Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I claim nothing. Merlin is the property of the BBC, and this is just for fun.

A/N: The idea was the following: How could I write a magic reveal in an episode where Morgana is working against Camelot, but still somewhat good? The best season for that was Season 3, of course, and I decided on Episode 2. The Tears of Uther Pendragon Part 2.

I hope you enjoy!

SUMMER

"I thought… because she has magic, I thought we were the same"

"In some ways you are."

"No. I will never be like her."

"You have learnt an important lesson, Merlin. Your determination to see goodness in people will be your undoing. But I fear that your futures are now joined forever. She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love."

He felt the darkness course through the roots, the very foundations of Camelot. It spread its way through the Earth, the soil of the city, and up through his body. His head lashed back of its own accord. It clawed up the walls, rumbling in its wake, and then the towers. He felt it reach the sky and thunder roared.

Merlin grimaced and began to run. The dead had risen, and he knew very well who did it.

~{(0)}~

He turned a corner, taking his pained breathing as yet further inspiration to get to his destination quickly. Every footfall took more from his reserves than any spell ever did.

"There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of... I don't know what it is. I don't want to say... it's not wisdom. But, yes. That's what it is."

It was a tad bit ironic, given what he was about to do. Arthur wouldn't be all too happy, probably. But still... He flung his arm out and pulverized a skeleton, and another when it moved to block his path. He took a distinct, twisted pleasure in launching one out of a window. He would have to apologize to Arthur's ancestors later.

"I don't have time. I need to get back to Camelot. The kingdom is in danger and...it's my fault. I should've listened to you. Should never have trusted Morgana."

"You did what you felt was right, and that shows great courage, but trust is a double edged sword."

He stood before the entrance to the catacombs. The gates were flung open, shredded by a force he knew to be magic. It lingered in the air, thick as the darkness he descended into. Merlin's eyes were golden as he calmly took the steps down. There were skeletons hidden in the darkness but he did not bother with his hands. His magic tore them apart as he passed them.

There was light as he reached the bottom. It was unearthly, pale, a shadow of the sun's own rays. The magic was putrid and foul and older than Kilgharrah himself. Merlin unsheathed his blade, useless as it would be. His steps were quiet as he turned the corner and saw her standing there. She was bathed in the light of shadows, a vision of twisted beauty. He knew whose fault that was.

He noted the wooden staff in the center of the room from which the light had been birthed. Its form was as twisted as Morgana's smile when her head turned to him. He knew from her eyes that she was beginning to comprehend just how significant he was, in the scheme of things. She was beginning to comprehend that he would never stop trying to stop her. She would be right.

Still, her old confidence hadn't left her, warped as it had begun to become. "You should leave, while you still can."

The castle rumbled in distress. Lightning's light striking at the illumination of the moon. Brighter, angrier, more vicious. He thought, briefly, of Nimueh. Was he the lightning? Or was Morgana? Was she the moon and he the sky?

The sky thundered, and his heart did too. "Morgana, please. I beg you. Women and children are dying. The city will fall."

She didn't falter. "Good."

She was bluffing and he knew it. But still, his voice wavered. "No, you don't mean that."

She faltered then. "I have magic, Merlin. Uther hates me and everyone like me. Why should I feel any differently about him?"

It was strange that she was seeking validation from him, pleading in her own way. Not that she knew what that was like. Morgana had never had to beg for a thing in her life.

"You of all people could change Uther's mind, but doing this? Using magic like this will only harden his heart."

Her eyes narrowed in frustration. "You don't have magic, Merlin. How could you even hope to understand?"

And there it was, the moment of truth. She would hate him, if he told her about his magic. If she didn't already. Merlin wondered if she had truly forgiven him for poisoning her. Did she understand? Would she have done the same? He couldn't bring himself to tell her. Kilgharrah and Gaius weighed heavily on his mind. She would tell Uther, or worse still, Arthur.

"I do understand, believe me. If I had your gifts, I would harness them for good. That's what magic should be for. That's why you were born with these powers."

She could scream in frustration, he could tell. He probably could scream in frustration too, but she couldn't tell - he had been wearing a mask for longer.

She fumed. "You don't know what it's like to be an outsider. To be ashamed of how you were born, to have to hide who you are. Do you think I deserve to be executed because of who I am?"

