Notes: Ohmytheon: So for my 300th fic on ao3 (yes, I know how ridiculous that is), I wanted to do something special - and honestly what better fic for it to be than this one since I'm basically obsessed with the "Dabi is a Todoroki" theory. Like many fics I've been involved in, this started out as a joke. It's originally the brainchild of theonlymoosewhoeatssalad, who messaged me with the concept of "Teacher Touya AU where he works with students with dangerous quirks and is constantly stunned by their stupidity and self-sacrificing behavior". I absolutely ran with it. I even had to create an info dump doc because I had too many ideas. It's grown into something special: this fic, along with "Reconfigure", is what I write when I'm sad and down because it's filled with such dark, delicious humor and terrible puns about memes that I can't help but smile when I do. I'm stoked she wants to write this with me and I can't wait to see how it progresses past our screaming at each other and creating like 100 memes.

I asked theonlymoosewhoeatssalad what note she'd like for this fic and she said, "Just say hi and that I got to work with my favorite author so I'm dead" lmao girl ily this fic is so damn hilarious but also filled with lots of feels so thanks for sending me the idea and letting me write this with you.

Touya had barely stepped foot in the meeting room when Kayama swooped in on him like Batman on a bad guy. He was equally terrible at fending her off, throwing his hands up in an attempt to defend himself. However, she smacked them away with no hesitation, completely undeterred, and grabbed him by the collar of his button-up shirt.

"I know you're not used to wearing nice clothes, Touya, but could you at least pretend to know how to look presentable?" Kayama smoothed down his collar like a mother would a son. Most young men would've sputtered and felt overwhelmingly flustered with the X-Rated Hero Midnight so close to them. Touya only stood in the doorway with his arms hanging limply at his sides, rolling his eyes as Kayama fussed over him. He was grown ass man and should've been embarrassed about being treated this way, but he remained unaffected, strong like a hero on steroids.

When Kayama stepped back to assess her work, Touya asked, "Satisfied?"

Kayama rubbed her chin thoughtfully and eyed him with a sharp gaze that would've melted weaker men on the spot. In her inhumanely tight hero costume, she looked like the type of woman that could eat him alive and he'd thank her. "You know, when you actually dress the part, you don't look half bad." One of her trademark sultry smiles slipped onto her face. "You could even be considered handsome." He snorted derisively. She dropped her hand and smiled. "If only you hadn't taken on Aizawa's habit of dressing like a hobo. I should've stepped in earlier while you were still impressionable."

"Comfort and function over style," Touya pointed out.

"You're young," Kayama insisted. "There's still hope for you."

"Don't say such awful things," Touya said, giving her a little smirk. She sighed dramatically as he brushed past her to drop into a seat at the long table near the end.

He'd thought he was running late to the surprise meeting, but then some of the teachers worked side-gigs. After all, besides him and a few other staff members, the rest of the teachers still spent half their lives as active pro-heroes. He knew for a fact that Aizawa pulled shifts even on some school nights, which surely attributed to his constant exhaustion. And he said Touya was bad, the hypocrite.

Touya typically didn't wear a nice shirt and slacks to work (which, in retrospect, considering his position, he probably should), but meetings like this were usually serious matters that not even he could ignore. It wasn't often everyone got called in to discuss things. It was especially suspicious since the hero entrance exam was upon them and Nezu had been particularly vague about his reasons. Touya didn't like it when people were vaguer than him, but Nezu wasn't exactly human, had hired him despite his sketchy history, and let him (mostly) do what he wanted, so he let it fly without complaint.

But what the hell was going on?

Despite his suspicions, Touya lounged back in his chair, arms dangling over the sides, and used the tip of his sneakers to twist side-to-side. "As much as I love seeing all of your faces, this was one of my last few days off."

"Oh, hush," Kayama quipped as she sat down next to him. "You barely have to do anything here in between the entrance exam and Sports Festival." She threw one of her legs over the other and brushed her foot against his calf. "Besides, we all know by now you only pretend to be lazy."

"You take that back. I have a reputation to uphold."

