Written for MMF Bingo 2018

Square B4: Clint Barton/Hermione Granger

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Hermione was diligently working on the report due to the Wizengamot next week when she heard it.

Grunt. "Fucking Wizard. Where the hell am I?"

Her eyes strayed to the vent near the ceiling, eyebrows raising as more curse words echoed through the metal slats. Sighing in irritation, because one of the boys must have gotten annoyed with an Auror recruit and sent them to her so she could terrorize them, Hermione rose from her seat. Wand in hand, she used careful movements to pull the vent cover from the opening. "I have no time for this! You tell those two idiots-"

Hermione felt magic flare, sparkling light emerged from the vent, and then the cursing Auror was silenced. Frowning, she flicked another spell in his direction, taking a step back when nothing was revealed. She shook her head in annoyance, and then promptly forgot about him when the old fashioned alarm clock let her know she was running late for a meeting.

He appeared again the next day. The resounding slam startled Hermione from the same report she'd been trying to work on yesterday. The same voice groaned in pain. Huffing, she called out, "Again?"

There was a pause, the man cutting his noises off abruptly. Hermione heard him turn in the tiny space; the vent wasn't that spacious. "Who are you?" The voice was laced with suspicion.

She honestly had no time for this. Didn't they know her schedule was full until the next Wizengamot session? "You know precisely who I am. Tell your trainers I don't appreciate this. I'll go to George for revenge. They'll never see me coming."

"What are you-" The same thing as yesterday happened, and the man was gone before he could finish his question. Hermione resolved to send the boys a stern note when she had the chance. She was not the Auror Departments nursemaid.

Later that evening, she was seated at the small table in the kitchen of her best friend's flat. She stared at Ron and Harry incredulously. "What the bloody hell do you mean, you haven't sent anyone into the vents?"

Harry shrugged. "Just that, Mione. We know how much this bill means to you. We wouldn't interrupt like that. Why do you think we haven't invited you out to lunch?"

Her shoulders slumped, tea forgotten in her confusion. "Well, then who the hell is in my vents?"

Ron spoke with his mouth full of the sandwich he'd prepared. Hermione screwed her mouth up in disgust, Harry looking away at the display. He waited until his food was gone before repeating, "We can be there with you tomorrow if you want. Catch this guy before he gets away."

She sighed, "That's alright, Ron. Hopefully, he won't show up again."

That was not the case. To her dismay, the same slam and groan came while she was meeting with Kingsley and the current Chief Warlock. She quickly cast a silencing charm behind her back, fighting the red that was trying the creep over her face.

Both men cast a startled look towards the ceiling. "Is everything alright, Miss Granger?" Kingsley asked.

She nodded. "Yes, of course." She shifted their attention to the papers in their hands. "As I was saying…"

Once the men had left, she canceled the charm. Immediately, an off-tone voice filled her office with a vaguely familiar rock song. The singing came to a halt when he could hear himself again. "Finally."

She was fuming. "How dare you? " Hermione hissed out. "Do you know who was in this office? I don't know who you are, but you will cease appearing in my vent's this instant!"

"Look lady," the man started. "I'm not doing it on purpose."

"Of course not," she scoffed. "I'm sure you don't like hanging out in the ventilation during the workday."

"You'd be wrong there," he mused. "I feel more at home in these things, except they're usually bigger." He wiggled a bit, grunting and making the vent creak. "Is this place even up to code?"

She suddenly had a headache. She rubbed her temples with a sigh, closing her eyes as he continued to try and inch his way forward. "Look, I just-AHHH!" She screamed when she opened her eyes and saw the tip of an arrow pointing out of the vent.

"What?! What's wrong?"

"Why do you have that?" She brandished her wand, pointing it at the spiky brown hair that was starting to creep through. "Who. Are. You?"

"Clint Barton," he said easily. "And it's essential for my job. What's the matter?"

He wasn't an Auror. Merlin, what kind of wizard used muggle weapons? "Accio!"

"Bless y- HEY!" He protested loudly as his bow and arrows went sailing out of the vent and into her office. They landed on the floor at her feet. "Give them back!"

"Not until you tell me who you are, where you came from, and why you're here." Hermione said firmly.

Finally, Clint's head made it out of the opening enough for Hermione to see it. She had a passing thought that he was actually a cute intruder before forcing her attention to the issue at hand. "It's like I told you; My name is Clint Barton. I-"

Hermione's mouth dropped open when an orange magic circle appeared out of nowhere, and Clint fell through. The same magic circle appeared in front of her shocked form a few minutes later, the weapons disappearing as well. Her wand hand lowered uselessly as she tried to process what she'd just seen. What type of magic had that been? Was that how this Clint had been appearing in the Ministries ventilation this entire time? What was he?

Drumming her fingers against her thigh as she came up with a dozen possibilities in her mind, Hermione was determined he wouldn't get away again.

