This idea has been in the works for a while on-and-off, and I tried writing a few different partners (Theresa/Siryn being my second fave that I almost ran with) but this one got particularly stuck in my brain, especially after Into the Spider-verse.

Enjoy! Throw in a review for thoughts if that's your jam.

A Long Story.

"Pretentious mother fuckers..."

"Sorry, Mr. Pool?"

Deadpool blinked, nearly unaware that he had spoken aloud. His careless facade quickly fell back into place, however.

"Never mind," he responded swiftly. "This is my stop. As always, Dopinder- it was a pleasure."

The cab driver nodded and was half-amused, half-disappointed when the red-and-black suited man held up his hand for a high-five. His typical form of payment. There was always something interesting - and sometimes oddly rewarding- about transporting the absurd man, but surely a traditional tip wouldn't have hurt anyone, either.

"Enjoy your day, Mr. Pool!" Dopinder called out his window.

He had driven Deadpool up a long driveway towards a mansion that was pale against the growing dark of the evening. He had no idea what business the other man could be conducting there, but it was a different locale than he'd ever brought him to before - less seedy, by far.

"Will do," the mercenary sounded confident as he strolled toward the front door.

Not for the first time, Dopinder watched and wondered what his own ass would look like in tight leather before he drove away.

Wade heard the cab retreat back towards the road and heaved a deep breath before knocking on the front door. It was fair to say that this wasn't his favorite place to return to, but it was simply a means to an end.

Unfortunately, the scrapyard showdown with Francis had not been the last time he'd had to deal with self-righteous Colossus or his moody- but admittedly more entertaining- trainee.

Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

Still a bomb-ass name.

But they were relentless, always "checking in" to tempt him their way. They'd given him a wide berth for a while - lots of sexy time with Vanessa after they'd reunited- no, don't think about her!- but they had not forgotten to get back at it eventually.

He had, as Colossus always reminded him, promised to consider giving the X-Men a try if the two helped him take on Francis and Angel.

He had, as he always retorted to Tin Man, not been specific about when he would make an effort towards that promise.

But now, over a year later, he wanted their help again. So, in a proactive move to gain their favor, he had come to peruse the home of the X-Nerds. He still was not enthused, but he was a man of his word so he'd always intended to come check out their digs some day.

It was just a complete coincidence that he was doing it now when it happened to benefit him in some way.

"Suuuch a coincidence," he sighed as he rocked on the balls of his feet while he waited on the front stoop.

Finally, the door slowly opened inward.

"Hiiii GI Jane," his voice was a bit overly-sweet.

"Hey, Loser," the gothy teenage warhead, conversely, sounded very bland.

"Oh, it's good to be home."

The door pulled open further, then. He suspected he would see Colossus's lumbering form but instead there was a tall, slender woman with dark skin and white hair.

"Does every girl in this school chop their hair- is it a requirement?" he gasped, hand over his heart. "Are you being indoctrinated?"

"No," she stopped chomping on her trademark gum just long enough to answer.

"Just blink twice, and I'll liberate you."

He got a blank glare.

"This is Storm- our headmistress."

"Nice," he exaggerated looking the woman up and down. "This is how all porn starts- run along, now, child."

"Ew."

"I'm sure Colossus will be grateful that you're working hard to prove what he sees in you," the headmistress's upper lip curled at his behavior.

She kept composure, through; she hardly even looked ruffled by the lewd first impression. He could respect that. Maybe one developed a thick skin for being shocked when you ran a school full of teenagers.

"Take that up with him," Deadpool waved her off. "I just want a behind the scenes look at Hogwarts."

"...do you understand this is a serious institution?" the woman glared at him.

Contrary to the peaceful evening that had surrounded them moments before, thunder suddenly rolled. Deadpool pivoted to gaze around, and he gave a low whistle at the instantly dense darkness and the lightening that suddenly flickered between them.

"Storm ...I get it. That's cute," he graded her and turned back to the two females. "Do I get to come in, now?"

Headmistress Storm seemed mildly perturbed that her show of power didn't awe him more, but it only showed on her face for a moment. Then she was stoic once more.

"So long as there are no tricks up your sleeves ...or anywhere else," she eyed him dubiously. "Safety is our priority."

"Yeah, I heard nothing bad ever happens here..."

The girls couldn't see his face behind the mask, but the eye roll was evident in his tone and the expressions readable through the fabric.

"You'll be watched," Storm ignored his jab.

"He has made it!" a deep voice boomed from further inside before Colossus came into the foyer.

"I have a watch, so I can be on time," Deadpool proudly tugged at his glove to show off his Futurama watch.

"You're an idiot."

Negasonic's snark hardly even phased him.

"Play nice," the mercenary chided and decided to just go ahead and let himself in rather than wait, stepping over the threshold for the first time.

"It is good to see you here," Colossus's shiny face smiled.

"Yeah, I think I really set-off the decor," Deadpool was amicable as his head swiveled around to take-in every nook and cranny.

Lots of hardwood, deep earth tones, and plush furnishings.

"Always jokes," Colossus nodded knowingly. "Come along; let us see the place."

"We can do this like an episode of 'Cribs,' right? Because they always show where the magic happens!" Deadpool rotated his leather hips.

"Again: ew," the teen with them grimaced.

"This is a school, Deadpool- you must think before words come out of your mouth," Colossus made an attempted at educating him.

"Probably not gonna happen," Deadpool easily dismissed that scrap of advice.

"We will see."

"Fine, so where's the labs?" Deadpool rubbed his hands together eagerly. "And where do you keep that plane? I know you're not parking it in the library!"

"That is not important today."