As usual, Principal Nezu sat at the head of the table. "I apologize for calling you all in on such short notice." Touya thought it kind of funny that the smartest person in the room wasn't even human. That was admittedly half the reason he'd applied here. There was nothing quite like the knowledge that his boss was a rat/bear/dog creature with an intelligence quirk. The corners of the principal's mouth twitched upward into a sneaky smile. "I know you keep your caseload busy during breaks, Touya."

"Why must you all hurt me this way?" Touya complained.

"Because we care about you," Yamada answered as he and Aizawa strode into the room.

Touya stopped twisting the chair and narrowed his eyes. "Lies." When he noticed Aizawa wearing what looked like a bloodstained version of his hero costume, he popped upright and pointed an accusing finger at him. "Why doesn't he have to dress up?"

"I just got off patrol."

"You've got blood on you!"

"It's not mine," Aizawa stated, as if that made it somehow better.

Touya scoffed and folded his arms before flopping back in his chair. Pro heroes. Couldn't live with them because they were annoying and self-righteous as fuck; couldn't live without them because idiots got it in their heads that they could be villains and wreak havoc.

"Ah, that's everyone then," Nezu said. "Well, almost everyone."

"Have you finally found a replacement?" Snipe asked. Straight and to the point, just like his quirk. It did make sense to call a meeting if that was the case, but Touya didn't know why he had to be here too. Technically speaking, he taught a class, but it wasn't exactly a class either when there was no grade. A student either passed or failed when it came to him and the grey area in between was difficult for anyone outside of him to navigate. Still, a new teacher only meant Touya would have to deal with them once school got into the swing of things.

Nezu clasped his paws together on top of the table. "I have. I actually approached him a while ago, but we weren't able to finalize the details until recently."

On his left, Yamada punched Touya in the arm. "Aw, you won't be the new kid anymore."

"This is my third year," Touya deadpanned. "I'm hardly new."

"Still," Kayama cooed, "fresh meat is always exciting. You're old news now."

"Tragic," Touya said dryly. He turned his attention to Nezu. "You had to find someone to help with the Heroics Course, didn't you? That's why I'm here, right?"

Patient as ever while Touya liked to bulldoze through everything, Nezu nodded. "Yes, among other reasons. This is a...very special case and delicate matter."

Touya tapped his fingers along his bicep. What did that mean? Whatever it was, he didn't like the sound of it. His job already entailed lots of special cases and delicate matters. Adding more to his plate did not sound like a fun time. Who had Nezu hired for the job? Was it a well-known hero? Could it be someone in the top twenty? Top ten? That direction of thinking only led to sour thoughts, so he shoved it aside. Maybe he had chosen a known but unpopular hero. Maybe he'd picked an almost entirely unknown hero. Someone retired from the hero business altogether?

"His hiring will be officially announced soon, but everything we discuss in here today is strictly confidential," Nezu declared. "Understood?"

The principal looked at every one of them seriously, his eyes not leaving them until they nodded. Touya eyed him for a moment before nodding as well. The matter was serious enough to warrant a secret meeting with the entire UA staff, so he wasn't about to argue. Besides, if anyone here knew how to keep a secret, it was him. If he had been able to become a pro hero, no one would've even known his identity. Hell, most people didn't know now and he was a civilian. Burying things was his specialty, which was ironic considering that digging things up was also one of his many skills.

Nezu cleared his throat and proclaimed, "You can come in now." The door behind them swung open. Touya kicked off the floor with his foot to spin around in his chair. "I'd like to welcome Toshinori Yagi to the UA staff as the new Heroics teacher."

Touya pitched forward in his chair as if he was punched in the gut. "All Might?"

The fucking Number One Hero strolled into the room in all his bright ass yellow suit glory, like some beefed up bumblebee, and greeted in a loud boom, "Hello!"

He practically blinded people with that cheesy ass smile on his face. Aizawa might have even winced. Everyone was shocked into silence at the revelation. The Symbol of Peace was teaching at UA? Then who the fuck was going to stand up to the dark shadows of evil while he was doing a lesson or grading homework? What was he doing here? Why had Nezu agreed to this? Why had All Might agreed to this?

Even though he knew there was no way in hell that All Might would be able to recognize him, Touya sank in his chair to hide behind Kayama and put a hand over his forehead to shield his eyes. He'd gone to great lengths to ensure no one outside of a few chosen people knew who he was exactly. The last person he wanted to know was goddamn All Might, who had been the indirect source of his misery for years. Of course, All Might didn't know that. Years of therapy had drilled it into his head that it wasn't All Might's fault that his dad was a jealous egomaniac hellbent on making it to the top by any means.

