nakajima.

When they arrived yesterday, Akutagawa surprisingly didn't kill Tanizaki. Not because both had been friends for years and years and years… and it would be a pity to loss him, it was because the lucky bastard was talking to their professor. Although surprised of seeing both arriving together, Tanizaki decided it would make presentations easier and formally introduced Atsushi to Akutagawa. He said Nakajima was a 'free spirit' and laughed while friendly patting his shoulder. Whatever that meant, it caught Akutagawa's attention and now, sitting in front of Nakajima Atsushi he started to understand what Tanizaki referred to. Then the lecture started, Dazai-san making such a long introduction Akutagawa knew Oda-sensei was starting to get embarrassed from it.

Good.

At his left was Tanizaki and next to him was this Atsushi guy he just met. He looked ready to jump on his seat from the emotion. Such a child. It was entertaining though.

"Childhood friends. We've been together since we were five or so. What about you?"

"We met at uh–– nearby the store, yeah. But, wow, childhood friends. You must be tired of seeing each other all the time," he giggles. Atsushi giggles, oh my God that's the cutest sound I ever heard.

Nakajima's answer doesn't satisfy him, but Akutagawa lets it slip distracted by other things.

"Yes."

"Oh, it was a joke. You needn't to—"

"Relax," Akutagawa puts a know-it-all grin. "We actually attended different high schools. That's when he got his hair dyed."

"I knew it was dyed!", Nakajima looks proud of himself, hum. "Yours isn't?"

"This is stress."

Atsushi snorts before exploding in thousands of big laughers that make half the café look at them. But it's okay. He feels okay when Atsushi laughs, he doesn't care about anything. Not in a nihilistic kind of way, more in an 'it's completely fine and I don't care if people think otherwise'.

"Sorry, I didn't know you could joke like that."

"I wasn't joking."

"Wait, really?"

Akutagawa takes a sip of his tea and ignores Nakajima making mental calculations to discover if it's possible for hair to do that when under stress. The skateboard that hit him yesterday is next to him, against the wall. It has a lot of colorful graffities of cartoonish doodles or stylized words. He identifies the tittle of one of Mishima's works squeezed in between a cute Kirby with a cap backwards and a purple-something unrecognizable.

Maybe his taste isn't as bad as Akutagawa thought.

"Why skating?"

"It's cheap. I tried to get a motorcycle license but failed the exam and I haven't tried since."

Akutagawa hums. "Was that the first time you hit someone?"

"Oh my God I said I was sorry! How much longer are you gonna bring it back?". Nakajima hides his face under his crossed arms, exasperated. Akutagawa decides he'll keep doing it as long as Nakajima's reaction keeps that way. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"You hit me. With a skateboard. It hurt. Are the drawings on the back yours too?"

"Oh well," Atsushi stops his fussy complains and takes the board, facing the back towards him. "Yeah. Yeah, they are mine… they aren't that good compared with others around there but, uh… well…"

"They are…, good." Akutagawa has never understood a thing about art. He doesn't understand a thing about flirting either, but Gin told him yesterday that flattering his date was more than recommended. Akutagawa wasn't waiting for a chance to flatter Nakajima without sounding forced and out-of-place, because this isn't a date. Probably.

Just him and the stranger that yesterday almost knocked him out in the middle of the street and that Akutagawa finds cute and interesting, so he asked him on a date minutes later.

So.

Yeah.

This is most certainly a date, isn't it?!

"I don't know much about art, but I like yours. It's creative."

"Thank you, Akutagawa. It's… nice to hear that."

Akutagawa blushes, his ears turn pink and he can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. Nakajima Atsushi's smile is warm like a day of May. He wants to write about spring evenings, summer mornings and hanabis. The toothy, embarrassed grin relaxes into a soft smile and Nakajima slurps the last of his smoothie. The café is as full as always, but Akutagawa feels like Atsushi may be the only one there, he radiates so much light. Is this what Gin called a 'crush'? How does one deal with that? He has a project he must submit this Friday. Akutagawa has zero time to lose on all these useless poems about Atsushi that accumulate on his mind.

His class starts in twenty minutes, more of less and he can't concentrate on anything.

"Is your class starting soon?". Atsushi asks, checking the clock behind him. "Then I'll leave you to it. Tanizaki told me you were having problems with this week's project. The Great Elite having problems." He remarks.

That's it, he is killing Tanizaki. "I'm having… difficulties, yeah. Nothing worthy of being labeled as 'problem'."

"You always have everything under control, huh? Your works are good. Being confident is natural then, I guess." The smug grin on Atsushi feels incriminatory somehow. "That's so cool...", he adds later, putting on a genuine melancholic expression. "Oh, I don't want to bother you anymore, Akutagawa. Thanks for the drink."

(Akutagawa doesn't think he is being a bother, but he doesn't know how to phrase those words to him.

