Author Note : "I'm an otter" : Speak
'I'm an otter' : Think
"I'm an otter ": Angel langage.

This is my first fanfiction, except a small short on Harry Potter.
English is not my primary langage, so do not hesitate to point my faulty grammar.
I took the idea of ghost, and what happened in the end from "Little Angel". All credits to him and his hilarious fan fic.
I also do not own Evangelion, and its rightful owner are Anno and Gainax.

About the story : The story will be mainly about humour, though I am not saying there will not be occasional piece of drama.
Gendo, here, is... More like an herisson. He thought he couldn't make Shinji happy and have a good childhood. That is why he did not take him with him. So yeah, basically, Gendo is still an manipulative bastard, but who doesn't hate his son.

"I am not sure, big bro. Are you sure it is a good idea? " It was a young boy asking. He was known in the town as a quiet weirdo. Why? Because he was always speaking loudly with his imaginary friend… His uncle, who was tasked to raise the young boy, sighed once again. Seriously, it was only because his father asked him to do this that he was putting with this crap. Especially with the consigns. Make sure Shinji has never a friend? Easy. The kid was so strange that nobody would talk with him, seriously. However, he had more and more an issue with the second mission : make sure the boy was malleable. His imaginary friend was always making him sure to make him stand up in the worst possible ways. All while Shinji was emotional as a robot.

The kid was silent, estranged from the others, but he definitely had a spirit inside of him. Lately, he was actually trying to learn how to ride a bike, to the great dismay of his uncle. Uncle who would be probably even more disappointed if he knew that Shinji actually learned how to steal one. However, he didn't ever bother to ask why. He knew the answer "Big Bro Kamina told me it was going to be fun". It was always the answer…

Thanks the gods that his father compensated him with a lot of money and he actually got a pension from the King of Bastard, Gendo. Taking the money of his brother-in-law was always a bonus, but god, it felt so much better.

"Listen, Shinji. You are now at an age where I was riding a boar and fighting every day of my live with my little bro. God, I don't know why they are trying to make you a wimp but…"

"… Big bro, if you begin to sing "Make a man out of you"… I swear I'm going to punch you."

The little threat from the young boy actually make laugh the ghost. It was not planned at all. He remembered dying, very clearly. Kamina also remembered how he actually resurrected himself for a few second, because fuck you, he is that manly. However, he didn't see coming the fact he appeared in a new world, as a freaking ghost. He would have gone mad if he didn't find the young Shinji. Kamina liked the boy. He had… Potential. Like Simon. Both were wimps, but inside of them was a flame. And Kamina knew, as with Simon, that with the proper stimuli, Shinji could be a great man. Maybe a man as great as he! The Great Kamina! However, he really hoped that Shinji would one day quit this poker face of doom. Maybe it was because nobody ever talked to him ? Probably even. It is not like the influence of one ghost would be enough to completely heal the numerous trauma of one boy… Even if it is him, the great Kamina.

Shinji was… he didn't have the word to express of he felt. Would he be French, he would say most of it life were burdened by the heaviest "spleen" since Beaudelaire. However, unlike Beaudelaire, it was more because he suffered from heavy mood changes. Right now? He was suffering the fact that Kamina, his big bro, was annoying him to learn a bike. As if it would be essential for him later. Kamina kept saying it was to make Shinji a man, and that… "Chicks dig man with the biggest ride"? Whatever it means? Honestly, Shinji liked his ghost big brother. He did teach him a lot of things, such as how to throw a very good punch, how to assert himself in front of bullies… But in the same time, the teachings of his uncle were to be as shy and quiet as possible, to not be a burden on anyone. So he settled for not showing any emotion. That way, he was quiet but strange enough so nobody would ever bother him. Except Big Bro.

As a result, most of the time, Shinji did not really care for the world. The others did not understand the greatness of his "aniki" and everyone thought he was not real. Shinji knew that Kamina was a real ghost, and that they could go to hell. Also, since everyone knew he spoke to him already, Shinji didn't even bothered trying to hide the fact he was talking with a ghost. That way people avoided him and he was fine with that. Almost happy.