His first memories were of being caressed and cuddled and coddled by his mother Hunith. She was a sweet woman who worked hard and gave him everything she could. His second memories were of his delight when he could summon toys to his hand, when he made candles glow. His third memories were of being called a bastard and not knowing what it meant, except that it made his mother cry.

He remembered being called a demon child. The other children told him he was born in a lightning storm, that he was evil. And when he cried, when he wailed because the things they said hurt, the skies would darken, and rain would fall, and the other children would run to their own families. Lightning would hammer the earth.

They got bolder as they got older though, and Merlin meeker. They would hurt him. They'd push him, punch him. They would throw things at him, too. Sometimes they made him bleed and he wanted nothing more than to hurt them in return but he wouldn't. Because he was desperate to prove that he wasn't a monster. He was just a normal boy.

But he wasn't and he never would be. He hid his magic, as best he could. But it was never enough. It always slipped from his tight, white-knuckled grasp. It struck out when he most desperately wished that it wouldn't, and every time the villagers became more suspicious. Not just resentful of him, but his own mother as well, for spawning a demon.

His only reprieve from that pain had been Will, who joked him through it. Who took the blame for some of the mischief that Merlin's magic caused. Will never treated him differently. He never lied to Merlin. Will had died for his sake. If Merlin didn't have a friend like Will, who risked a lot and risked it often for him, then Merlin would never have made it to Camelot.

Morgana never had that. He could have been that, but he was afraid. He was a coward, Merlin knew as much. Will wouldn't have poisoned his friend. He would have found another way. But Merlin didn't. He betrayed Morgana. She had put her entire life in his hand and he crushed it.

The rumbling brought his attention back. Her eyes were studying his own. Her pupils were dilated, searching him for the truth. For once in his life, the truth. He would give it to her.

His voice cracked. "No, Morgana, you don't deserve to be executed for who you are. No one does."

Her eyes widened slightly. He had caught her completely off guard. She had expected him to condemn her for having magic. Is that what he had become?

He continued. "But it doesn't have to be like this." He stepped closer. "We can find another way."

They stared at each other for a moment. For one brief second, a minute, a breath, they both hoped that what he said was true.

"There is no other way." Her voice was soft, but heavy with conviction.

He nodded at her words, and stepped back. She knew he wouldn't give up. He made a move for the rowan staff, just to get her on the defensive. She had a sword raised quickly, and he did as well. He tapped his blade to hers and the fighting began. It was a bit of a performance on both their parts. He wasn't aiming to harm her, and for some reason she wasn't either.

Merlin smirked a little bit. "What are you going to do? Kill me?"

Morgana got a little competitive, but she was amused. "You don't think I can?"

They struck at each other with solid blows, but not as much passion as either of them should have. The crack of thunder outside seemed to have dispelled any of Morgana's hesitations or distractions. She struck her first true blow, and he was only just able to block it, his wrist aching from the exertion. He adjusted his grip. They weren't playing anymore.

He went on the offensive, striking at her head from above, she blocked it and took advantage of his close proximity. Twisting her body around, she moved to strike at his abdomen. Merlin jumped back, but the tip of her sword cut at his shirt and grazed his skin.

Morgana showed surprise. "You've gotten handy with a sword since I've been gone, Merlin."

He pointed at the cut. "Not handy enough."

She grinned despite herself, but not for long. She tacked on a little grimace and decided to bite at him. "Awfully good with poison though, I'll tell you that."

His face flickered as if she had struck him with the sword. It was the worst possible time for a conversation, the worst possible moment to tell her the truth. She was already in league with Morgause, she hated him and would hate him more. The castle was under siege, Arthur could have been hurt. But Merlin felt it in his heart.

He dropped his sword. "I didn't want to. You were my friend. You are still my friend, Morgana."

She gaped at his dropped sword. He was clearly full of surprises. But she wouldn't allow him the chance to blindside her. "So what happened Merlin? Couldn't find another way? Or maybe you just wanted me to die because I had magic."

He frowned. "Is that what you think of me, Morgana?"

"It's what you've shown to me. Friend."

She moved forward with her blade aimed at his throat. He didn't move.

"If you're going to kill me, make it quick."

She was puzzled once more, but she didn't show it this time.

"Why should I?"

The blade was touching his skin now.

"Because if you don't I will stop you."

