April 7th, 2020. 21:57

"I thought I would find you up here." Damian didn't respond to the voice, tightening his grip on his own arms at the noise. Nightwing wasn't surprised, jumping down the last small distance and landing next to his little brother, also dressed in his costume right now, just like he was.

He moved towards his little brother, not like there was a lot of room to move on the fire escape. Nightwing carefully sat down next to him, dripping from the rain outside.

"It wasn't your fault Robin." Dick whispers softly, and Robin glances at him.

"Neither was it yours." He shoots back, but Dick's face morphs slightly. Damian snorts. "You cannot tell me not to blame myself if you are doing the same."

"But it was my fault." Dick whispers, and Damian shook his head.

"It was not." Damian said. His brother shuffled next to him, but Damian could see the older man was reluctant to hug him. He wanted to…

"Just hug me, Grayson." Damian muttered with a low voice. "You are not going to hurt me." Damian snapped, and Dick chuckles softly, a forced chuckle to relieve the tension. Damian frowns, not liking the sound, not liking the fact that his brother had to pretend to be okay for him right now.

But it had the desired effect, as Dick finally wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. Damian sighed, leaning against Dick's chest. He tore his eyes from the building across the street, the one he had been observing for the past day. He allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment.

He could feel Grayson's breaths, his chest rising and falling with a slight stutter in it. An obvious sign of how close his brother was to crying. He ignored it, not up to dealing with it right now. He focused on the rain clattering above him, next to him, and barely not hitting him as it continued to cascade down.

He was just barely shielded from the fire escape above him, but occasionally when the wind started blowing a bit harder it hit him as well. He didn't mind, he couldn't care less about getting wet from a little bit of rain.

He could only care about the family that lived in the house across the street, the one he had been observing for hours now, and the same one that was now planning a funeral.

April 6th, 2020. 23:26. The previous day.

He felt nauseous, stomach turning violently at the sight in front of him. He wanted him, sent him a message, every day for the last week now, but he had never responded. Wasn't allowed to respond to the message before. This time he didn't care, because this time there was a hostage with him.

"Robin, do not engage, you hear me?" He could hear Batman growl in his ear, but Damian frowned, bringing his hand to his ear.

"Sorry Batman, I have to." He spoke softly, careful so his enemy wouldn't hear him.

"Robin turn on your GPS right now!" Batman roared, but Damian took it out of his ear, crushing it beneath his boot. He couldn't let his family get involved, not if he wanted to avoid the hostage dying. He glances up again, grasping his binoculars to scan his surroundings again to be sure.

The woman was still in the middle of the rooftop, ropes tightly wrapped around her limbs and binding them behind her back. There was a gag in his mouth and a trickle of blood on the side of her face. She was terrified, her eyes wide and filled with fear as she looks at the person who had kidnapped her.

The talon suit only served as another blow to the gut.

No, it wasn't the suit that was the issue. He had seen the suit too many times already for it to still bother him. He was used to the Talon's attacking him, or his family, from time to time. He was used to them hurting him, or his family. He didn't care about that to be honest, he could live with that.

He just couldn't live with the knowledge that his oldest brother was wearing the suit.

He forced himself to move, joints cracking softly but he ignored the sound. His binoculars were discarded and he moved from his hiding spot. Without wasting any time, he let himself fall off the roof, shooting his grappling hook and pull himself to the other building and landing swiftly on the rooftop.

The rain was barely audible above the roaring in his ears, but the rooftop was already drenched with water.

Grayson immediately turned around, and even the woman turned to him with wide terrified eyes. Damian could almost feel his heart sink at the sudden hope that those orbs were displaying. Of course they were hopeful, he was a hero in her eyes, he was Robin and sidekick of Batman.

"So you were receiving my messages." Grayson said, and Damian glared at him. Grayson took a step towards the woman, letting a blade extend from his left arm. "But you only responded when I took a hostage." The blade now rested against the woman's throat, and she was full on sobbing right now.

"Let her go." Damian frowned, muscles tense. Grayson chuckles, letting his free hand run through the woman's hair. The woman whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut.

"I can't do that Robin, you know that." Grayson chuckles, and Damian felt sick to hear that laugh. They had no right to make Grayson make that noise. They had no right to kidnap his brother in the first place. He wasn't theirs, he belonged with Damian's family, or wherever he wanted to belong.

They took him from his home in Blüdhaven 5 days ago, without any warning signs or anything that would have alerted them that the court was planning something. One day he was home, and the next day he wasn't anymore. Neither of them were prepared for Grayson to be taken.

