This fic has been ruining my life for about a year so hopefully it isn't complete garbage...

I accidentally fell back into Death Note about a year and a half ago, and after spending six months trying to ignore the idea that was nagging at the back of my head, I had to write it so it would leave me alone. Except that writing L and Light is a bit of out of my comfort zone, so I sometimes spent weeks unable to write more than one stupid sentence, and I hate them, and this fic. It was supposed to be like only 4-5 chapters when I first outlined it, why did it do this to me.

The good news, though: this fic is completed, and 8 chapters out of 12 are already beta-d. I plan on posting one chapter every Monday, so the remaining unbeta-d chapters should be done by the time we reach them.

Basically, this fic was born from my desire to have L not die and to give him a happy ending - and also because I kept wondering what happened to Yotsuba!Light after Kira came back and it kinda made me sad, and I don't like being sad. I know this Light isn't everyone's favorite, so you've been warned: he's going to be our main Light here.

In the end, all I tried to do is give those characters a happy ending and tie up loose ends in a way that allowed me to write lots of fluff but also didn't seem completely unrealistic and OOC. I hope that I succeeded at least a little :) and that this fic will give a few other people happy feels!

Huge thanks to everyone who's listened to me complain about this fic for the past year, and to those who've helped me get over those writer's block episodes :)
And the biggest thank you to my amazing beta voxiferous. You're the best!

Chapter 1: Stay and wait for tomorrow

L hadn't expected Light's voice to interrupt his quiet work. Sure, he had noticed that the younger man had stopped shifting in bed, but he had only assumed Light had moved on to a different sleep stage. They had been handcuffed to each other for two weeks now, and L had quickly learned to recognize Light's sleeping patterns - which had proven completely useless to his investigation, as Light seemed to be sleeping exactly as he had when he had been under surveillance. Maybe a little more restlessly, but that could very well be the result of the confinement and the fake execution, and not whatever change Light had very obviously gone through.

Now, if only Light could start talking in his sleep; maybe his subconscious knew something useful. Unfortunately, his voice had sounded way too clear when he had asked whether or not L was awake. L now suspected Light might have been feigning sleep for a while and frowned slightly. He should have noticed. Apparently, his lack of motivation was affecting him more than he thought.

"I am awake. Though I am not sure why you would also be at two thirty-six in the morning, Light-kun," L said, without bothering to turn away from his laptop.

"I was just thinking…" Light trailed off, and L heard him shift around in bed. When Light spoke again, his voice was quieter than usual. "That… theory of yours. That Kira's power can switch from person to person, and that, when it does, it also takes away the person's memories. What if… What if you're right? What if it happened to me? And you can prove it, but I still don't remember anything. What would happen to me?"

This actually grabbed L's attention. He turned around in his chair, his hands resting on his knees, and narrowed his eyes at Light. The other man was silently watching the ceiling, waiting for a reply.

"Are you confessing something?" L asked carefully.

Light's knee jerk reaction was not really unexpected. "God, no, Ryuzaki, I was just— How many times do I have to tell you I am not Kira?" he hissed angrily, rolling over to face away from L. "Not that I can remember," Light added in a whisper, but still loud enough for L to hear. "Forget it," he said eventually.

L started gnawing on his thumbnail, staring pensively at the back of Light's head. It was always interesting to see how this new Light could be so short-tempered sometimes. Granted, it only happened when L provoked him, but still. The Light he had known two months ago would never have let his emotions show so easily - or if he had, they would have been carefully manufactured. Did his suspect really believe L had bought his guilty act back when he had come to surrender himself?

Now, though… If L was correct - and he was 93.6% sure he was - and Light had somehow lost all memory of being Kira, then he would simply be your average 18 year old boy. Well, not average - not by far, he was too smart, too perfect to ever be considered average. And for someone as brilliant as Light, the idea that someone - or something - might have tampered with his brain must be rightly terrifying.

Not to mention the idea of maybe having murdered a lot of people.