"Oh, shove a dick in it," he complained loudly. "It's the most important part."

"Language," Colossus scowled. "And our training facilities are only for X-Men."

"And you want me to join, don't you? You should wine and dine me- show off a little!"

"You are being a child," the metallic man pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Show. Me. The money!" the Merc cheered.

He may not have been 100% serious about shacking up with Team Boy Scout, but he'd be a moron if he weren't interested in what these geeks had locked away. He'd be damned if his tour wasn't going to be a full one.

Storm opened her mouth -probably to tell him to keep it down for the X-Babies who were studying- but the thick front door opened again behind them. That admittedly had Wade reaching for a gun because it didn't seem like anyone was expecting a guest to sneak up on them, but he stopped when he saw the white and black clad woman now framed in the doorway.

"Whaaaat!" he was absolutely elated. "You know SpiderWoman? Get the fuck out! You are making the hard sell, aren't you?"

The other masked figure froze, eyes on him, but then shook her head and took a few steps in.

"Storm," she nodded respectfully towards the white-haired woman. "I found someone who knows you…"

She turned to reveal a young girl clinging to her back. She'd huddled in so tightly against the woman that she had nearly succeeded in being unnoticeable.

Storm gasped, her composure slipping more than Wade had been able to get it to.

Ooookay, show off.

"Megan," the woman breathed and moved forward, arms out.

The little girl practically launched herself from SpiderWoman's back and into the teacher's arms. Storm caught her easily into a hug and looked her over as best she could.

Wade did, too, but mostly just at the flimsy, phosphorescent pink wings fluttering from the slits in her jacket.

Alright, alright, so mutants here were pretty cool.

"I didn't know where to find you," the girl started crying.

"I know, I know … ...let me get you down to Hank. We'll make sure you're alright," she was cooing at the too-skinny girl. "Thank you," she spared one hand to squeeze Spider Woman's elbow.

"Always your friendly neighborhood Spider Woman," the shorter lady saluted loosely. "I'll still keep an eye our for anyone else."

Storm nodded solemnly and made to leave before seeming to remember Wade. She glared silently and ticked an arm noticeably tighter around her current charge. As if he was going to go after the kid.

Really rolling out that welcome mat ...

"Keep an eye on him," she looked to Colossus. "He's your responsibility."

And with that, she swept away.

"Lost student? Not good for PR, am I right?" Wade filled the resulting silence.

Spider Woman's chin ticked in his direction again.

"A morlock," Colossus corrected.

"A who's-it-whats-it, now?"

"Wade?!" Spider Woman spoke up again, loudly this time.

He twisted in her direction again so fast his neck nearly cricked. Who the blazes…

"That's my name, don't wear it out or sell it to the news stations…" he quipped to buy time.

His eyes roved Spider Woman for a clue, but there was nothing more than usual to see. Because he had definitely seen her, of course - on the news and, occasionally, from the street. He had fully considered making contact just for shits, but he hadn't gone for it yet since she was a bit highflying to easily track down and there wasn't a ton of motivation.

Yet

"Holy shit..."

A white-clad hand reached up to strip her hood and mask away. Her hair was shorter than he remembered, and she'd aged up a bit, but…

"Gwen Stacy!? Holy hell is right!"

"Shit, actually," Negasonic couldn't stop herself from correcting him. "She said shit."

"Enough you," Wade snapped his fingers in her general direction.

"...I thought you were dead," Gwen shook her head slowly.

"Pfff, who said?"

"Only everyone," she pushed at his chest.

"Oh, then you're very behind, Princess..."

"But h-"

"Wait, wait," Colossus stepped forward to interrupt. "How do you two know each other?"

Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls

6 years, 9 months, 1 week, 4 days, 11 hours, 25 minutes, and 36 seconds ago

Whoever Sister Margaret had been was probably sorely disappointed in her namesake, but Gwen Stacy liked the place well enough.

The thick metal door next to the name plaque lead weren't locked or manned- it never had been in her memory. Anyone who hadn't belonged there would have figure it out pretty damn quick...or at least would have been quickly educated.

The blonde let herself in quietly and moved through the dark, narrow hallway and into the spacious bar area full of patrons. Most were mercenaries; others were members of other nefarious professions. Still, within those walls, everyone generally left each other well enough alone ...generally.

"Hey, G!" Weasel, the scraggly bartender, greeted her happily enough when she drew near.

"Still not a good nickname," Gwen rolled her eyes and fished a thin, gold card from the back of her jeans to toss at him. "Hey, Wade."

Wade Wilson was, as usual, seated at the bar with his friend.

"Stacy," he tilted his beer toward her.

Gwen took a seat at the stool beside him.

"What was the job?

"Pervy stalker"

"Ah. Cute'

"Jack and Coke?" Weasel checked, looking over her job card before filing it away.

He didn't need to know she was underage. Actually, maybe he did know and just didn't care. Either way, her dad would flip his shit about this. She did it anyway/

"Yup."

"Clean job? Because Knight complained long and loud to the cops before coming to us- she doesn't want him dead and linked to her..."

"I know, I know - he's fine. He got the picture," Gwen promised.

"From a little thing like you?" Wade gasped. "You're amazing."

Gwen flipped him the bird. She wasn't the only powered-up person pulling jobs there, but it was the kind of abnormality that was rarely addressed directly.

But then, of course, there was Wade who liked to say whatever he pleased and tried to nudge issues straight out into the open.

"Sure am; you wanna see for yourself?" she warned him.

"Don't tempt me with a good time" Wade seemed unconcerned and easily rebounded. "Could be a good time. You're on the right side of jailbait..."