Touya still didn't like him. He had his reasons. He just didn't feel like making them clearer.

"You hired All Might," Yamada said, his eyes wide with shock behind his glasses.

"I'm excited to work with you all in the coming year," All Might proclaimed as he sat down in the empty seat across the table. Maybe Touya could slink under the table. Would anyone even notice if he hid?

"An excellent hero," Nezu piped up, sounding somewhat amused with himself.

Excellent? Touya mouthed to himself. He was El Numero Uno. What the fuck was going on? This could not be happening. He would have to eventually work closely with anyone teaching the Heroics Course to ensure maximum student safety and that they were doing their jobs right. He did not want to work with All Might. It was too close to a cosmic slap to the face. What was the universe trying to say to him right now? Probably nothing because it was too busy cackling.

All Might's blinding smile turned somewhat shy, which made things even weirder. "I admit that I'm new to the teaching aspect of heroics, but I'm confident in my abilities to guide the next generation of heroes."

Touya took a deep breath as he tried to comprehend the mindfuck that had just happened and muttered, "Oh my fucking god," under his breath. It wasn't loud enough for the new teacher to hear, but Kayama kicked him under the table hard enough to make him grunt.

"I can see why you kept this a secret for so long," Kayama stated, as if she hadn't just physically assaulted him. "This is big news. The media will be all over it once it breaks."

"That's not...entirely my reasoning for keeping you all in the dark until now," Nezu admitted. Clever, little bastard. What was he up to now? This entire setup had been designed specifically to stress Touya out. He knew it. Nezu turned to All Might. "Do you want to take the lead?"

All Might rubbed the back of his neck like an embarrassed teenager. "Ah, yes, that would make more sense…"

Touya squinted his eyes. Whatever was going on, he didn't like it. In fact, if he could perhaps make his escape while everyone was busy paying attention to All Might… Yamada slapped a hand on his shoulder, as if sensing Touya's urge to bolt. He tried to pass it off as reassuring, but Touya saw it for what it was. He was making sure he stayed put. Huffing, Touya shrugged off Yamada's hand and slipped down in his chair again to appear uninterested. There. He wasn't going anywhere. The hero could be happy.

"The truth is…" All Might squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. He was comically too large for the piece of furniture, but no one was going to tell him that when he could knock any one of them clean out of the building with a single punch and not even blink. He wouldn't do something like that (after all, he wasn't Endeavor), but power radiated from him like light from a sign at a strip club. It was impossible to ignore. "Ah, I was involved in a massive fight a few years ago. It wasn't in the media, but I was severely injured and…"

Impatience bubbled inside of Touya. He'd learned to deal with it over the years. Working with students, especially ones with powerful and dangerous quirks, meant he couldn't fly off the handle every time they did something that made him want to pull out his hair. Dealing with kids was completely different from dealing with adults, especially oh-so-important ones. He just wanted All Might to get on with his explanation so he could run to the nearest bar, slam back a shot or two, and then drag himself back to prepping for the entrance exams.

"Well, it's easier to show you, I suppose," All Might finished lamely.

Before anyone could question what he meant, smoke exploded around All Might, reminding Touya of a popped balloon. When it faded away, instead of the ridiculously tall and muscled hero that everyone knew, a sickly skinny skeleton of a person sat in his place. His eye sockets were sunken in and his golden hair flatter, but all Touya could focus on was the sharpness of his bones that his skin stretched over and the way his shoulders acted like a hanger for his entirely too large suit.

"What the fuck?" Touya blurted, his brain and mouth currently disconnected.

"This is my true form." The skeleton - no, it was All Might, that was fucking All Might - bowed his head in shame. "I'm only able to hold onto my hero form for a little over three hours a day. Even then, operating at a hundred percent is-"

"Dangerous as fuck," Touya cut in. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice was screaming at him to shut the hell up, but he was still experiencing that disconnect. Drawing attention to himself was a terrible idea, especially when that attention came from All Might, but it was like the professional side of himself had taken over and wouldn't stop analyzing the situation. "It must take some part of your quirk to even stay in that form."