L sighed deeply, and pulled his hand away from his mouth. "Light-kun," he said cautiously. Light didn't move, but a small change in his breathing let L know that he was still awake, and listening. "It's complicated. If I can prove that you had Kira's power, it would also have to be ascertained whether or not you accepted it willingly in the first place. There's also the issue of whether or not you could get the power back."

Light shifted in the bed. "I suppose you wouldn't believe me if I told you that I wouldn't want this power. That if someone gave it to me right now, I'd refuse it."

"If that is true, if you were being manipulated by someone or something… You might be yet another victim," L said quietly.

"But that isn't what you believe."

Yes and no, L thought. I believe that you planned all this when you were Kira. Making me believe in your innocence by using your innocent self. But I also believe that when you get your power back, you will accept it without a second thought.

He wasn't going to tell Light this. At least, not yet. He still wasn't entirely certain whether this was all a very elaborate act or not, after all.

"What I believe doesn't matter," L said instead. "We still don't know exactly what this power entails. Until we do, we can't really prove anything, so you shouldn't lose sleep over this right now."

"Easier said than done," Light sighed.

L pondered for a moment, then swiftly jumped off his chair and slid beneath the covers next to Light. The student immediately rolled over and stared at L with wide eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"It might come as a surprise, but I'm not too good with people," L sighed, ignoring the way Light snorted at this. "Anyway, I've heard that when one is distressed, another human presence can be comforting."

Light studied him for a moment, then huffed briefly and rolled away from L again. "Do whatever you want," he muttered. "At least if you're sleeping then you're not busy trying to prove I'm guilty. Just - close your laptop if you're really going to sleep, the light is annoying."

L was tempted to say that he was only staying until Light fell asleep - and that the light hadn't seemed to annoy him all the other nights - but he figured arguing would be counter-productive at this point. He got up briefly to lower the screen, rolling his eyes at the other man's not so silent mumbling about a "human presence" - did Light really think he was the first person to imply he wasn't human?

Slipping back into bed, L listened as Light's breathing slowly settled down, and eventually the detective was positive his suspect was now asleep. Well, he should probably get back to work now - he had never intended on using the bed to begin with; catching a few hours of sleep now and then on his chair had always been enough for him.

But the bed's warmth was inviting, and L found he didn't really want to move. He thought idly about the last time he had slept - it had been three days ago - and decided he could allow himself to nap here instead of getting up to essentially do the same thing in his chair. Rolling onto his side and curling up, L closed his eyes and was asleep in a matter of minutes.

It was only two days later when it happened again. L was still rather unmotivated, idly mulling over his various theories about his suspect's apparent memory loss. While he usually thought sleeping was a waste of time, L also wasn't feeling much like working right then, so… he figured he might as well be comfortable. After all, waking up in a warm bed last time had been quite nice - especially with the absence of the usual stiff neck he got whenever he napped in his chair.

Light appeared unmoved by the announcement that L would be sharing the bed with him from time to time. He simply rolled his eyes, told him once again to do whatever he wanted and muttered something about crazy insomniac detectives that L chose to ignore; just as he ignored how Light made it a point to lie as far from him as possible. He wasn't here to bond with his suspect anyway - it was only about sleep.

After that time, it became sort of a routine. Whenever L felt tired, he'd slip into bed, and Light would roll over to the far side. They never talked about it - and besides, what would they have had to talk about anyway?

Time passed by so slowly for the first two months that L could not pinpoint the exact moment when things had really started to change. Even his genius brain had never seen it coming - or, more probably, had refused to entertain the thought.

He was always the first one awake. Comfortable or not, sleep still didn't come easy to him, and he never slept for long stretches of time. The first few nights they shared the bed, L would wake up to Light's back facing him, the other man's body still as far away on his side of the bed as possible. Gradually, though, L noticed Light's body inching closer, until he sometimes woke up with their arms or shoulders touching.

The first time L woke up with his face pressed against Light's bicep and caught himself thinking it felt quite nice, he almost startled away in sudden panic. He managed to shift back quietly, without waking the other man, and took a deep breath to help him try and look at the situation rationally.

