Blink away the tears -Hasret

He blinks away the tears.

Sometimes when he is walking across bridges in the rain, he imagines a shadow running after him, whispering 'Don't go .. Please'.

Yet, he avoids every single occasion where he might actually see the person who owns the shadow.

Because, when Bruce sees Betty, when Hulk sees her ... Every oath vowed in the lonely nights, every wall he built around his heart, all the time that slipped through his fingers when he thought he could stay away, he could live without her is gone .. Everything simply shatters and disintegrates and the only ever thing that stays is her, her eyes as they look so fondly at him and he can't back away from that. After all, It is how he has fallen in love for the first time in his life ... gentle blue eyes and a warm smile to go with.

'I will love you forever' that was a promise he kept

'I will stay by your side no matter what' that one he couldn't keep.

Now, Bruce is half a man who owns nothing but shadows and almost broken promises.

Last time, it took him too much to recover.

Last time, he never planned to see her in the first place, yet once there he couldn't but seek her out. He couldn't but see her for the life of him even if he risked getting caught .

And while he thought he didn't care , or maybe lied to himself through his teeth, every truth fell in place when he saw her.

That day, she wasn't entirely alone though. He saw her with a new man from behind the tree, she was smiling, ironically not at him though and for an elapsing second when his mask of preservation fell, he felt cold , so cold and lonely when she walked away with the stranger hand in hand ...

But then it hit him, he was gone too long, it was him who was the stranger now, not the other around.

He felt like a motherless boy again, abandoned and lost as she walked away from him.

What pained him most at the end of the ordeal was when he realised: He loves her still and worse she still loves him as well and whilst she isn't entirely alone, she is lonely .. More lonely than ever and maybe even in the pit of her soul sadder than ever.

They werenot over each other

And worst: they will never be.

And getting close is throwing her life in disarray, dragging her round with him, gambling away her life every single second

So ... It is distance between them.

It has to be that much so neither will get hurt.

But on days when the earth is shaking and the nights are too dark and the lies he cocooned around himself are falling apart, his heart finds the distance harsher than he imagined .. And he quietly weeps in the rain.

She used to cry a lot those days, sudden bursts, unwanted ... unbidden.

'I will fight for you, I will fight even you if that is what I have to in order reach you' but she has long given up on her words.

She never seeks him out , even when she sees him in New York or when Tony Stark sends an 'offer for work' to her via the general ... It is a mutual pact between them.

Betty knows Bruce needs not another burden, another dilemma and another problem to worry about.

Bruce needs to leave the past behind.

It is an unspoken promise they made in Harlem upon everything they both hold dear that they will no longer look for one other , even when the departure is too much to handle and the yearning is gnawing viciously at their hearts.

So, she will stay strong and carry the weight of him alone without faltering as they both settle into lives they never wanted nor even imagined when they were once together.

'I will always carry your weight' she smiled long ago.

Betty doesn't cry anymore for her first love.

She merely blinks away the tears.