"I…" All Might blinked in surprise and focused his hollowed-eyed gaze on him in a way that made Touya immediately regret his decision to speak. "It does."

"Obviously, the public can't be made aware of this," Nezu stated.

No shit, Sherlock. It would throw them into a panic if anyone knew the Number One Hero was actually an emaciated human stick. If villains were to find this information out, there would be chaos in the streets. So many people, other heroes included, relied on him to keep the peace. Society rallied around him to keep them safe. All Might struck fear in the hearts of villains everywhere, making them too afraid to commit crimes in case he popped out of thin air and beat the shit out of him with his insanely powerful quirk. As the Symbol of Peace, he had inspired so many other heroes to rise out of the woodwork and protect people all around the world, not just in Japan.

He had also inspired a lot of bitterness and hatred in people that convinced them it was necessary to go to extreme lengths to beat him. It wasn't his fault, but Touya honestly wasn't sure if he was aware of that opposite effect of his or not.

"How did this happen?" Aizawa all but demanded.

"The injury I was dealt was too grievous to be healed by any quirk," All Might explained.

Recovery Girl sighed. "Even mine. We tried since my healing quirk is on the stronger end." She shook her head in disappointment. "I was one of the first to find out about this, but it was not easy to accept."

"I had multiple surgeries throughout the years in an attempt to fix it more permanently, but…" All Might coughed into a napkin he hastily pulled from his pocket. When he pulled the napkin away, Touya's eyes zeroed in on the familiar red color of blood now staining it. "My time in my hero form started to dwindle throughout the years. Nezu approached me last year about taking a position here so I can have an opportunity to figure out what to do next. I don't want to quit hero work." He gazed down at one of his still massive hands and clenched it into a fist. "I can't ."

Touya brought a hand to his mouth to stop himself from barking out into laughter. It wasn't funny, but it certainly was fucking ridiculous. He didn't know the specifics of All Might's quirk - no one truly did, other than it was some sort of super strength - but there was no way pumping himself up into that muscled form while fighting was healthy for him. If he had to use his quirk at full capacity, it would no doubt take away from the effort it took to stay in that form, which would probably lessen his time limit. Self-righteous determination could only get him so far. Touya's hand itched to snag a pen and take down notes, but he stayed very still and quiet so he didn't draw any more attention to himself.

Analyzing the situation in a critical manner was part of his job description, but it was currently acting as more of a coping mechanism. If he allowed himself to think about this too much (which he undoubtedly would as soon as he left this room), he'd promptly lose his shit.

The Number One Hero was the new heroics teacher at UA. The Symbol of Peace was actually a deflated version of himself that could only operate as a hero for up to three hours a day and only a handful of people knew about it. All Might was here, in the flesh, working with him, the very man his father had beaten it into him to hate simply because he was the best and Touya would never be able to reach that high with his powerful but dangerous dual quirk.

What the fuck was going on? What were they thinking? A spotlight constantly followed All Might wherever he went. Eyes would be on them the second the media found out about him being a teacher here. Everyone would scramble trying to find out why the Number One Hero would take so much time out of his super busy hero schedule to teach. Villains might even feel more comfortable committing crimes during the day. The school could become a target for an attack, something that had never happened in the history of UA.

Nope, he couldn't think about this too deeply. He was already this close to flipping the table and storming out of here. He had enough on his plate to consider this year as it was, what with Shouto taking the recommendation exam tomorrow. His father's attention would be on this school more than ever with Shouto a student here, but adding his most loathed rival into the equation would only make things worse.

Touya tried to subtly take a deep breath to cool his shit. He wouldn't freak out. The last thing he needed was any of the other teachers looking at him funny or, even worse, worrying about him. Luckily most of them were absorbed in their own shock and the discussion that had continued around him while he was locked in a mental war with himself. All he had to do was empty his mind until he felt absolutely nothing. He could let it all back in later when he was alone in his apartment and think about it until he spiraled then.

Kayama nudging him snapped Touya out of his reverie. He looked at her questioningly until he realized that all eyes were on him. Had he been thinking out loud? He didn't do that. He turned back to her for an answer.

