Warning: Profanity, sexual content, and drug references.

Note: References the episodes "Clonesy," "The List," and "Unhappy Anniversary." Also briefly references my one-shot "Grins," but you don't need to read it in order to understand this.

A/N: For all those who keep up with my humble little story series, there are only six stories left in season one!

I'm so happy to share this story. I've been wanting to do something heavier regarding Jonesy and Nikki's relationship for a while now, so this is the product of that. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: Blown Away

Nikki walked hand-in-hand through the mall alongside Jonesy. Their friends walked with them, all seven of them coming back from having lunch as a group.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

From the corner of her eye, she saw a couple attractive girls headed in the opposite direction. Like clockwork, she slit her eyes at her boyfriend, watching him as he watched the girls. She saw his gaze migrate from face to waist to ass as they passed by.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

He turned his head slightly in Nikki's direction, making sure that he didn't get caught with a sheepish look. She met his dumbass expression with side-eye prepared.

"If you're gonna ogle other girls, at least have the decency to do it when I'm not around."

"Relax, babe. I was just looking. Don't be so insecure," he said, all nonchalant. It rolled off his tongue with ease, as if he'd been thinking it for a while now.

Her eyebrows shot up in fury, then lowered as her anger simmered.

"Oh, no," she heard Wyatt murmur as soon as Jonesy spoke from his ass.

"'Oh, no' is right," she said, snatching her hand from Jonesy's. She turned around to face him, halting him and their friends in their tracks. "I'm 'insecure' because I don't want you looking at other girls in front of me? Are you really that dense?" Before he could open his mouth to fight, she said, "Wait, don't answer that—I know you are."

His brow furrowed, hanging heavy. "Like I told you, I was just looking."

She scoffed. "You know what, Jonesy? It's always more than just looking with you. For years, I've watched you look at other girls and just plot on them,—and that was way before we were even a thing—so don't act like I can't be angry that you still do that while we're together."

"Okay, maybe before we were a thing, I looked at girls some kind of way, but that doesn't mean when I look at them now I want something with them. I only want you."

"Well, your actions speak louder than whatever bullshit you're feeding me now. You always makes me feel like you're trying to find some… some side piece to be with. I mean, how hard is it to cut it out? Are you gonna die if you don't grope a girl with your eyes once a day?"

"Oh, so I can't look at girls, but you can like guys and girls?!"

"You've been looking at girls since before I came out. Me being bi has nothing to do with your wandering eye!"

"Hey, that rhymed," Jude noted, hoping to diffuse the tension.

"Shut up, Jude," the couple chorused, making him flinch.

Jonesy continued, "Hey, if you're allowed to be paranoid about me cheating on you for looking at other chicks, then I'm allowed to be mad about you being able to cheat on me with anybody."

"You're still hung up on me leaving you for another girl, huh? After I promised you that I wouldn't? My word means that little to you?"

"If mine means jack shit to you, then I guess yours means jack shit to me. Besides, you've ditched me for two girls before, Nik." He held up two fingers and stuck them in her face. "Two."

She swatted at his hand. "And I told you it wouldn't happen again."

"Well, I don't believe that."

"So, what do you want me to do? Cut every girl out my life? Want me to just push Caitlin, Jen, and Sydni away? Or, better yet, push away the rest of the gang and make you the only fixture in my life? Is that gonna please you?"

"I never said I wanted you to cut off anyone!" With balled fists and eyes shut tightly, he exclaimed, "God, Nikki, why do you have to be such a bit—"

The word died in his throat before he could utter it. He gaped at her. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed the insult.

She crossed her arms, glaring at him through weary eyes. Sadness began to pool within her, but, with a shuddery breath, she kept it at bay.

"Go ahead, Jonesy. Call me a bitch," she dared, keeping her voice from wavering as tears pricked at her eyes like needles. She gulped, aware of how the group deadened around them, watching the two of them implode. "It's not like I haven't heard it before."

He opened his mouth, wanting to respond, but all that came out was silence. He closed it and opened it again, this time mumbling something along the lines of forget it as he turned his back and walked away from them.