It was only natural, nothing to fret about. They had simply become used to sharing the bed, so they were also unconsciously more comfortable with each other's presence. That was all. Besides, during the day, their relationship had not changed one bit. They would still find new ways to aggravate each other; they would still occasionally fight.

Sure, maybe L kind of enjoyed seeing Light lose his perfect composure - that was when the "real" Light appeared, whom L found much more interesting than the fake facade he persisted in putting on. And, alright, maybe he sort of liked having someone to talk to who could be considered an equal for once. It was stimulating, and an unexpectedly nice change from his solitary life. But, first of all, he would never admit any of this, and secondly, this didn't mean anything. They had simply grown accustomed to being with each other all the time, which was a good thing considering their situation, but it didn't mean that they liked it. L certainly didn't.

He didn't.

L's stray thought regarding the pleasantness of the moment had most definitely been some nonsense brought on by the sleep fogging his brain. He quickly dismissed it and quietly slipped out of bed to reach his laptop - now that his motivation was back a little, better make the most of the few hours left before Light woke up and look into this Yotsuba lead.

"Light-kun, is something the matter?" L asked after failing to fall asleep for the fifth time because of Light's restless shifting. Not that he needed to sleep, but after the night they had had thanks to Matsuda's stunt, he really wanted to check out for a few hours. Besides, they knew who they were after now; they just had to wait for the surveillance to be installed. He could allow himself this.

"I'm fine," Light muttered quietly, immediately freezing up.

L sighed and reached out to turn on the bedside lamp before sitting up. He brought his knees to his chest and looked sideways at Light, who was facing away once more. "You obviously cannot sleep. I would have thought you'd be tired after today. And probably happy to have narrowed down who the new Kira might be."

Light remained silent for a while, then breathed out softly and rolled over. He looked briefly up at L from behind his bangs, but then closed his eyes. "It's just… I didn't want to tell you because I thought it would just make things more complicated. But I can't stop thinking about it and it's scaring me a little." He opened his eyes again, but didn't look up. "I have… weird memories."

"Care to define weird?" L asked, biting slightly on his thumbnail.

"Well…" Light trailed off, then sighed softly. "Memories that might feed that theory of yours."

Now, that was unexpected. L narrowed his eyes just a little, knowing that he'd have to play this out carefully if he wanted Light to open up. He decided to just gently push his suspect to talk. "How so?"

Light sat up in bed, hugging his knees in what looked like an oddly similar position to L's signature crouch. "I'll tell you, but… Please, can you at least pretend to believe that I really don't recall being Kira? As far as I know, I never was."

"I believe that," L replied quietly. And he did. After two months, L was about 99% sure that this couldn't be an elaborate act, and that the Light Yagami in front of him genuinely believed he wasn't Kira. The thought kind of made Kira seem even more evil to him. He kept wondering what would happen to this Light if - when - Kira came back.

Light breathed in deeply. "Alright. So, now that we know there's a possibility that Kira can kill people in ways other than a heart attack, I… Well, last December, there was this busjacking…"

L stared silently as Light told his story.

He should have felt triumphant.

Light meeting Raye Penber and learning his name in that setting, while a criminal happened to die right in front of their eyes - it was such a huge piece of information. Why hadn't Penber reported the busjacking back then? Even back when they still believed Kira only killed with heart attacks, knowing that he had given Light his name, L would never have let this go.

L didn't believe in coincidences. He could perfectly imagine Light coming up with such a plan. This probably wouldn't be enough to convince the task force, but L was now 100% certain he had been right all along.

So, why? Why was his stomach dropping as he watched Light falter as he spoke? He was winning, right? So, why didn't it feel like his usual wins?

"You must realize how this sounds to me, right?" L asked cautiously.

"I do. And like I said I didn't want to tell you, but… I'm not an idiot, and if I look at this objectively it's either a very unfortunate coincidence or it's more. But how can I be Kira without remembering it?"

"You are definitely not an idiot," L said, noncommittally. "Do you recall meeting Raye Penber again? At Shinjuku station, maybe?"