But right now? If he did not want to have Kamina trying to make a remake of every single Disney song, he had a thing to do: "Learn how to ride a bike like a boss".

**A few years later.**

"… Are you sure you are not late?" Kamina asked, seeing there was no one in the city around them. He was hovering above Shinji, like a sentinel, though he did not see anyone.

"We were even early! I'm not you, sleeping overtime! Why the fuck do you even need to sleep?! You are a ghost!"

Shinji was **not** Happy. His bastard of a father dared to call him, all of sudden. The young boy was now not so young, closer to the age of Kamina. He was also a bit more… unhinged. Oh, he was still a "good boy" according to the old ladies, thought still weird with the "talking with a ghost" thingy. And the poker face. However, should one listen to his TAD, he would be surprised with some Power Metal, mixed with the great classic like Beethoven. Also, Shinji was talking back to his big bro, more and more often. Kamina was proud of him.

"Okay, listen. By my experience, it is the sign something weird and big is going on."

"No really?" Deadpanned Shinji, as he looked to Miss Katsuragi's picture. Hmm there was another possibility. If a woman would forget that Shinji was an healthy young boy and sent such a picture, she could also forget the time of the meeting. "What make you think that? The fact we are alone, the fact the military is here and ready to fight or the fact my father called for me when the last time I saw him, he did not even bothered to talk with me?"

"A bit of all of that. However my guts are telling me that a fight is coming. Like as big as me."

Shinji looked at Kamina. His big bro was aloof, funny and even often badass. However, Kamina also had a great instinct, especially when it comes to those things.

"Well, s***"

Suddenly, a car almost crashed next to him and the door opened.

"Shinji Ikari ?"

"Yes Miss Katsuragi…"

"First, call me Misato. Second, get in the car." She said. Shinji complied quietly while Kamina got in the backseat. He could hardly shotgun in his ghost form.

"She is a fine lady, look at her ! Damn, would I have been alive, I would have loved to go out with her."

"My big bro ghost says you are sexy, Misato."

This nearly caused her to crash, while laughing. Seriously? The quiet boy just said that to her? It was gonna be fun explaining him everything…

"Well, thanks for the compliment, mister ghost. Shinji, do you know why you are here ?"

"Well, if I have to take an educated guess… " Began Shinji, before Kamina squealed. No, really, his big brother squealed like a little children on Christmas, prompting Shinji to try to look at what caused his big brother to do that sound. Shinji was not pleased.

"… Let me guess. Father called me because for some reasons, he thinks I will be able to defeat that giant white thing ?"

"… Correct. It is an Angel and we, at the NERV, are the only hope of mankind against it."

Shinji didn't even answer to that. It was… Quite a pain actually. Well, he preferred to be alive, but on another hand, he also knew that death was not the end, if Kamina was any indication. However, Kamina…

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ASKHERIFWEWILLPILOTGIANTROBOTSASKHERASKHER…"

"Misato ? … Will I pilot a giant robot ? Big Bro ? Do you even know how to pilot a giant robot ?" Asked Shinji, as Kamina, in fact, was… Not really inclined to explain how he died. It was not fun and actually quite traumatic. Even for him. However, in this situation… The answer was the same from the two "grown-up", grin included.

"Yes." Piloting the meca with Simon was some of his best memories.

"Well, at least, it is not like I will be going naked against this. Also, is it not strange that all the VTOL are pulling back ?"

"Wait what ?"

Too absorbed by the discussion, Misato noticed only a second too late what it meant. She had two choices : shielding Shinji, or protecting the car. Instinctively, she chose the first option. The N2 mine was dropped.

Boom. Shinji looked at Misato, being protected in a place where many men dreamt, but was still unfazed. Not even close to one of his mad journey with Kamina. Though, it was quite nice. Kamina however liked the bomb. This was the kind of explosive he approved.