Akutagawa did say he'll treat him, after all. Atsushi chose the cheapest refreshment even if Akutagawa told him he could choose whichever he felt like having. Yes, Akutagawa is broke this month. And yes, it was a silly offer, but he was panicking because Atsushi did appear to their date and he didn't expect him to.)

"It's nothing." (He says instead.)

They get up and leave the café. What do people say now? 'Goodbye'? 'See ya later'? 'See you later'? Maybe he could just finger gun himself out of this? God, Ryunosuke, stop. He turns, deciding to fade this part of his life the best way and wave him goodbye or something, but Atsushi is faster.

"Actually, here. Y-You can have this. It isn't much but I'll feel bad if I let you lose all that money." He hits Akutagawa's hand with two notes of one hundred yens each. "So… yeah. Good luck on classes today and see ya later!". He takes his skate, jumps on it and disappears rolling down the street towards the bus station.

Just like that, Nakajima Atsushi disappears from his view like he had never been here in the first place.

Akutagawa drops at the seat next to Tanizaki. His friend is focused on the laptop in front of him, recopying the last notes. Good, he'll never see it coming. He is getting rid of him this moment, one good hit and no more Tanizaki Junichiro to run his mouth about him to Atsushi.

"Is… Is anything wrong, Akutagawa?". Tanizaki is good at perceiving him – and his murderous area, as he has called it before. In the end, Akutagawa decides to spare his life one more week, because the books at his house to help him with the project were borrowed from the library by Tanizaki. Everyone would suspect if Tanizaki never went to return them and Akutagawa could get caught. "No."

"Did the date go bad? You were nice to Atsushi-kun, right?". Tanizaki overprotective side is as cute as it is annoying.

"I was nice. He was nice. Everything was perfectly nice. Now stop threatening me with your pen."

That's enough for Tanizaki to go back to his work. Tanizaki is good at writing short tales, Akutagawa likes the way he uses real people to inspire his characters. Later he can try and guess who they really are.

They have this policy where they only show each other their projects once they are already submitted and presented. He has tried to break this stupid, absurd rule – Akutagawa's stupid, absurd rule he created back when they were first years – because he really really really wants to know what is Tanizaki's 'hope'. And maybe he could get a clue on what his is.

"Can I ask you something?". Akutagawa's eyes follow Dazai who has just entered the class ready to start today's lesson. "Sure," answers Tanizaki. "What did you exactly tell Nakajima about me?"

"Why?"

"He mentioned my works were good. As far as I know, they're not published anywhere––– "

"I told you we need to make you a blog or something, it's such a waste––– "

"Did you show my drafts to Nakajima?"

"Whaaaat? No."

"So, you did."

Tanizaki starts sweating, nervous. Akutagawa has a huge problem sharing his works. Tanizaki and Dazai-san are okay, his sister and her girlfriend too because they are family. But the rest are a huge no. Getting the highest score usually makes his classmates ask him if they could see his assignment to see what they are lacking. Akutagawa must look like an asshole when he answers with a redundant 'no'. This is extremely personal, having strangers look at it like a copy guide to improve makes him feel insulted.

Maybe he is an Elite.

"Remember last week when we had that argument because you told me I deserved more score and I told you you were the one who deserved more? On Fukazawa's class?" Akutagawa nods, how Dazai hasn't hushed them to be quite is surprising. They are not making a lot of noise either way but talking in class makes him anxious. "Well, I got angry, so I let it out on Atsushi and ask him to compare. Since then he grew more and more interested on your other assignments and uh…"

"You have a hard time saying no, you and your useless brother complex."

"Wow." Tanizaki seems hurt. "Anyway. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

From this he can deduce that Nakajima likes his nonsense drafts. That's neat. Yeah, he is cool with it. He isn't, like, dying thinking he said all those things about "inconsistent characters" and "bland writing", criticizing Oda's work to be for "simple minded people" to Nakajima yesterday when he knew about his –obviously incomparable to Oda's– work with thousands of flaws, hopeless, and bland language. Akutagawa really did that. DID I JUST USE NEAT? Nope. He is okay. Perfectly calm.

Tanizaki better stop looking at him like that this instant.

"Don't worry." He says. Tanizaki doesn't seem to believe him, it's probably his dead tone of voice.

"Uh… you okay?"

"Yeah. Just feeling like karma is fucking me over."

They don't talk about it for the rest of the class. They are learning about Death Poems and when Mishima Yukio's comes in the whiteboard, Akutagawa can't help but think about the skateboard. His mind goes from what Tanizaki just confessed to Nakajima happily slurping that disgusting mix of fruits and milk. Soon Akutagawa is scribbling what he felt some minutes ago in the coziness of the cafe, sitting in front of Nakajima like that moment was eternal.