She stood there and watched him leave. The moment stayed with her.

From her peripheral vision, she saw her friends swivel their heads and stare at each other in awe of what transpired. They all looked like a bomb had detonated.

They were right.

It amused Nikki that Jen approached her first, giving Jen's proximity to the victims of the blow.

"Nikki," she said, her borderline-violet eyes scanning Nikki's face with sympathy and caution. She hesitated before asking, "Are you okay?"

With a wry chuckle filled with everything but humor, she replied, "Never been better." Her lips quickly drooped and tears threatened to blur her vision. "I… I gotta go."

Before anyone could convince her to stay, she wandered away in search of the Khaki Barn. Despite it being her day off, she marched in and maintained composure while telling the Clones that she needed to be alone in the backroom. For almost an hour, she curled into a ball on the tattered couch and sobbed until her tear ducts ran dry.

Nikki remembered one of the reasons why she hated crying: it left her forehead throbbing, as if it was asking her, "Bitch, why are you like this?"

Couldn't her sadness manifest itself in a way that didn't make her angrier for being sad in the first place?

She gently patted her eyes, being careful not to smudge her makeup in the process. Perhaps she owed Caitlin for suggesting waterproof mascara in the event of unexpected crying (even if Caitlin wasn't adept at taking her own advice).

She sniffled and clutched her pounding head. Each pound served as a reminder for her to get her shit together—or, at the very least, take some ibuprofen.

Just when she thought her head couldn't feel worse, she heard a nasal voice drone, "Nikki, are you, like, still back here?"

She rolled her reddened eyes. "I dunno, Kristen. Did you, like, see me leave?"

"I was just asking a question. You don't have to get all snippy," she said as she and Kirsten made their way into the backroom.

As the two approached her, Nikki tried to rid herself of lingering upset.

Kirsten's eyes went wide and her mouth fell agape. After briefly covering her mouth, she asked, "OMG, were you crying?"

So much for trying.

"No." She huffed. "You know, you two really don't need to pretend like you care."

"Hmm…" Kristen put a hand on her chin and pursed her lips while scanning Nikki up and down. (Nikki wondered if being lost in thought like this would kill any of the girl's brain cells.) "You were totally crying about a boy."

(Nothing died at all, except for Nikki on the inside.)

"Ooh! Ooh!" Kirsten shouted as she had an epiphany. "You were crying about Jonesy, weren't you? You look like things were left completely in the air."

Nikki's jaw dropped in shock. What kind of ditzy-ass psychics?!

She didn't know they possessed the brain power to deduce that much. "How did you know? I could've been crying about anything."

"We know a broken heart when we see one," Kristen said as her best friend (and perhaps twin—Nikki remained unsure) nodded.

"Oh," she said, not knowing how to proceed. "Well, go ahead and laugh it up. I know that's what you're here for, anyways."

Kirsten toyed with her blonde ponytail. "Well, we were gonna try and catch you being all weird so we can put it on Twitter, but we don't wanna do it now that we know you're all emotional and stuff."

"We don't?" Kristen whispered to her maybe-twin.

"No," Kirsten mouthed to her, shaking her head. She turned her attention to Nikki and gave her a wide grin. "It's kinda funny: I actually like you more now that I know you have emotions!"

"Kirsten, that's so rude! She totally does have emotions: bitchy, angry, happy, and hungry. Duh," she said as she counted the feelings on her fingers.

"Ooh, don't forget hangry!"

"OMG, how'd I forget?"

Nikki snarled at them and their giddiness (while also remembering how Jonesy nearly called her a bitch, too). "Um, I'm right here."

Both of them winced and gave her sheepish smiles, appearing genuinely apologetic.

"Sorry, Nikki," Kristen said. "We've just never really been on good terms before."

"Yeah, we're not really used to being all friendly with you," Kirsten added.