It was the next night that a note was delivered to commissioner Gordon, addressed at Robin.

"Then what do you want." Damian yelled, and Dick chuckles again, because of course he did.

"I want you." Grayson responded with a dark chuckle. "I want you to join me."

"You know I cannot do that." Damian frowns, and Dick shrugs nonchalantly, dragging the knife lightly across the woman's throat. A slight trickle of blood appeared, but the knife barely broke through the skin. Damian grit his teeth, willing himself to stay still, to not give in despite the danger the woman was in.

Grayson wouldn't just kill her, he has never killed an innocent person.

He tried to not kill every time he went out as Robin, Nightwing or Batman. That didn't mean he never killed, because as much as he tried not to, he was equally as prepared to kill to protect his family or friends. He killed bad guys, he saw innocents get killed, by villains he was fighting…

But he never killed an innocent person.

"Would you risk her life to save your own?" The blade moved again, positioning it against her neck again. Except, Grayson wasn't himself right now. The court was controlling him, had somehow managed to brainwash him into thinking he wasn't Dick Grayson anymore, that he belonged to them.

Damian tensed, shaking his head.

"Leave her alone." Damian ordered, feeling panic increase with every second. He had to do something, he couldn't just go with Grayson, he couldn't risk someone controlling him, but he couldn't let Grayson kill the woman. And he sure as hell couldn't attack Grayson, he was too far away, and the armour prevented him from hurting him.

Before he'd even reach him, Grayson would kill her.

"Come with me, and I will." Damian didn't respond for a moment, frowning. And it seemed as if that was too long, that he had tested Grayson's…. Talon's patience too much.

"NO!" Damian screamed as his brother hosted up the woman, disregarding the blade entirely and putting his claws over the woman's throat. A terrified scream left the woman's mouth, muffled by the gag. Talon looked over to Damian, his intent all too evident on his face, and he wanted him to know what he was going to do.

He whirled the woman to the side, lifting his clawed hand…

.. Damian threw a knife before he even comprehended it himself. The armour was impenetrable, no space left open to strike him, hurt him enough to let the woman go. He learned that the hard way, and Grayson, Talon, knew it too. And yet, he didn't throw the knife to hurt Talon.

He could feel himself go cold the moment the knife buried itself in the woman's neck.

Her eyes widened, blood spurting from her neck before her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Talon slashed at the woman, and it all went in slow motion for a moment. The sudden attack surprised the Talon, and the woman slipped from his grasp. The claws barely missed the woman's throat.

The body crashed to the ground, lifeless in a puddle of water.

Damian fell to the ground, knees hitting the hard surface first. He just.. sat there, eyes trained on the ground where her blood slowly mixed with the rain. Talon stumbled back, and both of them were silent for a moment, neither moving and both staring at the dead body of the woman on the ground.

Damian couldn't get himself to move, not even with Talon right there, ready to attack him. Talon shakily reached for his mask, taking it off. Damian could feel his uniform soaking with water, rain continuing to fall. He didn't care.

"Dami?" He whispers softly, but even then… he couldn't get himself to move. He could feel tears well up in his eyes, blurring his vision as the tears were trapped in his domino mask. The mask of talon dropped to the ground with a loud thud, and Dick made his way over to Damian.

He wanted to run, but he wasn't sure how Damian would react if he did.

Dick fell to his knees next to Damian, hesitating. "Damian?" He asks softly, but Damian quietly shakes his head, closing his eyes. Dick sighs, reaching out to Damian and carefully bringing him closer. Damian didn't even care to ask if Dick was really himself right now, or why he was.

He didn't care if Talon was just pretending and was actually going to stab him in a second.

And his first thought wasn't what someone would think about what he did. He didn't feel the fear that he'd get kicked out, he didn't feel the shame that his father would feel, or the rest of his family. That didn't matter as much anymore, he could only feel disgust for himself, for killing an innocent…

So Grayson didn't have to.

April 7th, 2020. 22:13. On the fire escape again.

"Can I ask why you did it?" Dick whispers softly, because so far, he didn't have the chance to. Damian had been completely unresponsive yesterday, and Dick basically had to drag him back to the cave. And even while Alfred treated his minor wounds, and despite Alfred's questions, he still didn't speak up.

He was an empty shell, riddled with guilt.

And he had run away before Dick could really try to get him to talk.

"No." Damian snapped in a low voice, his voice lacking its usual energy.

"Can't I at least have that?" Dick tries again. An answer, an explanation, anything. Damian scowls, turning his head away from his oldest brother. He sighs shakily, trying to force the tension out of his body but nothing seemed to work. He closes his eyes, leaning his cheek against his knee.