Reality – who is a bitch – proved to be the opposite. Moments end and so does their time together at the cafe. He is hoping he has the unpleasant pleasure of getting hit by Nakajima again one of these days. Maybe he could explain himself and not look like a pretentious idiot who insults other people's writing out of frustration with his own work.

But it doesn't happen.

It's Thursday and he hasn't had news about Nakajima for two days. He is disappointed but in the end is probably better like this. During these days he can't stop thinking what kind of impression he made to Atsushi when he did that.

He really did that.

Criticizing a published and promising new author's work is easier when no one knows what you write. You can be one of those internet gremlins that aren't satisfied with anything and are always complaining on social media. But Nakajima knew his work, he had read his poems before. Oh, fuc—

Nakajima has probably discovered by now that Akutagawa is just a meter and seventy-two centimeters of bitterness, frustration and jealousy, with college-wise good skills but real world-wise mediocre skills. God, he is such an idiot. He completely understands why Nakajima doesn't want to know anything else about him.

And because Akutagawa doesn't do things halfway, he also has the assignment problem. 'Hope', what stupid nonsense. Akutagawa has been laying the past two days, watching some buzz quiz program and getting anything related to biology or chemistry wrong instead of trying to at least understand what his professor wants him to write about.

Hope is stupid. Didn't Vergil say to get rid of it to Dante? The dude lived in the 21st century while all his acquaintances stayed in the 13th.

"Brother, I'm leaving. I'll be back for dinner." Gin shouts, standing close to the door. She's like two big steps away from Akutagawa, there's no need for shouting. Gin does it because Akutagawa never answers, she can't never know if Akutagawa is listening to her. "Don't you have homework to do?"

"Yes."

"…is this related to that Nakajima guy?" Gin walks up to him, reading his brother's mood.

"He read my poems, Gin. And I shitted on his favorite author like I had any right to do so. Like I am so good I can go trashing people who are actually good."

Gin rolls her eyes.

"You are still a student, brother, stop comparing. The problem is not your poems but that high and mighty personality that you have."

"You are supposed to make me feel better."

"I'm supposed to be meeting Ichiyou in less than a quarter of hour, actually. In any case, if Nakajima did go to your date that means his impression of you wasn't that bad."

Akutagawa groans in disgust with his life and turns to face the couch. He can hear Gin sigh once again. "I'm taking back the money I lend you, it's my time to pay."

Gin and her girlfriend had created a nice system to pay each time one of them. Sometimes they have home dates, usually here because Higuchi lives with her grandfather and she isn't out of the closet yet. Akutagawa turns because he can't breathe against the cushions. He can't remember why he borrowed Gin money, but her sister is too much of a good person to steal from him she can't be lying about the lending thing.

Back to this fiasco he calls life: his only 'hope' at this moment would be if Dazai got sick and he couldn't attend the day the projects had to be presented. But he has known him for three years and not once has he failed to come to class.

"Uhm, brother? What is this number?"

"Hmm?" Gin suspends the note over his head and Akutagawa stretches an arm to take it. Indeed, it is marked with a sequence of numbers, how rare. Why would Akutagawa do that? He has five different notebooks to avoid running out of space to take notes at class. Also, he hasn't seen a single number since he passed Literature History last year. Maybe it was its former user who… wait. The money from his purse is the one Nakajima gave him two days ago. He has been drinking coffee machine for some days now, so he didn't check the notes, having a good collection of coins available.

"It's a phone number." Akutagawa sits up, eyes wide open. "It's Nakajima's phone number."

"Oh." They stare at each other. "WAIT. HIS NUMBER?!"

"That fucking idiot write it on a note?! Who the hell does that?!"

"Oh my god, just message him. Now. I'm calling Ichiyou to cancel our date, we are having pancakes and gay drama at home."

Akutagawa doesn't even want to tell her sister to not do that, he doesn't want Higuchi knowing how much of a gay train wreck he is. But his sister-in-law is almost family at this point, and he is so happy and hopeful right now, he can't care.

AKUTAGAWA: hey

"Isn't 'hey' a little…? You know…?" Akutagawa gestures.

"I know this goes against whatever writer-aesthetic you got going on but believe me this is the best." Gin assures him, nodding with decision.

Akutagawa waits, staring at the screen. When his sister had mentioned a pancake date, he expected her to be the one making them. Instead, Higuchi just arrived with three different plates with four pancakes each from their kitchen. She goes to sit next to Gin, putting her legs over hers and asks, "Has he answered already?"

"No. It's been ten minutes."

"Give it time." Gin is already stuffing his mouth with food. "Maybe he is working."

Well, he did say he worked part-time. Never mentioned what half of the day though. Their date was on the morning, so maybe the noon is when Nakajima works. It should be fine. Yeah, totally fine.