"It's fine." Nikki's features softened. The tension she didn't even realize she carried in her shoulders went away. With a weak smile, she admitted, "Now that I think about it, I don't exactly give you two the easiest time either." She averted her eyes to the scuffed-up hardwood floor, becoming silent and pensive as she thought about Jonesy again. She gulped down another wave of melancholy. When she looked up, she met Kristen's concerned gaze.

"I hope things get better with you and your boyfriend, Nikki."

"Yeah, I hope you two are able to make up and stuff," Kirsten added.

Nikki smiled, feeling a small swell of warmth in her chest. The Clones may have lacked individualism, but they did share a heart. "Thanks. I hope so, too."

The gang, minus the couple of the hour, sat in silence at their food-court table. Tension saturated the air, making it thick and unbearable like the humidity of summer's worst days.

Jen facepalmed herself, unable to withstand the quiet any longer. "God, this is what I've always worried about if they got together. I knew their personalities would clash in this big, messy way and that we'd all get sucked into this. Now I feel like I have to help clean this mess up."

"Why though?" Jude asked.

She removed her hand from her face, instead throwing her arms out. "Because I have to live under the same roof as him, she's inevitably gonna be over the house to hang out with me, they're gonna run into each other, and things are going to get really awkward if they're not over this."

"Okay, no offense, but you've got to let them handle this themselves," Wyatt said. "I know things got really ugly, but I think they're capable of talking it out. But if things don't look like any better in a couple days, then maybe we should get involved."

She felt silly for not coming up with the better approach first. "Yeah, you're right."

"I hope they're able to straighten stuff out," Jude said.

Sydni frowned. "Sounds like they've got a lot of straightening to do. There was a lot that came out during that fight."

Caitlin sighed, taking on their heartbreak as if it were her own. Even though she and Jen convinced themselves almost a year ago that Jonesy and Nikki's relationship would ruin the gang, she grew to adore the sight of their friends in love. She didn't want to see what they had come to an end. "They've got to stay together, you guys. They've literally come so far. Nikki told me that their six-month anniversary is this weekend."

"Whoaaaa," Jude said with widened eyes, looking at his equally stunned friends. "It's really been that long?"

"I guess it has," Wyatt replied.

"Wow," Sydni said. "Now I definitely hope they work things out."

Jen frowned. "You and me both."

"I think I should go check up on Jonesy and see how he's holding up," Wyatt said, standing up from his seat.

Jude said, "I'll go with ya," and followed suit.

On that note, the boys vacated to find their friend at his job of the day. The girls remained seated, pondering their next move.

"So," Sydni said in a small voice, "should we go check on Nikki?"

"Definitely," Caitlin said.

"Actually," Jen interjected, "I think we should give her some space. She seemed like she wanted to be alone and, to be honest, I don't blame her."

"Okay," Sydni said. Given that Jen and Nikki had known each other since they were five, she trusted Jen's reasoning. She just hoped that, wherever Nikki was, she was alright.

Jonesy scowled while sorting through donations at his thrift-shop job. He worked with his body on autopilot and his mind in misery as he inspected the clothes for any wear and tear. He tossed all the good items into one pile and the bad ones into another, trying to toss away his feelings for Nikki (to no avail).

How could she not believe in his word? He tried and tried to convince her over and over again that, while he found other girls attractive, his heart was hers. He felt like a broken-ass record. Telling her time and time again that she was his girl. His only girl. He loved her (and still did). No other girl mattered like she did (and ever would). Yet those affirmations weren't good enough for her.

What more could he do? What more could he do?

He gripped the wrinkled and stained t-shirt in his hands until his knuckles turned white, then balled it up and threw it haphazardly into the pile of bad clothes.

He loved it when she drove him crazy, but hated it when she drove him insane.

It ignited him that she could be into whomever she wanted to be, but he couldn't look at whomever. He accepted that she was bisexual, but he wouldn't accept a blatant double standard, especially when she forgot about his existence when both Jean and Tristan came into the picture. If anything, he should have been concerned that she would be the one to cheat on him.

He groaned as he pulled a pair of acid-wash jeans from a bag of donations.

This is some bullshit.

"Dude, you okay?" he heard from behind him.