"Stop sniffing each others asses," Weasel slid a glass to the girl and eyed his friend dubiously.

"But that's how I make friends," Wade threw on a theatrical pout. "How else will I know if she's worthy?"

"Worthy? Oh boy," Gwen's eyes rolled high in their sockets as she snatched up her drink- she was probably going to need it at this point.

"Yes, I have to decide I really like you because I'll devote a lot into a true friend ...time, sexual favors, willingness to murder, help you re-tile your kitchen, or install your sex swing..."

"Damn. Already installed that," she snapped her fingers in faux-regret.

"Well, then, I'll help when you upgrade," he reasoned.

"Why would I ever do that?"

"Hooks creak, straps wear ...that is, if you're doing it right," Wade's face broke into a smirk.

A dare to balk.

"Oh and you think you can be the judge of that?" Gwen snorted.

"I am uniquely qualified, yes," he told her with confidence.

"He's a sex swing model," Weasel intervened with a huff.

"It's how I made my first million," Wade was very matter-of-fact about this idea.

"Millions? And you dress like that?" Gwen glanced over his faded jacket and vintage t-shirt.

"Girl, don't you just wanna have fun?" Wade's face fell slack in feigned shock as he yanked his coat open proudly to flash a full view of his Cyndi Lauper shirt.

Gwen laughed.

"If that's your era, then I think I prefer Pat Benetar."

"You would!"

Gwen frowned thoughtfully for a moment.

"I'm not even sure what that means..."

"You wouldn't," Wade just scoffed again.

"...you won't stop, will you?" Gwen asked but looked to Weasel instead of Wade- he seemed to understand himself dismissed for the moment and polished off the end of his beer rather than answer.

"Nope," Weasel was nodding. "Not until you forget your original point- he can go in that circle all night."

"As if there's something wrong with stamina," Wade shrugged as he involved himself again

Gwen couldn't help grinning.

Wade had a reputation- and a well-earned one- for being an asshole, but he was also fun. Dangerous and sometimes eccentric, sure, but also a fairly descent guy ...relatively speaking, of course, if you considered general company.

"Weasel must not know much about that."

Wade had some stale pretzels in his mouth at that point, but he was happy to chuckle at his friend's expense.

"Fuck you," the other man was not as impressed.

"Shut up and pay me."

"You hook, now?"

"I'll beat your ass with one hand tied behind my back," the female mercenary rolled her blue eyes. "But pay me, first," she held her palm out for the cash from her job.

"Insult me and use me," Weasel muttered.

"Guess you might be the hooker," Wade airily reasoned.

"Weren't we friends once?" Weasel checked before he turned for the safe.

"Oh, total BFFs," the broader man promised. "...we hurt his feelings," he then mock-whispered to Gwen

"Fuck off!" Weasel demanded over his shoulder without even looking.

"Aw, sad," the blonde mused.

"I didn't know you were like him," Weasel grumbled when he came back to the bar and handed over a clipped pile of bills.

"One of us! One of us!" Wade began chanting quietly while he picked through the bowl of pretzels to find the saltiest ones.

Gwen laughed openly.

"I have my moments, Weez."

Wade gasped and slowly looked up.

"Weez ...Wheezy...Lil Wayne."

"No."

"It's a new nickname."

"No."

"It'll stick."

"I said: no."

"Good luck with that one," Gwen snorted and pushed herself off of her stool. "I'm gonna catch Jean-Paul before I go..."

She pocketed her payday and, drink in one hand, she patted Wade on the shoulder to stroll away.

"Later."

"See ya," Weasel returned dully.

"Uh-huh ...let me know when you need a hand with that sex swing!" Wade bid her farewell more loudly than necessary.

Gwen's head tilted back in a laugh but she otherwise only flashed a thumbs-up.

Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls

6 years, 6 months, 1 week, 3 days, 13 hours, 6 min, and 49 seconds ago

Mindless of spilled puddles of drinks, food crumbs, or questionable sticky residue, Gwen leaned between Wade and a man she didn't even know to slap a gold card onto the wooden bar top of Sister Margaret's.

She was usually happier to be there.

"Already?!" Weasel laughed happily.

"No. I'm returning it," the blonde snapped.

"Party foul! Boooo!" Wade heckled.

Gwen ignored him- seriously, was he always here in this same seat at the bar?

"What? Why?" Weasel reached for the card and tilted the face of it up to reassure himself on what the job had been.

"Do you mind?" the man with a graying goatee beside her growled and nudged her rudely.

She still had a shoulder pushed between he and Wade, and the man was apparently taking exception. Without hesitation, Gwen grabbed the elbow that had dared tried to push at her, and she cranked it into an awkward angle. The man gave an ineffectual yelp and Weasel's eyes widened.

Even Wade straightened up some, though he was smirking.

"I'm sorry; am I in your way?" she glared at him.

"Nope," his answer came swift and unabashed.

She released him with a brief huff. He did glare at her but didn't seem to have the nerve to open his mouth before he stalked away.

"This job's right up your alley, Stacy," Weasel spoke again, though more cautiously than before - he wasn't exactly known for being ballsy and wasn't willing to bait a mutant, or whatever she was.

"No, this guy hiring -Brewer? He is a mess. I'm not doing it."

"Aw, Jesus- why are you vetting the wallet?" Weasel complained.

It wasn't as if every person hiring a mercenary had squeaky-clean hands- that was no secret

"I always do."

"Fucking great."

"The mark is a competitor of this guy," Gwen slapped the name card still on the bar's surface. "That make's him just as bad in my book. I'm not doing it."

"Aw, c'mon..."

"Not. Doing. It."