"Have you finished your assignment, senpai?" Higuchi is studying literature too; she is one grade below him. For some reason, even though she said she despises Dazai, Higuchi is taking his class too. (It was Akutagawa the one who recommended her to take the class and Higuchi admires him a lot she just went and did it. Akutagawa doesn't remember this though.) "I have more urgent matters right now."

"Remember your scholarship," Gin reminds him, Akutagawa nods.

He takes his plate, placing the phone close while he eats. "What if it isn't his phone?"

"Then you block the contact and we cry watching Moulin Rouge. I still don't trust this Nakajima guy, senpai." Higuchi knits her eyebrows together, looking at the screen.

"Can we choose another movie?" Gin says.

Before Higuchi can start giving her speech on why Moulin Rouge is a masterpiece, the phone pings.

AKUTAGAWA: hey

NAKAJIMA?: who's this

"Just say your name, brother."

AKUTAGAWA: akutagawa

NAKAJIMA?: OH

NAKAJIMA?: HEY HOW YOU DOING

NAKAJIMA?: SORRY

NAKAJIMA?: caps locked

NAKAJIMA?: hehe

Akutagawa facepalms, while showing Higuchi and Gin the messages. "He is perfect for you, brother." Gin says, with a funny smile on her face. Higuchi still seems worried, but it's because Higuchi is really wary of Akutagawa's new acquaintances. Especially the ones who make his head have a lump for three days straight.

Her sister's girlfriend has him on a very high esteem, they've known each other for five or so years now. Higuchi said she decided to study literature because of Akutagawa, after all. Respect from a junior makes you feel like you're on a high position in school society. But his junior is, like, sleeping with her sister on a daily basis so in this case it's kind of weird.

"What do I say?"

"Apologize for not texting him before." Gin jumps in before Higuchi can suggest something.

"It was his fault. Who writes their number on a note?"

"A note?" Higuchi asks and Gin gestures not giving it the importance Akutagawa believes it has. She is giving him the look that only little sisters are able to give to their older siblings, Akutagawa gives up and apologizes.

"Okay, I'll do it."

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: hehe

AKUTAGAWA: Sorry I took so long to text you but I would have never guessed you'll write your number on the money

"Way too passive-aggressive, senpai."

"God."

AKUTAGAWA: Sorry I take so long to text you but I would have never guessed you'll write your number on the money

AKUTAGAWA: xd

"OH MY GOD. DON'T ADD XD AT THE END, IT'S WORSE!"

Gin is exasperated but laughing at the same time. Akutagawa doesn't understand what's wrong with adding 'xd'. Higuchi seems even more worried but now it's about Akutagawa and his null understanding of modern messaging. "It looks like a threat.", the blonde adds scrolling up and down.

"Nothing can satisfy you."

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: i figured as much

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: my mistake HAHAHA

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: i didnt want you to arrive late to class

Akutagawa arches an eyebrow. "Why does he do that?"

"Do what?" Higuchi asks, lost.

"Send three different messages instead of one."

Gin shrugs and agrees with him. Higuchi, as someone who also texts like that, even if she doesn't like this guy, she must defend him. "Don't you think is… cuter? Like he is nervous because he is talking with you."

"Why would he?"

"Not everyone can keep as cold as you when confronted with their crush, brother."

Before Akutagawa can ask what she means by that, a new message comes in and the three of them lean over the screen to see what has just been sent.

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: say

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: are you free rn?

"Am I?"

Gin and Higuchi look at him like he has three more heads growing from his neck. "Oh, right."

AKUTAGAWA: yeah, got any plan?

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: maybe

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: can you come to the store? ill be closing soon

AKUTAGAWA: sure

NAKAJIMA CONFIRMED: yay see you then

"His last messages are super smooth. That's suspicious." Higuchi says, frowning.

"Whatever. I'll go change," Akutagawa answers.

Gin and Higuchi are left alone.

Gin has devoured her pancakes already and is starting with his brother's. She is feeding Higuchi too because her girlfriend is too worried about her brother's personal and physical security to mind eating by herself, yapping about what if this guy is dangerous or other what ifs. Gin remains calm: she can trust a guy who sends his laughs in all caps.

Higuchi says that's a dumb reason to trust anyone, crossing her arms, and Gin says, 'yet you always send yours like that because of this reason'. Higuchi blushes, when Gin adds 'It's easy to remember your laugh like that'. It doesn't make sense, but Higuchi is hopelessly in love and takes the next fork with a flustered smile.

Akutagawa comes a minute later dressed in a simple white t-shirt and the same black jacket he wore on Monday. "Don't forget to take an umbrella. It'll probably rain at some point in the evening." Higuchi warns him.

"I'll be off now."

Akutagawa waves his hands, doesn't take the umbrella and leaves to meet Nakajima.

Thanks for reading, leave a review if you could! It makes my day! x bye ovo also you can find me on twt birbcake