She laughed. "And just how do you plan on doing that, Merlin? You're useless even with a sword."

She was baiting him, but he wouldn't give her the satisfaction. He nudged the blade away from his throat and began to move forward.

"Because I do know what it's like to be an outsider. I do know what it's like to be ashamed of how I was born. And I already do have to hide who I am every day, Morgana. Every. Single. Day."

He was a step away from her, and she was looking up at him, startled but entranced by the way he spoke. This was no serving boy speaking.

"I can't let anybody else get hurt Morgana. I'm a protector. I protected you too, once. I'm sorry that you made me hurt you. I'm sorry that I wasn't a good friend to you. But I can't let this go on."

She moved to stab him but he knocked her away with a flash of his eyes. Not very much, not very hard, but enough that she was at a safe distance. She didn't even blink as her feet were dragged through the floor and she barely maintained her balance.

Her eyes didn't turn gold in return. She was as stuck in place as the staff in the center of the room, staring at him in what he could only call soul-shattering shock. Though he couldn't tell if it was his soul or hers that was doing the shattering.

The room felt different. The magic shifted, and the torches became lit all at once, contrasting the pale light of the moon with a fiery hue. Merlin stood straighter, as if he was at last being honest with himself, admitting to a heritage older than time. He was.

He locked a look with her, and gave her a moment to sear the gold of his eyes in her memory for all of time. He reached towards the rowan staff from where he stood, and pulled it towards him with magic. It flew to him with little hesitation, as if it had always been his servant. He took it in his hands firmly, and something gave in the atmosphere. The dark magic bristled, afraid of what was to come, but powerless to do anything about it, like Morgana herself.

Merlin raised a knee and slammed the staff to it, and with a spark, he tore it in half.

Morgana recalled the sheer power of the staff. When Morgause gave it to her it hummed in her hands, prickling at where she held it like a thousand needles.

"I'm not powerful enough to wield this, Morgause."

"Do not worry my dear, that staff was crafted from the Rowan tree in the center of the Isle of the Blessed. It carries its own power. None have laid eyes on it except for the High Priestesses, and the blood god that planted it."

Her disbelief was immense as the darkness receded from the sky. She and he both felt it retreat from the towers and the walls of the castle. They felt it abandon the undead it had summoned. They felt it rush down through the soiled soil and into the catacombs, to attack Merlin.

Wind rushed through, the only sign of the physical manifestation of the evil Morgana had wrought forth into Camelot. And yet, somehow, Merlin stood calmly in the center, and with his glowing eyes silenced it once and for all, without moving or flinching.

It was dreadfully quiet, and Morgana hated it because she was certain that even he could hear her heart pumping, could sense her fear. And still his eyes were glowing, as if mocking her and apologizing all at once. As he stood before her, the flames of the torches framing his figure, she wondered if he had planted the rowan tree.

But her awe at his power was short-lived as the gold receded from his eyes and he looked more like Merlin and less like Death. When he stared at her with those insufferably blue eyes, when he moved to help her up, only then could she bring herself to burn with the anger that she was feeling.

Merlin had magic.

Merlin had magic, and he killed her.

She trusted him, and he did not trust her. The betrayal pulled at her throat more than the hemlock ever could.

Her eyes watered and she stood up, still holding the sword at him. It was useless of course, they both knew it. Even her magic would have been useless. She held it up against him anyways.

"How many?" She demanded. Her voice was raw with anger. "How many of our kin did you betray? How many have you sacrificed to Uther's hatred, Merlin?"

Merlin flinched. "Just you."

That had hurt her in ways she was not prepared for.

"How many have you killed for his sake?"

"Too many Morgana. But not for Uther's sake. Never for Uther's sake."

"Then for who? Arthur?"

Merlin nodded. "He is destined to bring magic back to Camelot, Morgana. I have to protect him. He's my friend."

She reeled. "So was I."

Merlin couldn't respond to that. His heart was thudding in his chest. His throat was constricted. This was a terrible idea, but Morgana had to know.

"You're a monster Merlin."

His face crumpled. "I didn't want to poison you, Morgana."

"That's not what this is about!" She screamed. "You knew. You knew I had magic. You could have helped me and you-you..." She glared at him. "You pawned me off for the druids to deal with. And you got them all killed. You did that Merlin. That was you. I've lived with it for years but it was never my guilt to bear. "

She was up close now, pounding her fist on his chest with every accusation.