"Returning a job's bad form," Weasel continued to whine.

"I'm not helping someone who's into sex trafficking," Gwen leaned over the bar to hiss at its tender.

It was somewhat hypocritical to do shady things for certain people and not others, but Gwen had some lines. She worked within the box those lines made- rarely stepping foot beyond the boundaries- in order to look at herself levelly in the mirror.

"But you'll be taking another one off the streets," Weasel tempted, smiling.

As if she hadn't thought of that.

"Someone else will do it."

That was certainly always true Plenty of people didn't have qualms about what jobs they took. Someone did the paying, and then they did the doing -any following ramifications were someone else's issue.

Fair enough. Gwen just couldn't quite get to that point herself.

"You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"

"Fuck you," she spat and finally shoved herself off the wooden bar.

Wade had been politely- not to mention surprisingly - quiet for most of the exchange. He watched Gwen go, her long blonde hair swaying, and did some quick figuring. Nodding to himself, he snatched the abandoned Gold Card off the bar and slipped away after her.

"Hey, Stacy!"

She was already out on the sidewalk and heading toward the corner when he came to the mouth of the alley. At his yell, she only glanced around.

"Go away, Wilson."

"Gwendolyn Maxine, hold up," he ordered and half-jogged, half-shuffled to catch her.

She did stop at that.

"How do you know my middle name?" she scowled.

"I'm not all brawn- I know things," his responding smile was proud.

"Sure," she merely muttered and proceeded again.

Now Wade could easily fall into step.

"So ...how are you tonight?"

His tone was light and silly, but some miniature part of her was struck that it was touching he was asking in the first place.

"Peachy"

"C'mon, Gwenny," he grumbled.

She froze on the sidewalk.

"Don't call me that," she pointed a finger straight into his face.

Wade was more known for crossing boundaries than respecting them, but something about the filthy look she was giving him made him think she was going to crank his arm out of its socket like she'd nearly done to the man up at the bar earlier.

"Okay," he nodded slowly, then swiftly met her pace when she started walking again.

"Go on, tell Uncle Wade what's wrong..."

"...I'm pissed off."

"No!?" his gasp was mocking.

Gwen gave him a look.

"The job'll get done," he told her steadily.

Yes, a little drop in the ocean.

"Yeah ...doesn't really make a big difference, though, does it?"

"Whoa, okay...so we're being existential tonight. Alright," Wade sighed and glanced up at the darkening sky to think. "...everything will matter when you least expect it if you trust your natural charm."

"Oh yeah? Who's that- Confucious?" Gwen rose an eyebrow that she tried to tell herself was not amused.

"A bastardization of my last two fortune cookies," Wade admitted. "Golden Wok always gives extra."

Gwen clung to this chance to talk about the irrelevant.

"You gotta go with Bankok Kitchen- no bonus fortune cookies but the best Seshuan Chicken."

"But ...cookies," he pouted.

"You do have a point"

"A smile!" Wade cheered when she chuckled, and he punched the air in triumph. "I win."

Gwen schooled her face quickly to hush him up.

"You sure you're alright?"

She glanced at him. The question seemed sincere enough, his usual teasing lilt on pause for now.

"...I'll be fine."

"Good. Wanna play Skeeball?"

Gwen blinked.

"All hail to the King of the Non Sequitur..."

"Bow before me!" Wade hooked her arm in his to take over the direction of their walk.

Soon enough, they were, in fact, at an arcade.

"So ... ...you're cheering me up by kicking my ass?" Gwen scowled, head cocked.

They stood at a bank of skeeball machines, and his machine had been rolling out a steady stream of tickets for about ten minutes while hers merely spit a few here and there.

"I never said I was cheering you up," he smoothly denied. "This is all about me."

"I noticed..."

But Gwen wasn't actually mad; she was having fun. Still, Skeeball was not her friend so she moved on to explore.

"Hey! Wait up, come b- shiiit," Wade plucked up his last two balls to chuck before following with a handful of ticket ropes. "It's not my fault you young-uns don't know the classics and just play with your gameboys and your Wii or what the fuck ever..."

"I know some of the classics..."

"Oooo, PacMan- exciting," Wade rolled his dark eyes and leant against the machine Gwen chose to insert money into next.

"So go back to playing with your balls," Gwen winked.

"May favorite past time," Wade accepted the double entendre without a care. "But I've been informed I'm being rude."

"I didn't say 'rude'."

Gwen clarified without looking away from the game, which she was getting a little intense into, leaning and jabbing the joystick. Wade grinned.

"Shut up."

They both fell quiet until Gwen's lives were up and Wade could drag her to a Street Figther II game... ..

"Shit!" she slapped her hand on the console after she lost ...again.

"Oh, so you are trying?" Wade teased.

"You're a pain ...how often are you practicing here?" she inquired, nudging him with her elbow.

This had the added bonus of edging him away from the game. He seemed to know what she was playing at but went along anyway, for which she was grateful- continuous losing was no help to the ego.

"Ah, just now and then," he shrugged. "Oooo..."

He quickly shooed her to a shooting gallery game.

"Yeah right," Gwen scowled.

She knew him well enough to know he had a military background, and she personally knew the strict basics when it came to guns; she wasn't practiced.

"You're so competitive, Stacy," he dismissed her annoyance and fed in money for himself.

Gwen watched him with a waning feeling of annoyance. It was hard to be upset with him when he'd come out of the way to work on cheering her up ...which was quiet a success, really. She was distracted and in less of a dark mood than she had been at Sister Margaret's...

She scowled at the thought.