He turned around to find Jude and Wyatt standing there.

Jonesy furrowed his brow and tossed the jeans in his hand with the good clothes. "Fan-freaking-tastic. Never been better."

"Jonesy, be real," Wyatt said. "We know you've got to be upset about everything."

"You know what?" he asked, stumbling upon an epiphany. "It doesn't matter what I'm feeling now. I'm gonna be fine. I'm gonna let her take as long as she needs to get herself together, then I'll hear her out when she reaches out to me." He smirked. "Until then, I'm gonna be chillin' and chasin' cheddar."

"So, you aren't sad in the slightest about how things happened?"

"Nope," he said, popping the p and looking his friend dead in the eyes. "Listen, mi amigos: I said what had to be said. She's always nagging me and calling me out on some bullshit, so I think it's best if me and her keep our distance or whatever."

Wyatt knitted his brow. "You know, Nikki might be a little brash sometimes, but she has a point, Jonesy. You have a habit of looking at girls in a way that would make any girlfriend feel slighted. It's like you don't even want to let go of being a player."

Jonesy could have breathed fire. "Of course you'd take her side!"

"Well, he's kinda got a point."

Jonesy's anger crumbled; he looked at Jude with disappointment. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice less pointed.

Jude scratched the back of his neck, dodging eye contact and shifting his stance. "Well, you do look at other girls a lot, man. And Nikki's pretty good to ya, so I know it's gotta sting for her to see ya still do that." He gained the courage to meet Jonesy's stare. "And it's not like you have to completely give up on looking at girls, man. You just gotta watch the way ya do it. I might look at a chick every now and then 'cause girls are always gonna be smokin' hot, but I don't do it in front of Starr 'cause she's my special lil lady and I want her to feel special, y'know?"

Jonesy's shoulders slumped as he internalized his best friend's words. Nikki was special to him (and would remain that way). He never did it to hurt her.

"Yeah, I see what you mean… Shit, I'm sorry for snapping on you guys like that," he said, mainly looking at Wyatt with remorse.

"It's okay, dude," Jude said with a soft smile.

"I forgive you," Wyatt said, causing Jonesy to feel relief. "You tend to lash out whenever you're going through something."

Damn, now he felt targeted. He hated that Wyatt knew to look beyond the façade he hid behind. "You psychic or something, bro?"

Wyatt grinned. "Nope. I just know you."

"Well, stop knowing me so damn well. It's freaking me out."

"I'll try, Jonesy. I'll try."

Jonesy revelled in having Nikki in his lap; she fit within it so well. He'd oftentimes wonder if she was meant to be there all along. (His carnal side would reply, "Hell yeah—and I can think of some places I'd like to fit into." However, his romantic side would say, "No matter what position she's in, that's still my babe.")

As they made out in the beanbag in the corner of his room, Tame Impala's latest song mixed with the sounds of their mouths mingling. They were all lips and tongue, with the slightest hint of teeth—just how he loved it. The best makeout sessions featured kisses that went from languid and calm to frenetic and reckless, as well as bodies that went from neat and clothed to disheveled and topless. This combined the best of both. Her hand snaked through his hair while his own rubbed on her rear. He felt blood pool inside of him when she moaned into his mouth. (For someone afraid of seeing blood, he surely didn't mind feeling it rush.)

Alas, just as quickly as the vision hit him when he stepped into his bedroom, it disappeared. Jonesy looked at the empty bean bag in disappointment, realizing Nikki wasn't there. He wasn't sure if she would ever return. As he closed his bedroom door and went to sit on the edge of his bed, the thought of being without his babe made him sulk.

He grabbed the remote sitting on top of his tousled comforter and turned on the television. However, he soon zoned out.

"Alright, so how do I play this stupid game?" he could hear Nikki say in an apathetic tone as he pictured the two of them sitting on his carpet in front of the TV.

"It's not stupid. It's Fortwatch," he'd corrected.

She blinked once. "All I heard was the same word twice."

He rolled his eyes. He'd whined to her a week ago about wanting to teach her how to play his new copy of the game (making sure he hid it from his conniving-ass brothers this time around), so she gave in to make him hush.