"We're introducing ourselves to our new colleague," Kayama told him.

Oh, it was his turn. Touya's skin crawled when he caught eyes with All Might again. It suddenly didn't matter if he was in this weird, pathetic-looking form. That look in his eyes was the same from every interview and instantly transported him back ten-fifteen years ago when he was forced to listen to his father rail him about how someone as weak as him could never stack up against the top dog.

Touya didn't even bother to sit up in his seat or attempt to look more professional when he muttered, "Korihada Touya."

Using his mother's maiden name had been weird in the beginning when he first legally changed it - how many times had he accidentally ignored someone? - but years later, he was used to it. Getting referred to as Todoroki had always made him wince internally. When he decided to completely distance himself from Endeavor, his second step outside of running away and cutting off contact had been to change his looks and, when he had the financial means, his name. Lucky for him, fire quirks were common and it was easy to hide his ice resistance.

"You look quite young to be a teacher," All Might noted. Touya tried not to squirm. He didn't care about the light scars that covered parts of his skin. He was more concerned about All Might picking out details of his appearance that might remind him of a certain Number Two Hero. At least his red roots weren't showing. He always dyed his hair right before entrance exams. "I could have mistaken you for a Third Year if I wasn't paying attention."

Kayama fondly pat his cheek. "He's got such a baby face."

"Thanks, mom," Touya retorted.

Kayama narrowed her eyes, that soft look disappearing from her face. She didn't like her age being brought up. He thought it was kind of stupid. She was only thirty-one and that was hardly old - and he would be a lying dumbass if he didn't say she was very attractive - but she was finicky about it. If he ever wanted her to stop babying him, he usually said something about it and apologized vaguely later.

"What do you teach?" All Might asked curiously.

"I'm, ah, not exactly a teacher…" Touya cleared his throat. "It's difficult to explain, but essentially I work with students that have dangerous quirks and a proclivity to hurt themselves with them. We don't want our students, especially future heroes, to get into the habit of hurting themselves for the sake of being the best."

All Might blinked and smiled slowly. It looked weird on his thin, sharp face. "That's a very interesting take. I'd love to talk about it with you over tea some time."

Touya snorted. "No thanks. I'm not into debates."

The surprised look on All Might's face was worth getting elbowed in the side by Yamada. "What he means is 'thank you for your interest'. He's a good one and his input has helped UA greatly, but he's a bit rough around the edges. We're still house-training him."

"Hey, I don't bite anymore at least," Touya said. "Just bark." He glanced at Hound Dog. "No offense, my man."

Hound Dog just shook his head. Luckily the entire UA staff had thick skin. If they hadn't, Touya probably would've been tossed on his ass or out a window multiple times since being hired.

With his introduction finished, Touya turned his head away, signaling he was done with the whole ordeal. He was over the conversation. He wanted to go back to being ignored. He'd planned not to speak with him at all upon seeing him and he messed that up right away. Idiot. Opening his mouth was a mistake. He did not want to draw attention to himself and he had. What a dumbass. He was better than that.

All Might eyed him for an extra beat before turning his attention to Yamada, who very enthusiastically introduced himself and stole the show as usual. Aizawa looked about as thrilled to go next as Touya had felt. At least he wasn't alone in this. It was hard to gauge Aizawa's opinions about anything, considering he always looked torn between exhaustion and suspicion. Sometimes, he even looked disgruntled. Every once in a while, he actually smiled, but it was somewhat terrifying when he did. The few times Touya had witnessed it happen left him feeling concerned about what was going to happen next.

"As I said, you are not permitted to speak with anyone about what we discussed here today," Nezu reiterated. He wasn't that scary, considering he was a giant rodent, but there was a threatening gleam in his unnaturally intelligent eyes that made everyone think twice. "There will be immediate consequences in case of a leak. Toshinori has trusted us with this secret and we shall do everything we can to keep it."

Touya mimed zipping his mouth shut while everyone else nodded. No one kept a secret better than him. Nezu (and All Might) could count on him.

After the introductions concluded, they continued to talk more logistics and such, but Touya tuned them out. He wasn't much in the mood to listen to specifics. He'd get them from Aizawa later if they were important. As for now, he knew everything that he needed to know: All Might was the new heroics teacher and he wouldn't be the Number One Hero for much longer with an injury like that. In short, they were utterly fucked.