He let her. What she said was nothing new. "Yes, Morgana. I've done terrible things, I know that. But I'm trying. I'm trying really hard to change things."

He could feel the heat of her tears as they dripped down her face. "How could you do this, Merlin?"

She stared at him, desperate for an answer for the sake of her own sanity.

"I-" Merlin did not like how he was at a loss for words. Arthur and the knights were probably still fighting. He decided he needed to sit.

He moved towards one of the tombs and sat on it, his hands clasped together. Her eyes followed him, brows knit together.

"I would say..." he began carefully, "that it wasn't my choice. But that's not true. It has been my choice."

She began to open her mouth to say something but Merlin cut her off. "I'm not talking about poisoning you Morgana. I really did have no choice then. If I didn't do it, Morgause wouldn't have stopped the siege of the city."

She offered nothing to that, which he supposed was a sort of permission to continue.

"I have been able to do magic since I was a baby. I did magic while still in a cradle. I could make things fly, or light up candles."

Tears had stopped streaming down her face, and now she was listening. Guarded, but curious. If anyone deserved an explanation it was her.

"I was always told that I was a monster, Morgana. You're just another person in a long line of people. I had to leave Ealdor when I was nineteen because if I didn't, bad things would happen..." He let that hang in the air. "My mother sent me to Gaius. He's her uncle, and a good friend. She sent me here to Camelot because I needed to learn to control my magic and nobody else could teach me. Let alone in Ealdor."

He thought, for a moment, that her eyes softened. Her face resolved to neutrality soon enough.

He tapped the tomb with his fingers. "When I stepped through the gates of Camelot, the first person I met was Gwen. She was so kind. And as we entered the citadel, do you know what the first thing I saw was Morgana? I saw you, looking down at the execution of Thomas Collins. For having magic."

He huffed. "I came from a place where having magic made me a demon, and waltzed into the heart of a kingdom where having magic made me a dead man instead. Gaius told me as much. I saved his life with magic, and the very first thing he did was tell me off."

Merlin laughed to himself. "He still does that. But he's not the only one… On my first night, a voice called my name. I went down to the caverns and I met a dragon."

She gasped, her first reaction. "It was you, you released the dragon while I was away. Gwen told me about it."

Merlin nodded. "That was a mistake." He looked at her intently. "One of very many of my mistakes, Morgana. That first night he told me I was destined to bring magic back to the land. But he told me I could only do it through Arthur. If I was to fulfill my destiny, I needed to protect Arthur."

He sighed. "And so I did. Not only because it was my destiny, but because Arthur became a friend. And despite everything, sometimes I see him and I just know that… he is the king we've been waiting for."

"He's Uther's son, Merlin." Morgana snapped.

"He's much more than that Morgana, and you know it."

She changed the pace of the conversation. "And what else did the lizard happen to say?"

Merlin quirked a smirk at hearing Kilgharrah called a lizard. "He answered my questions mostly, and sometimes he warned me about things… and he was wrong."

Morgana watched him warily. "Like not telling me about my magic. That was his directive, I presume?"

"No." Merlin said. "His directive was for me to kill you. Or to let you die."

Her mouth opened at that but she didn't say anything, likely from shock.

"He told me, Morgana, that you were destined for darkness. I told him you had a good heart."

Merlin stood up and approached her. She didn't move. "It wasn't only until you began to meet with Morgause that I suspected maybe he wasn't wrong."

Morgana glared at him. "Oh? I'm the evil one? It seems to me that I was just making your job easier. By killing Uther, Arthur could be king."

Merlin shook his head. "If you killed Uther, Morgana, if you did it with magic… Arthur would never accept it. He would become just like his father. Arthur has made great strides but he's not ready to become king yet."

"So you're just going to wait until Uther dies of old age? You're going to let our people suffer for that long in order to preserve Arthur's innocence? I thought you were a coward but it turns out you're just a fool. You went to a dragon for advice and listened. Like a puppy."

"I listened to you, too," he shrugged "whenever you had a vision, I acted on it."

She was brought up short for a moment but brought it around to the offensive. "And yet you couldn't tell me about your magic."

"Don't you think I wanted to Morgana?"

"Clearly not all that much if the fact that it took me raising an army of the undead is any indication."