Focusing on Wade lifted her again, though. His face was set, eyes narrowed just slightly at the targets on screen before him, and his tongue was peeking between his lips. She grinned some.

"Woo! High score," Wade was shameless in throwing up gleeful arms to celebrate.

"Seriously?" Gwen's eyes popped.

She had not been paying much attention to his actual progress on screen.

"Shit yeah."

She watched him enter "ASSFACE" as his name for the leader board. "DICKWAD" was down the list, so she had a feeling he'd had success on this game before. She didn't ask, though, least it give him a chance to gloat.

"C'mon, c'mon, get in on this, Blondie."

Wade shoved more money into the slot and held out a beckoning arm. He hardly waited and grabbed her arm to tug her close to him in front of the game and pressed the gun to her hand.

"So, what, is this your move?" Gwen grinned once he swiftly made himself at home behind her.

"Oh yeah," he murmured into her ear. "I just slip it in right here- right in front of everyone."

Gwen elbowed him in the gut.

"Ooo- rough. You're not dissuading me, you know," he chortled.

"Ugh, jeeze..."

Annoyed, Gwen made to set aside the gun that had been pressed into her palms.

"No, no, no- come on," Wade tightened his arms around her and squared her up to the screen.

She actually had to put in very little work as he mirrored her arms and moved her quickly from target to target.

"Well, not a high score, but at least you didn't suck at something," Wade congratulated when the round was up.

"Thanks ...sort of."

"What can I say," he slung an arm around her shoulders to continue to peruse the arcade. "I'm a gentleman."

"Something like that," she laughed along. "Thanks for tonight, though ...I'm serious."

He nodded slowly, letting the mood somber up marginally.

"It's nothing - some jobs get weird. I get that."

He usually dealt with this by giving someone an even worse ass-beating rather than walking away, but to each their own.

"It's not nothing. I owe you one."

"Alright, Princess. When I need a pick me up, you're my call," Wade agreed- it usually wasn't bad to have someone owing you a favor.

"Good. I should be," she nodded and went ahead and leaned against his side and hooked her thumb in the loop of his jeans. "You're a good guy."

"No I'm not."

"...you're a pretty good guy."

"Eh..."

Gwen scoffed.

"You're an alright guy, and I'm not going any lower than that."

"Fine, but don't spread it around," he conceded.

"Wouldn't want anyone at Margaret's thinking you have a soul, right?"

"Exactly ...but I wouldn't do this for Weasel, anyway, so no one would believe you," Wade mused.

"You don't bring him to your arcade?"

"No ...but I'm glad you think of it as mine," he puffed out his chest importantly.

"... ...so how come you brought me?

"What's with looking the gift horse in the mouth?" he tutted.

Gwen nudged him to continue.

"What?" You just looked sad - I have soft spots, too, you know," he feigned whining.

"Well ...thanks again."

"Plus ...you're on the young side, but you're also pretty hot, Stacy - I'm probably not getting laid tonight, though, huh?" he put on a pout.

"Nah, sorry," Gwen smiled. "Tempting, though. This was an adorable date," she winked.

"Okay ...so Blondie doesn't fool around on the first date. Noted."

She elbowed him just to keep up a facade of annoyance, and they soon went their own separate ways- Gwen with a ghost of a smile lingering on her face

Sister Margaret's School for Wayward Girls

6 years, 5 months, 1 day, 12 hours, 4 minutes, and 2 seconds ago

"You're in my seat, Stacy," Wade griped when he strolled through Sister Margaret's and saw the blonde woman in his favorite stool at the bar.

"I know- I was waiting for you."

"Wow. Stalk much," he scoffed at her but took no real issue with climbing onto the stool beside her.

"Only on special occasions."

Gwen spoke this off-hand, shrugging casually even though she already confessed to Wade that she was waiting on him. Surely he had not missed this, but he shrugged similarly and waved over a drink.

"I know what you did," she supplied once he had a beer in hand.

"Ohoho, mama," Wade chortled. "You're going to have to be a lot more specific," he paused to take a drink. "I do a lot of things."

Still smiling pleasantly, Gwen picked up the sheet of paper in front of her and slid it in front of him. Wade obligingly took a peek and saw it was a news article printed from the internet.

"Not supporting print media, I see," he quipped and let his eyes fly over the sheet.

Alleged Murderer implicated in Sex Trafficking

"Sounds naughty," Wade assessed.

"Funny how the same guy who put in a job order to take down Royce Donovan's prostitution network got picked up his murder..."

"I guess he must have gotten impatient after you turned it down," Wade took more interest than necessary in his beer bottle.

"I know you picked up that job, Wilson. Bar wench over there already confirmed it," she gestured to Weasel.

"Damn, is nothing sacred," Wade set his drink down a little heavily. "You're dead to me!" he called off to the shaggy-haired man.

Weasel did look up but dismissed the pair of them with a roll of his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell me about your hopes and dreams," Wade cooed mockingly. "C'mon, Blondie ...you don't tell me about all your work either. Untwist your panties - better yet, let me help." he leered, then.

Gwen scoffed at his attempt to change the subject. She was going to stay on track.

"Well, I'm glad you did it."

As Weasel neared them, she ordered two shots of whiskey, clapping Wade on the back.

"I'll pick up your tab tonight."

"...any chance you want to pick up my whole standing tab?" the other mercenary attempted. "Because I haven't paid that in a looooong time..."

"Don't ruin it by being greedy," Gwen rolled her eyes high.

Weasel soon had beers and shots in front of them.

"Fine fine ...and you're a fucking fink," Wade accused the proprietor.

"Would you stop whining and drink that?" Gwen snapped before downing her own shot.