"Anyways, how do I play this shit?" she asked, lifting the wireless game controller as she spoke.

He leaned into her space, pointing at each of the core buttons while explaining their functions. "Okay, this is for jumping, this is for switching weapons, you move the joystick to walk around, and then you hit these two at the same time to book it. Got it?"

She gave him a look of certainty. "Yep."

"Good," he said with a smirk.

In all honesty, even though he'd been begging her to play the game with him, he didn't expect her to get so into it. He anticipated snide comments and cold passiveness, but instead received competitive remarks and fiery enthusiasm.

"Oh, I'm so gonna kick your ass this round," she said, hoping she'd be the last player standing in their battle-mode round.

He glanced over at her, seeing a smirk engross her lips and a determination fill her eyes as she looked onward. It excited him whenever she unearthed her cocky side.

However, he loved to talk cocky shit right back to her. "Yeah right—there's a better chance of Jude giving up weed than you beating me."

"If you say so."

He threw their game on pause, drawing her undivided attention. "How about we put a price on this?" he asked, mischief pervading his tone.

"Go on."

"If I win, you're massaging my feet," he stated, crossing his arms and grinning with smugness.

She remained silent for a moment, pondering his bet. "So, since I definitely have to win to avoid doing that shit—if I win, we're watching a marathon of my fave travel shows tonight."

Looking at her through half-lidded eyes, he reluctantly said, "Deal."

(Though he didn't hate her shows, he liked the prospect of a massage way better.)

She smirked, turning her attention forward and unpausing the game.

Given her level of determination that rivaled Jen's whenever challenged, Nikki won. However, he didn't feel like a loser as he sat through her travel shows. He heard her commentary on why she wanted to visit certain countries so badly. He witnessed liveliness dance in her brown eyes as she spoke. He saw anticipation curl her lips because one day—one day—she would be where she envisioned herself.

Even now, he smiled with bittersweetness, knowing that—with or without him—she would arrive at her many destinations.

His head hung low. He didn't know whether he'd fit into the bigger picture she had for her life or not. Everything about them remained suspended in the air right now: their friendship, their relationship, their everything.

He sunk his palms into his bed, recalling it as the spot where they first confessed to loving each other. He hated getting sentimental like this, but his memory would forever burn with the moment. He recalled being filled with anxiety when thinking of how to tell her. Then he rode on nothing but pure adrenaline and giddiness when she said it first, overwhelmingly relieved to hear the three words fall from her lips instead.

Then, Wyatt and Jude's words came back to haunt him. He never intended to make Nikki feel insignificant by looking at other girls. He only wanted to be with her. All of their moments—from kissing in the dark to having late-night pillow fights to making each other's blood rush to play-wrestling around his room—meant too much for him to render her ordinary.

He'd known her through so many phases that he didn't know if he could stop loving her. She was a constant force in his life. He saw her damn near everyday, texting her and feeling her just as often. She was fiery, and so was this thing they had; thinking about either of those things running cold made his throat constrict.

He rose to his feet, strolling to his dresser. After opening the top drawer, he retrieved a dainty, black-velvet box. He pried it open, inspecting the ring it contained. It had a silver band that slithered into an infinity symbol. He saved a few paychecks for it.

Since he kept track of how long they'd been together (after Giving-Wyatt-the-List-gate), he wanted to give her the ring on their sixth-month anniversary. After a particular night in her room, wherein they chatted about him possibly "wifing her up," he wanted to get her an anniversary gift that both suited her style and reflected how much she meant to him.

The saleswoman had gushed about promise rings returning to the mainstream, but he insisted that it was not such a ring because he considered them to be "really cheesy." He couldn't stop blushing while saying it though, leaving both of them unconvinced.

For one night, he wanted to treat Nikki to dinner and look fly with her. He envisioned giving her the ring and pretending not to make a spectacle about it because he didn't want to feel lame. Making her feel like a big deal was his endgame.

Now, he remained unsure if those plans would ever come to fruition.