Merlin groaned. "Morgana I've been alone all of my life. Nobody to tell my secret to. Nobody to share myself with. I had Will and my mother before, but they didn't have magic, they couldn't understand. Gaius doesn't practice anymore. And anybody else just...died. For my sake. Or because of a curse. Or because I had to stop them from hurting Arthur."

He looked up at her. "But then there you were with your visions. I suspected, I hoped, but I couldn't bring myself to believe. Until that night that you told me what you thought it was. And suddenly I didn't feel so alone anymore. Because you were my friend Morgana. You risked your life going to Ealdor to fight for me, a servant. And you had magic. If anyone deserved to have it, it was you."

There wasn't any particular emotion on Morgana's face, except for perhaps the shadow of a smile that flickered on her lips as she recalled the day she went to Ealdor.

"I wanted to tell you so badly, but… Well, my excuse was -is - that all my life I had been told not to tell anyone. Since I was a small child. I have always lived in fear. It's...it's not an easy thing to admit for me. And you're the king's ward, Morgana. Add that to the fact that the dragon insisted you were evil and I..."

He motioned to her. "I failed as a friend, and I chose not to tell you. And I'm sorry. But I'm telling you now. You're the first person from Camelot I've willingly told."

She stared at him evenly for a few moments. "So what now, Merlin? I can't stop. I'm too far gone. And I don't think you will stop protecting Arthur either."

"No."

She narrowed her eyes. "Why would you tell me this?"

"Because you deserve it, Morgana. You're still good. You trusted me and I hurt you. So now I'm trusting you."

"You're an idiot Merlin." She bit. "If I tell Arthur, you will be executed or exiled. Do you think he will forgive you? You just gave me the key to winning Camelot. What will she do without her protector?"

"Arthur wouldn't kill me. He would be hurt that I haven't told him. Conflicted. But he wouldn't kill me. Not that it would matter. Just know, Camelot will always have my protection."

Morgana bristled, working herself up again. "What has this kingdom done for you that I haven't? Why do they deserve your help anymore than I do?"

Merlin didn't answer her question, choosing to answer the unaired one instead. "I told you about my magic because we could find another way, Morgana. It doesn't have to be like this."

A moment came and went.

She sheathed her sword. "They'll be looking for me."

Merlin nodded.

They assessed one another until Merlin spoke."Will you tell Morgause?"

"I don't know." Morgana said.

Merlin nodded, and decided to grin, despite his rapidly beating heart. "Just remember, if Arthur banishes me, there will be no one to help him put on his night shift or keep his figure trim. The last time I was gone for more than twenty four hours he couldn't even find his sock drawer."

Morgana stared at him incredulously as he suddenly disappeared, taking the torchlight with him. She was in the moonlight again. Morgana almost couldn't help the giggle that came out of her mouth. She was horrified and confused, and very much in need of a nap. But she did wonder just how much Merlin had given up for Camelot. What was his play?

Arthur burst into the catacombs in a panic with wild eyes and she startled. When he saw her the relief on his face was somewhat… heartwarming.

"Morgana! You're safe!" His eyes wandered around the room and landed on the rowan staff. Her heart leaped up in panic, but he came to a different assumption than what she feared. "Did… did you stop the undead? With… that?" His eyes went to her sword.

She couldn't help but smirk a little. "Is it so surprising? I used to beat you in fights all the time when we were younger."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Okay... we have to tell father about this."

She nodded, clenching her jaw.

Arthur began to turn around towards the stairs but stopped and said something unexpected. "Morgana? Good job. I'm glad to have you back."

Her face made a humble smile, and she felt a small rush of affection for her brother. "I'm glad to be back."

Arthur cleared his throat. "Right, well, you wouldn't have happened to have seen my idiot manservant would you? He's always in the most unlikely of places after these sorts of things. Wouldn't have been surprised if he had tripped his way down here."

Morgana froze a little. She could have told him then and there Merlin's secret. Even blamed the staff on him. But she couldn't. Not yet. She had to strategize.

She laughed. "Not that I noticed."

They began to head up the stairs. Morgana knew only one thing. She would be sharing some more words with Merlin.

For better or worse, this was far from over.

But maybe… maybe they could find another way.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I really hope you enjoyed it. I might be doing a couple more chapters for this one-shot if the response is good. It was really fun, and good practice for writing.