"I don't think so… Right now at least, I don't remember seeing him ever again." Light paused, and shifted uncomfortably. "I, um. I did meet his fiancee though," he breathed out.

L froze. "Did she tell you her name?"

"Yes. Misora Naomi. And actually… she was the first person to hint at the possibility that Kira could control the cause of death. I don't know why I blocked this out until now, I swear I only remembered it earlier today…" Light actually seemed smaller, more vulnerable, and that might have been intriguing given his personality… except that what he had just said had been deeply incriminating.

L took a deep breath. This was too much. He should do something. It had been a while but maybe there was still security footage from the police headquarters that could place Light with Naomi; perhaps that would be enough to arrest him, or at least confine him again while they figured out how these powers worked.

Why didn't he want to do it, though?

L exhaled briefly, his shoulders dropping slightly. "What do you want from me, Light-kun?"

"Aren't you gonna turn me in?" Light asked, finally looking L in the eyes.

"No. Even if it meant you killed them acting as Kira, we can't say for sure that you weren't manipulated. I've put you through a lot already, the task force wouldn't go for it without proof that you did this willingly," L said quickly, trying to convince himself that this was the real reason. He was just being rational. This had nothing to do with the vulnerability in Light's eyes, or the barely audible waver in his voice.

Or the realization that he might not really like the idea of Light being Kira after all.

Who the hell am I trying to fool here?

"Sounds compelling enough," Light sighed, looking away again.

"Circumstantial," L said dismissively. "Again. What do you want from me?"

"Do you think I could maybe have been framed? That the real Kira arranged for me to meet with them to throw more suspicion on me?"

L pondered for a second. "Possible, but I'd say it's unlikely."

"But then how? I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes… I know I'm not Kira, but somehow it feels like I can't be sure of anything anymore. I need to understand."

"There are a few drugs that could affect your memory, but they wouldn't act in such a selective way… I'm afraid we're still missing something. I really don't want to go there, but there's also what the second Kira was talking about in the videos."

"What, the Shinigami thing again?" Light huffed.

"Nothing else makes sense so far," L admitted. "There's still so much about Kira we can't explain. I think… If we can arrest the one in Yotsuba, maybe we can finally learn more and find out what happened to you."

"Unless the power jumps to someone else again…"

"Then we'll catch the next one."

Light looked back at L with surprise. "At least your motivation is back."

"So it would seem," L said dismissively.

Light's face fell again. "I'm just scared… that you might be right after all. I really, really don't want to be Kira," he said, staring L in the eyes - and L could see he meant it.

"I know," L replied, mustering up a small smile that he hoped was encouraging. Neither do I. I'm not sure I want to be right anymore if it costs you your life - or your mind.

Light sighed deeply, looking partly relieved. "Anyway, I should try to sleep… I'll try not to move so much," he said quickly, moving to lie down on his back.

L blinked a few times. Wait— What? Aren't we going to talk about this more? But Light's eyes were closed and he didn't look like he was about to say anything more about all this. What did he think… That he could get this huge thing off his chest and that nothing would happen? Then again, as L considered the other man's unmoving form, he realized he wasn't really sure what to say or do at this point - so maybe he could use the silence to organize his thoughts. With a small sigh, he turned off the light and lay down next to Light.

"Hey, Ryuzaki," Light said quietly after a while.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

"Thanks. For listening. And for not making it all about how I certainly am Kira and all."

L swallowed and rolled over, facing away from Light. "You should sleep."

Light made a noncommittal sound and silence fell over the room again. It still took him some time, but the younger man eventually fell asleep. As he noticed this, L exhaled shakily and felt himself relax slightly - if only because knowing that he was as alone as he could be made it easier for him to think. He shifted once again to stare up at the ceiling in the darkness, desperately trying to figure out what to do with all this new information.

Thanks for reading! Don't hesitate to let me know what you think :)
You can also come talk to me on Tumblr: yuneyn and Twitter: Yuneyn_. I'd be happy to chat about these two! (My tweets are protected but if I recognize you I'll accept you. Otherwise Tumblr's fine!)