Only, he didn't come. For days, Hermione was distracted from her actual job waiting for him to show up. On the fourth day of Clint not appearing during her working hours, she finally admitted that he wasn't going to show up. A part of her was secretly disappointed. She'd had so many questions, all hinging on figuring out what type of magic he used. Maybe she'd spooked him by taking his muggle weapons. He had seemed a bit possessive of the items.

Deciding to put Clint out of her mind, Hermione focused entirely on her upcoming session with the Wizengamot. Merlin knew she'd wasted enough time she could have been preparing waiting on this mystery wizard.

Once the Wizengamot session ended, three days Morgana's sake, Hermione was ready to return home for some cuddles with Crookshanks. She was tired, only allowed to take short naps here and there in case she was called in; which she had been, multiple times. Her first order of business was food, then shower, and then finally bed. She was almost tired enough to ignore the rumble in her stomach, almost. She had already concluded she could just wake up extra early to take a long shower.

Detouring to her office for her briefcase, she opened the door, eyes snapping to the intruder who was silently climbing back through the vent. Her wand was out before she could register that she should probably call for Auror's. "Petrificus Totalus!"

The man froze where he was, his body bent somewhat as he'd been halfway out of her office when she'd come in. His arrow holder was strapped to his back, but the bow was nowhere in sight. With how big she remembered it being, she concluded it must be in front of him.

Food and bed seemed like a pipe dream now.

Slowly easing his body out and away from his chosen escape route, she lowered him to the floor. She sat in her chair, examining him curiously. He was dressed like an Auror, all in black and not your typical casual clothing. Only, his uniform was muggle in origin. The Auror's used dragonhide while Clint's was some type of breathable material that molded to his body. He was quite fit and when she looked into his eyes, she found annoyance and equal perusal. She'd expected fear, maybe even anger. She hadn't expected to be under his scrutiny. His eyes were as frozen as the rest of him, but they packed a punch, one that left Hermione feeling winded and glad she was sitting down.

She cleared her throat. "If I unfreeze you, will you run away?" She blushed a moment later. "Well, of course, you can't do anything to acknowledge my question. Just know, that if you try anything at all, I'll stop you." She tilted her head. "And I don't even need my wand to do it."

Releasing him once she was sure she'd let her words sink in, Hermione watched him as he jumped to his feet. She kept a wary eye on him as he pat his body down. Now that she was following the path his hands went, she noticed the blades that were previously hidden and the gun the blended into his pants.

He was no wizard.

She lifted her wand again, and while he didn't stop, Hermione noticed his body tensing in a way that signaled he was ready for whatever she did. So he was someone trained in combat. It made sense given what he was carrying and wearing. But who had sent him? Certainly not her own muggle government. Their Prime Minister had an agreement with the Ministry. Frankly, the man was too scared to ever try anything like this.

"Your list of crimes are great, Mr. Barton; breaking into a Ministry Official's office, bringing muggle weaponry inside the ministry without clearance…" She spied the almost imperceptible bulge in his jacket. "Stealing official documents, and lastly, entering the ministry without a visitor's badge. Tell me why I shouldn't call the Auror's."

The man gave her a smirk. "Entering without a visitor's badge is a crime here?"

She gave him a bright smile. "Especially when it's a muggle doing the entering. The crime results in Obliviation which in case you don't know is having your memory wiped." The grin fell off his face. "I thought that would capture your attention." The smile fell flat. "Now tell me who sent you, and what magic were you using before."

Clint ran a hand through his hair. "That's classified, and I'm surprised you don't already know." He rubbed his palm over his chin, looking at the wand in her hand. "Though your magic is different, so maybe that makes sense."

Hermione remembered his words from the first day he appeared; Fucking Wizard. "Are you telling me another wizard sent you here? How? I've never seen that type of magic before."

"I honestly don't know how his magic works," he admitted.

An unknown wizard that could manipulate magic in a way that was unknown by everyone else? Hermione couldn't let that go. She had to meet him. Really, it was a necessity. If she brought this to Kingsley's attention, he'd be sending someone to meet with the man anyway.

Decision made, she summoned her bag and closed the distance between Clint and herself. "Take me to him then."

"Whoa." Clint held up his hands. "I never said anything about taking a person back with me."

"Oh?" Hermione looked at him with questioning eyes. "And just what were you supposed to take back?" Her eyes drifted to the slight bulge in his jacket again. With another couple of flicks, the zipper was partially opened and the documents he'd tried to smuggle out were safely back on her desk. "Well nevermind that question. It wasn't going to happen."

Clint sighed, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "So close," he murmured.

"Well?" Hermione demanded.

Clint blew out a breath. "Strange?!" He pulled Hermione into his arms. "Hold tight."

Before Hermione could protest and ask what he was doing, a portal opened up underneath their feet and the two disappeared.