When they emerged from the dead car, Misato was lamenting herself. However, Shinji was more… Matter of fact. The giant thing was bad. His father needed him to pilot a giant robot to battle the giant monster. He needed to get there quick.

Luckily, there was a bike close enough and Misato was quite surprised when she saw a Shinji who managed to do a small drift to come closer to her. She knew from the report that Shinji may have had some problems with stealing bike. However, he seemed a bit too skilled at that.

"Well, get on, Misato. I have a giant robot to pilot." Said emotionlessly the future Pilot. Misato made a strange face but did as asked. Honestly, what was wrong with the kid? Sure, he sounded kind of badass, but it was like talking to a feminine Rei.

"How the hell do you know how to ride a bike?! You are too young for this! And how do you know how to steal one?"

"Short answer: Ghost big bro".

Said Shinji, as he was riding the bike, as Kamina taught him. The ghost was laughing next to him, and Shinji was… Still quiet. Honestly, even the massive N2 mine didn't manage to crack his face. Misato began to wonder if the reports stating that Shinji was in fact schizophrenic were true. All his "true" emotion were from his ghost big brother, while himself, he was calm and reserved. Also, it would explain why he did not tense when she hugged him from behind and pressed her chest against his back.

She also had to accept the fact that Shinji was actually an excellent rider. He was all in precision, taking sharp turn when she asked for it. She would looooove to race against him later.

Then they arrived to the Geofront. There, Misato had the confirmation that Shinji could actually feel something by himself, and not only the other voice in his head. Because, even the stoic kid was impressed by it. And honestly everybody would be. In fact, even Kamina was in awe, as it was probably one of the greatest spectacle he ever saw… Next to Kyoko and seeing the world for the first time.

Shinji also took the time to take a map, so they would avoid a moment of solitude, as he had seen Misato and her terrible orientation.

So when they arrived in front of the Evas, Kamina squealed, once again.

"GIMMEGIMMEGIMME"

While Shinji, look up to an elevator, where his father stood up, dramatically.

"Shinji."

"Father."

"Get in the Eva." Said the king of all bastards around the multiverse.

Shinji looked at his father.

"Not much a choice. I guess we will die if I don't stop the Angel ?" Deadpanned the young boy.

"So, this is your bastard father ? Well, he has good look, if anything. You will be quite the ladykiller in a few years."

"Shut up Kamina, I'm talking with my father."

Gendo arked an eyebrow.

"… You are seriously talking to yourself ? May be I shall ask the other pilot…"

Said the old dad, as he was actually fearful of the mental state of his son.

See, Gendo was many things. An asshole, a manipulative bastard, a closet otter fan, the worldchampion of poker… But he actually cared for his son. However, he was totally awkward as a parent and also knew he was quite fucked up. Therefore why he sent Shinji far from him, and also why he never talked to him. Gendo was too shy to explain to his son everything. However, he did care about Shinji and his mental balance. The tempering of his father-in-law, a triple damned member of the SEELE, with his son, was… Infuriating for him, to say the least. However, the report said that Shinji was indeed his son. Stoic, smart and could ride a bike like a boss. Maybe he was also good in a barfight ? Gendo wondered if it was a good way to socialize with his estranged son. Note to himself, ask Fuyutsuki this.

"What other pilot ? Why is he not already piloting…"

"Well first, it is a she, and second, it is the heavily injured blunette behind you."

Shinji looked and saw… Rei. Kamina too. Kamina who looked at Shinji and said…

"Welp. You know what you have to do. Save the world and get the cutie"

"Father… I will pilot." Say plainly Shinji.

Gendo also shuddered and wondered if the fact that his son is as emotionless as Rei stems from Yui? Quite possible. Or maybe he was a bad parent? More likely. However he was not pleased that his son had to pilot. There was a reason as for why he did not call before. He would have to adjust his scenario.

"Well, son… Get in the plug."

"So, Misato ? How do I use this… thing ?"

Kamina was kinda silent as Shinji was immerged in the LCL… Who tasted like blood. Kamina was silent as Shinji was getting the explanation about how the big meca was moving, mainly because he sensed something strange.