Not to be outdone, Wade shut up and followed suit.

"Thaaaaat's the ticket..."

Weasel provided each of them with a fresh beer and wandered off to tend to one of the scantily-clad barmaids who'd approached the speed-bar with an order.

"So, out with it -why didn't you say anything?" Gwen kicked at Wade's leg.

He must have known it would mean a lot to her after the way she'd complained at Weasel. Gwen wasn't so conceited as to think that was precisely why he'd taken the job- a payday was big motivation- but she was sure it was why he'd executed the job the way he'd done it. He'd taken out the head of one trafficking network and left a trail that blamed it on another gang doing the same sort of shit. That took extra efforts, and she could not think of another reason to do that except that he had heard her opinion on the job.

"Because I didn't want you to get all sappy- it makes me embarrassed for you," Wade quipped in a pacifying sort of way like one might talk to a child.

"C'mon"

It was fortuitous that her evening was free- she had nowhere to go and nobody to go see, so she could run his circles.

He openly scoffed.

"It just..." he chocked on his words, scoffed again for show, and shrugged himself back together. "I don't like sex traffickers either, yeah? I'm pro-consensual sex- you don't have a moral monopoly on that, G."

Gwen practically beamed.

"Well, if I've ever called you stupid, I was wrong- I take it back."

"You've been name-calling, Stacy? That's cold."

"You could've asked for help."

"So now I'm selfish, too," he continued to gripe.

"Would you shut it?" Gwen had to laugh a little. "I'm just saying..."

Wade briefly paused in his deflection and default banter to watch her take a deep swig of beer. A smile was still dancing around her eyes, which made him grin a little, too.

"I figured you didn't want to be anywhere near it, so..." he trailed off to leave it at that.

The blonde girl nodded slowly to acknowledge his momentary cease-fire.

"...my automatic reaction was to be mad. I didn't even think about getting backhanded with the job," she was a little sorry to admit.

"Well," Wade sighed thoughtfully. "I'm smarter than you. No shame in that..."

That got an eye roll, too, though it was a miniature version of one.

"It was pretty good of you, ya know..."

"Aagh, -no. Yuck," Wade pulled a face and tried to verbally distance himself from her renewed assertions that he was similar to a descent human being.

"Alright, alright ...it's true, but I won't talk about it."

"Well, sure, that's the American way, right?" Wade agreed with her logic.

Gwen smiled and decided to go ahead and abandon the topic for the moment. He'd done what he'd done, and they both knew it- they could let it quietly sit between them for a while.

Or they could just drink and not bother thinking about it in the slightest.

Which was what they did.

Happily.

"...who you got in the Dead Pool, anyway?" Wade asked when they got into some bar gossip.

He craned back in his seat to look up at the chalk board.

"I don't place bets on it," Gwen informed him after a swig of her beer. "A little too morbid."

"Aw, where's your sense of adventure? Besides, people bet on you," he twisted a finger up to indicate the sign once again.

"I know -people tend to underestimate a girl. Plus, a lot of people think I'm a mutant, and some people would kind of approve of a dead mutant," she added darkly.

"Oooo, neither confirming nor denying, huh? That's the first time I've ever actually heard you say The M Word," Wade observed "Yo, Wheez! Two Blow Job shots!" Wade shouted as distraction in case she regretted what she'd said.

"No!" Weasel spat. "Nope, no more- you cause too many messes with those."

"Not for a prank, you fuckwad- for us!" Wade waved between himself and his blonde friend. "Gwen, will you accept a blowjob from me? I promise to be gentle," he batted his eyes at her.

"Sounds lovely," Gwen tried to match his prim tone but ruined it with a laugh.

"You heard the lady. Public blowies all around."

Grumbling, Weasel obligingly poured the simple drinks and slid them to the two patrons.

Gwen raised her glass to Wade.

"I hope it's the best you've ever had," she told him with a blank face before they threw back their shots.

"You dream big," Wade patted her thigh. "I like that about you."

Gwen rose her brow at his wide hand on her leg. It might've been from drinking, but she thought spot sort of ...tingled? She certainly didn't feel any trepidation. Interesting.

"Problem?" Wade dared her.

"...not yet."

"Noted," he smirked, finally letting his hand slip away. "Theoretically, what would constitute the beginning of a problem?"

"... ... I'll let you know."

Gwen studied him for a few moments. She understood what was being asked, and the question ...did not make her immediately angry. She didn't want to leave or scoff at him for being a perv. Wade was Wade. An asshole, but one of the honorable ones even when he didn't want to be.

A ...friend.

Were they friends?

She wasn't exactly sure about that title since Wade worked so very hard to keep people at arm's length. Still, he wasn't just some guy who happened to have the same job as her. He was ...Wade. Dangerous and yet somehow incredibly safe to her at the same time.

And it certainly wasn't as though he was hard to look at. On that contrary, he stood out in a bar where a majority of the men were fairly haggard.

"Get out of your head, Blondie" Wade chortled.

Gwen hummed in amusement and finished off her beer.

"Be right back."

She slid off of her stool with a soft sigh and made her way to the women's restroom. It was a dingy bathroom- no lavish provisions, for sure- but cleaner than one might suspect in this place.

Someone joined her by the time she was washing her hands, and she was surprised to look up and find that it was Wade letting himself in.

"Wilson?"

"Problem?" he whispered and rose a cocky eyebrow.

"I just didn't know you had to sit to pee," she returned with a cockiness that didn't quite fit the nerves that suddenly fluttered through her chest.

"Well everyone needs to rest sometime," he shrugged.

The way he moved forward towards her could only be described as prowling.