This was going to be a fun year.

"I need a fucking drink," Touya muttered as he stomped out of the room.

"It's eleven in the morning," Yamada pointed out.

"That's what the bottomless mimosas brunch special is for."

Aizawa merely shrugged his shoulders, hands stuffed into his baggy pants pockets. He looked like he could go for a drink too, even with the blood on his costume. The graveyard shift patrol for a hero could either be really boring or wild as hell. For an underground hero like Eraserhead, he tended to get into seedier shit than heroes in the spotlight. Over the years, Touya had managed to pry stories out of him after a beer or three; all of them left his stomach twisting.

"I'll drive," Kayama declared, twirling her keys around her pointer finger.

Without stopping, Touya pressed his palms together like he was praying and bowed slightly to her. "You are a gift, a blessing, a goddess in human form."

Kayama rolled her eyes, but smirked too. "Keep up the compliments and I might buy you your first drink."

"The most beautiful woman I have ever had the fortune of laying my eyes upon-"

Yamada sighed. "You're absolutely shameless, Touya."

"I'm broke," Touya corrected. "There's a difference."

A few UA staff members stayed behind to converse with All Might and Nezu longer, but the moment they were dismissed, Touya had all but scrambled out of the room. He didn't want to come off as desperate to escape, but he had been pretty damn desperate to get out of there. Maybe he was being paranoid, but he kept feeling eyes on him. There was no reason for All Might to glance at him repeatedly throughout the meeting, but Touya sank under the imaginary looks regardless. By the time the meeting was over, he felt like the deflated balloon instead of the Number One Hero.

Luckily, the other three teachers were too distracted by their own concerns to notice his tense silence. They were used to him falling into moody fits by now, but he did have a habit of talking a lot of shit. The fact that he wasn't right now stood out even to him, but there was nothing he could do to fix it. He was lost in his own head, memories of his father bitterly complaining about All Might while forcing him to use his quirk until he passed out mixing with blankly watching specials on TV about the hero with his siblings.

Touya had barely said a word by the time they reached their usual haunt. Aizawa was still in his blood-stained uniform, but didn't seem to care. No one batted an eye when they walked inside. It wasn't the brightest or cleanest of places, but it was a spot where they could go and no one would bother them. It wasn't filled to the brim with annoying heroes or hero fans. It was a good compromise between them and him. Nothing killed his mood like overhearing people talk about Endeavor and how cool he was.

True to her word, Kayama bought him his first drink, only to bring back some fruity concoction. Well, he had brought up mimosas. When Yamada waved a hand at the empty spaces in front of him and Aizawa, she only smiled and delicately sipped her drink, slipping into her seat with an unnatural grace. By the time Yamada returned with drinks, Touya had nearly finished his first. He just barely stopped himself from downing the rest and leaned back in his seat.

"Does anyone think this is going to be a shit show or is it just me?" Touya asked, staring up at the ceiling. Normally, the tv played a sports game, which he didn't give a shit about either, but the morning bartender had it on the news, which would inevitably turn to heroes at some point. "I can't be the only sane one here."

Yamada frowned. "I don't know if we should be talking about this in public."

"The place is damn near empty save for morning alcoholics and people sneaking drinks on their lunch break." Touya waved a hand around the room. "No one's paying attention to us."

"He has a point," Kayama murmured. "Plus, this is...an interesting step."

Touya considered his drink for a moment before finishing it and setting the glass down. "I don't like it. I don't think it's a good idea."

"What's your issue with All- Toshinori anyway?" Yamada asked curiously.

"I don't have an issue with him," Touya muttered, folding his arms across his chest like a moody child. All three pro heroes gave him matching looks of disbelief. Honestly, he was a better liar than that. He shouldn't have this much difficulty convincing them, but it was like he couldn't even try, not even during the meeting.

"Yeah, right," Yamada scoffed. "You just scowled and glowered at him like he ran over your cat during the entire meeting for no reason."

"I didn't do that!"

Kayama pat him on the shoulder. "You kind of did."

"Not to mention you kept drifting off," Aizawa added carefully. "You usually only do that when you're stressed out."