"Look I get it if you hate-"

"I do not hate you Richard." Damian muttered darkly, still not turning around to face him. "I asked you to hug me, did I not?" He adds.

"You did… I just don't understand." Dick whispers. "I thought you didn't want me around, but you asked to hug you, and now you're snapping at me. I just want to know what's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong with me." Damian snaps, but his voice was weak, unsure. Dick shuffles a little closer. The rain slowly picked up again, almost deafening above them.

"I didn't mean it like that." Dick says softly. "Something's bothering you, and I just don't get what." Damian relaxes slightly in his hold at the reassurance, and slowly lifts his head again to look at Grayson.

"I do not want to talk about it, that is the problem." Damian mutters, but Dick shook his head.

"I know you don't, Dami." The silent implication was all too clear to the younger boy. But you have to, I want you to. Damian has had many instances where Dick had pushed him to talk. Never too far, and never truly forcing him or anything, but encouraging him to talk about his feelings instead of bottling them up.

Damian frowns, looking down. "I killed someone." He eventually whispers. "I.. I killed a mother." It wasn't even a revelation, they both knew he had.

"Why did you?"

"So you would not have to."

Dick could feel himself go cold, body filling with dread when suddenly everything became all too clear. Damian killed that woman…. so he wouldn't have her blood on his hands. He broke his no killing streak to defend his. A streak that he didn't just maintain for his father anymore.

No, he truly believed killing was wrong, and that he did something wrong in the past as well.

"Why would you do that?" Dick almost pleads, voice growing desperate. Damian frowns.

"So you would not have to, Grayson." Damian repeats himself. Dick sighs in frustration, but it wasn't directed at Damian, it was frustration with himself.

"I'm the big brother here Damian, I'm supposed to look after you." Dick tries, shaking his head. He never wanted Damian to kill an innocent for him, he never wanted Damian to kill for him so he didn't have to.

"Well you were not able to at that particular moment." Damian snaps, standing up. Dick could slap himself at that moment, not like he had the time for that though.

"Damian wait." Dick cried out, but Damian didn't listen, walking up the fire escape. Dick jumped up, running after him. Rain crashed into his face but he didn't care. "Robin!" Dick yelled, reaching forwards to grab Damian's wrist.

"What?!" Damian snapped, whirling around. His hair was slowly soaking with water, and he could feel water stream down his face.

"Please don't run off, not now." Dick pleaded, gently pulling Damian a bit closer to him.

"I did not mean to kill her… I mean.. I did but I did not want to.. you are aware of that right?" Damian whispers, and Dick's face softens. The rain was increasing, seemingly encasing them. Neither focused on the liquid.

"Of course I know kiddo." He says, bringing Damian to his chest and wrapping his arms around him. "I know you didn't want to, I know you've changed, we all do." Dick whispers, pulling away and gently putting his hands on either side of Damian's cheeks. Damian looks up hesitantly.

"I know you blame yourself, I know you hate yourself because of what you did, but know that no one here blames you. We know you changed and that you're not the same as you were 2 years ago." Damian doesn't move, doesn't say anything. "And I'm so sorry I put you in a position where you felt like you had to kill someone for me."

"I can't get that moment out of my head." Damian whispers brokenly. Wiping at his face, but Dick couldn't even see where the tears ended and where the rain began. They were both soaked already.

"Me neither kiddo…But we'll get over this together.. and I'm lucky to have such an amazing little brother who is willing to do something like that for me." Dick sucks in a hesitant breath. "I'm so proud of you little brother, so incredibly proud." He continues, pushing down his own guilty, pushing down his own self-hatred.

That didn't matter right now. He set it all aside for Damian, like had had done now almost 2 years ago, like he'd still do if needed. Damian was more important than him, all of his family would always come first. He pushed down his own guilt, that he was responsible for getting caught.

That it was his body to take that woman hostage to lure Damian out of hiding. To force Damian to disobey Bruce's direct orders and sneak out. And he pushed away the fact that it was his body that threatened to kill the woman, almost killed the woman, and the same body that forced Damian to make such an impossible decision.

Kill an innocent person so he wouldn't.

Damian sobbed softly, burying his face into Grayson's chest again. Dick wrapped his arms around the younger boy, holding him close.

Just for a little while longer.

Ehm... hurt/little comfort I guess..? *Hides* I'm sorry... this got way out of hand, but it felt right to cut if off right here. Also, this (again) turned out to be so much less about the actual theme than I intended it to be. Oh well... Hope you guys enjoyed it!