"And you didn't answer me," he reminded her. "This a problem?"

"...not yet."

"Did you know you're hard to read sometimes, Blondie?" he murmured as he approached and jointed her in front of the sink.

"That's usually a good thing around here," Gwen answered truthfully.

Sister Margaret's wasn't really the place for openness and vulnerability.

"But I'm no harm; I just want to know how you feel about sex on the second date; we already know how you feel about shacking up on the first."

"We're calling this a date?"

"Well yeeeeah. Drinks and getting to know each other is a classic date. I don't mind that you paid - I embrace the 21st century," he nodded proudly.

"Well, I do love a modern man..."

"Whoa, love - I'm not quite there yet. Let's give it time, yeah?" he smirked, sidling closer. "It's been a nice night, though..."

"Agreed."

He nodded slowly, but then his arm moved quickly to catch one of his fingers into the belt loop of her pants.

"Problem?" he checked after yanking her flush to him.

Her hands flew to his shoulders, but it seemed to be in reflex only since she didn't shove him away. Given that, he was sure he knew the answer to his own question, but he'd wait to hear it.

"... ...no, not yet."

"Oh, that's good," he purred.

And then they were kissing.

It was not tentative or searching. It was hard, and Wade wasn't interested in there being a sliver of space between them. He planted his hands firmly on the counter behind Gwen, boxing her in tightly.

Problem?" he leaned back just enough to ask, his lips brushing hers as she spoke.

"...nah," she uttered back and looped her arms around his broad shoulders to pull him back again.

He was grabby, which wasn't so surprising since he was playful and intense in nearly every facet of his behavior. Gwen found she didn't mind; she scraped her nails sharply into the back of his neck when his grip on her hip became nearly bruising.

"Ohhh, she plays," Wade growled. "Daddy likes..."

"Daddy?" Gwen paused, brow arched.

"Yeah, say it again," Wade smirked.

Gwen's nose wrinkled distastefully.

"No role playing for you? Spoil sport," Wade pouted.

As attractive as he was, the look was ridiculous on him.

"So ...you want to have such good sex with me that I become your daughter? That's the fantasy here?"

"Well it just sounds silly when you put it like that ... ...wait, you do want to have sex?!"

Gwen knew full well that he was jesting. She was not being presumptuous; sex was exactly where this was heading, especially if the swelling bulge just north of her belly button -and slightly to the left- was proper evidence to go by.

Still, she flushed.

"Oh, well ...maybe not..."

She ignored her uneven breath and shrugged as if to casually move away.

"No, no, no, no," Wade laughed, trapping her again against the counter.

"Ass," Gwen grumbled when she was thoroughly stuck.

"Feel free to grab it."

His mouth moved from hers his leg moved between her thighs. Before Gwen even realized it, she was rocking lightly with him. It felt damn near perfect. Pleasurable enough that she was only a little chagrined when he chuckled a little and muttered something about her being eager.

"Happy birthday to me," he sing-songed before stooping enough to grab under the swell of her ass and lift her up.

Gwen was momentarily distracted by those words..

"It's your birthday?" she breathed.

She hitched hear arms more snug around his neck when he turned away from the counter.

"I'm gonna pretend," he waggled his eyebrow and walked them into one of the stalls opposite where they'd just been standing.

Once they were in, his hand fumbled blindly towards the lock.

"So," he started conversational when he had to lean away from her to get the lock to slid into its slot. "You're not just doing this just because you think I'm some good guy now, right?"

"Seriously?" Gwen griped- he was going to go and question it?

"Well, I just want to know if you're going to expect love letters and good-night texts..."

"Shut. Up," Gwen growled and fisted her hand into his hair to give the short locks a sharp tug.

"Alright, alright," Wade grinned and dropped her unceremoniously to her feet. "...shirt or pants..." he wondered aloud to himself as he gazed down at her. "There's always a best way to unwrap a gift..."

Gwen smacked his chest lightly and started undoing his jeans. She hoped that would help him make his decision a little more quickly- if he took his sweet time and the excitement began to wane, she might just go ahead and question the brilliance of sex in a public restroom.

He practically giggled and his hands shot for the button and zipper of her pants, too.

Of course, a decision didn't have to be brilliant to be fun... ... ...

"Mmmm ...you taste pretty good, Stacy," Wade smirked.

Gwen absolutely flushed, merely blinking as she watched him lower his hand from his mouth. She wasn't sure why watching him lick herself off of his fingers was hot instead of lewd, but the attention of his hand between her legs had felt too divine to care.

"Problem?" he sighed, digging his hands through her long hair to tug and tilt her face up to him.

"We're good," she promised and stretched up for a kiss, which he leaned a fraction back from.

"Good ...good, you gotta safe word?"

Gwen frowned. What was he planning that they needed a safe word?

"Just good practice to have one," he ticked a shoulder. "Ours is kumquat, then, alright?"

He swooped in to kiss her before she had a chance to laugh, and then he grunted as he gathered her into his thick arms a second time. She locked her legs around him without being told.

Shortly, they both groaned as he guided them to fit together where he held her against the wall.

And then they didn't talk for a while. There were a few laughs, some grunting, and definitely a lot of moaning ...but full sentences had to momentarily take a back seat.

Until the wooden door to the room swung open to bang off of the wall. Gwen's eyes flew open and she clenched her hands on Wade's shoulders, and he briefly froze. There was shock in the look they shared, and then Wade snorted; Gwen threw a hand over his mouth to shush him.