Touya stared at Aizawa incredulously. Betrayed by the one man he thought might agree with him. Aizawa didn't have his back all the time - they disagreed about a lot of things and Touya picked petty arguments like it was his job - but he had at least thought the underground hero would be with him when it came to working with the Number One. The two of them were like his fire and ice quirk. They were both strong in their own ways but did not mesh together very well. It would definitely be entertaining to watch those two work out their differences. Then again, Yamada and Kayama had probably thought the same when Touya was a student teacher under Aizawa.

"I don't have an issue with him," Touya insisted in a calmer tone. "I have an issue with the idea of him - the example, I guess." He grabbed his glass and swirled the bottom of it on the table in a circle. "He gives a lot of people the wrong idea about what it means to be a hero. Yeah, he inspires people, but not always for the right reasons - or with the right outcomes."

"What do you mean?" Yamada asked. "Everyone loves him! Well, not the villains, but even they know better than to act up when he's around."

Touya snorted. "Everyone does not love him. With that cheesy ass personality? A lot of people hate him and not just villains. I can't see him being totally loved by the hero community. There's been no competition for the top spot in years. The gap is too big."

Kayama swirled the straw around her drink, the ice clinking against the glass. "He's not wrong about that. I'm sure Endeavor hasn't enjoyed sitting stagnant at second. He's not known for his pleasant, positive attitude."

Her casual mention of Endeavor made Touya wince. She flashed him an apologetic look, but he waved her concern away. Shit, he must really be out of it if a single mention of his old man was enough to garner that much of a reaction. It was bound to happen sooner or later. As soon as Shouto showed up for the recommendation exam, they would know why he'd been distracted more than normal recently and Endeavor would get brought up anyway.

"No, he isn't," Touya agreed vaguely.

He was distracted, but he wasn't so distracted that he missed the glance between Kayama and Aizawa. Nope, he didn't like that look one bit. Kayama murmured, "Touya…" and laid a gentle hand on his arm, one that made him distinctly tense up. She reached out to comfort him first because she had been deemed the softer one that he responded to when he was upset. He hated that they knew him like that.

"I'm getting another drink." Touya stood and walked to the bartop before anyone could say anything. By the time he came back with a refresher, they would either be on a new conversation or past the bump in the road that was Endeavor. A bump that Touya could run over, then reverse, then run over again.

C'mon, you stupid dumbass, he thought viciously. You don't really want to kill him anymore, so stop acting like it.

On the other hand, the dark daydreams were a nice coping mechanism and they didn't actually harm anyone. It wasn't like he was going to run off to become a villain so he could act on the intrusive thoughts or anything. After years of therapy and school, he had at least moved past that impulse.

The three pro heroes stopped talking when he sat back down, but he ignored them. If they were talking about him, fine. There was no sense in getting worked up about it when he was the one to leap out of the conversation like someone had lit a fire under his chair.

However, he had barely settled down in his chair when Aizawa declared, "You're right."

"About what?" Touya asked carefully.

Aizawa took a gulp of his beer. "I think this a bad idea. Someone this popular and polarizing will draw the attention of everyone - the media, public, and villains. All eyes will be on us. That many eyes usually means a target as well."

"No one has attacked UA since its conception," Yamada said. "Do you really think villains would now with him here? His mere existence is a natural deterrent for crime. So shouldn't they stay away from UA even more?"

Aizawa shrugged. "Perhaps."

"I'm just glad Nezu is waiting to announce his hiring until after entrance exams," Touya sighed as he leaned back in his chair again, "or we would've had a flurry of applications from kids who have no business becoming heroes."

"We already had too many as it was." Aizawa groaned. "The number of applicants grows every year and they're all already so..."

"Delusional?" Touya offered, a sharp, not-so-pleasant grin on his face. Aizawa sighed, but nodded his head. Kayama shot Touya a disapproving look white Yamada punched Aizawa in the arm. From the very beginning, they'd been more hopeful while he and Aizawa were more realistic.

The truth was not everyone could become a hero. A kid could dream about becoming one their entire lives because they idolized the pros on television, but in the end, it all depended on a person's quirk. It didn't always have to be flashy, like in Aizawa's or Kayama's cases, but it had to be versatile, strong, and compatible with both hero work and the person. It was cruel to let a kid keep dreaming about something that would never, ever happen in a million years.