There was something with them. In the robot. Actually, it was logical once he thought about it : the Eva, as they called it, was way too organic. He would not be surprised if it was actually a living being. However, he was now trying to speak with… It.

"Your current sync ratio is at … 35%. That is quite good for a first time." Say Misato. She was not pleased at all. It was certainly enough to move the Eva, however, to fight an Angel? She seriously hoped they would not die because Shinji was not moving fast enough. However, she was also disturbed by the fact that the ratio was low because… Something was tampering with it? She though a single instant about the ghost. Then shrugged. Naaaaah.

"So then. Slowly. Step by step…"

Shinji was breathing slowly, as he walked outside. Honestly, more than using a bike, he would have preferred that Kamina taught him how to use the Eva. After all, he was the former badass pilot there. Even better, he would have loved if Kamina could possess him and kick the Angel beyond the horizon.

" I AM. SACHIEL. WHERE DID YOU PUT MY FATHER, YOU FILTHY MONKEYS ?"

The sound Sachiel emitted actually surprised Shinji, who tripped on the umbilical cord. Seriously, why did someone called the alimentation cord like that? It was like someone wanted to pass an hidden message.

Gendo sneezed.

The Angel clearly noticed the Eva tripping and… Came at him. Slowly, the Angel, took Unit-01 by its head, and looked actually… More sorrowful than angry, if Shinji was in the clear mind to think about it. Because he was.

'Damn you, humans. You are sending children, in our mother's flesh.'

While he was angry at them, Sachiel was sad for them. Humanity was… Equal to them. That they had to die was something he didn't like. He would have loved to grow along humanity, with their father their brothers and sisters. He truly would have wanted that. However, he also knew that their father was weakened… Almost mortally. If the death of their younger kin was the price to pay to save ADAM… He will shoulder it. Even thought his kin would shun him. At least, he would try to make it painless for this scared child.

And then, the sad Angel began the pummeling.

…

"SHINJI ! MOVE !" Kamina was shouting, as much as he could. His attempt to speak with the unit clearly did not work… And Shinji was taking the beating of his life. The older pilot was actually remembering his own death, after a bloody fight… He saw Shinji, hurt, crying as the pain broke his mask. Completely.

Shinji was after, all but one boy. A boy who called for help, to anything that could hear him

"DAMN IT ! DAMN IT DAMN IT ! I SHOULD BE THE ONE FIGHTING !"

'Pro… Shin…'

'Protect… Shinji…'

Kamina raised his head, when he heard the voice. Then everything turned to the black.

"… Sir ?"

In the Geofront, the bridge was stunned. As their last hope was being trash by the Third Angel… The Eva roared so strongly that the sky seemed to be pierced. Gendo smiled... Or grinned.

"Berserker. We won."

'And now… I also know that you are still there, somewhere, Yui… I hope that you are not too mad at me for what I have done.'

"IF I CATCH MY STUPID HUSBAND I WILL BEAT HIM AS HARD AS THIS ANGEL !"

Was screaming Yui, as in her mindscape, she was pummeling the poor Sachiel. FASTER. HARDER… The Angel dared to hurt her little boy ? HE WOULD SUFFER. Yes, she had issues. But honestly, who does not ?

"If I was you, I would reap his arm to beat him with it."

Yui turned her head toward the source of sound in her so-lonely mindscape. It was a young boy, a bit older than her son… With the best pair of glasses she ever saw. Also, he was with cloths, unlike her. Explaining why she blushed a bit before a dress appeared on her.

"… Who the fuck are you ?"

"Kamina, Shinji's Big bro. Need help to beat the…"

"It would be my pleasure." Said the older woman.

The two ghosts grinned at each others, before the poor Sachiel began to weep for his life… though he did feel, somewhere deep inside of him, a bit of pride that the child and Lilim would beat him. The first. However, he also feared the reaction of his family. That thought made him weep stronger, before the silence… And the dark.

Then came the light.

"… What the…"