Whoever had wandered into the restroom to unwittingly join them didn't seem to pay any mind, simply going about their business. Wade bit at her fingers while they waited, prompting Gwen to grab and tug at his hair again. He let his eyes roll back as if in ecstasy and pressed his hips forward slightly where he was pressed within her. Gwen whimpered and then quickly bit down at her lip. She gave him what she hoped was a warning sort of look.

No dice.

Though they remained mostly still against the stall door, Wade continued to grid slowly against her. It was just enough to make her squirm until the pisser a few feet away finished up and left.

"God!" Gwen hissed and hit Wade's shoulder.

"Nope, just me - call me Wade," he told her smugly.

Gwen had a smart retort for that -really, she did- but he headed her off by picking up where they'd left off when the unwitting cock-block had come.

"Arrogant bastard," she murmured, the words undermined by the moan lacing her voice.

"Uh-huh, talk dirt to me."

Wade had no qualms about the name-calling, rather seemed to derive some encouragement from it. He was spurred on, adjusting his hold on her to give himself more room to touch her and make sure they both got off before another patron could wander in and interrupt.

...

"Thought you were supposed to be strong; how come I'm doing the heavy lifting?"

They were slumped against the wall still regaining their breath, but he was ready for banter. Gwen swallowed heavily and lifted her head from where it was rested back against the stall. Wade was draped boneless against her, one hand clutching the top of the stall, but apparently he didn't feel in a vulnerable position.

"You might want to check your choice of words," Gwen smirked.

"Oooh, are you going to teach me a lesson" Wade gave a dramatic shudder at the thought

"Not today..."

He leant to kiss her again briefly and then slowly lowered her to her feet.

"Alright?" he checked, hitching his pants up with a soft grunt so he could redo his belt.

"Uh-huh," Gwen licked her lips for any last trace of him and ran a hand through her lightly tussled hair.

As her heart returned to its normal pace, reality seemed to settle, too. The high was over and she was half naked in a bathroom. She huffed a soft snort and snaked an arm to unlock the stall door so she could shove Wade out.

"Wh- really?" he laughed as he tried to sound wounded.

"Just gimme a sec," Gwen chortled.

She grabbed some toilet paper to clean herself up and then straighten her pants, which were dangling uselessly off of one calf. Her shirt got fixed and smoothed-down, too, and she combed at her hair some more as she let herself out. The bathroom was empty by then, but she found Wade lounging in the hallway.

He levied himself up to stand straight when Gwen emerged, a grin still on his face.

"M'lady," he offered her his elbow, which she swatted aside.

"I don't expect love letters and goodnight texts," she promised to his earlier question.

He only laughed at her response but got the gist and strolled down the hall out into the bar ahead of her. Gwen shortly followed, finding Weasel waiting crossly.

"Leaving a purse sitting out around here is a good idea?" he snapped at her, lifting it from behind the bar where he'd clearly stashed it.

"Well, it is when you're looking out for me. Thanks, mom," Gwen winked.

"I hate you"

"Nah, you don't," Wade negated.

"Don't even get me started on you," the bartender snorted.

"Will you cut it out if I pay my tab," Gwen interrupted what she was sure was going to be a colorful monologue.

"... ...I guess," he tutted.

"Good"

She did just that and, as promised, Weasel stopped nettling either of them.

"Want walked out?" Wade offered.

"Only if you're leaving, Prince Charming."

"Sure, why not"

Gwen wasn't really interested in Wade teasing her up to be a needy sort of girl, but the pair walk out together anyway.

"Later Wilson ...thanks again."

"I'm always willing to rock your world, Blondie- you know that".

She punched his shoulder lightly.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about," she scowled.

"Yeah, yeah ...don't mention it," he shrugged. "Seriously."

"That ...is a long story," was all Gwen came up with immediately for the hulking mutant.

Her past wasn't exactly an open book, and she didn't have any plans for that to change even if she was on friendly terms with the X-Men.

"Yeah, Spidey and I go way back…"

"Sucks for her," the teenager continue to add shitty commentary.

"You're not even annoying me anymore, Le Mis - this is the best. Day. Ever! Bring it in!"

He snatched Gwen into a hug tight enough that she grunted, but she hugged him back all the same.

And it was genuine.

It had been a blow to hear - after the fact, thank you very much - about Wade's illness and subsequent supposed death. She had stepped back from the mercenary work and the scene at Sister Margaret's due to some personal business and life reevaluation by the time he had received his diagnosis and he and Vanessa had started traveling to look for treatments, but she had maintained enough contacts that she had eventually heard what happened to him.

"Wait a minute," she pushed away after some thought. "Does Weasel know about this?" she pointed at him.

"Of course; he's my comic relief," Wade nodded.

"And he never mentioned it?! I just saw him a couple months ago..."

"...Weasel?" Colossus tried and failed to catch up to what was going on since neither suited individual seemed prone to explanation.

"You did?!" Wade happily jumped onto the indignant bandwagon. "Dick-wad could have told me you were still in town - hold on," he threw up both hands and took a dramatic pause. "Does he know you're Spider Woman? Cuz I'll kill 'im..."

"Uh, no," Gwen blanched. "I keep that under wraps. I've just made some friends here, so..."

"Secret identity - I dig it," Wade empathized while dramatically waving his hand at his own suit.

"Uh-huh, about that... ...what the hell happened to you?" she took a few full steps back to look him over thoroughly.

She had heard of Deadpool, of course - she had too many street contacts to miss out on the news of him. She'd kept a distance because he seemed like trouble, so she had never even guessed that he was ...Wade.

"Ohhhh now that is an even longer story," he assured her with a humorless sort of chuckle. "And I am only gonna tell it over drinks. Ready to blow this popsicle stand? We have a shit ton of catching up to do..."