How long had it taken Touya to realize he would never be a hero? How long had it taken him to accept that realization? And how long had it taken him to not let that realization eat away at his very being?

The three pro heroes with him might have known that he was actually Todoroki Touya and they might also know that his childhood with Endeavor hadn't been fun, but they didn't know the half of it. If he was fortunate, they never would. Aizawa knew more than the others, but that was only because he had a loose tongue when he was drunk and had gone on a rant about heroes encouraging dangerous behavior.

"He encourages an idealistic view of hero work," Aizawa said, shaking his head. "It's not good. I don't want to deal with bright-eyed children who think they have what it takes to be a hero when they don't. The image he projects isn't realistic."

Considering Aizawa had expelled his entire class the year before, he wasn't joking around. Touya had expressed some reservations about half of them during the entrance exam and then more serious observations after, but even he hadn't expected the class expulsion. One thing was for sure: Touya wouldn't have lasted a heartbeat had he tried to be a hero with Aizawa as his teacher - and it would've been for the best too. A lot of those kids moved on to better things they were more suited for. Maybe they were sour about it for a while, but it was a good thing.

Not everyone could be All Might.

"We're going to be under a lot of scrutiny and I, for one, am not looking forward to it," Touya said decisively. "Ugh, think of all the reporters sticking their noses in our business."

Aizawa grunted irritably while Yamada and Kayama made faces at each other. No one hated the media quite like Aizawa. In his opinion, the media interfered with hero work and turned a very dangerous job into a farce. Yamada did deal with the media a lot for his radio talk show, but he didn't enjoy it when they got in his face. Kayama shined the most in it out of all of them, but she had the misfortune of being a woman in her thirties, which the media loved to devour.

For the most part, heroes lived for the spotlight and craved media attention. They thrived on it. They lived for it. All they wanted was for their faces to be on television. They ate it up. Even All Might spent a lot of time in it, although, objectively speaking, Touya knew he was also an incredible hero, much more so than the many pros that clammered for a bit of limelight and money. That was all it was to them. Not everyone was in this business for altruistic reasons. In his experience, humans were invariably selfish by nature. Luckily, there were a few good ones, but there were rotten apples even amongst the supposed best of the best.

"Look on the bright side," Yamada said. "It's certainly going to be an interesting year!"

"I don't want 'interesting'," Aizawa grumbled. "I want consistent."

"I'm with Batman," Touya said, pointing at him with his drink. "A nice, quiet, easy year filled with students that don't abuse their work and go to ridiculous, wild lengths to become superheroes at sixteen and no one nearly kills themselves once or twice a month."

Yamada choked on his drink and sputtered out, "That's funny ."

Touya narrowed his eyes. "I'm not being funny. All you heroes and wannabes with your so-called honorable self-sacrificing bullshit are gonna be the death of me. I'm stuck with these kids who think they have to break themselves repeatedly in order to make it to the top when some won't even break out of the sidekick rank. It sucks being so cold to these hopeful, little kids with all their big dreams."

"Please," Kayama scoffed. "You love being the asshole."

"Eh, you got me there," Touya admitted, "but I know what it's like. To want something so much and be right there and you just-" He tightened his free hand into a fist. "You just can't grab it." He relaxed his hand and looked down into his drink. "Toshinori has been around for a while. He was popular when I was a dumb, impressionable kid too, you know."

Yamada tilted his head. "I didn't peg you for a fan of his in your youth."

"I thought you didn't like pro heroes," Aizawa added dryly.

Touya smirked. "I don't. I just tolerate you three."

"Mmhm, you're lucky we tolerate you in return, little brother," Yamada teased, reaching over to ruffle Touya's already messy hair.

It took all his strength not to let his smirk falter, but thankfully he didn't break this time and the other three moved on to question Aizawa about his night patrol. Meanwhile, Touya slipped back into silence. He couldn't gulp his drink down like Aizawa, not when he'd asked the bartender to make it a double. Since Kayama offered to drive, he was going to take full advantage of it. Besides, he wanted to dull his nerves for the inevitable freak out over the situation he'd have once he was alone.

All Might, Shouto, and most likely his father in one year? Fucking great. What else could happen?